what no one tells you about being a DIVORCED MOM.
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- Опубликовано: 21 июн 2024
- Come along with me as I go about my single divorced mom day when I don't have my kids. I'll tell you all the details about what no one tells you about being a divorced mom and just share my thoughts on life in the last 8 months since being separated. Affiliate links to commonly asked about items below:
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📬 Mai Zimmy
PO Box 3340
Mckinney, Texas 75070
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You are more than your relationship status. You are also more than just a mom. You’re a person! So “divorced” and “mom” are unnecessary. You’re just you! 🎉
Love that! thank You :)
So well said! 👍👍♥️
Congratulations 🎉 Isn’t it funny how you have so much more free time now that tasks are distributed equally? You were obviously doing way more than your share before. I’m glad you’ve got your time back and hope you find your interests and identity beyond ‘mom’
You can just be a mom. You don't have to include the rest. It's none of their business. Being a mom is hard, rather your single, married, or whatever the circumstances.
Agree.....why label yourself,married mothers don't call themselves married moms....the divorce does not define you.
@Patricia Duvall wonderful point
Including all this is so important because so many of us are going through this.
I got married, had a baby, and got divorced by the time I was 22. It was a domestic violence situation. Now, seven years later I am married to the most incredible man and we have four beautiful children. I’m so eternally grateful that my ex “ruined” my life all those years ago because I wouldn’t have the life I’ve always dreamed of. 🥰
Sooo happy you’re living your fairytale now 💕💕💕
@@MaiZimmy there were SO many dark days, it was incredible hard. But so many people view a divorce as the end all be all when that’s totally not the case. Your just beginning your next era 👑
I think a good response to hearing someone is getting a divorce is “how are you feeling about it?” I think movies or shows make it seem like divorce is only when someone cheats so pity seems like a natural response but that’s not the reality.
Love your channel- you are so well spoken and an inspiration. Love your outlook on life. My situation is a little different but similiar, I started dating my husband when I was 15 and he was 16. (high school sweethearts) We got married when I was 21 and him 22. We have 2 beautiful girls (now grown). He was all that I knew. Our marriage had a lot of ups and downs but we made it. He passed away 12/17/19 at age 48. I have been a widow for over 3 years. I'm now 51. I'm navigating being alone. I work full time and spend time with my girls and grandson.
Sending lots of love and good wishes! :)
Sending lots of love back to you and your family 💕💕💕💕💕💕 stay strong mama, you're doing great 💪
I have a great conversational life hack for this! Whenever a big life situation happens to someone near me (pregnancy, divorce, moving, applying for new jobs) I always say with a cautious smile of my face, “Awesome, and how do we feel about that?” Shows that I’m glad they shared some news with me, asking how they feel, always insinuating I’m cool and will support them and mirror their reaction with any reaction they have (ex. The teens I teach….pregnancy can be great for them or they are not excited about that….you get it).
Totally unrelated, but can you do a makeup tutorial? You always look so fresh and beautiful!
Also CONGRATULATIONS! You’re rockin this divorced mom life.
I believe she has one from a year or so ago! Maybe two years. 😀
If you go to my Instagram I have a quick one in my story highlights that shows the specific products I use :) I may eventually do another on my channel tho.... Maybe in one of my next vlogs. Thanks so much for watch!!! :)
Congrats Single Lady! It's ok to promote divorce....This is from a happily married woman who grew up in a very unhappy family where my parents 'stayed together for the kids' when I was secretly wishing they would separate. Divorce can be the best thing for everyone...A hard step to take but ....I'm glad you're doing so well 😁
Promote, no. Might be necessary yes.
You are an AMAZING mom who prioritize your mental health and your kids. It’s not easy being vulnerable or asking for help.
It’s time for you to think back to all the things you really wanted to do. Pottery, art, workout, courses and remember it’s ok to be boring and still lol maybe throw a divorce party once you get the papers and celebrate your new journey ❤
After my split with my ex, the hardest part for me was knowing what I wanted, what made me happy. took years to learn that.
