Emotional Affair or Just a Friend? How to Tell the Difference (Take the Quiz)
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- Опубликовано: 27 авг 2024
- Emotional Affair or Just a Friend? How to Tell the Difference (Take the Quiz)
Friendships of the opposite sex are a source of conflict for many couples. Are they ok? Should you cut off these friendships when you get married? How do you know if a friendship is becoming an emotional affair? What's the difference? We'll discuss all that and more on today's video.
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Where does the line cross for you between friendship and emotional affair?
I didn't realize how important this question really is - and how it changed once we went from just boyf/girlf to husband and wife. It never occurred to me that a friendship of any sort of his would feel so threatening. Until I'd had 3 of his children... and was wrapped up in care for them and the household in general... and he was off... galavanting at work lunches with cutie pies... I didn't realize how threatening the term "Just friends" could feel but there is an actual book about how it's a slippery slope, and if you have to qualify it as "just" then there's already likely bigger feelings there you might not be willing to admit yet. I had no idea how much it could hurt even if it never got to an insertion into each others' bodies phase. The disrespect... the disconnect... and I saw her coming and could not stop him. Now, a year after the fact, we're still precariously in a rebuilding phase but at least she's gone so that's progress in a direction, I suppose.
@@brightpage1020 that’s definitely a step in the right direction and rebuilding with better boundaries in that area. Good for you
Is lying part of cheating?
@@kurpal8904 cheating always involves lying but lying itself is not cheating.
@@kurpal8904 definately , if you have to lie to your mate you must be talking about something you dont want him to hear
I don’t even have to hear this to answer the question… if you have to hide the relationship or ANY of the conversation, it’s an emotional affair. Transparency is non-negotiable.
Truth!! 👏🏼👏🏼 Sometimes we can also fool ourselves as well and think we aren’t as emotionally involved as we are, and be giving some level of transparency but not fully disclosing
great comment
My husband and I had opposite sex friends before we married but those friendships kinda fizzled out after marriage in order to respect one another. He still has one from college that I love and respect and the few times a year they do talk, he puts me on the phone so her and I can catch up as well
Sounds like the two of you have found agreement in which ones to let go of and which ones to maintain contact with, having some clear guidelines on frequency how you communicate with each other about it. Looks like a winner right there !!
That’s wholesome ❤️
This what real friendship that respect his marriage would do. But alot of these beings act like they drink dumb juice.
Yes acquaintances are okay 4 times a year happy birthday how's the family HI and Bye
How sad to have to lose your friends to a marriage...
Emotional affairs always leads to full blown affairs....because each other will always always take the bait.
Often times that’s the case
I grew up with 5 brothers so I can relate to men. However I would respect my partners concerns if he was uncomfortable.
I want my wife to watch this video but I don't want her to think I'm accusing her of having an emotional affair.
Best to not sugar coat it. They will lie anyways
The moment you are afraid of your spouse, is the momen you are living in fear. Sorry brother.
If you have an opposite gender friend and you're in a relationship, that friend should then be your spouses friend too. I made a male friend and immediately introduced him to my spouse and they became great friends and hang out often.
What would you have done if your spouse didn’t want to by friends with that guy?
@@RelationShots That's a good question and I would like to know the answer, please!
@@RelationShots Obviously, if she is more invested in her hubby than her male friend than she will keep her distance from him and treat him very much like her other female friends. Conversely, If she invests more time an energy with her male friend than she does with her hubby or any of her female friends, then it becomes an enormous red flag.
@@jean-marclouise1851 agreed
Unless the friend is gay its a pointless relationship that will always diffuse
Truth!! Great video as always! I concur.
If you concur then I’m in good company! 👏🏼
My husband is an intimacy anorexic but this video has helped me realize that I am not emotional cheating. So thank you…the only one of the questions I wasn’t sure about is that the other person doesn’t see it that way. He asks me about my marriage sometimes, I think hoping that I will give him something to grab onto but I don’t. Always try to make it clear that you love and respect your marriage above any other relationship.
