How to be less judgmental
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- Опубликовано: 1 авг 2024
- Welcome to my home office! This week's video is all about the idea that the universe is a big place, and since we all still have a lot to learn, it's probably wise for us to be both less certain about what we "know," and significantly less judgmental of others for being where they are.
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#MuchPeace 
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We often judge others by their actions, but ourselves by our intentions.
100% I talk about that in several of my videos. I completely agree with you. That's just so true! Sending you all the best and much peace!
That simple comment has gave me a different perspective. I have a hard time getting over other people's past but not mine so much. This explains why.
Wow. That was deep. Thank you.
Deidre B ❤️❤️❤️
That one is going up on my quote wall
If you're here I'm proud of you! You are growing as a person. Thank yourself that you are here!
Awesome! 100%! Sending you much peace!
"The more curious we are, the more humble we can be, the more humble we are, the less judgemental we are of others" Well said my man 👍
And the less miserable we'll be with and without the presence of others, even if we have learned that others are the source of our misery. It may be important to question our righteousness- especially if believing lies that are toxic or grandiose about ourselves or the world are coming from us- our own personality that we have fed and constructed- and causing us to give up on the opportunities to experience the full gift of our life. If feeling happier is a lie, it may be beneficial to have a filter and choose which lies to believe, because maybe all is true. "Mess around and find out!"
I'm judging the world and it sounds like "this video gets a few thousand views while junk content gets millions." But the truth is I myself watch junk videos far more than content like this. I just started watching this channel a few days ago and it has already helped me become more peaceful and less critical of myself and others. Thank you.
Lol. Thanks so much brother. l guess my thinking is that it will reach whomever it's supposed to reach. Ultimately, people seem to only be able to take in whatever information they're actually ready to hear, anyway, so my hope is that more people will eventually be open to seeing this (and similar videos). I appreciate you taking time to watch this and saying kind words. Sending you all my best and tons of peace!
@@DrChristianConte Absolutely! I just hope other people in need of emotional management come across your channel. But will definitely share it with anyone that appears to want some masterful life coaching. I will be ordering the workbook soon on Amazon. I really appreciate you and putting your work out there.
isn't it judgmental to label some content as junk? also you are criticizing the people for watching the content you deem junk?
p.s: I came here to get rid of these kind of judgements but it is what it is.
@@MuhammadUsman-gk9gt obviously he is aware of that and was pointing it out but your so quick to find fault you didn’t notice.
@@guslulou8428 i did notice bro, that's why i said it is what it is, can't really help it 😂
Shout out to everyone trying to better themselves everyday
All my life I have been told I was Judgemental and Critical! I ignored this all my life, until I recently paid attention what people were saying! I so need to change to be the loving, kind person I should be.
I am trying my best to be less judgemental. I am the worst. So true I have to learn about Humility big time and to let go of the past.
May dear freind only our heavenly father can Help US fully humble since i May self realised when i sad trying to do by muy self but se needs prayer also because he himself Is Love who counqers all evil With it becsuse of our sinfull nature he senda His son un erath un human form to Save US on the cross trough Hus Blood he chaged TT hings but se still can sin every Time when de choose go againts Love that's why web hace 10 commandmets but from all od IT its spreaded as Two love yours Brother sister as yours self Golden law do what you whould expect to others how you whould BE treated May Lord bless You Amen
Sadly my life has been hard. I'm 13 and have anxiety panic attacks stress and being judgemental. I never say to people that there bad but I always think. I want to move to Japan when I'm 21 but I'm still learning and researching I just want to say that I'm not perfect and I am getting help but if anyone sees this here this. If you live in a nice house be great full if you have friends be happy and most of all never give up on you dreams even if life throws things your way throw back !!!
Keep your head up lil homie
It’s all in you’re mind
Free yourself
It’s been 3 years, how are you now? Have you reached 16yrs yet? Started saving up to your Japan move?
Did it get better?
Thank you ... Message I heard was "life is a classroom" and I don't have to be the teacher all the time. It's so true for me that I can say "thank you" when I hear something I already know .... humbleness works for me. I liked this video and will watch more.
Thank you! Sending you much peace!
