Hey y'all thanks for watching! Every episode we promote a support fund for a trans person in need and this weeks fund is for Robin Tran, she needs help getting to some of her next comedy gigs to make her career! Check out how to support her: instagram.com/p/CVVxBl8vruM/
Great video! please speak on ashlee marie prestons tweets this is very concerning and i am worried for her and those around her as a part of the asian/lgbtq+ community myself.
ryan is like a puppy, whenever brennen says something and asks for a response, and ryan has to think for a second before replying with something relating to the topic, like when he said “dave chappelle bad!” i fully expected brennen to be like, “very good ryan! who’s a good boy?” JSJAHSIWVZ
the part where brennen was talking about parents hearing transphobic comments and thinking "what about my kid" is *exactly* why my mom was so scared about me coming out/transitioning and why every time i go out by myself she worries about my safety even though i'm an adult. i wish people could realize that it's not just trans people that know/speak out on the dangers of that kind of rhetoric
Exactly! My mother figure doesn’t feel comfortable with me traveling back to my country because of the political climate. She wants me to wait till my legal documents have been changed so I won’t have any issues. The fear isn’t unwarranted, but media like this contributes to the stigma and fear.
same, im the youngest child and i feel like my parents are more protective of me bc im trans, this really is a thing that doesn't worry only us but our close ones
Ryan is like watching my adhd play out irl (I don’t know if he is adhd or not, and I’m not out here tryna diagnose him). Literally trying to follow along to what Brennen is saying and then going “but the noise in the background” is just so relatable
this really affects me because when I came out at age 12, my dad did not accept me and thought it was simply a phase and never talked about it again until I brought it back up at age 15. He told me that he simply did not want to accept it because he was very worried about what I would have to go through if I was trans. This is the kind of media that made my father treat me as a female for many years in fear.
@@singingchef23 I understand what you mean, but they are not blaming their father's treatment of them on a single comedy show. Popculture as a whole is a culmination of various forms of media. We have been shown time and time again that media affects how society perceives everyone (especially) marginalized individuals. Dave Chappelle's little routine is only a contributing factor to what is quite literally years of transphobic rhetoric in media. Rhetoric that has molded the way people view us. We don't live in a vacuum. Yes, Bigotry exists outside of the internet, or TV. But at the same time it is influenced by those things.
@@GayDracula_ media, fiction, and reality all exist in a tandem, i believe. one will inevitably inform the other and one can only evolve when the others also evolve. i kinda wish more people would understand and accept that. particularly before taking an extreme stance on "death to the author" or "authorial intent"-if i may use fiction critique terms.
It was the “this doesn’t just affect trans people but the people who love trans people” and the “it affected trans kids who’s parents won’t accept them due to the backlash they’d get” fucking bawling my eyes out
Shout out to my older sister who has been doing her best to explain why the special was harmful to trans people to my family! She’s my biggest ally love her lots!
It's weird that Netflix says the screen content doesn't affect the real world when there's a literal documentary on there about the effect the media has on trans people.
the part where y’all were talking about it affecting parents got me😫in high school my mom who was not conservative by any means would get really weird when i tried to present more masc, and i assumed she was just more bigoted than she let on. as i got older i talked to her and she essentially told me she was worried for my safety. i never really told her about what i dealt with at school but she definitely knew. i’ll never forget her reaction the first time she witnessed me facing direct homophobia/transphobia irl. i was well used to it and barely flinched, but she was soo upset. seeing your family and friends upset by bigotry and fear for you hurts almost more than the bigotry itself.
“It affected me, it’s quite personal actually, but I just ended a long-term relationship. …Oh, don’t worry, it wasn’t mine. It was my parents’”. LMAOOOO OH MY GOD MOE!
i talked to my mum about this. she’s been a fan for ages and was laughing at someone the transphobic jokes. i said it was pretty pathetic of a big comedian to be effectively “punching down” and i referenced james acaster who’s called out transphobic comedians himself in his standup. (i also accused Dave Chapelle of doing this for attention and she argued hes been around for ages and doesn’t need to do that for his career) anyway, she ended up saying “i think trans people have bigger things to worry about like what the government is doing not a comedian”. i replied with “well of course those are important issues, but like you said he’s been around of ages being a huge comedian, this Netflix special will reach heaps of people just like bo burnham’s did. everyday people will watch this and feel as though their transphobia is justified. those are the people that trans people are interacting with everyday, they have to think ‘is this person okay or do they want to hurt me?’ so i think what Chapelle has to say does have a significant bearing. i know people have changed their thoughts about gay people from watching sympathetic portrayals of gay people, i know media and representation is important to combatting stigma and transphobia…” and she said “hmmmm” and went on her phone. THEN the next day she said “i was thinking about what you said and you’re right” i said “right about what?” and she said “the trans thing” so NICE
You’re so strong for putting in all that effort to convince one person. Although I know it’s barely a choice because I’m constantly fighting for myself too. It’s so unfair.
@@neothepenguin1257 thank you. she’s always been supportive of trans people before but obviously there’s still stuff to work through. im glad she’s open minded and that im able to have discussions like this with her.
@@civildiscourse7626 so trans people face discrimination on the daily, whether that’s harassment, violence or bullying. we’re already vilified and ostracised for our existence. trans women in particular are targeted by transphobia both on the street and systematically. so for such a notorious and critically acclaimed comedian like dave chappelle to says he’s “team terf” and that trans women don’t have “real pussys” is just saddening and kicking someone when they’re down. chappelle has used his comedy to discuss racism and other such topics so it’s just disappointing to see him use his name and platform for what is effectively hate. i hope that explains
@@civildiscourse7626 it essentially means targeting someone weaker than you. can also apply to groups of people, not just individuals. because you're stronger than them and it's unlikely that you'll lose against them, you're "punching down." the strength doesn't always have to be physical power. it can also be fame, wealth, social status, or even social media followers number in this day and age.
Not-so-fun Fun-fact: the term dead name originates from the 80's. When you got close to someone you would let them know that if they ever saw that name in the obituaries it was actually you who had passed. Since that name would be the name we are publicly called in death, we call it a dead name.