Glad you are staying busy when the boys are with their Dad. Staying active and busy keeps your mind off the negative. Enjoy your downtime to focus on you! Your hair is beautiful! Also yes most individuals getting a divorce are happy and not upset about it at all!
You are amazing and so appreciated!!! You are such a support to soooooooooo many women who need to hear what you are sharing. Thank you for being and keeping it REAL!!!! Many blessing to YOU and your family...Great Job doing what your doing on these videos. You are a blessing to so many!!!
Definitely for me I became a much better parent when I got divorced because I had time to do it well.
Thank you for this. Freshly separated and there are so many fears. Divorce feels like a death to me, definitely going through a grieving process right now. Your insight is a great perspective.
Wonderful video! You are such an inspiration Mai ❤. We love you and are so happy for you. Also - your light hair is beautiful.
I’m not a mom but I enjoy watching your videos because of how genuine you are! Seeing you find the good in this situation is inspiring 🌷
Pretty important talk here! And your hair looks amazing! You look healthy, kind and soul! Congrats!
All of this was so relatable to me! 💗
Taking your advice and i will make more time for myself. I see how I feel like I'm serving everyone and barely look after me, and how that is affecting me.
I do love your videos and thank you for sharing your experience ❤.
Thank you for being so open about this. I'm about to be in this same situation.
I'm happy for you. You got out of the marriage. I hate that point where you want to leave and can see yourself being happier alone but still stuck. You look happy and healthy. 🎉
Marriage can be amazing snd wonderful. It’s not perfect snd never will be. I waited a long time cuz I ever met the right person. I got married at 37. I jus Thad my daughter last year. I waited so long to be a wife and mother. That’s all I wanted and I think that’s ok. Everyone has a different story. I hope you know under the right circumstances snd informed decisions going forward- marriage is awesome. I pray this over your life. You may not want it now but someday maybe. I have been following you since I got pregnant. I just adore you.
I used to think after my divorce why can't there be divorce parties like they have Bachelorette parties? I'm all for marriage if its to the right person, someone who truly loves,, honors and cherishes their spouse and it going both ways,, but some of us when we learn that the relationship has turned controlling and or loveless the person should be proud of themselves for getting out of that situation. And yes realize that's not the role model relationship you want for your kids, everyone deserves to be happy.
I knew a lady who hated her job so much, for years, that when she got fired she called everyone up, starting with her husband and announced she was throwing herself a happy firing party.
That really made me question why our society doesn't like to celebrate changes we're conditioned to think are sad or bad - even though MANY people hate their marriage or job, or that toxic family member they want to cut out.
I’m glad you made this video! Thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it! :)
Love that your friend said congratulations,I too had one person say congratulations. I knew she seen and heard me ❤ I am in a better place now. Keep doing what your doing 💜💜 Your amazing x
👍 Great video Mai. Thank you . I d been following for a long time. Genuine and honest is best goes with all in life, also at it's hardest.. love when you say about hardships and challenges .. Loads of Love from Malaga ,Spain. 😘😘😘
YES. YES. YES. To ALL of it.
My divorce was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, but also one of the best. I'm so happy for you! You can truly THRIVE after a divorce!
This came at the right time. I’m not married but me and my bf live together and we just broke up. It’s so hard. I just went out today and applied for an apartment but I am thankfully financially independent. I’m just blaming myself and feeling like I made a huge mistake but everyone around me says I made the right decision cause I wasn’t happy.
Based on this summary, the people around you are correct
Definitely listen to your friends and family! Proud of you for being strong enough to leave 💪🏻💪🏻
The randos coming out of woodworks happened to a friend of mine😂 so many long time male friends were being so sleazy right after her divorce. She is no longer friends with any of them!
😬😬😬
Another is joint friends don’t know who’s side to be on, so they drift away from you. Exes side sisters didn’t know how to treat me especially as he did the cheating and I chose to walk away. I told them I angry with him not them. They can still call and visit or take the kids out when they’re in town and kids are with me they are still their aunties. I let you know “What a year makes” the difference in yourself (mumma bear stronger) I met a wonderful man been together 22 years married 18 of those. Good luck in your journey.
