I'm in psychosis right now

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  • Опубликовано: 12 май 2024
  • I dunno, just watch the video.
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Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @LivingWellwithSchizophrenia
    @LivingWellwithSchizophrenia  11 месяцев назад +130

    JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
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    • @juanitagranillo1747
      @juanitagranillo1747 11 месяцев назад +8

      My daughter just got diagnosed with this and it's been very hard to understand what she's going through
      .she thinks I'm her worse enemy, that I steal from her and take her personal belongings. I'm not sure what to do.

    • @mattx9260
      @mattx9260 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@juanitagranillo1747 first remind your daughter that her personal belonging you bought it. tell her to knock that shit off, if she wants to go she can leave at anytime. let her schizo side that you have a boundery.

    • @morningfrost4638
      @morningfrost4638 11 месяцев назад +8

      .Psalm 34:18
      The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit
      ❤️🙏

    • @bruggeman672
      @bruggeman672 11 месяцев назад +5

      Well done. You're doing a great service here trying to educate people about this all too common affliction. Your courage is a testament to your character. I can honestly say I wouldn't have the courage to post my own episodes despite that it is important people see and understand what this illness is actually like for those of us who must live with it. I only wish I could do more to support you.

    • @matilda4406
      @matilda4406 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@bruggeman672 How much do you think is medication induced ?

  • @Chelleynichole
    @Chelleynichole 11 месяцев назад +8545

    I’m a clinician at a psychiatric hospital, and I just wanted to tell you that videos like this are incredibly helpful for providers like me. Your vulnerability is a gift to others, and it informs the care I provide to people experiencing psychosis. It’s a privilege to learn from you ❤

    • @nadiaraikin8102
      @nadiaraikin8102 11 месяцев назад +88

      You are a clinician and you truly believe that this woman is “in psychosis now?” Then I am sorry but you do not know what psychosis is. When someone is psychotic they can not speak that rationally. She seems like a great actress.

    • @isaaccardenas8829
      @isaaccardenas8829 11 месяцев назад +441

      @@nadiaraikin8102 I’m trying to judge you too hardly right now but your comment makes it really hard. I assume you have no idea or have never experienced psychosis yourself. Educate yourself please

    • @daniellakarenina8634
      @daniellakarenina8634 11 месяцев назад +29

      @@nadiaraikin8102 i agree. Its fake

    • @melissaschroeder1670
      @melissaschroeder1670 11 месяцев назад +406

      Psychosis is a spectrum. One can’t typically perceive it from the outside.

    • @peterboyd7149
      @peterboyd7149 11 месяцев назад +284

      Generalizing about a mental illness says to me you have no clue about mental illness. Psychosis may affect different people in different ways unless you are saying psychosis affects the vocal chords?

  • @MrTigerlore
    @MrTigerlore 11 месяцев назад +2441

    She’s working so hard. This is the most under-control psychotic state I’ve ever seen. I know were not seeing the really bad stuff; but the fact that she can make this video during psychosis is no small feat.

    • @LeyasLife
      @LeyasLife 11 месяцев назад +174

      She definitely has a lot of insight into her illness. Which is amazing. Most ppl with schizophrenia lack insight and some have no insight that they actually have schizophrenia. Again I believe she has put in a lot of work and has amazing support so she can concentrate on her illness.

    • @christinewilliams5189
      @christinewilliams5189 11 месяцев назад +46

      You give so much hope to others!

    • @meganhenry5795
      @meganhenry5795 11 месяцев назад +56

      Absolutely. She's incredible person. I hope she sees that. She brings so much peace to all who struggle with mental health.

    • @YourFutureExWife
      @YourFutureExWife 11 месяцев назад +58

      It’s so great to see a group of people being so supportive instead of trying to rip her to shreds during such a challenging time. ❤

    • @LeyasLife
      @LeyasLife 11 месяцев назад +9

      @@YourFutureExWife I agree !!

  • @hushmychild6745
    @hushmychild6745 5 месяцев назад +188

    Thank god people like you exist and share this so openly. Please never stop being you.

  • @jewelleryaddict
    @jewelleryaddict 4 месяца назад +65

    I understand. With chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia 30 yrs I look picture of health. I work hard to look ok, it makes me feel better but people think if I am out and look ok I am ok. They don't see me in bed about 50 to 70% of the time. This video is good for those who suffer with what you have. Many of us understand. Even without your illness. You are very brave.

  • @mountainmolerat
    @mountainmolerat 11 месяцев назад +721

    I'm a psychotherapist and have had the privilege of working with lots of folks who experience psychosis. Sharing yourself during such a vulnerable time is the opposite of weak or shameful - it's courageous and generous and deserving of gratitude and respect.

    • @BoltBandicoot
      @BoltBandicoot 9 месяцев назад +10

      That's really nice.

    • @BIBLE-a-s-m-r
      @BIBLE-a-s-m-r 9 месяцев назад +8

      True.

    • @bissboos3669
      @bissboos3669 8 месяцев назад +2

      Exactly !

    • @dawnwalker398
      @dawnwalker398 6 месяцев назад +4

      You are an inspiration to me as I respect your courage & devotion to providing awareness of your personal life & symptoms you deal with from Schizophrenia

    • @deefromott
      @deefromott Месяц назад

      I doubt you've ever had a patient with schizophrenia. This woman is perfectly mentally healthy. For her, schizophrenia apparently means not putting on your make up.

  • @fabiannavarro6611
    @fabiannavarro6611 11 месяцев назад +1245

    I’m 21 years old. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar disorder 2 years ago. Thank you for making me feel less alone with your videos

    • @paulflint6254
      @paulflint6254 11 месяцев назад +18

      I have that too, its hell.

    • @Mai.glith69
      @Mai.glith69 11 месяцев назад +8

      @@paulflint6254 what do u hear feel and see?

    • @sarvaise
      @sarvaise 11 месяцев назад +10

      My dad has the same but he abuses substances. Do I just lose hope or how do I help with the paranoia? He thinks that there are cameras all over his apartment. What do I do

    • @llawliet8338
      @llawliet8338 11 месяцев назад +23

      ​@@sarvaiseMy gut reaction would be to share your concern about his health with him but I'm almost certain he would react defensively and aggressively so I wouldn't rush into that. It's in my experience fathers have a sense of pride and responsibility to not be seen or told as weak, even when they show weakness, so of course in pointing out 'weakness' they will be defensive. As for what you can currently do, take him seriously in his fears but dont entertain them. For example, promote distilling the fear but not extending it. Offer to check for the cameras, sweep the house and calm the immediate fear, but when the paranoia comes up again, keep reminding of logic (such as hes been in the house the whole time its not possible for them to be there , or its physically impossible for cameras to be hidden in walls without it being apparent ect ect) as to why its not the case instead of repeatedly checking the house time and time again. Calm but not entertain/encourage. This will hopefully let him feel that you're not against him, that you can be trusted so when it comes time to take future steps in help, he wont have so many walls up (hopefully). Im assuming alot here about both him and the situation so take it all with a grain of salt. If you notice things getting worse, reach out to a anonymous helpline and ask them as professional volunteers (if thats the case in your country) what you should do, they might say to refer him for a hospital stay, or for you to talk to him about it depending on your safety (again i have no clue your situation, im just going by my mentally unwell father experience) Sometimes, there is no convincing a parent as their child, and thats something you have to accept as not your responsibility. You are not responsible for his health no matter what traditions might disagree. Theres only so much you can do, and if it even remotely crosses your mind, take care of yourself first. Like i said, dont take this as bible advice, just some thoughts from personal experience on similar situations and as a schizoaffective myself. Hope it helps though