Ngl, that's something I'd often think about; If I passed on, would people solely know me as my deadname? Would my actual identity be ignored/erased from my legacy once I'm gone? The fact that the term originated from that kind of issue is kinda sucky, ngl.
As a black trans guy I've reached that part of my transition where the "shy trans hatchling who doesn't want to be a burden for everyone" has transformed into a more assertive and quite angry fledgeling that is quite over a lot of nonsense us trans people have to deal with. I am tired of constantly walking on egg shells around cis people, saying "it's fine" over and over when they put in just the minimum effort to get my pronouns right, I am tired of them acting like they are doing me a favour by using my chosen name and pronouns, I am tired of invasive questions, I am tired of their unwillingness to put in the work to educate themselves even though I have provided book and website recommendations to take some of that emotional and educational labour off my shoulders, I am tired of being told that I am "brave" for transitioning (which, to me, was the last option left if I wanted to have a slim chance of finally being able to breathe), only to be misgendered by the same person moments later. I am tired of having to be patient and understanding of people who act like calling me he instead of she is an incredible difficult task, I am tired of dealing with TERF rhetoric in my own family and being told not to make my transness into my biggest life topic. My dysphoria is bad, unbelievably bad, it engulfes a vast portion of my life, along with what I suspect to be neurodiversity of some sorts, and it has pushed me to the brink of not being here anymore twice, caused an eating disorder and many other things, yet these people are out there telling me this "topic" shouldn't be important to me. And most importantly, I am tired of my identity - and that of many others like me - being used as a punchline by wealthy people who have never spent a day in our shoes, who don't know what it's like because they never bother to learn. I am over seeing headlines about CEOs pedalling back because their endorsement of transphobia led to a hit to their finances. I am tired, I am angry and I am hurting for the people who are younger and/or more vulnerable than me. I still have the energy to be angry. Many others do not because they are fighting for their lives and happiness every single day and when they turn on the TV they see people laughing about them. On deadnames, I call mine a deadname because a lot of abvse and repression is connected to it in my mind. I only call it a birthname if the person I'm talking to isn't vell versed in trans lingo or I don't want to immediately out myself.
As you are a transgender guy. What’s your thoughts on this Dave quote: “I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?” You see yourself as a transgender man which by definition is different than a biological man.. If someone appeases to your demands and says the pronouns u like and states the gender you assign to yourself & the name you assign to yourself . Do they also Have to believe in it too? They just can’t say it and also not believe it??? Is all of society obligated to agree with you even if they were to commit NO actions that impede or infringe on your existence ? In your mind is there no room for those who just disagree ….they are not uninformed or uneducated they just simply disagree . They don’t want to see you dead or beaten or rights taken away or jobs taken away…they simply disagree with the notion that the trans community is saying SEX is NOT a fact. Men & women are just interchangeable vessels With their differences only being in their self-perception of themselves and Nothing At all biologically.
@saule I posted a long comment explaining intersex & males not being able to give birth. As society when man is stated it is 99.9% know that they are referring to a biological male. Also posted three articles about the trans community views on sex which many disagree on. But the channel here deleted it. It sucks that on RUclips some creators like to disappear comments they don’t want their audience to see
@saule tried to reply With some points But alas again this channel loves to delete comments that make great points with substance & articles that back it up. Just people who live in a bubble and circle jerk each other cause they hate hearing Dissenting statements that are backed by science. Good convo though 👍🏾
Good comedy punches up not down imo. Punching up is about challenging a system. Punching down is lazy and, honestly, mean spirited. Its also more likely to fuel hatred and ignorance because punching down often involves mocking a group that isn't well represented and that misinformation is rampant about.
Great episode. The more I read about this whole situation, the more it looks like Dave Chappelle knowingly threw the most vulnerable members of his own community under the bus so he could ride the controversy. I do think part of it is his own transphobia and stubborn unwillingness to engage with the people who need to be heard. Something in him is deeply threatened by queer people--maybe time will reveal why, but I'm not hopeful on that front. What does make me hopeful is the strength of the Netflix employees behind the walkout. At the very least, it's stared a very important public conversation.
i forgot which video, but am pretty sure F.D. Signifier has made a video concerning black men's masculinity and why/how they have a unique complicated relationship with lgbtq+ issues. i think Khadija Mbowe also had him as a guest in their video about Lil Nas X about similar topic.
The part where B Pagels-Minor talked about being an elder trans person because they’re 35 made me tear up. It hurts so bad to think about the fact that I’m only 16 and the average life expectancy for trans people is 30, which means I’m middle aged for the average trans person.
Me too. I came out last year, at 30, and I felt like an old man, like it was too late for me, even though that isn't the case at all. When I heard B Pagels-Minor talk, I finally understood why. Of course life isn't over for me, it's only just begun, but as a trans person I am well aware of the many moments in my life where my story could have ended. That speech was powerful and I'm glad it was featured on the podcast. However, I also took hope from it. You and me, we are still here despite everything. We can be happy, we can live our truth.
@@Itri_Vega dude that’s so wonderful to hear! I wish you well in your transition and I hope that you live a long and prosperous life and become an actual elder trans person in your old age :)
Wow ! very cool and good episode from very cool and good humans. must say, the person you reacted to at 57:05 seconds was super duper funny, really had me in stitches.
i was very sad to see this issue because im not out to my family and being a black trans/queer person i have to hear these jokes. my family loves dave chappelle and ive constantly argued with them about their homophobia/ transphobia. one thing the black community has a hard time talking about is the intersections in the community and how us black queer people cant take off our “queer hat” for the sake of being “for black people”. our oppression is intersectional. all black lives matter. you can’t contribute to transphobia and expect us to be okay with it. also Kat Williams has explained before that if you HAVE to offend someone to be funny then how funny are you? i really appreciated that from him because dave is a good example of this. he’s simply going out of his way to offend a part of his community. he can be funny without doing this.
as a kid who basically came out loads and was told i needed to wait til i was older (was finally allowed to cut my hair a year ago at 18 and they've finally accepted it thank god) I heard so much casual transphobia and it made me want to not be alive from a young age because i knew inside that I was like these people they were talking abt
brennan, i want to thank you for doing the research and writing for today’s show. as you said it’s so draining and sad as trans/non-binary people to have to look into these kinds of topics. sending love and care to you, and ryan as well. thank you so much, you did a beautiful job of explaining everything during this first segment. 💖💖
Ok, i have something to add about the deadname thing. I'm trans nonbinary, and i still go by my birthname. I actually like my birthname, and it's connections to gender (at least that's how i feel right now). So it feels a bit weird, to me, personally, equating deadname with birthname for trans people, since my birthname isn't dead, and i am a trans person. I get what you mean by wanting to make cis people understand, but shouldn't it be more about making trans people comfortable? I don't really enjoy policing what people call their birth/dead name. Whichever they choose.