How agonizing to have that drag out for so long. 😵💫 Like the dang wound can’t heal when it’s left open for almost a year! 😑 I think once the divorce is finalized, you’ll find a routine and get used to the free time/breaks. I say this not knowing at all what it’s like, but it sounds about right. 😄🤷🏻♀️ Mmm the fancy grilled cheese looks heavenly. My mom was a single mom before meeting my dad, and it definitely was hard financially. But there is definitely life after divorce, and she didn’t regret it one bit. It made her stronger, built character, and she didn’t settle anymore; she knew exactly what she wanted (and got it). You are doing so great, Mai. You’re radiant, and I love how confident you are. Keep shining, boo! 😘
Thank you for being yourself being so genuine you look super super beautiful the most you’ve ever looked thanks for all your amazing advice I have two Irish twins boy and girl 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 and I’m also a single mom I don’t get any child support and please bring more of these amazing videos I wish you lived closer so we can go have a single moms lunch love you
Wow such a beautiful honest video! You are so amazing I love all the words In this video so inspiring and creative love your videos 😊
You seem so much happier though I know it's a tough process. I have the feeling you're gonna meet the love of your life....
putting it out in the universe!!! thank you :)
I can barely concentrate cuz GIRL YOUR HAIR LOOKS AMAZING! Perfection
I just want to touch up on something from 11:45 just because a certain family member or friend wasn't there for you during hard times doesn't mean they're not good people. we are going through something, and sometimes its hard to support others when you yourself need support too.
You are Truly a beautiful single divorced mom. And a fantastic mother. And a wonderful beautiful fantastic lady who any man would be honored to be with and support you every way possible.
You’re so strong 💪 ❤
OMG, your words resonate with me soooo much! I'm nearly 5 yrs into my divorce (finances!) & am so much less lonely & happier single! 🇬🇧
Holy crap balls we’re living the same life!!! Lost my identity in my 18 year marriage to my high school sweetheart so I have no idea what to do with the time the kids are with their dad. Unfortunately, I don’t have any friends or much support so it’s kind of lonely, BUT the silver lining is I have more “me time” than what I ever had being married.
P.S. Kind of low key waiting to see if I get any blasts from my past 😝
I just found you a couple days ago and I been binge watching you 1st off there’s no way your 33 you look like your in your 20s and your so beautiful and congratulations
Love your jewelry at the start of the video!
Thank you! 😊
New subscriber definitely needed this video very insightful hang in there you're doing a good job
Yay podcast!!!
You got this👍 because your a strong woman
You're amazing! Being a mom to twin boys and then to another baby boy 2 years later is so freaking hard- i have experienced this now. And on top of that worrying about everyone's needs and health and home and cleaning its just so overwhelming.
Ps. Could you make a video about having twin boys and how to keep them from fighting for attention. I'm at the stage where I feel like I'm a policewoman trying to stop major fights constantly, meanwhile taking care of thier little brother. How did you do it? with 3 under 2.
Xx
I am so much happier on the other side of divorce as well. Thank you for creating this content! ❤
Thank you for this video!
Hi Mai good morning happy Friday morning and I hope you having amazing day today and I loved your vlogs and you are amazing Supporter and I'm proud of you
As a woman who has been single most of my adult life, I am loving listening to you being a rookie single woman lol Its super cute to watch. Enjoy life ❤
Mai Zimmy please don't call yourself a divorce mom you are more than that. You are just a mom that did sooooooooooooo.......much with twins a extra baby and a husband girllllll.....how did u not fall apart I have twins a house a husband and a full time student. It's true we forget about ourselves now u have the great opportunity to have a more joyful life❤ enjoy being divorced is just another chapter in your life. I love your videos keep up the good wrk. Specially your declutter 😅
thanks for the video babe. you're great
I know the struggles that u faced for having this sparkle ❤...love u ...i can understand ,me too a divorced mom
I clicked into this video because I grew up in the same situation and I was hoping to learn about what my mom went through if there were things she didn’t wanna share with me. And i can testify as a child from a divorced family it was the best situation we have ever made. I am so happy for you and I just want to let any parent out there reading this to know that if you are thinking of or wishing to get out of a bad relationship but you are “staying for your children”. Please don’t. We know what’s going on and we can tell when someone’s not okay. Your children are not gonna grow up thanking you or be happy that they are part of the reason you’re miserable. When you stop letting people hurt you and heal to become the best version of yourself, you will BE the best version of yourself to your children!