I’m a professional who has dealt with situations like this for many years. Perhaps the biggest red flag I’ve seen is when your partner goes that “extra mile” before being in that person’s presence. A bit more attention to hair, makeup, clothing, cologne , etc. I would call it the way one gets ready for a first date. If you see this in your partner, I strongly advise you to watch this very closely. If there’s nothing different from how they get ready for all situations in general , then you probably don’t have a problem.🤔
Would you say its enough to end the relationship even if nothing has happened?
Could have written this.
That's true, opposite sex friendship are so much easier, but your right, I shared more with them then my husband and there's so many things I still have not shared with my husband, my hubby is just so hard to talk to truthfully, and I want to talk, so it makes it easy for me to talk to someone else. But your right it's wrong, it's not helping at all, just dividing us even more. Thanks Pastor Eric, your really are challenging me in my marriage, it's painful but so needed.
Just got to keep pushing into the marriage!!
Why did you marry a man you can’t talk truthfully to?
@@plumeria66 for real
@@plumeria66Maybe he doesn’t listen. Maybe when she is vulnerable, he later throws it in her face. Maybe she tells him what she needs and he doesn’t really hear it or think she is being serious. These are all the issues I have, but I talk to my journal. I miss my girlfriends that I used to talk to when I had problems. It’s hard to tell your husband what you’re feeling when he doesn’t want to listen or take you seriously. It’s heartbreaking. I don’t think telling an opposite sex friend is the answer, but after many years you need someone to talk to who will actually listen because it’s makes you slowly wither away inside trying to keep all the pain in.
Thank you for posting this, it can be challenging to describe to a partner what emotional cheating is, and you put this all into words so neatly and straightforward
Glad you enjoyed!
Emotional cheating- before going to bed the mind is already there. Lack of principles. Women dominated by a confusion between love sex and money. Family goes down the drain. There is always a richer man. There is always a younger woman. Every 22 y/o woman will be like that for only one year. So obvious. If not married let’s try again in worse conditions next year.
"I know that you know..." That's all we have to say and agree upon.
You really lay it all out there. All true stuff and the quiz is definitely an eye opener. You just can’t make excuses. I feel we definitely make unfair comparisons to our spouse. No person will be perfect. But, sometimes when you are in a emotional affair you think it will be perfect and you can catch yourself ignoring red flags. Bottom line. The easy way never works and you have to face your problems or concerns in the marriage. Or disaster will strike.
All truth! 👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼
Excellent stuff, Eric! The quizzes are forever saved as screenshots on my phone. Thank you for caring about our marriages and speaking truth in such a desperately needed area!
Thanks Adam. Always appreciate the encouragement!!
💕🌻 Very true. This is one of many reasons why. I haven't been in a relationship since Dec 2004!!
I wish I never got into another one. You are a very clever girl!
@@js8536 💕🌻
Opposite sex friends must be avoided at all cost in marriage. Nothing good can come from it.
Exactly what I said. Serves no ultimate purpose when there is a marriage.
"Nothing good can come from it" is quite the claim.
I've been investigating this topic for several years. There are lots of great materials out there. But I am really thankful to God for leading me to your channel. Great thoughts 🔥 Thank you! 🙏
Awesome. Glad you found the video helpful!!
That “I know you know.” That part hit
Hahaha. Glad it resonated!
Thanks for the content brother🙏🏼 a topic not talked about enough because it’s too uncomfortable for most of us
Thanks for the feedback. Glad the content was helpful!!
My hubby is my emotional affair because no man ever wanted to be my friend. Literally!
I think that this is a very insightful video that addresses the emotional aspects of close friendships of the opposite sex but still thinks married couples can have such friendships provided you have boundaries on your conversations and communications.
