Coping with Schizophrenia: My Experience in the Psych Ward

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  • Опубликовано: 21 июн 2023
  • I share what all happened and my thoughts and feelings about my recent hospitalization for a psychotic episode as a result of my schizoaffective disorder.
    Related videos:
    ‘I’m in psychosis right now’ - • I'm in psychosis right...
    ‘Hello from the psych ward’ - • Hello from the psych ward
    ‘A day in my life as a psych ward hospital patient | VLOG’ - • A Day in My Life as a ...
    'I'm out of the hospital' - • I'm out of the hospital
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Комментарии • 2,7 тыс.

  • @LivingWellwithSchizophrenia
    @LivingWellwithSchizophrenia  10 месяцев назад +50

    JOIN OUR ONLINE PEER SUPPORT COMMUNITY
    Schizophrenia Peer Support Community: www.schizophreniapeersupport.com

    • @paulflint6254
      @paulflint6254 10 месяцев назад +2

      joined ❤️

    • @NeonCicada
      @NeonCicada 9 месяцев назад +3

      Finding this online community has truly changed my life.

    • @YANDEX30V
      @YANDEX30V 9 месяцев назад

      What do you do for a living; what's your occupation.

    • @YANDEX30V
      @YANDEX30V 9 месяцев назад +1

      Were you diagnosed before you became a mother?

    • @YANDEX30V
      @YANDEX30V 9 месяцев назад

      So you drive under the influence. Thts irresponsible

  • @Readzboox
    @Readzboox 10 месяцев назад +1916

    My mom is schizophrenic and raised 7 kids on her own. Needless to say I visited her in psych wards way more times than I can count. My mother never sugar coated anything and always was brutally honest even with her youngest kids. I just want to let you know as a child raised by a beautiful single mom struggling with schizophrenia I can say I was never negatively effected by my mothers illness. It made me a more compassionate person

    • @martinasikk6162
      @martinasikk6162 10 месяцев назад +56

      Thank you for your comment.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 10 месяцев назад +72

      One for you ❤️ and one for your lovely gem of a mum ❤️

    • @Oaktreealley
      @Oaktreealley 10 месяцев назад +67

      It sounds like your mom was honest about her struggles and willing to get help when she needed it. That's really great and helpful.

    • @paulamccarthy8197
      @paulamccarthy8197 10 месяцев назад +14

      Was all the children the same? Bless your mum

    • @Readzboox
      @Readzboox 10 месяцев назад +74

      @@paulamccarthy8197 It’s interesting because of the seven kids we all experienced our mothers illness differently. Like we went through the same thing but have very different takes on it. Only one of the seven of us has a negative outlook and does not speak with my mother any longer. My childhood was full of love and we were always encouraged to express ourselves creatively through art if different mediums.

  • @itditb
    @itditb 10 месяцев назад +2131

    To be honest, I don't like when people criticize her for showing "only the good side". Aren't we all sick of hearing stories about how once you are diagnosed with schizophrenia, you are only getting worse from there? She and other influencers with schizophrenia are beyond important because they give hope to everyone that they can live with their illness, not only to people with schiziphrenia.

    • @sweetluvgurl
      @sweetluvgurl 10 месяцев назад +87

      I think both sides are important, personally. It’s good to give hope but also important to be realistic, and authentic, as well.

    • @debw5203
      @debw5203 10 месяцев назад +42

      I agree with you. Watching Lauren's videos has been very educational and eye opening for me.

    • @gigahorse1475
      @gigahorse1475 10 месяцев назад +59

      I agree. I think all stories need to be told but I think we don’t all need constant devastation and despair, like our lives are nothing more than illness. I’m trying to get out of that mentality.

    • @mariahconklin4150
      @mariahconklin4150 10 месяцев назад +9

      I get worried I have it sometimes because I've experienced some of the things she has experienced but I never hear voices I have Auditory Processing Disorder and I'll do strange things. But now I'm being diagnosed with possibly Bipolar 1? It's so strange what next Sciophective disorder? It's just strange.

    • @judithstrenio9552
      @judithstrenio9552 10 месяцев назад +20

      ⁠@@mariahconklin4150 mental health is not well understood, even by doctors. Don’t give up on trying to get help to manage life more easily.

  • @KaleighKahakui
    @KaleighKahakui 10 месяцев назад +605

    I’m an ER nurse. Thank you for sharing your story so I can better understand my patients.

  • @brittanywilcox7377
    @brittanywilcox7377 10 месяцев назад +505

    You got through a global pandemic without being hospitalized. That's impressive.

    • @kimberlymiller655
      @kimberlymiller655 10 месяцев назад +12

      Great point about that.

    • @brittanywilcox7377
      @brittanywilcox7377 10 месяцев назад +28

      @@michelledarby6729 imagine writing something so stupid on a public forum

    • @brittanywilcox7377
      @brittanywilcox7377 10 месяцев назад +4

      @@michelledarby6729 I can tell

    • @Hiforest
      @Hiforest 9 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@michelledarby6729read the room, Michelle!

    • @dhhayden
      @dhhayden 9 месяцев назад +6

      @@michelledarby6729 You’re not her psychiatrist. Quit using your google degree to diagnose strangers you’ve never met. It’s embarrassing 🙄

  • @loganplonski922
    @loganplonski922 10 месяцев назад +1056

    Being hospitalized isn't a personal failure on your part. Sometimes you just need extra help and that's okay.

    • @shellyann8818
      @shellyann8818 10 месяцев назад +14

      ❤❤

    • @liliankimani9524
      @liliankimani9524 10 месяцев назад +13

      I am so sorry about what you went through. You are very useful to many. I love and respect you. I hope you don't feel too bad that you were hospitalized.

    • @sweetluvgurl
      @sweetluvgurl 10 месяцев назад +9

      I know that I personally felt like a failure, too, when I ended up at a psych ward. I think those moments are some of the lowest in a person’s life. And the fact that the system is such a mess in that area, too, is what bothers me. I refuse to ever go back, no matter what, because they messed up my physical health medications, and they just messed up in different areas in general, and it was too complex with my situation with my rare condition, Escobar Syndrome, that I was born with and my physical disability. The psych ward isn’t for everyone and sometimes leaves people actually worse off. I couldn’t be paid to endure any of that ever again. No thanks. If it helps some, then that’s great, but it can be awful for others.

    • @calliea9064
      @calliea9064 10 месяцев назад +5

      It’s a huge success that you agreed to go to the hospital

    • @shannonwelsh5830
      @shannonwelsh5830 10 месяцев назад

      ❤❤❤

  • @anonnymousperson
    @anonnymousperson 10 месяцев назад +669

    Shout out to Rob. Thank you for your kindness and empathy to your partner.

    • @amyblack1052
      @amyblack1052 10 месяцев назад +9

      Again
      .....u are blessed with a partner whom supports u

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 10 месяцев назад +12

      For sure. Although at the same time, if someone had said, “I’m not taking the keys, I’m trusting you,” I would have grabbed them and driven away faster than you can count to 1.

    • @hopegold883
      @hopegold883 10 месяцев назад +2

      Not to criticize him. Not his fault he thinks differently.

    • @moseseba2117
      @moseseba2117 10 месяцев назад +15

      i need me a rob..

    • @irishgirl1753
      @irishgirl1753 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@moseseba2117me too ❤️

  • @michellem1862
    @michellem1862 10 месяцев назад +305

    My daughter has Schizoeffective Disorder and I have tried to gather as much information as I could to try to understand what she is going through. Your channel is so helpful to me. I use the information you give me to recognize the symptoms and keep her safe. You are saving peoples lives. How brave of you to share your story. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

    • @LAF1967
      @LAF1967 4 месяца назад +4

      So glad you have this. 20 years ago my mom and I had no help with my brother. No info barley any info

    • @KB-iz1yw
      @KB-iz1yw 3 месяца назад +1

      Schizophrenia and Schizoaffective are different! Schizoaffective is like Schizophrenia + Bipolar lol

    • @MR.AIRWALK
      @MR.AIRWALK 3 месяца назад

      My daughter has it as well, I’m living the same experience 💕

    • @abdulhye5052
      @abdulhye5052 3 месяца назад +1

      What is schzo's obsessive disorder?

  • @operationpower4245
    @operationpower4245 10 месяцев назад +245

    I have a mother with schizophrenia who also experienced a lot of paranoia surrounding me and my sister. It ended up leading to a lot of abuse over the years and, because of this, I remember feeling almost angry when I watched your pregnancy announcement. This video made me feel very differently, though. I'm so proud of you for going to the hospital when you did. I can tell that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep your kids safe and it sounds like you're a wonderful mother to them.

