My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person
@@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.
To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.
I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.
I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.
I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.
I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.
My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
@michellem1862 Thank you!!! Thank you for not turning your daughter away because she has an illness you (and probably her too!) don't understand!! Thank you for being an AMAZING Mom to be willing to learn what you can so that you can support her rather than the easier route of just putting her out of your life!!! I am in awe of you and your love and devotion to your daughter!!!! I pray she knows and realizes how blessed she is to have you!!!! Thank you!! ❤
For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.
I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️
Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏
@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode. I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life. Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually. I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases. Sorry for the essay, lol!!
Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.
I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.
As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.
All I can say is that schizophrenia tends to be genetic and often skips a generation so birthing is a gamble. I ignored this fact because I wanted a child so badly and didn't follow my instincts.
As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.
My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.
@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.
My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.
The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.
It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.
@@MargaritaMagdalena how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion. family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do. i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else
@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia? Any honest accounts are good education, in my view
@@lookingupwithwonder "Bad educator" was probably incorrect to say, but like I said, the very fact that she's sharing her experience makes her unlike the average schizophrenic. Many schizophrenics like my mother aren't even diagnosed and medicated, and are cynical, secretive, cross, and even aggressive, not honest, responsible and sweet like this lady.
Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.
Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.
It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.
@@ChaiChai1965 She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home. This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.
I think this channel is great at achieving two main things. 1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia 2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with. To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good). PS This video was so very informative.
I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.
It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢
I’ve become somewhat of a pro at hiding my symptoms and appearing fine on the outside so people don’t realize it’s the complete opposite. Btw she has made a video of her in a psychotic episode but you would not apparently, i think she was in one cause she was pretty well composed and put together.
Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.
You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him? Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love
randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜
As a mom of 3 who has debilitating panic disorder, I so appreciate you showing up in this way for moms who struggle with mental illness, to help people understand that our illness does not minimize our love and care for our children. When you talked about that it brought tears to my eyes, because I know what it's like to feel like I'm failing them when my mental illness is at it's worst. I'm so happy that you have a family who just loves and supports you through it.
My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.
I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.
@@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment. They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.
I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.
I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.
My mom was recently hospitalized because of an episode similar to this. She’s currently there for a second time, but this time she went on her own. And this really made me, the only person in her corner really helping her out, feel a little better. Thank you for some insight on your experience, I think it will help me better navigate how to support my mother.
Believe me, I know the denial of an illness exponentially cuts out any acceptance of a really devastating illness and the treatment necessary. Hats off to you and good luck.
@@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner
As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.
Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.
@@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?
I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤
I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.
Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.
Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
@@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.
@FlyingMonkies325 Thankyou for this explanation, it’s very descriptive. ❤ for you for bringing this battle experience out into a public shout. Wish you well ❤️🩹
It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.
As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤
It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways. But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.
My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle My heart goes out to you.
Lauren, you’re the hero, advocate and pioneer we need (no pressure! 😅), to blow the lid off the *utterly medieval* treatment of mental illness and the current, *terrible* experience of hospitalization. Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and making us all feel a little less alone. ❤🙏🌈 Change must come. It must! When you’re feeling better, your next series could focus on what we can do as a community to educate, fund-raise, advance research, and improve support for mental illness. Truly, you’re a gift! 🌈🩷 Looking forward to your autobiography one day! 😉
When even her own DOCTOR'S knee jerk response for a request for help is to CALL the POLICE and have her HANDCUFFED and transported to a Psych ward only to end up in jail!!!!!!!!!!
You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤
When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕
I think that now that she can recognize that she actually needs hospitalization when things are getting out of hand she is finally becoming able to manage the illness. I believe it is a great progress in learning how to live with the illness.
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother was diagnosed schizophrenic in her late 40's. It did not have a happy ending for my family. Since I am no longer able to talk to her about it, your videos are giving me a little bit of insight into what she may have felt. In a way it gives me a tiny bit of peace and understanding.
Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.
If this particular video episode of your journey doesn’t help, even if in a small way, bring us all closer to a stigma-free world regarding mental illness then nothing will. Open and honest conversation about every facet of what people with mental illness (and their loved ones) go through HAS to happen, or the stigma will persist. I've watched MANY of your videos and this one has had the most impact.Thank you and your husband and family soooo much for sharing. ❤
You are so brave, sweet and transparent. I knew nothing about this diagnosis until listening to your channel. Thank you for the education. Kudos for being open and encouraging others to do the same. Rob, you are an amazing support!
I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.
It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.
It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊
@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.
@meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.
@@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.
@stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%
Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).
Lauren & Rob you two are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing so openly what you’re going through with your illness. It has truly helped me understand how to better support people around me and be more open minded. You’re making the world a better place and I have the greatest respect for you ❤
You are so brave. I couldn’t imagine living with this condition. I’ve had depression, suicidal thoughts in my past but that was due to my circumstances at the time and it was controlled with medication. Mental illness is still an issue that people don’t understand and luckily we have awesome people like yourself that put themselves out there to share awareness and be honest about it.
I don’t understand the people who have those criticisms, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. It feels like they want a spectacle to gawk at. You are not obligated to share anything that you don’t want to share. It isn’t unreasonable to not make content when you’re unwell. No one is thinking about making content in the middle of a psychotic episode. It’s absurd to even suggest that you should. Anyone saying this stuff fundamentally does not understand mental illness. How selfish and rude of them.
I totally agree. I do understand that those who do not have it in their life and are helped by seeing it would want more exposure. Sometimes things are not understood until you see the worst. That being said, it should not be demanded or expected or made to feel like a spectacle. It is also sometimes cathartic to others who struggle to see it with someone else and sometimes can provide insight into something you were unaware of in yourself or someone who you love who has similar struggles. Again with respect and free will and not demanded. But there are also those who have a more malice view sadly. Who want to feel superior but this would be my understanding of those who have better intentions.