    • @matjazcigut4589
      @matjazcigut4589 11 месяцев назад +13

      sometimes it feels like all we need to do is to learn to live with psychosis. I mean all people every now and then get somewhat psychotic, whether they smoke weed or just think about something, someone a bit too hard. but when we're really psychotic, us schizophrenics, I think it's way more intense than with healthy people and it's near impossible to go on just living like it's normal for weeks, even days. next time it happens to me, which may be soon just because I'm gonna post this comment, I'm gonna remind everyone that I didn't want this for my life, that I was never in control of my life, that the disease limited me, that I didn't have no support, that I was on my own for way over a decade, that there's things that can't be fixed anymore, that I've been robbed of so many things, like celebrating birthdays, new years, having sex, kissing and being in love, enjoying marijuana, having a good time in amsterdam (where I went two times), having a good time in college, how empty all these years have been, for many years I listened to a very limited catalogue of songs, seen very little movies, clicked on very few videos on youtube... and it's all because of schizophrenia. I'm gonna remind them where they were at 20 years old and where I was, I'm gonna remind them where they were at 23 years old and where I was, where they were at 27 years old and so on and so forth. how many times they've been to Ljubljana or Maribor, or London or Prague, or the sea, how many joints they smoked and enjoyed, the home parties they've been in compared to my miserable empty life. and how I'll never have that cause I'll never be young again. I can't go study now and have that life, I'll be 14 years older than everyone else in first semester, shit, much older than everyone going for their masters degree. how my brother, mum, dad, grandmas could have had a different life hadn't I gotten schizophrenia, how our home could be more lively, with people coming in, like girlfriends and friends... maybe my brother and I would both have families by now. and they laughed at me, they laughed at me djing music for them. when I just didn't know what's really going on, didn't see how things are, was deep down in the plato's cave. and I'll tell them that I did go to the psychotherapy of psychosis department of the clinic in Ljubljana and how, in my eyes, they embarassed themselves. it was supposed to be "the best thing we have in slovenia" but it turned out to be total bullshit. and why do I have schizophrenia? if people did this to me, let people fix it. if God did this to me, let God fix it. why should I put in the work? they say I should do this and that, it's all baby steps, it's all hard, nothing makes sense, like why tf should I stress myself, when it's not my fault, it was not my decision, my plan, that I've gotten mentally ill. looking back, I couldn't have done a thing differently than I did, cause I was the way I was, functioning the way I was at that time. the question is, could they have done some things differently than they did.

  • @daynerbarrera3774
    @daynerbarrera3774 8 месяцев назад +88

    My dear, you are amazing. I have worked as a clinical psychologist for 20 + years, and you rarely see a person who is suffering from psychosis with such a degree of insight and awareness. What you just did in this video requires courage, reflects a remarkable sense of self-engagement and self-commitment, and is quite helpful for those people who suffer from a chronic psychiatric condition and those who deal with mental patients on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your perspective on such a complex matter. My best wishes to you and I hope you feel 100% fine soon.

  • @rileysnyder9303
    @rileysnyder9303 8 месяцев назад +66

    Dang. When I’m in psychosis I would have no clue how to turn on a camera, talk to it, and upload it. No one can even understand what I’m trying to say at those times. Your awareness and insight is incredible.

    • @veritehunter2191
      @veritehunter2191 7 месяцев назад +2

      Psychosis is not just hearing voices, its any break with reality. This included derealization, depersonalzation and dissoation.

    • @No-xs1no
      @No-xs1no 7 месяцев назад +3

      She's just acting for the views 😒

    • @rosietheriveter1
      @rosietheriveter1 3 месяца назад +2

      ​@@No-xs1noI agree 100%!!!

    • @shieh.4743
      @shieh.4743 Месяц назад +3

      ​@@No-xs1noUm. No. She is amazing and super transparent and does well much of the time. As someone with multiple family members with her disorder, she is very obviously NOT faking her diagnosis - even if it makes you feel better to think so. She is currently working publicly with a care team that is the leading group of researchers in bipolar and schizophrenia. They wouldn't put their own credibility on the line without a clear and definitive diagnosis.

    • @MooooonDemon
      @MooooonDemon Месяц назад

      you are a nobody@@No-xs1no

  • @magenta22
    @magenta22 11 месяцев назад +1647

    Please do not feel embarrassed. I appreciate your openness. You're helping my teen dtr, and you're helping me understand what my daughter goes through. We're grateful to you.

    • @wanyatelborn
      @wanyatelborn 11 месяцев назад +25

      Absolutely! Thanks for saying this ❤

    • @NF40375
      @NF40375 11 месяцев назад +27

      Same here
      Helping my son
      Helping me understand my son

    • @margiemurphy3336
      @margiemurphy3336 11 месяцев назад +4

      I wish u could get into see your
      Doctor

    • @MsMadman05
      @MsMadman05 11 месяцев назад +3

      Agreed thank you for being honest. I appreciate your full transparency. It helps me understand my son better

    • @labrat5150
      @labrat5150 11 месяцев назад +13

      Hear in Texas I am scared to be open. And knowing I can't be honest with my doctor. Because they would lock me up people don't understand psych hospitals are prisons essentially prisons

  • @amcname494
    @amcname494 11 месяцев назад +763

    The pain in your eyes, it just . . . I ache for you. and I will always support you and your channel.

    • @michellehendey6721
      @michellehendey6721 11 месяцев назад +12

      Really well put. I can see the same thing in my sister's eyes and my heart aches too

  • @dm3988
    @dm3988 8 месяцев назад +80

    My mother had paranoid psychosis; your behavior mirrors my mother's behavior. This video explains so much. Thank you

    • @kristenwalker3068
      @kristenwalker3068 4 месяца назад +5

      What is she doing? I don't notice anything. I'm trying to understand.

    • @thirtythreehz
      @thirtythreehz 4 месяца назад +2

      @@kristenwalker3068i assume the constant zoning out etc

  • @JingleBellsBarky
    @JingleBellsBarky 9 месяцев назад +153

    What an amazing work you do, Lauren. My son is just now beginning to recover from a psychotic episode, the first one he has had while fully on his medication. It was so frightening. He was however, under stress at work, not getting adequate sleep for months, and had increased his smoking and caffeine intake to compensate and self medicate. It was the worst break wa have seen him have. He is 42. His symptoms began just like yours and at the same age. He also attempted suicide at 23 and was hospitalized. He has never received the correct diagnosis and after watching and listening to you, I know now what it is. I believed he had schizophrenia as soon as I saw what medication they put him on in that first hospital visit and looked up what it was used for. They put him on several meds with no results until they put him on Abilify. It was brand new then and it was a miracle for him. He had stopped talking entirely, was completely stoic, no crying, no laughing. He has been medication compliant since that time in 2005. He is 42 years old. Married. No children. A beloved child of ours and also beloved brother to 7 siblings and uncle to many nieces and nephews that he is so fond of. He too had a happy and rather carefree childhood. Other than temper tantrums as an infant and toddler, we never saw anything to indicate something was wrong. Thank you so much for sharing your life with me. It has helped enormously.

    • @RestfulRoom
      @RestfulRoom 6 месяцев назад +5

      Please try gratitude. I've read one Jewish book about gratitude: people wrote about how they didn't have something, wanted it so much, and they started practicing gratitude for about half an hour/hour each day. And they got what they wanted! Heavens are very generous. Remember this please: 'Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.'

    • @toddm6999
      @toddm6999 3 месяца назад

      ​@RestfulRoom why do religious people always come in and throw this as an antidote or fix for complex brain issues
      ...one could question why did God even give people mental illness ?
      As well I have personally seen how religions destroy people with mental illness ...I think you should just listen and respect this dear woman's testimony .I pray religion is taxed to the stomeage where it belongs.

