How schizophrenia took my mother & brother (Part 1) ep6
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- Опубликовано: 2 ноя 2019
- Has this happened to you or someone you know? How has mental illness affected you? Is it related to my depression? My brother had early onset schizophrenia which developed at age 17. My mothers schizophrenia developed in her 30s. This story is told in 2 parts. Part 1 (this episode) is about what happened then part 2 (next episode) is about what we did about it so stay tuned!
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Came to your channel via an ad. I can’t even begin to imagine everything you and your family are going through. Just know you’re in my thoughts. You’re unbelievably strong, and resilient x
Me to
Thank you for the lovely message Kate. ❤️
My story: My boyfriend developed schizophrenia 6 months after we got together, he had a violent episode and came up behind me and shoved me to the ground during an argument, my little finger broke, which was extremely difficult for me because I went through extremely violent domestic abuse 10 years earlier, it triggered my own mental health I had been ignoring, and I declined into complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder... that night he tried to kill himself with a machete because he hurt me and felt bad, due to all his yelling all the neighbours called the police, and I did too when I hid in my car because I knew he needed help and I was scared he might hurt me with the machete, next minute I hear sirens while he is sitting in the driveway with the machete screaming 'why can't I just kill myself' and I was locked in my car... I knew if they turned up while he was holding the knife they might shoot him, so I sucked up my fear, unlocked the car and said 'you better throw that into the garden right now and get in this car I will take you to hospital, otherwise you will go to jail.' he agreed, on the way to the hospital somehow the 8 police cars that passed us knew it was him, and they stopped us, he got out and ran... they went after him, but when they caught him they got an ambulance to come because as they chased after him I yelled 'please don't hurt him he is having a psychosis' ... anyway long story short, I stayed, sometimes in fear, but he never hit or shoved me again and I knew his moment of violence was not because he was going to be domestically abusive, but because of the situation, and it felt like it was an isolated incident, but I lived in fear it might happen again, I only stayed so far because... it didn't.
The next year was filled with weekly visits to social workers for him, while trying to get my own help, but that year all I got was a Dr who wouldn't listen and two separate counsellors who kept rescheduling so I only got 2 sessions and they were useless, and judgemental, it wasn't until the following year I actually found a Dr who referred me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me and I've been seeing a good psychologist for about 6 months now that is actually starting to help me stabilise, and I will continue to see them monthly next year for about 10 months til my free sessions run out.
We have both been to hell and back, but we clung to each other through this mental storm, and we helped (but sometimes hindered) each other along the way, sometimes we triggered each other, but the support was worth more than any small fights or misunderstandings, and we have learnt how to keep things calm now by the communication style we use, also positive reinforcement is important, giving praise for the good things done such as when he puts rubbish out but it took him 2 weeks, give praise and he will do it more, but if you start nagging 'are you ever going to help around here' it triggers the voices that tell him he is useless and to die, also recognising when the other is triggered or needs downtime to zone out into coping mechanisms such as watching youtube for hours lol, and to leave them alone until they are ready to engage again. Life is peaceful and full of love now, but it took 2 years and going to hell and back and sometimes visiting it briefly again to get here.
The hardest part apart from the episodes, the fear, the uncertainty, has been the isolation... not being able to talk about it, trying to explain to his family how his illness affects him, but they don't fully understand, they say things like 'what have you been doing all day, gaming on your computer I suppose' and the answer is yes because if he doesn't engage in coping mechanisms he gets psychosis and can possibly hurt himself or others, but they don't get how that is a passive aggressive even insulting thing to say to someone who is mentally ill and that is all they are capable of doing all day. The disease is a ticking time bomb always waiting to go off if triggered. They don't get it, they want him to visit at xmas but he can't leave the house or he has a meltdown, it's true we have bald tires anyway but even if I wanted to drive him 2 hours to visit family I run the risk of him being triggered, talking in a mean tone of voice, then I say 'dont talk to me like that' and then he tries to get out of a moving car on the freeway, then all the way he says 'just take me home' and if I just take him anyway thinking he will be ok, he won't, he has psychosis the whole time. I don't even think they have watched a youtube video about 'what is schizophrenia & psychosis' I tried to share some links on facebook to his mum and nan but nobody commented or liked it.