Some people with schizophrenia don't really see themselves in her. Think about what the main problem with schizophrenia is- loss of cognitive function. Yet here is a woman who has a degree and a family and a job. 90% of schizophrenics are unemployed. It's the disability with the highest unemployment rate.
On RUclips and other places on the internet there's this push to make disability palatable for mass consumption. I don't think it's on purpose in a lot of cases or it is a coping strategy for others but when you show up perfectly coifed with a clean house, supportive family, and are presenting as very functional it feels disingenuous to the vast majority whose lives are not like that. When I was in peer support groups the vast majority did not have half of those things. Lots of people had been living in half way houses, on tiny disability checks, unable to work, coping poorly on meds that didn't work for them prescribed by doctors who weren't very interested in helping beyond the bare minimum. Lots of people were estranged from their families or stuck in toxic relationships. There was a lack of education and lack of resources. People struggled so hard to survive. Some people had even been arrested for being symptomatic in public. It's much harder to be a schizophrenic black man, for example. I think Lauren is extremely lucky to be where she is. I don't say that to put her down but to point out that the reality is much starker for many people so I can see why they resent this presentation.
Because people don't understand schizophrenia they Want to see what the 'bad' part is, or what goes on in someone's head during psychosis. They want to know the whole story so they can understand fully. // Not sharing that kind of info makes this a channel more of a support for people and families already dealing with schizophrenia, than for people who are trying to learn more about it.
This is a little off-topic, but this is a quote from the movie One Hour Photo. "People take pictures of the happy moments in their lives. Someone looking through our photo album would conclude that we had led a joyous, leisurely existence... free of tragedy. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget." That's not the only reason you don't post video of psychotic episodes. It sounds like an intense and very personal event. I wouldn't post a video of me vomiting for hours or curled up in the fetal position on a channel about migraines.
@@elcapitan24 it might be, but I wouldn't post it. It's like posting naked pictures of yourself, but two steps beyond. It's not just me at my most vulnerable, it's reliving it with each comment, good or bad. The sympathetic comments would be tough to read. Anything about it being staged or not that bad would just feel devastating.
Lauren, be nice to yourself. You are doing very well and getting sicker does not reflect bad on any part of you. I know you’re scared. Guilt is good for nothing when you didn’t choose to do anything.
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable with your illness and with your recent hospitalization. I learned a lot from this video and from your other videos, and they help me to be more compassionate.
You’re not alone because you have somebody who cares for you and loves you. And they are waiting for you when you get out. That makes all the difference! Our grown son has schizophrenia and has been hospitalized many times since 2013. It is always difficult and we have learned which psychiatric hospitals are better and which ones we will never visit again. It is always traumatic but sometimes a medicine change while in the hospital will help improve things a little. I’m so glad you made this channel for all of us out here in the same boat. Thanks! ❤ from David in Houston, Texas.
I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!
Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.
Its not often people are open about their experiences, but Lauren enables an open conversation about these things on a large platform. You rock Lauren, I think you’re so resilient.
It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤
This video is so authentic and your experience and Rob's are genuine and thank you both. How you feel is valid. Thank you for sharing everything you have, it does give so much insight that many are not willing or to afraid to share ❤
Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!
Thank you for continuing to update us, as you recover. You are a warrior. I love that you have been transparent. It has helped me to understand so much more, about my dad and his mental illness. Take good care of yourself. ❤
You are not wrong about the extreme mental stress that come with menstruation and sinus pressure (colds). These things on top of life stress will ALWAYS put my mental health in the dumpster.
It is super upsetting that the POLICE are called in these events. POLICE presence can escalate things unnecessarily. I don't have a solution, but am merely observing that there should be another step in place. The way mental events are handled leaves much to be desired. Love and healing to you ❤
I get what you say, but in Rob's situation, with a person on the road who is in psychosis and a very possible danger to everyone around her, police is the only option. There is no other step for stopping somebody in a car on the road, when you don't even know where they are.
@@fuchsfarben yes of course I understand the urgency of the operation of heavy dangerous machinery... However there are opportunities (I am not picking on these folks' situation, it is just one of many examples) to have people/steps in place PRIOR to police enforcement to help. Maybe trusted people, a point person that is not necessarily family, but a GUIDE of some sort to walk with and through with the person experiencing the episode. Like she said, family can be a paranoia trigger and also adds shame of what you "are putting your family through" which doesn't help. Hmmm... a psychosis guide - like a guardian angel....
@@thedavesiknow4598es, they should have trained intervention people who would be able to say the right words to someone in psychosis who could deescalate the situation. I suppose, there could be too much of a risk and things could escalate quickly. It just seems so unfair. I mean Rob is a safe person, yet while in a state of psychosis she is even afraid of him. She understands and knows this once the episode is over. Since she isn’t at the moment able to think rationally, anyone could become “the enemy”. Just so hard. Having to “endure” the “checkin” process would be sheer torture for someone in psychosis! My heart breaks for her, and yet she is so passionate about using her painful experiences to help others! An amazing person! The pain in her eyes as she relays this episode is so obviously there! She so much wants to be free of this!
@@thedavesiknow4598 that's a good idea and could be part of someone's Wellness Action Plan. Here they've tried to improve things, with each police station and A&E department having a mental health professional available 24/7. Also the health service mental health Crisis Team or Direct Brief Intervention Team are usually called. And if someone is only intermittently losing reality and not too disjointed in their thinking, it CAN be possible to de-escalate by listening and putting yourself in their shoes. Avoiding clumsy 'threatening' behaviours.
I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual! Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.
Thank you for being open about this. My husband was hospitalized last year, and still doesn't want to discuss it. You are more helpful than you realize. And good for you for mustering up the strength to put yourself together! Much love to you and your family.