Its just so disappointing to see transphobia as a feature of a comedy routine. I find it extra hard that Chapelle is from a minority as a POC. Like all bigoted morons, nothing within will change until the culprits experience trans issues in their own lives, e.g. some relation coming out as trans.
Idk he was friends with a trans person who took her own life in 2019 and has just been using that to say he’s not transphobic. She was okay with his jokes so we have to be okay with it kinda thing. I so hope he changes but idk.
Thank you guys for doing this! Hearing you two speak about this so honestly was cathartic. It's ridiculous that we're expected to sit through transphobia and spend our time debating our existence as if it is a two-sided issue. Please don't drain yourselves by exposing yourselves to too much transphobic rhetoric for the podcast, even when it's spaced out. Personally I really love the parts where you focus on positive things within the community and the goofy bits! The water bottle fight from the first episode added several years to my life.
i've never really watched comedians, used to think it's not really my thing, but the ones you guys reacted to at the end had me gasping for air in laughter so i will definitely check them out! ♥️
“We’re probably gonna burn out too on brenemies” you guys?? Don’t have to talk abt transphobia all the time???? I would love to hear y’all talk about Just good trans news & Just trans creators u like every once in a while :) I think that would be delightful (Also I am a closeted nonbinary teen and I’m so tired of all the trans-based content I enjoy being centered around transphobia -_- Like it’s important to talk about for sure, but a bitch needs a little hope out here 💔) Edit: and 2 be clear I love the times where u talk abt trans creators & artists u like in this podcast, but I’m just saying tht more episodes tht are Just abt cool trans shit would be super awesome U‿U
Idk if this is a good thing lol but do know that there are cis guys like me watching and supporting your podcast ❤️❤️❤️ This whole DC situation sucks and I'm so willing to not give my money to Netflix for the next couple of months.
its ironic that the transphobic one is called closer but the one speaking about trans issues was called disclosure, also the point abt rainbow capitalism is so true fr
Thank you for this deep dive. Really appreciate it! I've been too exhausted to delve into it myself, so I appreciate being able to get so many thoughts from different sources, without having to shift through all the transphobia myself. Though the episode was long and on a heavy topic, you made it digestible and light hearted, whilst keeping it informative, respective and not shying away from the weight. Thank you for your work.! Hope y'all will submerge yourselves in selfcare. (also, ryan during this episode is my ADD spirit animal. heavy relate)
Loved this episode! Personally one of my favourite Netflix shows is The Babysitters Club which had a really lovely arc featuring Kai Shappley, a trans child actress and activist who was specifically sought out for the role.
(in regards to the rant at around 1 hour n 10 minutes) im so fucking blessed to be at a school where i have my name changed on the roster and most teachers dont even know my deadname because i would commit a felony if someone did what those teachers did to ryan
Everyone was talking about this so i (trans) sat down on my living room, so watch this, my mother (cis) was there on her computer, asked me what i was watching, i told her I was going to watch a comedy show to see if it was offensive ( i didn't explain further), mid show my mother that was still in the background on her computer, flips out , asking if he as nothing else to talk about, and if the show is going to be all about gay and trans people, after that my mother left the living room and only came back after the show was over, that shit triggered my mother and she is cisgender.
It really warms my queer little heart to see you guys doing so good and that ryan has grown so much. I was kind of an og stormryan fan (I'm talking reaaaal baby shit) and had to jump ship when the Dark Ages came around, but it made me really sad so this has been really hopeful and healing in a weird way. Love both of your commentary on things and ryan is absolutely important to the pod
I don't know if you have ever heard of James Acaster but he's a cis British comedian and he absolutely tears people like this apart. He's done a few jokes making fun of transphobic comedians and how they think they're so cool and edgy for their views and he's pretty great.
This reminded me of when I had an English teacher in high school who told me she doesn’t use “nickname” when I told her not to use my deadname and I had this teacher 2 or 3 times but once a guy that used to be transphobic towards me in middle school started yelling with me at the teacher saying my name is gabe/Gabriel and like other student who had her but wasn’t in my class would go up and bother her and I got sent to the principals office cuz of it but then they realized it was against the law cuz I live in CA
You’re defending someone who admitted on stage that they are transphobic. He said himself that he’s on the side of terfs, which are transphobic people. Idk where your confusion is coming from.
Loved the subjects u guys talk abt today. It really hurts how the hatred and desinformation that society has on the trans and the queer community affects the way everything works. Me living in Mexico makes it super hard because everything is so fucking damaging to minorities, from misoginy, to transphobia, to homophobia. And lets not talk abt the comedian and Stand-Up community, cause they r so fuuucking entitled when doing damaging jokes in the name of "Comedy", dude...it's tiring, if communities get upset, it's not a good fucking joke??? not being a fucking ass and -phobic is so easy, literally just not insult and attack someone else for EXISTING?? btw. 40:50 my fanart made it to the viddd tysmmm
I believe that there are some experiences you can’t fully understand unless you experience it yourself but I literally do not get how he doesn’t even sort of understand it
I think it might have been me whose tweet you were referencing early on about how calling Chappelle an old, washed up comedian is getting it wrong. First of all, thank you for including my voice among so many others who said it better and from a more informed place than I ever could. I do just want to clarify one thing: When I say that Chappelle isn't an old, washed-up comedian struggling for relevance, I don't just mean because of what he's done in the past, I mean because of what he's shown he's still capable of doing. Last year, in the wake of George Floyd's murder, he put out one of the best sets of his career. It was emotional, cathartic, informed, pointed, and when it needed to be, hilarious. What's really frustrating about his current transphobia is that he really doesn't need to. When he puts his mind to actually being his funny, insightful self, he can still do it as well as he ever could. Which means that his decision to lean into the transphobia and away from everything else is motivated by either laziness or genuine hatred. And either is pretty awful.
