Trying to talk to guys on grindr is effort unless you are stunningly attractive or have a body pic on display that looks like you go to the gym 8 days a week.
Kawaii Panda Kinda like Yellow Fever, except Yellow Fever refers to you are attracted to people originated from East Asia countries. So China, Japan and South Korea, Taiwan, etc
Although this is not one of the reason why I wouldn't date a white man, it should be for anyone else looking at this video. The question must continue to be raised, are white men (people) sincere? Can they be outside their skin color of privilege? That is not a difficult question for me to answer personally, but unfortunately, it is for the majority of you. Besides, I'm not even attractive to them to even consider them. But this would be a game changer FOR REAL!
This was so exhausting as a gay asian lmao. Also, create longer videos in this series! Get more in depth/add layers. The format is still cute tho. (But also hire me)
LOL the ending kinda ruined it, of course you're not everyones cup of tea, no one is. The problem is not being someones cup of tea due to racial stereotypes that dehumanize you. That can be very mentally damaging.
As a human being disregarding the race, there’s always a time of our life where we get lonely and we subconsciously want another human being to make us feel special romantically. It’s a human instinct. So I went on social networking sites including grindr. But I realise that people from places like these are likely just there to smash. As an asian guy It was very difficult to catch someone’s attention in these places. At first it bothers me. But i realised that I just need to go out more. Well, not in clubs .. but travel and what not.. Meet new people in person. For me That’s the fastest way for people to be interested in who you are..is in person. I like this vid tho. It’s like a trip back to memory lane.
dating in general for asian guys is hard. i was surprised that asian dude got 20 people messaging him? i would be lucky to have even 5. and the fact that you have to try hard to the point where you feel like you gotta work for a response is so accurate. it's so exhausting and it absolutely messes with your self esteem
This was not even exaggerated. But they are just more numerous, it's not like every person of colour is chasing white men, or accepts and puts up with this hierarchy, in the, sometimes, rather vile space of an hookup app. If you are fairly reasonable and don't share this fixed "preference" of ethnicity, encountering it should turn you right off. I'm black and I know some black guys who exclusive look for other black guys because they don't want to deal with this "preference" that discriminates against them - so in a way it can be sort of contagious.
I don't want to call it self-hatred (cliche), but it is still odd and very telling, when a gay black man has ultimately decided he prefers anyone but other black men. Must be very difficult to date.
+Pocket Full of Fun I upvoted, but I can't agree with that entirely, on the "gay" side of things against black people. A lot of Asian males don't even give each other any consideration, let alone any other non-Caucasians. Most of their pairings are interracial, compared to black American males and diasporans of Carribean/continental African nationalities, that probably fall in the middle in terms of "loyalty". The only minority group of "gay" males that seek each other reliably, are Mestizo Latinos (Mixed White & Indig.) I am specific regarding Mestizos, as "Latino" is just an ethnicity, when plenty of them can be of African descent, indig., or white European/Mediterranean Asian. Most are mixed of varying levels of Euro and indigenous American and the typical Latino, is Mestizo. I say this also, as it does annoy me how some Latinos that are white and mingle fluidly with Anglo Americans**, are so quick to pretend it is a big deal, as if it constitutes an interracial relationship (see I Love Lucy). Being no different than a Nigerian and black American being in a relationship, from different cultures. I attribute dysfunction, to the fact gay black American males don't really have a home onto themselves, away from the "mainstream LGBT". A place to let their head and guard down. Because of this, it has terribly manifested into the messy psychological disaster things are today. The "It gets better" movement has turned into something of credibility for white or "whitish" LGBT teens, because of social structure they can fit into in certain gay-friendly enclaves, as young adults post-secondary school. Other than Atlanta or maybe some pockets of metropolitan areas within the USA, where do gay black people have a stable home to be themselves? It is not fair to many of them, that Austin, Castro, SF, Chicago, NYC, Boston, Dallas, Houston, West Hollywood and Miami are not as accommodating as Atlanta, thanks to varying forms of racism from both Latinos and Anglo-Americans**. In order to even fit in and chase "It Gets Better", many young black teens have to erase their identity in some senses and become a token or a comic foil. **(American "mainstream" culture, is unfortunately what I call "Anglo-American". Where other white immigrants from parts of Africa, Asia and mostly Europe (and their descendants) over the centuries, have slowly assimilated into Anglo American culture set by descendants of English colonists (and erased their own), to be simply called "white" and benefit from its privilege.)
+lupinranger forever Do you ever wonder why it ended up like that for you? Your socialization put you in this position? There have been times I have wondered that about myself. I looked deep inside and "saved" myself from turning out that way, in my early 20s. I checked myself and undid any societal brainwashing, to see the beauty within my ethnicity and assigned racial classification. I learned that, it wasn't so much I didn't find others attractive, but unequal preferences. But in reality, there are way too many other young black men who refuse to do the same (check yourself) and instead create a bad cycle, where they are not even an option for another black man to be with, because of societal brainwashing holding them back. This happens way too often regarding gifted or high-achieving black males, to the detriment of fellow black men and to the benefit of their white/non-black partners. I understand why you are the way you are, but hope you can find happiness and avoid prejudice. If not, learn to see the beauty in some members of your race, in this toxic society.
Honestly, I find the asian guy to be more attractive. He's adorable and has a playful attitude. Idk why people have to make rude comments or just mess with POC just for a fetish and not because of a genuine interest in the person... Then again they're using an app for hooking up. *shrugs*
Kai Decadence Idk what it is about west coast dating... It seems difficult. Honestly I'd love just to go grab a coffee with the asian guy. He reminds me of a guy I went on a couple of dates with in Georgia.