great video, really enjoyed it
Yeah I used to be a divorced single mother - I got remarried 5 years later to a kind wonderful man who adopted my son. My ex husband ended up in prison for absuing his 2nd wife and was very absent from my son's life- so step parent adoption was a huge step but my wonderful husband did it. He is the best father to our son I could ever ask for. I hated single parenting with a passion. Absolutely haaaaated it.
Thanks for sharing 🤗
Thanks for watching!
33yrs old? Wow, you will get there where you want go. You're beautiful.
❤happy you're doing well ❤
Love the make up! Give a tutorial please!
well said
You are in a better place! He's a sorry assistant for hurting you ❤❤❤❤❤
I’ve been divorced twice and obviously I survived, so it’s not so terrible. It’s just for the children, we must do the best to make them happy.
My both sons are married now and hopefully they will stay married, I say hopefully because their wives are great.
You should do a hair tutorial. Love the way you style it. ❤ btw I love you videos😊
4:43 yaaaas queen call them out 👀
Good morning!!!
With smallChildren it’s hard I got Divorced when my twins were two if I could go back in time after living what they went through with his choice of women I would have stayed with him and stopped that from happening - grass isn’t always greener ! You will be fine your
Situation is all yours and your children’s father may be fine I hope you can work together for the little ones 😢❤ you seem happy which is wonderful 🎉
I bet your ex ain't bored now ,he has to pull his weight with the kids 😂😂😂 enjoy being able to breathe for a minute girl !
Hey Mai, haven’t seen a video from you in a while. Just checking in to see how things are going hope everything is fine and we can see you soon.
I enjoy the boredom. Lol i dwell but I'm able to relax while I dwell on the horrible divorce I went through. I'm def much happier and love not being in an abusive relationship anymore and healing. My ex hus though doesn't take the kids much but I love the one day a week he does.
Mind if I ask the name of the restaurant you went to? I'm in the TX hillcountry and looking for good spots, 😊.
its in North Texas. Wish I lived in Hill country tho! Its called Patina Green
I am a single mom and have yet to feel bored or more time to focus on myself.
Mom seems to be the go to person in a two parent house.
What would you say to your boys if they want to marry their high school sweetheart one day? Coming from another person who married theirs.
I’ve been married 7 years and it feels like my husband has been sabotaging it the entire time 😂 he’s broken my trust time and again and has made decisions that have lead to thoughts of divorce/ adultery (on my part).
We have 4 kids and I believe I’m his rib etc so I’ve been sticking it out-but I’m going to start prioritizing myself more and doing the things that make me happy.
If you believe that you're his rib, then you must also believe that submission on your part entails him laying down his life for you as Christ did for his Church. In other words, if you're not an actual team who sacrifices for one another, after four kids, it's time to lay down the law so there isn't more imbalance.
@@Emmannie he knows how I feel, obvi- strange of you to assume I don’t express that to him lol but there’s also nothing more I can do about it- it’s up to him to desire to be better, and up to me to leave it in Heavenly Fathers hands.
👏🏼
❤❤❤
In North Carolina you have to be separated for a full year before you can even file.
I’m in NC and I was going to say the same thing
😳 oh HELLLLLLL NO. so not right..