When I asked his mum what Dr's help he has had, because she said he was always like this, she literally said to me 'we tried to help but then we were sick of his bullshit' they gave up on him because they lacked patience and understanding and that only made it worse they let him be homeless and in fact that is what really made his condition manifest and decline. But despite the hardships I am glad we found each other, we are both there for the mood swings, and we support as best we can, and we don't hold grudges if the other talks down to us, because sometimes my condition means I am annoyed being interrupted when I am into something... same with him, so it has to be like 'water off a ducks back' you cant be too sensitive if the other one is having a moment, you just let it go and move on. The happy times outweigh the sad ones now and we know (for the most part) how to avoid the triggers so things have been stable about 6 months now. But as I said - it is a ticking time bomb, always waiting to go off, and you never know what outside influence might trigger it no matter how hard you try you cant protect yourself from everything and you need to learn to cope in hard times too without it declining into full on 'I'm going to kill myself' moments...
I hope sharing my story has helped someone - I just want people to know they are not alone, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just that it can be a very long dark ride into that tunnel until you get out the otherside tha'ts all, and those waiting usually have no idea how hard it was for you to make it.
I liked reading that hope it gets better
Thank you for this detailed explanation
Saw this in my recommendations and was shocked. Lost my brother and mother to same illness and my nam is Johnny
Nice to meet you Johnny 👊
@@WheresJonny you to buddy
Weird I found this today. My mum and both of my brothers had schizophrenia. I just found out this week my younger brother died from heart failure in his flat in January but he wasn't found until March and the council only found his son through Facebook to let him know on Monday. I hadn't seen my brother for 35 years, his choice not mine. We didn't have a fall out, always got on when we were together, I took care of him while he was growing up because mum wasn't able to. Mum had paranoid schizophrenia which made her look for all sorts of strange things she believed would cure her. Including having all her teeth taken out. My elder brother had delusions of grandeur and was fine with anyone who went along with his theories but was vile to anyone who didn't. He died from bowel cancer 4 years ago. I hadn't seen him for 25 years. So I am the only one left, which I am finding strange to get my head around at the moment. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
Lost my mother and 2 of my 3 brothers to paranoid schizophrenia. I was the oldest child. My mother was 14 when I was born and she was a raging paranoid schizophrenic by the time she was 19. I’m 72 now. My remaining brother is finally maturing into an adult at 65 years old. My sister is chronically ill and severely depressed. I had a breakdown at 45 and was on disability for 20 years. I was on meds and in therapy every month, all that time. I weaned myself off all the meds about 4 years ago. I was the only one who was able to survive our childhood.
At least your mom still loved you….hugged you. My mothers been mentally gone for about 15 years. Hasn’t ever called me to wish happy birthday, doesn’t even know her grandchildren. I think what makes it worse overall is the fact that she did love me once a lot, we had good laugh, I had a good childhood. God knows I wish I could just go back to when she was sane and herself. I’m reminded everyday seeing mothers all over giving their children affection, something I will never get again. I’ve always felt lost since, and hurt. But I also love my mother so much.
I’m so sorry 😐
It really makes me touch to reality.
I can’t believe you pulled through that. I can’t say I’ve been through that same experience but I can say that you have to be really strong to pull through that. Thanks for all the videos they are so good🤘
You're most welcome. Thanks for watching 😊
Your videos are so beautifully edited ❤️
Thank you Sanja
amazingly strong young man x
Thank you
Love your videos..Your an Amazing young man!God Bless you an your family❤Look forward to part 2..
thank you 😊
Mental, emotional and physical well being is at the core of the human experience which is also personally spiritual, and while each one of all has our own struggles and triumphs, it’s very helpful to hear about other people’s efforts at overcoming and healing. Good luck and god luck to each of us on our journeys. May the journeys be filled with peace and hope and resilience. Thank you for sharing your story.
My brother was a very talented kid too (way more talented than I) and when he got to teenage-hood he took drugs and was diagnosed schizophrenia at 22. I have other family members who also have gotten schizophrenia from drug taking.. my mother’s sister and her son, and my uncles daughter (on my mums side) When I had some genetic testing done for another reason, the lab results told me I have a variant in a gene that can cause schizophrenia.. I was shocked because I thought of my brother who has it. The gene is SMARCA2 and I have a rare variation of it that is heritable. I will always wonder if my brother carries it.. he would never agree to testing. I have 4 sons and I tell them they are at higher risk of getting schizophrenia so don’t smoke drugs or take any.