Believe it or not southerners aren't that bad and vicious. I looked around and didn't see a lot of no fems, (unless the dude was in the closet) there were some no fat, and I hardly saw no black and asian... Unless you're in Nola which was kind of weird. You'd think they were more open and accepting.
That's surprising to hear lol Yeah, out of all the places, you'd think it would be the south that would be the worst but I still would rather not be there because I do look out of the norm and I'd rather not get assaulted lol
Honestly the only time I get a lot of messages is if I have a blank profile with no race listed. Then if I change the race to black no messages at all, if I am talking to somebody and they find out I’m black they block or stop responding. If I have my picture up they either ignore me or only hit me up to fetishize me. There are never any conversations just ass pix the message “are you hung”. It’s a terrible experience, if I go to bars I get ignored there too. Being ostracized is a normal life.
Yes sadly, I can relate to this as well. It is reality for a lot of black guys, but other folks of color too and it's sad. We as gay people are oppressed and then you have other in the community doing more oppression. Unfortunately, we grew up in a racist world so even gay people these biases that present as simply discrimination and it's a problem!
I suppose it is, but it always goes both ways. As a white guy, I really have no preference, but really do enjoy the company of black men. No, not the BBC thing- but because I find many of them very attractive... so in messaging them... then I get the "demands" " preferences", "ignoring", " and attitudes... No doubt, I'm sure that black men may find it more difficult- but that may not be a bad thing.
yuzaku99 being fat is your choice unless you have a disability.. I can't wake up one day and choose not to be black anymore. But you can choose to go jog 🙃
Well at least in my area (small town in Germany) I'm not really very "liked" by other gays in a sexual way so I don't really know how it is in other bigger cities/countries . Also, I might "choose" to be fat but discrimination by others just as well is a choice. This is also the whole point about body positivity. It's not saying "being fat is healthy and all of you should just go out and get fat", the message, to me at least, is much rather to try and cut down on the discrimination by others and the stereotypes that are put on fat people.
I wanna also add that people shouldn't be cast out or less liked simply because they don't have a perfect body imo. Btw this is not an attack towards anyone and I'm not trying to start a fight or anything, just wanna get my opinion out without offending anyone 😅
You have some guys that say “ no blacks , only whites “ vice versa . There’s nothing wrong with a preference but if you don’t date a person because because of their skin color , I think that’s when it becomes an issue .
No trust me, it really is facial features on the by. Yeah skin color is one but I've asked bluntly on certain gay boards about why they aren't attracted to black guy and I've gotten plenty of answers that back it up. They don't like broad noses or full thick lips or certain brow structure.
+Kai Decadence Odd because most people usually define race as nothing more than just skin tone. And I have tried the same thing on Grindr and other chat groups but the majority of responses I got was either "I don't know" or just simply evaded the question or refused to answer. The only time I actually did get an answer was just related to skin tone.
Sometimes i wished we could just get rid of some people, like we all know this is a problem, but people will try so hard to defend it. The white messaged 18+ people barely got any replies. And he had to start asking people if they are into asians. Like wtf, how is that okay?
Thank God somebody did this video because this is a real big issue in the gay community or the LGBT community we have to stop judging each other and just see each other for Who We Are just saying hello doesn't hurt
I tried that same experience when I was single like 5 years ago and when I tell you I could NOT keep up with all the messages. At that point I realized how prejudice the community is. This is the order of most of the communities preferences: 1)White American men. 2) White latinos. 3) Fair skinned Asians. 4) Mixed latinos because they speak Spanish and a lot of people will consider them just “Latino” and not mixed. 5)Mixed Americans. 6)Black American men, dark skinned Asians, Black latinos basically anyone with a skin completion darker than Morris Chestnut are the last on everyone’s list. A white guy that’s a 3 can get just as much men as a black man that’s a perfect 10. Basically someone who looks like Ed Sheeren gets just as much attention as a Michael B Jordan.
The US must be a very sick country try to be Black guy here in Scandinavia when you have to stop responding to an army of tall model looking blond blue eyed men who just wants their fair share of black D .....
Did this with my white friend months ago and had a similar experience. I just accepted the situation. You just appreciate the guys that message you lol Oh well! 🤷🏻♂️
I’m a good looking young muscular asian and live in a small town not desired at all but when I go to the Bay Area I cannot keep up with my messages it really depends on the location and what they prefer in that area I feel like
It's fine to have preferences and to be attracted to features of one race more than another and that isn't racist in and of itself. I think it becomes and issue when you just make a blanket statement and straight up won't even consider someone solely because of their race. There's a difference between not being attracted to some BECAUSE of their race and not being attracted to someone because you don't find their specific, individual physical features attractive, which may or may not be features common within their race. Preferences are fine, but in the end, attraction should be a case-by-case thing, not a blanket, unwavering wall. p.s. I am a gay Asian American, but I don't care too much about the whole "no Asians" preference on a personal level. While it'd be great for that not to be a thing and it might limit the dating pool a bit, I'm not going to pressure someone into changing because quite frankly if they were in the mindset of "no Asians" I probably wouldn't want to be with them anyways even if society pressured them to open up. I want to be with someone who was into me from the start. I'm simply giving my two cents on the whole issue because I know other people do care about it
Doesn't seem like it but if they do, I think they should add a twist. Make the black guy a bottom and let them see what kind of messages we typically have to deal with with the whole mandingo/bbc fantasy crap lol
+Self Proclaimed esper Hmm, don't you know it? I think that is big issue. I can't see myself topping someone, except in rare cases were the chemistry would feel right and one feels punished for it. Tops are more so "racist" than bottoms.
I got sick of people thinking they could insult me on my profile so I wrote no Rice Queens. I've even gotten to a point where I don't just reject if they're being rude, I lay down why I'm rejecting them.
