I’m Muslim and in my community women tend to marry early and really idolize marriage until they face the reality of it. As women, we need to know ourselves better and work on our future before we get with someone. We need to know the guy as well and we need to stop being delusional
Most guys today are not worth marrying. Our society has a serious masculinity issue and women should just vet as hard as possible before even getting in a relationship or married.
@ardordeleon If you are a mature man leaving a serious comment - you should take the juvenile "laughing emoji" off at the end of said statement; then your words would hold to be true...
I'm an atheist but the prayer at the end felt really nice and really spoke to me. It's comforting to think that someone I don't even know would pray for my wellbeing.
Albertson, this touched me so much. Thank you for watching this video with an open mind and heart. I truly am praying for you and I want you to know you are never ever alone! Thanks again for watching 😊
I'm Christian my best friend is atheist I hope that one day God brings you back to us. I don't agree with everything in the church either but I do know God is real there's a difference from religion and Faith @albertsonjenkins
@@Mrs.Rodarte I appreciate the sentiment but I was never a Christian. I never believed in God. I was raised without religion and I will remain that way. I respect all religions but have no intention practicing any faith. But thank you for your kind words.
@@GettothegoneI know marriage life could be complicated and it can’t be just one person’s fault but this whole story just sounds like it’s the husband who did not these wrong stuffs
My mom and I are going through something incredibly similar. Watching your story, it hits home. My dad is struggling with sex addiction and refuses to seek help. He's cheated on my mom hundreds, if not thousands of times. He's spent thousands of dollars on porn and meeting up with people from the internet. My mom filed for divorce this week and since then, he's been love bombing us... pretending nothing is happening. Its really tough to go through. The denile, the lying, the manipulation, etc. Its very abusive to not only us, but himself. Sending you a massive hug. Thank you for sharing your story.
I pray your father finds Jesus and repents! The devil only has 3 intentions: to Kill, steal and destroy. He hated family and hates love. Try to bring him to church! I hope all will be well💕 and I'm so sorry you and your mom have been experiencing this betrayal for years.
@@Rachel-yr7ch No, it's my job as a Christian. If you don't want to listen, then that's your decision, but I'm not trying to force anything. Just spreading the word. Jesus saved my life, and I know he can save anybody that allowed him to. I hope you have a great night💕
@@Rachel-yr7ch no one is forcing anyone into anything, they were being kind and clearly you are upset about it. Some people have religions ( including ) and no need to disrespect them! People like you are saddening
@@nataliafranco3471 exactly i personally don't believe in god but im not going to be disrespectful about it and call it a "cult" everyone has the right to believe any religon
The whole manipulation around sex and physical intimacy and using porn as a manipulation tactic is something that I went through in my previous relationship. I was 18 back then. 26 now. I haven't dated since because healing from that relationship alone has been a very long journey. I have taught myself so much in the process. I have been extremely selective about the people I surround myself with. Your story and persona resonated with me so much. Thank you for sharing your story. It must not have been easy. I wish you all the hope, comfort, and warmth in the world.
I'm 24, not married (yet), but your story taught me so much about the reality of marriage. Thank you for being open and brave enough to bare your scars to us. I'm so in love with your energy and overall style (cottagecore is my go-to aesthetic when it comes to dressing up). May He continually bless and heal your heart as the time passes! ♥️
I have not had this experience myself, but I’ve struggled with pornography. I’ve never gotten to the point of addiction but it was something I turned to occasionally when my hormones were raging and I should have been crying out to God or reaching out to other people instead. I knew in theory that it was harmful to me but refused to believe it was harmful to anyone else. Seeing what happened to you absolutely broke my heart. I broke down crying because I can’t imagine ever breaking someone’s heart the way yours was broken. I don’t want to let it get to that point. I’ve been growing more and more disgusted with pornography and I thank God for that. But this is that extra push that’s made me decide that I will not let myself get into marriage with a porn problem. I will not do this to another person. God bless you for sharing. You’ve helped change something in me.
This is so brave of you to share. Your words are going to help validate what many others cannot say but are struggling with. I’m so proud of you. Thank you for listening to my story ♥️
Dear Lauren, my heart actually kind of broke a little listening to your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this and equally I am so inspired by your faith and by the fact that you're still holding onto God and his promises to you. May He strengthen you and bless you abundantly. Much love ❤️
Hi Isabel. Thank you so much for watching and hearing my story. Jesus has truly been so good to me and has helped me during this loss. I appreciate you and I am so grateful for you!
Everything happens for a reason. Imagine finding all this out later in life with children involved. You dodged a bullet and will be much stronger going forward because of this, thanks for sharing
Girl our story is so similar. I’ve been there. Got married young, divorced at 22. But got away, thank God. Now I’m married to the most amazing man and blessed with a beautiful baby boy. I’m praying for you and thankful to see I wasn’t the only one who had to experience this.
Marrying the wrong person is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Thank God you found this out at an early age, you will be fine. You will remarry the right guy one day. You're such a sweet soul ❤ God bless you.
I also just went through a divorce as well, this past August, still in my 20s, after three years of marriage. The similarities to your story are almost haunting. The many tiny lies, the pornography, the half-finished book on how to salvage the relationship, the shame, the stress signals my body was giving me that I ignored, being told he’s no longer attracted to you, the cheating with an older woman but claiming it’s not “real” cheating towards the end of the relationship…seriously. You and I could probably talk for hours, lol. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best in your journey forward. You are NOT alone, and I mean that in both the sense that God is with you and that others have gone through similar experiences. I felt like an alien going through my divorce, unwanted, and a failure to boot. Time has given me so much clarity and peace already and I’m sure it has for you as well. A friend told me (when everything was still so raw) that someday she hoped everything I was going through would be seen as God’s mercy. That day came faster than I ever could’ve thought. Good luck. ❤
I had been really uneasy this week as I learned that my dear friend who just recently turned 18 is now engaged to a man who has cheated and lied throughout their 10 month relationship. I believe that in the church, young girls often fall into these situations because self love is not focused on, and many outdated ideas of a woman’s value have been perpetuated. I think we encourage grace to a fault when it causes young girls to fail to stand up for themselves and their boundaries in these sorts of relationships. I am truly sorry that this is your reality and I am praying healing over you. Peace be with you ❤
I felt every single word. It tore my heart apart! I wish i could give u the biggest hug u ever received. I can relate.. divorced.. 3 kids.. ex has cyber-sex addiction..
I love that you were able to so beautifully articulate on all you went through even despite it being such a horrible time in your life. I went through a horrible marriage and hope to be able to share my story and help others, like you have! Thank you!! God is so amazing and truly works all our pain and brokenness out for good! ❤
I don’t understand thinking it makes sense for teens/early 20s to marry and role-play adulthood when they’ve not matured or learned who they are yet. It’s a huge disservice to young people that early marriage is still pushed as a realistic or ideal decision. People deserve the time to grow up before committing themselves to be a life partner. They owe it to themselves AND their future spouse to get to grow up.
There's no ideal age to marry. You can gain emotional maturity or not at any age depending on the work you've done on yourself. The main thing about marriage is commitment to growing together. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40, you will either grow together or grow apart. Marrying later has the disadvantage of having lived your own way without compromise or taking into consideration another in your home. And age does not equal emotional maturity. As a therapist I have 30/40/50/60 year olds in my office that have no emotional regulation or maturity, they've simply never learned it. A good marriage has the incredible ability for you to 'find yourself'. You don't 'find yourself' in a vacuum, but with people that you trust deeply and are willing to take healthy feedback from.
I followed you on Instagram a while back, but asked for a divorce this weekend. I’m not on social media right now, but I wanted to seek out your story. Thank you for sharing. We need more content around this- getting divorced young can be so isolating.
I am so sorry to hear this. This breaks my heart. Through this, I know you will find new strength and the wound will heal in time. I will be praying over you tonight.
I completely identify with being within the first few months of marriage and things suddenly becoming awful. I got married at 21 and divorced at 26. I knew within the first few months - but I stayed for 4 years.
Your video has me sobbing. We literally have basically identical stories - except I stayed longer and things only got worse. I am still recovering 5 years after divorce. When you said “I loved being a wife, I want to be a wife” I felt that. But we loved hard and tried our very best. I still cry sometimes. Hugs bb.
Oh love, I’m so so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you that you have also had to go through this. Stick with me because we will heal from this ♥️
Mmm, let this be a lesson to other young Christian women about getting married unequally yolked*. There’s nothing wrong with Christian couples getting married young.
At the end of the day it’s a failing of her parents. To encourage marriage so young and high school dating with an unbeliever is illogical. Teenagers should not be getting married. Why wasn’t she taught to discern red flags and learn to have some boundaries and standards for how a boy/man can treat her? A lot of “turning a blind eye” resulting in this relationship continuing longer than it ever should have. Their entire timeline revolves around him- his school, moving for his study, marrying because he was leaving. What was she doing with her time? Studying? Working on herself?
I watch a short clip on Instagram of you dancing by yourself and I fully expected to dislike you and thought you just wanted “attention”… but I watched your entire video and I have to say you’re such a sweet, caring and loving person. You’re literally so beautiful inside and out and I’m so proud of you for being so young and brave. I believe you were the victim of a serious narcissist (possible sociopath?!) and he discarded you and thank God he did. You had no option but to let go (and that’s a huge blessing for someone with a heart that’s a bottomless well of love). I think the biggest lesson for all us discarded by narcissists is exactly that, we shouldn’t love people endlessly. We should stop and evaluate and make sure they deserve that love because it is the highest quality gift that you can give and not everyone deserves it. You’re so young and have a whole life ahead of you and I have no doubt you’re going to lead a life full of self love, self discovery and most of all resilience. I send you so much love and god energy. Take care of yourself and your kitty !!!