I agree. With healthy boundaries around frequency of conversation and types of conversations it’s doable
Opposite sex friendships almost always destroys marriages.
They definitely have that potential
@RussianCat2 NAILED IT! God didn't design Adam and Eve to be just friends and in short this translates to men and women cannot be just friends. Inevitably one of them will fall for the other eventually! Nothing good comes from having friends of the opposite sex when you're in the confines of a relationship/marriage. That's just asking the devil to open all the doors for infidelty and an affair (emotionally or physically)
All true. He even said he talks to her now because since we had tragedy in our lives I've shut the world out, it's how I was grieving. It's funny you got the name right! But he calls her "Chelle" when they constantly text. So cute for them.
Hopefully he’s open to limiting communication and reconnecting with you as you open back up to the world
I had the same situation. My husband got caught up texting his co-worker about the people that they did not like at work. Soon it was text at home at night about some work and things about be concerned as to how they were feeling after illness, what they were.goinf through with the death of a pet, and many emojis, jokes and multimedia. The damage has been overwhelming into post trauma and triggers for me. Not sure as to how far it did go but intuition can become anything. Make your boundaries in the beginning, nip them in the bud right away.
my wife is in an affair(emotional and physical) with her friend. she left me for her. careful... it's not just the male friends husband have to worry about
Makes it hard to know who to trust these days
Hi. Why u say It's not only make friends to worry about? 🙏
I don't understand why this is not addressed more. It's real. It's not just male/female.
Did you find out about it before she left?
How did it start?
This is a great insight.....love the video!!
My husband had an emotional affair with a high school friend. He could not and neither could she pass that quiz. She started sending him pics of her in her underwear and tank, in bed and of bras and underwear she was buying and he took the bait, betraying me. It’s devastating!
Sorry to hear that. That is definitely a devastating situation to deal with.
They dotn understand anything females go thre or even want to my phone bill showed alot and he was deleting the messages from the phone i had got him and he got his own phone nownfor thatbfemale to text him on
That's definitely more than emotional cheating
He needs to block her immediately. I had someone from my past reach out and tell me he wants to see me again. I said no because I felt he wanted to be more than friends. I told him I’m married now and not interested. He later randomly sent me a sexually charged message (words only), which I deleted and told him “don’t ever do that again or I’m blocking you” because he is basically risking my marriage. I can’t control if a man from my past randomly reaches out, but I can tell him no, establish my boundary, and block him. I’m not interested in creating a situation where my husband thinks I’m cheating when I’m not doing anything, nor even interested in talking to that person from my past which I’ve moved on from.
Subscribed. This illuminated so many things that I felt were off in previous relationships. It’s empowering to hear these perspectives because it validates my own intuition and experiences. I’ve been compared to exes of men I’ve dated and have had emotional intimacy robbed from my past romantic relationships by those very people. I’ve rarely if ever seen a healthy example of an opposite sex friendship in marriage so thank you for shedding light on this very important topic. 🙌
Glad it resonated for you. I know some people that have healthy boundaries and relationships that are able to have healthy opposite sex friendships that aren’t hurting their marriage…but that’s definitely not the majority
You have a fantastic insight, really good video
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed
Love this! Makes so much sense.
Great info. I appreciate the way you explain it. I love the perspective. I saved the questions. Thank you.
Thanks April. Glad it made some sense!
Have to make sure everything is above aboard and transparent - zero secrecy
even then, why are you giving time to another man/woman? Nothing good can come of it
Would not ( have never ) get in a relationship with a woman with male friends its a hard boundary.
WHAT?! MAN...I LUV THIS!!! COUPLES NEED TO BE ABLE TO DISCERN YOUR MOTIVE AND THEIR MOTIVE. IF YOU WERE ATTRACTED TO THEM BACK IN THE DAY THEN....THAT'S NOT GOOD. I LIKE YOUR BIZ MARKIE REFERENCE LOL. I'M GOONA GET ME ONE OF YOUR SHIRTS. BE BLESSED BRO!