Honestly, I'm just tired of having to choose between my blackness and queerness all the time. The black community has so many issues with colorism, transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and ableism. I'm Afab, nonbinary, pansexual, and neurodivergent...
Someone please squash the levels between quiet and loud speakers. The clipping of the mic killed it for me and I'm tired of chasing the volume around to account for it. Pretty please with sugar on top, compress everything a bit more and lower the limit a little even.
Ngl content like this is what keeps me going, I'm a trans guy idk any trans ppl irl (who are out to me anyway) and I try to be stealth so things like this is what helps me feel less alone and isolated bcus ppl around me aren't that clued up on it and don't seem to care much and i hear all sorts of casually transphobic stuff all the time so yh the point these guys made about being in the minority of trans ppl who are willing to be open and speak up about this is true cos im not tryna get hate crimed fr
You two are so smart and adorable - after wading through a lot of gross discourse on this millionaire's mid-life-crisis 'special' it's super refreshing to find some actually relevant takes from some younger trans kids. Hope the trolls stay under the bridge Dave has yet to build though...
I like the point you made about people making Daphne’s death all about Dave. Her death was more than about Dave. Life sucked which caused her to die and people are making her death about a political agenda and more conflict and fighting instead of talking about how we can make life suck less
Not that I'm excusing the "it's just a joke!" crowd when it comes to jokes about marginalised groups, but there's something so obvious, and insidious, about a comedian who's jokes aren't JUST jokes and come from a genuine set of fucked up beliefs. Chapp-hel is clearly one of these people, and even if he hadn't publically aligned himself with Just Kidding Rowling and called himself a TERF, it would still be pretty clear.
I worked at a McDonald’s that posted my dead name on a board every week and my co workers started wondering who the random person on the list is who doesn’t work there because no one knew I was even trans except the manager. Made me so anxious, I ended up quitting because I kept overhearing transphobic comments.
The editing felt a little weird in this episode, especially when it kept getting really close up on Brennen’s face, and it was kinda distracting. I really appreciate what was said
I kind of want the LGBT community to buy out his entire show for his new special. Just so the entire show is just void of laughter and just emphasizes how his jokes just don't hit anymore.
Great episode. I first kind of heard this from Hannah Gatsby who replied to ted sarandos dragging them into it by trying to say Netflix was balanced because they had Dave Chappelle's comedy specials and Hannah's as well
I had a friend after saying I might stop using my Netflix account tell me I needed to watch the whole thing because it was actually a really good special and that he was not being serious. She doesn't get that somethings are not meant to be joked about.
Hey y'all thanks for watching! Every episode we promote a support fund for a trans person in need and this weeks fund is for Robin Tran, she needs help getting to some of her next comedy gigs to make her career! Check out how to support her: instagram.com/p/CVVxBl8vruM/
I'm down for 3 hour episodes everyday
Great video! please speak on ashlee marie prestons tweets this is very concerning and i am worried for her and those around her as a part of the asian/lgbtq+ community myself.
Sorry I disagree with you
That’s “old” celebrity has been on the earth longer then you. Show some respect and he don’t own you anything
@@jetnight88 tell me you didn't watch it without telling me you didn't watch it.
"I've never been charged with assault"
proud of you Ryan 🤧🤣
ryan is like a puppy, whenever brennen says something and asks for a response, and ryan has to think for a second before replying with something relating to the topic, like when he said “dave chappelle bad!” i fully expected brennen to be like, “very good ryan! who’s a good boy?” JSJAHSIWVZ
This. Esp when he was talking about his stick and poppit lmao
like a puppy?? no, that wasn’t him
the part where brennen was talking about parents hearing transphobic comments and thinking "what about my kid" is *exactly* why my mom was so scared about me coming out/transitioning and why every time i go out by myself she worries about my safety even though i'm an adult. i wish people could realize that it's not just trans people that know/speak out on the dangers of that kind of rhetoric
Exactly! My mother figure doesn’t feel comfortable with me traveling back to my country because of the political climate. She wants me to wait till my legal documents have been changed so I won’t have any issues. The fear isn’t unwarranted, but media like this contributes to the stigma and fear.
same, im the youngest child and i feel like my parents are more protective of me bc im trans, this really is a thing that doesn't worry only us but our close ones
I live in a pretty conservative-ish area, so my mom finds ways to use my pronouns and I’m proud of her for that.
As Mike Wazowski once said: "if you're gonna insult me, do it properly."
Ryan is like watching my adhd play out irl (I don’t know if he is adhd or not, and I’m not out here tryna diagnose him). Literally trying to follow along to what Brennen is saying and then going “but the noise in the background” is just so relatable
Absolutely. If I were on a podcast like this I’d need like 50 fidgets. Including a stick in case someone breaks in. You never know!
this really affects me because when I came out at age 12, my dad did not accept me and thought it was simply a phase and never talked about it again until I brought it back up at age 15. He told me that he simply did not want to accept it because he was very worried about what I would have to go through if I was trans. This is the kind of media that made my father treat me as a female for many years in fear.
@@singingchef23 I understand what you mean, but they are not blaming their father's treatment of them on a single comedy show.
Popculture as a whole is a culmination of various forms of media. We have been shown time and time again that media affects how society perceives everyone (especially) marginalized individuals.
Dave Chappelle's little routine is only a contributing factor to what is quite literally years of transphobic rhetoric in media. Rhetoric that has molded the way people view us.
We don't live in a vacuum.
Yes,
Bigotry exists outside of the internet, or TV.
But at the same time it is influenced by those things.
@@GayDracula_ media, fiction, and reality all exist in a tandem, i believe. one will inevitably inform the other and one can only evolve when the others also evolve.
i kinda wish more people would understand and accept that. particularly before taking an extreme stance on "death to the author" or "authorial intent"-if i may use fiction critique terms.
