Cats reviewed by Mark Kermode
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2024
- Mark Kermode reviews Cats. The Jellicle Cats gather for the Jellicle Ball, a ceremony to decide who will elevate to the Heaviside Layer.
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"It's not even Uncanny Valley, it's like Awkward Corner or Bewilderment Basement". Print that on the movie poster.
Someone PLEASE do this, then swap them out in your local cinema.
Lol, that was soooo good.
I listen to this and I imagine a European from the Middle Ages, who has never seen anything other than white people, suddenly sees an African or an Asian. They'd probably react like this. "Yuk, so uncanny! So almost human and yet not quite human. It looks horrifying and disturbing!"
@@OolTube02 What the fu*k are you on about???!!!!!
@@1funkyflyguy LOL
My new favourite hobby is to see reviews for this film 😂
This is my first one I’ve watched, who else does a good review?
@@adamarens3520 Beyond The Trailer
Adam Arens chris stuckmann - fandom Entertainment - Jeremy johns .
Lemme guess, only the reviews that confirm what you already believe, right?
I think that's the same for everyone
*Director frantically edits until the very last moment*
"It really is like rearranging deck chairs on the titanic"
Oli Hangartner epic
Unfair!
It was like launching leaky lifeboats.
It's like if the movie "Cars" used photo real cars with realistic human eyes and lips.
Nigel Saunders, The Bonsai Zone youre right
Lol
God i'd pay to see that.
Don’t give them ideas😂
Colin Salmon's idea from Master Of None 🤣
“There are a couple of moments in the film where it kind of almost worked.”
Poster material!
imallfordabulls The trailers for this movie give me nightmares
"You won't laugh! You won't cry! You'll quite often be bored." as another line on poster
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@Wastok
It's a Tom Hooper movie all the way.
I agree with him about Ian McKellen and Judi Dench, they were both good.
I honestly haven’t met anyone who likes Corden yet he seems to be Hollywood golden boy atm
I like him.
@@r4h4al Question: What's his appeal!?
@@MrCollywol I find him funny.
Fair enough, each to their own.
He appeals to Americans far more than the British I think.
Kermode's attempted kindness towards the film, is somehow more damning.
Anthony Burn My thoughts exactly! He literally had to excavate things to be kind about. 🙊
Yeah he didn't want to go all in on it but you could tell he had to at least be honest with the listeners
Also, having seen it after all the terrible reviews it got to start with Kermode would have loved to be the contrarian that went, "actually, it's not that bad." But he just couldn't.
“Like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic”, now that should be printed on all home video formats.
I can see it now: "Titanic - Mark Kermode" on all the film advertising
I’d actually pay to see a Lynch or Cronenbrg version of Cats, at least that would have been an intentional horror film.
Tim Burton should have directed it!
@@whoknew2273 Turns out Hooper can direct disaster movies quite well.
Lynch’s version: every cat is a doppelgänger, there is a twenty minute scene of Rum Tum Tugger smoking cigarettes, and it’s shot on a first generation GoPro.
Paul Verhoeven probably could have pulled it off too, possibly while ruining the careers of several actors (hopefully James Corden) in the process.
Terry Gilliam would have had a good stab at it, but his version would have gone over budget, probably have taken years to film and there would have been some unforeseen tragedy, like the producer running off with the money or someone dying midway through filming. Seriously, poor Gilliam needs one last chance to go out on a high.
Crucially they NEVER NEVER NEVER ever look like cats.
They never have. Not since the show was first staged.
@The Grinderman Why? Why does one have to merit more disbelief than the other?
@pastal That's not true.
@the missing link No. I'm not trying.
@@r4h4al are you here for the 10 minute argument?
Sounds like he loved it and wants a sequel.
Ok Tom Hooper
Sounds like he’s angling for a role in the sequel
Springtime for Kitler.
And Germany
@@janiceford8452 purr-many
waitsfan1973 Triumph of the Cat
The daschund is on the march again
Simon Mayo is so quiet during this review, you can tell he’s letting Mark have space to release his dismay..