    • @kellywhitaker3631
      @kellywhitaker3631 2 месяца назад +1

      Ha n g in there. My son has this same illness. His episodes used to be so scary. If you ever need advice please reach out. I'd love to give you support. Schizophrenia is so cruel. We need each other support.

    • @animalshaverights127
      @animalshaverights127 16 дней назад

      Its an illness just like any physical disease. It should be looked at it that way.

  • @cynthiaclick9381
    @cynthiaclick9381 11 месяцев назад +413

    My mother was schizophrenic. I think the paranoia is a huge part of the disease. You are incredibly wise to see it. Hugs to you.

    • @aprilmingone3271
      @aprilmingone3271 11 месяцев назад

      So is mine.

    • @ronniebattle1310
      @ronniebattle1310 11 месяцев назад

      @@aprilmingone3271 Encounter Ministries RUclips channel. Mark Hemans==

    • @perrycoffey5410
      @perrycoffey5410 11 месяцев назад

      @@aprilmingone3271 so was mine as well it seemed

    • @aprilmingone3271
      @aprilmingone3271 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@perrycoffey5410 awe it’s hard being the kid of someone suffering from this isn’t it?! You wanna help the best you can but try why have to try too.

    • @user-pz5mu4rd8w
      @user-pz5mu4rd8w 6 дней назад

      Yes the paranoia is the hard bit to understand.

  • @norbeaster784
    @norbeaster784 11 месяцев назад +993

    Because of you I'm going to be more honest with my doctor about what I am experiencing. Your video isn't pointless, because I know that feeling. I feel like half a ghost. You got this.

    • @junemoonchild69
      @junemoonchild69 11 месяцев назад +50

      Be honest, but be careful. Psychiatrists are caring doctors, but they are required by law, depending upon what you say and the specific words you use, to admit you to a psychiatric ward or hospital...and once this happens, you will lose all your rights to choose if you want to stay there, what medications they'll make you take while you're in there, and most importantly, when you will be permitted to leave, if ever. Your situation and feelings are valid, but I would simply suggest finding a person, place and way to help yourself that's not affiliated with the state government. I love you and you are not a ghost and you just need LOVE from elsewhere. ♡♡♡♡

    • @carlgriffith4660
      @carlgriffith4660 10 месяцев назад +10

      @@junemoonchild69 Excellent advise!!!

    • @Steve76777
      @Steve76777 10 месяцев назад +19

      @@junemoonchild69 Great advice. Wish I had that advice 10 years ago. Sad that psychiatry cares more about controlling us than helping us.

    • @dramatriangle
      @dramatriangle 9 месяцев назад +4

      Been there.

    • @norbeaster784
      @norbeaster784 9 месяцев назад +5

      @@junemoonchild69 Thank you, I really needed that man. Love you too whoever you are across the world! Stay safe!

  • @louellenb
    @louellenb 5 месяцев назад +25

    As a nurse and someone that struggles with mental wellness, you are extraordinary!!! Thank you for sharing you!

  • @snoozyq9576
    @snoozyq9576 9 месяцев назад +23

    It makes me mad that people have to deal with this. I had psychosis just once and it was the worst experience. Praying for your healing ❤

    • @lolohilwa22
      @lolohilwa22 7 месяцев назад

      I’m glad you healed!!What kind of psychocic did you have? How long did it last.
      My roommate is currently in caffeine and nicotine induced psychosis 😢 I did know this kind even existed.

  • @TaterKakez
    @TaterKakez 11 месяцев назад +449

    I don’t have schizophrenia, but I struggle with my own cocktail of mental illnesses. I understand and share the feeling of embarrassment when I am deep in my disorders, but just know that NONE of us are judging you with anything other than amazement, awe and admiration. You are self aware and able to share with SO many and help others in ways you (and I!) can’t imagine.
    Love and protection to you 💜🧿💜

    • @AngelaVEdwards
      @AngelaVEdwards 11 месяцев назад +4

      Yep. Very true.

    • @Carol-vp3hc
      @Carol-vp3hc 11 месяцев назад +9

      She is very self aware, and so are you. It's not easy to admit sometimes we're not ok. Some are afraid of being judged. I don't worry about what others think. When my brain feels like scrambled eggs, I'm open about it. I won't hide how I'm feeling. If people are uncomfortable, that's ok. I don't expect everyone to jump on the, Carol, bandwagon. But I won't pretend to be someone I'm not.

    • @cynthiapeterson2740
      @cynthiapeterson2740 11 месяцев назад +1

      🙏❤️🙏

    • @nickmills8476
      @nickmills8476 11 месяцев назад +3

      She has great courage to open up like this

    • @ronniebattle1310
      @ronniebattle1310 11 месяцев назад

      @@Carol-vp3hc Encounter Ministries RUclips channel. Mark Hemans==

  • @lilnuggetheadd
    @lilnuggetheadd 11 месяцев назад +347

    Say it out loud THIS IS NOT MY FAULT. Your self awareness is your strength. There is bravery in asking for help. 🖤

  • @KimberlyJose-si2sv
    @KimberlyJose-si2sv 24 дня назад +64

    I could remember several years ago, I got diagnosed with cptsd. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

    • @KicksConceptsshoes
      @KicksConceptsshoes 24 дня назад +3

      Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

    • @Malikrooney-hq5jj
      @Malikrooney-hq5jj 24 дня назад +2

      Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them

    • @SusanaGomez-mp8sk
      @SusanaGomez-mp8sk 24 дня назад +4

      YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @Edennnn926
      @Edennnn926 24 дня назад +1

      Mushrooms are very medicinal. This is why anybody familiar with psilocybin and any other kind of fungi will tell you, "They are alive." They have a very ancient wisdom. To my experience, all mushrooms have always said, "Pay attention to your life. How you think, how you feel, and what will you do with the information that you always knew, but now are seeing in this point of view." This is why mushrooms are so respected in tribal cultures. This mental health treatment works for me too. Half micro doses do the trick for me. At least a few days at a time with lengthy time in between. Never addictive. Thank you for sharing this point!

    • @MariaHernandez-mb3qz
      @MariaHernandez-mb3qz 24 дня назад

      How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta

  • @zaidarivas7152
    @zaidarivas7152 7 месяцев назад +46

    Thanks for sharing. My son had schizophrenia for 16 years before he passed. It took him passing for me to look at these videos to better understand what this illness entails. He died of a drug overdose and I spent the last 16 years angry with him. I thought tough love would get him to seek help.
    The regret I feel weighs heavily. This is a serious mental illness, I think one of the worst. Please be gentle with the afflicted
    He was making amazing strides this past year and our relationship was on the mend. Then he overdosed. Now he’s gone. I always thought I had time with him. I did not

    • @christaw409
      @christaw409 6 месяцев назад +3

      You shouldn’t have done tough love. That never works. My parents did that to me, and it only made me worse. You definitely contributed to making him worse.

    • @jeR-m
      @jeR-m 6 месяцев назад +13

      ​@@christaw409woah wtf kinda thing is that to say. You aren't them. Him or her or whoever... ridiculous...just bc it did this or that to you doesn't mean that's their case. Shits rough. I'm schizoaffective w 5 kids. I regret shit almost daily .. should've would've could've.. not your place to say nor judge. They already said they regret things. That's plenty enough. You point a finger at someone, there are 3 pointing back. I feel embarrassed for you for saying that.