    • @ZijnShayatanica
      @ZijnShayatanica 10 месяцев назад +36

      As someone who also experienced abuse as a result of my mother's untreated Bipolar/psychosis & drug abuse... I definitely feel you. I really wish I had a parent more like Lauren, who has an understanding of & willingness to treat her illness - in addition to a strong desire to protect her children from the worst of it. I'm very proud of her, too, & I'm grateful that Rob is a supportive partner & stable father for the kids.

    • @ccs9769
      @ccs9769 7 месяцев назад +5

      good choices,agreed

  • @etiennen4948
    @etiennen4948 10 месяцев назад +365

    My wife has been hospitalized 83 days. I haven’t had any contact with her in 78 days due to paranoia.
    I miss Laura. ❤

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 10 месяцев назад +53

      Oh man. I can’t even imagine what you’re both going through. I’m sorry. 😔 💕

    • @RebeccaLynnMusic
      @RebeccaLynnMusic 10 месяцев назад +22

      I'm sorry.

    • @stephanieramirez4645
      @stephanieramirez4645 10 месяцев назад +11

      🙏🏼😢

    • @tamaradowney9947
      @tamaradowney9947 10 месяцев назад +18

      I'm so sorry

    • @reneeupdike2220
      @reneeupdike2220 10 месяцев назад +24

      May God bless you for having patience and love for your wife!!!! I hope you have the strength to stay with your wife and have patience with her.❤

  • @Lady_Katie
    @Lady_Katie 10 месяцев назад +232

    I’m a mom with rapid cycling bipolar. I want to share something my husband told me after my worst psychotic suicidal episode. When I would have these episodes I would feel so guilty and tell my husband to divorce me so he and my 2 year old son wouldn’t have to be around me. He responded with, “I knew what I signed up for when I married you, and I would do it again. And you are the best mom for our son. He will learn about mental illness from you. He doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs a real mom. We both love you and never want to be without you.” It was the catalyst for me to go on more powerful meds and ultimately saved my life. Never give up. You have not failed. I have also been hospitalized and made involuntary. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you positive I’ve vibes ❤️❤️❤️

    • @yehhshhs
      @yehhshhs 10 месяцев назад

      pls what kind of meds helped you there? i neeed help

    • @kvetoslavakveta8111
      @kvetoslavakveta8111 10 месяцев назад +2

      Moja dcera bola 2 mesiace hospitalizovaná, bolo to veľmi ťažké pre celú rodinu, veľmi nam chýbala chodili sme za ňou stále, boli s nou rodičia sestry. Už je doma 1 pol roka, zatiaľ je OK.. Lieky berie poctivo, uvedomuje si zatiaľ ze ináč to nebude dobré!! Aj hospitalizovana bola preto že neuzivala lieky!! Sme všetci šťastný že je doma a tešíme sa každý deň!! Mame sa veľmi radi a nieje snáď deň aby sme sa neobjali!! ❤❤Píšem to hlavne preto aby sye vedeli že aj keď sye chorí, veľmi Vás lubime!! ❤❤Píšem to ako mama dcéry ktorá si prešla niečím podobným!!! Veľa zdravia šťastia a lásky Vam prajem❤❤🙏🙏

    • @ZijnShayatanica
      @ZijnShayatanica 10 месяцев назад +2

      ​​@@yehhshhs'm not the OP, but I was also rapid cycling Bipolar I w/ a lottttttt of psychosis. Arguably, I could have been dx'd w/ Schizoaffective, but my psychs have said it's splitting hairs when the treatment is more or less the same. But I think it's probably closer to Schizoaffective because I can get [albeit mild] psychosis around my period, but not a mood episode.
      I've tried a lot of different meds, but what helped me the most is Lamotrigine 150mg/day & some PRN Risperidone 0.5mg when I notice any breakthrough psychosis... Bear in mind, I metabolize medications weirdly & a normal person might need a much higher dosage than me!! During the worst of my psychosis, I needed 1-2mg of Risperidone every day for two weeks or more in order to break through the wall of psychosis... But Lamotrigine has kept me almost totally episode-free for the last 9 years - it has quite literally saved my life.
      Seroquel was too sedating for me, personally, even at 50mg, so... Most other antipsychotics were off the table w/ my respiratory depression. Depakote caused me some stomach issues. Lithium threw my electrolytes out of whack & I was dehydrated & getting weird symptoms. Risperidone gives me a high prolactin level if I take it too often & I randomly lactate, but that's the only real side effect I experience! And it goes away eventually.
      I was SO AFRAID of the Lamotrigine rash & it caused a lot of paranoia, but... I started the meds veryyyyyyy slowlyyyyy & it is one I will never stop taking. Life w/o fear of my own mind & the world around me is too precious! My only side effects were a pretty bad headache/dizziness for the first week after dose increases.
      Sorry for the essay, lol!!

    • @fatumataholloway4897
      @fatumataholloway4897 9 месяцев назад +1

      Lots of sympathy.

    • @Natalie-sb3km
      @Natalie-sb3km 8 месяцев назад

      @@ZijnShayatanicathank you for your comment 💜

  • @sylkebunschoten9018
    @sylkebunschoten9018 10 месяцев назад +156

    This should be a basic part of the curriculum for psychiatric nurses / doctors etc. This is so incredibly valuable work you guys are doing!

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia 10 месяцев назад +3

      Exactly! I’m going to recommend that my psychiatrist watch this last suite of videos. There are so many unseized opportunities to include lived experience voices in mental health training.

    • @russellandrews4999
      @russellandrews4999 10 месяцев назад

      I agree 100%

    • @julief4153
      @julief4153 10 месяцев назад

      couldn’t agree more

    • @sicilyny5375
      @sicilyny5375 4 месяца назад +4

      For all doctors and nurses..not just specializing in psychiatric patients.

    • @tonicongemi3426
      @tonicongemi3426 4 месяца назад

      ABSOLUTELY !

  • @rcp2212
    @rcp2212 10 месяцев назад +110

    As the husband of someone who had a similar experience years ago, here is further encouragement for the future of your family. Both of our kids are in their 40s. They’re independent, successful and are healthy in body, spirit and mind. Each recently remembered their childhood as being great! In just 3 days we are 48 years married. I can tell you have the key to a similar outcome.

    • @bhanusri3732
      @bhanusri3732 9 месяцев назад +3

      So children don't inherit schizophrenia because I have schizophrenia too and I am afraid of my kids having it if I have kids

    • @rcp2212
      @rcp2212 9 месяцев назад +5

      My kids did not inherit their mom’s mental illness. I don’t know if there was a greater chance of developing a mental illness but it certainly is not automatic.

    • @lookingupwithwonder
      @lookingupwithwonder 6 месяцев назад

      ​​@@bhanusri3732it's genetic, but not 100% guaranteed. The most important stuff to teach kids with high genetic loading for schizophrenia are healthy stress management and stay away from marijuana.

    • @sampal5352
      @sampal5352 5 месяцев назад +1

      So kind ❤

  • @Twinkie989
    @Twinkie989 10 месяцев назад +341

    My psychosis only ever happened around my period. I had my ovaries removed (and also stopped taking meds- which were making it all worse) and have not had a single other psychotic episode. Do not underestimate the sickness and hormones.

    • @ImQuiteGay
      @ImQuiteGay 10 месяцев назад +24

      I’m glad you found a solution 🙏

    • @masha5444
      @masha5444 10 месяцев назад +38

      I have what has been diagnosed as PMDD, and have for many years struggled with depression, that I didn’t realize was connected to my cycle. Now, I believe that in the past it would always start before my period, and with little awareness, I would just let myself slip deeper into the darkness and not know how to get back. Watching this video, I recognize myself somewhat, but so far I’m able to push through without meds. I wonder at which point do you really KNOW you need medical treatment. I usually have suicidal thoughts, and a sense of “doom”, best way I can describe it is, world turns dark, people are cold and can’t be trusted, because they’re ill themselves (and most don’t realize it). Every time it feels pre apocalyptic? Like i’m done with my life and am now awaiting something that will bring clarity and put everything either to end, or in its place.

    • @peggysue1725
      @peggysue1725 10 месяцев назад +12

      I just lately figured out this keeps happening around my period. Damn :/

    • @Kanggaxx
      @Kanggaxx 10 месяцев назад +1

      Wow that's so interesting. Thanks for sharing. This is going into the memory bank.