Raumarik until he is signalling to stfu
Char10tti3 except kermode isn’t even looking at him, so here’s clearly gesturing at someone else...
@@lucyhurst2534 🤔 he's quite clearly looking at his notes
He's used to it by now! 😂
Uncanny valley-> awkward corner
->bewildering basement
“This is arranging deck chair on the Titanic”
“It’s the least feline thing I have ever seen”
“He is not good enough to pull of something so audacious”
The is Kermode at his best !
It's like moving the litter round in the litter tray
Lol. Should’ve read as: “This is Kermode at his BEAST!”
As kind as he was trying to be, he went full on beast mode with those one-liners 😂😂😂😂
I weirdly think it would have worked In a stop motion style. Like nightmare before Xmas. I know a lot of it is dancing but it would be cool to see them move the physical models to dance. It wouldn't look weird like the cgi and it wouldn't be too Broadway with real actors. It would be it's own thing.
Stop motion?!
The hell it would not look good!
I thought it would work as animation too !
Risingofthephoenixx x why not? Think about nightmare before christmas or fantastic mr fox
That would work. All those abysmal songs need to be scrapped and replaced though.
Or old fashioned 2D animation.
the movie's so bad, Mark even forgot to rip on James Corden
rudi reifenstecher imagine a film being so bad that james Corden isn’t the worst thing about it
That's unforgivable he deserves to be trashed
Shockingly Corden’s probably the least of their worries in this cursed film
5:15 "It's not even uncanny valley! It's like awkward corner or bewildering basement. It's SO bizarre!" 🤣🤣
My favourite review of Cats:
"Glad to report that Cats is everything you'd hope for and more: a mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten by a parasite. A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a migraine"
I would imagine the first 30 minutes of Skywalker might also have that effect.
brilliant
"It's not even uncanny valley. It's like awkward corner or bewildering basement."
Awkward Corner is the name of my new punk-indie band.
This will push the Thundercats movie back a couple of years
Yeah, I’m only 37, but, unfortunately, judging by the reaction to Cats, I’ll be lucky to see a Thundercats movie in my lifetime haha.
So this isn't a prequel to cats vs dogs?
IKR
That had better cgi
Loooool
😂😂😂
Katts and dog
I RELATED HARD when he said “I didnt even cry at memory, and I’m EASY to make cry” 😂😂
I know his dad is intense about the criticism but James Corden is an immediate turn off for me, maybe in panto but not acting.
What about All Or Nothing? He can be a good actor with the right material
James cordon and rebel Wilson are the type of actors that you know it’s gonna be *that* type of movie
He’s the worst
@@MrTrombonebandgeek Ironically enough they were the only good parts about this movie for me. (Besides the music) It's like they were the only ones who knew that it was going to bomb,so they decided to bomb hard.
klou32 I think James started on broadway though. So I would think he would be good for this movie.
bewildering basement
WIll be using this from now on.
"I was quite often bored even though it is quite short"
- "Not a very good director" - "it shouldn't exist"
Great lines for the poster.
“It’s like rearranging deck chairs on the titanic.” Is a great saying im gonna use that in my life lol
“The problem with the film is that it shouldn’t exist”
Yikes.
Totally accurate statement though. It was clear from the moment the trailer dropped this was a collection of terrible choices all smashed together.
I don't think he said that in the way you think he meant.
No Danny John-Jules?
.... I'm out.
Original Cat is best Cat.
'Aaaaaouu! How'm I lookin? I'm lookin nice!'
"It's like rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic" 😂
There’s a reason why this wasn’t done on film for nearly 40 years. Not all Broadway (especially musicals) translate easily and need the absolute best people to pull off.
Finally someone says it Hooper isnt a great director can he give his oscar back and hand it to David Fincher
I knew from the trailers that this was going to be a must see film. The reviews confirm it.
Why isn't every movie goer flocking to it?
Sounds like Hooper has finally made an interesting film.
