Flying monkeys bring themselves to believe that everyone imputing the person's behaviour is crazy, lying, trying to use them etc. Even when it happens again and again with different people.
Not being believed by people who are NOT abusers is even worse than being abused by the perpetrator. Its like being convicted of a crime you didn't commit, and when you're released from prison its still on your written record and that's all people see. They don't want to actually take the time to sit and understand and sift through potential lies.
I am the scapegoated daughter of a malignant narcissist. My mother, who was a primary school teacher, repeatedly beat me unconscious. It hurts me so much that my brothers do not believe me. In a way it hurts me more that my aunt does not believe me because she was present when my mother was taken to court by the parents of a girl in my mothers class who was severely beaten by her in school, so she knows how violent my mother could be.
I find it curious when people are convinced they know someone's limits, while admitting he/she is a major a-hole on occasion, lies and cheats, loses control when intoxicated, often breaks the law etc. Somehow they still dismiss certain abuse accusations and refer to survivors as crazy, as the person "would do just anything but what you're claiming they did, so you must be a liar".
Whoa!!! Thank you, Mr. Vanknin! Yes, exactly! I do all of these things as coping mechanisms. You are 100 percent spot on. I've never been able to put it into words, or been able to understand or explain it to people before. I have only been able to say "Please don't take it personally. I just fall off sometimes. I do it to everyone, It's not you, or anything you've done wrong. I've just always dealt with things alone, on my own... It's the only way I know. " But they unfortunately always take it personally.. Unless they've known me since childhood, & understand trauma.
I'm so grateful you're willing to educate the public. you have helped heal my heart ❤️ thank you sir for knowing the truth and not being afraid to speak about it so eloquently and kindly!!!
They cannot believe what I say. They don’t know the devastation and the Abuses. Nobody can understand unless they been thru it. I will be healing for the rest of my life. NC for a year. He still stalks me on fb messenger with fake profiles. I will Never Ever go back. That is my get back. I’m no longer a victim.
Being disbelieved mist is my life as a scapegoat, I love my resilience and willingness to learn how to detach with compassion not blame. As someone who’s neurodivergent it makes it hard to differentiate between healthy ways to cope that are observable behaviours obtained fro the narcissist and others in forms of gaslighting. Nurtured my little hurt but beautiful child self without even knowing it, has saved me. Lots of healing now and unpeeling the layers of denial I used to escape the pain. Fascinating podcast, thank you. Too many contributing factors add to the fact that it’s impossible to know exactly what label to attach.
Professor Sam i watched many of your video after a tragic breakup with my love interest. I dived deep into the topic of trauma and its effects, i realised that I just can't be myself anymore. Day by day I'm isolating myself. It feels like i was in coma for 25 years due to my narcissist father. Can you make a video on how to fight bpd. Solution oriented videos will be of great help to those who have no access to therapist.
Sentimental is not empathic. Sentimental feelings gravitated around themself. It's not a feeling that they have for other people or any other living beings. It's often just sadness and longing for lost things or youth. There is no love in it.
what I’m witnessing right now is my wife being completely eaten alive by her elder sister. Today she was told if it wasn’t for her child then she would have committed suicide. She’s told she is going through all this emotional breakdown because of her, my wife’s told that she cannot love her like she loves her. She’s called stupid and an idiot on a daily basis. She is mocked for her looks, she is mocked and laughed at for her opinion on any issue. She’s told she’s childish and never learns to mature. If she tries to explain her side of an argument she’s scolded for being defensive. She’s told she’s a failure in life. I’m having to watch my wife selflessly give her time and energy in trying to help her with chores while being treated like a doormat. Last week things turned even uglier when she was mildly attacked and screamed right in her face like a maniac. I admire her courage in facing all of this with such patience and forbearance but it’s effecting her. She’s having headaches, her heartbeat is always fast now and she’s losing weight and always tired and sad.its visible now that her hearts broken. I know what she’s dealing with because I see frightening resemblances to my mother. I dealt with my parents so I have experience but She doesn’t like it when I talk about her family in a negative light. it distresses her and I know she’s not strong enough to face an emotional vampire. we live on a small island, cannot go no contact or leave for a plethora of reasons. @samvaknin can you help me?
Are these people consciously aware of this? I'm sure some are... I'd be most afraid of the one who is VERY aware...this past year I've come across incredibly deceptive narcs. It has caused me to distrust everyone at this point. :(
I like it when you explain scientifically based on research and studies that have long been tested by experts and not only because of the pressure of issues of responsibility to society and the pressure of any political issues but more on a case by case basis scientifically and based on science, hopefully it will be better and develop again professor👍
@SamVaknin. Maybe I just needed to hear this today or it was a particularly well crafted and presented topic. It helped me fill in some gaps of confusion when dealing with a narcopath.
