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Why Guys Who Focus On A Relationship Don’t Get One
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Why guys who focus on a relationship and locking a woman down typically don’t get one.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a lazy viewer who is not following instructions and is cherry picking information from videos. He hasn’t read 3% Man, and is confused as to why the woman he’s been dating for 4 months still wants to play the field and date other men. She’s very active on the dating app Hinge and he doesn’t understand why. He’s totally focused on a relationship and locking her down. He’s even starting to display some controlling behavior which has triggered unpleasant memories of her ex boyfriend who she felt she wasted 6 years of her prime single years with.
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I friendzoned a guy I was initially interested in because he was suffocating me and I only knew him for like a week.That caused him to start persuing me even more violently and acting creepy because he thought I would "come round".Never in my life have I felt this disgusted by another person.
👍
Thanks for the story
Jfc a WEEK?!?! The girl I’ve been dating for a few weeks told me about a guy that wanted both of them to delete their dating apps after the third date LMAO. Happy he fkd up like a pussy because I’m pretty into her, wish me luck.
So if he had of backed off and focused on himself you would of gave him another chance?
@@yeahhbuddddyyy3040probably if he had corrected the behavior right away because like she said, she was attracted to him at first. I've been attracted to guys who totally killed my feelings with their needy behavior. One time I went out on a first date with a guy I thought it was cute - but I didn't know him very well. We had a great time and I even said I wanted to see him again. But then over the next week he totally swallowed me up with his presence, blowing up my social media and my text messages. I started to think it was way too much and this guy is going to be a problem. But then all of a sudden he backed off and after a week of not hearing from him, I thought of our fun date. I missed him and reached out to him. He was cool at first and then all of his anxious behavior came back, double texting me, triple texting me, and talking about things like meeting my dad that were WAY jumping the gun since we had only had one date. Then he said something Corey Wayne talks about all the time that really turned me off. He told me he was purposefully giving me space.. geez, we only had one date and he's already "giving me space". This guy is not fun, he's going to be a lot of emotional work! Like Corey Wayne says, don't give the opposing team your playbook. This guy should have chilled out and let me keep thinking he wasn't texting me because he was crushing it at work. Not because it's some insecure game. By the end of the conversation I was sorry I texted him. He went from me being interested and wanting another date to thinking he was way too emotionally unstable, clingy, and I just didn't know him well enough to want to deal with it. Maybe if we had already had a few dates and established a bond 🤷
The relationship has to be her idea!
Had a 1:1 phone session with Corey yesterday. It really helped to get my mind back on track. Remember - avoiding pain now costs you pleasure in the future. This applies to all aspects in life - dating and in your professional life.
Duh that’s common sense 😅
@@user-op8ps1hj2e life is what you make out of it
@@rollingon6358there is no such thing as common sense in our society anymore.
What do you mean? Avoiding pain now= costs you pleasure in the future?
@@alexwoolridge476 when you avoid facing your feelings it ends up dragging you down over time. Thus affecting your future. Hope I helped lol
There's been a consistent theme in these last few videos. I'm back again to remind men everywhere that you don't NEED TO BE HER "BOYFRIEND." Women prefer situation-ships because it keeps them wondering where they stand with you. This is because it communicates that you don't need her. This in turn causes her to doubt her own qualifications to be with you, and will keep her acting right more often.
When she's in such a dreadful state, her only recourse is to constantly think of you. Which will cause her to chase you and be less focused on other guys - even if they are actively pursuing her.
When a woman is focused on one guy, she will commit herself in such a way that she is YOURS, even before you commit to HER.
I've experienced this many times, to the point where women have deleted dating apps on their own volition and SHOWED me, just to drop the hint that they wanted me to choose them.
Y'all are out here becoming boyfriend and girlfriend 3 months in on average, and getting to know the stuff you don't like within a year. TAKE YOUR TIME. Just try it. Do everything you normally would, but make her wait to get the title. Stop being scared of women leaving, and stay abundant so you don't have to smother one girl. As I keep saying, she's not going anywhere (yet).