Thank you, Mark, for calling out Tom Hooper. I agree completely. King's Speech was only as good as it was because of Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush; and Alicia Vikander & Matthias Schoenaerts were the best things about The Danish Girl.
Eddie Redmayne looked like Toni Collette in The Danish Girl!
I would love it if David lynch directed cats that would be actually kinda perfect.
How's about if the Aardman Studio had made it, instead?
Purrfect
I'd watch that, and I dislike musicals in general and Andrew Lloyd Webber in particular. Then again, I'd watch Lynch direct his standard actors reading the phone book.
Gore Verbinski. 😆
@@timbeaton5045 YES!!!! Or Pixar!
James Corden humour: I’m fat and exasperated
Rebel Wilson humour: I’m fat and clumsy
Pitch Perfect 4: Car Kara-Aka-oke
it's not the actors' fault
@@gabormuller9850 Perhaps they could find another line of work. If only!
@Julie Newman not necessarily wrong, but their main character trait in many of their movies is that they're fat, that is the issue.
I don't know, but I get this distinct feeling he might not have liked the film all that much.
I seriously think the only way Cats would have worked is if it had been made 30 years ago by someone who was bonkers and fearless like Ken Russell. He would have known how to tackle the material, and maybe employ Rick Baker to do the make-up. However, no-one in Hollywood would touch Ken Russell with a 100 foot barge pole by then. Pity.
Ken Russell. Classic. Hahaha.
Well said. Russell would have been perfect.
I thought it did work.
What happened to Ken Russell
@@wooof. He died.
Taking acid and watching this film is going to be a kind of trial by fire
Drugs can save the Star Wars Christmas Special...BUT NOT THIS ATROCITY
coming up or coming down?
Brainbot Jezebel I’m not talking about “saving it”, it’s more like being plunged into Dante’s 10th, cat themed, circle of hell.
I saw this film a few hours ago. Believe me you do not need to be on drugs for it to bend your mind! DO NOT GO ALONE!!!
I appreciate that Mark really *tried* to say something nice about it
A dog of a movie
Miaowwww
😜
"It's not even the uncanny valley, it's the awkward corner!" *genius*
Cats is a musical that it has never even crossed my mind to watch. I said to my friends when I saw the trailer: "I've never wanted to see a film less".
Michael Palmer If you watch the 90s version choosing to see it as a ballet with singing, it makes much more sense. It’s a surreal trippy experience no matter what but at least the filmed stage version is competent.
Christopher Marlowe eh...
@@cecilyerker I think I'm the minority who prefers the film to the 90s version. The 90s were all about "toning down" the hard 80s synths and power-beats and general weirdness. This film seems to go back to the originality of the 80s
“...the least feline thing I have ever seen!”
CATS
James Cordon = Im not watching it.
AndyRossism same but also
Rebel Wilson = i’m not watching it
Taylor Swift = i’m not watching it
Jason Drulo = i’m not watching it
@@nes22s Rebel Wilson = haha funny because fat
@@nes22s not usually a fan but she had some good stuff in Jojo rabbit. Her as an insane nazi wife lady who happens to be fat was good.
@@nes22s Nevermind the fact that all of them are only in maybe 10% of the show.
There's nothing Corden won't do to maintain his profile. He's the Carol Vorderman of Hollywood.
Werner Herzog's CATS
"Grizabella the Glamour Cat remains in woe. Her glory days are long gone and she faces a future of despair and gloom.
*But W H Y ?*"
Zulu Romeo
She’s an old cat, out alone on the street.
Kermode could have saved a lot of time, here:
"James Corden is in it."
Done.
For someone so remarkably unpopular he seems to be quite successful.
Loved it when Mark didn't even try to pronounce Les Miserables 😂
I hope that is indeed the case.
Pronouncing it like that is a running joke on the show.
I think there was a minor league punk band in the 70s with a member called Les (as in Lesley) Miserables (pronounced defiantly the English way)
"Les Miserables and his orchestra" is a running gag
"The editing is like somebody collapsed on the editing machine and hit random cut" HAHAHA! Classic!