    • @AmyintheMountains
      @AmyintheMountains 6 месяцев назад +6

      I’m sorry you lost your son. Please take care of yourself. 🤍

    • @zaidarivas7152
      @zaidarivas7152 6 месяцев назад

      @@christaw409 being kind to my son meant him taking advantage of it. Tough love was what the addiction specialists recommended. I’ll listen to them over you.
      My regret is based on the anger I had towards him all these years because I did not understand addiction. But I’ve come to realize that we all have free will and nothing I could do would stop him from using.
      Death stopped him.
      If you’re a schizophrenic using street drugs. Please stop. Your family loves you. They hate the drug use.

    • @lindamyers5660
      @lindamyers5660 6 месяцев назад +4

      First, i AM SO, SO, SO, VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I know there are no words I could ever say that could even scratch the surface of what you have experienced. Me and my son both have struggled with multiple debilitating and life-changing mental illnesses. My son with major ones with suicidal tendencies. I have fought years of wars and lived so many years in the worst possible never-ending fear daily for his life. Life-flighted with a head injury from a bad reck at three he would physically recover 100% but had small sporadic damage throughout his brain which was just the right amount to cause many clinical diagnoses. a million meds many suicide attempts, overdoes, suffering from learning disabilities every day a crazy scary existence, There was attempted hanging, always stitching him up, overdoses, narcam kept in abundance, there were brain bleeds, stabbings, craziness, drugs, jails, he was even shot in the street during covid... another life flight and 3 surgeries to piece his spleen and guts back to save sav him and I couldn't go be with cause of covid, but he survived it all. Oh, praise God. It was as if I held my breath for 24 years and only in the past year and a half have, I dared relax and breathe now and again. He is 19 months clean and holding down a good job. This first time he stayed clean longer than two weeks out of jail. No one knows the effect, pain, struggle fight PTSD, hurt, anguish. effort A parent lives through daily with a mentally challenged child, especially when they are a danger to themselves or others, I have 4 children and he was harder than all three others combined times 10 The love, heartache, and challenges, there is no way to imagine unless you have had to live it have more regrets than I could ever list. But it is a war, a battle. today my son is alive so I'm winning, the odds of that remaining, we who have lived it know are not good it could change at any time It's an ongoing battle, and unless you're in it you could never imagine.
      I pray for all those who have lost their sons and Daughters, for all still fighting, for all who will come after, and for all who had to go ahead, I pray they have found peace. The only healing I have seen of any degree for Parents who have lost a child is if they can find some way to use the life lost to do some good, to help others to have a better chance to survive and live and win. It matters not how it is done, a charity, a foundation, lobbying for laws or political movement, or sharing experiences, strength, and hope, any way you can honor your child's life by using a tragedy to be a beacon of light to another will give purpose to his life even in death and bring whatever amount of healing that can be found to the ones who loved him here, and there forever more. God bless and keep you. The suffering is real, may we all learn how to help bear each other's burdens.

  • @ajrtraill8085
    @ajrtraill8085 11 месяцев назад +254

    To be fair, you’re channel is called Living WELL with Schizophrenia. You’re very brave and my heart goes out to you.

    • @jacquelineess1141
      @jacquelineess1141 11 месяцев назад +1

      I am. You are (You're) He is. She is.
      My book. Your book. His book. Her book.

    • @lisasommerlad1337
      @lisasommerlad1337 11 месяцев назад +11

      It doesnt say "living well without schizophrenia".
      Handling it, IS living well.

  • @pocketz1398
    @pocketz1398 11 месяцев назад +134

    You're okay. :) I was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 24 years ago. I'm 43. I made it this far. I hope you find things to be happy about. Have a great day.

  • @yesjess2734
    @yesjess2734 11 месяцев назад +27

    I live with a chronic illness and the feeling of hopelessness and weakness, failure, embarrassment are all too familiar to me. You are not alone!

    • @vanlifebayou
      @vanlifebayou 11 месяцев назад +2

      Same :(

    • @IlaughedIcried
      @IlaughedIcried 10 месяцев назад +3

      I was just going to write the same thing. I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, but I live with complex chronic illnesses and chronic pain that result in terrible brain fog, loss of coherence, confusion, forgetfulness, fatigue, inertia and depression that seem extremely similar to what Lauren is exhibiting and talking about here. 99% of the time I feel like I've completely lost myself, and that there's no reason for me to even exist anymore. I empathize with what she's dealing with SO much.

  • @jeannies6859
    @jeannies6859 8 месяцев назад +11

    Your bravery and vulnerability are amazing and please know you are helping me. Thank you. I am deeply grateful.

  • @S4vh55hdci
    @S4vh55hdci 11 месяцев назад +357

    I have worked in the mental health field for decades as a psychiatric RN. I want to let you know how courageous you are and how much I have respect for you for your authenticity and vulnerability. Believe me, you are not alone! Thank you for this video. It is enormously helpful to so many and helps destigmatize and normalize mental health challenges that many go through which lay on a spectrum. You are crystal clear and very articulate in describing your current state when you made this video. Thank you so much again.❤

    • @jjones9822
      @jjones9822 11 месяцев назад +4

      I had a psychotic break 12 years ago and it was brutal. Hallucinations, nonstop auditory hallucinations, paranoia, the feeling of constantly being watched (even in the bathroom), thinking people are following you, thinking your family is in on it.
      It is terrifying. I was in a psych ward for ten days until they finally got me stable. The point is, in those moments of psychosis I thought it would never end. I felt hopeless. But it is beatable. Find medication which is right for you(sometimes you to try different meds), and stay hopeful.
      Also, and I know there are people who think it’s corny, but pray. Talk to God.
      It may seem crazy but I felt there was a spiritual aspect to what was happening to me. As if I opened a door in the mind that was meant to stay shut. This was caused by a combination of trauma from the loss of my Mother and drug abuse. I could be completely wrong but I believe there was deep spiritual damage that left me vulnerable to chaos.
      I know people put all of their hopes in pharmaceuticals but faith in something bigger can help.

    • @jennifero1836
      @jennifero1836 11 месяцев назад +2

      Thank you for all of the work that you do....good psychiatric RN's who are empathetic and truly care are a real gem!

    • @wbd762
      @wbd762 11 месяцев назад +1

      I have such respect for how vulnerable you allow yourself to be. Thank you for sharing your struggles here. My brother was diagnosed with Schizophrenia very young,16 years. Your insights have helped me understand his struggles as well. Unfortunately, he has severe paranoid schizophrenia and cannot work or communicate thoughts clearly.

    • @YeIsCorrect
      @YeIsCorrect 11 месяцев назад

      how do you even do it? the nurses were the only saving grace of my experience there, and even then it was only a few of them, one or two. when id call the doctors/psychiatrists evil it was clear the nurses agreed and never had qualms about me doing so, in fact most seemed to enjoy somebody was finally telling them to their face.

    • @surethabadenhorst
      @surethabadenhorst 11 месяцев назад

      ​​@@jjones9822 Most deffinitely agree about the spiritual aspect of it. Prayer helped me a lot, and now as long as I stay off drugs, illegal and legal, and hold onto God ❤ I never ever have these attacks anymore 🙌🏼

  • @karenrollins9578
    @karenrollins9578 11 месяцев назад +465

    My husband passed almost a year ago & I didn’t know that he was schizophrenic. I think it was super important to him to appear “normal” to the point that he refused to seek help, refused to admit that there was a problem, and ultimately he drank and starved himself to death. So I just have to mention how I can’t say enough about how much of a good thing this is that you’re open to sharing your struggles, you’re reaching out for help, and are honest about your symptoms. I’ll keep you in my prayers 🌸

    • @Weld24_CosmicKat
      @Weld24_CosmicKat 11 месяцев назад +25

      I'm so terribly sorry your husband succumbed to this illness. I'll keep You and your family in my prayers.