Everybody needs to internalize this wisdom. You might and probably will go through some pain until it sinks. There is ALWAYS another woman around the corner. And the more you “date” or just radiate your masculine energy to everyone, the more you won’t fall victim to the dopamine hit of infatuation because you have choices, variety abundance.
As I also said in another comment DON’T raise the stakes! Don’t make commitments, love language. Don’t get deep.
Sorry, but you got the system a bit messed up. Sure you need mystery. Especially in the "talking" stage.
But I would recommend you read "way of the superior man"
It's not about making her doubt it insecure about you staying. It's giving her the confidence that she can count on you and that you will stay true to yourself and will go your own path relentlessly.
That's what will get her.
If you do this, the message to her might still be "oh, he might leave me if I misbehave" but it's a whole different point that's coming from.
In the book he also emphasizes to make her feel loved and to tell her that you love her, etc
Also: sure, this works. And it works probably pretty well for you. However is this sustainable?
Further think of it this way: would you want the love of your life, the woman you want to have a family with, constantly have to doubt or wonder whether you stay or not?
Last question. And I mean that in the most sincere and friendly way possible. I want you to think about it and possibly you can grow because if you seek the answer.
How do you feel about yourself when you feel like a woman will only stay with you if you make her wonder where you stand with her?
(This is something I have to ask myself as well, so I really don't mean this as an attack)
@@MonotoniTV that’s AFTER your in a relationship. And it’s a rather advanced stage. Deida talks a lot about the macho stage. WOTSM is a great book. But Coach’s work is getting you to the point where WOTSM works. And I don’t think someone can just skip to WOTSM.
@@MonotoniTV again, this is up until the point where she feels confident in YOU to want an exclusive relationship. The process is getting her to feel confident in YOU to get to that point where SHE wants it. Not a man pressuring or coercing her. Woman don’t like that.
Love the content always coach! Half a year into the recovery process from a tough breakup and to all my fellas who see this message just remember……. You are the man and there’s nothing wrong with being single. They’ll orbit to you naturally 🤙
I noticed the women you daydream or fantasize about you never get a chance with. Or get rejected when a chance arises.
He needs to read the book & get himself & his emotions under control.
She likes him but he's pushing her away by being an insecure control freak
He can read the book yes but he has deep insecurities that are coming unglued by a woman. He's gotta address deeper issues
@@ethanarabia116real
So glad I got myself under control. I’ve recently got my very avoidant ex gf back to how we were at the beginning. After 4 yrs together and moving in. I didn’t make her feel heard and understood. This led to her moving out and a weird intermittent hot and cold talking phase for a YEAR. I gave her a few weeks no contact. When we spoke again, I really focused on not being PERTURBED and my TONE. Since then she has given me so many compliments on how safe she feels with me. I took her feeling safe with me before for granted. Now she’s inviting me over almost every night for indoor Olympics. When I first had problems with her I didn’t like Corey’s way of doing things because I couldn’t let go. Now I’m good. But as coach said. I def got in my own way and cost myself some good times
I will say avoidant women naturally are tough to deal with especially if they've had sexual trauma in the past. You could literally do everything right and naturally they'll pull back or disappear out of nowhere. It isn't for the faint of hearts dealing with avoidant attachment style people and especially women.
When CW brings up “It’s A Wonderful Life” you know the email about to get real 🤣
Something that always used to baffle me in my younger days was how guys (myself included) who worked so hard to be relationship material girls claim to want rarely got the girl yet guys who put forth little/minimal effort in courtship and themselves and often were just textbook definition on paper not relationship/long term partner material yet somehow always won the girl. In a young logical male perspective that just seems so bass ackwards. Now thanks to people like Coach I realize you more often than not have to use backwards logic to be a success with women it makes more sense. Women are just the most illogical creatures on this planet and that’s why so many guys stumble and fail so often when it comes to them.