These words mean the absolute whole world to me. The fact that you didn’t make a snap judgement and watched this whole video to assess your feelings and thoughts about me just shows how intelligent, kind, and mature of a person YOU are. Your comment is SO validating and SO needed for me to read, especially when you mention stopping to assess the love we “should” have for someone. You have been a blessing to me today. Thank you ♥️
I am just seeing this now. With every passing minute I told myself that I couldn't get worse. I am so sorry for all the emotional manipulation and abuse this guy put you through. You are a princess and you deserve someone to match your light. I wish you health, healing and love
I went through such a similar thing with my ex boyfriend I remember how stressed out I was during that time my body was screaming for me to get out, once he cheated on me I finally felt free cuz I finally left. Praying for our healing💕💕
Hi, Lauren! Just popping in to thank you for sharing your experience. I'm a 30 year old lady currently nagivating the breakup of my own long term relationship. It's easily one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, so I can't imagine going through it at your age. I'm so happy for you for being able to find so much strength and wisdom and for being able to find so many chances for joy among the difficulty. Your content has been a great comfort for me the past few weeks - it makes me feel like I'll be okay, too. You are wonderful, and you are doing amazing. Whenever you see this, I hope you're having a good day. 💖
Lauren, you are so strong to come out and be vulnerable, truthful, and transparent to all of us. I pray for your happiness on this new healing journey. You are not alone and are loved by many! One day the right person will come along. You are a beautiful lady, stay strong and love yourself! We love you!
I'm not the one to comment or even watch a 40 min long video, but you literally had me from beginning to end. You seem like such a sweet caring girl, I cannot believe everything that's happened to you. I wish you lots of growth and happiness in the future, you truly deserve it ❤️
Values, values, values. He doesn't value honesty, he doesn't value truth, he doesn't value money or family, your home, your time, your peace, happiness and most importantly you! Every marriage that doesn't last always boils down to mismatch in values. I don't believe in God but you had a devil between your sheets. I'm so happy you got out. And this is coming from a happily married woman of 10 years.
The amount of grace you showed him. 💕 He will eventually realize what he lost. Continually trust the Lord & glad you got out of this toxic relationship! Stay strong
Hi Ellona! Thank you for watching this video and listening to my story. Jesus works in mysterious ways and Im truly grateful he has stayed with me this whole time and wont ever leave my side.
I am not sure someone that's so toxic will ever realize what he lost, but that's probably for the better, we don't want him trying to get back into her life
Watched this because I saw one of your TikToks, I am also a believer and got married really young (19) and my heart goes out to you for everything you’ve been through already 💛 Thank you for opening up and sharing and being a place for others to feel welcome
Wow. Thank you so much for coming over to watch from tiktok. It has been so incredibly hard to navigate this but kindhearted people like you, supporting my journey and cheering me help me so much🤍thank you again for watching
@@nkyryryyes, but it's not a criminal offence. 80%of men and around 30/40% of women are watching porn on the thing you're holding in your hand and that number is increasing.
Lauren, I just found your Instagram and saw your post bearing your soul about your divorce and journey to self love. While I haven’t dealt with things like this in my marriage, I have had a friendship which had some of these emotional abuse tactics used almost daily. So while I don’t know all of what you went through, I do know a glimpse. And I know God brought me out the other side. Keep going girlie. “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25 NIV You’re a beautiful soul. And I see the joy of Christ shining in you as you work your way through this tough journey. From one sister in Christ to another, I love you.
Your video helped me release so much pain. I’ve been separated since march 2023, but I’ve been holding back because it’s too painful to think about. I was also with him 7 years, lived with him for 5. I lost my job too, I feel so lost. Luckily I have my parents and friends and the Lord never abandons us. You are sooo strong for sharing your story, being vulnerable. You are really helping me. Thank you ❤God bless you ❤
Lauren, I’m blown away by your story. Your maturity and courage is so inspiring and I thank you for posting this! I recently just went through a divorce this past year and the similarities between my situation and yours are honestly insane. I was married for less than a year and my husband had the same struggles. I feel you so deeply and I have so much respect for you.
I was also 18 when I got married in 2021 and got divorced august 2022. He made me feel like I was wrong for having opinions different than his as it didn't align with the "home values" he shares w his family. The relationship became toxic as he wanted me to change only and to do whatever his parents said and listen to his brother's verbal abuse, including to not work, stop my education and have a baby asap; it was a joint family system. I'm so glad my entire family was supportive and I got out in time. I'm now studying, working a government job and hanging out w my friends. I miss having a partner but this is better crying everynight wondering why I was just so unhappy and heartbroken. Stay strong girls and guys
How didn't you know this was the kind of person he was before getting married. With the person in the video, it made sense cuz these were things that he kept hidden. But with stuff like his family and values, that doesn't make sense
Discovered your channel through ig today and listening to just the short I was fully invested to hear your story. And , my heart has been broken, and shifted in many ways watching your story, I feel so deeply for you and the women who have gone through this - you are loved and supported by so many of us hearing this. Thank you for sharing but also allowing a space for others to speak and think on these things and just have a catharsis. Keep speaking , keep being you and keep healing you are light for so many 💜
wow okay thank you so much for this. abuse doesn’t always have to be visible, and this really made me think about my own experiences with past relationships. i’m so glad i’m in a supportive and loving relationship that gives me motivation and love and life, and i would wish that with everyone. i love you lauren, you don’t know me but i love you and you are so strong for this. thank you eternally 💕
You are 1000% right. Abuse doesn’t always look like a black eye or busted lip. Sometimes it’s very quiet and invisible like you said. I appreciate you watching ♥️♥️
Lauren, thank you for telling us your divorce story. I'm feeling so many emotions at once after watching your video that I struggle to find the right words to express them. But if I can say the least -- stay encouraged to spread the word and talk about that which is usually overlooked when we talk about women's position in marriage. Thank you for including all the resources, studies, and links. I pray that the person who watches this finds the courage to listen to what their heart is telling them. The way you've told this story with grace gave me so much hope for healing in this world and I'm so genuinely happy to see you heal and learn to trust, love, respect, and value yourself. That picture in the white summer dress truly says a lot about what a beautiful, talented, creative, kindly smiling, valuable part of this world you are ❤And thanks to the most merciful Lord who's helped you see that in yourself at the right time and place. Sending hugs your way xx
Hi Ana. Thank you so so much for watching and hearing my story. Your words hold so much value to me and truly encourage me so much. I am so blessed to know you and call you my friend. Thank you for being so supportive and rooting for me
Young women need to understand that marriage can be used as a tool for entrapment in a relationship that is not meant for you. Truly take the time to consider what you gain from marrying a person before you do so! Strong feelings aren't enough without a strong foundation of support, honesty and stability. Like this story, many men will lie or sell a fantasy just to trap you; not all proposals or marriages are made equal!
I was in a relationship that ended when I mentioned my ex’s pornography obsession. He tried to justify that with depression. I really thought he was the one, so it was really shocking for me. For the past two years I have felt so alone wondering if I was the problem for feeling insecure and uncomfortable with him watching those kinds of things. Your story really opened my eyes- I feel so relieved that I was definitely not the problem. Thank you for telling your story, and I’m praying for your continued healing ❤️
I know how hard this sharing must have been for you. Your raw honesty is refreshing but my heart breaks for all you have been through. So thankful that you have learned to lean on God for your strength and healing. I will pray for your continued healing. I love you sweet girl. You DO deserve to be treated well and cherished like the wonderful young lady you are. God has someone that is right for you - wait on God for him and pray for that person even before you know who it is!! You are special and you are loved!!❤
Lauren, thank you for your faith and courage. I've had similar things happen in my marriage and this video was unbelievably helpful for me. I wish you all the joy and I know God will continue to bless you for your faith and kindness ❤
Lauren, I am praying for you. I can identify with you after 52 years of marriage to someone like this. I was 19 and he was 24 when we married, but I realized 2 weeks after our wedding that I had made a terrible mistake. We had 3 children and it was not a good life for them, but God watched over us and gave me 8 grandchildren. I left him last year at the age of 71. God is so good! He will see you through this season of your life. Keep the faith!
Would you have wished that you left him before having children? I also married young and even before the marriage he made terrible mistakes. I can even think of exactly when we should've broken up before things got serious. We are married at 23 now and have known each other for 9 years, we have no children nor any joint assets. Im reaching my limit after all these years and wondering if now would he tye perfect time to end things before it's too late.
@@normalouis8593please leave as soon as you know you can't trust a man. I say this as a woman who got divorced after 32 years of marriage. Once they cannot be trusted, my experience is the problem never resolves.
Babe.. your story resonates so deeply with me as I had some eerily similar happen to me too. I began dating my ex (luckily we never married but we do have children) when I was 15 or 16 and went through the same patterns of lying, porn addiction and cheating. In the end he admitted to thinking he was a borderline sociopath. I was just a shell coming out of the relationship after 5 years. He cheated on me while I was pregnant. Everything was my fault because I was so “emotional”. It took YEARS and many hours of therapy to heal. And I truly believe I only made it because I had two kiddos to take care of. I had to prove that he couldn’t break me. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I don’t think these types of people realize how deeply they’re breaking another persons soul and I’m not sure they care but please know there’s so many of us out here who do care. Please reach out if you ever want to chat. I’d love to talk.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. This must have been incredibly difficult to to go through but here you are. You made it and I’m so proud of you for going to therapy and healing through this!! Praying over you and your children!♥️
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I'm not Christian but wow did I feel emotional with your prayer at the end. Thank you for this, for sharing and talking and being brave, for showing that it's possible to exist on your own. I wish you so much love and peace xx
Lauren you are SO STRONG like wow, I hope you know how much all of this made you grow and into who you are today. I wish you to find true love, but first love within yourself. Much love
Thanks for being so open and sharing 🙏🏻 I know that if I ended up getting married to my long term boyfriend when I was younger I would 100% ended up in divorce. So glad God got you out of that situation. Jeremiah 29:11 ❤
You are so so brave for sharing this, thank you. I feel less alone hearing your story, though mine is different in many ways. When you said you realized you were worth more than the situation you were in I nearly started crying because I have felt the same way before. Also, when you shared that he said he didn't find you attractive my jaw literally dropped. You have such a delicate and feminine beauty and style, and a gracefulness about you that I envy- and I mean that wholeheartedly. I also teared up when you prayed for us. Thank you Lauren. Our God is truly the best mender of broken hearts and truly does reap joy from tears.