    • @Twinkie989
      @Twinkie989 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@masha5444 They can prescribe medications that you just take before your period. Meds make me worse, but for most people, this could help PMDD. Don't give up seeking treatment.
      They can also put you on a birth control to stop your cycle.

  • @Nicholasrasmusen
    @Nicholasrasmusen 10 месяцев назад +420

    Abusive seems like a very harsh term to describe your behavior. Abuse is defined as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." Based off of what you described, this behavior does not seem abusive. It's possible to hurt people unintentionally without it being abuse.

    • @alicemarks7468
      @alicemarks7468 10 месяцев назад +22

      agree

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia 10 месяцев назад +84

      Agree. I want to give Lauren a hug and tell her she is a good person. Not abusive, not narcissistic, not trauma-inducing, not any of the negative words she used to describe herself in this video. As psych survivors we internalize so much shame and guilt that doesn’t belong to us.

    • @jonathanlewis453
      @jonathanlewis453 10 месяцев назад +3

      This may be symptomatic.

    • @Bethechange197
      @Bethechange197 10 месяцев назад +17

      It is 100 percent abusive to bring kids to a psych unit and explain your terrifying delusions of being poisoned with them. Absolutely, positively abusive. She's is not their mother. I would never forgive someone for exposing my children to that. It would be a cold day in hell , in fact, before I ever left them alone with her. I probably would not let them even see her. Her delusions were about the kids. Everyone is so loving and she deserves compassion. But she is hurting someone else's kids. It's so uncool. If she wants to expose her TWO YEAR OLD to that, ok. But the mother of the other two needs to protect them immediately.

    • @80islandia
      @80islandia 10 месяцев назад +112

      @@Bethechange197 She didn’t bring her kids to the psych ward. That was Rob’s choice. Then she carefully answered the eight year old’s questions about her symptoms when they got home.
      This is NOT abuse. This is like visiting any other family member who is sick in the hospital and providing an important educational experience.

  • @Jennifer-bw7ku
    @Jennifer-bw7ku 2 месяца назад +257

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 2 месяца назад +1

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 2 месяца назад

      Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @steceymorgan814
      @steceymorgan814 2 месяца назад

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 2 месяца назад

      Is he on instagram?

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 2 месяца назад

      Yes he is. dr.sporesss

  • @ralphloen6901
    @ralphloen6901 10 месяцев назад +80

    I have schizotypal disorder. I can understand why Lauren struggles to explain exactly what happens when the underlying mental architecture asserts itself. In some ways, it's like trying to explain how the subconscious mind administers digestion. It's critical to attempt to explain these types of experiences, regardless. People like us need to be heard.

    • @FlyingMonkies325
      @FlyingMonkies325 9 месяцев назад +1

      It is for lots of conditions i can't entirely explain what happens during my episodes that happen once every 2 - 4 months with my anxiety and depression and the hardest feeling to describe is this werd nagging feeling in my brain and body i don't know what it is... and every time i keep thinking maybe it's some kind of deficiency cos it feels like something has gone low in my body, it makes me feel this weird gnawing ache that makes me want to claw myself out of my own body i'm so uncomfortable and restless... and my body is screaming it at me, but then normally 3 or 4 days later i wake up and... it's like nothing happened😕lol it's like "is this a joke? it must be" lol, all that fuss and it just pretends nothing happened lol.
      There's a few other things too where it's really hard to describe cos i don't think there's really a name for some things cos nobody knows the deeper things going on, on a cellular and bio level, but i know that our bodies DO tell us when something is low in us in various ways but the main thing is how it makes us feel sooo maybe that's telling us something i don't know... but when you're feeling some of these symptoms it's indescribable but feels so awful, it's like something is there i want to get out of my body it's so gnawing at me is the best way to describe it, but i can't describe it beyond that.

    • @dianeblohm8969
      @dianeblohm8969 3 месяца назад

      Schizotypal is a personality disorder which does not include psychotic symptoms , not the same symptoms as schizophrenia.

    • @ralphloen6901
      @ralphloen6901 3 месяца назад

      Lauren is diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Some believe this is a variant of schizophrenia, some do not. Like schizoaffective, schizotypal disorder includes negative symptoms such as social anxiety, paranoia and magical thinking. Perhaps schizotypal has more in common with schizoaffective than schizophrenia.

    • @ralphloen6901
      @ralphloen6901 3 месяца назад

      Of course schizotypal people don't usually have auditory or visual hallucinations. Apparently some do; these don't persist as in schizophrenia. I have had few hallucinations myself. Schizotypal disorder and Borderline disorder were once lumped in to "Borderline Schizophrenic disorder". I think there is some disagreement among psychologists as to whether STpd is a personality disorder distinct from the schizophrenic spectrum. I can relate to things Lauren talks about but do not consider myself to be a schizophrenic person. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

    • @dianeblohm8969
      @dianeblohm8969 3 месяца назад

      @@ralphloen6901 I have been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. Never heard of Borderline Schizophrenic Disorder. I am not minimizing your experiences with mental health issues. Only trying to say that there is a significant clinical difference between Schizophrenia and Schizotypal PD. I agree Schizotypal has some similarities with Schizophrenia in that is are odd behaviors and beliefs. Be well.

  • @trudibourke5314
    @trudibourke5314 10 месяцев назад +359

    My darling girl, I think it is rare to have such insight into oneself, particularly with this illness. You are a marvelous educator and I wish you well.

    • @MargaritaMagdalena
      @MargaritaMagdalena 9 месяцев назад +1

      The fact that she has such good insight into herself makes her a bad educator, actually. Most schizophrenics have poor self-insight, which makes them completely different to the people around them. I've lived with a paranoid schizophrenic for 12 years and it was hell on earth.

    • @MargaritaMagdalena
      @MargaritaMagdalena 9 месяцев назад +4

      It's much more useful to know what schizophrenia looks like to friends and relatives, and also know what effect it has on the loved ones, especially underage children. This way, relatives of schizophrenics and those responsible for the underage children can recognize the disease and seek help for the schizophrenic and the family. Now THAT would be a real progress for society that would make people's lives better.

    • @davinadavina1331
      @davinadavina1331 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@MargaritaMagdalena how do you realize this being a paranoid schizophrenic. was it therapy that you learn compassion for yourself but the people in your life does not share the same compassion.
      family said you are the one with the problem. i dont need therapy, you do.
      i heard that line way too many times. therapy wont help if the stress is not inside us. it comes from somewhere else

    • @davidbenhoff9854
      @davidbenhoff9854 7 месяцев назад

      Perfectly said!

    • @lookingupwithwonder
      @lookingupwithwonder 6 месяцев назад +2

      ​@MargaritaMagdalena how can she be a "bad educator" if she is just honestly sharing her own lived experience of schizophrenia?
      Any honest accounts are good education, in my view

  • @louisepolley9707
    @louisepolley9707 10 месяцев назад +284

    This is brilliantly brave
    I cannot emphasize enough how inspired I am by you.

    • @louisepolley9707
      @louisepolley9707 10 месяцев назад +8

      Also I don't want to speak out of term because I am not a psychologist, but 4 years is a hell of a long time to maintain stability when you struggle with a mental illness. So try replace the shame with pride as far as possible.

    • @vidmantaskvidmantask7134
      @vidmantaskvidmantask7134 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@louisepolley9707 She felt guilty i saw and recognise that from her expressions and voice.

  • @just-a-yt-guy
    @just-a-yt-guy 10 месяцев назад +36

    I think this channel is great at achieving two main things.
    1. Helping people who are suffering with mental illness and people living with those who suffer from schizophrenia
    2. Helping the wider population to understand what schizophrenia is like to manage and live with.
    To do this most effectively it is invaluable to look at the illness from all aspects (bad and good).
    PS This video was so very informative.

  • @Janey2078
    @Janey2078 8 месяцев назад +12

    You are my new hero! I can’t thank you enough for being so raw in this interview. My son suffered with schizoaffective for over a decade. We tried every treatment, medications, ect , alternative therapy. He became extremely isolated, paranoid & depressed. He would try a hospital stay due to my begging, then end up staying in his room until discharged. On May 2, 2018,at age 30, he had enough. I miss him terribly everyday, but would not want him or anyone to live through the hell he did everyday. As a Mom, I wonder, what did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I save him?
    Please , keep sharing your ups and downs with the world. People with schizophrenia aren’t lazy, weird , dangerous. You’re an amazing lady with a wonderful, supportive husband ❤️. Sending you much love

    • @breezystl777
      @breezystl777 6 месяцев назад +2

      randomly came across this video, then randomly came across this comment. You did nothing wrong, it sounds like you went above and beyond for your son. You're a great mother. This illness and other severe mental health disorders unfortunately are fatal sometimes. Your son was so blessed to have a mom that cares as much as you do. I struggle with survivor's guilt from an unrelated incident, and I cant imagine how much harder it is for a mother (I'm not a mom myself yet). Please know you did everything you could do though. You sound like a wonderful person to have as a mother. Sometimes our brains can be our own worst enemy, whether it's via mental illness or just everyday issues. I like to think of it as equal to someone losing their battle with cancer; they just lost their battle with their own illness. Blessings 💜

    • @Janey2078
      @Janey2078 6 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you!!