Sanitizing your uploads, “putting your best foot forward “ is so human. We want so much to maintain our dignity. Beginning this project was so helpful to so many of us. Getting more & more transparent and less afraid to tell your truth is hard- but so helpful to us- who suffer & try to help those who suffer. Compounding this struggle, is trying to “protect “ all the significant ones in your life. Here’s a grateful hug. ❤️
I hope you don't feel pressure to have to make videos about all of your experiences. You don't need that added pressure. Of course if you want to do so and it helps, that's different.
I agree. I feel like people don't realize that this is HER channel and HER life...and they end up treating her like a product/spectacle. It's not her responsibility to share everything she experiences.
Well her “partner” manipulates her into filming when she’s in a vulnerable place. It’s mentioned in the beginning of the video that she’s doesn’t want to be doing this but Rob wants her to. She will NEVER heal in this environment because he will always be manipulating her thoughts and actions, which is NOT helpful for someone struggling to have two firm feet planted in reality. Abuse causes paranoia, it doesn’t create an environment to take it away.
Lauren and Rob I am so sorry you have to go through these difficult experiences. I can hear the pain in your voices. Your insight and ability to share your experience with the rest of us is such a blessing, sending love and hugs, wishing you and your littles the best ❤ 😊
This is a pretty amazing channel, and I applaud you both for taking this on…my wife has struggled with psychosis for our whole relationship of over 16 years and has had several hospitalizations throughout. These are hard for everyone involved and to deal with these issues the right way is difficult and hard to explain or comprehend, but you guys are doing a great job of it. Keep it up!
You're so well-spoken and a great educator. Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your experiences - I imagine it's difficult at times to talk about stuff that's so personal to you but I'm incredibly grateful that you are. Take care of yourself ❤️
People with cancer have to go to hospital. People who have strokes have to go to hospital . Etc....people with mental illness may have to go to hospital. Best wishes to you both and kids...
When someone is sick of cancer or fever it is ok they always go back and forth to hospital but if it is illness of psychosis etc. the society will always looks at it with a different outlook. Why cant they be like any other illness? Maybe because we do not accept it as illness of any kind. I hope one day the society will accept it as normal illness we send them to hospital like any other illness is sent to hospital and no more expectations
Thank you so much for your bravery to be so open and vulnerable about your experience. I have someone in my life struggling with schizophrenia but he is unable to communicate as well as you do about his experience. While I’m sure that your experiences are different, your willingness to share has given me the ability to understand him a little bit better. You are a blessing. ❤
I'm awed by your bravery to choose to be hospitalized. After the traumas of previous hospitalizations, it must have taken so much courage to move down that path. You are an amazing individual ... and that goes for Rob too.
You are a hero. Educating us about the actual experience of mental illness. You are brave, and courageous for surrendering your privacy to lift others up and educate those who don’t have this particular disorder. I so admire you and your family. I send you my admiration and my respect. Brava to you.
This has been so interesting and education to follow. I have mental health issues but I don't have schizoaffective disorder or psychosis so very interesting to see how it can be for a person suffering with it and how hospitalization can work.
I felt uncomfortable with some of the language here and want to give my perspective : Rob was the one who didn’t do what he should have. He knew you were having psychosis and he knew you had taken a sedating med. both of those situations could make you forget or not make the best choices about driving. Rob should have kept the keys and let you know clearly: I am worried you might try to drive in your current state and that’s not safe.” Rob was the person with the capacity to make a good choice in The moment and you were not; you were impaired by illness and medication. I don’t think you were abusive; you were ill. I don’t like that Rob seems to have put you on the spot here to record this shaming statement (and maybe one that could be used against you in some kind of custody situation). Glad you went to the hospital and got the treatment you needed. Hope there are many many great days ahead!!
Yes this is what I feel too. Even though they are married and he is supporting her. The phrase I trust u to have these ... Would piss anyone off. Kinda like he is the one who decides, and the probing questions of "tell them how u hurt me," or when she was like I knew u were at the hotel because he broke into her private account. Then at the end to record her and make her have no choice but to return to the hospital.... Man I appreciate the monitoring but this could also be gaslighting, and if one was to remove her issues this would be a controlling partner, and if u take someone's keys from them that kidnapping... I wonder if he gives her space enough just to be pist and have a cool down, without threatening police and hospitalization. I get the impaired driving, But I have to take a break from my husband and kid when I'm mad. I wish he would have just stayed at the hotel with her until a bed was available. I went once with an assessed tooth, which they didn't prioritize either, it made it 100% worse and super embarrassing because the pain was so bad I was crying and angry. Hey Rob please don't slap her in the face with this video when she's vulnerable like that! if at all possible Join her and wait for a break to talk things out. She's clearly interested in being healthy. And let her just be pist sometimes. Ur not always perfect. Everybody is an A-Hole sometimes. Thanks so much both of you. This was an incredible video
I am so glad I’m not the only one who felt this. This video made me so uncomfortable - there have been occasions in a few videos that have been red flags for me. The statement ‘tell them how you hurt me’ - her vulnerability seems to be used against her. She’s always looking to him for approval/validation. She is an amazing strength in herself but I’m getting a bad feeling. I wish her well.
Imagine making the type of judgments your making based off the amount of information you have. How many of you are partners with a person suffering like this. Stop
Spot on! It’s unsettling how he abandoned her at her most fragile state and the. Sit behind camera and points out everything she did wrong. I’m telling you this dude is brainwashing her and making no her feel like she’s crazier than what she really is. And he has her kids and family brainwashed. He has the control.
Don't be so hard on yourself Lauren. You're such an inspiration to me. You're not abusive, you can't blame yourself for the things you do when you're in a psychotic state you're very much not in control or at least have minimal control. You know you would never do those things if you were in a well state. You know you're a good person and you fight your illness so valiantly and love your loved ones so strongly. I have nothing but admiration for you.
@@ChaiChai1965 it’s not abuse to bring your children into a psych ward the same way it’s not abuse to bring a child into a regular hospital to visit a parent who is sick. And there is a child appropriate way to explain any illness.
