How Porn Destroyed Sex (and Narcissism, of course) (ENGLISH responses)
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- Опубликовано: 8 мар 2020
- The Narcissist's Psychosexuality: From Fantasy to Deviance and Beyond (ENGLISH responses) - Part 6 of 22
QUESTION (translated from Hungarian)
6. Based on my experience as a narcissist-coach, porn addiction and masturbation is typical of a high percentage of narcissists, even though most of them can mask it pretty good. Oftentimes, the wife or partner does not notice anything. She just experiences that the narcissist has premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. As a coach I learned about porn addiction that watching porn and masturbating on an ongoing basis keep testosterone levels constantly high, which causes hair loss or weakening of hair in the long run. And erectile dysfunction is often the result of intense manual stimulation by regular quick masturbation, as it is a completely different kind of stimulus than a sexual intercourse in a real vagina. And that’s why narcissists often lose their erection with their partners. And this failure leads to a vicious cycle because of the shame. What’s your view on this, Sam? Are porn addiction and masturbation actually related to sexual dysfunctions in this way?
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Our society as a whole has disintegrated. It’s a sad world that we live in. It’s not going to get better. People have become less human. This stuff makes me sad to hear.
Yes this makes sense when I found out about the porn addiction I felt I was not needed used up I had nothing left to give to him
such a sad world, I feel so sorry for my mid 20s kids facing this loveless world. coming from the 60's im a love child 1000 percent and I live a sexless,loveless marriage to a narcissist to my new discovery from sam, and got divorce papers now, even though I love, it becomes a life or death survival and can only hope that one day before I die I can feel some kind of love that I know did exist. with porn taking over...I'm not so convinced it will happen...porn should be made a crime,illegal...the love destroyer
I agree. It's a big problem.
I am very sorry about what you've had to deal with.
I wish you all the best on your next course in life.
The love destroyer.. you are right!
So true..I think things..you say them..thanks for articulating
Yes and no, he's forgetting bout the "build up", men need that too, not as MUCH as females but we need it to reach our max level, we like to anticipate (chase/teased) as well, the build up is the MOST IMPORTANT part of the release ....
Thing is, they don't seem to realize they want it or that it's helpful to them. They've just got their sights set on the final part and will do anything to skip ahead to the final part. They're either too impatient or never realized there could be more. I'm not sure, but the impatience and lack of interest in anything other than the end is definitely there. And it's still easier for them to get there without toys or other forced stimulation than it is for a woman. Yeah, it ends up being a very sad ending for the man (and the woman if she gets there at all), but he either doesn't realize there's something better or doesn't care to put the work in to get something better.
I think about this at LEAST 3x a week, and folks are acting like its not happening and/or what COMES AFTERWARDS !!! Nigga its a wrap !!!
I totally agree with you Dr. Sam.
@Sam Vaknin @SamVaknin What would you suggest? What can women do? Following Feminism’s teachings isn’t going to do justice to our health because we do need men. Nor do I want to dress like porn stars. How do I not compete with real life women and women in porn stars to get a particular man’s attention that I might be into? How do we as women get out this cycle of competing for men when women like me didn’t sign up for this bs?
It's not worth it to get that kind of man's attention. He'll just use you and you'll regret getting in that situation. Better to see if there's a way to find a decent guy who still functions normally due to not watching porn.
I can understand the argument that men no longer need women. But the other way should also be true as well?
Since women are now able to support themselves, and women can get intimacy and friendship from other women, what do women need men explicitly for?
(Aside from procreation- but that need works both ways, so I am assuming this need is ignored.)
Could you share the name of the study you refer to about lack of contact between men and women? Thank you.
Marnia Robinson,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist….
Does stopping watching porn reverse the damage caused to the males brain?
Update: Apr '23
It's been two years since this comment and since then I've tried to give up porn. I've had a 10+ month streak without porn. Then relapsed for two months and now I'm off it again. The difference is noticable in the long term. I feel healthier mentally mostly.
Well, it worked for me
Males? I see the same in many females as well. Stop the sexism. Stop the misandry.
@@asamiyashin444, it's more common and better researched in males. Besides it's a male asking.
@@seriouscat2231 Nowadays, in the internet era, there is porn for every type of person, even straight females and lesbian females. Today talking about males only when talking about porn consumers is wrong.
@@asamiyashin444, well you see, he wasn't talking about males in general. He was talking about himself. "How dare you be so selfish! You're not the only porn consumer in this world."
Forgive me, and I may sound like a sociopath, but is it necessarily a bad thing? For the sake of argument: 1) No more overpopulation. 2) some of the most unhealthy relationships exist for sex. These same people procreate, raise children in unhealthy environments with skewed priorities. Remove this, and now children are born into families where they can be raised in a nurturing family.
@@432hzjamz9, rape statistics are also effected by shifting definitions of rape and certain groups of people being overrepresented in those numbers.
I don't understand the final part. What is the really terrifying thing that is happening?
That we are removing our need for personal connections to satisfy sex drives?
That humans aren't having sex and procreating?
It seems to me, that as long as humans still treat other humans with respect, it doesn't matter if we form typical couples. (eg. as long as we can avoid de-humanization of other people that may result in decreased empathy. In which case, the worst outcome would be something like genocide. But this "terrible" thing referenced is worse than genocide?)
As for the procreating, I just don't see the importance of ensuring the human race continues. Like, it's fine if it does. But it's not intrinsically good that it does. I think it is important that we provide the best environment for future lives (should they exist). But ensuring that things come into existence is a neutral endeavor. Things that don't exist can have no desire to exist.
Thing is, as a woman, I can tell you people don't treat each other with respect. At least men don't respect women. Men might not be aware of this because they're the ones disrespecting, not getting disrespected. And I'm not even talking about dating a guy. Many guys will do anything to try to trick you or coerce you into a forced situation, under the guise of "friendship" or of "caring about you". There is no empathy out there. Even if you are dating, it turns into a dominance game where they try to put you down or make you weaker.
The only manner of crrecting this is harsh discipline from goverment to society, but has to be a morally valid goverment. Sometimes i have the sensation that calvinist and jansenist were right..
How true.... Me 8 years now no contact at all and still have no interest. I think men have become disgusting. They all want to do is control but their control is bossy. like I own you.
When humanity decided to let go of religion as a way of life and self worshipped...