  • @treatmenice1564
    @treatmenice1564 10 месяцев назад +370

    I'm so very proud of Lauren and her family.

    • @joanneverreau2546
      @joanneverreau2546 10 месяцев назад +9

      I’m so happy that you are home with your family💕. Be gentle with yourself , you are such an amazing and strong person….Rob too🙏🏻💙

    • @cartergomez5390
      @cartergomez5390 10 месяцев назад

      Does she hear voices?

    • @LadyAurora10
      @LadyAurora10 7 месяцев назад +1

      Me too!

  • @walle226
    @walle226 10 месяцев назад +73

    You know that you are doing something for humanity here right? Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart!

  • @marsenalyn4564
    @marsenalyn4564 8 месяцев назад +10

    I was diagnosed with schitzoaffective disorder. Had my first episode in 2020. I was completely unaware of what was happening and only after did I feel the terror and trauma of what had happened. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you suddenly realizing what was happening as it was happening. You talk often about not being able to trust yourself and I got teary eyed because that's exactly how I feel especially after slipping into psychosis. It's so so scary when you have to rely on other people to ground you in reality. To know that your own brain is lying and tricking you is terrifying. It puts a new twist on the phrase "You're your worst enemy ". I'm so glad that you have supportive people in your life. That's what has saved me. Not everyone has that. Hoping for the best❤

    • @ccs9769
      @ccs9769 7 месяцев назад

      what a terrible disease!! 👎👎👎 I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

  • @madeofmud7222
    @madeofmud7222 10 месяцев назад +27

    I just got out of the mental hospital 4 days ago and im trying to remember everything that happened. Youve inspired me to talk about what happened, thank you so much for posting this. Im sorry both of you experienced trauma.

  • @grahamokeefe9406
    @grahamokeefe9406 10 месяцев назад +647

    I think it's odd that people criticize you for being "too well". I wouldn't expect you to make videos in a psychotic state. That said, I do think that it's probably valuable for people to see the not-so-neat parts of the experience. Also, I can understand why you might be embarrassed about irrational beliefs, but I think the vast majority of people here understand the nature of the illness and don't take your delusions as a reflection of anything you seriously believe.

    • @isaflechas
      @isaflechas 10 месяцев назад +31

      It’s a real issue. Many people say that to me too. That I look well, that I can express myself coherently despite my mental disorders and it’s difficult. People don’t believe you and dismiss your problems or think you are exaggerating when you say you need help because you don’t look like it. 😢

    • @mel3823
      @mel3823 10 месяцев назад +2

      I agree. Well said! 😊

    • @mel3823
      @mel3823 10 месяцев назад +4

      @isaflechas same. Everyone says oh your so nice and they they see my IED episodes and then I'm embarrassed and ashamed

    • @ursulamacx
      @ursulamacx 10 месяцев назад +12

      Not appearing to be ill is something that I experience. My Dr knows all too well, in my case, the better it looks, the worse it is. I also have a "disaster plan" with ALL the info needed. All phone numbers, step by step stuff. I keep it in an obvious place.It's for me primarily. I cannot rely on myself to look for things when I'm in a cascade. It helps me feel more secure in the event of an emergency. I also have my business current. Advance directives, POA,..all that stuff...in order. Those things reinforce that I am the CEO of my circumstances, no matter what I encounter. X

    • @LaCurlySue562
      @LaCurlySue562 10 месяцев назад +2

      Well said! Agree 💯

  • @leeartlee915
    @leeartlee915 10 месяцев назад +66

    I’ve said this throughout her recent struggles but it bares repeating: I cannot imagine being brave enough to put this on the internet and I know a lot of people are grateful for her showing us these difficult times. I’m just glad she has such a great support system.

  • @danielleonetwo
    @danielleonetwo 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing so much about such a difficult time in your life. Sending you and your family so much love 💜

  • @relaxmore444
    @relaxmore444 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing your story Lauren! and educating people about how it went down and what to expect. I am glad that you have such such good support from your partner Rob! I hope that you are doing better.

  • @Grace1708
    @Grace1708 10 месяцев назад +147

    Lauren and Rob have an incredibly honest and healthy communication style. Obviously this is a difficult conversation to have, especially publicly, but the empathy on Rob's part and the accountability and vulnerability on Lauren's part are really special - for any couple btw. Thank you both for being so transparent.

    • @thehypercasual385
      @thehypercasual385 8 месяцев назад +4

      seems kinda like he is publicly shaming her

    • @BorisNoiseChannel
      @BorisNoiseChannel 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@thehypercasual385 the word "gaslighting" came to mind, when I's watching this. And then there's him, telling her kids _"of course in an age appropriate way"_ that mommy is mentally ill, which, when he tells her that here, seems to totally surprise (and shock) her. Why is: _"mommy is ill and she's staying there so the doctors can make her well again"_ not enough information? If Rob's wife had cancer, would he also ask her to elaborate on how her illness is hurting him?

    • @luchirimoya
      @luchirimoya 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@thehypercasual385totally :/

  • @madcow3417
    @madcow3417 10 месяцев назад +54

    This is a little off-topic, but this is a quote from the movie One Hour Photo. "People take pictures of the happy moments in their lives. Someone looking through our photo album would conclude that we had led a joyous, leisurely existence... free of tragedy. No one ever takes a photograph of something they want to forget."
    That's not the only reason you don't post video of psychotic episodes. It sounds like an intense and very personal event. I wouldn't post a video of me vomiting for hours or curled up in the fetal position on a channel about migraines.

    • @dewilew2137
      @dewilew2137 10 месяцев назад +2

      That’s such a great movie!

    • @madcow3417
      @madcow3417 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@elcapitan24 it might be, but I wouldn't post it. It's like posting naked pictures of yourself, but two steps beyond. It's not just me at my most vulnerable, it's reliving it with each comment, good or bad. The sympathetic comments would be tough to read. Anything about it being staged or not that bad would just feel devastating.

  • @rebecca-72
    @rebecca-72 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you both. I know from experience how real all of this is, and that it often doesn’t end as well as it did for you this time. I’m sure it was painful to talk about but I truly appreciate hearing my own experiences and fears from both of you validated. I’m really happy for you that it worked out as well as it did. It is very sad that voluntary intensive psychiatric care is only possible through the overworked emergency room situation. I hope one day this will change. Thank you and wishing you strength and patience in getting well again.

  • @T.Beattie89
    @T.Beattie89 10 месяцев назад +1

    First time seeing your channel. Thank you so much!!! I’m so proud that you got four years! And you chose to check yourself in!

  • @mzdawn8374
    @mzdawn8374 10 месяцев назад +120

    As someone that experienced a parent with schizophrenia, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate that you are being transparent with your children. My extended family was not forthright with us kids, and I know that that contributed to confusion, feelings of alienation, and (frankly) disrespect/distrust towards adults in general. Thank you.

  • @thedavesiknow4598
    @thedavesiknow4598 10 месяцев назад +55

    It is super upsetting that the POLICE are called in these events. POLICE presence can escalate things unnecessarily. I don't have a solution, but am merely observing that there should be another step in place.
    The way mental events are handled leaves much to be desired.
    Love and healing to you ❤

    • @fuchsfarben
      @fuchsfarben 10 месяцев назад +15

      I get what you say, but in Rob's situation, with a person on the road who is in psychosis and a very possible danger to everyone around her, police is the only option.
      There is no other step for stopping somebody in a car on the road, when you don't even know where they are.

    • @thedavesiknow4598
      @thedavesiknow4598 10 месяцев назад +5

      @@fuchsfarben yes of course I understand the urgency of the operation of heavy dangerous machinery...
      However there are opportunities (I am not picking on these folks' situation, it is just one of many examples) to have people/steps in place PRIOR to police enforcement to help. Maybe trusted people, a point person that is not necessarily family, but a GUIDE of some sort to walk with and through with the person experiencing the episode. Like she said, family can be a paranoia trigger and also adds shame of what you "are putting your family through" which doesn't help.
      Hmmm... a psychosis guide - like a guardian angel....