Lauren you are absolutely incredible and worth so much. My husband Chris has paranoid Schizophrenia and he has his ups and downs. I suffer with depression and C-PTSD and also have my demons. You and Rob inspire every day you post. You kind of enlighten my path in taking care of both of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you share. Much love from South Africa 💚💞💜
If you’re ever feeling up to it - please create a video on the positives and negatives of care you’ve received while hospitalized. Discuss how you’ve felt best supported by nurses, techs, etc. Your videos beautifully humanize all aspects of chronic mental health challenges. Viewing care from a patient’s perspective really impacts those that work in mental health facilities - not all are there just to receive a paycheck. Thank you for sharing your experience. Continued blessings on holistic health for you and your family.
"It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.
Don't ever be embarrased about admitting yourself or being admitted into a psych ward. For all their failures and limitations, these wards are there to provide us with a safe place to minimise the potential of harm. Use them as regularly as you need them ❤ Can't tell you enough Lauren, how your willingness to share these experiences, as traumatic as they are, does so much to reduce the isolation and stigma faced by so many of us battling with mental health.
And it was. Bullying is a full on skill taught social workers and nurses dealing with mental illness. Psychs who graduated at the lowest half of the class who are the ones you get in psych wards just use overdosing to bully you with.
Mine wasn't so great, either. My husband is not able to have his truck right now and he doesn't fit well in the car with his prosthetic leg. So when they wanted to admit me, I had to drive him home. That means I left "against medical advice" and had to come right back and wait in line again. It was pretty awful. They also didn't want to pay my hospital bill at first either but that got figured out pretty easily.
I’m so sorry. There definitely has to be better systems put in place to prevent those in “power” from abusing those who are vulnerable and in need - in any situation. God bless you and protect you and anyone else in these situations in Jesus’s Holy Name. I am committed to making more loving environments for people in need! 🙏💖
This has to stop. Blasting medical professionals is counterproductive. We are there to help ppl. All pts! We do not discriminate. You are privileged to have a safe place to go to. What would you have us do when you are in psychosis ? We are stretched to the limits as is with beds etc. Have more respect for medical staff!
Not only do I appreciate your well thought out, candid experiences and education on mental health and your life. I also find your voice very calming and relaxing. I have major struggles with anxiety and it’s always before bed. I always listen to your videos. They are thought provoking and informative and you get me in a zen place. Makes me feel both not alone and relaxed. Thank you
JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com
joined ❤️
Finding this online community has truly changed my life.
What do you do for a living; what's your occupation.
Were you diagnosed before you became a mother?
So you drive under the influence. Thts irresponsible
My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person
Thank you for your comment.
One for you ❤️ and one for your lovely gem of a mum ❤️
It sounds like your mom was honest about her struggles and willing to get help when she needed it. That's really great and helpful.
Was all the children the same? Bless your mum
@@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.
To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.
I think both sides are important, personally. It’s good to give hope but also important to be realistic, and authentic, as well.
I agree with you. Watching Lauren's videos has been very educational and eye opening for me.
I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.
I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.
@@mariahconklin4150 mental health is not well understood, even by doctors. Don’t give up on trying to get help to manage life more easily.
Being hospitalized isn't a personal failure on your part. Sometimes you just need extra help and that's okay.
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I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.
I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.
It’s a huge success that you agreed to go to the hospital
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I’m an ER nurse. Thank you for sharing your story so I can better understand my patients.
Yes 👍🏾❤
Underrated comment ❤
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God bless you
My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
So glad you have this. 20 years ago my mom and I had no help with my brother. No info barley any info
Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective are different! Schizoaffective is like Schizophrenia + Bipolar lol
My daughter has it as well, I’m living the same experience 💕
What is schzo's obsessive disorder?
@michellem1862 Thank you!!! Thank you for not turning your daughter away because she has an illness you (and probably her too!) don't understand!! Thank you for being an AMAZING Mom to be willing to learn what you can so that you can support her rather than the easier route of just putting her out of your life!!! I am in awe of you and your love and devotion to your daughter!!!! I pray she knows and realizes how blessed she is to have you!!!! Thank you!! ❤
Shout out to Rob. Thank you for your kindness and empathy to your partner.
Again
.....u are blessed with a partner whom supports u
For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.
Not to criticize him. Not his fault he thinks differently.
i need me a rob..
@@moseseba2117me too ❤️
I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️
pls what kind of meds helped you there? i neeed help
Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏
@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode.
I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life.
Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually.
I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases.
Sorry for the essay, lol!!
Lots of sympathy.
@@ZijnShayatanicathank you for your comment 💜
This is brilliantly brave
I cannot emphasize enough how inspired I am by you.
Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.
@@louisepolley9707 She felt guilty i saw and recognise that from her expressions and voice.
I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.
As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.
good choices,agreed
I have same experience with my mother. In addition my dad is bipolar. My childhood and youth was full of abuse
All I can say is that schizophrenia tends to be genetic and often skips a generation so birthing is a gamble. I ignored this fact because I wanted a child so badly and didn't follow my instincts.
@@carolynlanham3170 does your baby have schizophrenia?
As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.
So children don't inherit schizophrenia because I have schizophrenia too and I am afraid of my kids having it if I have kids
My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.
@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.
So kind ❤
@@sampal5352love the message, in your comment.
My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.
The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.
It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.
@@MargaritaMagdalena how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion.
family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do.
i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else
@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia?
Any honest accounts are good education, in my view
@@lookingupwithwonder "Bad educator" was probably incorrect to say, but like I said, the very fact that she's sharing her experience makes her unlike the average schizophrenic. Many schizophrenics like my mother aren't even diagnosed and medicated, and are cynical, secretive, cross, and even aggressive, not honest, responsible and sweet like this lady.
I'm so very proud of Lauren and her family.
I’m so happy that you are home with your family💕. Be gentle with yourself , you are such an amazing and strong person….Rob too🙏🏻💙
Does she hear voices?