@@mophead_xu bro I like how you said that, so well phrased. I love when people drop random lowkey philosophical comments, you seem dope my dude
It was the “this doesn’t just affect trans people but the people who love trans people” and the “it affected trans kids who’s parents won’t accept them due to the backlash they’d get” fucking bawling my eyes out
Shout out to my older sister who has been doing her best to explain why the special was harmful to trans people to my family! She’s my biggest ally love her lots!
It's weird that Netflix says the screen content doesn't affect the real world when there's a literal documentary on there about the effect the media has on trans people.
"you need to clown on Dave Chappelle!" He does that without y'all's help tbh
"is Dave Chappelle an egg?" 😭😭😭
Love Moe but the jokes about looking young are hitting a little too close to home 😭
the part where y’all were talking about it affecting parents got me😫in high school my mom who was not conservative by any means would get really weird when i tried to present more masc, and i assumed she was just more bigoted than she let on. as i got older i talked to her and she essentially told me she was worried for my safety. i never really told her about what i dealt with at school but she definitely knew. i’ll never forget her reaction the first time she witnessed me facing direct homophobia/transphobia irl. i was well used to it and barely flinched, but she was soo upset. seeing your family and friends upset by bigotry and fear for you hurts almost more than the bigotry itself.
i’ve heard that from my parents before too and it makes me so sad even though i know they just want the best for me
Seeing brennen smiling always puts a smile on my face
😁
“It affected me, it’s quite personal actually, but I just ended a long-term relationship. …Oh, don’t worry, it wasn’t mine. It was my parents’”. LMAOOOO OH MY GOD MOE!
“Don’t laugh! See a therapist!” Lolol
i talked to my mum about this. she’s been a fan for ages and was laughing at someone the transphobic jokes. i said it was pretty pathetic of a big comedian to be effectively “punching down” and i referenced james acaster who’s called out transphobic comedians himself in his standup. (i also accused Dave Chapelle of doing this for attention and she argued hes been around for ages and doesn’t need to do that for his career) anyway, she ended up saying “i think trans people have bigger things to worry about like what the government is doing not a comedian”. i replied with “well of course those are important issues, but like you said he’s been around of ages being a huge comedian, this Netflix special will reach heaps of people just like bo burnham’s did. everyday people will watch this and feel as though their transphobia is justified. those are the people that trans people are interacting with everyday, they have to think ‘is this person okay or do they want to hurt me?’ so i think what Chapelle has to say does have a significant bearing. i know people have changed their thoughts about gay people from watching sympathetic portrayals of gay people, i know media and representation is important to combatting stigma and transphobia…” and she said “hmmmm” and went on her phone.
THEN the next day she said “i was thinking about what you said and you’re right” i said “right about what?” and she said “the trans thing” so NICE
You’re so strong for putting in all that effort to convince one person. Although I know it’s barely a choice because I’m constantly fighting for myself too. It’s so unfair.
@@neothepenguin1257 thank you. she’s always been supportive of trans people before but obviously there’s still stuff to work through. im glad she’s open minded and that im able to have discussions like this with her.
The fact that you said “punching down” shows you either didn’t watch it or are too dense to have any other perspective.
@@civildiscourse7626 so trans people face discrimination on the daily, whether that’s harassment, violence or bullying. we’re already vilified and ostracised for our existence. trans women in particular are targeted by transphobia both on the street and systematically. so for such a notorious and critically acclaimed comedian like dave chappelle to says he’s “team terf” and that trans women don’t have “real pussys” is just saddening and kicking someone when they’re down. chappelle has used his comedy to discuss racism and other such topics so it’s just disappointing to see him use his name and platform for what is effectively hate. i hope that explains
@@civildiscourse7626 it essentially means targeting someone weaker than you. can also apply to groups of people, not just individuals. because you're stronger than them and it's unlikely that you'll lose against them, you're "punching down."
the strength doesn't always have to be physical power. it can also be fame, wealth, social status, or even social media followers number in this day and age.
I WOULD LOVE A KURTIS CONNER COLLAB MAKE IT HAPPEN PLEASE
BROOOOO YESS MY FAV PODCASTS
vrg x brenemies
Not-so-fun Fun-fact: the term dead name originates from the 80's. When you got close to someone you would let them know that if they ever saw that name in the obituaries it was actually you who had passed. Since that name would be the name we are publicly called in death, we call it a dead name.
Ngl, that's something I'd often think about; If I passed on, would people solely know me as my deadname? Would my actual identity be ignored/erased from my legacy once I'm gone? The fact that the term originated from that kind of issue is kinda sucky, ngl.
As a black trans guy I've reached that part of my transition where the "shy trans hatchling who doesn't want to be a burden for everyone" has transformed into a more assertive and quite angry fledgeling that is quite over a lot of nonsense us trans people have to deal with.
I am tired of constantly walking on egg shells around cis people, saying "it's fine" over and over when they put in just the minimum effort to get my pronouns right, I am tired of them acting like they are doing me a favour by using my chosen name and pronouns, I am tired of invasive questions, I am tired of their unwillingness to put in the work to educate themselves even though I have provided book and website recommendations to take some of that emotional and educational labour off my shoulders, I am tired of being told that I am "brave" for transitioning (which, to me, was the last option left if I wanted to have a slim chance of finally being able to breathe), only to be misgendered by the same person moments later. I am tired of having to be patient and understanding of people who act like calling me he instead of she is an incredible difficult task, I am tired of dealing with TERF rhetoric in my own family and being told not to make my transness into my biggest life topic. My dysphoria is bad, unbelievably bad, it engulfes a vast portion of my life, along with what I suspect to be neurodiversity of some sorts, and it has pushed me to the brink of not being here anymore twice, caused an eating disorder and many other things, yet these people are out there telling me this "topic" shouldn't be important to me.
And most importantly, I am tired of my identity - and that of many others like me - being used as a punchline by wealthy people who have never spent a day in our shoes, who don't know what it's like because they never bother to learn. I am over seeing headlines about CEOs pedalling back because their endorsement of transphobia led to a hit to their finances. I am tired, I am angry and I am hurting for the people who are younger and/or more vulnerable than me. I still have the energy to be angry. Many others do not because they are fighting for their lives and happiness every single day and when they turn on the TV they see people laughing about them.