Lena, this touched me in ways I cannot explain. Thank you so so much for saying this. Wow, that is just so incredibly sweet and kind of you! Thank you for watching this and listening to my story. Jesus really is the Prince of Peace and i feel so much comfort knowing he will never leave our side!
It’s insane that I came across your insta account. I went through something very similar but I wasn’t married just living with him. I’m so grateful I got out of that situation… life is so much better. And you look like you are glowing! Thank you for sharing your story! ❤
Saying this out of love. (❤) I also got married young (21) & have had many friends also marrying young (were all Christian) … it’s important BEFORE marriage, to take the time to get to know your significant other. Be honest & vulnerable. Participate in your local church together, join ministries, have leaders watch over your relationship. Talk about finances, morals, and what trauma you went through as children. Basically the idea is to protect yourself from getting hurt before making the big commitment. Marriage can bring out both the worst / best in people. But before marriage is the time to learn about a person … and marriage can be messy, it’s not always going to be perfect. May God will protect you & heal you.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this ordeal, and all these situations. Love is supposed to be a beautiful life experience, where people care for each other & navigate life together. I hope you find the strength over time, take care of yourself, heal from this & go on to love & life your life the way you want & deserve ✨ 🌻
This hit home. I was in a similar relationship from 2008-2016. I resonated so much with your story! God is going to send you the most amazing, loving, trustworthy man into your life one day. You walked in obedience and you are helping so many women by posting a video like this. When I was going through it, I felt alone. I couldn’t think for myself, I couldn’t do the most mundane things without him and I had to start my life completely over as a woman and mom. Sending love and hugs! God bless you girl ❤
The porn industry has really tried to market it as “normal” and ”healthy” to watch porn. Girls are made to feel like we’re so cool if we’re okay with our man watching porn, which is messed up on so many levels. But more and more studies are coming out about how damaging porn is on relationships. It leads to unfulfilled intimacy issues, insecurities, unrealistic expectations, etc
Lauren, you shared with such grace. It was never supposed to be this way, but I know God is using you to be a light to others who are going through similar situations. You are brave, resilient, kind, and beautiful inside and out. I love you pal🤍
Thank you so much for watching this Brynne and for being here for me for so long. You truly are a friend that I feel so grateful to have in my life. You are a part of my healing journey and I couldn't be more grateful for that!
i know that some people will not be happy with what im about to say but as someone who was in a relationship with a non-believer, you have to marry someone in the faith. You have to have the same faith, values, and morals. Its the only way a marriage can work. Sending prayers for healing 💗
Thanks for sharing this, Lauren. I can’t even imagine how hard and painful was pass through this relationship. I got so emotional when you talked about deserving someone better because I had a similar situation with my ex boyfriend, I accepted a lot of things that wasn’t good for me, I exceeded all my limits and values just to not lose him, until it got to the point where I lost myself. That's when I went back to church and I felt in my heart that he wasn't for me and that God is separating someone better for my life, so I broke up with him. But it’s still difficult because we are in the senior year of high school and have to see each other every day, but I know that I’m not alone, God is with me, such as he is with you. So thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this online, I appreciate how strong and brave you are. I hope that God continues to bless your life and always believe in his plans, even if you don't understand them now. P.S. sorry if the grammar is wrong, I'm brazilian 🇧🇷 and please keep making videos here for youtube! I will love to see them ❤️
Wow Fernanda. This touched me. Thank you so much for sharing a part of your story here. I know that me as well as others will be really encouraged by what you said. I am so glad you also know Jesus and know that he will always be with us in times of trouble and throughout our everyday. Thank you again, for watching and for sharing this.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. I’m the same age as you and I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that kind of stress. When you talked about worrying about doing things alone and for yourself I actually cried because that isn’t something you should have to worry about at 20/21 years old. I can see you’re in a better place than you once were but I hope God continues to heal your spirit and heart.
First, I am so sorry you suffered this way -- and for so long. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others! One lesson for all viewing this is to walk away with the first major event. Your time is precious -- valuable; don't waste it on fools. "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time" -- MayaAngelou.
I'm so sorry Lauren. Your strength is inspirational and I know you'll continue to be a beacon of light in this world. I'm proud of your courage through this process. God #1 and yourself #2 know more about yourself than anyone else. I wish you the best that this life has to offer and God bless you and your family
Hi Ethan, it's so good to hear from you! Thank you for watching this and for listening to my story. You say the beginning and from an outside perspective, hearing what was really happening myst be strange in some ways. I appreciate you listening and saying this!
So relieved to see you have the support you needed. You dodged a bullet and you deserve so much more. Im so glad you got out in time. Porn addiction is a cancer. I’m 40, divorced from a porn addict who blamed me for his addiction, told me I was not “enough” for him and turned abusive the last 4 years before I got to out but it was too late by then. I learned that he exposed my son to porn who then went on to abuse his little brothers. My son is in state custody and my two younger boys are forever traumatized. Porn is not benign.
This is somehow validating my feelings about my first marriage when I was 21. It’s been 25 years and I never really talked about it openly. He really let me down too and I struggled before leaving. I ran into him last year and he tried to convince me to stay in his hotel room even though we are both remarried 😮(I declined of course). A leopard doesn’t change its spots. I’m really proud of you for leaving and knowing that you deserve to be happy and don’t have to put up with his ridiculous behavior. 👏
I’m 22 and just broke off my engagement to a man I thought was quiet, innocent and kind. We were waiting til marriage to have sex (thank God!) so I was able to see things clearly. In truth, he seemed distant and something was off. I followed my gut and am so relieved we aren’t getting married! ❤ Trust your gut. Sex and marriage won’t fix your problems. Thank you for sharing!
im sorry you went through this, and legally this must have been a nightmare. i am also religious and only planned on living with someone else married but ever since ive entered law school ive realized how bad of an idea this is. its not even about you guys being young, a 30 yo man could have lied about the same things to you and most of the time you only find this stuff out when you live together. i hope just the best to you❤ you deserve much better and im glad you realized it
@@xoyouaremysunshinexo same!!! I used to be such a traditional when it comes to marriage but after a couple classes and studying a couple cases i realized how people can straight up lie to you and the how complex the law side of things can get and you can loose sooo much if things go south. in divorce so much can go wrong. It's crazy.
thank you so much for sharing your story. i stumbled across your instagram page through reels, and as a christian who is getting engaged really soon (he just asked my dad!!) and will be 19 or 20 when we do get married, i was curious as to what happened. thank you for sharing and giving me more confidence in my future husband, and i am so sorry that this was your experience. i pray you can find a man who loves and honors God with his whole heart.
As soon as he was flirting with others during their high school relationship and was a porn user should have been enough to end things. The fact that he was an unbeliever when they started dating and her Christian parents did not intervene speaks a thousand words. Marrying at such a young age and in such a rushed way after the history of bad behaviour and broken trust is sad- young girls need to stand up for themselves and parents need to raise girls to be wise and discerning when choosing a husband. Teenagers are not ready for marriage.
@@lelaninelson7200 it’s not that teenagers aren’t “ready”. It’s that society/community, family is not Ready to be a law abiding demanding organized disciplined religious community that protects their own with ferocity and the community & State BACKS THEM UP. That’s what isn’t ready. Two young kids thrust out Alone into a hedonist lawless Atomized wilderness? A Fool’s errand. Demise awaits them. This modernity experiment has failed over And over again. If we don’t stop it, there will be nothing left.
@@lelaninelson7200all of society gaslights us and tells us it’s “normal”, we’re crazy, and everyone does it. Then we watch all our friends in relationships deal with the same or worse. Porn addicts tend to overcompensate being amazing in areas many men are not- the father of my child Pursued me more than any other man. He carried the mental load, he did housework, he took me on dates, let me be a SAHM, bragged about me to friends and family, got me flowers on the reg, was into all of my hobbies… it’s hard to learn that most women have men who also lust but don’t do any of those other things so…. Don’t act like it’s so black and white
I relate to this SO much. Currently going through a divorce due to my STBX porn addiction and being lied to/manipulated for 4 years. Fell sooo ill from everything, ending up seeing 5 different specialists during that time.
Now is the time to begin learning who you are and learning to be comfortable with being by yourself, because it sounds like one of the reasons you continued to stay was because you were afraid of being alone, which is extremely sad. When you're alone, you learn more about who you are, your likes and dislikes, your boundaries and you learn how to do things yourself. It's important to spend your early years working on yourself and your spirituality. Then once you feel comfortable within yourself, you will be able to welcome someone in your life who will respect you and love you in the purest way.
I have a similar situation to you but I'm contemplating divorce. Ive know him since we were 14, married at 20 and we're now 23. There have been multiple problems and I even know exactly when we should've broken up before things got out of hand. At the moment the main problem is that he avoids going to college and driving, a few months ago, him getting a job was a huge problem too. I'm keeping a journal to analyze the situation so that I can learn from this and make an informed decision. Unfortunately some of us go through these experiences and have to learn from it. But, this gives us the chance to make more informed choices. I cannot express how happy I am to know your story, I cant talk to my family or friends about this issue and even though this is a video and not a conversation there is so much insight you have. I'm sorry you had to go through this, I dont wish it on anyone. Im also a Christian and your prayer at the end really touched my heart ❤️
I’m not religious, but I see so many patrolled between your story and my most significant relationship in my twenties. Always fighting to fix their mistakes. Always forgiving the unforgivable. Always bracing yourself for the next crazy thing they do. Even without marriage many people stay in abusive relationships and try to fix things. You are not alone. So lovely to hear your story.
Hey Lauren, wow you are so brave. Porn is such a huge problem today, and it’s not talked about enough. I don’t know a single girl who it hasn’t touched in some way, and I have some pretty deep scars from it. You’re not alone. We are navigating a really challenging digital world and I gotta say I’ve wished so many times that the internet didn’t exist just because of how much pain porn causes. My heart goes out to you 😔 you’re in my prayers ❤️
Thank you for this video. I was feeling lost and frustrated at who I was and what my life had amounted to but at the end of the video, I felt at peace, loved, and encouraged. God is good. It also brought a friend to mind who is also struggling with trauma from a previous toxic relationship. I want to be there for her, and this video was really helpful. I’m grateful. Sending love and prayers. Your courage and strength is inspiring.