I don't understand grindr because I've had a lot of guys talking to me but it ended up being nothing, I guess it's that I don't want just sex... But when I want just sex and a little chat they're giving up on me so I don't really get it
I can't believe that some names that people come up with to describe other people. As a another gay guy, I tried to be subconscious of myself constantly. When I look at people online I have to ask myself am I being racist or am I being something else. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to communicate with them. I was just so nervous. I tried to actually Focus that their people and not something completely different. Everybody is a person and it doesn't matter what they look like it's what they they are as a person and their personality Not For What ethnicity is. I tried to keep in that in mind. And hope to meet other people and see where things will go.
Like the proposal of Marx for countering capitalism, why don't gay minorities do the same thing towards the dominating one, like let's revolutionize the idea of not dating white men, or at least not putting them on pedestals. Let's put on our dating apps: "Not into white men. Just preference".
Shoot I'm a pretty attractive geek/black guy, light tan. I hardly get responses unless I'm an ass. Barely texting, hours to days to respond back, or online solely for sex without any nudes. It's really strange. When I do send more than one picture people think I'm fake or something I'm not. Who else?
I think racial preference is something people notice in themselves like “hey of all the guys I’ve msged/tapped most of them are X but I’m just looking for people I’m attracted to in general” as opposed to a discrimination where they actively avoid certain races or say they’re exclusively attracted to one race or view being attracted to any particular race as a fetish. And people might think they aren’t racist but if the only people they’re msging and tapping are white people exclusively then either there isn’t much diversity in their area or they might be tricking themselves. And you don’t have to be white too to have an exclusive, discriminatory bias like that either.
Just to experiment I deleted my pix and just had my race as white on grindr and I got more messages than I ever did as the person of color I really am. I guess white men are white men regardless of sexuality
Why rule out a whole group of men based solely on a perception of the characteristics of their race? If it's not racism, then it's the definition of stereotyping, at the very least. Regardless of good or bad experiences with men of a particular race, closing your mind to other experiences and possibilities is never a good result. Is it so hard to see the person beyond just their physical and cultural attributes? Apparently yes. It would be great to hear more from psychologists and sociologists on the 'laws' of homosexual attraction in the modern Grindrised gay culture. Does anyone have any reading tips?
And that's the annoying thing about pigeon-holing when it comes to race. Not all Asian guys are "nelly bottoms" and not all black guys are "dom BBC tops". The moment people start applying these stereotypes to a whole group is when it gets annoying as hell.
It’s ok to have a preference. knowing what you like is good. However, it’s also important to keep in mind these are people you are going after. They have complex personalities, liked, dislikes, hopes, dreams, fears, and so on. They are not just that preference alone.
The editing is so out of whack in these videos. Just 3 minutes of jumping back and forth every 2 seconds between random interviews. No flow at all. Annoying because the content and topics are usually really interesting
Don't know why people put themselves through that grinder shit...its all bullshit, get out there and meet people face to face. Stop seeking validation from a text...
I get more messages as an Asian girl than an Asian guy on Tinder 😋😋😂😂 I never message people though because if they like me they'll message me, especially when I'm crossdressed as a girl on a gay app, I don't think I'm what most guys are looking for 😋😋😂😂 On Tinder is even more fun. But they discriminate trans and I had my profile banned 4-5 times already. So unacceptable.
As a white guy living in Japan, I see so so many ‘Asian only’ profiles. I feel like this happens with the majority in whatever country you got to. It just so happens that people are more tuned on to this issue now in America.
As someone who lives there, it's different in Asian countries like Japan. Most guys there are looking for LTR not hookups and 99% of the non-Asian profiles are just tourists so writing Asian-only eliminates most of the tourists. Even as an Asian, many guys will stop talking to you if they think you're just after a hookup.
people tend to message guys who look like their father figures growing up. the problem isn't racism, its just people go for the people who have the same identities as parental figures they grew up with.
@@singingkid1412 No that's internalized racism but as far as white guys hitting up white guys he might have a point. I will say that are exceptions to this rule of poc attracted to white guys due to internalized racism. Foreign born adoptees from Africa, Haiti, or Asia for instance if raised in a white environment may desire that because that's all they know or what they like. I'm sure to other poc and white guys they'll either see that internalized racism or a annoying fetish but that's hardly a fair assessment of unique situations such as that. No one would judge a white adopte raised in black or other minority family if they preferred that minority over whites. Huge double standards all around.
Yeah this was probably too drunk and random, and THANK YOU EDITORS but even you couldn't spin gold out of bullshit. Arie Swanz presents much better, despite being a woman.
There's a difference between racism and preference. Racism is excluding a whole race, latino, asian, blacks, white etc etc........ preference is, for example; excluding Koreans in the Asian race.
The issue here is the blatant insensitivity and racist tone of these 'preferences.' Look, I absolutely understand we all have preferences in life, even who we choose to date and are attracted to. However, why the unnecessary need for many in the gay community to be so blatant and cold about deliberately putting down other races in dating profiles? I don't see straight people on dating profiles being so obnoxious in saying they want to see only white profiles. You can have preferences and yet still treat others with respect and dignity. And the thing that sticks in my craw, is that the gay community will be the first to complain about racism against them in society. How can you expect society to respect you, if you don't respect others. Such hypocrisy.
What do you call guys the only date Latinos. ? bean eaters... LMAO. I am Spanish and White but look little Korean because I am tall and skinny and light skin yellows skin tone, with almond shape brown eyes and dark blond hair. I dislike when people are attractive to me because of my race. It should have to be about race or skin colors.
This is sad but true. I’m Latino here “masc” mid 20’s and I get racist remarks when I don’t reply. I don’t look like you would think stereotypical Mexican guy would look. Things happen here but I don’t let it get to me because I just can block.
