Ewan McGregor's helicopter parachute jump over the Vatican is one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen, well worth the price of admission. I am laughing even as I write this.
I watched the movie thanks to these reviews and the phrase "parachuting pontiffs" that came up somewhere. I can't tell you how stupider the movie was than I expected
It still makes no sense. He was allegedly born on Northern Ireland but raised in Italy... Therefore he should sound vaguely Italian? Although having heard MacGregor's 'French' accent in Beauty and the Beast, he should just stay away from accents in general.
"The first hour is as boring as ever... even though they're doing the running and explaining.. with the less bad haircut, the little bit after that snore inducingly bad..but the last forty minutes are laugh out loud funny."
Who else loves the phrase “intergalactically stupid” and thinks it should be adopted into every lexicon. There’s no question mark after my question because I already know you love it.
Antimatter is identical to the matter that we see around us. However, the only difference is that antimatter is oppositely charged. Therefore, when matter and antimatter come into contact with each other they will cancel each other out and thus cause an annihilation. This would produce photons.
Which asks the musical questions - how the HELL do you store it?!?!?!?!??!?!? I know the book comes up with a bit of Using Pym Particles to Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Dilithium Crystals, but I gather the movie (I tried watching it on cable & nodded off partway through) doesn't do a very convincing job of explaining....
I've seen this film, and Mark is right. The smoke up the chimney bit is proper slapstick and Tom Hanks trying his best to look serious while he's doing it. Its proper mission impossible, we must keep this smoke going up the chimney at all costs. It's hilarious. And that joke at the end of the video was really funny
@@vivekiyer3840 Aye, it's been alright. I managed to survive the deadly plague that ravaged the Earth. Little did 19-year-old me know what was in store. How about you?
Kermode later (or was it earlier) mentioned in a podcast that though A&D was utterly stupid, it was still passably entertaining and alluded that it was not films like this that were pushing him towards retiring from his film critic career but another film called "Bride Wars" or something.
When anti-matter hits matter they annihilate, the combined mass turning instantly into energy that's orders of magnitude great than an atomic explosion. Just thought I'd clear that up.
What I meant is that if we had the equivalent mass of anti-matter to matter that would normally be required for a small nuclear weapon (i.e. about a basketball size ball of Uranium 238) the size of the matter/anti-matter explosive would dwarf the nuclear explosion by orders of magnitude. Far more than double or triple the size.
@sulijoo I believe in the book he explains that the anti-matter is being held in place by two opposing magnets or something, and as the canister has been stolen from the CERN labs it had limited battery power for the magnets, and once they ran out, ka-boom etc.
I actually quite enjoyed this, it was a bit more pacey & thrilling than The Da Vinci Code. But Mark is right, the accents are bizarre and the plot like something out of Star Trek. Not a classic, but diverting enough.
@orwell98 I think its a Bond movie where theres a massive fight going on with everyone on the boat, yet the boat keeps going straight. Hence, who's driving the boat?
For whatever it's worth, I also could not get through the first 40 pages of The DaVinci Code, but I sped through the Angels and Demons book, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I feel it quite helpfull to have the plot explained basicly if i'am stupid.... wich I AM. hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahha Simon Mayo is abseloutly brilliant
***** Explain? You mean why anti matter would explode? It's in the name. It is anti matter's defining characteristic. When it comes into contact with normal matter it obliterates itself and an equal amount of matter in a nuclear explosion.
i agree with him....i was furious after seeing the movie....i couldn't stop ranting for like an hour....i think the only reason they tampered with the story of the book is so that the church wont get offended...and it was funny...the end was shocking and funny!
I watched this treating it more like a Batman or Spiderman film. If you take it for what it is (a load of old non-sense), it's actually quite enjoyable. Agree on the explaining part. But doesn't annoy me too much.
Ewan McGregors character grew up in Italy since the age of 9. So he wasn't around any Irish people since then. No surprise that he doesn't speak with the accent you want from him. Actually it is surprising that he doesn't sound more italian. But irish accent is clearly misplaced here
Tbh I thought Ewan wasnt doing an accent lol. I knew he was supposed to be Irish even though the original character was Italian or whatever but in the the film it was just Ewan's normal accent except when he said "senori" or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising him, I adore Ewan McGregor, he's my favourite actor, that's why I was like grrrr when Kermode brought his accent up lol. At least he was doing his normal accent rather than a bad Irish one lol..
I agree with everything the guy said about Dan Brown... He has as much talent as Heather Graham has... And that's saying something... They both write like 13 year-olds...