Wow, fascinating. I stayed with You the whole 1:08:50 mins Sam. Your explanations are very clear to me. Yes please make a video on the topic of "Dublet" and how it relates etc.. Thank you. Now, I totally understand what compartmentalization is.
This is very interesting though hard for the average person to follow. One of the most helpful things about the presentation, though, is it helps to demystify the seemingly unbeatable psychopath, like despicable Trump and others like him. I would like to hear about how the victims of psychopaths can get others to believe them.
Mr. Vaknin Do you remember the serial killer Aileen Wuornos? Would you mind to give me your opinion on what type of personality disorder she had? Thankyou
I am so sorry Proffesor i❤love your video's. I survived a cyclon off four narcissistic abusers for twenty years. I am proud to be the strong women i am today. I can smell them i can see them i can hear them. But they no longer in my mind. You are so funny @t the beginning your Smile is presious❤
Well I think it's just more insult to injury to call someone a liar ruin their reputation further if they were not known as dishonest because many are also just apathetic they don't care to check facts hey it's not their life not their problem though sometimes cops doctors or lawyers that have the actual job of it being their problem when crimes have been committed still can be apathetic or unethical unfortunately that's the world we live in and bad things happen to good people all the time. Some predatory types see someone already traumatized as easy prey too.
sam ❤🫂dziekuje za kazde video ..uwielbiam Cie..szkoda ,ze nie ma po polsku tlumaczen. ..powinni zaczac robic ..geniusz uwielbiam Pana ,moge sluchac caly czas .
Being disbelieved is VERY painful.
Brutal
VERY painful…it piles on more pain to pain… more betrayal upon the betrayal.
Being disbelieved by someone you once thought was your friend. That hurts.
And lonely.
It is so very painful. I will not share accept to my counselor and to my new husband.
you are literally saving my sanity with your videos, thank you
I second that
you joined the biker gang, sir
Flying monkeys bring themselves to believe that everyone imputing the person's behaviour is crazy, lying, trying to use them etc. Even when it happens again and again with different people.
Not being believed by people who are NOT abusers is even worse than being abused by the perpetrator. Its like being convicted of a crime you didn't commit, and when you're released from prison its still on your written record and that's all people see. They don't want to actually take the time to sit and understand and sift through potential lies.
I am the scapegoated daughter of a malignant narcissist. My mother, who was a primary school teacher, repeatedly beat me unconscious. It hurts me so much that my brothers do not believe me. In a way it hurts me more that my aunt does not believe me because she was present when my mother was taken to court by the parents of a girl in my mothers class who was severely beaten by her in school, so she knows how violent my mother could be.
Jesus...sorry to hear that. When was your mom a teacher?
Damn... Stay strong. I have whole family fucked up like that with me being the only one being the most normal and healthy
I find it curious when people are convinced they know someone's limits, while admitting he/she is a major a-hole on occasion, lies and cheats, loses control when intoxicated, often breaks the law etc. Somehow they still dismiss certain abuse accusations and refer to survivors as crazy, as the person "would do just anything but what you're claiming they did, so you must be a liar".
People are stupid and hypocrites. they only care when the narc hits them
You speak in a way that very easy for me to understand complex things. Thank you for sharing this important knowledge. Someone understands. Thank god.
Whoa!!! Thank you, Mr. Vanknin!
Yes, exactly! I do all of these things as coping mechanisms. You are 100 percent spot on. I've never been able to put it into words, or been able to understand or explain it to people before. I have only been able to say "Please don't take it personally. I just fall off sometimes. I do it to everyone,
It's not you, or anything you've done wrong. I've just always dealt with things alone, on my own... It's the only way I
know. "
But they unfortunately always take it personally.. Unless they've known me since childhood, & understand trauma.
Vaknin.
I'm so grateful you're willing to educate the public. you have helped heal my heart ❤️ thank you sir for knowing the truth and not being afraid to speak about it so eloquently and kindly!!!
@user-Prof_Sam_vaknin_1 Thank you 😊
They cannot believe what I say. They don’t know the devastation and the Abuses. Nobody can understand unless they been thru it. I will be healing for the rest of my life. NC for a year. He still stalks me on fb messenger with fake profiles. I will Never Ever go back. That is my get back. I’m no longer a victim.
You look outstanding in your new outfit Sam 😊
Merry Christmas 🎄
Being disbelieved mist is my life as a scapegoat, I love my resilience and willingness to learn how to detach with compassion not blame.
As someone who’s neurodivergent it makes it hard to differentiate between healthy ways to cope that are observable behaviours obtained fro the narcissist and others in forms of gaslighting.