"It shouldn't exist." - Mark Kermode. That HAS to go on the poster
I just love getting the giggles over the idea that this movie has a ball that was rolling and couldn't be stopped. I picture ALL of those contracts, meetings, and not one person was going to stop this from being made. Kinda like the chairs on the Titanic as you put it. This was a great review. I need to see this bc I'm addicted to the reviews of it
You are the best reviewer I’ve found. Any movie I watch reviews of you’re always the one that can hit all the right beats in your review. I don’t always agree with you but you are one of the most intelligent people in this space
He is an amusing man
“Rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic” imma keep that one handy 😂
The R.E.M. thing: Reconstruction of the Fables - You Can’t Get There From Here.
Mark Bailey - Thank you .
The only way to improve it would be to hire Andy Serkis to play all the parts.
"It's like moving the litter around the litter tray", hahaha, oh man that was so good!
"It really is like rearranging the deck chairs aboard the Titanic"
I spat out my sandwich
jagged jot its a well known phrase 🥂
At first I thought that this was directed Tobe Hooper, I would go and see that
It's bloody scary enough to be directed by him
Joseph Martin That would’ve been awesome lol
Points for referencing old-school R.E.M. "Can't Get There From Here" off Fables of the Reconstruction.
I like going back watching this review over again
Reorganising the deck chairs on the titanic. I love Kermode.
Is it just me who is confused why every comment just reads "Cats"?
Ultgamer cw I’m bewildered 😂
Nope I have no idea either.
After the words 'I saw cats this morning' my first thought was 'Sorry to hear that'.
"Like rearranging deck chairs on the titanic"
So many people are talking about Hoopers inadequacies as a director. How is he still working?
In this business you kind of just fail upwards.
Because he's made good films🙂
*@King_ Julian,* like Paul Feig?
@@king_julian327
Not good films.
Films that have made money.
Totally agree with this review. I saw Cats on the Friday it was released and was very disappointed with it. Came home and watched the DVD of the stage show, that is terrific.
Bewildering Basement, great name for a band.
Root maybe they can front for Les Miserables and his Orchestra 🤣😂🤣😂
"it's not even Uncanny valley it's like awkward corner or bewildering basement it's so bizarre"-Mark Kermode on Cats 2019
8:26 The problem with the film *is that it shouldn't exist*
I thought he was gonna stop there and I was cracking up.
Cats
Uh... Meow?
How dare
the question to ask is How much did Andrew Lloyd Webber make on the deal up front?
I don't get how he's dined out on cats for so long. I've seen the show. It's complete balls.
And how far would he travel to make sure poor people got none of it?
All the way from America I believe.
Didnt they learn the lesson of Green Lantern? NO CGI SUITS!
One of the main reasons why I love the Deadpool movies!
They should of just recorded a live version from the theatre and put it out on the cinema. Then again they have done that on video and dvd. I dunno what possessed them to even pick up the idea! 🤷🏽♂️
Well done Mr Kermode for not swearing at all during this.
I am a straight man in a relationship and I want to marry Mark Kermode
Newsflash...you're not straight. Go and look in the mirror.
Lol...in a relationship....with another man! But in fairness we'd all be happy spending dinner time with MK
Whoa whoa whoa! Did he just reference one of the more obscure REM “hit” songs? *Can’t Get There From Here* was a 1985 single off of Document and had a very brief moment in the sun thanks to MTV but other early 80’s one hit wonders like Honeymoon Suite knocked them off the charts.
I'd definitely watch a live adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'Starlight Express' made by David Cronenberg or David Lynch, really leaning in heavy on the body horror of CGI trains having human faces. If you make it a Kafkaesque cyberpunk horror flick, that would be at least interesting.
With them screaming for release! Christmas fare.
I absolutely love the Tom Hooper film The Damned United, and I really liked The King's Speech. Sadly his diversion into Musical territory turns me off a bit
Colm Meaney as Don Revie not long after he'd been Pat Farrell in Alpha Papa!