Yup. My bf had that happen. She lived in their house with him paying her bills for a YEAR, while he rented an extra bedroom from a friend with a mattress on the floor. He couldn't afford both their bills and anything else. And when they could legally separate, she got everything moved out of the house without telling him, including everything of his still in the house, which was most it.
It's been almost 10 Years (5 with me) and he's STILL trying to replace the things she stole of his. Tools. Fishing gear. Golf gear. Video games. Army things with his name on them, most of them unreplaceable.
It then took him until 2 years after we got together to get the army to correctly and permanently remove her from their system as his emergency contact and benefit recipient if he died. He is STILL paying off her car, because he was told successfully fighting over the payments would cost more money and time than paying it off would.
I feel like people are faster to recognize when women get the bad end of the deal in Divorce, and it's harder for the men who get the worse deal to get support and even belief that he came out worse off. It's really sad.
They didn't even get married in NC. They got married in Washington and he got shipped out to NC. I was astounded it applied to marriages that were performed somewhere else.
And I've known so many people in tn have to spend 2 years getting divorced and especially if the woman wanted her name back. That part alone ended up consistently taking months and months. Even if the husband wasn't contesting anything.
***USELESS PILE OF MEN***😂
That’s my sons dad. Lol.
I am sooooooo glad I’m teaching my son not to be like that as well. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Going to celebrate our 50th anniversary. This is my second marriage. My first was to my high school sweetheart. I put him through two years of college then he got a scholarship and a divorce! It was a struggle with men coming out of the woodwork. Found out I was strong, raised my child and then found true love. During this 2nd marriage I obtained my college degrees and pursued a successful career! I wouldn’t any part of my journey as it made me ready for my life now! Divorce is not a bad thing.
i am sure i missed something, but you are very lucky to not work anymore. most of my divorced friends work harder outside the home now and have less free time.
Remember when it was cool to be the first one to comment? No.. just me? Okay lol
I think you’re cool 😎 😆😁😄
Girl. My divorce took a year and we had ZERO kids...wth. It sucked!!
It’s not selfish to focus on yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’re no good to anyone else.
In the state on NC you have to live legally separate for a full year before you can even file for divorce….I was trying to get divorced for what felt like two years….lesson learned - it was almost three and a half years once titles and loans were final transferred to single names….never again! Side note joint bank accounts are first come first serve bases so if he is a dick and drains it your SOL regardless if you make more!!! NEVER AGAIN! Be strong lady - it gets so much better!
I'm still waiting. Its been nearly 3 years
The influx of men has NOT happened to me! I’m glad!!
You seem happier honestly. You did one video where your ex got you a cardboard cutout of someone and you looked really annoyed 😂
I’m in a miserable marriage. And I rather be single and than being with him.
I’m not divorced but I relate to this and so many of your videos so much. Thank you sm for posting this. I’m going to forward to people I know can use this advice 🫶🏻tytyty, love you!
Thank you so much for sharing!!! Means so much to me :)
Did you file or did he file for divorce? Who made the decision to end the marriage? Did you have a breaking point that convinced you this marriage was ending?
The peanut app was horrifyingly toxic and judgemental. Outta there fast.
really?!?!?! maybe it depends on the city you're in???
it seems when you get a divorce, all your friends choose up sides and smell armpits. Yes you find out who your true friends are.
This is such a positive video, but I have one question. What about your couple friend?
Friends?
A divorced mom isn’t the same as a single mom or a ‘baby mother’.
I don't think it's the guys coming out of the woodwork to take advantage or prey upon newly single women...I think most women just don't realize how very valuable they are to a guy, and these are guys who appear to suddenly show up who would love to have a companion or partner in life...and you are now available. It's as simple as that.
Lucky you your husband takes the kids. My ex dedicate himself to travel and be with women and not pay rent nor child support. Lol. Let’s count our little blessings.
What happened with your "couple friends"?
I'm still friends with all my couple friends :) I probably wasn't clear but I didn't lose any friends really since being seperated. I just REALLY saw who my truest friends were. My ride or die peeps :)