He is very funny and entertaining, but I have to disagree. I like the movie very much. It's fast paced, thrilling, has a surprising twist at the end (which wasn't necessary), great music and some interesting facts about caatholic Rome
I was once ranting about the awful shit dan brown is allowed to call writing only to be told by not 1 but 2 good friends that 'nah it aint that bad mate , its actually pretty good' I couldnt bring myself to point out the gaping flaws in there argument, now instead i keep a little bit of secret hatred for them at the back of my mind . i hate mayo but 'the kermode/ mayo' combo is rather charming
I've read three Dan Brown books precisely because they were terrible. I just couldn't believe it, I couldn't put them down - they're just hilarious in their ineptitude!
![ARGENTINA vs. BOLIVIA [6-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/C3wPtKNbAOA/mqdefault.jpg)
Classic Kermode. Who's still watching this from the good doctor 11 years on?
ME
**prequels Obi-wan voice** Hello there
I'm re-watching it just for the sheer joy of a prime Kermodian rant.
me too, this is amazing
seems he lost his mojo. u dont get rants like these anymore
Ewan McGregor's helicopter parachute jump over the Vatican is one of the funniest scenes I have ever seen, well worth the price of admission. I am laughing even as I write this.
I watched the movie thanks to these reviews and the phrase "parachuting pontiffs" that came up somewhere. I can't tell you how stupider the movie was than I expected
This review was so powerful with righteous fury that it revived a man from a coma - I'm not even joking, look it up.
+Andy G I just looked that story up and I still can't believe that it's real.
I think it was The Da Vinci Code review that supposedly brought about a bloke from his coma. He shouts a bit louder in that one.
Chazbot obvious bait
Lol I misread "Trot" as "thot" 😂 my apologies
Thought he was a Christian...
Love Ewan MaGregor's Irish-Polish-Spanish-Russian accent there.
All of them living within a mile of Perth.
As far as I can tell he didn't speak with any accent there.
Bit of American thrown in for a second too.
McGregor obviously got his Italian accent from the same place Bill Scott got his Boris Badenov one.
It still makes no sense. He was allegedly born on Northern Ireland but raised in Italy... Therefore he should sound vaguely Italian? Although having heard MacGregor's 'French' accent in Beauty and the Beast, he should just stay away from accents in general.
Dan Brown writes sentences like "The famous man looked at the red cup."
For anyone who thinks this is a joke, the opening sentence of The Da Vinci Code is like this.
'The man's hand hit my nice face'.
Steven “the 75 year old man died a painful death on the green table”
Keith Fraser It is also a Stewart Lee joke.
@@KeithFraser82 I have the book
next to me and it doesn't say that.
"You are a man of great faith. You believe, though you have not seen."
Genius!
"The Mullet Of Robert Dingy-Dong", somebody please make that film
We've got a film review AND a literary critic for the price of one. Brilliant.
5:52 "Are you saying this is not a true story?"
I unashamedly lol'd like a mofo at that bit
"It's Mission Impossible Goes to the Vatican with Star Trek and Thunderbirds thrown In." Genius.
oh, Ewan McGregor's accent is bloody priceless.
I've heard worse Northern Irish accents to be fair, but it's still not great lol
@@petelawd9648 It makes no sense given that he was raised largely in Italy.
Ten years since this review came out and it's still fun to listen to
'The running and explaining with the less bad haircut' :-D
i would watch angels and demons if Tom Hanks character was called Robert Dingy-Dong
Anyone else get a Father Ted vibe from the Ewan McGregor clip with the pictures of the priests and so forth?
He DID kick me up the arse!
"The first hour is as boring as ever... even though they're doing the running and explaining.. with the less bad haircut, the little bit after that snore inducingly bad..but the last forty minutes are laugh out loud funny."
I live quite near Crieff, where Ewan is from. We all speak like that up here, after six or seven drams.
I love coming back to these reviews to hear Mark's hilariously engaging rants!
I liked the movie, solely for the fact that we got to see Tom Hanks in a speedo.
In that clip Ewan McGregor is still deciding on his accent WHILE delivering his lines!
Listening to your wonderful rant is a lot more interesting than watching the silly movie.
Who else loves the phrase “intergalactically stupid” and thinks it should be adopted into every lexicon. There’s no question mark after my question because I already know you love it.
Antimatter is identical to the matter that we see around us. However, the only difference is that antimatter is oppositely charged. Therefore, when matter and antimatter come into contact with each other they will cancel each other out and thus cause an annihilation. This would produce photons.