Agree with everything 100%.
How about her male coworker ( whom she says she does not like and cand stand him) tells you they talk all the time and knows your personal life, but yet she still denys ever telling him anything. Cheating?
Definitely not healthy
Sometimes a woman will pretend she does not like a guy to throw her partner off of him. As a man, if my woman is concentrating and talking about a guy a lot (either talking shit about him or singing his praises) it is a red flag to me. Why is she so focused on another man?
My opposite sex friend has known me since I was 5. He holds me accountable and pushes me to keep reaching my goals. My husband on the other hand his new friend he is emotionally invested in and he has told me this.
If your male friend holds you accountable and pushes you towards goals, then you two are also emotionally invested in each other. The sharing of dreams, goals, future plans, etc are emotionally connecting conversations
@@RelationShots yes it is. My Husband doesn't want me to lose weight which is affecting my health.
@@ambergerman8504 Not sure why your husband doesn’t want you to lose weight but I’m sure there’s a whole backstory to that. That’s probably the real conversation that needs to be occurring since you desire that connection and support from him in this area that is important to you…but If your husband isn’t going to be your accountability on support on this, couldn’t it be another girlfriend instead of the opposite sex friend?
@@RelationShots I do have this conversation with my Girlfriends as well and they do the same as my opposite sex friend. He went to school to be a trainer so he helps me with workouts. He lives hours away so we communicate over texts. He gives me a list of workouts and I try to get my husband to do the workouts with me. He doesn't want me to lose weight because he likes bigger women. I have 3 children that I need to be here for since he has decided he is just going to live life and if he dies then it's his time to go. He never used to have that mentality. He started drinking again after 5 year's of sobriety. I just don't know who this guy is that's in my husband's body. He has never acted this way before. He is happiest when I am not around him or talking to him. So I have invested all my time and energy into the kid's and finding what makes me happy. We are basically roommates at this point. He won't go to marriage counseling and doesn't want to work on us because he feels we are just fine.
@@RelationShots Emotional investments outside of the relationship aren't a bad thing. You have to diversify your investments, otherwise you'll lose everything with the end of the relationship. This of course doesn't mean that your emotional investment into your partner shouldn't be the main investment.
ye abut what if the friend is helping you break up from an unhealthy relationship faster. Lets say the friend will be happy for the woman regardless of whether she stays or not, so a true friend, but still likes the woman enough that if she was single wouldnt mind getting into a relationship. And as a true friend, you want to give her genuine honest opinion. So long as you are being supportive without an alternative agenda, shouldnt that be considered an advantage? Too many marriages last wayyyyy longer than they have to, because 1. people are scared of change and get comfortable and 2. THey are afraid of being alone. This is why people should be comfortable with being alone before they get into marriage. They need a strong sense of self, because you will often lose it the moment you enter a relationship and thats where the stress and expectations begin
Also:
• Does/has your partner hide/hid the friendship from you
Another incredible video, so helpful ♡
True on that one!
Exactly! This was done to me, he hid a friendship from me because he feared I was going to be upset if I found out about her
Like no duh that is emotional cheating 😒 idk why the fuck he thought that was okay
Damn, this video is gold...
I know this girl since college days. We both were single. We would confide in each others just about everything - mostly about our love life though. Also, we would tease, joke, and banter with each other. So, we were kinda emotionally attached to each other. After a while, I catched feelings and I was pretty sure she was too at some point. Though we never admitted it. After college was over, we went our separate ways but reconnected again during class reunion that being held recently. I'm still single while she's been married to someone else for 9 years. We are still texting occasionally, not as much as before. And we don't tease or banter anymore knowing one of us is committed to someone else but I could feel she wanted to confide some emotional stuff like we used to do back in college. I tried to avoid that as I thought she should talk that with her husband. And sometimes she would talk about her looks as if she was trying to fish validation from me. There were times she talked about her pregnancy details. She never talked about her husband though. Does this clear as day that this is emotional affair?