Dear Lauren am happy for you getting out of abuse marriage is bravery , I’m going through divorce too I was in abuse marriage physical abuse and mental abuse I didn’t sleep well I didn’t eat well I had to sleep in hospital for a while because of the abuse, thank you for sharing your story
I cannot imagine the trauma you are facing. That is horrible and no human deserves that kind of treatment. I hope you are safe now. I also pray you can find the right therapist to help you process this trauma ♥️
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I got divorced three years ago. Very toxic went through emotional abuse among other things. Never saw red flags due to how young. Romans 8:28 I an currently studying to become a therapist now. Thanks for your reminder we are not alone
Hi Melissa! Thank you so much for listening to my story and sharing some of yours. That must have been incredibly hard to go through and I am so proud of you for coming out on the other side. I don't know if I have ever read that verse but I so needed to read that, thank you Melissa! I appreciate you so much!
Lauren, I am so proud of you. Not only have you had to go through such a difficult time, but you had the strength to share it with us. This is such a vulnerable topic/situation and it seems you have handled it so gracefully. You also have helped me see some of the similar issues I have seen within my own relationship. Ones that I have been trying to ignore. So, thank you! I also feel the need to remind you that, God works his hardest in our most darkest times. He is working so hard in your life right now, and though some days may be tougher than others He is ALWAYS by your side. I’m praying for healing for you and anyone else going through something similar.
Were you guys practicing celibacy prior to the unification? Sometimes the desires of our flesh, can lead us to seeing past things, when we wouldn’t otherwise. QUICK VENT: I got engaged a few days ago, and despite being super overwhelmed with joy, something kept tugging at me ever since the engagement, and I had to let my now fiancé know that I am not ready for marriage yet. And although it was a tough convo to have, I feel that him and I both have a lot of growing to do, and I would also like to have more for myself before becoming one with him. I will say though, that us choosing to start and remain consistent within our celibacy journey, helped a lot in being able to have that (more like “those” cause there were a few convos had) conversation. I feel like I need to take things slower, because I feel like only time will tell if he’s the right man for me. Hoping that he is, but I don’t want to control the situation or anything. I’m literally just gonna focus on school and let God do what God does best lmao. BACK TO YOU: You are a warrior though and you know what they say, “humans make plans and God laughs. “ See what you can take from this season and see the areas in which this situation has provided you an outlet to grow. Even in a healthy relationship, God needs to remain the main focus, otherwise it can all easily fall apart. And it’s so much easier said than done. That’s one of those, I need to practice what I’m preaching moments haha. Praying for you healing ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. I stayed in a relationship for 26 years, my relationship in many ways a mirror of what you describe. Its been just a few months since my husband left, and in the beginning I felt abandoned even though I'd been treated so terribly, but now through the grace of God and friends, with distance I'm seeing the darkness I lived in from pressure to lies and coercion and shaming for 'not doing enough' to make him happy. I know I was unhappy for years, and I hurt, but the enormity of it is more clear now. I realize my prayers to God were answered with him removing this man from my life. I've had a great deal of sadness that I feel like I lost the prime years of my life and now in my mid 50's I'll be alone, but I realize alone and happy and content is better than living with abuse and misery. And.... I have God. I'm closer to God now and I feel less stress and fear of uncertainty than I did eing with my husband and unsure of his actions and intentions. He used and abused me and my reactions over time created anger and bitterness and an even more toxic situation. I'm now trying to heal, and have a long road but know I'm going to be ok, where before I feared what each day could bring. This is something people don't talk about. Or, as my ex husband would tell me.... why can't you be a cool wife, guys do porn. No, real guys who love themselves, their God and their wife/family do NOT do Porn and shame their wife into being ok with it. The things that were pressured on me made me pull away over time and not be able to connect with him. I felt betrayed, and dirty. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Here’s a recap of mine so hopefully you can relate. I was married at 22 and divorced at 28. Not including marriage, we were together for over 7 years. He was my everything. We were the best of friends. But one day he came forward and told me about his porn addiction. It was something he’d been struggling with since before we were even together. He hid all of it from me. I saw red flags, but like you, I brushed them off. It crushed me, but I was willing to work through it. But unfortunately there was more. He then felt the need to completely come forward. He told me about girls, lies, deception and manipulation through the years. It was completely horrifying. At the same time he didn’t want me telling anybody about our issues. So I remained silent (which was the worst thing I could have done). I was miserable for months until my breaking point. Once I finally reached out and started talking to friends and family, I realized I wasn’t crazy, though my husband at the time made me feel that way. Thankfully it was an amicable divorce. And GIRL! Changing your last name again is the worst! Anyway, it’s been 6 months and I’m starting to feel more independent and healing more each day. I hope you focus on yourself and start healing as well. ❤️
Lauren, thank you so so much for sharing your story. My heart breaks for you ♥️ You are so strong and such an inspiration. Your testimony that God was by your side through all of this, has been such a comfort for me, as my relationship with God has been rocky. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all the best as you go towards the wonderful life that awaits you
Hi Emma! Thank you for watching and I am so glad that this was able to encourage you and bless you in some way! Please remember Jesus is always here with us and just wants to hear from us. He is a father and a friend and loves you so much!
Thank you for sharing your story. This has nothing to do with being young as some are suggesting in the comments. Sex addiction affects all ages. It's hard to lose your husband, friend, and lover all at the same time. I'm glad you got out. I learned 9 months into my marriage that my husband had a sex/porn addiction. I was 34 years old. He had been rejecting me sexually and I didn't understand. I, too, got sick and have had many physical symptoms due to stress. God is my peace and comfort and hope for the future. Blessings🙏❤
I'm so proud of you for getting through this!! That is unbelievably hard to go through this with the person you thought you would grow old with and I will always be in awe of how amazing you are and how far you have gotten
You are so so strong and brave Lauren. My heart breaks for you. But truly thank you so much for sharing. You’ve actually taught me a few things about a current situation I am going through in a relationship. So just thank you. Lord, I pray for full restoration and healing over Laurens life. I pray that her faith continues to grow. I pray you give her peace. I pray that you heal her of any health issues she has come to struggle with in Jesus name. God keep Lauren wrapped in Your arms. That she never forgets she is a LITERAL princess! She is Your daughter. The daughter of the King. She deserves a life full of true genuine love and happiness, nothing less. Amen❤️
Hi Caroline! Thank you so much for listening to my story. it definitely was a lot to go through but I know Jesus will use this story to help others which is just what he does best!! That prayer means more to me than you know. I don't know if I have had anyone pray for FULL healing for me and that is what I need after all of this. Thank you so so much
your story hits home that it was really hard to watch because a lot of the things that happened to you all the way up to the inadequate and transactional part out of fear. I felt so clueless on what to do most part of that relationship, confused on if this was something normal to deal with as a partner or if I was doing something wrong. It was years ago but now 8-9 years later I can say that we both were young and I dont even think he realized what he was doing to me or how this was affecting me. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, its hard to 100% know who your partner really is sometimes with all the technology, socials, and personal lives ppl have on their devices. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m Muslim and in my community women tend to marry early and really idolize marriage until they face the reality of it. As women, we need to know ourselves better and work on our future before we get with someone. We need to know the guy as well and we need to stop being delusional
Most guys today are not worth marrying. Our society has a serious masculinity issue and women should just vet as hard as possible before even getting in a relationship or married.
@@TechOutAdamthere's a masculinity problem and you are living proof of that. 😂
@@ardordeleonno, you’re the proof of it.
@@DX-dno it’s you who are the proof
@ardordeleon If you are a mature man leaving a serious comment - you should take the juvenile "laughing emoji" off at the end of said statement; then your words would hold to be true...
The best thing I learned in life is that I don't have to accept unacceptable behavior❤. No one does actually.
That why I role solo now because people cannot take accountability for their action
I'm an atheist but the prayer at the end felt really nice and really spoke to me. It's comforting to think that someone I don't even know would pray for my wellbeing.
Albertson, this touched me so much. Thank you for watching this video with an open mind and heart. I truly am praying for you and I want you to know you are never ever alone! Thanks again for watching 😊
💙
I'm Christian my best friend is atheist I hope that one day God brings you back to us. I don't agree with everything in the church either but I do know God is real there's a difference from religion and Faith @albertsonjenkins
And Lauren you are so strong marriage is hard for me and I'm 35 I could imagine at 18
@@Mrs.Rodarte I appreciate the sentiment but I was never a Christian. I never believed in God. I was raised without religion and I will remain that way. I respect all religions but have no intention practicing any faith. But thank you for your kind words.
This dude will probably never change. It's a shame. Your such a sweet beautiful girl. HIS LOSS
You understand this all? Wow you must be super smart
@@GettothegoneI know marriage life could be complicated and it can’t be just one person’s fault but this whole story just sounds like it’s the husband who did not these wrong stuffs
Such a sweet girl …. 😢
@@Gettothegonedo you?
All I can say is thank you for sharing. Forty years I lived in this and I’m struggling to find myself again.
My mom and I are going through something incredibly similar. Watching your story, it hits home. My dad is struggling with sex addiction and refuses to seek help. He's cheated on my mom hundreds, if not thousands of times. He's spent thousands of dollars on porn and meeting up with people from the internet.
My mom filed for divorce this week and since then, he's been love bombing us... pretending nothing is happening. Its really tough to go through. The denile, the lying, the manipulation, etc. Its very abusive to not only us, but himself. Sending you a massive hug. Thank you for sharing your story.
I pray your father finds Jesus and repents! The devil only has 3 intentions: to Kill, steal and destroy. He hated family and hates love. Try to bring him to church! I hope all will be well💕 and I'm so sorry you and your mom have been experiencing this betrayal for years.
@@Rachel-yr7ch No, it's my job as a Christian. If you don't want to listen, then that's your decision, but I'm not trying to force anything. Just spreading the word. Jesus saved my life, and I know he can save anybody that allowed him to. I hope you have a great night💕
@@Rachel-yr7ch It's not a cult, it's the truth.