Me too!
Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.
agree
Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.
This may be symptomatic.
It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.
@@ChaiChai1965 She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home.
This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.
As a Psych Nurse this was so good to listen too . Thank you
I think this channel is great at achieving two main things.
1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia
2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with.
To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good).
PS This video was so very informative.
You know that you are doing something for humanity here right? Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart!
I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.
It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢
I agree. Well said! 😊
@isaflechas same. Everyone says oh your so nice and they they see my IED episodes and then I'm embarrassed and ashamed
Well said! Agree 💯
I’ve become somewhat of a pro at hiding my symptoms and appearing fine on the outside so people don’t realize it’s the complete opposite.
Btw she has made a video of her in a psychotic episode but you would not apparently, i think she was in one cause she was pretty well composed and put together.
This should be a basic part of the curriculum for psychiatric nurses / doctors etc. This is so incredibly valuable work you guys are doing!
Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.
I agree 100%
couldn’t agree more
For all doctors and nurses..not just specializing in psychiatric patients.
ABSOLUTELY !
You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him?
Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love
randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜
Thank you!!
As a mom of 3 who has debilitating panic disorder, I so appreciate you showing up in this way for moms who struggle with mental illness, to help people understand that our illness does not minimize our love and care for our children. When you talked about that it brought tears to my eyes, because I know what it's like to feel like I'm failing them when my mental illness is at it's worst. I'm so happy that you have a family who just loves and supports you through it.
You got through a global pandemic without being hospitalized. That's impressive.
Great point about that.
@@michelledarby6729 imagine writing something so stupid on a public forum
@@michelledarby6729 I can tell
@@michelledarby6729read the room, Michelle!
@@michelledarby6729 You’re not her psychiatrist. Quit using your google degree to diagnose strangers you’ve never met. It’s embarrassing 🙄
My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.
I’m glad you found a solution 🙏
I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.
I just lately figured out this keeps happening around my period. Damn :/
Wow that's so interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is going into the memory bank.
@@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment.
They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.
I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.
I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.
My mom was recently hospitalized because of an episode similar to this. She’s currently there for a second time, but this time she went on her own. And this really made me, the only person in her corner really helping her out, feel a little better. Thank you for some insight on your experience, I think it will help me better navigate how to support my mother.
Believe me, I know the denial of an illness exponentially cuts out any acceptance of a really devastating illness and the treatment necessary. Hats off to you and good luck.
Rob is such a great interviewer and thank you for elaborating on certain questions.
Rob is an intelligent, educated, enlightened, cool person. For all the people trying to imagine that Rob is the problem. Raspberries
100%, Rob is exactly the kind of partner someone with chronic mental illness needs. Rob haters WTF???
@@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner
@@alienatedd Do you want me to argue with you or are you just correct?
@@alienatedd you sound like you may be projecting. Have you recently started watching this channel?
As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.
Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.
seems kinda like he is publicly shaming her
@@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?
@@thehypercasual385totally :/
I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤
what a terrible disease!! 👎👎👎 I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.
Schizotypal is a personality disorder which does not include psychotic symptoms , not the same symptoms as schizophrenia.
Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.
Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
@@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.
@FlyingMonkies325 Thankyou for this explanation, it’s very descriptive. ❤ for you for bringing this battle experience out into a public shout. Wish you well ❤️🩹
You'll never realize how many people you have helped, being so open and vulnerable. Thank you so much.
It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.
As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤
I feel you
What auto immune system do you have of you don't mind me asking
It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways.
But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.
My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle
My heart goes out to you.
Yes. There is grieving also for the life you thought you would have. My daughter was in her early 20's when her disease really excelerated.
Lauren, you’re the hero, advocate and pioneer we need (no pressure! 😅), to blow the lid off the *utterly medieval* treatment of mental illness and the current, *terrible* experience of hospitalization.
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and making us all feel a little less alone. ❤🙏🌈
Change must come. It must! When you’re feeling better, your next series could focus on what we can do as a community to educate, fund-raise, advance research, and improve support for mental illness.
Truly, you’re a gift! 🌈🩷
Looking forward to your autobiography one day! 😉
When even her own DOCTOR'S knee jerk response for a request for help is to CALL the POLICE and have her HANDCUFFED and transported to a Psych ward only to end up in jail!!!!!!!!!!
A brave lady helping others by just being open and honest.❤
You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤
My wife has been hospitalized 83 days. I haven’t had any contact with her in 78 days due to paranoia.
I miss Laura. ❤
Oh man. I can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. I’m sorry. 😔 💕
I'm sorry.
🙏🏼😢
I'm so sorry
May God bless you for having patience and love for your wife!!!! I hope you have the strength to stay with your wife and have patience with her.❤
You are helping de stigmatize mental health/mental illness. Thanks to you and Rob. ❤
When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕
I think that now that she can recognize that she actually needs hospitalization when things are getting out of hand she is finally becoming able to manage the illness. I believe it is a great progress in learning how to live with the illness.
Thank you for sharing your story. My mother was diagnosed schizophrenic in her late 40's. It did not have a happy ending for my family. Since I am no longer able to talk to her about it, your videos are giving me a little bit of insight into what she may have felt. In a way it gives me a tiny bit of peace and understanding.
Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.
💟 Lauren & Rob you are two wonderful humans. Thanks for all that you do.
we all love you lauren, never forget that
If this particular video episode of your journey doesn’t help, even if in a small way, bring us all closer to a stigma-free world regarding mental illness then nothing will. Open and honest conversation about every facet of what people with mental illness (and their loved ones) go through HAS to happen, or the stigma will persist. I've watched MANY of your videos and this one has had the most impact.Thank you and your husband and family soooo much for sharing. ❤
You are so brave, sweet and transparent. I knew nothing about this diagnosis until listening to your channel. Thank you for the education. Kudos for being open and encouraging others to do the same. Rob, you are an amazing support!