Which asks the musical questions - how the HELL do you store it?!?!?!?!??!?!? I know the book comes up with a bit of Using Pym Particles to Reverse the Polarity of the Neutron Dilithium Crystals, but I gather the movie (I tried watching it on cable & nodded off partway through) doesn't do a very convincing job of explaining....
I've seen this film, and Mark is right. The smoke up the chimney bit is proper slapstick and Tom Hanks trying his best to look serious while he's doing it. Its proper mission impossible, we must keep this smoke going up the chimney at all costs. It's hilarious. And that joke at the end of the video was really funny
"the unknown illuminati master?" has got to be the most cumbersome phrase i've ever heart
I thought the 'running and explaining' thing was already done much better in The Terminator.
jaydy71 What about pointing?
@@akash9818 this is great comment, hahahaha, revolutionary pointing concept
Any combination of words turns out to be a post punk band. Watch: Dirty Carrot. Canteen Purple. Dog Algebra.
Ambidextrous Whisk
Pleistocene Overkill Hypothesis. Salient Mountain. 27 Hours of North Korean Television.
I fuckin love this film , in the future this film will be held up as the zenith of unintentional comedy.
Its pure gold.
I'm in the future. It is.
"it is intergalatically stupid" hahahahahaha
“Because the dilitium crystals cannae take it anymore, Captain.” That was slick.
"This movie is so The Thunderbirds" - lol
Armin Mueller-Stahl being described as an actor hired to fufill a "non-specifically european character" i just laughed out loud, it's just so true.
I want a Dr. Bob Dingydong mullet for my upcoming adult photoshoot.
bless ewan mcgregor, i love him but this monologue is hilarious:D
Still funny 13 years later
Ewan McGregor's accent in this still makes me grin like a madman every time I hear it.
I'm amazed how few views this has had. It's a classic review.
Brilliant!!..the best Kermode rant of all time, cuts me up every time :)
Put 0:26 on the poster
"Dan Brown is brilliant!" - Mark Kermode, BBC radio 5 Live
I feel better already, this rant really can create miracles
Nine years later im revisiting this after actually watching the movie
@@ellbo2 how have these 11 years been?
@@vivekiyer3840 Aye, it's been alright. I managed to survive the deadly plague that ravaged the Earth. Little did 19-year-old me know what was in store. How about you?
This guy is freaking great. Nobody this right on and entertaining in the states.
"Intergalactically stupid" lol
Kermode later (or was it earlier) mentioned in a podcast that though A&D was utterly stupid, it was still passably entertaining and alluded that it was not films like this that were pushing him towards retiring from his film critic career but another film called "Bride Wars" or something.
I was a bit down today, but this has picked me right up!! The Ewan McGregor clip (6.03) is hilarious...what accent is he using lol
The cuts back to an increasingly dumbfounded Simon are gold.
When anti-matter hits matter they annihilate, the combined mass turning instantly into energy that's orders of magnitude great than an atomic explosion. Just thought I'd clear that up.
What I meant is that if we had the equivalent mass of anti-matter to matter that would normally be required for a small nuclear weapon (i.e. about a basketball size ball of Uranium 238) the size of the matter/anti-matter explosive would dwarf the nuclear explosion by orders of magnitude. Far more than double or triple the size.
Dr Robert dingy dong, always cracks me up
Ditto
"I'm gonna play you another clip." - "Oh good." 😄😅😂
I've seen these films. Mark Kermode's reviews of Dan Brown films are much more entertaining than the films. And they are a lot shorter.
fun that mark alludes to “mission impossible goes to the vatican”, a plotline that was featured in mission impossible 4 a couple of years later!
Very well observed by Mayo, Kermode's description was a bit Izzard-esque
@sulijoo I believe in the book he explains that the anti-matter is being held in place by two opposing magnets or something, and as the canister has been stolen from the CERN labs it had limited battery power for the magnets, and once they ran out, ka-boom etc.
is Ewan McGregor the new Meg Ryan vis a vis piloting helicopters?
I actually quite enjoyed this, it was a bit more pacey & thrilling than The Da Vinci Code. But Mark is right, the accents are bizarre and the plot like something out of Star Trek. Not a classic, but diverting enough.
Great video. The Da Vinci Code is one of the funniest movies ever made. A&D isn’t as “good” but still a fun ride.
he is not going to enjoy Tom Hanks is going to be back as Robert Langdon in Inferno in 2015.
+Leo Sylvermann DO NOT WANT
Sudev Sen
The phrase "intergalactically stupid" was used.
@orwell98 I think its a Bond movie where theres a massive fight going on with everyone on the boat, yet the boat keeps going straight. Hence, who's driving the boat?