@@Rachel-yr7ch no one is forcing anyone into anything, they were being kind and clearly you are upset about it. Some people have religions ( including ) and no need to disrespect them! People like you are saddening
@@nataliafranco3471 exactly i personally don't believe in god but im not going to be disrespectful about it and call it a "cult" everyone has the right to believe any religon
The whole manipulation around sex and physical intimacy and using porn as a manipulation tactic is something that I went through in my previous relationship. I was 18 back then. 26 now. I haven't dated since because healing from that relationship alone has been a very long journey. I have taught myself so much in the process. I have been extremely selective about the people I surround myself with. Your story and persona resonated with me so much. Thank you for sharing your story. It must not have been easy. I wish you all the hope, comfort, and warmth in the world.
I'm 24, not married (yet), but your story taught me so much about the reality of marriage. Thank you for being open and brave enough to bare your scars to us. I'm so in love with your energy and overall style (cottagecore is my go-to aesthetic when it comes to dressing up). May He continually bless and heal your heart as the time passes! ♥️
Thank you so much for watching ♥️
I have not had this experience myself, but I’ve struggled with pornography. I’ve never gotten to the point of addiction but it was something I turned to occasionally when my hormones were raging and I should have been crying out to God or reaching out to other people instead. I knew in theory that it was harmful to me but refused to believe it was harmful to anyone else. Seeing what happened to you absolutely broke my heart. I broke down crying because I can’t imagine ever breaking someone’s heart the way yours was broken. I don’t want to let it get to that point. I’ve been growing more and more disgusted with pornography and I thank God for that. But this is that extra push that’s made me decide that I will not let myself get into marriage with a porn problem. I will not do this to another person. God bless you for sharing. You’ve helped change something in me.
This is so brave of you to share. Your words are going to help validate what many others cannot say but are struggling with. I’m so proud of you. Thank you for listening to my story ♥️
I have struggled off and on as well... it's a continual choice to honor God.
No man chooses porn over his woman. He resorts to it when he's neglected by his woman.
Dear Lauren, my heart actually kind of broke a little listening to your story. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this and equally I am so inspired by your faith and by the fact that you're still holding onto God and his promises to you. May He strengthen you and bless you abundantly. Much love ❤️
Hi Isabel. Thank you so much for watching and hearing my story. Jesus has truly been so good to me and has helped me during this loss. I appreciate you and I am so grateful for you!
Everything happens for a reason. Imagine finding all this out later in life with children involved. You dodged a bullet and will be much stronger going forward because of this, thanks for sharing
Exactly. Thanks so much for watching and listening with an open mind and heart
Girl our story is so similar. I’ve been there. Got married young, divorced at 22. But got away, thank God. Now I’m married to the most amazing man and blessed with a beautiful baby boy. I’m praying for you and thankful to see I wasn’t the only one who had to experience this.
Marrying the wrong person is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Thank God you found this out at an early age, you will be fine. You will remarry the right guy one day. You're such a sweet soul ❤ God bless you.
I also just went through a divorce as well, this past August, still in my 20s, after three years of marriage. The similarities to your story are almost haunting. The many tiny lies, the pornography, the half-finished book on how to salvage the relationship, the shame, the stress signals my body was giving me that I ignored, being told he’s no longer attracted to you, the cheating with an older woman but claiming it’s not “real” cheating towards the end of the relationship…seriously. You and I could probably talk for hours, lol.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the best in your journey forward. You are NOT alone, and I mean that in both the sense that God is with you and that others have gone through similar experiences. I felt like an alien going through my divorce, unwanted, and a failure to boot. Time has given me so much clarity and peace already and I’m sure it has for you as well. A friend told me (when everything was still so raw) that someday she hoped everything I was going through would be seen as God’s mercy. That day came faster than I ever could’ve thought. Good luck. ❤
every single aspect of your story resonates with me. it’s so crazy that so many women have dealt with this. thank you for sharing.
100% on the same wave length minus the type of person he cheated with. But so undeniably spot on.
I had been really uneasy this week as I learned that my dear friend who just recently turned 18 is now engaged to a man who has cheated and lied throughout their 10 month relationship. I believe that in the church, young girls often fall into these situations because self love is not focused on, and many outdated ideas of a woman’s value have been perpetuated. I think we encourage grace to a fault when it causes young girls to fail to stand up for themselves and their boundaries in these sorts of relationships. I am truly sorry that this is your reality and I am praying healing over you. Peace be with you ❤
I felt every single word. It tore my heart apart! I wish i could give u the biggest hug u ever received. I can relate.. divorced.. 3 kids.. ex has cyber-sex addiction..
I’m so so sorry to hear this. You are so strong though. Thank you very much for watching ♥️
I love that you were able to so beautifully articulate on all you went through even despite it being such a horrible time in your life. I went through a horrible marriage and hope to be able to share my story and help others, like you have! Thank you!! God is so amazing and truly works all our pain and brokenness out for good! ❤
@@liaslovelylife I appreciate you ❤️❤️❤️
I don’t understand thinking it makes sense for teens/early 20s to marry and role-play adulthood when they’ve not matured or learned who they are yet. It’s a huge disservice to young people that early marriage is still pushed as a realistic or ideal decision. People deserve the time to grow up before committing themselves to be a life partner. They owe it to themselves AND their future spouse to get to grow up.
What religion is this
There’s no where in the Bible to marry young
There's no ideal age to marry. You can gain emotional maturity or not at any age depending on the work you've done on yourself. The main thing about marriage is commitment to growing together. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or 40, you will either grow together or grow apart. Marrying later has the disadvantage of having lived your own way without compromise or taking into consideration another in your home. And age does not equal emotional maturity. As a therapist I have 30/40/50/60 year olds in my office that have no emotional regulation or maturity, they've simply never learned it. A good marriage has the incredible ability for you to 'find yourself'. You don't 'find yourself' in a vacuum, but with people that you trust deeply and are willing to take healthy feedback from.
I followed you on Instagram a while back, but asked for a divorce this weekend. I’m not on social media right now, but I wanted to seek out your story. Thank you for sharing. We need more content around this- getting divorced young can be so isolating.
I am so sorry to hear this. This breaks my heart. Through this, I know you will find new strength and the wound will heal in time. I will be praying over you tonight.
@@LaurenJuarez thank you 💕 your story is so full of hope. I hope someday I can share mine.
I completely identify with being within the first few months of marriage and things suddenly becoming awful. I got married at 21 and divorced at 26. I knew within the first few months - but I stayed for 4 years.
Same exact thing!
What were the major changes that made u think u made a mistake?
Literally got chills when you prayed for all of your viewers. Thank you
Your video has me sobbing. We literally have basically identical stories - except I stayed longer and things only got worse. I am still recovering 5 years after divorce. When you said “I loved being a wife, I want to be a wife” I felt that. But we loved hard and tried our very best. I still cry sometimes. Hugs bb.
Oh love, I’m so so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you that you have also had to go through this. Stick with me because we will heal from this ♥️
Let this be a lesson to other young Christian women getting married young.
Mmm, let this be a lesson to other young Christian women about getting married unequally yolked*. There’s nothing wrong with Christian couples getting married young.
@@AlwaysAsherthis is the comment I was looking for ❤
@AlwaysAsher Exactly. Actually, it should be a lesson to any Christian of any age getting married unevenly yolked.
At the end of the day it’s a failing of her parents. To encourage marriage so young and high school dating with an unbeliever is illogical. Teenagers should not be getting married. Why wasn’t she taught to discern red flags and learn to have some boundaries and standards for how a boy/man can treat her? A lot of “turning a blind eye” resulting in this relationship continuing longer than it ever should have. Their entire timeline revolves around him- his school, moving for his study, marrying because he was leaving. What was she doing with her time? Studying? Working on herself?
I watch a short clip on Instagram of you dancing by yourself and I fully expected to dislike you and thought you just wanted “attention”… but I watched your entire video and I have to say you’re such a sweet, caring and loving person. You’re literally so beautiful inside and out and I’m so proud of you for being so young and brave. I believe you were the victim of a serious narcissist (possible sociopath?!) and he discarded you and thank God he did. You had no option but to let go (and that’s a huge blessing for someone with a heart that’s a bottomless well of love).
I think the biggest lesson for all us discarded by narcissists is exactly that, we shouldn’t love people endlessly. We should stop and evaluate and make sure they deserve that love because it is the highest quality gift that you can give and not everyone deserves it.
You’re so young and have a whole life ahead of you and I have no doubt you’re going to lead a life full of self love, self discovery and most of all resilience.
I send you so much love and god energy. Take care of yourself and your kitty !!!
These words mean the absolute whole world to me. The fact that you didn’t make a snap judgement and watched this whole video to assess your feelings and thoughts about me just shows how intelligent, kind, and mature of a person YOU are. Your comment is SO validating and SO needed for me to read, especially when you mention stopping to assess the love we “should” have for someone. You have been a blessing to me today. Thank you ♥️
You expected to hate someone over a dancing video. Really sit with that thought…
@@Lealea883 my thoughts exactly tbh
@@Lealea883 that’s so weird
@@Lealea883right? that’s so weird
I am just seeing this now. With every passing minute I told myself that I couldn't get worse. I am so sorry for all the emotional manipulation and abuse this guy put you through.
You are a princess and you deserve someone to match your light. I wish you health, healing and love
I went through such a similar thing with my ex boyfriend I remember how stressed out I was during that time my body was screaming for me to get out, once he cheated on me I finally felt free cuz I finally left. Praying for our healing💕💕
Hi, Lauren! Just popping in to thank you for sharing your experience. I'm a 30 year old lady currently nagivating the breakup of my own long term relationship. It's easily one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, so I can't imagine going through it at your age. I'm so happy for you for being able to find so much strength and wisdom and for being able to find so many chances for joy among the difficulty. Your content has been a great comfort for me the past few weeks - it makes me feel like I'll be okay, too. You are wonderful, and you are doing amazing. Whenever you see this, I hope you're having a good day. 💖
Lauren, you are so strong to come out and be vulnerable, truthful, and transparent to all of us. I pray for your happiness on this new healing journey. You are not alone and are loved by many! One day the right person will come along. You are a beautiful lady, stay strong and love yourself! We love you!