    • @karenrollins9578
      @karenrollins9578 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@Weld24_CosmicKat thank you

    • @CYRINTHIA212
      @CYRINTHIA212 11 месяцев назад +4

      🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

    • @shalacarter5798
      @shalacarter5798 11 месяцев назад +11

      I understand his point of you. I am so sorry for your loss. But I would love to be able to starve myself to death a lot of times. I fight so hard to keep from killing myself because then I know my family would not get my life insurance.

    • @karenrollins9578
      @karenrollins9578 11 месяцев назад +11

      @@shalacarter5798 please know that you are loved and valued. While this is not a popular thing to say in this day and time - Jesus sees you. He loves you. And He understands that you’re struggling. I may not know or understand what you’re struggling with because I’ve never experienced that, but you’re every bit as precious to Him. I will keep you in my prayers

  • @sashabenton4413
    @sashabenton4413 11 месяцев назад +1

    I’m so sorry you are struggling and thank you for sharing because I’ve been there ❤

  • @ChristineK66
    @ChristineK66 8 месяцев назад +10

    You are so brave for sharing this vulnerable state you are in. You are strong and not weak, please know that

  • @cheerio672
    @cheerio672 11 месяцев назад +170

    You’re doing great Lauren! You were brave enough to share this moment with us. We’re all here for you and with you! ❤

  • @sourgummiez
    @sourgummiez 11 месяцев назад +195

    We are here rooting for you Lauren!!!

  • @mjsoskie
    @mjsoskie 10 месяцев назад +1

    I’m sending you a hug. Sorry that you had to go through this but thank you for sharing about it. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and to open up like this. Thank you so much again💜

  • @NoNudes
    @NoNudes 8 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing! 💙

  • @RaysDad
    @RaysDad 11 месяцев назад +185

    Lauren, I hope the process of making this video has helped you organize your thoughts and planning. Best wishes and much love to you.

  • @noahcassata120
    @noahcassata120 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for sharing! It helps people understand what people are going through! You're strong!!

  • @lauraregan8439
    @lauraregan8439 10 месяцев назад +3

    You are amazing! To put yourself out there with such vulnerability in hopes of helping others... You are amazing and you expressed yourself just fine! ❤

  • @madelinebrennan7603
    @madelinebrennan7603 11 месяцев назад +175

    You do sound like you're doing everything right under the circumstances. You've told the people who can help you most. You're following a plan that's been guided with you by those who care and who can help. You have a backup plan if things don't improve within 24 hours. If you decide to be hospitalized, it will be temporary, only to stabilize you but nobody seemed to say that's where you should go just yet so it sounds like there's a sensible, respectful, responsible plan in place. You'll be ok. This is temporary. My mother was always terrified of hospitalizations. My brother too. I understand. I'm with you. If you're up for it, keep us updated please. xo

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 11 месяцев назад +7

      I just don’t go. I made a deal with myself that no matter how bad it got that I wouldn’t go. I haven’t been in a psych ward since 1990 and I just suck up the crap and let the shit fall. But that took a lot of therapy and years of experience of dealing with distancing myself from what is expected of me from the uncaring and schadenfreude (translated roughly as ignorant punitive hate-loving peasant culture). Also the years of taking vitamins and working with diet has given me a good metabolic baseline.

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@jacquelineleitch7050 I totally hear you. "Distancing myself from what is expected of me" has been a key healing strategy for me as well. Psych wards fill me with rage.

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 11 месяцев назад

      @@80islandia for me terror of the insanity of having barely qualified people working on psych wards and showing off their power and status, the lower regions of psychiatry that get hired by psych wards ( the 50 percentile work psych wards while the top of the classes work are self employed and charge a fortune from complacent individuals suffering minor neurosis or depression.) and then the long term weird of the long term inmates of the ward and everyone is on drugs. Total bs and completely scary.

    • @jasminescloset2021
      @jasminescloset2021 11 месяцев назад +2

      what a lovely comment @madelinebrennan❤

    • @johnruhland9428
      @johnruhland9428 11 месяцев назад +2

      11:37 HI Lauren, I have experienced your place, unpleasant as it is. To share experience with you, may possibly open doors. I have seven children, we were together for 20 yrs., we are taught by professionals very much to go introspective in problem solving, which really does predominately work. The missing answer I found is actually sometimes in your activities beyond your control, in otherwords situational ?
      In our Family life (mine) I was the breadwinner and pillar, now I tried tremendously to understand and support my wife in her struggles as a Mom, in discussions with her, I would say you are stepping up to the hardest challenge in the world, Mothering. My wife would then say well it's actually easier with 6 or seven, but that she would never forget the deep challenges of the first 3 and that that was by far the hardest of the raising of the seven.
      The point for your possible consideration is that possibly the challenges of the 3, the you tube channel, etc may be the actual emotions and thoughts you are feeling ? Only thoughts for your consideration only. If it is situational you may find proactive approach to the problem will bring out of your stressful situation ? Someone with 4 or 5 children experience for ideas, or time management possibly in the channel, possibly a nice dinner with you and Rob ? A 50 yr experience with schizoaffective disorder leaves a certain amount of my door to situational circumstances. Possibly a Father of seven in support of his wife and a multimillion dollar custom cabinet business may be worthwhile to entertain some thought with. You accept a great amount of responsibility, but that does not mean you are the failing one, there are many a people with 3,4,5 kids willing to share experiences, as well as with the stresses of a channel. Only wishing the best for you and Rob and munchkins. Take care Lauren.😅

  • @CarolH2O
    @CarolH2O 11 месяцев назад +269

    My heart goes out to you right now Lauren 😢❤
    You are not failing! Just your vulnerability right now means you're NOT failing!!!

    • @maryannschlear5161
      @maryannschlear5161 11 месяцев назад +3

      YES ! Aptly put. Thank you !

    • @ronniebattle1310
      @ronniebattle1310 11 месяцев назад

      @@maryannschlear5161 Encounter Ministries RUclips channel. Mark Hemans==

  • @sano2000
    @sano2000 9 месяцев назад

    Keep pushing through it! Thanks for sharing

  • @imanichase4419
    @imanichase4419 10 месяцев назад +4

    Your eyes are very telling😢. I commend you for sharing with us and being so transparent! Prayers for you and anyone else struggling with MH issues❤🙏🏽

  • @AlexandraFischman
    @AlexandraFischman 11 месяцев назад +589

    As a Clinical Mental Health Counselor, I applaud you for making a video during such a vulnerable time. You are doing such an important, and validating thing for so many people. Decreasing stigma is achieved partially through videos like this. Thank you, and sending you light and love

    • @missybrewer423
      @missybrewer423 10 месяцев назад +2

      Trying to get others who are not effected to understand this is a large task! No one would ever ask for this to happen and the stigma needs to go away! We need to help our mentally I'll! We need to do better

    • @yasmyncammeron9883
      @yasmyncammeron9883 10 месяцев назад

      Agreed

    • @innag6888
      @innag6888 9 месяцев назад +3

      @@missybrewer423 one way to help "our mentally ill" is by not referring to them as "our mentally ill" which is dehumanizing and patronizing. PEOPLE with mental illnesses is the term to use.

  • @soleil5923
    @soleil5923 11 месяцев назад +39

    My mental health is so bad too, I’m not sure what to do 😢 I wish mental illness would leave us alone forever 😔

    • @user-bw9wz1jd9l
      @user-bw9wz1jd9l 3 месяца назад

      😂 Imagine being trapped by something that Doesn't exist😅😅 Go to middle east country and such stuff Doesn't exist

  • @hp7748
    @hp7748 11 месяцев назад

    You are so brave. Thank you for sharing this.