Yup. Don't have issues with people having their own preferences; what we like and what we don't like. That's just how things works. HOWEVER, having said that, it's how you say it or how you put it out there that makes a difference. If you like Caucasian men for example, you can say "Caucasians to the front of the queue" as opposed to saying "No rice or spice". Or say, "Someone closer to my age group", as oppsed to, "No dads/oldies". Be more positive and say what you're after and not what you're not looking for. Like when you're at a job interview (I know..I know..an unrelated example), when being asked, you say what attracts you to the position opposed to what threw you off of it. We have far too much negativity and hate already, why add more to it? Just be nicer and kinder to one another people!
Wow, the asian guy reminds me of someone I dated who I really liked, except he was half-latino, not asian. He has the same cute mannerisms (smile, the way he moved his eyes) and similar voice and body type. God, I miss him. He moved away. But I would date the asian guy for sure. He's very beautiful, physically and spiritually.
The other way around, if you use an Asian dating app such as Blued as a white guy(particularly if you dont look feminine or if your profile says vers or top... all you get is messages saying 'how big?'. 'you big?'.
The thing that upsets me is that i might see some very very beautiful guys in apps like this but actually most of them are feminine and that is disappointing cause i don't like feminine at all
2:26 an excellent question. I think dating apps or hook ups should have some kind of visual qualification test to be allowed to sign up for the app. Not to avoid including certain people but to protect them from others people's prejudice and preserve there mental health. I know it sounds vaguely like segregation but seriously some if these apps encourage the worst kinds of behaviors and it's toxic.
“I don’t want a hug, Im an old witch.” I feel that on a personal level
Asian men should become dick21cm, be alpha white, and Korean should be the official language to eliminate Asian discrimination
Hi bottom boi tall thin smooth regulare guy
*Pretends to be shocked*
Trying to talk to guys on grindr is effort unless you are stunningly attractive or have a body pic on display that looks like you go to the gym 8 days a week.
I take it you don't understand irony/sarcasm?
Lol sucks to suck get in the gym lazy soyboy
BiggityBoggityBoo that is the bottom line they white people set for us and nope i am not a bottom, so thank you
KarlEuro89 that is very fucked up
Interviewer: do you find the term “rice queen” offensive?
Gay white cis male: no I don’t.
Me: 🤦🏽♂️🙄😑 go figure.
What does rice queen mean?
Kawaii Panda people who specifically obsessed to Asian guys only and usually think that we are bottom. Only
Kawaii Panda Kinda like Yellow Fever, except Yellow Fever refers to you are attracted to people originated from East Asia countries. So China, Japan and South Korea, Taiwan, etc
@@detroit7543 oh
Although this is not one of the reason why I wouldn't date a white man, it should be for anyone else looking at this video. The question must continue to be raised, are white men (people) sincere? Can they be outside their skin color of privilege? That is not a difficult question for me to answer personally, but unfortunately, it is for the majority of you. Besides, I'm not even attractive to them to even consider them. But this would be a game changer FOR REAL!
This was so exhausting as a gay asian lmao. Also, create longer videos in this series! Get more in depth/add layers. The format is still cute tho. (But also hire me)
Matt Carandang lol right?
i put "if its white its not right" on my dating apps, and you should hear the white boys moan like Myrtle.
gisforgary I’m living for this comment
Okay so like @intomore hire me lmao
But asian gays be like "No blacks"
LOL the ending kinda ruined it, of course you're not everyones cup of tea, no one is. The problem is not being someones cup of tea due to racial stereotypes that dehumanize you. That can be very mentally damaging.
Do I have to pretend to be shocked or not?
Exactly!
U look cute..
As a human being disregarding the race, there’s always a time of our life where we get lonely and we subconsciously want another human being to make us feel special romantically. It’s a human instinct. So I went on social networking sites including grindr. But I realise that people from places like these are likely just there to smash. As an asian guy It was very difficult to catch someone’s attention in these places. At first it bothers me.
But i realised that I just need to go out more. Well, not in clubs .. but travel and what not.. Meet new people in person. For me That’s the fastest way for people to be interested in who you are..is in person.
I like this vid tho. It’s like a trip back to memory lane.
dating in general for asian guys is hard. i was surprised that asian dude got 20 people messaging him? i would be lucky to have even 5. and the fact that you have to try hard to the point where you feel like you gotta work for a response is so accurate. it's so exhausting and it absolutely messes with your self esteem
As a blk guy, I can relate.
I thought this asian dude was better looking than this white guy...
According to the grindr ecosystem... Even if the white guy was twice as old, twice as bald, twice as heavy... He'd still be considered more attractive
1:30 that's the wake-up moment
This was not even exaggerated. But they are just more numerous, it's not like every person of colour is chasing white men, or accepts and puts up with this hierarchy, in the, sometimes, rather vile space of an hookup app. If you are fairly reasonable and don't share this fixed "preference" of ethnicity, encountering it should turn you right off. I'm black and I know some black guys who exclusive look for other black guys because they don't want to deal with this "preference" that discriminates against them - so in a way it can be sort of contagious.
so your preferences is everything but your own?
+lupinranger forever Utter nonsense. You shouldn't be proud of that in the least, let alone boasting about it.
I don't want to call it self-hatred (cliche), but it is still odd and very telling, when a gay black man has ultimately decided he prefers anyone but other black men. Must be very difficult to date.
+Pocket Full of Fun
I upvoted, but I can't agree with that entirely, on the "gay" side of things against black people.
A lot of Asian males don't even give each other any consideration, let alone any other non-Caucasians. Most of their pairings are interracial, compared to black American males and diasporans of Carribean/continental African nationalities, that probably fall in the middle in terms of "loyalty".