On deadnames, I call mine a deadname because a lot of abvse and repression is connected to it in my mind. I only call it a birthname if the person I'm talking to isn't vell versed in trans lingo or I don't want to immediately out myself.
As you are a transgender guy.
What’s your thoughts on this Dave quote:
“I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?”
You see yourself as a transgender man which by definition is different than a biological man..
If someone appeases to your demands and says the pronouns u like and states the gender you assign to yourself & the name you assign to yourself . Do they also Have to believe in it too? They just can’t say it and also not believe it???
Is all of society obligated to agree with you even if they were to commit NO actions that impede or infringe on your existence ?
In your mind is there no room for those who just disagree ….they are not uninformed or uneducated they just simply disagree .
They don’t want to see you dead or beaten or rights taken away or jobs taken away…they simply disagree with the notion that the trans community is saying SEX is NOT a fact.
Men & women are just interchangeable vessels
With their differences only being in their self-perception of themselves and Nothing At all biologically.
@saule false the trans community does not view sex a a biological fact that is binary
@saule
I posted a long comment explaining intersex & males not being able to give birth. As society when man is stated it is 99.9% know that they are referring to a biological male.
Also posted three articles about the trans community views on sex which many disagree on.
But the channel here deleted it.
It sucks that on RUclips some creators like to disappear comments they don’t want their audience to see
@saule tried to reply
With some points
But alas again this channel loves to delete comments that make great points with substance & articles that back it up.
Just people who live in a bubble and circle jerk each other cause they hate hearing Dissenting statements that are backed by science.
Good convo though 👍🏾
This right here! I do not need to water down my identity and existence for cis people to accept me. Our anger is entirely justified.
Brennen going on an hour long rant about haw transphobes should be better and more creative at being transphobic
If they’re going to hate me I want them to at least be entertaining about it!!!
@@brennenbeckwith that's fair enough🤣
Good comedy punches up not down imo. Punching up is about challenging a system. Punching down is lazy and, honestly, mean spirited. Its also more likely to fuel hatred and ignorance because punching down often involves mocking a group that isn't well represented and that misinformation is rampant about.
Thank you for researching it. No way I was going to do that to myself.
Great episode. The more I read about this whole situation, the more it looks like Dave Chappelle knowingly threw the most vulnerable members of his own community under the bus so he could ride the controversy. I do think part of it is his own transphobia and stubborn unwillingness to engage with the people who need to be heard. Something in him is deeply threatened by queer people--maybe time will reveal why, but I'm not hopeful on that front. What does make me hopeful is the strength of the Netflix employees behind the walkout. At the very least, it's stared a very important public conversation.
i forgot which video, but am pretty sure F.D. Signifier has made a video concerning black men's masculinity and why/how they have a unique complicated relationship with lgbtq+ issues.
i think Khadija Mbowe also had him as a guest in their video about Lil Nas X about similar topic.
The part where B Pagels-Minor talked about being an elder trans person because they’re 35 made me tear up. It hurts so bad to think about the fact that I’m only 16 and the average life expectancy for trans people is 30, which means I’m middle aged for the average trans person.
Me too. I came out last year, at 30, and I felt like an old man, like it was too late for me, even though that isn't the case at all. When I heard B Pagels-Minor talk, I finally understood why. Of course life isn't over for me, it's only just begun, but as a trans person I am well aware of the many moments in my life where my story could have ended. That speech was powerful and I'm glad it was featured on the podcast. However, I also took hope from it. You and me, we are still here despite everything. We can be happy, we can live our truth.
@@Itri_Vega dude that’s so wonderful to hear! I wish you well in your transition and I hope that you live a long and prosperous life and become an actual elder trans person in your old age :)
Dave Chappelle makes more money for Netflix than any of their employees, or subscribers. They’re not getting rid of him.
Yeah pretty sad
Sad but true
Nor should they. He's funny. People like him. Get over it.
@@jwil4905 Agreed. The man is a national treasure
sense 8 has really positive trans representation and it's also just an amazing show, highly recommend
I totally forgot about that show but you are so right!
Wow ! very cool and good episode from very cool and good humans. must say, the person you reacted to at 57:05 seconds was super duper funny, really had me in stitches.
I was losing my shit at that segment while editing it too lmao
MOE, THAT WAS HILARIOUS!! love love love your comedy! You’re awesome and great. 💕
No idea who that person is but they’re hella rad 😁
me, a cis man watching this and every other brenemies episode: WE EXIST, THERE ARE LITERALLY DOZENS OF US XD
i was very sad to see this issue because im not out to my family and being a black trans/queer person i have to hear these jokes. my family loves dave chappelle and ive constantly argued with them about their homophobia/ transphobia. one thing the black community has a hard time talking about is the intersections in the community and how us black queer people cant take off our “queer hat” for the sake of being “for black people”. our oppression is intersectional. all black lives matter. you can’t contribute to transphobia and expect us to be okay with it. also Kat Williams has explained before that if you HAVE to offend someone to be funny then how funny are you? i really appreciated that from him because dave is a good example of this. he’s simply going out of his way to offend a part of his community. he can be funny without doing this.
Ryan's job is to be the pretty face and it's damn hard work!
They are both pretty faces
"who cares? everyone knows my job here is to look hot!"
as a kid who basically came out loads and was told i needed to wait til i was older (was finally allowed to cut my hair a year ago at 18 and they've finally accepted it thank god) I heard so much casual transphobia and it made me want to not be alive from a young age because i knew inside that I was like these people they were talking abt
brennan, i want to thank you for doing the research and writing for today’s show. as you said it’s so draining and sad as trans/non-binary people to have to look into these kinds of topics. sending love and care to you, and ryan as well. thank you so much, you did a beautiful job of explaining everything during this first segment. 💖💖
Ok, i have something to add about the deadname thing. I'm trans nonbinary, and i still go by my birthname. I actually like my birthname, and it's connections to gender (at least that's how i feel right now). So it feels a bit weird, to me, personally, equating deadname with birthname for trans people, since my birthname isn't dead, and i am a trans person.
