Fetishes, Gender Roles, Monogamy (ENGLISH responses)

The Narcissist's Psychosexuality: From Fantasy to Deviance and Beyond (ENGLISH responses) - Part 17 of 22
QUESTION (translated from Hungarian)
21. I will ask you about pedophilia later in this series of interviews, Sam. But now, let’s continue with fetishes that are typical of narcissists. As a BDSM coach I have met several narcissistic or psychopathic clients who derive sexual pleasure from wearing tight clothing. For example: latex, rubber, leather, ski overalls etc. Some of them additionally need to be hung up and float in the air in a stress position. Once I witnessed a session when I saw a man on stage. His body was fully covered in a latex overall, which was so tight that it took about 3 hours to put on, and he was hanging on a hoist above a table. I could see his body relax as he finally experienced ejaculation. My thought on this was that it was like going back to his mother’s womb. It was that kind of levitation that he simulated in this performance. Did I get it wrong? Or is that possible? What do you think, what can be behind this phenomenon?
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[@ralphfurley4217]

Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power. - Oscar Wilde

[@mrplayz6328]

Being a survivor of physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse. Working intensely with victims of similar abuse, directly and indirectly. A mother who had a similar history. A mother of one son who was a victim to his bio dad. Who then victimized another at a young age and again at an age or nearly an adult. That victim has no memory of it. It was never a subject, not hidden or hush hush, but not forcefully pulled out or shoved into her psyche making her mind open to a incident that was (my opinion) not ‘traumatic’ so to speak. She was never forcefully shamed by the incident, or witnessed myself expressing my thoughts, feelings and shame for it. (Having a hard time explaining this). Yes she was safe from the perpetrator in every sense. Why has she never acted as a perpetrator such as everyone else who has been a victim has, to one extent or another? Was it because the feelings of shame, disgust, taboo was not shown by me which she in turn would see and feel this and think that she is why I have the reaction of shame, disgust and taboo? Which opens doors in your heart and soul that cannot be closed? She didn’t feel bad, or gross ? She had never victimized, never spoke of, feared, or recalled the incident. The person that did this to her was the same age when he was victimized by his bio dad and was that same age the last time he saw him. Once I confronted him after a incident when he was 3. Inicemtoy explaining what happened. Confronting the bio dad, she was shamed by him, blamed, and then never saw him again. All of that shame, disgust, and taboo talk, feelings and actions of the adults around him might have been what ultimately caused him to be a perp to? It’s hard for me to explain. I just think the shame, fear, taboo that a child feels from others and by others might be more traumatic then ‘SOME’ of the incidents of ‘sexual’ incidents by persons who are not of a ch8lds age. The brain is the biggest sex organ,?

[@strela1]

I would like to know what the incidence of fetishism is in individuals that have experienced the abandonment depression at ages 16-26 months during the rapprochement subphase of the individuation separation stage, when they suffered an psychological arrest of their development... Since fetishists are reductionists and only part-body-oriented, how much has it got to do with fear of abandonment kicking in? As the child senses mother will suppress her libidinal
involvement and care and loving the child if he keeps showing signs of individuation thus triggering enormous abandonment anxiety on her, the child's real self shuts down and a skewed false self emerges with its own impaired reality perception subsequently generating the leitmotiff upon which sexuality of the person will function this way... This is so many times seen on the Borderline patients since Borderlines have fragmented personalities and they cannot see their coveted sex objects as a "whole person" because the whole person may abandon him - but as part-objects - just as they themselves are. To love or to have intercourse with a whole person, this brings extreme anxiety and unbearable fears of annihilation and tons of shame to the surface as the Borderlines listen to a never-ending loop tape in their heads with the voice of their primary caretaker scolding them for not being whole. And that's not a nice place to be in. Anyways this is fascinating stuff, and Sam Vaknin's narrative is mind-blowing. Cheers.

[@viktoriyarts]

haha aroused by "toilet paper", especially during pandemic ;)