I don’t know what that I would call that level of communication an emotional affair but it definitely isn’t wise and could easily open the door for that and more
I would recommend putting your foot down and setting boundaries, enough her to talk to her husband instead.
It is fine to have friends of the opposite sex when you are married so long as you allow your partner to be friends with that friend too! I thought an emotional affair is when you start telling each other that you have feelings for you each other.
Lots of people cheat with mutual friends
Well thank you for sharing.
For your last point of talking to others and not needing to repeat those conversations, is that exclusive to opposite sex friendships? Wouldn’t the same effect apply to all friendships?
It could definitely apply to all friendships if those conversations are taking away from necessary talks with your partner, but there tends to be a different dynamic in conversations with the opposite sex.
Any opposite sex friends (unless they're part of family or extended family) have to go once you're in a relationship / married! They are a threat to a person's relationship / marriage whether a person realizes it or not. I say this because every girl I became "friends" with that came into my life I eventually grew feelings towards. You're playing with fire by having friends of the opposite sex once you're in a relationship / married. More infidelity and affairs (emotional or physical) are caused by this alone than anything else.
It’s not impossible to have opposite sex friends but I agree that it can be dangerous
I have no problem with my spouse having opposite sex friends - unless that friend is young, single, coworker with huge boobs who fawns on him and he lights up or makes excuses to bring her up in conversation. If I’ve told him more than once that I’m uncomfortable and wish he’d minimize contact, but instead he takes it from a work friend to a social media or online friendship then to making dates to hang out within week and they’re having secrets lunches and texting secret pics at 2 am and then I find a mystery bra in our bedroom laundry? Um. Yeah. No ok with that.
😳 Yeah, hard pass on that one!
Spot on!
My wife have this guy she won't let go off & she doesn't care about us communicating at home. I have a big problem about it
What about if it’s a mutual friend ? Also a mutual friend who showed no interest in him until I started dating him.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with mutual friends but I’ll always come back to the frequency and type of communication that’s going and ask people to evaluate how it might negatively impact their relationship.
So what do you recommend doing if your friendship is robbing your marriage? Cut the friend off or Talk to them less?
I would definitely start with talk less and talk about fewer things with them. But if the relationship is unhealthy, hurtful to your spouse or damaging to the marriage, then cutting it off is wise
@@RelationShots Thank-you for your advice. I currently have a healthy friendship with the opposing sex friend. But after hearing your advice i decided after that i'm going to talk to that friends less even though it is healthy and my wife is aware of this friendship.
Because your right it can rob my marriage in many ways even though that friend i are business partners and have been friends for 4 years and we never had any kind of romantic contact at all and never came nowhere close to it.
But the points you explain are so true man thank-you! for starting this channel its helpful i wish you Love and peace brother!
@@Outtromedia Awesome. I think that’s wisdom. Part of protecting our marriages is setting greater boundaries than we think are necessary in the good times so when we hit a tough time there’s no chance of crossing lines
What do you do if your spouse works in a field in which they work with one partner, mostly the two of them, during their work shifts? Thats a lot of hours one on one. I find that there is a limited desire for mixing work and home relationships from my spouse and that there is a limited desire to talk about things when they get home. I am not saying that there is something inappropriate connected to this relationship, but it makes me wonder as I have not considered the potential for issues with their work relationship. As there are many types of work environments like this, what would your suggestion be in keeping an appropriate relationship in a male-female work partnership? BTW, it is in a field in which there is potential for a lot of stress, which results in a large number of short careers and failed marriages.
Yeah that is definitely difficult with something like law enforcement where there is a lot of one on one and aspects of the job they don’t want to bring home. The key is trying to make sure that you have a real intentional rhythm in your relationship where you are prioritizing times of emotional connection and doing things regularly to maintain your friendship.