I get what you mean by wanting to make cis people understand, but shouldn't it be more about making trans people comfortable? I don't really enjoy policing what people call their birth/dead name. Whichever they choose.
Ryan is such a mood when he spaces out
Its just so disappointing to see transphobia as a feature of a comedy routine. I find it extra hard that Chapelle is from a minority as a POC. Like all bigoted morons, nothing within will change until the culprits experience trans issues in their own lives, e.g. some relation coming out as trans.
Idk he was friends with a trans person who took her own life in 2019 and has just been using that to say he’s not transphobic. She was okay with his jokes so we have to be okay with it kinda thing. I so hope he changes but idk.
@Trevon Womack they want to kill comedy. They want drama instead. Everyone else can be made fun of but them. Pretty selfish.
i was so happy to see jessie gender's vid in the description - it was such a good and well-thought out take
Thank you guys for doing this! Hearing you two speak about this so honestly was cathartic. It's ridiculous that we're expected to sit through transphobia and spend our time debating our existence as if it is a two-sided issue. Please don't drain yourselves by exposing yourselves to too much transphobic rhetoric for the podcast, even when it's spaced out. Personally I really love the parts where you focus on positive things within the community and the goofy bits! The water bottle fight from the first episode added several years to my life.
i've never really watched comedians, used to think it's not really my thing, but the ones you guys reacted to at the end had me gasping for air in laughter so i will definitely check them out! ♥️
Robin Tran is just generally my favorite comedian I love her
“We’re probably gonna burn out too on brenemies” you guys?? Don’t have to talk abt transphobia all the time???? I would love to hear y’all talk about Just good trans news & Just trans creators u like every once in a while :) I think that would be delightful
(Also I am a closeted nonbinary teen and I’m so tired of all the trans-based content I enjoy being centered around transphobia -_- Like it’s important to talk about for sure, but a bitch needs a little hope out here 💔)
Edit: and 2 be clear I love the times where u talk abt trans creators & artists u like in this podcast, but I’m just saying tht more episodes tht are Just abt cool trans shit would be super awesome U‿U
the animated netflix show “big mouth” also has a trans character (a young trans girl voiced by trans actress Josie Totah)
my favorite comedian is Ryan u speak as much as u want lil angel
Idk if this is a good thing lol but do know that there are cis guys like me watching and supporting your podcast ❤️❤️❤️ This whole DC situation sucks and I'm so willing to not give my money to Netflix for the next couple of months.
its ironic that the transphobic one is called closer but the one speaking about trans issues was called disclosure, also the point abt rainbow capitalism is so true fr
Thank you for this deep dive. Really appreciate it!
I've been too exhausted to delve into it myself, so I appreciate being able to get so many thoughts from different sources, without having to shift through all the transphobia myself. Though the episode was long and on a heavy topic, you made it digestible and light hearted, whilst keeping it informative, respective and not shying away from the weight. Thank you for your work.! Hope y'all will submerge yourselves in selfcare.
(also, ryan during this episode is my ADD spirit animal. heavy relate)
Thanks so much for the emotional labour involved in this. Dave doesn’t understand “punch up” versus “punch down”
You realise you're just proving his point???
Loved this episode! Personally one of my favourite Netflix shows is The Babysitters Club which had a really lovely arc featuring Kai Shappley, a trans child actress and activist who was specifically sought out for the role.
(in regards to the rant at around 1 hour n 10 minutes) im so fucking blessed to be at a school where i have my name changed on the roster and most teachers dont even know my deadname because i would commit a felony if someone did what those teachers did to ryan
Everyone was talking about this so i (trans) sat down on my living room, so watch this, my mother (cis) was there on her computer, asked me what i was watching, i told her I was going to watch a comedy show to see if it was offensive ( i didn't explain further), mid show my mother that was still in the background on her computer, flips out , asking if he as nothing else to talk about, and if the show is going to be all about gay and trans people, after that my mother left the living room and only came back after the show was over, that shit triggered my mother and she is cisgender.
mae martin is an amazing non binary comedian! they're the creator and main actress of netflix's feel good
oops my bad!! mae martin**
Mae Martin is so cool
@@hangezoe9015 the fact that theyre besties with elliot paige is just *chef's kiss*
@@noahruiz9532 right amazing
this podcast is literally the highlight of my week.
You need to get out more.
It really warms my queer little heart to see you guys doing so good and that ryan has grown so much. I was kind of an og stormryan fan (I'm talking reaaaal baby shit) and had to jump ship when the Dark Ages came around, but it made me really sad so this has been really hopeful and healing in a weird way. Love both of your commentary on things and ryan is absolutely important to the pod
Also youtube unsubscribed me from you?? Transphobia????
"Couldn't spot me, bye."
Incredible
"It pushes my Buttons."
Wonderful
Netflix is really like "Do we think trans people deserve respect or not? Well you see, it all depends on what is going to make us more money."
I don't know if you have ever heard of James Acaster but he's a cis British comedian and he absolutely tears people like this apart. He's done a few jokes making fun of transphobic comedians and how they think they're so cool and edgy for their views and he's pretty great.
I was just talking about this with my friend the other day and bro we got deeeeeep
Dave is funnier now than ever. There is nothing 'washed up' about Dave Chappelle.
so guess I'm not getting a Netflix subscription then
This reminded me of when I had an English teacher in high school who told me she doesn’t use “nickname” when I told her not to use my deadname and I had this teacher 2 or 3 times but once a guy that used to be transphobic towards me in middle school started yelling with me at the teacher saying my name is gabe/Gabriel and like other student who had her but wasn’t in my class would go up and bother her and I got sent to the principals office cuz of it but then they realized it was against the law cuz I live in CA
Dave Chappelle is transphobic in no way whatsoever. He is hands down the best comedian of our time. Your favorite comedian will agree and say the same
You’re defending someone who admitted on stage that they are transphobic. He said himself that he’s on the side of terfs, which are transphobic people. Idk where your confusion is coming from.