    • @leahpitman2731
      @leahpitman2731 10 месяцев назад +8

      ⁠@@thedavesiknow4598es, they should have trained intervention people who would be able to say the right words to someone in psychosis who could deescalate the situation. I suppose, there could be too much of a risk and things could escalate quickly. It just seems so unfair. I mean Rob is a safe person, yet while in a state of psychosis she is even afraid of him. She understands and knows this once the episode is over. Since she isn’t at the moment able to think rationally, anyone could become “the enemy”. Just so hard. Having to “endure” the “checkin” process would be sheer torture for someone in psychosis! My heart breaks for her, and yet she is so passionate about using her painful experiences to help others! An amazing person! The pain in her eyes as she relays this episode is so obviously there! She so much wants to be free of this!

    • @louisehogg8472
      @louisehogg8472 10 месяцев назад +2

      Locally they try to call the health service mental health crisis team, rather than general police now. If possible.

    • @louisehogg8472
      @louisehogg8472 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@thedavesiknow4598 that's a good idea and could be part of someone's Wellness Action Plan.
      Here they've tried to improve things, with each police station and A&E department having a mental health professional available 24/7. Also the health service mental health Crisis Team or Direct Brief Intervention Team are usually called.
      And if someone is only intermittently losing reality and not too disjointed in their thinking, it CAN be possible to de-escalate by listening and putting yourself in their shoes. Avoiding clumsy 'threatening' behaviours.

  • @lucysweeney8347
    @lucysweeney8347 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you Lauren and Rob,for your courage,honesty and sharing the struggles from both the hospital front line and the home front line.This is the greatest help to me trying to understand and support people with this devastating illness.Wishing you a better day every day as you work together on your recovery.Great job.

  • @chantal2067
    @chantal2067 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you (and Rob) for sharing the experience. It was nice to hear about how you talk about your struggles with your kids. That transparency and willingness to lean into their curiosity will help them in their lives.

  • @pittsdogm
    @pittsdogm 10 месяцев назад +61

    You'll never realize how many people you have helped, being so open and vulnerable. Thank you so much.

  • @raeperonneau4941
    @raeperonneau4941 10 месяцев назад +45

    It’s a chronic illness and the fact that you knew you were in trouble and took action is huge. It’s awesome to see you at home and healing. …and please don’t worry about giving the wrong impression on camera. I hope everyone understands that these videos are just a snapshot of your life and putting it together for the camera is about a human as one can get. The effort you make to help us understand is truly appreciated.

  • @Momshouseofchaos
    @Momshouseofchaos 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for your transparency throughout this challenging time. It is so helpful to those of us who love and/or care for folks dealing with mental health crises. Wishing you a lifetime of better days ahead!!

  • @wonderwoman5528
    @wonderwoman5528 10 месяцев назад

    Your openness and honesty will help so many people going through the same thing, as well as educating people who may not understand. I’m wishing you the best recovery from this illness

  • @littlemissmisses2981
    @littlemissmisses2981 10 месяцев назад +69

    As someone who has autoimmune disease, I can tell you first hand that being physically sick really effects me mentally. Like, really. I’m here because idk what box I fit in when I’m mentally unwell. I may not have schizoaffective disorder but there’s something, being here with you helps me so much. ❤

    • @queenselene1834
      @queenselene1834 10 месяцев назад

      I feel you

    • @jod8067
      @jod8067 10 месяцев назад

      What auto immune system do you have of you don't mind me asking

    • @Aemys
      @Aemys 10 месяцев назад +7

      It's a grief process. You miss the person you once were, the things you no longer can do. I feel you. I also have an auto-immune disease, as well as bipolar disorder. It can clash in terrible ways.
      But even if you don't have a previous experience with mental illness, chronic illness can play a role on your mental well-being.

    • @joantrader1159
      @joantrader1159 9 месяцев назад +2

      My daughter who lives with me has a very complex autoimmune disease. I know stress on her body from the disease creates emotional stress which again affects her body. It is a terrible cycle
      My heart goes out to you.

    • @joantrader1159
      @joantrader1159 9 месяцев назад +2

      Yes. There is grieving also for the life you thought you would have. My daughter was in her early 20's when her disease really excelerated.

  • @hberri7772
    @hberri7772 10 месяцев назад +213

    Rob is such a great interviewer and thank you for elaborating on certain questions.

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 10 месяцев назад +9

      Rob is an intelligent, educated, enlightened, cool person. For all the people trying to imagine that Rob is the problem. Raspberries

    • @e.s.lavall9219
      @e.s.lavall9219 10 месяцев назад +1

      100%, Rob is exactly the kind of partner someone with chronic mental illness needs. Rob haters WTF???

    • @alienatedd
      @alienatedd 10 месяцев назад +4

      @@jacquelineleitch7050intelligent enough to feed her a self-deprecating picture of who she is while he controls her every move like an abusive parent instead of partner

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@alienatedd Do you want me to argue with you or are you just correct?

    • @calibrial
      @calibrial 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@alienatedd you sound like you may be projecting. Have you recently started watching this channel?

  • @f.miller801
    @f.miller801 10 месяцев назад

    Much love to you Rob. Nedless to say but always take care of this amazing human being you have on your side. Hope it get easier to you guys!

  • @shelleygrambower3687
    @shelleygrambower3687 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you so very much for being so honest and raw!
    The lives you will have a positive impact on and likely save are numerous and you should be very proud of that.
    You said a phrase being I like to pretend I done have my disorder and that I can live my life like I done - this resonated so very much for me. I have complex post traumatic stress disorder and like you I prefer to live my life in denial that this should/could impact my ability to do what it appears everyone else can do. Thank you for helping me see where I am not serving myself! Xo

  • @revali2187
    @revali2187 10 месяцев назад +60

    Rob, I hope you’re doing ok. I know what it’s like to deal with anxiety and depression and still feel responsible for someone else who deals with mental illness and I wish you nothing but strength.

  • @Andi-tx1rl
    @Andi-tx1rl 10 месяцев назад +33

    You are not a fraud for putting on makeup & an outfit. Ppl don't put the hard things on the internet. You are incredibly brave. And if makeup helps you feel more comfortable to get on camera... that's absolutely OK. And yes, psych hospitalizations are horrific. I'm so happy you're home & feeling a bit better. ❤

  • @user-ez9sw2hf3u
    @user-ez9sw2hf3u 10 месяцев назад

    Thanks a lot Lauren for sharing. It's precious and allows me to better understand my son who has the same diagnosis. A big shout to Rob for his support and understanding. I send you both positives vibes in this difficult period.

  • @JannockDiors
    @JannockDiors 10 месяцев назад +1

    I love seeing your channel grow!!! Also, the insight into your experiences are so helpful and I really appreciate them and you!

  • @miminzb
    @miminzb 10 месяцев назад +154

    It makes me cry to see you beating yourself up about how you treated Rob while experiencing psychosis. It is not your fault. You cannot control your thoughts and actions in this situation. You should be very proud of yourself that you went to the hospital voluntarily.

    • @SamiVortex
      @SamiVortex 10 месяцев назад +35

      It's important that those of us who are mentally ill in this capacity to take responsibility when we mistreat those we care about. It's one, validating to your partner so that they don't feel as though they CAUSED the psychosis or did something to trigger it. But two, it helps us to acknowledge our actions when these things are getting bad. To identify the pattern. We cannot use our mental illness as a plain excuse or we will never really improve. So yes, I believe people should be understanding, BUT it's counterproductive to just pretend that the emotional/mental abuse didn't occur and brush it off. It also just let's them know we care and that we aren't proud of those actions and would do anything not to repeat them such as going inpatient. No one who is truly mentally ill likes to go to the hospital, they do it to be Progressive. Just a small take from a Bipolar Type 2 😊

    • @meretriciousinsolent
      @meretriciousinsolent 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@SamiVortexI think it's important to recognise the symptoms but not carry shame and guilt, since it's not possible for the person experiencing mental disturbance to choose not to do it. I think she wouldn't tell another person they are responsible or should feel guilt and shame, which is a good way to ascertain whether it's a useful or healthy response. Acknowledgement and recognition, absolutely. Adding to a palate of stress and stigma, nope.