The only minority group of "gay" males that seek each other reliably, are Mestizo Latinos (Mixed White & Indig.) I am specific regarding Mestizos, as "Latino" is just an ethnicity, when plenty of them can be of African descent, indig., or white European/Mediterranean Asian. Most are mixed of varying levels of Euro and indigenous American and the typical Latino, is Mestizo.
I say this also, as it does annoy me how some Latinos that are white and mingle fluidly with Anglo Americans**, are so quick to pretend it is a big deal, as if it constitutes an interracial relationship (see I Love Lucy). Being no different than a Nigerian and black American being in a relationship, from different cultures.
I attribute dysfunction, to the fact gay black American males don't really have a home onto themselves, away from the "mainstream LGBT". A place to let their head and guard down. Because of this, it has terribly manifested into the messy psychological disaster things are today.
The "It gets better" movement has turned into something of credibility for white or "whitish" LGBT teens, because of social structure they can fit into in certain gay-friendly enclaves, as young adults post-secondary school.
Other than Atlanta or maybe some pockets of metropolitan areas within the USA, where do gay black people have a stable home to be themselves? It is not fair to many of them, that Austin, Castro, SF, Chicago, NYC, Boston, Dallas, Houston, West Hollywood and Miami are not as accommodating as Atlanta, thanks to varying forms of racism from both Latinos and Anglo-Americans**.
In order to even fit in and chase "It Gets Better", many young black teens have to erase their identity in some senses and become a token or a comic foil.
**(American "mainstream" culture, is unfortunately what I call "Anglo-American". Where other white immigrants from parts of Africa, Asia and mostly Europe (and their descendants) over the centuries, have slowly assimilated into Anglo American culture set by descendants of English colonists (and erased their own), to be simply called "white" and benefit from its privilege.)
+lupinranger forever Do you ever wonder why it ended up like that for you? Your socialization put you in this position? There have been times I have wondered that about myself. I looked deep inside and "saved" myself from turning out that way, in my early 20s. I checked myself and undid any societal brainwashing, to see the beauty within my ethnicity and assigned racial classification.
I learned that, it wasn't so much I didn't find others attractive, but unequal preferences.
But in reality, there are way too many other young black men who refuse to do the same (check yourself) and instead create a bad cycle, where they are not even an option for another black man to be with, because of societal brainwashing holding them back. This happens way too often regarding gifted or high-achieving black males, to the detriment of fellow black men and to the benefit of their white/non-black partners.
I understand why you are the way you are, but hope you can find happiness and avoid prejudice. If not, learn to see the beauty in some members of your race, in this toxic society.
Honestly, I find the asian guy to be more attractive. He's adorable and has a playful attitude. Idk why people have to make rude comments or just mess with POC just for a fetish and not because of a genuine interest in the person... Then again they're using an app for hooking up. *shrugs*
Agreed, he seemed like a total catch.
Kai Decadence Idk what it is about west coast dating... It seems difficult. Honestly I'd love just to go grab a coffee with the asian guy. He reminds me of a guy I went on a couple of dates with in Georgia.
I don't understand it either but it's just the way things are no matter where you are.
Believe it or not southerners aren't that bad and vicious. I looked around and didn't see a lot of no fems, (unless the dude was in the closet) there were some no fat, and I hardly saw no black and asian... Unless you're in Nola which was kind of weird. You'd think they were more open and accepting.
That's surprising to hear lol Yeah, out of all the places, you'd think it would be the south that would be the worst but I still would rather not be there because I do look out of the norm and I'd rather not get assaulted lol
as asians we just need to be out there and breaking stereotypes. Apps suck, meet in real life.
Honestly the only time I get a lot of messages is if I have a blank profile with no race listed. Then if I change the race to black no messages at all, if I am talking to somebody and they find out I’m black they block or stop responding. If I have my picture up they either ignore me or only hit me up to fetishize me. There are never any conversations just ass pix the message “are you hung”. It’s a terrible experience, if I go to bars I get ignored there too. Being ostracized is a normal life.
This is so sad yet so true.
Come to Scandinavia they LOVE black men
same
Yes sadly, I can relate to this as well. It is reality for a lot of black guys, but other folks of color too and it's sad. We as gay people are oppressed and then you have other in the community doing more oppression. Unfortunately, we grew up in a racist world so even gay people these biases that present as simply discrimination and it's a problem!
I wish you’d demonstrate how difficult it is as a black guy on Grindr
Henry VanSlyke That’s when the REAL tea will be spilled.
I suppose it is, but it always goes both ways. As a white guy, I really have no preference, but really do enjoy the company of black men. No, not the BBC thing- but because I find many of them very attractive... so in messaging them... then I get the "demands" " preferences", "ignoring", " and attitudes... No doubt, I'm sure that black men may find it more difficult- but that may not be a bad thing.
then maybe don’t use Grindr??????
Carly Maddison No bitch, they should be able to use any messaging app without discrimination.
It's more difficult to be an Asian than black man, IMO
I love the host!!! Amazing
It is what it is. Us asian guys need our own App.
Su Hugo i think most Asian are using jack’d
Blue
Blued
Lots of Black guys are on there too. I heard that Jack'd was more for the Minority groups while Grindr is more beneficial for white guys.
SERIOUSLY! haha
I'd be down for a fat and skinny version of this. As a fat person myself I can definitely say that it can get frustrating.
yuzaku99 fat boys popular in gay in the gay community. I am fat too lol
but that's your fault if you're fat (unless you have some serious health condition). you don't really get to choose your race.
yuzaku99 being fat is your choice unless you have a disability.. I can't wake up one day and choose not to be black anymore. But you can choose to go jog 🙃
Well at least in my area (small town in Germany) I'm not really very "liked" by other gays in a sexual way so I don't really know how it is in other bigger cities/countries . Also, I might "choose" to be fat but discrimination by others just as well is a choice. This is also the whole point about body positivity. It's not saying "being fat is healthy and all of you should just go out and get fat", the message, to me at least, is much rather to try and cut down on the discrimination by others and the stereotypes that are put on fat people.