Damned United was a fantastic book utterly ruined by Hooper's cack handed, cheesy fuckwittery. He is a sub average film maker at best. Sheen's a good actor but he fell far short of the mark here playing Clough like some sort of comedy caricature.
His episode of His Dark Materials might have salvaged his reputation for this year slightly.
GuyRoulstone just “a bit”
Hooper should of done 'The Island of Dr Moreau - The Musical' instead.
Les Miserables and his Orchestra....Here all week!
Try the veal. Tip your waitress.
This movie was so bad that if they played it as an in flight movie, I would still walk out of the screening in utter disbelief and disgust.
"Not uncanny valley, but awkward corner or bewildering basement." That's a very Kermode quote if I've ever heard one.
Best summing up ever. You just have to clean the litter tray.
This movie sounds like somebody had a really twisted fetish and nobody said no to them.
Furries would like it tbh
Weirdly the terrible reviews have made me more interested in seeing it, I'm in for a glorious disaster.
Badge Man sorry - it’s soooo bad it’s BAD
Same
Terry Gilliam could have done this
If Terry Gilliam had done it, it would have looked fabulous, probably had Johnny Depp in it somewhere, been even weirder, gone over budget and time, and at least one event that would have ended a lesser directors ability to make the movie would have occurred (actor dying, sound stage catching fire, extreme legal squabbles, and awful studio mandated edit of the film).
Don't get me wrong, I like Terry Gilliam, and love most of his movies, but he is not know for being a director who helms smooth and painless productions.
The man who killed Don Quixote rocked my world.
Mikkel Kjær Jensen Johnny Depp would have ruined it too.
"Lovely stuff" not my words Lynn.
Lez Miserable?
"Lez Miserables and his orchestra". It's a joke in other words ("Lez Miserables" is a pretty common jocular way of mispronouncing the French title in the UK).
@@anonymes2884 From a very old joke - Les Sylphides and his band.
Also known in West End parlance as ‘The Glums’.
Pretty awful. Takes everything good out of the stage show. Except Anne Hathaway’s I dreamed a dream
Kevin Nguyễn pretty awful especially including Anne
If you're looking for a positive quote from Mark Kermode about Cats: "it's quite short" 😂😂😂
They could have marked the movie as abstract horror and it would've been one of the best films of the decade.
“I don’t like musicals, never saw Cats, just saw a photo of the stage show, the songs are not for me.” 😯
You mean like most normal people?
I am going to go see it. Mostly out of curiosity. Although they do say that curiosity killed the cat.
everyone: *something cats related*
me: "less miserables"??? whuuuuut
did he just refer to “leh mizerabh”, as “les miserables”
Think that’s humour dear boy
Short for Lesley, Mr. Miserables’ full first name.
he just did an american
It's a joke one of his friends made. A lot of bands used to be called so-and-so and His Orchestra. A guy named Les(ter) Miserables would have a perfect name for it.
James corden sure finds his way in these movies.
Lookin at u emoji movie
“I didn’t laugh
I didn’t cry, even during a Memory”
That says it all...this is the anti-Broadway CAts
Watch the performance, but hudson, on the voice. There, it is controlled emotion. In the film, it is overly dramatic to the point of parody
Video: barely mentions James Corden
Comments: Almost all about James Corden
I don't like him myself but had no idea he was so disliked.
It seems odd.
Why would he make enough of an impression to inspire such dislike?
@@alanpennie8013 IMO it's because it irks a lot of people when somebody's level of success massively outweighs their level of actual talent. It also makes people's eyes roll when a grown man acts like a 14 year old lad with ADHD.
For anyone who's looking for a quick kermode summary, he loved it. He said "it's the exorcist of films based on feline inspired musicals"
"You have to be Cronenberg, you have to be Lynch"... Omg in a perfect world.
Part of me wonders if this would have worked better as a full 2D cel-animated feature film, with cartoon cats instead of hoomans in cat skin.