    • @SamiVortex
      @SamiVortex 8 месяцев назад +2

      @meretriciousinsolent I mean I get what you're saying but if you allow yourself to mentally abuse those around your and never take accountability and apologize or feel bad for it, quite literally that's sociopathic behavior. Idk about you, but even being extremely mentally ill I feel bad when I treat people bad. It's the last thing I want. And that's a HUMAN emotion. Just saying "Yeah I mean you don't have to feel bad that you did that because you're mentally ill" is not helpful in the process of helping the people you love to overcome those symptoms. You're just giving them a scapegoat for the next time they treat someone bad, and they have gotten used to "oh honey it's because you're mentally ill" that will be the excuse every time. They won't feel the need to work on it in therapy because that's what they are being told by others. Then when those behaviors become to much and those people leave to shelter their own mental health, they are going to be confused as to what they did wrong. They have always been told by that person that the behaviors presented were justified by their condition. So it will lead to distrust, and shame. I'm afraid that by me telling my ex that it was okay for him to treat me and other people the way he did when he was feeling how he was, because he was undiagnosed and didn't understand what was going on, that led him to the idea that he'd never have to face a single consequence for any of his actions. Now I have a Protective Order against him and have to face him in court for the charges filed against him. Because when I finally told him "You know what, you can't just treat people the way you do without doing any work on your end to try to prevent it." Because anyone diagnosed Bipolar knows, we can prevent with certain therapeutic methods and working directly with an outpatient psych that we can learn how to control our behaviors. Its a little tougher with people with Schizophrenia or Schizoaffective disorder, but still can be controlled a little closer with the right treatments and such. I work in mental health, I'm in school to become a psych nurse. ANY licensed psychiatrist or therapist will tell you that anyone who wants to do better, can. There are many educational types of programs other there for all sorts of mental illnesses. Telling people about these isn't adding to the stigma, it's giving them resources to live a better life more in control of the things that are holding them back. You wouldn't ask someone with cancer not to take radiation because it would stigmatize cancer. So don't ask a mentally ill person not to seek the therapies that are designed to help them grow and achieve. No it doesn't make it go away, but it shows them a better way.

    • @stkate1093
      @stkate1093 8 месяцев назад +5

      @@SamiVortex as the wife of a man suffering with psychotic mental health challenges, your saying this is extremely comforting for me to hear. as your loved ones, we take the brunt of it when we know you are not being your true selves. it truly helps us when you're able to acknowledge the hurt we may feel in the process.

    • @SamiVortex
      @SamiVortex 8 месяцев назад +1

      @stkate1093 that's exactly why I say it too! It's already hard for us to hold stable relationships. If you find the person willing to stick around and you justify abusive behaviors with "Well I'm mentally ill, so you have to deal with it." Instead of "I'm so sorry, you're loved, appreciated, and what I did to you while in that state of mind wasn't okay. Thank you for not giving up on me." Then you're just pushing them away too. It's not harmful to realize when your behaviors are harmful. I stick by that 100%

  • @CarolAnneAmos
    @CarolAnneAmos 10 месяцев назад +17

    "It's complicated and messy." My adult daughter with sza had a similar experience in our local ER. Unfortunately, her dad and I were out of town when she had her psychotic break. After the dust settled, I contacted the hospital about her treatment in the ER. They were defensive, but as I suggested to them, please take my suggestions to help the next psychotic patient that enters your ER. There is a vast difference between care for emergency physical care and emergency mental health care.

  • @nicklowe4392
    @nicklowe4392 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for taking the time to do this video. I am truly sorry for your experience and I am saddened to here you have experienced this more than once. Perhaps I should not say this but your husband seems like a beautiful person who truly cares about you. Powerful as well is the fact that you shared this with your children as this does happen to people and they need to understand the reasons for your situation. Your love for them is obvious and the conversation with them will hopefully help them understand why you are experiencing the things that effect you. I watched this video in hopes of understanding an experience I had recently which does not seem fully similar to your experience but can appreciate your perceptions of the facilities as well as being held against your will. That to me lead me to deteriorate faster. I was in a large holding facility and started to withdraw from people because they kept extending my stay and I began to loose hope I would ever return home. The violence that would kick off around me was also un-nerving at the same time. The medications (repiradona) also took its toll on me and actually sneaked up on me and left me like a zombie with many physical side effects which took me over a year to to deal with after I slowly reduced my intake and stopped the medication all together. I still struggle at times to understand what happened to me but I am slowly returning to normal. This video although at times painful for you to discuss will definetly benefit others as most people tend to treat people with these types of challenges with little respect. It sound like you have had some really good support not only from you family but also from the health care workers that helped you.
    Thank you again for taking the time to do this video and I pray for you that you recovery fully and lead a less challenging life so you can enjoy your beautiful family. God Bless and God´s speed in your recovery and again thank you.

  • @Sunshinesinthesky
    @Sunshinesinthesky 10 месяцев назад

    Lauren and Rob are so brave and vulnerable. I’m mind blown and so touched to know such amazing souls are out there willing to share their challenges in order to promote and normalise mental health conversations. ❤ THANK YOU!

  • @Brandyelyse
    @Brandyelyse 10 месяцев назад +40

    I am a RN and I have bipolar with psychotic features. I worked in psych nursing for a few years. I think you articulated your experience the best that I've ever heard. Thank you for sharing. It really resonated with me when you said you like to pretend you don't have a mental illness. I feel that way too because I am so high functioning but then I remind myself that I would not be so high functioning if I didn't do all the things meds, supplements, therapy, self care. Also I remind myself that I can do all those things and still get sick. I'm praying for you to recover well. Thank you for showing the hospital as well. I can't believe they allowed that but that was great.

  • @DreamsOfCepheid
    @DreamsOfCepheid 10 месяцев назад +17

    I have an intense need to wander or escape when I'm psychotic. Last time I quit my job and tried to take my car to run away to another state. You are not alone! I also had to do a day in the ER hallway while they tried to find me a bed last year. The nurse would ask if I was OK and the social worker brought me food but other than that I was left naked with no phone or anything to distract myself while I waited over 10 hours. It was hell. When the ambulance finally came to take me to a ward, the lady asked the nurse if I was a problem right in front of me. The trauma is real and horrifying! Hugs!

    • @libbyhyett6625
      @libbyhyett6625 10 месяцев назад +4

      Been there done that. Reading your words shocked me then I realised I've been there too. Why is a relapse in mental illness not treated better? It's not a first episode. Bad system.

  • @marry632
    @marry632 10 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you, thank you so much. For being vulnerable and sharing about time where you hurt rob and about times where you struggle. Thank you.

  • @missybrewer423
    @missybrewer423 10 месяцев назад

    I love this channel. You are an inspiration. I work with mental illness everyday so thank you so so much for being open enough to do this! It really is so helpful! Truly! May you continue doing "well" in your journey.

  • @myrnaedmisten599
    @myrnaedmisten599 10 месяцев назад +47

    You are helping de stigmatize mental health/mental illness. Thanks to you and Rob. ❤

    • @cdrshean
      @cdrshean 10 месяцев назад

      When I listen to you and Rob, I understand my 35 yo sons experiences with his schizoaffective disorder so much more clearly. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart💕

  • @dewilew2137
    @dewilew2137 10 месяцев назад +292

    I don’t understand the people who have those criticisms, and quite frankly, I don’t like it. It feels like they want a spectacle to gawk at. You are not obligated to share anything that you don’t want to share. It isn’t unreasonable to not make content when you’re unwell. No one is thinking about making content in the middle of a psychotic episode. It’s absurd to even suggest that you should. Anyone saying this stuff fundamentally does not understand mental illness. How selfish and rude of them.

    • @Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears
      @Whateverhasbeenmynameforyears 10 месяцев назад +13

      I totally agree. I do understand that those who do not have it in their life and are helped by seeing it would want more exposure. Sometimes things are not understood until you see the worst. That being said, it should not be demanded or expected or made to feel like a spectacle. It is also sometimes cathartic to others who struggle to see it with someone else and sometimes can provide insight into something you were unaware of in yourself or someone who you love who has similar struggles. Again with respect and free will and not demanded. But there are also those who have a more malice view sadly. Who want to feel superior but this would be my understanding of those who have better intentions.

    • @pauloperes9378
      @pauloperes9378 10 месяцев назад +4

      My thoughts exactly

    • @Laura-tv2dx
      @Laura-tv2dx 10 месяцев назад +7

      Some people with schizophrenia don't really see themselves in her. Think about what the main problem with schizophrenia is- loss of cognitive function. Yet here is a woman who has a degree and a family and a job. 90% of schizophrenics are unemployed. It's the disability with the highest unemployment rate.