I wanna also add that people shouldn't be cast out or less liked simply because they don't have a perfect body imo. Btw this is not an attack towards anyone and I'm not trying to start a fight or anything, just wanna get my opinion out without offending anyone 😅
This is so relatable... especially the "are you into Asians?" I found myself having to do that way too often 😓
You shouldn't have to do that. Just say hi and see what happens. :)
Haha, i feel so stupid to even think about it, never again
Would love to see a blk/white version of this
Oh look, the two main groups that say "no blacks"
1:35 I'll make him pregnant.
Houari FittVevo butt babies don’t live!
GRINDR HAS SO MANY WIERD OR ANNOYING PEOPLE ON IT
I can confirm that as one of them.
You have some guys that say “ no blacks , only whites “ vice versa . There’s nothing wrong with a preference but if you don’t date a person because because of their skin color , I think that’s when it becomes an issue .
I think it's because oftentimes, it's not always only skin color but facial features to.
Other way around I think. It's fine if it is because of skin tone but not because of race. Skin tone is an individual feature while race is not.
No trust me, it really is facial features on the by. Yeah skin color is one but I've asked bluntly on certain gay boards about why they aren't attracted to black guy and I've gotten plenty of answers that back it up. They don't like broad noses or full thick lips or certain brow structure.
+Kai Decadence Odd because most people usually define race as nothing more than just skin tone. And I have tried the same thing on Grindr and other chat groups but the majority of responses I got was either "I don't know" or just simply evaded the question or refused to answer. The only time I actually did get an answer was just related to skin tone.
+Kai Decadence Have you also gotten stereotypes in your inquisition?
Sometimes i wished we could just get rid of some people, like we all know this is a problem, but people will try so hard to defend it. The white messaged 18+ people barely got any replies. And he had to start asking people if they are into asians. Like wtf, how is that okay?
It's just the way it is depending on location unfortunately.
Los Angeles
I just wish everyone could love everyone. No preferences, no discrimination. Just love.
I wish everyone was dead.
"no preferences"? And preferences are discrimination? Geez, those leftists had their brain stuck with the infinite acronym of the lgbt community
goliaboi oh shut
0-100
lupinranger forever lol I hope you have a nice day sweetheart ❤️
That’s too much like right.
Thank God somebody did this video because this is a real big issue in the gay community or the LGBT community we have to stop judging each other and just see each other for Who We Are just saying hello doesn't hurt
All my cute, handsome, fierce, colored, coco butter, sun kiss tan fellas get on the Blued app. 💙
"It is my responsibility as a white person to understand ... " Ladies and Homosexuals, I am shook!
Lol. Like If for he being white just makes him in top of the pyramid to resolve other gay guys problems.
Psst
Hot rainbow haired pixie boy
(The asian one)
You are beautiful and so is your smile😊
Please date me✨
exactly what I was thinking! too bad Michigan's not anywhere close to West Hollywood *lol :-p
I had a pictureless profile w white as race, I couldn't even keep up with so many messages. Had to delete it. White=desirable, other=meh, no surprise
I’ve tested it too after having suspected for a long time. It turns out that they prefer faceless profiles than PoC.
I tried that same experience when I was single like 5 years ago and when I tell you I could NOT keep up with all the messages. At that point I realized how prejudice the community is. This is the order of most of the communities preferences: 1)White American men. 2) White latinos. 3) Fair skinned Asians. 4) Mixed latinos because they speak Spanish and a lot of people will consider them just “Latino” and not mixed. 5)Mixed Americans. 6)Black American men, dark skinned Asians, Black latinos basically anyone with a skin completion darker than Morris Chestnut are the last on everyone’s list. A white guy that’s a 3 can get just as much men as a black man that’s a perfect 10. Basically someone who looks like Ed Sheeren gets just as much attention as a Michael B Jordan.
The US must be a very sick country try to be Black guy here in Scandinavia when you have to stop responding to an army of tall model looking blond blue eyed men who just wants their fair share of black D .....
Are we just gonna ignore the fact that this particular Asian guy is much more attractive than this particular white guy? 🤔
Buuut the asian guy is way WAY more attractive
1:36 YES.
*ASIAN MEN ARE BEAUTIFUL*
Manny Covers preach!
👍👍👍👍👍
iQsteR 😘
Manny Covers 😘😘😘
THEY ARE
the asian dude is cute af
Haha finally!
👍👍👍
I agree! Goodlooking
I can never understand why gay men (or really ANYONE) would be prejudiced against asians! I like almost everything about them
I feel this.. If only I can explain how it feels like an Asian..
Don get me wrong... I love being Asian.. But hooking up... 😭😭😭
“I don’t want to hug..I’m a witch” this coming from a guy dressed like Dorothy LOL
😂❤️😂
They're both so cute...but that Asian guy...HOTT DAMN!!
Challenge mode : be an Asian top . Doesn't matter what your body type is , you're not getting desirable results.
Challenge mode: Don't be white.
I'm asian, but I find black dudes more attractiv :/
You're definitely a unicorn haha Because I find it very rare for Asians to be into Black guys to be honest lol
Did this with my white friend months ago and had a similar experience. I just accepted the situation. You just appreciate the guys that message you lol Oh well! 🤷🏻♂️
I’m a good looking young muscular asian and live in a small town not desired at all but when I go to the Bay Area I cannot keep up with my messages it really depends on the location and what they prefer in that area I feel like
True!!! I think people in the bay area are more open mind, or they just hornier
Same thing in Los Angeles. Strange that I do meet more in San Francisco. Hrm...