You re doing awesome
did you know the medical world is divided 50/50 about whether drugs cause schizophrenia or if it is just that 'most schizophrenics use drugs to self medicate' recent studies are finding it's the latter... only a small percentage of people get 'drug induced psychosis' and that is what makes the others who keep using it look bad. But if you have drug induced psychosis you literally cannot take it, or end up in psych ward each time, if someone is 'able to use it' ongoing... then it is most definitely NOT the cause of their schizophrenia just something they use to medicate it.
Then if they go a bit cranky when they can't get their cannabis we judge them, but the same thing happens when they go off their anti psychotic medication and we don't judge them for those episodes... so of course it is going to affect them when they can't get it. If they keep taking it then clearly it is helping them, and it is inhumane to deny someone something that helps them ease their pain, so I feel like the whole 'cannabis causes schizophrenia' notion needs to be debated, because it is not only incorrect, but refuted by most of the medical world, it's just that about 40% still have old school beliefs because they dont keep up with latest research. Also considering the law has been changing around medical and recreational use I don't think we should be judging people as much anymore for their use of drugs, especially if like I said - it is medicinally helping their condition. Yes you are correct though, some people have a gene making them allergic, but that doesn't mean that cannabis causes schizophrenia in everyone, or even in everyone who has that gene. I know someone in the UK who has it, and doesn't touch cannabis, but I know a family member of theirs with same gene does. So it is all relevant.
Thanks for letting me have a say. I think we should have open mind and be educated about this but also not to 'generalise'. I have half a heamochromatosis gene too... but none of my sisters have it... so not all genetic traits pass to all kids. I wish you well and good luck with your nephew.
I can definitely sympathize with you, regarding this crippling mental disorder. I tragically lost my older brother Nelson three months ago with his on going battle with Schizophrenia for the last twenty plus years. Thank you for sharing your story with individuals that have endured family members suffering from this illness.There definitely needs to be more awareness centered around this mental illness, that way individuals that are diagnosed with Schizophrenia can feel more comfortable to talk about it publicly.
Show this on ad so I thought I’ll just watch this and as soon as I watched it my heart just sanked so hard I started tearing watching this so I subscribed straight away look forward for your new videos ❤️ all the way fm Torres Straits🌺
Thank you Bing
I just wanted to say how much I loved watching your video. I really appreciate what you have created from such heartache, really hit me x
Thank you for sharing. My Mom suffered from mental illness as well.
What a beautiful and authentic storyteller you are, Jonathan! Love how you capture and present your content. You are a real artist! These videos will give people hope (-:
I hope so! Thank you lovely 😊
Mad love from Wellington NZ bro. I know a couple people who struggle with this, thanks for your educational video. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.
You're most welcome! Thanks for the love Jesse same to you ❤️
I am grateful for this. Thank you.
Jonny I really understand you god bless you are
A tough guy,I love you I subscribed and liked , notified
Thank you Michael 🙏
My brother had schizophrenia brought on my drug use ... sadly, he died last year. He's finally at peace now.
Hugs to you
Amazing story and editing.
So very sorry to hear... I was also raised with a schitzophrenic mother and so was she with no help... Not when you are poor😭😭😭
😢❤
Wow what an amazing video!!!!
This is a truly amazing video x
Thats a lovely thing to say. Thank you Livvy
I was in floods while watching the whole of this 2nd saddest thing I’ve ever watched in my life hope your ok xxxx
Thank you for sharing your story❤️Ended up here, was again looking for relatable stories since my dad and two of my siblings have been diagnosed. I have lived my life with them..throughout our childhood years dad was very sick and not getting help. It left me feeling akward around everybody outside my family,since early on I realized my family is different from others and we are outsiders trying to hide a secret.. Does anyone else experience this? I feel like an 👽
I’ll be thinking about you and your family and the strength all of you were gifted with💕
Thank you
You are a truly lovely human being.
great episode my bro.
👊
God bless you mate and your family
Same to you Gareth
Shot brother, doing well man keep it up. Howd the new owners like the chocolate hahaha.
haha they loved it mate black forest 👌
As I was saying… this extremely hard to Digest… My oldest son was Robbed to Schizophrenia… we’ve lived through this for years, I realized his father was also, my younger son and I live through the disorganized nightmare that has plagued my older Son….Very disturbing
I wish you the best. I will pray for you
Heartbreaking, please know you are not alone in dealing with mentally ill family members.😢
Respect.