    • @dangerbirb4981
      @dangerbirb4981 10 месяцев назад +4

      On RUclips and other places on the internet there's this push to make disability palatable for mass consumption. I don't think it's on purpose in a lot of cases or it is a coping strategy for others but when you show up perfectly coifed with a clean house, supportive family, and are presenting as very functional it feels disingenuous to the vast majority whose lives are not like that. When I was in peer support groups the vast majority did not have half of those things. Lots of people had been living in half way houses, on tiny disability checks, unable to work, coping poorly on meds that didn't work for them prescribed by doctors who weren't very interested in helping beyond the bare minimum. Lots of people were estranged from their families or stuck in toxic relationships. There was a lack of education and lack of resources. People struggled so hard to survive. Some people had even been arrested for being symptomatic in public. It's much harder to be a schizophrenic black man, for example. I think Lauren is extremely lucky to be where she is. I don't say that to put her down but to point out that the reality is much starker for many people so I can see why they resent this presentation.

    • @ksthoughtpalace3042
      @ksthoughtpalace3042 10 месяцев назад +2

      Because people don't understand schizophrenia they Want to see what the 'bad' part is, or what goes on in someone's head during psychosis. They want to know the whole story so they can understand fully. // Not sharing that kind of info makes this a channel more of a support for people and families already dealing with schizophrenia, than for people who are trying to learn more about it.

  • @andreastack1044
    @andreastack1044 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing your human experience with us. You have shared so much and it has really helped me understand this condition. The fact that you are opening up and sharing your experiences is so incredibly important. You are helping to get rid of the stigma that accompanies mental illnesses, especially those that have psychosis as a symptom. Being diagnosed with a lifelong mental illness can be so terrifying. By sharing your experiences you are helping demystify Schizophrenia which will take some of the fear away from people newly diagnosed or people who are supporting someone with the illness. I have always been very open with my own mental health struggles throughout the years, and so many people who felt like their own mental illness should be hidden, were able to open up and then feel comfortable. When we open up we show others that they are not alone. That is so very powerful. Wishing you a quick but gentle return to good health so that you can get back to feeling more like yourself.

  • @deliabusuioc6034
    @deliabusuioc6034 10 месяцев назад

    I am both moved to tears and fascinated. Much love to you and Rob:*

  • @katiefromcolorado4972
    @katiefromcolorado4972 10 месяцев назад +28

    You are not wrong about the extreme mental stress that come with menstruation and sinus pressure (colds). These things on top of life stress will ALWAYS put my mental health in the dumpster.

  • @janiegetyourgun
    @janiegetyourgun 10 месяцев назад +10

    My family is not convinced I have schizophrenia (despite diagnosis) because I do not fit their idea of what a schizophrenic looks/acts like. I get good grades in uni so I must be fine. They don’t see my daily struggles to be/appear normal. I work, I go to school, but I literally forego proper hygiene and other things in order to make space for work and studying because I cannot handle work, school, cooking every meal, showering and grooming every day, maintaining a social life, cleaning my house. I’d be in psychosis 24/7. So in order to finish school and earn my degree while working, that’s where I put my efforts. I shower maybe once a week, I wash my hair every two weeks and only brush it after I wash it, I shave even less, I trim my nails once a month, I have no friends because I have no time to hang out or call people all the time, i don’t exercise, I try to cook most nights but my husband cleans and does the dishes to help me. I work 9 hours a day, come home, cook, and study. That’s my routine. Adding anything to that compounds my stress and overwhelms me to the point where I start slipping into psychosis. I cannot wait to graduate next year and take school off my plate.

  • @vindelanda
    @vindelanda 9 месяцев назад +4

    Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable with your illness and with your recent hospitalization. I learned a lot from this video and from your other videos, and they help me to be more compassionate.

  • @user-yp4li4lf1z
    @user-yp4li4lf1z 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing your experiences through your channel... I've been fighting with schizophrenia for a while now... This really helped real me in from my own personal psychosis and delusions at a time where I desperately needed it. I'm know it wasn't easy. Very brave and strong of you.

  • @hsbswjwsb
    @hsbswjwsb 10 месяцев назад +51

    we all love you lauren, never forget that

  • @michelles9897
    @michelles9897 10 месяцев назад +39

    💟 Lauren & Rob you are two wonderful humans. Thanks for all that you do.

  • @pbate8094
    @pbate8094 10 месяцев назад

    You are such a blessing and thank you for all you share ❤

  • @im19ice3
    @im19ice3 8 месяцев назад

    i'm glad you're doing better, thank you for sharing, your channel always helps me recharge my self-compassion battery and fills me up with more patience and solidarity with all the people in my life, both those who struggle with mental illness like me and those who support us along it.

  • @maricormier121
    @maricormier121 10 месяцев назад +8

    I am a retired social worker/mental health thetapist. After watching any of your viedo I have the utmost respect and admirat

    • @maricormier121
      @maricormier121 10 месяцев назад

      Starting over from previous comment. As a retired social worker/mental health worker I havevthe utmost respect admiration for you, and all of the numerous viedos you put out. If only I knew you and your struggles 30 years ago I could have been a greater help to my clients!!! You put a face on mental health diagnosis specifically psychosis. Please, please consider sharing your experiences with individuals who are training as MD's or anyone considering working in medical and/ or mental health. Your sharing can't compare to book learning!!!!! Consider contacting medical schools near where uou live, or even far away...you are a GEM!!! And whatvthe hell....sitting in the er for 5 hours with no medication????? That wouldn't happen if you were diabetic! Speaking of diabetes if you were to look at your psychosis as diabetes maybe you can take some comfort. Soneone with diabtets does all the right things... eating a good diet, exercise, taking medications, and keeping a healthy weight, but yet their blood sugar rises or lowers at a dangerous level...they need to see the doc or be hospitalized to adjust their medications. It's the same with you. You do everything in yiur power to function to enjiy life and stay out of the hospital, but as with diabetes yiu needed an adjustment in yiur medications. And while I'm at it, who in the heck is bothered by your appearance??? You look to good, have make up on or perhaps you should look more disheveled....please, pkease you don't need to apologize to anyone. You my dear are my hero. Love to you, Rob and your kids. The world needs to hear more from you!!!

  • @veronicai6278
    @veronicai6278 10 месяцев назад +29

    Don't apologize for wanting to be 'put together.' People will literally criticize people for anything and everything no matter what you do. Public figures can't win (I'm speaking from experience!!).

  • @healingfear
    @healingfear 10 месяцев назад +2

    It's very generous of you to share these experiences with us. Thank you, Lauren.

  • @user-ob2md2us5o
    @user-ob2md2us5o 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you for sharing ❤ you help a lot families that are going thru this situation

  • @bluejedi723
    @bluejedi723 10 месяцев назад +19

    Think of each hospitalization as a learning experience. And you move forward. It's not a personal failure.

  • @user-hu9bh8ww1y
    @user-hu9bh8ww1y 10 месяцев назад +42

    People with cancer have to go to hospital. People who have strokes have to go to hospital . Etc....people with mental illness may have to go to hospital. Best wishes to you both and kids...

    • @mhtxi9486
      @mhtxi9486 10 месяцев назад +2

      When someone is sick of cancer or fever it is ok they always go back and forth to hospital but if it is illness of psychosis etc. the society will always looks at it with a different outlook. Why cant they be like any other illness? Maybe because we do not accept it as illness of any kind. I hope one day the society will accept it as normal illness we send them to hospital like any other illness is sent to hospital and no more expectations

  • @MonsieurCanuck
    @MonsieurCanuck 10 месяцев назад +2

    Wow, amazing video. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open and honest. My whole family watched from beginning to end, and your candor allowed us to have some really good discussion. We have a family member with mental illness, and this video made it a lot less scary. Also, so glad you're on the road to recovery - lots of love going your way!

  • @dandeliondreamer3365
    @dandeliondreamer3365 10 месяцев назад +2

    Lauren and Rob I am so sorry you have to go through these difficult experiences. I can hear the pain in your voices. Your insight and ability to share your experience with the rest of us is such a blessing, sending love and hugs, wishing you and your littles the best ❤ 😊

  • @wee0007
    @wee0007 10 месяцев назад +9

    It’s so important to remember that growth and healing isn’t linear. We fall down, we drag ass, we get up and struggle in silence. but we are still working towards wellness. Your commitment to your own healing should be celebrated ❤

  • @noeraldinkabam
    @noeraldinkabam 10 месяцев назад +25

    Lauren, be nice to yourself. You are doing very well and getting sicker does not reflect bad on any part of you. I know you’re scared. Guilt is good for nothing when you didn’t choose to do anything.