  • @user-fg6bz7tp2n
    @user-fg6bz7tp2n 10 месяцев назад

    Its one of the best videos i have seen thank you xxxx

  • @SoCalJellybean
    @SoCalJellybean 11 месяцев назад +232

    I can’t even imagine how terrifying it must be to not be able to discern reality from delusion. ♥️

    • @LP-on6kq
      @LP-on6kq 11 месяцев назад +15

      Nobody can we are all delusional, just some delusions lead to prosperity and purpose. Other delusions lead you off the edge and into the abyss. Reality was shaped by our ancestors and their teachings.

    • @raywiIIamjohnson
      @raywiIIamjohnson 11 месяцев назад +3

      its kind of fun actually, ive had over 30+ hallucinations. and they're all unique experiences because regularly i wouldnt be able to reach those states of mind!

    • @cattymajiv
      @cattymajiv 11 месяцев назад +7

      I'm not dxed with anything more than Multiple Sclerosis, yet my grip on reality has been shaky for the last 50 years. Our feelings about it depend entirely on the people around us, or on the lack of anyone supporting us.
      The complete lack of professional support by ALL of the governments, while this problem escalates exponentially is SO WORRYING! The future looks very bleak for all of us because of this! If we can't provide help for those in the most need, we will all pay for it!

    • @fightthechaos781
      @fightthechaos781 11 месяцев назад +3

      But reality is a delusion 🤪 its all just stories we tell ourselves to get through the day.

    • @delanyx2310
      @delanyx2310 11 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@fightthechaos781 way to minimize her experience.

  • @shieh.4743
    @shieh.4743 11 месяцев назад +186

    Thank you for your vulnerability, Lauren. You are loved and supported by so many.

  • @shaunoshaungo1305
    @shaunoshaungo1305 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you so very much ❤ this is very helpful!

  • @elysroomit632
    @elysroomit632 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing.You're so brave❤

  • @Awesomes007
    @Awesomes007 11 месяцев назад +209

    I have words. Compassion. Familiarity. Concerned. Grateful. Empathetic. Angry. Forgiving. Confused. Saddened. Clinging to that shred of hope for this woman, myself, and all those impacted by our special minds.

    • @Awesomes007
      @Awesomes007 11 месяцев назад +26

      @@lespritdelescalier4858 Are you telling a people with schizophrenia, during their terrifying descent into psychosis, that they should eat better? Let me know if I missed something. Because to me, that’s either incredibly daft, or cruel.

    • @alicia_naraiah
      @alicia_naraiah 11 месяцев назад +6

      @L’esprit de l’escalier are you fr right now?? This was an INCREDIBLY shortsighted and ignorant thing to say... I mean I'm actually pretty lost for words

    • @lisamellberg2892
      @lisamellberg2892 11 месяцев назад +2

      ​@L’esprit de l’escalier I understand your comment about inflammation and the gut Brain. It is an important component to helping with keeping Well and managing a mental illness along with medications, therapy etc ...all those things.and it's all individual...what works for some people doesn't for others.

    • @3313xx
      @3313xx 11 месяцев назад

      @@alicia_naraiah How funny that you people complain about advice such as this but don’t bat an eyelid at the suggestion (or rather, doctors order) of taking medication. I WISH I had known about the connection btwn nutrition and mental/brain health many years ago. Ofc it’s not a magic bullet and you need a holistic approach but it can be very helpful for sure. And no psychiatrist ever really addresses this. So there is nothing wrong with pointing it out as most people are rather unaware of the effect that nutrition can have.

  • @lauracanna2201
    @lauracanna2201 11 месяцев назад +134

    Nothing to be embarrassed about. By sharing you are just making people become aware and educated about this condition. Also don't feel that you have to share, only share what you feel comfortable with and ignore any criticism. You don't owe anything to anyone. ❤❤❤

  • @valeriewhite8798
    @valeriewhite8798 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you for being so vulnerable and brave in making this. It helps me understand what my loved one goes through. Praying for you.

  • @joshiheuberger2639
    @joshiheuberger2639 9 месяцев назад

    I think you‘re an amazing human being... thank you for being so open with us!

  • @tcort
    @tcort 11 месяцев назад +70

    Sending positive thoughts your way. Take care, Lauren.

  • @MotorcyclePhaedrus
    @MotorcyclePhaedrus 11 месяцев назад +420

    I started working as an assistant at a psychiatric ward in 2001, and i love the fact that we are having a conversation around mental health in this way. I think it is way overdue and i support anyone along their path out of despair, by whatever means they find necessary.

    • @harleecunningham7559
      @harleecunningham7559 11 месяцев назад +5

    • @Steve76777
      @Steve76777 10 месяцев назад

      Im assuming you had to inject some patients against their will?

  • @ambersharpe
    @ambersharpe 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this candid video. It is so important and helpful.

  • @Ottedikkie
    @Ottedikkie 6 месяцев назад +1

    You are awesome! You are so brave, sharing your life with us. I have so much respect for you.
    Thank you. ❤

  • @JN.S.M
    @JN.S.M 11 месяцев назад +94

    Please don't feel like this is a failure. It is not. Your illness is outside your control, just like cancer or any other physical disease is. What you can control is your reaction to it, and how you manage to have this level of bravery to be vulnerable and have an incredible sense of self-awareness is proof of just how strong you are. It shows have far you've grown throughout the years.
    We're rooting for you, you got this. Things will get better, just be patient with yourself and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.

    • @francescafrancesca3554
      @francescafrancesca3554 11 месяцев назад +2

      Thank you for being so respectful and supportive. I felt dignified while reading your words and they were not even for me, but you are right. I struggle with different things, and I'll keep your words in mind. Thank you.

    • @JN.S.M
      @JN.S.M 11 месяцев назад +3

      @@francescafrancesca3554 Hey, you’re absolutely welcome! I’m struggling too and these words are meant for anyone who’s just trying their best. This is your sign that you will be okay. So, I’m rooting for you too kind human! ❤️

  • @neilgrundy
    @neilgrundy 11 месяцев назад +131

    It is not in any way weakness. To face a camera and put this out for the whole world to see is the most amazing show of strength I've ever seen.

  • @Dubhaltagh
    @Dubhaltagh 6 месяцев назад +1

    thank you for sharing and being so candid. You are educating so many ppl about this illness and bringing light to a topic people dont really talk about enough

  • @andyguerrero9648
    @andyguerrero9648 10 месяцев назад +1

    Love your videos, thank you so much for allowing us to see this side of you. No need to feel ashamed or embarrassed, being vulnerable and honest shows immense strength on your part. I know you’re fully capable of recovering from this experience and growing from it. I’m a new mental health counselor, just finished my masters. I really admire your commitment to spreading awareness of mental illness. I’m here for you

  • @evercuriousmichelle
    @evercuriousmichelle 11 месяцев назад +50

    I just want to re-affirm that you aren't weak and that this isn't a personal failing. Sometimes shit happens even when you've done everything right. Sending you hugs!

  • @MrDerpdog
    @MrDerpdog 11 месяцев назад +60

    Hi Lauren, to touch on your comment:
    “I think it [this video] was probably not a great articulation of what I’m experiencing”…” I think this is a valuable video. I sympathize with the extreme vulnerability, sense of shame, feeling completely lost and defeated.
    It’s very reminiscent of the darkest days of my mental health issues when I was really going “through it”, to put it lightly. It’s a painful but important reminder to the general public that mental health problems exist and must be managed like any sort of illness and trying to censor it helps nobody, especially the sufferers.
    We’re all cheering for you, lurkers and commenters alike. I really commend you for uploading this video but I also completely understand and support you if you feel like it’s too painful to leave up. Be well.