I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.
³⁴0
It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.
It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊
@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.
@meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.
@@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.
@stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%
Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).
Lauren & Rob you two are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing so openly what you’re going through with your illness. It has truly helped me understand how to better support people around me and be more open minded.
You’re making the world a better place and I have the greatest respect for you ❤
You are so brave. I couldn’t imagine living with this condition. I’ve had depression, suicidal thoughts in my past but that was due to my circumstances at the time and it was controlled with medication. Mental illness is still an issue that people don’t understand and luckily we have awesome people like yourself that put themselves out there to share awareness and be honest about it.
I don’t understand the people who have those criticisms, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. It feels like they want a spectacle to gawk at. You are not obligated to share anything that you don’t want to share. It isn’t unreasonable to not make content when you’re unwell. No one is thinking about making content in the middle of a psychotic episode. It’s absurd to even suggest that you should. Anyone saying this stuff fundamentally does not understand mental illness. How selfish and rude of them.
I totally agree. I do understand that those who do not have it in their life and are helped by seeing it would want more exposure. Sometimes things are not understood until you see the worst. That being said, it should not be demanded or expected or made to feel like a spectacle. It is also sometimes cathartic to others who struggle to see it with someone else and sometimes can provide insight into something you were unaware of in yourself or someone who you love who has similar struggles. Again with respect and free will and not demanded. But there are also those who have a more malice view sadly. Who want to feel superior but this would be my understanding of those who have better intentions.
My thoughts exactly
Some people with schizophrenia don't really see themselves in her. Think about what the main problem with schizophrenia is- loss of cognitive function. Yet here is a woman who has a degree and a family and a job. 90% of schizophrenics are unemployed. It's the disability with the highest unemployment rate.
On RUclips and other places on the internet there's this push to make disability palatable for mass consumption. I don't think it's on purpose in a lot of cases or it is a coping strategy for others but when you show up perfectly coifed with a clean house, supportive family, and are presenting as very functional it feels disingenuous to the vast majority whose lives are not like that. When I was in peer support groups the vast majority did not have half of those things. Lots of people had been living in half way houses, on tiny disability checks, unable to work, coping poorly on meds that didn't work for them prescribed by doctors who weren't very interested in helping beyond the bare minimum. Lots of people were estranged from their families or stuck in toxic relationships. There was a lack of education and lack of resources. People struggled so hard to survive. Some people had even been arrested for being symptomatic in public. It's much harder to be a schizophrenic black man, for example. I think Lauren is extremely lucky to be where she is. I don't say that to put her down but to point out that the reality is much starker for many people so I can see why they resent this presentation.
Because people don't understand schizophrenia they Want to see what the 'bad' part is, or what goes on in someone's head during psychosis. They want to know the whole story so they can understand fully. // Not sharing that kind of info makes this a channel more of a support for people and families already dealing with schizophrenia, than for people who are trying to learn more about it.
This is a little off-topic, but this is a quote from the movie One Hour Photo. "People take pictures of the happy moments in their lives. Someone looking through our photo album would conclude that we had led a joyous, leisurely existence... free of tragedy. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget."
That's not the only reason you don't post video of psychotic episodes. It sounds like an intense and very personal event. I wouldn't post a video of me vomiting for hours or curled up in the fetal position on a channel about migraines.
That’s such a great movie!
@@elcapitan24 it might be, but I wouldn't post it. It's like posting naked pictures of yourself, but two steps beyond. It's not just me at my most vulnerable, it's reliving it with each comment, good or bad. The sympathetic comments would be tough to read. Anything about it being staged or not that bad would just feel devastating.
Lauren, be nice to yourself. You are doing very well and getting sicker does not reflect bad on any part of you. I know you’re scared. Guilt is good for nothing when you didn’t choose to do anything.
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable with your illness and with your recent hospitalization. I learned a lot from this video and from your other videos, and they help me to be more compassionate.
You’re not alone because you have somebody who cares for you and loves you. And they are waiting for you when you get out. That makes all the difference! Our grown son has schizophrenia and has been hospitalized many times since 2013. It is always difficult and we have learned which psychiatric hospitals are better and which ones we will never visit again. It is always traumatic but sometimes a medicine change while in the hospital will help improve things a little. I’m so glad you made this channel for all of us out here in the same boat. Thanks! ❤ from David in Houston, Texas.
I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!
Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.
Its not often people are open about their experiences, but Lauren enables an open conversation about these things on a large platform. You rock Lauren, I think you’re so resilient.
It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤
You're so easily relatable and incredibly articulate. I am soooo glad I found your channel. Thank you for being so blunt, as well as courageous!
This video is so authentic and your experience and Rob's are genuine and thank you both. How you feel is valid. Thank you for sharing everything you have, it does give so much insight that many are not willing or to afraid to share ❤
Very courageous to be so transparant. Go you guys!
I am a retired social worker/mental health thetapist. After watching any of your viedo I have the utmost respect and admirat
Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!
This world is such a better place with you in it. Wishing you peace in the upcoming months.
Thank you for continuing to update us, as you recover. You are a warrior. I love that you have been transparent. It has helped me to understand so much more, about my dad and his mental illness. Take good care of yourself. ❤
You have an amazing talent in communicating your feelings and thoughts! I'm really impressed.
Think of each hospitalization as a learning experience. And you move forward. It's not a personal failure.
It's a success to know that you needed help and got it
You are not wrong about the extreme mental stress that come with menstruation and sinus pressure (colds). These things on top of life stress will ALWAYS put my mental health in the dumpster.
Thank you for being so transparent. You help me understand my children who have schizophrenia. 💝
The information and ultimately education you are humbly providing is a true gift.
Thank you do much.
It is super upsetting that the POLICE are called in these events. POLICE presence can escalate things unnecessarily. I don't have a solution, but am merely observing that there should be another step in place.
The way mental events are handled leaves much to be desired.