It's fine to have preferences and to be attracted to features of one race more than another and that isn't racist in and of itself. I think it becomes and issue when you just make a blanket statement and straight up won't even consider someone solely because of their race. There's a difference between not being attracted to some BECAUSE of their race and not being attracted to someone because you don't find their specific, individual physical features attractive, which may or may not be features common within their race. Preferences are fine, but in the end, attraction should be a case-by-case thing, not a blanket, unwavering wall.
p.s. I am a gay Asian American, but I don't care too much about the whole "no Asians" preference on a personal level. While it'd be great for that not to be a thing and it might limit the dating pool a bit, I'm not going to pressure someone into changing because quite frankly if they were in the mindset of "no Asians" I probably wouldn't want to be with them anyways even if society pressured them to open up. I want to be with someone who was into me from the start. I'm simply giving my two cents on the whole issue because I know other people do care about it
is there a black / white version on this LML
Doesn't seem like it but if they do, I think they should add a twist. Make the black guy a bottom and let them see what kind of messages we typically have to deal with with the whole mandingo/bbc fantasy crap lol
Kai Decadence xD
+Self Proclaimed esper Hmm, don't you know it? I think that is big issue. I can't see myself topping someone, except in rare cases were the chemistry would feel right and one feels punished for it. Tops are more so "racist" than bottoms.
Nah, they wasn't trying to go that route. The T would've been too hot for the kids.
I got sick of people thinking they could insult me on my profile so I wrote no Rice Queens. I've even gotten to a point where I don't just reject if they're being rude, I lay down why I'm rejecting them.
Mervotron M too much effort when grindr already has a block button
Or people could not be assholes... Besides it amuses me watching them trying to justify their stupid comments to me
I don't understand grindr because I've had a lot of guys talking to me but it ended up being nothing, I guess it's that I don't want just sex... But when I want just sex and a little chat they're giving up on me so I don't really get it
I felt so sorry for the asian guy, and the white guy reading his Grindr :,,,( that was too much to handle
I can't believe that some names that people come up with to describe other people.
As a another gay guy, I tried to be subconscious of myself constantly. When I look at people online I have to ask myself am I being racist or am I being something else. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to communicate with them. I was just so nervous. I tried to actually Focus that their people and not something completely different. Everybody is a person and it doesn't matter what they look like it's what they they are as a person and their personality Not For What ethnicity is. I tried to keep in that in mind. And hope to meet other people and see where things will go.
Like the proposal of Marx for countering capitalism, why don't gay minorities do the same thing towards the dominating one, like let's revolutionize the idea of not dating white men, or at least not putting them on pedestals. Let's put on our dating apps: "Not into white men. Just preference".
Honestly, one can't judge someone from their PROFILE. and one shouldn't
I grew up with the white boy in this video! The last time I saw him was RANDOMLY at a bar in NY. That's life
I think there’s hot guys in all races! Why restrict yourself? Lol!
Shoot I'm a pretty attractive geek/black guy, light tan. I hardly get responses unless I'm an ass. Barely texting, hours to days to respond back, or online solely for sex without any nudes. It's really strange. When I do send more than one picture people think I'm fake or something I'm not. Who else?
I think racial preference is something people notice in themselves like “hey of all the guys I’ve msged/tapped most of them are X but I’m just looking for people I’m attracted to in general” as opposed to a discrimination where they actively avoid certain races or say they’re exclusively attracted to one race or view being attracted to any particular race as a fetish. And people might think they aren’t racist but if the only people they’re msging and tapping are white people exclusively then either there isn’t much diversity in their area or they might be tricking themselves. And you don’t have to be white too to have an exclusive, discriminatory bias like that either.
"What The Flip?" needs to be longer! Love it!
“I don’t want a hug, I’m an old witch.” Me asf 😂😂😭😭😭
Just to experiment I deleted my pix and just had my race as white on grindr and I got more messages than I ever did as the person of color I really am. I guess white men are white men regardless of sexuality
So I jumped when the Grindr notification went off thinking it’s my phone. Nope, just the video 😂
Omg y’all know the priest of of year one with jack black that’s exactly who he reminds me of
Why rule out a whole group of men based solely on a perception of the characteristics of their race? If it's not racism, then it's the definition of stereotyping, at the very least. Regardless of good or bad experiences with men of a particular race, closing your mind to other experiences and possibilities is never a good result. Is it so hard to see the person beyond just their physical and cultural attributes? Apparently yes. It would be great to hear more from psychologists and sociologists on the 'laws' of homosexual attraction in the modern Grindrised gay culture. Does anyone have any reading tips?
And that's the annoying thing about pigeon-holing when it comes to race. Not all Asian guys are "nelly bottoms" and not all black guys are "dom BBC tops". The moment people start applying these stereotypes to a whole group is when it gets annoying as hell.
Ugh why is there discrimination in the gay community too!?!? Dick Is dick its just the length that is different right😂
I love the different colors in the hair
It’s ok to have a preference. knowing what you like is good. However, it’s also important to keep in mind these are people you are going after. They have complex personalities, liked, dislikes, hopes, dreams, fears, and so on. They are not just that preference alone.
This is very relateble to me
Sometimes I consider at least trying out Grindr, then I wonder if it'd be at all worth the trouble?
you'll never find out til you try! xoxoxo
The editing is so out of whack in these videos. Just 3 minutes of jumping back and forth every 2 seconds between random interviews. No flow at all. Annoying because the content and topics are usually really interesting
Don't know why people put themselves through that grinder shit...its all bullshit, get out there and meet people face to face.
Stop seeking validation from a text...
WOW. So insightful, Grindr.
im so confused guys dont like asians? wtf why?