Thankyou for continuing to share your knowledge. I have always struggled with being judgmental towards those who i perceived to have personally insulted me. This is a very good topic and had a good delivery.
Thanks brother! I'm guessing I'll probably talk a lot more about judgment in future videos, because I really believe that ultimately, we all have to keep coming back to looking in-depth at ourselves and our own lives rather than judging others. Really appreciate your continued support my man. Much peace!
I always think they deserve to be judged by people who they hurt. If I hurt someone, I wouldn’t expect them to not judge me , I would expect them to gossip about me.😌😌
I just got out of a relationship because of my own issues that i couldn’t resolve, and your videos have taught me a lot on how to better myself and deal with all of the things that are troubling me. Thank you
Home Run right here, Be More Curious in life. Humble and Interested is a lovely path.
If I'm being honest, I realize I sometimes expend a lot of energy in a judgmental space. And so I'm reminded of this quote whose author is unknown; "Acceptance frees you from judgment, and when you're free from judgment you're freer than you could ever imagine." Great clip, Dr. Conte. Thank you.
Thank you so much brother. What's awesome is your awareness around that and your humility to say it out loud. You are certainly not alone. We are all right there with you. I really appreciate your comments. Sending you tons of peace my man!
I still watch this every once in a while when I need a reminder to push the judgment thoughts out of my head. Thanks for your wisdom!
In the UK, people are too judgemental, and they put people in some categories and everyone that does something un usual as mentally ill. Have you ever tried to sing silently when walking? One man approached me and asked a barrage of questions: 1) do you know where you are going? 2) Do you have a job 3) Do you miss home? My God! SOmeone who is missing home would not be humming, whistling, or singing, but would be crying. Probably they thought I was talking alone and mental. People are so miserable
So it's not only me that thinks this? I live in London. I think I am judgemental as a result of feeling judged however this isn't benefiting anyone so I want to be less judgemental.
I'm here cause I've warped the meaning of my past struggles into thinking, because I survived things I shouldn't have, I'm better than others. 😢
Thanks for the input.
Thanks again for this brilliant video.
Much peace!
Love this
We all need this👸💯❤
Another video with excellent encouragement. Thanks Doc!
Brilliant
Thank you Chris for this. Beautiful insight
Thank you for adding such value
Very helpful-thank you!
So true listen and learn before you speak about another person .! Thank you
You're very right because for example I have caused a lot of people pain but when people causing me pain.i make a song and dance about it and forget about the pain I've caused which is equally if not worse than the pain caused to me
I love the comment about other people being deep & mysterious also. I think that’s a great thing to remember.
Man I’m so glad I found you, all your videos really tell me what I need to hear on the bad days when I’m stuck in my head, thanks doc❤️
thank you so much for this eye opening video!!
Really eye opening
This is what I always say never judge a person by the book get to know the person but once you get to know the person to still do not judge them if you do not want to be judged by other people you don't do it to others
Good 💡 idea, I hate judgement!
I love your positive attitude. Thank you for sharing your insight to try to help people deal with their pain. You give me hope.
Thank you Conte, what you said is really helping me. One more thing, your book self is what I trade my life for.
Jesus Christ! Every single video of yours hit my soul. Thank you again.
Great thoughts, Christian! Thank you very much for sharing. Need to watch your videos again and again.
Thank you so much!
Another excellent presentation...
Omg. Thanks Dr Christian for this I needed to hear this.
Great video. Thank you
This was extremely helpful. Thank you.
Great video doc. 😘
Wow im so glad i looked this up time to take a deep look at myself
He blew my mind 🤯
Thank you I started journaling to this video it was informative thank you!
Thanks for this video, definitely helped to open my eyes
This is life changing :) THANK YOU! I need to share your videos, I know so many people that will benefit from this. Peace
Thank you so much! I put my heart and soul into what I do, so I sincerely appreciate your kind words and that you would take the time to share my videos. Sending you all my best and much peace!
Thank you for this content.
Thank you for your kind words.
Great stuff Dr. Conte!! You're helping me a lot 🙏
Yes, humility can teach us things that knowledge or education can not!