Agree 100%
Good information. The thing that is bothering in these though is when you're not emotionally or physically attached to the opposite sex friend, however we should not that that opposite sex friend could be interested in us. Example a husband has a work friend that has continued even after both are in new situations, he's completely devoted to his spouse but maybe the friend is interested in him. Or it could be a wife with an opposite sex friend and the friend is more interested in her. What types of clues could one be on the lookout for? That would be a flip side to look at. Some people can be clueless when a "Potipher's wife" is pursuing a "Joseph."
Good thoughts!
Great words, dead on
Men, please protect your wife. Dont be blind and ridiculous 🙄.
What the hell is an emotional affair?
Amazing video
What if one of the partners is bisexual? Are they not allowed to have any close friendships?
Makes it a bit more complicated doesn’t it. Some of the principles still apply, whether girl or guy. Too many conversations and the depth of conversation can still rob the relationship of emotional intimacy that has still been outsourced
Someone claiming to be BI would be a deal breaker for me anyway. Your comment is just one of the reasons why it wouldn't work out
Is it an emotional affair when you get sick if you can't be with your emotional friend?
Certainly sounds like something 👀
my husband charts nasty texts with female friends that i dont know, when i ask him he says those are just normal talks, is it okay for him to do so coz according to me am not happy about it.
I would say if you’re not ok with it then it isn’t ok. I’m not sure what kind of texts these are that he says are normal but either way, if you don’t feel comfortable with it then I would hope he is willing to adjust for you
Can anyone help answer what non physical cheating is?
I would say giving someone outside the relationship what should be reserved for the partner only: deep emotional conversations, emotional connection, dreaming together, etc. Certainly any conversations or activities your partner doesn’t know about or would be uncomfortable with.
Sad but true
They text each other a lot on a Google number!
Hmmm. Why not on his regular phone?
How does taking three separate holidays in a year (nearly three weeks worth of vacation) with your “friend” score?…..it’s what my wife is doing….mind you she has NPD, so couldn’t care less about my objections….
Yeah, that’s certainly problematic
What if the partner and friend live together? 😕
@@cortezsb7727 🥴 That’s a bit messy
Ps she’s also a lesbian potentially bisexual
@@RelationShots ps the “friend” is also a lesbian but with a history of hooking up with men so potentially bisexual
@@cortezsb7727 and getting messier 🥴
Thank you.
Thanks for dropping by!!
It seems to me that "healthy friendship" is subjective and misunderstood. My ex and i fought all the time and really i think she was a full on narcissist, as someone like Jordan Peterson or Todd grande would define one. Then i met this "friend" at work, and it's like wow,she understands me, she really empathizes with me. Now contrast that to my ex, she would take something about me and turn it into something about her. Long story short, that "friend" at work ended up being a wedge, the final nail in my then-current relationship. So then, wouldn't you agree that it's healthy for someone to see an emotionally supportive and understanding alternative and go to that, escaping a toxic mess that they're mired in?
Sounds like relationship with your ex wasn’t healthy but you also said this new friendship was a wedge in your relationship which also wasn’t healthy for the previous relationship. I would agree that it’s healthy for you to be in a healthy relationship but you could have found emotional support and understanding in a same sex friendship that wouldn’t have been the final nail in the relationship. The healthiest option would be to end the toxic relationship before starting a new one.
@@RelationShots I'll just pull a same sex emotional support out of my back pocket now...
You complete nailed it! Do all men start looking for something better when the relationship is going thru a tough period?
Not all men. I think most men do genuinely desire peace, but real men understand relationships are work and should lean into the relationship when it gets tough, not away from it
I think women can also look elsewhere when the relationship is getting rough. It’s not related to just one gender. I think emotional connection is important and when it disappears, sometimes you want to find it elsewhere but it leads to further disconnection in the marriage.
I agree with this in theory but I also needto ask would doing any of these things matter if the friend was the same sex?