Love and healing to you ❤
I get what you say, but in Rob's situation, with a person on the road who is in psychosis and a very possible danger to everyone around her, police is the only option.
There is no other step for stopping somebody in a car on the road, when you don't even know where they are.
@@fuchsfarben yes of course I understand the urgency of the operation of heavy dangerous machinery...
However there are opportunities (I am not picking on these folks' situation, it is just one of many examples) to have people/steps in place PRIOR to police enforcement to help. Maybe trusted people, a point person that is not necessarily family, but a GUIDE of some sort to walk with and through with the person experiencing the episode. Like she said, family can be a paranoia trigger and also adds shame of what you "are putting your family through" which doesn't help.
Hmmm... a psychosis guide - like a guardian angel....
@@thedavesiknow4598es, they should have trained intervention people who would be able to say the right words to someone in psychosis who could deescalate the situation. I suppose, there could be too much of a risk and things could escalate quickly. It just seems so unfair. I mean Rob is a safe person, yet while in a state of psychosis she is even afraid of him. She understands and knows this once the episode is over. Since she isn’t at the moment able to think rationally, anyone could become “the enemy”. Just so hard. Having to “endure” the “checkin” process would be sheer torture for someone in psychosis! My heart breaks for her, and yet she is so passionate about using her painful experiences to help others! An amazing person! The pain in her eyes as she relays this episode is so obviously there! She so much wants to be free of this!
Locally they try to call the health service mental health crisis team, rather than general police now. If possible.
@@thedavesiknow4598 that's a good idea and could be part of someone's Wellness Action Plan.
Here they've tried to improve things, with each police station and A&E department having a mental health professional available 24/7. Also the health service mental health Crisis Team or Direct Brief Intervention Team are usually called.
And if someone is only intermittently losing reality and not too disjointed in their thinking, it CAN be possible to de-escalate by listening and putting yourself in their shoes. Avoiding clumsy 'threatening' behaviours.
I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual!
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.
You are an amazing person and your videos help people with all kinds of mental illnesses.❤️
Thank you for being open about this. My husband was hospitalized last year, and still doesn't want to discuss it. You are more helpful than you realize. And good for you for mustering up the strength to put yourself together! Much love to you and your family.
Thank you for sharing this. Rob sounds like a great partner and so supportive and understanding.
Sanitizing your uploads, “putting your best foot forward “ is so human. We want so much to maintain our dignity. Beginning this project was so helpful to so many of us. Getting more & more transparent and less afraid to tell your truth is hard- but so helpful to us- who suffer & try to help those who suffer. Compounding this struggle, is trying to “protect “ all the significant ones in your life. Here’s a grateful hug. ❤️
Well said
You're an amazing woman. Rob is lucky to be with you.
I hope you don't feel pressure to have to make videos about all of your experiences. You don't need that added pressure. Of course if you want to do so and it helps, that's different.
Exactly
same here
I agree. I feel like people don't realize that this is HER channel and HER life...and they end up treating her like a product/spectacle. It's not her responsibility to share everything she experiences.
Well her “partner” manipulates her into filming when she’s in a vulnerable place. It’s mentioned in the beginning of the video that she’s doesn’t want to be doing this but Rob wants her to. She will NEVER heal in this environment because he will always be manipulating her thoughts and actions, which is NOT helpful for someone struggling to have two firm feet planted in reality. Abuse causes paranoia, it doesn’t create an environment to take it away.
@@alienateddShe wouldn't have parinoia about people mind controling her if her whole life wasn't controlled by Rob
Lauren and Rob I am so sorry you have to go through these difficult experiences. I can hear the pain in your voices. Your insight and ability to share your experience with the rest of us is such a blessing, sending love and hugs, wishing you and your littles the best ❤ 😊
This is a pretty amazing channel, and I applaud you both for taking this on…my wife has struggled with psychosis for our whole relationship of over 16 years and has had several hospitalizations throughout. These are hard for everyone involved and to deal with these issues the right way is difficult and hard to explain or comprehend, but you guys are doing a great job of it. Keep it up!
So proud of you for realizing you needed help. It just shows what a wonderful and loving mother you are.
You're so well-spoken and a great educator. Thank you for taking the time to tell us about your experiences - I imagine it's difficult at times to talk about stuff that's so personal to you but I'm incredibly grateful that you are. Take care of yourself ❤️
People with cancer have to go to hospital. People who have strokes have to go to hospital . Etc....people with mental illness may have to go to hospital. Best wishes to you both and kids...
When someone is sick of cancer or fever it is ok they always go back and forth to hospital but if it is illness of psychosis etc. the society will always looks at it with a different outlook. Why cant they be like any other illness? Maybe because we do not accept it as illness of any kind. I hope one day the society will accept it as normal illness we send them to hospital like any other illness is sent to hospital and no more expectations
Thank you so much for your bravery to be so open and vulnerable about your experience. I have someone in my life struggling with schizophrenia but he is unable to communicate as well as you do about his experience. While I’m sure that your experiences are different, your willingness to share has given me the ability to understand him a little bit better. You are a blessing. ❤
So grateful to you Lauren for sharing. This is so validating. Thank you for your courage being vulnerable with us. You are making a difference 🙏
I'm awed by your bravery to choose to be hospitalized. After the traumas of previous hospitalizations, it must have taken so much courage to move down that path. You are an amazing individual ... and that goes for Rob too.
You are a hero. Educating us about the actual experience of mental illness. You are brave, and courageous for surrendering your privacy to lift others up and educate those who don’t have this particular disorder. I so admire you and your family. I send you my admiration and my respect. Brava to you.
This has been so interesting and education to follow. I have mental health issues but I don't have schizoaffective disorder or psychosis so very interesting to see how it can be for a person suffering with it and how hospitalization can work.
I hope one day you will give yourself the grace you show so many others. Feel better soon.
Lauren: you are an inspiration to so many. Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m so happy for you and your family that you are feeling better.