I'm at a place in my life where I'm committed to showing myself to myself fully and observing without judgment. This video helped. Thank you
eye opener
Thanks bro
Thank you!! I'm so judgemental definitely of myself and its robbing me alot of happiness
There is a difference between being judgement and discernment. Discernment is knowing the difference between right and wrong and acting accordingly. Being judgement means being hypercritical of what someone says, does, or think. its a form of condemnation. and it dehumanizes the person and treats the person less. Hihgly judgmental people are unable to see the positive qualities of people and only point out and reinforce their imperfection. iti a form of hate. And no its not natural its a learned behavior and a very evil practice.
I'd love to know more about this, thank you
Thank you for your videos. I havent been on them for a bit because of great pain caused by a partner from the past. Thank you
This video is power
Appreciate you! Sending you much peace!
Changeability thumbs up Doc
Beautiful insight. I used to always get so angry and stressed out at the way others treat me
But I myself has treated others bad in the past. So I have no right to over react because I myself am not perfect.
Same
I just found your channel yesterday and just wanted to say thank you! I have felt so much anger and resentment against my partner to the point that I’m making myself ill. Yesterday I found your “how to let go” video which helped alot but this one put things into perspective too. I didn’t realize I was judging him too. Can you do a video explaining the difference between letting go vs letting someone continue to hurt u? Like when is it ok to stand your ground and ask for a change?
Yes that is Right
if i could wish for one thing and one thing only, is that i would never, ever ever ever judge absolutely anybody or anything for anything
Great video
Thank you! Sending you much peace!
I've got lots of learning to do, thank you for this video. I'm upset because people are judging people, so I'm judging them for judging others. I do not like how I feel.
Im So blessed to find your channel .
May God bless you for all the supporting videos .
The world is still fine when their is people like you around .
Thank you .
Thank you so much for your kind words. I genuinely appreciate it! Much peace!
Tnx😊
thanks man I really didn't or even wanna judge anyone and I hope to keep it like that and your advices were amazing I'm gonna subscribe you to learn who knows maybe you'll help me again in the future
it reminds me of the wit dictionary. Ignoramus: Someone who doesn't know something you learned yesterday.
Wow, now that is deep but of course I have something to say about it.
I shared my past with you and to this day 20 years later I am still so judged and it is unreal. My own family and a lot of other PERFECT people still choose to not get past my past.
Well there is God who says you know what I simply love you and if your repent of your sins your past to me is gone. So I gave my life to God and it took many years to change but I did and with that change comes a changed heart.
So I know longer judge others. I know longer cuss or talk about or down to people. My job is to have great people around me and to always talk up to people. Build their confidence and introduce them to God.
Your topic today is a very serious one and I appreciate you bring it up. God bless you brother.
I see you bringing peace to others - and please know that I certainly will never judge you. We are ALL in this life together my brother. Much peace!
Dr. Christian Conte oh I know that. I was just letting you know that I live with that everyday because people judge all the time. It’s like that saying. When you point the finger at someone you have three fingers pointing back at you.
I love in complete peace and know that’s just how others are. They sit in there PERFECT chair and point out the issues of others yet forget there own.
Like I said your video was awesome. Keep them coming. God bless. Have a awesome day.
Very informative and useful! I’m on this journey now.
Thanks bro this message was practical my marriage is falling apart partly cause I'm critical u'r vid was everyday helpful
I don't believe in judgmental people Really appreciate life so anytime I have been having people to understand when people can
That osho book in the background:)
❤️♥️
Do people always do the best they can. Or do they do what they want. That is different, that is self indulgence, isn’t it? It’s like a diet, baked chicken with veg would be the best choice, but the lasagna sounds so good I went with that. Also, choices. Are often made with self delusional starting points such as the person wants to protect the other person from truth. I like your asymmetrical and hindsight bias concepts and will try and bring them into my thinking patterns in an effort to be more humble and curb my lifelong judgmental attitude. I spent 32 years in Human Resources, a judgmental attitude nightmare. I have some work to do.