👊
❤️
This is extremely tough to digest… my Son is Lost
400th like🥰
👏
My mum is in and out of mental hospitals cause she has schizophrenia:(
I know that feeling. Im so sorry to hear that you poor thing
We are here for you!
i need help. My brother has schizophrenia and is rejecting everyone. I know he will end up killing himself and his torment is driving me crazy. I love him and hate seeing him like this but his pride and ego is destroying him he does not want to seek help nor see anyone nor talk to anyone. How do i go about this
My brother was exactly the same bro. He passed away before I was able to learn the things you're asking. But the one thing I know about my brother now, is that he wasn't depressed or suicidal. He was stubborn. He just wanted to live his life the way he wanted. His passing was due to an asthma attacked which triggered a heart attack.
My mother also has Schizophrenia. She's been in and out of the institution a number of times. She takes her medication and thats the only thing that gives her momentary peace. I'm sorry I cant help. I understand how hard it is to deal with. One thing I do to make life better, is try to enjoy the small moments when ever possible.
@@WheresJonny your like me. my whole life has been a disaster since birth. I suffer also bad with negative self thoughts and depression but God is healing me slowly. Yes my brother is very prideful and stubborn. He doesnt talk to any of us just walks by and does not acknowledge anyone. But so weird he is reallly active and very hands on always working on something. I have a gut feeling he will take his life. I know the gun he bought 5 years ago is not for protection but an easy way out
@@AbletonLiveTechs Before my brother passed, he was also a very hands on person. He liked to fix cars and anything mechanical. I regret not having more conversations with him about the things he liked to do. I wish I joked around with him more. I was young and forgot to see the person beyond his ailments. I forgot to just be his brother. Eventually he ignored me too. I guess he was tired of the same shitty conversations? Idk. Hang in there my dude. I still have depression but things get better. They really do. I listened to your music its soo good man. Do you have any goals around that?
@@WheresJonny yea and recently i noticed how important it is to love more. In the end we all wish we loved more since our family is all we have. stick with your mother and love her everyday like its the last. I made a mistake i should have followed thru and pursued my passion. I listened to others telling me to get a real job so i did and put this aside :/ . My suggestion for you and your mom is try to get closer to God. Read the word also search for a christian church that does deliverance :) or even check out testimonys on schizophrenia deliverance! I will pray for her and you. God loves you and will always be there for you
Would you be able to go to your doctor or hospital with your brother? They will assess him and prescribe anti psychotic medication which has improved so much. If your brother won’t go to a doctor you could contact his doctor and explain the situation. Your brother is extremely unwell and is at risk of suicide. If he is taking drugs or drinking the situation is even worse. My brother would relapse every so often as he stopped his daily medication so the local community nurse would visit him at home every 3 weeks to inject anti psychotic medication. My brother used to complain that the injection was painful as it was given in the buttock muscle for slow release. Many people with this horrible illness can work etc.
Listen to them do not lock them away!!!!!!!!!!
Where are you now ? Do you need help ??
What is going on now 2024? I care!
The voices both of them hearing. those are the people from the other side, far far away from this environment. Are using this thing that can comes across threw electricity, to repeating my wards. And people from this environment or people your environment, none of them knows those people. Strange voices
Wait did they die?
It’s been 3 years since you asked, I hope you are still alive and haven’t died a painful slow death with bowel cancer or some other equally horrible illness.
Fuckin MINTTTTTTT
;
Why are you advertising this??
Hi Princess Pie, Mental Health issues are for the most part invisible and thus can feel isolating. This content is for people to connect to. To let them know that they are not alone and that although it may not seem so, there are many of us who struggle with these challenges in life. This content is also educational intended to provide insights to how these issues can effect us laterally through familes and out though communities.
The one who created you would not give you more then you can handle. Have you ever heard of the Quran? Have you ever read It? It can help you and your family.
Jesus and His love is the answer 😌♥️ 1 Peter 2:24
@@Esther-fh4lf I worship the one and only god who created Jesus.
He does not need you’ll religion he needs meds
@@goldenstar9379 we are all born into differnt families with different religions beliefs and illnesses. We all have our own tests. It's good to search for tge truth in everything try differnt things. Not just follow blindly what everyone else does. Everyone has a mind and can think and try things for them selfs and choose what they wish to do.
Penelope Lopez sometimes meds don’t really help. Yes it might help but it can make people suffer emotional pain. His brother needs to find the only thing that will help him cope it can be god or something else.