Why do people even bother using this gross app ? 🙄
I get more messages as an Asian girl than an Asian guy on Tinder 😋😋😂😂 I never message people though because if they like me they'll message me, especially when I'm crossdressed as a girl on a gay app, I don't think I'm what most guys are looking for 😋😋😂😂 On Tinder is even more fun. But they discriminate trans and I had my profile banned 4-5 times already. So unacceptable.
Wait I saw you comment on the trans and GNC video. Are you trans or just a crossdresser? Sorry, just a little confused lol
Only here for the guys hair lol
The host MADE this video worth watching
there’s no masculine man in this video
Omg I love the host Amazng!
The discrimination even in the minority
App dating is soul sucking.
As a white guy living in Japan, I see so so many ‘Asian only’ profiles.
I feel like this happens with the majority in whatever country you got to. It just so happens that people are more tuned on to this issue now in America.
Japan is pretty homogeneous so I'm surprised they even have to say that.
Thank you for that #Whitesplaining (Jesus, the depths of denial every fucken White guy will come up with at times)
As someone who lives there, it's different in Asian countries like Japan. Most guys there are looking for LTR not hookups and 99% of the non-Asian profiles are just tourists so writing Asian-only eliminates most of the tourists. Even as an Asian, many guys will stop talking to you if they think you're just after a hookup.
people tend to message guys who look like their father figures growing up. the problem isn't racism, its just people go for the people who have the same identities as parental figures they grew up with.
And loads of POC hitting up white guys because their fathers look white I suppose?
@@singingkid1412 No that's internalized racism but as far as white guys hitting up white guys he might have a point. I will say that are exceptions to this rule of poc attracted to white guys due to internalized racism. Foreign born adoptees from Africa, Haiti, or Asia for instance if raised in a white environment may desire that because that's all they know or what they like. I'm sure to other poc and white guys they'll either see that internalized racism or a annoying fetish but that's hardly a fair assessment of unique situations such as that. No one would judge a white adopte raised in black or other minority family if they preferred that minority over whites. Huge double standards all around.
Yeah this was probably too drunk and random, and THANK YOU EDITORS but even you couldn't spin gold out of bullshit.
Arie Swanz presents much better, despite being a woman.
There's a difference between racism and preference. Racism is excluding a whole race, latino, asian, blacks, white etc etc........ preference is, for example; excluding Koreans in the Asian race.
They should make one with a Latino.
With Latinos I think we all know if he's cute he'll get a lot of messages by all races. But if he's not cute good luck with that.
The issue here is the blatant insensitivity and racist tone of these 'preferences.' Look, I absolutely understand we all have preferences in life, even who we choose to date and are attracted to. However, why the unnecessary need for many in the gay community to be so blatant and cold about deliberately putting down other races in dating profiles? I don't see straight people on dating profiles being so obnoxious in saying they want to see only white profiles. You can have preferences and yet still treat others with respect and dignity. And the thing that sticks in my craw, is that the gay community will be the first to complain about racism against them in society. How can you expect society to respect you, if you don't respect others. Such hypocrisy.
This is silly. The Asian guy is really cute/good looking. The white guy is meh.
What do you call guys the only date Latinos.
? bean eaters... LMAO. I am Spanish and White but look little Korean because I am tall and skinny and light skin yellows skin tone, with almond shape brown eyes and dark blond hair. I dislike when people are attractive to me because of my race. It should have to be about race or skin colors.
This is sad but true. I’m Latino here “masc” mid 20’s and I get racist remarks when I don’t reply. I don’t look like you would think stereotypical Mexican guy would look. Things happen here but I don’t let it get to me because I just can block.
I don't understand why all the hoopla about gay men. I couldn't tell if they were gay just by the way they talked.
These people act up like they never made fake grindr profiles and catfished people.......
Yup. Don't have issues with people having their own preferences; what we like and what we don't like. That's just how things works.
HOWEVER, having said that, it's how you say it or how you put it out there that makes a difference. If you like Caucasian men for example, you can say "Caucasians to the front of the queue" as opposed to saying "No rice or spice". Or say, "Someone closer to my age group", as oppsed to, "No dads/oldies".
Be more positive and say what you're after and not what you're not looking for. Like when you're at a job interview (I know..I know..an unrelated example), when being asked, you say what attracts you to the position opposed to what threw you off of it.
We have far too much negativity and hate already, why add more to it? Just be nicer and kinder to one another people!
It’s so confusing to me we lgbtq+ people have been discriminated against like a lot yet theirs still shit like this it honestly confuses me
Wow, the asian guy reminds me of someone I dated who I really liked, except he was half-latino, not asian. He has the same cute mannerisms (smile, the way he moved his eyes) and similar voice and body type. God, I miss him. He moved away. But I would date the asian guy for sure. He's very beautiful, physically and spiritually.
This one actually is a fair switch cuz both of these guys are on the same level of attractiveness.
Samuel115s no.
They actually are. I think both are pretty unattractive personally
The white guy is not attractive imo but the asian guy is decent looking
Sam Demetrios the white guy looks fine. The Asian one just looks too normal
Khánh Nguyễn Simply just a difference in preference :P
The other way around, if you use an Asian dating app such as Blued as a white guy(particularly if you dont look feminine or if your profile says vers or top... all you get is messages saying 'how big?'. 'you big?'.
I see it all the time, the potato queens, the rice queens, the sticky rice and the racists.
The thing that upsets me is that i might see some very very beautiful guys in apps like this but actually most of them are feminine and that is disappointing cause i don't like feminine at all
I love this series and I need more!!!!
2:26 an excellent question. I think dating apps or hook ups should have some kind of visual qualification test to be allowed to sign up for the app. Not to avoid including certain people but to protect them from others people's prejudice and preserve there mental health. I know it sounds vaguely like segregation but seriously some if these apps encourage the worst kinds of behaviors and it's toxic.
i dont have grindr nor will I ever download it. That app is a menace!