@Dr. Christian Conte, any suggestions on how to handle inner turmoil when have a specific negative “assessment” even though not judging person as a whole? Such as disagreeing on the ethics of an action and whether or not to participate with them, and if choose not to, how to not seem (be?) judgmental? (Particularly hard with family, such as in-law’s, when relationship stakes are higher). Making sense of the nuance here, polite vs frank and stand up for self and beliefs, standing by virtues vs “not being judgmental” … is quite illusive to me. Appreciate any help!
I tend to be judgamental with people just by their looks, I try to put the picture of my loved ones in their face as if they were them, so I can be more loving with everyone , It doesn't always work but I try
:\ I enjoyed the video, but where's the "how to" part? I'm not sure how to apply this info dump into something actionable... :(
landed here because I'm genuinely trying to improve myself
01:13 🧠 Asymmetric insight: We tend to believe that we are deep and mysterious, while others are seen as shallow and predictable. This can lead to judgmental behavior.
02:34 🕰 Hindsight bias: When information resonates with us, we may believe we knew it all along. Recognizing this bias can foster humility and open-mindedness.
04:52 🌍 Embrace curiosity and humility: Acknowledge the vast unknown in the universe and be open to different perspectives. This can reduce judgment towards others.
05:46 📚 Differentiate assessment from judgment: Assessing situations is crucial, but judging individuals based on past mistakes can hinder growth and connection.
06:55 🌱 Embracecontinuous learning: Recognize that we are constantly learning and evolving. Be open to new knowledge and perspectives to foster humility and reduce judgment.
Im kinda different and I kinda need help...its like Im judging someone (in my mind) and immediately im so sorry about it like i know in a minute that im wrong and i feel so bad about it
like knowing you wrong when you judge is not a problem
the problem is the bad feeling while and after understanding it
I judge judgmental people lol I really want to change cuz Im not the miss I know it all.Ive been wrong a lot of times and plus critizing people doesn't make then change I think.
WOW.. He looks like and sounds like Adam from Northern Exposure.. without the hair.
@DrChristianConte ... I have learned a bit regarding the JoHaRi Window... is it almost the same as how you explained it? Thanks
What if we judge to protect ourselves from persons ?
Are there any books that you recommend on the topics that you talk about on RUclips for example anger or any other topics I would love to read a book that you recommend to get some of your knowledge
Thank you so much for asking. Yes, I have two books that are completely in line with the way I make these videos (i.e., I tell a brief story, then follow it with a lesson). The first is LIFE LESSONS and the second is TEACHING STORIES. I have six books in total to date. All of my books are available on my website and on Amazon. Thank you so much. Much peace!
Hi Chris Iv been listening to your videos recently n I wanted to know how can I deal with bitching about someone who really bothers me. My problem is when I’m angry with someone I can’t stop talking about them n I wana stop any advice please. Thanx
Damn, this dude talks fast. 😎
Damn I feel like I need a mentor
I’m very judgmental of people. I get easily irritated and turned off with friends and potential relationships. I don’t want to be this way.
I am really suffering now .. I don't hurt people and my opinions do not hurt people, I just criticize every person and everything and consider every person and everything deficient and that is true of course, but I want to reduce my criticism .. Today my friend said that a girl is beautiful and i told her honestly that i don't like her beauty and set standards I thought that were correct and i told her that i like her beauty more, but she got mad at me and told me that I am always critical and I don't like anything and she thought that i am jealous of that friend (i'm not).. and hella yeah, that one got me really hard in my heart.. so plz help me How can I change myself?
Can someone tell me what’s the problem with having an opinion? What’s the difference between judge and have a opinion to comment ?
It’s only about whether u say it or not.
It is funny because I can tell when people are being judgemental by just looking at them.
I believe no one will judge others and not judge themselves. I believe the reason why judgments emanates from someone is because they judge themselves or have been raised by caretakers who judge. I believe the first step is self love
"is because they judge themselves or have been raised by caretakers who judge. I believe the first step is self love"
You´re being judgemental right there. It's not wrong to judge others because we do it all the time. The reason is that we use it to survive. If I'm walking with my daughter to the playground and I see a man on a bench, I don't really care if I'm wrong. If I leave my daughter and she gets kidnapped then it's "OVER"
@@sbs330 that’s got nothing to do with judging. It’s protecting your baby and being a responsible adult 😅
Don’t mix judging and doing what’s right. Who says a quite smiling lady would not kidnap your daughter?