Your testimony really helped me. Thank you for having the courage to share your story 🙏🏾
I appreciate you watching so much and I am so glad this helped 🤍🤍 Jesus is moving.
I'm not the one to comment or even watch a 40 min long video, but you literally had me from beginning to end. You seem like such a sweet caring girl, I cannot believe everything that's happened to you. I wish you lots of growth and happiness in the future, you truly deserve it ❤️
Wow. This comment really got me 🥺🤍 thank you so so much for saying that and taking the time to comment! I appreciate your support so much!🤎
Values, values, values. He doesn't value honesty, he doesn't value truth, he doesn't value money or family, your home, your time, your peace, happiness and most importantly you!
Every marriage that doesn't last always boils down to mismatch in values. I don't believe in God but you had a devil between your sheets. I'm so happy you got out. And this is coming from a happily married woman of 10 years.
The amount of grace you showed him. 💕 He will eventually realize what he lost. Continually trust the Lord & glad you got out of this toxic relationship! Stay strong
Hi Ellona! Thank you for watching this video and listening to my story. Jesus works in mysterious ways and Im truly grateful he has stayed with me this whole time and wont ever leave my side.
I am not sure someone that's so toxic will ever realize what he lost, but that's probably for the better, we don't want him trying to get back into her life
I am going through a separation/ divorce right now. Hearing and watching this is encouraging
I’m so so sorry to hear that. You are not alone at all!! I’m so glad that you found this video and it could be helpful for you 🤍
Watched this because I saw one of your TikToks, I am also a believer and got married really young (19) and my heart goes out to you for everything you’ve been through already 💛 Thank you for opening up and sharing and being a place for others to feel welcome
Wow. Thank you so much for coming over to watch from tiktok. It has been so incredibly hard to navigate this but kindhearted people like you, supporting my journey and cheering me help me so much🤍thank you again for watching
he had no business being a school photographer….
Oy! I thought this to, right away.
too
Literally the worst job for someone addicted to porn….
@@nkyryryI feel like something might have happened…
@@nkyryryyes, but it's not a criminal offence. 80%of men and around 30/40% of women are watching porn on the thing you're holding in your hand and that number is increasing.
Lauren,
I just found your Instagram and saw your post bearing your soul about your divorce and journey to self love. While I haven’t dealt with things like this in my marriage, I have had a friendship which had some of these emotional abuse tactics used almost daily. So while I don’t know all of what you went through, I do know a glimpse. And I know God brought me out the other side. Keep going girlie.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”
Proverbs 31:25 NIV
You’re a beautiful soul. And I see the joy of Christ shining in you as you work your way through this tough journey. From one sister in Christ to another, I love you.
Your video helped me release so much pain. I’ve been separated since march 2023, but I’ve been holding back because it’s too painful to think about. I was also with him 7 years, lived with him for 5. I lost my job too, I feel so lost. Luckily I have my parents and friends and the Lord never abandons us. You are sooo strong for sharing your story, being vulnerable. You are really helping me. Thank you ❤God bless you ❤
Lauren, I’m blown away by your story. Your maturity and courage is so inspiring and I thank you for posting this! I recently just went through a divorce this past year and the similarities between my situation and yours are honestly insane. I was married for less than a year and my husband had the same struggles. I feel you so deeply and I have so much respect for you.
I was also 18 when I got married in 2021 and got divorced august 2022. He made me feel like I was wrong for having opinions different than his as it didn't align with the "home values" he shares w his family. The relationship became toxic as he wanted me to change only and to do whatever his parents said and listen to his brother's verbal abuse, including to not work, stop my education and have a baby asap; it was a joint family system. I'm so glad my entire family was supportive and I got out in time. I'm now studying, working a government job and hanging out w my friends. I miss having a partner but this is better crying everynight wondering why I was just so unhappy and heartbroken. Stay strong girls and guys
How didn't you know this was the kind of person he was before getting married. With the person in the video, it made sense cuz these were things that he kept hidden. But with stuff like his family and values, that doesn't make sense
Discovered your channel through ig today and listening to just the short I was fully invested to hear your story. And , my heart has been broken, and shifted in many ways watching your story, I feel so deeply for you and the women who have gone through this - you are loved and supported by so many of us hearing this.
Thank you for sharing but also allowing a space for others to speak and think on these things and just have a catharsis.
Keep speaking , keep being you and keep healing you are light for so many 💜
wow okay thank you so much for this. abuse doesn’t always have to be visible, and this really made me think about my own experiences with past relationships. i’m so glad i’m in a supportive and loving relationship that gives me motivation and love and life, and i would wish that with everyone. i love you lauren, you don’t know me but i love you and you are so strong for this. thank you eternally 💕
You are 1000% right. Abuse doesn’t always look like a black eye or busted lip. Sometimes it’s very quiet and invisible like you said. I appreciate you watching ♥️♥️
Lauren, thank you for telling us your divorce story. I'm feeling so many emotions at once after watching your video that I struggle to find the right words to express them. But if I can say the least -- stay encouraged to spread the word and talk about that which is usually overlooked when we talk about women's position in marriage. Thank you for including all the resources, studies, and links. I pray that the person who watches this finds the courage to listen to what their heart is telling them. The way you've told this story with grace gave me so much hope for healing in this world and I'm so genuinely happy to see you heal and learn to trust, love, respect, and value yourself. That picture in the white summer dress truly says a lot about what a beautiful, talented, creative, kindly smiling, valuable part of this world you are ❤And thanks to the most merciful Lord who's helped you see that in yourself at the right time and place. Sending hugs your way xx
Hi Ana. Thank you so so much for watching and hearing my story. Your words hold so much value to me and truly encourage me so much. I am so blessed to know you and call you my friend. Thank you for being so supportive and rooting for me
Young women need to understand that marriage can be used as a tool for entrapment in a relationship that is not meant for you. Truly take the time to consider what you gain from marrying a person before you do so! Strong feelings aren't enough without a strong foundation of support, honesty and stability. Like this story, many men will lie or sell a fantasy just to trap you; not all proposals or marriages are made equal!
Thank you so much for sharing this 😭 its comforting to know I'm not the only one it drove me crazy
You definitely are not alone ♥️
I was in a relationship that ended when I mentioned my ex’s pornography obsession. He tried to justify that with depression. I really thought he was the one, so it was really shocking for me. For the past two years I have felt so alone wondering if I was the problem for feeling insecure and uncomfortable with him watching those kinds of things. Your story really opened my eyes- I feel so relieved that I was definitely not the problem. Thank you for telling your story, and I’m praying for your continued healing ❤️
I know how hard this sharing must have been for you. Your raw honesty is refreshing but my heart breaks for all you have been through. So thankful that you have learned to lean on God for your strength and healing. I will pray for your continued healing. I love you sweet girl. You DO deserve to be treated well and cherished like the wonderful young lady you are. God has someone that is right for you - wait on God for him and pray for that person even before you know who it is!! You are special and you are loved!!❤
Thank you so much Nana! I love you and appreciate you praying over me always
You made a clean break. Feel the pain and sadness, but allow yourself to feel the relief too. You’re young and wiser now. 💐
Lauren, thank you for your faith and courage. I've had similar things happen in my marriage and this video was unbelievably helpful for me. I wish you all the joy and I know God will continue to bless you for your faith and kindness ❤
Thank you so much for watching and for sharing your story ♥️
Lauren, I am praying for you. I can identify with you after 52 years of marriage to someone like this. I was 19 and he was 24 when we married, but I realized 2 weeks after our wedding that I had made a terrible mistake. We had 3 children and it was not a good life for them, but God watched over us and gave me 8 grandchildren. I left him last year at the age of 71. God is so good! He will see you through this season of your life. Keep the faith!
Would you have wished that you left him before having children? I also married young and even before the marriage he made terrible mistakes. I can even think of exactly when we should've broken up before things got serious. We are married at 23 now and have known each other for 9 years, we have no children nor any joint assets. Im reaching my limit after all these years and wondering if now would he tye perfect time to end things before it's too late.
@@normalouis8593please leave as soon as you know you can't trust a man. I say this as a woman who got divorced after 32 years of marriage. Once they cannot be trusted, my experience is the problem never resolves.
Babe.. your story resonates so deeply with me as I had some eerily similar happen to me too. I began dating my ex (luckily we never married but we do have children) when I was 15 or 16 and went through the same patterns of lying, porn addiction and cheating. In the end he admitted to thinking he was a borderline sociopath. I was just a shell coming out of the relationship after 5 years. He cheated on me while I was pregnant. Everything was my fault because I was so “emotional”. It took YEARS and many hours of therapy to heal. And I truly believe I only made it because I had two kiddos to take care of. I had to prove that he couldn’t break me. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. I don’t think these types of people realize how deeply they’re breaking another persons soul and I’m not sure they care but please know there’s so many of us out here who do care. Please reach out if you ever want to chat. I’d love to talk.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. This must have been incredibly difficult to to go through but here you are. You made it and I’m so proud of you for going to therapy and healing through this!! Praying over you and your children!♥️
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I'm not Christian but wow did I feel emotional with your prayer at the end. Thank you for this, for sharing and talking and being brave, for showing that it's possible to exist on your own. I wish you so much love and peace xx
i think it’s a sign :))
its not on our own, its with Jesus ❤
Lauren you are SO STRONG like wow, I hope you know how much all of this made you grow and into who you are today. I wish you to find true love, but first love within yourself. Much love
I appreciate you saying this so much thank you 🫶🏼
Thanks for being so open and sharing 🙏🏻 I know that if I ended up getting married to my long term boyfriend when I was younger I would 100% ended up in divorce. So glad God got you out of that situation. Jeremiah 29:11 ❤
Thank you so much Sarah, this means so much to me. That verse is my lifeline!!!