  • @jaimemae8650
    @jaimemae8650 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing! You are helping others in ways you cannot imagine ❤

  • @user-in3pn2qk7v
    @user-in3pn2qk7v 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing this. ❤️

  • @lesialarson4199
    @lesialarson4199 11 месяцев назад +103

    Oh, you poor sweet girl. I’m so sorry that you deal with this horrible illness. My son does also. It breaks my heart for everyone who suffers with this. You are so brave. I love your channel. Hugs to you!

  • @princessagatha9991
    @princessagatha9991 11 месяцев назад +161

    No words, just sending moral support and appreciation for your vulnerability and bravery in sharing.

  • @ImogenC-rt3fm
    @ImogenC-rt3fm 7 месяцев назад

    This moved me deeply. Thank you.

  • @angelalicea7871
    @angelalicea7871 11 месяцев назад +176

    I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. We are all here to support you. My fiancé is currently being hospitalized for schizoaffective disorder. His medication regimen is very off and he was once at a good place with his meds, but certain delusions turned him away. It’s very difficult because this last month he’s been hospitalized twice and because of you I am able to get through this and educate myself and him. I appreciate you !!

    • @margaretgarana911
      @margaretgarana911 11 месяцев назад +9

      Good luck. You got this

    • @BareBohemianBeauty
      @BareBohemianBeauty 11 месяцев назад +3

      I hate to hear that about your fiancé but I'm glad this channel helps you as it does me as the one with the illnesses. I do hope he gets better soon and they figure out meds that will work so the suffering and worry can end x

    • @tashastarling6573
      @tashastarling6573 11 месяцев назад

      My boyfriend too.... solar flares can affect people. don't tell them if they are going to obsess over it. watch out for it tho and see

  • @diannebaker1747
    @diannebaker1747 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you for being brave and sharing your story.

  • @Jabafish
    @Jabafish 11 месяцев назад +34

    As someone who just got released from the psychiatric hospital 3 weeks ago because of psychosis. I can 100% agree with you that people don't believe me that I am sick while it happens.

  • @teritreiger7662
    @teritreiger7662 11 месяцев назад +288

    You mentioned feedback you receive. As a healthcare professional, my experience has been that the general public have limited to no real-life experience with people living with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorders. Many opinions and beliefs are based on TV and movie depictions.... neither of which reflect authentically. You are doing a major service to everyone who takes the time to watch your videos. Thank you so much for putting your life out in the public eye.

    • @biancamichelle11
      @biancamichelle11 4 месяца назад +2

      This is sooo true. People think that if a person is not at the very height of their symptoms and in great turmoil, that they are faking it. But suffering in daily life can look more like a person is numb, add medications to that and you get a very different demeanor.

    • @lilme7052
      @lilme7052 4 месяца назад

      I agree. I have a mental health disorder that is portrayed only badly in media. I know nothing of your disorder. Its only on tv when it's very dramatic and portrayed as a frightening thing. I'm sorry it's like that.

    • @karolinawww6834
      @karolinawww6834 3 месяца назад

      That's also why it's so hard to see someone going through this. I have a person with schizophrenia in the family and no one knew what was happening to her for years

    • @kelseymccarson7746
      @kelseymccarson7746 2 месяца назад +1

      Hey thanks for sharing this. You’re an amazing person.

    • @marthafazzini9835
      @marthafazzini9835 Месяц назад +1

      I agree. As a child of an Mother who suffered with this disorder, I appreciate your story. You’re brave. You’ve brought comfort to this daughter.

  • @TheMalarz1989
    @TheMalarz1989 5 месяцев назад +1

    You are super brave. It was amazing to share your state and feelings in situation like this.

  • @Gucciucciucci
    @Gucciucciucci 9 месяцев назад

    sending so much love ❤ you are changing the world for the better by posting videos like this.

  • @themetalchica
    @themetalchica 11 месяцев назад +137

    Bipolar and just now stabilizing after a 4 month psychotic break. Hearing you talk about feeling like a failure, or guilty, or it happened bc you did something wrong, gave me a feeling of understanding I've not been able to share with others. Thank you so much for sharing your story. We are not alone. ❤

    • @BeingBetter
      @BeingBetter 11 месяцев назад +3

      Ive felt the same way after my psychosis with bipolar 1.

    • @aleksanderwaskowski1862
      @aleksanderwaskowski1862 11 месяцев назад +2

      Bipolar have psychotic mania ( hallucinations are everyday from 8 years by clomipramine ), manic psychosis and psychosis in mania ...

    • @kaylaschroeder1
      @kaylaschroeder1 11 месяцев назад +2

      Oh my gosh.. a 4-month psychosis..? 🥺😢 How horrible.

    • @themetalchica
      @themetalchica 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@kaylaschroeder1 my psych took me off my meds. It took all that time to stabilize me. I don't know that I'd survive another bout like that. It's like I don't remember anything, but I sure can still feel the agony. But stable as a 4-legged table for now. Actively seeking a new shrink, but it's impossible to be seen STAT, at least in Florida. There are also no mental health rehabs in a 125 mile area from my house that take medicaid. God, it was a disaster. But you reminded me that it's over now, and with a much different and MUCH happier ending than I would've predicted.

  • @Con_blue
    @Con_blue 11 месяцев назад +53

    You will get well soon, YOU GOT THIS!❤❤❤

  • @gloriaunderhill9401
    @gloriaunderhill9401 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you for your strength and honesty

  • @paulettebornestig4430
    @paulettebornestig4430 7 месяцев назад

    Sending you clarity and calm.

  • @carlyodonnell6910
    @carlyodonnell6910 11 месяцев назад +146

    As somebody working in the healthcare field, your videos are incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. In doing so, you are not only helping others who face similar struggles, but also the ones who hope to offer you support (friends, family, doctors, etc.). It is so very apparent how much true work you have put into your wellness. To have this degree of insight while actively struggling with acute psychosis is nothing short of incredible. I know words coming from a stranger on the internet probably don't mean much, but in your vulnerability and struggles, I see so much of your inner strength. Sending love and well wishes as you navigate this challenging time. Given all you have overcome in the past and the support system you have built up around yourself, I feel confident in your ability to overcome this current episode as well. You've got this!

    • @traciG
      @traciG 11 месяцев назад +1

      💯 Couldn't have said that better! 💯

    • @MissTeaq
      @MissTeaq 11 месяцев назад +1

      Traci w/ an 👁️ and
      Carly O’Donnell
      Thank you both for your beautiful comments.
      💐🌷💐🌸💐🌷💐
      These comments are a reflection that the beautiful hearts of humans are not as rare as they may seem. Thank you a million times over.
      🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍🩷🩶❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤍

    • @ronniebattle1310
      @ronniebattle1310 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@traciG Encounter Ministries RUclips channel. Mark Hemans÷÷

    • @traciG
      @traciG 11 месяцев назад +1

      @@ronniebattle1310 thanks ill check it out 😇

  • @johnnypeake6073
    @johnnypeake6073 11 месяцев назад +68

    You’ll get through this !!❤

  • @timothyferrell4347
    @timothyferrell4347 6 месяцев назад

    I really appreciate this video bc I feel the same way right now and I am grateful for your channel bc it helps me to grab on to reality

  • @XoXo_iii
    @XoXo_iii 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for making this.