“Your mindset, your actions , your vibe , everything your giving off is the opposite of what you need to be doing in order to be successful “ 10:00
"Hang out, have fun, have a conversation about a relationship."
Coach. I appreciate the jems you dropping.
I’m Michael
I’m 25 in college, I do lots of running and I’m working to have a more body builder like body
I just finished the 6th round of your book. I’ve been building myself physically and mentally to have the confidence to seduce the women I want (but never need always cuz I’m my own man) like the car analogy. I know what I want. Ever since I started talking to women with confidence. Look at them eye to eye, voice and energy playful yet suave like JB like since monumental progress in myself. Sometimes I do slip up, talk confident at first but then lose my lose my cool a bit when talking to women I view extreme attractive. But then I remember to talk to them same way I would indifferently talk to the ones I’m not attracted too.
I’m starting to realize what it means to earn respect and contribute to prosperity. I can even gauge attraction better as I can see women looking at me and sometimes given the scenario I wave my finger to tell them to come to me. I think I’m getter closer to having the Midas touch.
I want to pay for your coaching session but it’s like a grand so I’ll have to build myself better financially in order to earn that.
Please, however appropriate to your time as a professional; add a comment or make video about ways to gear the mind to steady think cool, calm, collected and copacetic like James Bond or even you for that matter when approaching women. How to slow down the mind so that you know you got it handled. I’ve learned that truly is at the eye of the beholder. And some women are wonderful and fascinating creatures that deserve the 3/100 that know what their doing. On this particular day I achieved sharing the phone and instagram of several women I talked to today. Some were women that I already meet but my evolution seemed to have aroused them. Theirs one that was so hot to me told exactly what I wanted to say. I said your body is banging in a confident and playful way like bond and I said it initially without losing eye confidence. She asked for my name, we shared contacts. However, I said I work out and done modeling. She was impressed by the modeling but That was attention seeking behavior. After I wait a few days how should I text her? I have an idea already but it be great to hear your response.
Thanks for everything Coach
aww man, I messed this up with my ex so bad. It's still a little painful. How I wish I'd brushed up on 3% man at the time. Could have saved us both a lot of heart ache
Guy has clearly watched one video that matched his situation, cherry picked from other videos and then sent an email in in the hope Corey will make a video about it. Everything about this guys mindset is completely beta, needy and controlling.
Thanks for this one Corey, I'm a pretty new student and this one really resonates with me. I'm battling with myself to apply what's in the book so that I don't chase off someone I'm dating at the moment that I really like. I don't have a lot of relationship experience and sometimes I'm in a scarcity mindset, so every good thing that happens with this girl, I feel the need to try and secure that it will happen again, which is obviously not the way to go. I'll keep on reading and thanks for making a video about the things I'm currently struggling with.
This was me with the first woman I dated after divorce. I wish I had found Corey's work before I got in further with her. Things turned around once I did, and if it weren't for my ex-wife making my life difficult by not taking care of her mental health, who knows where it would've went (it scared her off). The point is, read the damn book multiple times, start putting the wisdom to practice. Most of all, leave it to her to bring up the "what are we?" topic, and question what she's getting at when she does. Leave her no choice but to make it clear. Use her cues to know your next move.
How does he know she’s “super active” on hinge?? He must be stalking her profile every few hours to see if her location changes.. sounds pretty obsessive
I wouldn't know how to know this either. Locations should not change and if you are matched it does not tell you when they are last active or anything either. My last ex deleted the app, but not her profile for instance and it kept her in my match list but there were no changes ever to her profile
In my last situationship I constantly saw Hinge on her recently used apps and notifications when she used her phone. I didn't care since I wasn't interested in locking her down but I did notice.
@Dan-cm9ow good observation. My ex always had her phone on silent when she was with me and was a little cagey at times with her phone. Always gave me apprehension
If a person is in your "Standouts" you can see them without really having to swipe and it will show when they were last active.
Women have a highly sensitive intuition they can tell if your genuine and confident or you if desperate and manipulating your way into a relationship which is cringe and auto turn off. They know , be yourself have fun .