I felt uncomfortable with some of the language here and want to give my perspective : Rob was the one who didn’t do what he should have. He knew you were having psychosis and he knew you had taken a sedating med. both of those situations could make you forget or not make the best choices about driving. Rob should have kept the keys and let you know clearly: I am worried you might try to drive in your current state and that’s not safe.” Rob was the person with the capacity to make a good choice in The moment and you were not; you were impaired by illness and medication. I don’t think you were abusive; you were ill. I don’t like that Rob seems to have put you on the spot here to record this shaming statement (and maybe one that could be used against you in some kind of custody situation). Glad you went to the hospital and got the treatment you needed. Hope there are many many great days ahead!!
Yeah I'm sensing something that makes me uncomfortable too. A bit worried for her, and not because of the schizophrenia.
Yes this is what I feel too. Even though they are married and he is supporting her. The phrase I trust u to have these ... Would piss anyone off. Kinda like he is the one who decides, and the probing questions of "tell them how u hurt me," or when she was like I knew u were at the hotel because he broke into her private account. Then at the end to record her and make her have no choice but to return to the hospital.... Man I appreciate the monitoring but this could also be gaslighting, and if one was to remove her issues this would be a controlling partner, and if u take someone's keys from them that kidnapping... I wonder if he gives her space enough just to be pist and have a cool down, without threatening police and hospitalization. I get the impaired driving, But I have to take a break from my husband and kid when I'm mad. I wish he would have just stayed at the hotel with her until a bed was available. I went once with an assessed tooth, which they didn't prioritize either, it made it 100% worse and super embarrassing because the pain was so bad I was crying and angry.
Hey Rob please don't slap her in the face with this video when she's vulnerable like that! if at all possible Join her and wait for a break to talk things out. She's clearly interested in being healthy. And let her just be pist sometimes. Ur not always perfect. Everybody is an A-Hole sometimes. Thanks so much both of you. This was an incredible video
I am so glad I’m not the only one who felt this. This video made me so uncomfortable - there have been occasions in a few videos that have been red flags for me. The statement ‘tell them how you hurt me’ - her vulnerability seems to be used against her. She’s always looking to him for approval/validation. She is an amazing strength in herself but I’m getting a bad feeling. I wish her well.
Imagine making the type of judgments your making based off the amount of information you have.
How many of you are partners with a person suffering like this.
Stop
Spot on! It’s unsettling how he abandoned her at her most fragile state and the. Sit behind camera and points out everything she did wrong. I’m telling you this dude is brainwashing her and making no her feel like she’s crazier than what she really is. And he has her kids and family brainwashed. He has the control.
So courageous - you have no idea how much you are helping people.
Don't be so hard on yourself Lauren. You're such an inspiration to me. You're not abusive, you can't blame yourself for the things you do when you're in a psychotic state you're very much not in control or at least have minimal control. You know you would never do those things if you were in a well state. You know you're a good person and you fight your illness so valiantly and love your loved ones so strongly. I have nothing but admiration for you.
It is abuse to bring young children to a psych ward and tell them about terrifying paranoid delusions.
@@ChaiChai1965 it’s not abuse to bring your children into a psych ward the same way it’s not abuse to bring a child into a regular hospital to visit a parent who is sick. And there is a child appropriate way to explain any illness.
Lauren you are absolutely incredible and worth so much. My husband Chris has paranoid Schizophrenia and he has his ups and downs. I suffer with depression and C-PTSD and also have my demons. You and Rob inspire every day you post. You kind of enlighten my path in taking care of both of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you share. Much love from South Africa 💚💞💜
If you’re ever feeling up to it - please create a video on the positives and negatives of care you’ve received while hospitalized. Discuss how you’ve felt best supported by nurses, techs, etc. Your videos beautifully humanize all aspects of chronic mental health challenges. Viewing care from a patient’s perspective really impacts those that work in mental health facilities - not all are there just to receive a paycheck. Thank you for sharing your experience. Continued blessings on holistic health for you and your family.
absolutely amazing and so so valuable to see someone taking accountability for their actions like this. thank you for being so honest
"It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.
Don't ever be embarrased about admitting yourself or being admitted into a psych ward.
For all their failures and limitations, these wards are there to provide us with a safe place to minimise the potential of harm. Use them as regularly as you need them ❤
Can't tell you enough Lauren, how your willingness to share these experiences, as traumatic as they are, does so much to reduce the isolation and stigma faced by so many of us battling with mental health.
My ER experience was so terrible, they kicked me out after they admitted me and went looking for me. It felt abusive .
And it was. Bullying is a full on skill taught social workers and nurses dealing with mental illness. Psychs who graduated at the lowest half of the class who are the ones you get in psych wards just use overdosing to bully you with.
Mine wasn't so great, either. My husband is not able to have his truck right now and he doesn't fit well in the car with his prosthetic leg. So when they wanted to admit me, I had to drive him home. That means I left "against medical advice" and had to come right back and wait in line again. It was pretty awful. They also didn't want to pay my hospital bill at first either but that got figured out pretty easily.
I’m so sorry. There definitely has to be better systems put in place to prevent those in “power” from abusing those who are vulnerable and in need - in any situation. God bless you and protect you and anyone else in these situations in Jesus’s Holy Name. I am committed to making more loving environments for people in need! 🙏💖
This has to stop. Blasting medical professionals is counterproductive. We are there to help ppl. All pts! We do not discriminate. You are privileged to have a safe place to go to. What would you have us do when you are in psychosis ? We are stretched to the limits as is with beds etc. Have more respect for medical staff!
@@JulieLorraine1How are things going to improve if people don't point these things out?
Not only do I appreciate your well thought out, candid experiences and education on mental health and your life. I also find your voice very calming and relaxing. I have major struggles with anxiety and it’s always before bed. I always listen to your videos. They are thought provoking and informative and you get me in a zen place. Makes me feel both not alone and relaxed. Thank you