Loved the subjects u guys talk abt today. It really hurts how the hatred and desinformation that society has on the trans and the queer community affects the way everything works. Me living in Mexico makes it super hard because everything is so fucking damaging to minorities, from misoginy, to transphobia, to homophobia. And lets not talk abt the comedian and Stand-Up community, cause they r so fuuucking entitled when doing damaging jokes in the name of "Comedy", dude...it's tiring, if communities get upset, it's not a good fucking joke??? not being a fucking ass and -phobic is so easy, literally just not insult and attack someone else for EXISTING??
btw. 40:50 my fanart made it to the viddd tysmmm
Yes 👏🏻 Brennan 👏🏻yes👏🏻
We just want to exist!!!!!
He makes fun of everybody, so I don't understand the anger
Talknabt the professors/teachers by name, they deserve to be shamed
Daily Reminder that you are all beautiful, smart, kind, talented, loved, valued and valid.
I believe that there are some experiences you can’t fully understand unless you experience it yourself but I literally do not get how he doesn’t even sort of understand it
It is so ironic I got a Steve crowder video talking about Elliot pages too surgery as 5e first ad on this.
we'll take his money any day 😡
I really loved Moe's comedy. This was a great video btw.
Holly Molly! I've never been so happy that I don't have Netflix 😌...
I really enjoy your content. Please do take a break when you guys need it. Everyone will still be here when you get back 💜
I love y’all so much & the longer episodes are awesome!!
I think it might have been me whose tweet you were referencing early on about how calling Chappelle an old, washed up comedian is getting it wrong. First of all, thank you for including my voice among so many others who said it better and from a more informed place than I ever could. I do just want to clarify one thing: When I say that Chappelle isn't an old, washed-up comedian struggling for relevance, I don't just mean because of what he's done in the past, I mean because of what he's shown he's still capable of doing. Last year, in the wake of George Floyd's murder, he put out one of the best sets of his career. It was emotional, cathartic, informed, pointed, and when it needed to be, hilarious. What's really frustrating about his current transphobia is that he really doesn't need to. When he puts his mind to actually being his funny, insightful self, he can still do it as well as he ever could. Which means that his decision to lean into the transphobia and away from everything else is motivated by either laziness or genuine hatred. And either is pretty awful.
I’ve never been this early
Extra shout out to Jessie Gender. She’s so awesome and deserves so many subscribers!
the best show with trans rep on netflix is probably the walking dead
Honestly, I'm just tired of having to choose between my blackness and queerness all the time. The black community has so many issues with colorism, transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and ableism. I'm Afab, nonbinary, pansexual, and neurodivergent...
Someone please squash the levels between quiet and loud speakers. The clipping of the mic killed it for me and I'm tired of chasing the volume around to account for it. Pretty please with sugar on top, compress everything a bit more and lower the limit a little even.
Our editor is hard of hearing this comment is ableist 🙄 /hj
Ahhhh, I see. Well.... man if I get a computer I would volunteer to do audio for these videos. It's kind of my favorite thing to do anyway.
Ngl content like this is what keeps me going, I'm a trans guy idk any trans ppl irl (who are out to me anyway) and I try to be stealth so things like this is what helps me feel less alone and isolated bcus ppl around me aren't that clued up on it and don't seem to care much and i hear all sorts of casually transphobic stuff all the time so yh the point these guys made about being in the minority of trans ppl who are willing to be open and speak up about this is true cos im not tryna get hate crimed fr
Daphne was a friend of mine. She was such a lovely person.
I must say I've started looking forward to these episodes every week. :)
Funny how blaire white and KG were like this wasn’t offensive at all as if they speak for the whole trans community.
as if they aren't some of the most offensive trans people themselves 💀
@@brennenbeckwith So y’all are science deniers? Read some NON biased articles sometime
i'm so happy i have y'all to sort out my feelings about trans discourse in words that i don't have the brain cells to articulate.
If we cancel comedians over everything they make fun of then we're actually silencing free speech!
I love this show so much
You two are so smart and adorable - after wading through a lot of gross discourse on this millionaire's mid-life-crisis 'special' it's super refreshing to find some actually relevant takes from some younger trans kids. Hope the trolls stay under the bridge Dave has yet to build though...
You left out the part where trans ppl bullied Doorman
“Not that cis men watch this show” as I had my eyes closed waiting to hear the stuff lol
I like the point you made about people making Daphne’s death all about Dave. Her death was more than about Dave. Life sucked which caused her to die and people are making her death about a political agenda and more conflict and fighting instead of talking about how we can make life suck less
I love this show so much. I used to really hate Brennen when I was a Kalvin fan, and now Brennen is my favourite youtuber.
Sorry to break it to y’all but it’s not Dave that’s doing the damage. It’s your reaction and self entitlement that defeats ur purpose.
Not that I'm excusing the "it's just a joke!" crowd when it comes to jokes about marginalised groups, but there's something so obvious, and insidious, about a comedian who's jokes aren't JUST jokes and come from a genuine set of fucked up beliefs. Chapp-hel is clearly one of these people, and even if he hadn't publically aligned himself with Just Kidding Rowling and called himself a TERF, it would still be pretty clear.
also deadname is bc it is unfortunately a name that would be applied to you w/o consent when you are dead if your family isnt accepting
Pro gamer move: pirate the shows on netflix you wanna watch
"what do u think will be a new layer of transphobia" I mean the other day I saw this article say that trans people are causing global warming so
I worked at a McDonald’s that posted my dead name on a board every week and my co workers started wondering who the random person on the list is who doesn’t work there because no one knew I was even trans except the manager. Made me so anxious, I ended up quitting because I kept overhearing transphobic comments.
The editing felt a little weird in this episode, especially when it kept getting really close up on Brennen’s face, and it was kinda distracting. I really appreciate what was said
It did get better after the first 10-15 min, so never mind
I kind of want the LGBT community to buy out his entire show for his new special. Just so the entire show is just void of laughter and just emphasizes how his jokes just don't hit anymore.
Cry some more
Great episode. I first kind of heard this from Hannah Gatsby who replied to ted sarandos dragging them into it by trying to say Netflix was balanced because they had Dave Chappelle's comedy specials and Hannah's as well
I had a friend after saying I might stop using my Netflix account tell me I needed to watch the whole thing because it was actually a really good special and that he was not being serious. She doesn't get that somethings are not meant to be joked about.