Judging much mr expert?
@@Infinityflowyoga
"that’s got nothing to do with judging. It’s protecting your baby and being a responsible adult 😅 "
Yes thats judging a person you dont know.. its pretty simple mate :D
there is a reason why parents wont leave there daughter if they see a man alone on the bench. if she ends up being kidnapped she will be gone forever
it is judging!.
I never pay attention to my critical thinking because It would be just plain boring. Why should I ?
So we every time I am judgemental or arrogant I need Magic Max from Princess Bride " Look who knows so much!" (Not me)
I missed the "how"
My biggest problem is being judgmental towards myself.
Same
you’re so iconic
Thanks for spreading positivity! Sending you much peace!
Yep! That was my 15 year daughter with that comment. Thank you Sir for doing these vids. Our family really benefits from them. Thank you. Big love.
He's a "Dr."
I come at it from a different mindset. My sister brings me here. Someone who complains that I'm judgmental. Whereas her contradiction is very evident when she goes on a list about me trying to convince me I have paranoia manic depression mania bipolar obsessive compulsive disorder attention to have to disorder attention deficit hyperactivity disorder Asperger's syndrome and autism. When I tell her that she is fat that is she's actually morbidly obese by every indication of the scientific BMI scale as well as just using one's own eyes, she'll get very offended she may even cry. However since she works with autistic children she thinks she has a scientific right to say that I'm autistic. Well I'm a personal trainer and I have a scientific right to say that she's fat by the BMI scale. Morbidly obese to be accurate.
Letting go of that let me be myself and just look at the video. 25 years ago people wouldn't correlate a doctor with someone who has tattoos on their body. The meaning of me saying that is that society has changed and become so incredibly open to freedom of expression and yet we're not open to judgment? That's strange to me you should be open to judgment absolutely why not. It's that society has changed so rapidly and so radically with our freedom of our bodies in every which way that there's going to be people like me who look at the traditional way of living and don't like the new way of living. Tattoos are expensive you're not going to want those when you're 60 years old tattoos are very much a thing of the cool crowd. Why are we trying to be the cool crowd?
If you want me to take this judgmental very video seriously then make your room shabby. All those books that you have them back disorganize them all you have a beautiful room there and I'm saying make it sloppy make it unorganized make it a little bit messy make it look disheveled and then do the same video. Don't care about your appearance so much let your hair grow on your head a little bit even if you're bald like me let's see the little bits of hair that's brought out. So of course you're not going to do that no one's going to do that perhaps I would but no one else would. If you really believe in this judgment-free thinking then live your life how you really are without doing all this extra maintenance and material upkeep. Let's just see your natural appearance then your natural home setting. I've been working 8 days in a row so my home setting is complete rubbish right now.
My point is we do judge people if anyone walked into my home right now they would judge me as a messy pig but if you came two weeks ago you would see a very clean house. People are going to judge me differently whether or not I'm clean shaving or not whether or not my head is clean shaven or whether I have this little bald alfalfa sprouts everywhere. People judge me on a car that I drive just like they judge you on the breadth scope scale and organization of your lovely bookcase. People are going to judge you as a cool hip with it doctor because you have tattoos. And you have that beard. You are with today's charming society. We're fooling ourselves that's a conclusion of my statement we're fooling ourselves acting as if we can be without judgment. Of course we're going to judge ourselves and others try to do it so harshly and also try to understand why are you judging yourself. I don't like myself because I'm bald well I can't do anything about that I don't like myself because my house has turned so messy well I can do something about that. Go and analyze the things that you can change within your life that would improve it in your eyes as well as in your neighbor's eyes and then try to go and do that. As for now I may have to quit my job. But, don't judge me...
Sounds like you're having a really tough moment and have a lot to say. I definitely hope you're able to get through what you're experiencing in the best way possible. Please know I am sending you all my best and tons of peace!
I never judge others because I don't want to be judged!😉
But even u don’t judge someone, someone will judge u
@@blessme7853 I know I wish people didn't do that. The older I get the less I care what people think. So the only thing that matters is how you act and what you believe. We can always choose to be our best version of ourselves.