I definitely think you can rob your marriage of emotional intimacy if you share everything with a same sex friend and stop sharing with your spouse. But I do believe there is just a different dynamic between friends of the opposite sex, and men tend to be more emotionally open with a female friend than a male friend
the main difference is comparison. Women do not expect their female friends to respond in the same manner their husbands do so they do not compare the two. However she will compare the male friends response to that of her husband, which can be deadly for a relationship
NOTHING like jumping on the BANDWAGON, huh guy’s? ? ?
At 4:00 I have a couple questions. Why is #4 a good thing to have in a friendship? Is it because we hide our bad side when we're romantically interested in someone? Also, can you explain #5? I don't know what type things a partner is supposed to know more about than the friend.
#4 just means that we tend to hide our issues, negative aspects from people we are romantically interested in early on so if you’re not hiding your not-so-good side it probably shows you’re not interested in more. #5 is just saying that your greatest emotional intimacy should be with your partner. So things like your hopes and dreams, struggles, fears, etc should be shared with your partner not an opposite sex friend. If the friend knows more about you in those areas it’s probably dangerous
@@RelationShots I think being vulnerable about your issues would be something that would make you feel closer to someone.
For one it is okay to eat for another its not.
Thank you for the video
Will those questions and statements go if the friend was the same sex????
Is it right for him to have girl or women friends but I can’t have male friends?
Seems weird to forbid something for your partner that’s fine for you, but I also don’t know any of your relationship history. For example, if you have cheated multiple times then it might make sense for you not to have male friends.
Hi Eric! How would I refer anyone to you for counsel? Thanks
People can just email info@altaredmarriage.com if interested in counseling
@@RelationShots thks!
Fucking brilliant!
Glad you found some value in the content Kevin. Appreciate the encouragement
They both read...disrespect...you can assign whatever title you want....
what if your ex physical cheating on you ? what next ?
Confused by your question. If they’re your “ex” then how are they cheating on you? You’re not together anymore
@@RelationShots i d k but he cheated on me while we were breaking up and now he want come back and have a relationship with me, is that still working? or what i should do anyway ....
@@savylany5754 I would be real cautious to get back in a relationship with someone who cheated. What is different about him now that would lead you to believe he has grown and will be faithful other than just saying so?
My wife have had this issue before. I was not an angel in our marriage but tunred myself around and now we are doing great!!! However, she has guy friends that she dated before and she still talks to them occassionally and sometimes I would check her phone or laptop and would find them hitting on her or saying thinking about you or some shit and then I am like why are they still saying stuff like that. Especially since we are still working on stuff. I have lost alot of trust however. If she is going to cheat then she is going to cheat I cant stop her. I just need to be mentally prepared. She caught me going through her computer one night and did not get mad but was like what are you doing. I lied about it but was caught in a lie. I was embarrassed because she telld me she loves me and everything and doesnt want to leave me but its like what do I do. Do I just put it in GODs hands?
Hey Eric my wife is and has been soo closed off. Especially the last few years it's gotten really hard to handle. I caught her sending a picture message to another guy. I really feel something is off. With her she says the I love you but im not in love with you anymore. Which you did a video on that her and I watched. Idk I know my wife and something is off. She says we have drifted apart what am I supposed to do with this? Im trying to win her back but It's soo hard. Not sure how to approach this.
I think asking your wife what she thinks has caused the disconnection is a good starting point to see if you can identify what needs to be happening in the relationship. If she’s talking to another guy that obviously makes things much more complicated because now she’s likely comparing the disconnection between you two with a connection she might be having with someone else.
He’s having sex and emotional affair with a colleague or a customer!
Compares the way i dress to mother women that wear cheap clothes and shoes from fashion nova and sandals from pic and pay.