Thanks man, I'm wathing a recap on "It's A Wonderful Life" and it just critizes this. You're right, social etiquette has flipped.
The messaging out there is so confusing for men not aware of Coach.
On the dating apps there are women saying, they want a guy who’s looking for commitment and a relationship. She’s saying she’s sick of the guys just wanting ONS’s etc.
To the unsuspecting male brain, he computes this as follows:
Ah, great, I want a relationship, she does too. Great. I’ll be sure to tell her I want commitment and I’m looking for a relationship too and mention I’m not interested in just a ONS.
As soon as he communicates this to her, she pulls back.
Women aren’t helping themselves or men!
In my experience a “controlling ex boyfriend” is a dude that says, “nahh…you can’t bang other dudes when we’re in a relationship.” 😂😂
DeBeers diamond company loves it when you rush to put a ring on it...
Did it ever occur to you, Coach, that these “lazy guys” may have been focusing on things more important than wamman?
On the other hand if they emailed you these sob stories, then maybe not.
Great content as always.
Great video today on the consequences of cherry picking & doing the OPPOSITE of what the book teaches. Lessons learned ✍️💪
I have read 3 % dude many times , it helped me to get my current GF and keep her . I'm 60 she is 58, we are both widowed , have adult kids own our own homes . We spend weekends at each others house , The perfect scenario ? . Now three years into the relationship I'd like to take a step further and maybe move in together only she is happy with the way things are . What is the 3% mans next move ?
Another 58 year old here. Don’t co-habitate. Brief encounters and boatloads of fun makes a successful post-childrearing somethingship.
Remember Coach Corey’s three H’s and you’ll be fine.
Corey You're F'king Hilarious!!! Love it.
Read How to be a 3% Man 10-15 times! It’s an excellent read. Corey simplifies EVERYTHING! My life is so effortless because I do all the right things automatically. I still read the book once a year to stay sharp.
If she's on hinge after 3 months, release her back to the streets
I would agree with coach Corey on this one hook up have fun,hangout. Your video always amazed me 👏👏👏👏👏
I really hope this guy LISTENS to your advice with this one!
The situation is still salvageable at this point.
A very sad situation. Hat in hand puppy with his tail between the legs, controlling, uncentered and a scroll of things that can be continued. Hopefully he takes the same time and effort in writing this email to Read the book 10-15 times.
you are absolutely right with that. Glad I found that one!
Thanks!
Great video. I've heard of your book before but now I'm sold
This is great. I've talked about It's A Wonderful Life in my content. Some of the best references for how women and men should act are portrayed in the older films. These days, it's the exact opposite. It's causing men and women to flake out with eachother. As well as relationships are fizzing out. There are roles to be played. I feel that the roles suit couples best when the man is "the man" and the woman is "the woman" in the relationship. Everything else that's getting thrown at us just causes unnecessary confusion. This is all thanks to the Clown World we live in now. Years of grooming and brainwashing through our media propaganda.
Dude should have been walked away from her. Until a woman is ready for a relationship with you, she is not good for you.
Literally that was Just me....wtf!! Well back to reading the book and dating more...
One minute into the video and I realised that the type of guy he was talking about is me. Lol
Omg the guy really hasnt read his book. I have listened to it a lot but its hard to implement, because I've done it wrong all my life and chased all my life. I need to completely change, and I'm old.
To the dude in this video (or any other): Trying to 'cherry pick' coach Corey's videos is like trying to learn and understand football watching the game only...you could do it, but you will miss some of the finer points and it's going to take awhile...a long while. Coach Corey's book provides you the fast track with the 'plays' already explained and like a good athlete, you drill until you get the skill! How long would it take a novice to understand you have 4 attempts to move the ball 10 yards before you get a 'start over' versus reading that rule in a book? The slowest reader could read that rule faster than someone just watching the plays. Suffer at your peril boys, coach Corey's videos are great accompanying the book, so READ!!