Looked up this verse and went into tears reading it..very empowering 🙏🏼
You are so so brave for sharing this, thank you. I feel less alone hearing your story, though mine is different in many ways. When you said you realized you were worth more than the situation you were in I nearly started crying because I have felt the same way before. Also, when you shared that he said he didn't find you attractive my jaw literally dropped. You have such a delicate and feminine beauty and style, and a gracefulness about you that I envy- and I mean that wholeheartedly. I also teared up when you prayed for us. Thank you Lauren. Our God is truly the best mender of broken hearts and truly does reap joy from tears.
Lena, this touched me in ways I cannot explain. Thank you so so much for saying this. Wow, that is just so incredibly sweet and kind of you! Thank you for watching this and listening to my story. Jesus really is the Prince of Peace and i feel so much comfort knowing he will never leave our side!
It’s insane that I came across your insta account. I went through something very similar but I wasn’t married just living with him. I’m so grateful I got out of that situation… life is so much better. And you look like you are glowing! Thank you for sharing your story! ❤
Same
Saying this out of love. (❤) I also got married young (21) & have had many friends also marrying young (were all Christian) … it’s important BEFORE marriage, to take the time to get to know your significant other. Be honest & vulnerable. Participate in your local church together, join ministries, have leaders watch over your relationship. Talk about finances, morals, and what trauma you went through as children. Basically the idea is to protect yourself from getting hurt before making the big commitment. Marriage can bring out both the worst / best in people. But before marriage is the time to learn about a person … and marriage can be messy, it’s not always going to be perfect. May God will protect you & heal you.
and live together... even if its against your beliefs...you dont have to have sex...
I’m so sorry you had to go through this ordeal, and all these situations.
Love is supposed to be a beautiful life experience, where people care for each other & navigate life together.
I hope you find the strength over time, take care of yourself, heal from this & go on to love & life your life the way you want & deserve ✨ 🌻
This hit home. I was in a similar relationship from 2008-2016. I resonated so much with your story! God is going to send you the most amazing, loving, trustworthy man into your life one day. You walked in obedience and you are helping so many women by posting a video like this. When I was going through it, I felt alone. I couldn’t think for myself, I couldn’t do the most mundane things without him and I had to start my life completely over as a woman and mom. Sending love and hugs! God bless you girl ❤
I am sorry to hear you have had to go through something similar but I am so glad this video resonated with you
The porn industry has really tried to market it as “normal” and ”healthy” to watch porn. Girls are made to feel like we’re so cool if we’re okay with our man watching porn, which is messed up on so many levels. But more and more studies are coming out about how damaging porn is on relationships. It leads to unfulfilled intimacy issues, insecurities, unrealistic expectations, etc
Porn and it’s effects on relationships for women is not spoken about enough. If you start to say anything as a woman you’re branded “controlling”
women watch porn too
Yeah, also porn 95% of the time is unrealistic and objectifies women (even in lesbian porn)
Totally agree. Also some women struggle with porn usage too. Maybe it’s not as common but definitely a thing.
You had so much compassion for an addict who didn't want to help themself, you deserve someone who appreciates your love
You are very sweet thank you for watching
@@LaurenJuarez thank you for sharing your story❣️ you're so graceful & have beautiful aesthetics
Thank you for the prayer
Lauren, you shared with such grace. It was never supposed to be this way, but I know God is using you to be a light to others who are going through similar situations. You are brave, resilient, kind, and beautiful inside and out. I love you pal🤍
Thank you so much for watching this Brynne and for being here for me for so long. You truly are a friend that I feel so grateful to have in my life. You are a part of my healing journey and I couldn't be more grateful for that!
i know that some people will not be happy with what im about to say but as someone who was in a relationship with a non-believer, you have to marry someone in the faith. You have to have the same faith, values, and morals. Its the only way a marriage can work. Sending prayers for healing 💗
Thanks for sharing this, Lauren. I can’t even imagine how hard and painful was pass through this relationship. I got so emotional when you talked about deserving someone better because I had a similar situation with my ex boyfriend, I accepted a lot of things that wasn’t good for me, I exceeded all my limits and values just to not lose him, until it got to the point where I lost myself.
That's when I went back to church and I felt in my heart that he wasn't for me and that God is separating someone better for my life, so I broke up with him. But it’s still difficult because we are in the senior year of high school and have to see each other every day, but I know that I’m not alone, God is with me, such as he is with you.
So thank you for your vulnerability in sharing this online, I appreciate how strong and brave you are.
I hope that God continues to bless your life and always believe in his plans, even if you don't understand them now.
P.S. sorry if the grammar is wrong, I'm brazilian 🇧🇷 and please keep making videos here for youtube! I will love to see them ❤️
Wow Fernanda. This touched me. Thank you so much for sharing a part of your story here. I know that me as well as others will be really encouraged by what you said. I am so glad you also know Jesus and know that he will always be with us in times of trouble and throughout our everyday. Thank you again, for watching and for sharing this.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. I’m the same age as you and I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that kind of stress. When you talked about worrying about doing things alone and for yourself I actually cried because that isn’t something you should have to worry about at 20/21 years old. I can see you’re in a better place than you once were but I hope God continues to heal your spirit and heart.
I don't know how I reached to this video but it's unbelievable how such a beautiful and intelligent girl has gone through such bad experience.. 😔
Thank you so much for saying that and validating how I feel. It’s been hard but Jesus can heal all wounds!!♥️
Getting together at 23 and married at 38 is one thing. But, married at 18 I can't even imagine.
First, I am so sorry you suffered this way -- and for so long. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others! One lesson for all viewing this is to walk away with the first major event. Your time is precious -- valuable; don't waste it on fools. "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time" -- MayaAngelou.
I'm so sorry Lauren. Your strength is inspirational and I know you'll continue to be a beacon of light in this world. I'm proud of your courage through this process. God #1 and yourself #2 know more about yourself than anyone else. I wish you the best that this life has to offer and God bless you and your family
Hi Ethan, it's so good to hear from you! Thank you for watching this and for listening to my story. You say the beginning and from an outside perspective, hearing what was really happening myst be strange in some ways. I appreciate you listening and saying this!
So relieved to see you have the support you needed. You dodged a bullet and you deserve so much more. Im so glad you got out in time. Porn addiction is a cancer. I’m 40, divorced from a porn addict who blamed me for his addiction, told me I was not “enough” for him and turned abusive the last 4 years before I got to out but it was too late by then. I learned that he exposed my son to porn who then went on to abuse his little brothers. My son is in state custody and my two younger boys are forever traumatized. Porn is not benign.
This is somehow validating my feelings about my first marriage when I was 21. It’s been 25 years and I never really talked about it openly. He really let me down too and I struggled before leaving. I ran into him last year and he tried to convince me to stay in his hotel room even though we are both remarried 😮(I declined of course). A leopard doesn’t change its spots.
I’m really proud of you for leaving and knowing that you deserve to be happy and don’t have to put up with his ridiculous behavior. 👏
I’m 22 and just broke off my engagement to a man I thought was quiet, innocent and kind. We were waiting til marriage to have sex (thank God!) so I was able to see things clearly. In truth, he seemed distant and something was off. I followed my gut and am so relieved we aren’t getting married! ❤ Trust your gut. Sex and marriage won’t fix your problems. Thank you for sharing!
im sorry you went through this, and legally this must have been a nightmare. i am also religious and only planned on living with someone else married but ever since ive entered law school ive realized how bad of an idea this is. its not even about you guys being young, a 30 yo man could have lied about the same things to you and most of the time you only find this stuff out when you live together. i hope just the best to you❤ you deserve much better and im glad you realized it
I really really appreciate you saying this thank you ♥️
Yes! My family law professor really opened my eyes to the realities of living together and marriage. It’s completely changed how I plan to do things.
@@xoyouaremysunshinexo same!!! I used to be such a traditional when it comes to marriage but after a couple classes and studying a couple cases i realized how people can straight up lie to you and the how complex the law side of things can get and you can loose sooo much if things go south. in divorce so much can go wrong. It's crazy.
thank you so much for sharing your story. i stumbled across your instagram page through reels, and as a christian who is getting engaged really soon (he just asked my dad!!) and will be 19 or 20 when we do get married, i was curious as to what happened. thank you for sharing and giving me more confidence in my future husband, and i am so sorry that this was your experience. i pray you can find a man who loves and honors God with his whole heart.
The amount of mental gymnastics that people do before getting out of a situation is incredible
And then share it. So cringe
As soon as he was flirting with others during their high school relationship and was a porn user should have been enough to end things. The fact that he was an unbeliever when they started dating and her Christian parents did not intervene speaks a thousand words. Marrying at such a young age and in such a rushed way after the history of bad behaviour and broken trust is sad- young girls need to stand up for themselves and parents need to raise girls to be wise and discerning when choosing a husband. Teenagers are not ready for marriage.
@@lelaninelson7200 it’s not that teenagers aren’t “ready”. It’s that society/community, family is not Ready to be a law abiding demanding organized disciplined religious community that protects their own with ferocity and the community & State BACKS THEM UP. That’s what isn’t ready.
Two young kids thrust out Alone into a hedonist lawless Atomized wilderness? A Fool’s errand. Demise awaits them. This modernity experiment has failed over And over again.
If we don’t stop it, there will be nothing left.
@@lelaninelson7200all of society gaslights us and tells us it’s “normal”, we’re crazy, and everyone does it. Then we watch all our friends in relationships deal with the same or worse. Porn addicts tend to overcompensate being amazing in areas many men are not- the father of my child
Pursued me more than any other man. He carried the mental load, he did housework, he took me on dates, let me be a SAHM, bragged about me to friends and family, got me flowers on the reg, was into all of my hobbies… it’s hard to learn that most women have men who also lust but don’t do any of those other things so…. Don’t act like it’s so black and white
I relate to this SO much. Currently going through a divorce due to my STBX porn addiction and being lied to/manipulated for 4 years. Fell sooo ill from everything, ending up seeing 5 different specialists during that time.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am praying for peace and continued healing for you. 💙
I appreciate you so much
I can’t believe you put up with that much before you finally called it quits . Good for you , you deserve better for yourself ❤
Now is the time to begin learning who you are and learning to be comfortable with being by yourself, because it sounds like one of the reasons you continued to stay was because you were afraid of being alone, which is extremely sad. When you're alone, you learn more about who you are, your likes and dislikes, your boundaries and you learn how to do things yourself. It's important to spend your early years working on yourself and your spirituality. Then once you feel comfortable within yourself, you will be able to welcome someone in your life who will respect you and love you in the purest way.