In my experience, if a person is "well fed" he/she will not go somewhere else to look for "food", i.e. if a person gets whatever he/she needs in his/her marriage, they will not go look for it somewhere else..but if it's a sparkles, tasteless marriage, where one party doesn't want to do anything to keep the passion physical or emotional going, claiming that he/she is so overwhelmed with whatever they are and just to give partner guilt trip and hold him/her a hostage like "But you can't do it..speak to someone else, give complements or have emotional talks...because WE ARE MARRIED ", is not going to work well and such people will be looking for a substitute on a side..that's why they end up in those online affairs..I'd say, you feel like your marriage is feeding away..work on it...Good luck!
That is often true, but there are also situations where one spouse has not dealt with personal issues of rejection or low self-esteem and even with an attentive spouse who is feeding the marriage it is still not enough for their spouse. Almost like “my spouse has to tell me they love me and I’m great because we’re married, but this outside person is choosing to do those same things so it feels better/different”
@@RelationShots hardly a women who is receiving everything in her marriage have an emotional affair, man tempt to neglect their wife greatly because they take her for granted, I talked to my husband so many times about his lack of interactions with me, he does not believe it, he thinks everything is perfect even though I talked him not it is not!
@@carlel121 you are just trying to justify YOUR unfaithful actions. It is disgusting that you are trying to blame your man for your emotional infidelity.
@@nickdipaolofan5948 you don’t even know him, who are you to judge? Mr perfect? 🙄
@@carlel121 you admitted in your comments that you were having an emotional affair with someone else. There is no justification for infidelity, emotional or physical. If your spouse is that bad then you need to divorce him BEFORE you give yourself to another. He may or may not be a horrible person, but either way, YOU are a horrible person for your infidelity.
I can’t find the link.
What link are you looking for?
Yea opposite sex relationships ruin a person household but some men dont care that are attention seekers!
Never get married and always avoid gov.t entanglements.
If you have to ask the question…
You probably don’t want to know the answer ;o)
Right?
Some people don’t ask the questiin
Even if I agree some of my conversations with my close opposite gender friend is a secret from my wife, I don’t think this is an emotional affair. We simply talk life and nothing else. We are entitled to our portion of personal life like every human being. Just as spouses sometimes know little to nothing about some of our other same gender friends, why can’t it be true about opposite gender friend? As long as you know your boundaries and don’t indulge in any sexual fantasies, I guess we are good. We are single assuming that our spouses would all be nasty micro managing brats expecting 200% openness and zero personalities from us.
I would say if it’s a secret that probably isn’t healthy, and also if you are having conversations about hopes/dreams, struggles, etc with this friend then you likely aren’t also having those conversations with your spouse which will rob the marriage of emotional intimacy.
Why would it be a secret? You don't need to share everything with your wife BUT why have you decided that your conversations is a SECRET! Is there something you say to your friend that you can't say to your wife? See the problem here! You don't have to tell your wife about your conversations but your conversations should not be classified as a SECRET!! You should be able to tell your wife all the things you talk to your girl friend about with confidence.
The difference between a friend and an emotional abuse is transparency!
@@RelationShots I share absolutely everything with my spouse, including that I fantasized about someone else, and he was actually supportive. We're weird ones.
If you cant maintain friendships and a relationship then something is wrong with you as a person. 🤷🏽♀️
Maybe something is wrong with you
It feels like your persecuting people for a 'thought' crime and I don't agree. I don't agree at all. Actions and deeds are all that matter. Thoughts and fantasies do not. They are fleeting, and people should be allowed to have them.
He isn't talking about thought and fantasties, are you even listening! He is talking about emotionally connecting with another human being!
Fml
I want my wife to watch this so that way I can say “you see, you made me do this”
If u r cheating,
She is not responsible,u must b open to her about what is lacking between u too,Nd u should remember that a partner is mirror,reflects all flaws nd goodness,unlike affairs,that only tells us our good things nd we think ourself as god,
But if she is cheating,each word applies to her,
Happy healing
Two wrongs don't make a right!