  • @emmawynnehill3141
    @emmawynnehill3141 11 месяцев назад +151

    Thank you. As both a mental health provider and a person living with a mental illness that takes me out of commission at times, I am so grateful for you. I use your videos in staff trainings all the time. I am sorry you are in this space right now, and I hope you are able to move through it soon. ❤

  • @klxzz
    @klxzz 11 месяцев назад +174

    When your actual reality is grounded with medication and it fails you... I don't want to imagine the betrayal you must have felt. Your ability to be able to, whilst in psychosis, center yourself and connect your brain back online is amazing. I have never witnessed this before with someone in a psychotic episode. The amount of power you have is astounding. Especially when you said that this episode is a different than what you have experienced before.

    • @stacieboucher1570
      @stacieboucher1570 11 месяцев назад +14

      And how sad the Dr is failing her taking over a week to get her an appointment to help adjust the meds!

    • @Eric-tj3tg
      @Eric-tj3tg 9 месяцев назад +5

      @@stacieboucher1570 Sad and scary truth here. Does he know how many subs she's got? Maybe a week wait is the case WITH leverage? Sick system.

  • @alexyafalcon3203
    @alexyafalcon3203 10 месяцев назад +5

    You are amazing as you are , it’s not easy to feel it all the time but my grandmother also is diagnosed with schizophrenia and it’s hard to watch people go through what you guys do , thank you so much for opening up and sharing . I am interested in how we can help this condition because from my research indigenous people had ways that helped and it’s weird that hundreds of years later modern humanity is still scientifically puzzled by schizophrenia.
    Thank you & May you feel loved and supported as much as you possible❤️

  • @williamfoley5687
    @williamfoley5687 10 месяцев назад

    So brave,great vid.everyone has some struggles.Hope you feel good soon.

  • @2listening1
    @2listening1 11 месяцев назад +37

    8:43 I believe very strongly that this isn’t a personal failure. You’re an amazing mental athlete.

    • @howareyou857
      @howareyou857 11 месяцев назад

      I agree so much with this

  • @patriciacinea3097
    @patriciacinea3097 11 месяцев назад +51

    I work in a mental health hospital. So many thanks for your humility and honesty. You have a gift of communication. You're sharing this episode of your illness is so helpful for me in the care of my patients. Thank you.

  • @a.t.5438
    @a.t.5438 7 месяцев назад +2

    Hi Lauren, I bumped into your video by accident and I personally have no one in my environment struggling with a psychotic episodes as part of a schizoaffective disorder but I want to say "Thank you very much" with a deep bow for creating this channel and sharing your most personal difficult existential experiences, as part of the disorder that you suffer from. For people like me who have not much knowledge of this topic or of what it feels like to live with a disorder like this, it is very informative. I respect very much how much courage and strenght you bring to the table to record yourself while going through these extremely difficult periodes. I hope that throught recording yourself and talking into the camera you maybe feel also less alone and helpless in the moment it is happening. And that you know you are supported and appreciated by many people who watch your videos with respect. Wherever you are right now, thank you for sharing your process of dealing with your disorder and in this sense also for spreading more awareness and information from the level of experience of this disorder. I'm sure many people who have to try to live with the same sort of disorder or people who's loved ones suffer from this, will find a lot of support and courage to hold on in your videos. Take care Lauren and the best wishes to you from Amarie in Belgium.

  • @madcooper82
    @madcooper82 5 месяцев назад +1

    Wow thanks a lot for your openness, honesty and vulnerability. That's not failure but braveness in the midst of a raising storm. Chapeau!

  • @penelope9133
    @penelope9133 11 месяцев назад +45

    I'm so sorry you are going through this painful time. You spoke so eloquently. Thank you for sharing. And don't ever be ashamed. I'm amazed at how brave you are.

  • @Primotutor
    @Primotutor 11 месяцев назад +35

    This too shall pass…please hang in there Lauren, this has nothing to do with being weak. You have contributed immensely.

  • @KymPossible83
    @KymPossible83 10 месяцев назад

    Sharing this at such a vulnerable time is so brave. Your page helps educate people about this invisible illness that for so many years was hidden and not spoken about. I am sorry that you are going through this episode of psychosis, but I am happy that you are taking necessary steps to feel better. Sending you positive energy and strength!

  • @HolyMeow
    @HolyMeow 9 месяцев назад

    Thanks for sharing this information.

  • @songcentral3110
    @songcentral3110 11 месяцев назад +37

    It’s not weakness or a failure. I know it feels vulnerable but I promise you, I really appreciate your honesty.

  • @sugar_and_spice
    @sugar_and_spice 11 месяцев назад +45

    Thank-you for this. My family has 3 members currently dealing with this illness ( severe- for the last 20 years). I didn’t have children because of the risk of passing the disease on. I wish I could show them (esp my sister) your videos.
    You seem to have a lot of love and support in your life. Take care! I hope you’ll be back to your regular self soon.

    • @freespeech1341
      @freespeech1341 6 месяцев назад

      It runs in my family too. My brother is or was a schizophrenic. I did tons of research and discovered i's an ATP7B copper binding gene defect that causes it. To get them back to normal, you have to bring the free copper levels down. 150 mg of zinc per day (50 mg one hour before meals) will lower free copper, but it takes several years to lower it. A faster way is to get them a prescription for allopurinol, which is a drug to lower uric acid. It is also a copper chelator and works fast. You can google "allopurinol for schizophrenia" and see tons of articles on it. It got rid of my brother's schizophrenia in less than a month. It's totally safe to take it even if they don't have an elevated uric acid. God Bless

    • @RationalNon-conformist
      @RationalNon-conformist 2 месяца назад

      Sadly, this is not normal. We are becoming sicker and sicker as a society, it’s due to the environmental toxins, low nutrition levels, etc.

  • @serenegreene6984
    @serenegreene6984 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing this. I think you are so brave and strong.

  • @ellen_3
    @ellen_3 11 месяцев назад +106

    An abundance of love is wrapped around you and is protecting you until you are comfortable 💛

  • @bohochic2459
    @bohochic2459 11 месяцев назад +40

    Dear Lauren, Thank you for being so raw, transparent, and vulnerable. It takes great courage to allow ourselves to feel so exposed. Please know that I listened to everything you shared and that you were heard. I am holding the space for you, as I have no doubt others are doing too. This should be a safe space for you to share and feel supportive. I am heartbroken that if at any time you have felt pressured to share your more difficult times because some people have critized you for coming across as well all the time, and that you don't show the more difficult aspects of living with an illness like Schizoaffective disorder. I gently invite you to remind yourself that this is your YT channel, your journey and life experiences. You deserve to share only if and when you feel safe to do so. No one should be putting any pressure on yourself to do anything. Only you get to decide that. You are worthy of setting healthy boundaries. As long as you felt comfortable doing this video, I am deeply honoured to be part of your sharing. Without a doubt, you have a kind and tender heart. Bravo to you. You deserve to treat yourself with the utmost self-care and self-compassion, as you would your very best friend. I am filled with gratitude that your YT channel came into my newsfeed the other day. How blessed am I? When things become too overwhelming, do your very best to take one small step, one minute, one hour, one day, one breath, and one moment, at a time. This is your life. You are a gift to this world. You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. Sending heartfelt hugs and love from Canada. 🪷💐🩷

    • @KaraMcnulty-nh6lx
      @KaraMcnulty-nh6lx 11 месяцев назад +3

      Well said!

    • @christinakoch3099
      @christinakoch3099 11 месяцев назад +4

      Agree 100% with this comment. Deeply respect what you are doing but please take care of yourself first. No one should pressure you because you do so much already to move the conversation forward. Much love.

  • @TeeJayDeluxe
    @TeeJayDeluxe 11 месяцев назад

    This is such a helpful video. I’m sorry things have became so difficult. Hope you recover quickly.

  • @jessicastrachan3846
    @jessicastrachan3846 5 месяцев назад

    You are so strong 💛🦾. Thank you for sharing!!