For whatever it's worth, I also could not get through the first 40 pages of The DaVinci Code, but I sped through the Angels and Demons book, and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Ewan McGregor doing a scottish italian
where exactly is this sentence? i have searched for it with no success
I feel it quite helpfull to have the plot explained basicly if i'am stupid.... wich I AM. hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahha Simon Mayo is abseloutly brilliant
I believe this is the review that revived a dying man.
Film may be stupid, but "why would anti-matter explode?"
That is pretty stupid too.
Because the dilithium crystals "cannot take it anymore."
***** Explain? You mean why anti matter would explode?
It's in the name. It is anti matter's defining characteristic. When it comes into contact with normal matter it obliterates itself and an equal amount of matter in a nuclear explosion.
Hey, Kermode's Doctorate's in English, not Particle Physics!
The crazy thing is Pope Bededict XVI actually had a helicopter pilot's license
“Its mission impossible going to the vatican”
...but Mission Impossible did go to the Vatican
i agree with him....i was furious after seeing the movie....i couldn't stop ranting for like an hour....i think the only reason they tampered with the story of the book is so that the church wont get offended...and it was funny...the end was shocking and funny!
Thing is, I rather like the sound of his voice too. So it's clearly just a matter of taste.
"Intergalactically stupid" lmao
The plot sounds like something out of the mind of Alan Partridge
@ComandoPadentro
No, Kermode is the opposite of pretentious, and that's what makes him great.
Deal with it.
I remember when kermode was reviewing Atonement he said he'd read and loved the book.
In terms of dumbness Brown takes Mcewan hands down.
Ewan sounds sometimes like the Eric Liddell character in Chariots of Fire
I watched this treating it more like a Batman or Spiderman film. If you take it for what it is (a load of old non-sense), it's actually quite enjoyable. Agree on the explaining part. But doesn't annoy me too much.
Ewan McGregors character grew up in Italy since the age of 9. So he wasn't around any Irish people since then. No surprise that he doesn't speak with the accent you want from him. Actually it is surprising that he doesn't sound more italian. But irish accent is clearly misplaced here
“Intergalactically stupid”
Kevin Kline is very good actor, completely under rated in my opinion.
Is this the famous miracle rant that helped the guy out of the coma?
sorry, what is exposition?
Fiat Lux was also a Swiss cult.. their leader Uriella sold holy healing water, which turned out to be bath water..
I feel like people who hear this stuff on the radio are missing a lot.
He got through more of The DaVinci Code more than I did, I couldn't get through twenty pages of that literary excrement.
Who is kermit
This film sounds amazing
Tbh I thought Ewan wasnt doing an accent lol.
I knew he was supposed to be Irish even though the original character was Italian or whatever but in the the film it was just Ewan's normal accent except when he said "senori" or whatever.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising him, I adore Ewan McGregor, he's my favourite actor, that's why I was like grrrr when Kermode brought his accent up lol.
At least he was doing his normal accent rather than a bad Irish one lol..
Also - the plot isn't stolen from Star Trek. It was written before it.
Antimatter wouldn't explode in any conventional sense. What happens is that it would annihilate an equal amount of matter in a flash of gamma rays.
I agree with everything the guy said about Dan Brown... He has as much talent as Heather Graham has... And that's saying something... They both write like 13 year-olds...
@DontTouchMyVicodin "If we don't find the bomb by midnight the Vatican is going to be filled with jam!"
It's quite awkward WITHOUT Mayo, he sorta represents the not-so-literate moviegoing public.
That's 10 minutes you will never get back. How does that feel?
He is very funny and entertaining, but I have to disagree. I like the movie very much. It's fast paced, thrilling, has a surprising twist at the end (which wasn't necessary), great music and some interesting facts about caatholic Rome
Fargo? Seriously, I hope the Illuminati's plot involves Peter Stormare and a wood chipper.
No mention of Tom Hanks in a speedo?
17 people are still in a coma.
I was once ranting about the awful shit dan brown is allowed to call writing only to be told by not 1 but 2 good friends that 'nah it aint that bad mate , its actually pretty good' I couldnt bring myself to point out the gaping flaws in there argument, now instead i keep a little bit of secret hatred for them at the back of my mind .
i hate mayo but 'the kermode/ mayo' combo is rather charming
I've read three Dan Brown books precisely because they were terrible. I just couldn't believe it, I couldn't put them down - they're just hilarious in their ineptitude!
Never get Ewan to do a different accent, unless it's a comedy
0:37-0:46 is just flat out hilarious
We’re British, not being able to make tea is the end of the world.