Listen to Corey my fellow Men he will right the ship 🚢
I needed this video, today haha
I was doing the prep thing. It backfired
Shes a party girl bottom line , I dated one never again
Question, my girlfriend asks about 20 times a day if im allright... Why? Just curious
Smile more… fake it till you make it ❤
I’ve read the book 8 times and I feel like I’m having the same problems. But, I’m seeing near 90% of the info is correct. So, I will keep reading.
But, one of the largest issues I am having is that most women near my age (28), want to spend a lot of time texting and when I talk like “I will pick you up” or “I will call you” - they seem turned off. Is this type of dating outdated? I have friends that tell me “modern dating” requires more texting and what not up front. Any opinions help, thanks guys!
Another question I’d like to add is: if this info from coach is as great as we think it is, why is it not more common? And why do most guys reject it? (Aside from the 98% argument). Thanks.
Hey Cody, hope you're having a good day.
On my experience you can take a few measured steps. Don't text just a single one liner ("I'll pick you up at 8" or something), text 2-3 short messages (but not more) try to keep it easy and fun. Don't be like a robot, be playful with your texts. That way you show you're a chilled, fun, centered dude, but you also keep her curiosity level high and she'll want more. She'll quickly learn she has to see you in person to get more of you. By being a guy who consistently shows up on dates while being mysterious and fun she'll always want more and more.
Other thing is be aware of women who want to have a relationship over the phone. They are either time wasters who still enjoy your attention or they could have some deeply rooted issues. You deserve to date healthy women.
Hope this helps!
Nah man, that guy's instinct is right... it's been three months. If she doesn't want to be exclusive and pushing for it (her idea ofc), there is something wrong there. Can be a party/hook up girl (the email hints towards that) or low interest but he should be out asap if he s looking for a long term partner
Exactly 3 months is the starting point and if 8 months later she doesnt bringing it up hit eject
This video should have been named “ The clueless controlling con artist Beta male “
Haha Geesh man… I hope that dude snaps out of it and starts reading the book, before she snaps out of it completely and friend zones him.
Bro needs to hear wild as her by Corey Kent
Hey coach, this is completely off topic, but I want to know from you, what does it take to become rich or even just having enough money? Currently I have a lot of debt, to the point where I can't even live a great life, by going out and having fun. I want to get out of debt and start building some wealth, but I have absolutely no idea where to start. Any advice?
Read Mastering Yourself
Holy shit this guy missed the whole fn point of the book and videos. Respect to him though for reaching out. Best of luck
Never focus on a chick!! Don't make a chick the center of your universe. Don't focus on a chick. And don't put a chick first!! It completely turns them off. You need to focus on and put yourself first!!
What movie was he talking about?
It’s a wonderful life, a Christmas movie
Had a guy friend who did this to me after I broke up. He wouldn't leave me alone when I said I need time to heal from a breakup and didn't want a relationship. He would mansplain me telling me I didn't know what I wanted, I said I don't want you. Ended up threatening a restraining order and blocked him.
dammn
❤🙏
I'm 1st mfs 😂
BS
Damnit
Beta
Nice guys come first
You get the knee pads!
And in the next video, why guys who focus on getting in shape, don't. The biggest mistake you're making is exercising and eating right. Completely ignore your nutrition and fitness and you'll get ripped. Just sit on the couch and you'll be amazed at the results. But go to the gym on a regular basis and you'll be overweight and flabby.
At the end of the day they get this situation everyday and guys get it every so often we have to have so much more patience that it is unacceptable
at this point to where we are are just done with the bullshit i shouldnt have to be rich good looking and be at the gym all time just to get an average looking girl im not asking for the the world!
The healthier the girl is the less of the above you'll need. A self confident and healthy woman who had a good upbringing and has great relationship with her parents won't play stupid games. You are only responsible for 50% of a relationship. You cannot put something there the other party isn't willing/capable to do. The whole world isn't your own responsibilty, but you're responsible to be a good person. Not for others but for yourself.