  • @chloeslater7231
    @chloeslater7231 10 месяцев назад +1

    a different set of diagnosis but can always relate to your channel so much. The feelings in that acute period, the fluctuating insight, the paranoia, the combativeness, the interpersonal chaos, the terror, so many thing. I'm so grateful for your channel, I find it so helpful and also reduces the level of shame I have around 20 years of severe mental illness and hospitalisations. Thank you.

  • @Jennifer_150
    @Jennifer_150 10 месяцев назад +27

    Lauren, you’re the hero, advocate and pioneer we need (no pressure! 😅), to blow the lid off the *utterly medieval* treatment of mental illness and the current, *terrible* experience of hospitalization.
    Thank you SO much for sharing your experience and making us all feel a little less alone. ❤🙏🌈
    Change must come. It must! When you’re feeling better, your next series could focus on what we can do as a community to educate, fund-raise, advance research, and improve support for mental illness.
    Truly, you’re a gift! 🌈🩷
    Looking forward to your autobiography one day! 😉

    • @donaldcarpenter5328
      @donaldcarpenter5328 8 месяцев назад +1

      When even her own DOCTOR'S knee jerk response for a request for help is to CALL the POLICE and have her HANDCUFFED and transported to a Psych ward only to end up in jail!!!!!!!!!!

  • @RebeccaLizEve
    @RebeccaLizEve 10 месяцев назад +12

    I wonder if you guys can see how many viewers watched the completion of this video. I estimate 100% of us saw it through, so please don’t apologize for a longer video than usual!
    Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest, and this journey has helped everyone watching understand mental health better than they did before your first video when you were hospitalized.

  • @131pinkbird
    @131pinkbird 10 месяцев назад +64

    My ER experience was so terrible, they kicked me out after they admitted me and went looking for me. It felt abusive .

    • @jacquelineleitch7050
      @jacquelineleitch7050 10 месяцев назад +12

      And it was. Bullying is a full on skill taught social workers and nurses dealing with mental illness. Psychs who graduated at the lowest half of the class who are the ones you get in psych wards just use overdosing to bully you with.

    • @AngelaVEdwards
      @AngelaVEdwards 10 месяцев назад +6

      Mine wasn't so great, either. My husband is not able to have his truck right now and he doesn't fit well in the car with his prosthetic leg. So when they wanted to admit me, I had to drive him home. That means I left "against medical advice" and had to come right back and wait in line again. It was pretty awful. They also didn't want to pay my hospital bill at first either but that got figured out pretty easily.

    • @JesusSaves77799
      @JesusSaves77799 10 месяцев назад +6

      I’m so sorry. There definitely has to be better systems put in place to prevent those in “power” from abusing those who are vulnerable and in need - in any situation. God bless you and protect you and anyone else in these situations in Jesus’s Holy Name. I am committed to making more loving environments for people in need! 🙏💖

    • @JulieLorraine1
      @JulieLorraine1 10 месяцев назад +3

      This has to stop. Blasting medical professionals is counterproductive. We are there to help ppl. All pts! We do not discriminate. You are privileged to have a safe place to go to. What would you have us do when you are in psychosis ? We are stretched to the limits as is with beds etc. Have more respect for medical staff!

    • @KatieM786
      @KatieM786 10 месяцев назад +8

      ​@@JulieLorraine1How are things going to improve if people don't point these things out?

  • @robinprice6879
    @robinprice6879 10 месяцев назад

    Wow, I’m just so impressed with your honesty and your willingness to put yourself out there. I am close with 3 individuals with your same diagnosis and this is really helpful. Thank you so much

  • @ronmoore6598
    @ronmoore6598 6 месяцев назад

    Again, Thank You have having the courage to make these videos! I wish someone I know who has mental illness was as aware as you are. Listening to your experiences gives me knowledge on how to help them! Thank you SO MUCH!

  • @atura5502
    @atura5502 10 месяцев назад +58

    The doc‘s told me every time I go off meds and get psychotic again I risk that the illness advances and that the previous does of medication won‘t work any more.

    • @JesusSavesFromDeathandHell
      @JesusSavesFromDeathandHell 10 месяцев назад

      That's a lie. It's to cause you to fear.

    • @WhoAmI2YouNow
      @WhoAmI2YouNow 10 месяцев назад +4

      Oh wow that's scary

    • @rect7840
      @rect7840 10 месяцев назад +9

      It's true, there can be residual symptoms after the episode and they can increase.
      I've worked with 40+ year old patients who have gone without treatment for 20+ years and have a lot of difficulties even with meds now.

    • @lavintella
      @lavintella 10 месяцев назад +6

      I think that your doctor is right, my father went off his medication for several months and now, even back on his medication, he has more psychotic and mixed manic episodes than before, he has become resistant to his medication to an extent unfortunately.

    • @atura5502
      @atura5502 10 месяцев назад +6

      I gues I got lucky, was unmedicated/undiagnosed for 12 years. I‘m doing quite well on meds since 3 months ^_^

  • @milikoshki
    @milikoshki 10 месяцев назад +9

    I had a rough and too long hospital experience after being hit by a car. The stress, trauma from the injury, lack of sleep, zero privacy, being checked on every hour through the night, and on and on... I know it is not the same, but still, I really cannot imagine experiencing something similar while also having a fuzzy reality. I'm so impressed with your ability to talk through such a fresh and difficult experience. Wishing you good health ❤️

  • @davidbenhoff9854
    @davidbenhoff9854 7 месяцев назад +19

    I stumbled upon your posting by accident, and was glued to every second. You are one brave, and inspirational woman. I served over two decades in the US Marines, and knew lots of brave men and women...and your bravery is right up there. Your genuineness is so apparent, and you're obviously a wonderful human being. Love your sense of humor about such difficult experiences.
    Rob, you're a gem, my friend. I wish you both so very much good in your future. If you ever get down to Florida, look us up. Seriously. Will take yall swimming with the manatees!

  • @michelleford7392
    @michelleford7392 10 месяцев назад

    You’re the best-the real deal! Your honesty and humility are so helpful and appreciated! Please know that you are cared for and awesome!!❤❤️

  • @kimwells7245
    @kimwells7245 10 месяцев назад +9

    I don't know if Rob will see this but I think everyone wishes they had a Rob !

  • @Strange_Nothings
    @Strange_Nothings 10 месяцев назад +11

    I was hospitalized 5 times in five years. And now, it's been a year and a half no hospital so far. It's just a path, and the hospital is there to catch you if you need it.

  • @cfunvid
    @cfunvid 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you for being brave and taking a huge risk to yourself in sharing your experience.

  • @paulrayner1274
    @paulrayner1274 10 месяцев назад

    Thanks for sharing your story and experiences. Your reach extends to New Zealand and you make a difference to the many others struggling with their own challenges with psychosis, like my son. So thank you. Take care

  • @soul7530
    @soul7530 10 месяцев назад +19

    It makes me feel out of control to think we can stay on our meds yet still there’s a possibility of a psychotic episode and need to go back into hospital.

  • @katestewart6274
    @katestewart6274 10 месяцев назад +8

    Thank you so much for being so vulnerable with us!

  • @waynebeamer
    @waynebeamer 10 месяцев назад

    It is so amazing to me that you have the emotional and mental strength to share these hard truths about yourself in public to help others. I wish I was as brave as you are, Young Lady. Thanks for teaching me and so many of us. Got your back. Much love to you, Rob and your kids ❤️

  • @Auritilien
    @Auritilien 10 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for making these videos and being vulnerable with us. Taking accountability for the hurt your actions did while you were in an altered state of mind is something not everyone can do, even when it isn't done in an altered state. You two are wonderful human beings

  • @Shelly9401
    @Shelly9401 10 месяцев назад +3

    I’m very proud of you for getting help & sharing your story so others don’t feel so alone & to help people understand more about mental illness. God Bless you & your family.

  • @MandaPanda254
    @MandaPanda254 10 месяцев назад +3

    So proud of you, and Rob, for sharing this experience

  • @carolynbell70
    @carolynbell70 10 месяцев назад

    Thank you so much for sharing these videos. This vid helped me immensely. I also have schizoaffective disorder and was recently hospitalized. Thank you for help normalizing those experiences and giving me courage to talk about it more even with just my support system. It is hard to talk about and I seem to keep it all in sometimes. But now I feel less alone and with more courage and hope. Thank you!