Thank you for saying this and for watching ♥️
I have a similar situation to you but I'm contemplating divorce. Ive know him since we were 14, married at 20 and we're now 23. There have been multiple problems and I even know exactly when we should've broken up before things got out of hand. At the moment the main problem is that he avoids going to college and driving, a few months ago, him getting a job was a huge problem too. I'm keeping a journal to analyze the situation so that I can learn from this and make an informed decision.
Unfortunately some of us go through these experiences and have to learn from it. But, this gives us the chance to make more informed choices. I cannot express how happy I am to know your story, I cant talk to my family or friends about this issue and even though this is a video and not a conversation there is so much insight you have. I'm sorry you had to go through this, I dont wish it on anyone. Im also a Christian and your prayer at the end really touched my heart ❤️
I’m not religious, but I see so many patrolled between your story and my most significant relationship in my twenties. Always fighting to fix their mistakes. Always forgiving the unforgivable. Always bracing yourself for the next crazy thing they do. Even without marriage many people stay in abusive relationships and try to fix things. You are not alone. So lovely to hear your story.
what a friend we have in Jesus!! Thank you for sharing, here’s to new beginnings🤍
Absolutely!!! Thank you for watching ♥️
I just want to give you a big hug!!!
I’m sorry you went through this.
I want to give YOU the biggest hug! Thank you for watching ♥️
Hey Lauren, wow you are so brave. Porn is such a huge problem today, and it’s not talked about enough. I don’t know a single girl who it hasn’t touched in some way, and I have some pretty deep scars from it. You’re not alone. We are navigating a really challenging digital world and I gotta say I’ve wished so many times that the internet didn’t exist just because of how much pain porn causes. My heart goes out to you 😔 you’re in my prayers ❤️
Hi Caitlin I appreciate this so much thank you! 🤍
A song that really helped me through some really dark moments was “After Dark” by Tori Harper. Maybe give it a listen :)
It's sad everyone wants to be a whore and become a porn Star. The days of a good women wanting to be nice are gone. This is the world we live.
Thank you for this video. I was feeling lost and frustrated at who I was and what my life had amounted to but at the end of the video, I felt at peace, loved, and encouraged. God is good.
It also brought a friend to mind who is also struggling with trauma from a previous toxic relationship. I want to be there for her, and this video was really helpful. I’m grateful.
Sending love and prayers. Your courage and strength is inspiring.
Dear Lauren am happy for you getting out of abuse marriage is bravery , I’m going through divorce too I was in abuse marriage physical abuse and mental abuse I didn’t sleep well I didn’t eat well I had to sleep in hospital for a while because of the abuse, thank you for sharing your story
I cannot imagine the trauma you are facing. That is horrible and no human deserves that kind of treatment. I hope you are safe now. I also pray you can find the right therapist to help you process this trauma ♥️
Thanks so much for sharing your story. I got divorced three years ago. Very toxic went through emotional abuse among other things. Never saw red flags due to how young. Romans 8:28 I an currently studying to become a therapist now. Thanks for your reminder we are not alone
Hi Melissa! Thank you so much for listening to my story and sharing some of yours. That must have been incredibly hard to go through and I am so proud of you for coming out on the other side. I don't know if I have ever read that verse but I so needed to read that, thank you Melissa! I appreciate you so much!
I am so unbelievably proud of you
Thank you so much Kristiana!
Lauren, I am so proud of you. Not only have you had to go through such a difficult time, but you had the strength to share it with us. This is such a vulnerable topic/situation and it seems you have handled it so gracefully. You also have helped me see some of the similar issues I have seen within my own relationship. Ones that I have been trying to ignore. So, thank you! I also feel the need to remind you that, God works his hardest in our most darkest times. He is working so hard in your life right now, and though some days may be tougher than others He is ALWAYS by your side. I’m praying for healing for you and anyone else going through something similar.
Were you guys practicing celibacy prior to the unification?
Sometimes the desires of our flesh, can lead us to seeing past things, when we wouldn’t otherwise.
QUICK VENT:
I got engaged a few days ago, and despite being super overwhelmed with joy, something kept tugging at me ever since the engagement, and I had to let my now fiancé know that I am not ready for marriage yet.
And although it was a tough convo to have, I feel that him and I both have a lot of growing to do, and I would also like to have more for myself before becoming one with him.
I will say though, that us choosing to start and remain consistent within our celibacy journey, helped a lot in being able to have that (more like “those” cause there were a few convos had) conversation.
I feel like I need to take things slower, because I feel like only time will tell if he’s the right man for me.
Hoping that he is, but I don’t want to control the situation or anything. I’m literally just gonna focus on school and let God do what God does best lmao.
BACK TO YOU:
You are a warrior though and you know what they say, “humans make plans and God laughs. “
See what you can take from this season and see the areas in which this situation has provided you an outlet to grow.
Even in a healthy relationship, God needs to remain the main focus, otherwise it can all easily fall apart. And it’s so much easier said than done.
That’s one of those, I need to practice what I’m preaching moments haha.
Praying for you healing ❤
Thank you for sharing your story.
I stayed in a relationship for 26 years, my relationship in many ways a mirror of what you describe. Its been just a few months since my husband left, and in the beginning I felt abandoned even though I'd been treated so terribly, but now through the grace of God and friends, with distance I'm seeing the darkness I lived in from pressure to lies and coercion and shaming for 'not doing enough' to make him happy.
I know I was unhappy for years, and I hurt, but the enormity of it is more clear now. I realize my prayers to God were answered with him removing this man from my life.
I've had a great deal of sadness that I feel like I lost the prime years of my life and now in my mid 50's I'll be alone, but I realize alone and happy and content is better than living with abuse and misery. And.... I have God. I'm closer to God now and I feel less stress and fear of uncertainty than I did eing with my husband and unsure of his actions and intentions. He used and abused me and my reactions over time created anger and bitterness and an even more toxic situation. I'm now trying to heal, and have a long road but know I'm going to be ok, where before I feared what each day could bring.
This is something people don't talk about. Or, as my ex husband would tell me.... why can't you be a cool wife, guys do porn. No, real guys who love themselves, their God and their wife/family do NOT do Porn and shame their wife into being ok with it. The things that were pressured on me made me pull away over time and not be able to connect with him. I felt betrayed, and dirty.
Thank you again for sharing your story.
To have dreams collapse at such a young age is tough. Keep the faith.
Thank you for sharing your story. Here’s a recap of mine so hopefully you can relate.
I was married at 22 and divorced at 28. Not including marriage, we were together for over 7 years. He was my everything. We were the best of friends. But one day he came forward and told me about his porn addiction. It was something he’d been struggling with since before we were even together. He hid all of it from me. I saw red flags, but like you, I brushed them off. It crushed me, but I was willing to work through it. But unfortunately there was more. He then felt the need to completely come forward. He told me about girls, lies, deception and manipulation through the years. It was completely horrifying. At the same time he didn’t want me telling anybody about our issues. So I remained silent (which was the worst thing I could have done). I was miserable for months until my breaking point. Once I finally reached out and started talking to friends and family, I realized I wasn’t crazy, though my husband at the time made me feel that way. Thankfully it was an amicable divorce. And GIRL! Changing your last name again is the worst! Anyway, it’s been 6 months and I’m starting to feel more independent and healing more each day. I hope you focus on yourself and start healing as well. ❤️
Lauren, thank you so so much for sharing your story. My heart breaks for you ♥️ You are so strong and such an inspiration. Your testimony that God was by your side through all of this, has been such a comfort for me, as my relationship with God has been rocky. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all the best as you go towards the wonderful life that awaits you
Hi Emma! Thank you for watching and I am so glad that this was able to encourage you and bless you in some way! Please remember Jesus is always here with us and just wants to hear from us. He is a father and a friend and loves you so much!
Thank you for sharing your story.
This has nothing to do with being young as some are suggesting in the comments. Sex addiction affects all ages. It's hard to lose your husband, friend, and lover all at the same time. I'm glad you got out.
I learned 9 months into my marriage that my husband had a sex/porn addiction. I was 34 years old. He had been rejecting me sexually and I didn't understand.
I, too, got sick and have had many physical symptoms due to stress.
God is my peace and comfort and hope for the future. Blessings🙏❤
I'm so proud of you for getting through this!! That is unbelievably hard to go through this with the person you thought you would grow old with and I will always be in awe of how amazing you are and how far you have gotten
You are so so strong and brave Lauren. My heart breaks for you. But truly thank you so much for sharing. You’ve actually taught me a few things about a current situation I am going through in a relationship. So just thank you.
Lord, I pray for full restoration and healing over Laurens life. I pray that her faith continues to grow. I pray you give her peace. I pray that you heal her of any health issues she has come to struggle with in Jesus name. God keep Lauren wrapped in Your arms. That she never forgets she is a LITERAL princess! She is Your daughter. The daughter of the King. She deserves a life full of true genuine love and happiness, nothing less. Amen❤️
Hi Caroline! Thank you so much for listening to my story. it definitely was a lot to go through but I know Jesus will use this story to help others which is just what he does best!!
That prayer means more to me than you know. I don't know if I have had anyone pray for FULL healing for me and that is what I need after all of this. Thank you so so much
Kids. Don’t get married at 18. Awful idea.
your story hits home that it was really hard to watch because a lot of the things that happened to you all the way up to the inadequate and transactional part out of fear. I felt so clueless on what to do most part of that relationship, confused on if this was something normal to deal with as a partner or if I was doing something wrong. It was years ago but now 8-9 years later I can say that we both were young and I dont even think he realized what he was doing to me or how this was affecting me. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, its hard to 100% know who your partner really is sometimes with all the technology, socials, and personal lives ppl have on their devices. Thank you for sharing your story.
Gurl you’re absolutely gorgeous, it’s his loss. I pray you find someone who will treat you right 🩷🩷🩷