Nurtured my little hurt but beautiful child self without even knowing it, has saved me.
Lots of healing now and unpeeling the layers of denial I used to escape the pain.
Fascinating podcast, thank you.
Too many contributing factors add to the fact that it’s impossible to know exactly what label to attach.
Brilliant as usual, and the jacket suits you
Professor Sam i watched many of your video after a tragic breakup with my love interest. I dived deep into the topic of trauma and its effects, i realised that I just can't be myself anymore. Day by day I'm isolating myself. It feels like i was in coma for 25 years due to my narcissist father. Can you make a video on how to fight bpd. Solution oriented videos will be of great help to those who have no access to therapist.
Watch the recovery and healing playlist.
Sentimental is not empathic.
Sentimental feelings gravitated around themself. It's not a feeling that they have for other people or any other living beings.
It's often just sadness and longing for lost things or youth. There is no love in it.
I should begin saying how handsome he is in this coat.
Awww…the “Bad Boy” image! Making us want you more 😂
I’ve not experienced those comments but I’ve heard
“If it weren’t for bad luck you’d have no luck at all” or “ sounds like you have a broken picker”
what I’m witnessing right now is my wife being completely eaten alive by her elder sister. Today she was told if it wasn’t for her child then she would have committed suicide. She’s told she is going through all this emotional breakdown because of her, my wife’s told that she cannot love her like she loves her. She’s called stupid and an idiot on a daily basis. She is mocked for her looks, she is mocked and laughed at for her opinion on any issue. She’s told she’s childish and never learns to mature. If she tries to explain her side of an argument she’s scolded for being defensive. She’s told she’s a failure in life. I’m having to watch my wife selflessly give her time and energy in trying to help her with chores while being treated like a doormat. Last week things turned even uglier when she was mildly attacked and screamed right in her face like a maniac. I admire her courage in facing all of this with such patience and forbearance but it’s effecting her. She’s having headaches, her heartbeat is always fast now and she’s losing weight and always tired and sad.its visible now that her hearts broken. I know what she’s dealing with because I see frightening resemblances to my mother. I dealt with my parents so I have experience but She doesn’t like it when I talk about her family in a negative light. it distresses her and I know she’s not strong enough to face an emotional vampire. we live on a small island, cannot go no contact or leave for a plethora of reasons. @samvaknin can you help me?
You're a star, Sam. Happy Chistmas. Thank you so much for your hugely medicinal videos. ♥
Are these people consciously aware of this? I'm sure some are... I'd be most afraid of the one who is VERY aware...this past year I've come across incredibly deceptive narcs. It has caused me to distrust everyone at this point. :(
I like it when you explain scientifically based on research and studies that have long been tested by experts and not only because of the pressure of issues of responsibility to society and the pressure of any political issues but more on a case by case basis scientifically and based on science, hopefully it will be better and develop again professor👍
Thank you Sam for the depth of explaination.
I was destroyed for 41 years, now he's passed. I'm relieved and grieving. No one believes me accept my counselor.
@SamVaknin. Maybe I just needed to hear this today or it was a particularly well crafted and presented topic. It helped me fill in some gaps of confusion when dealing with a narcopath.
Your videos are...simply...amazing...they force me to actually concentrate and think!
Thank you so much for your videos. You opened my eyes to see clear now. I am so glad. Best wishes for you. Damian
Thank you, Professor!
Wow, fascinating. I stayed with You the whole 1:08:50 mins Sam. Your explanations are very clear to me. Yes please make a video on the topic of "Dublet" and how it relates etc.. Thank you. Now, I totally understand what compartmentalization is.
Guten Abend, danke für die neue Video! Btw, Prof. Du siehst gut aus! Die Lederjacke steht dir gut 🤩
Merry Christmas Sam!
You're amazing thank you for being you merry x mas
10:29 - The tactics & strategies used by gangs/traffickers/organized crime are perfect examples of Machiavellianism in action.
This is very interesting though hard for the average person to follow. One of the most helpful things about the presentation, though, is it helps to demystify the seemingly unbeatable psychopath, like despicable Trump and others like him. I would like to hear about how the victims of psychopaths can get others to believe them.
Merry Christmas Dr.Sam Vaknin
Mr. Vaknin
Do you remember the serial killer Aileen Wuornos? Would you mind to give me your opinion on what type of personality disorder she had?
Thankyou
She had to be a BDP
She had to be a BDP
@@aliwise9503 BORDERLINES aren't typically serial killers lol. psychopathy.
I am so sorry Proffesor i❤love your video's.
I survived a cyclon off four narcissistic abusers for twenty years.
I am proud to be the strong women i am today.
I can smell them i can see them i can hear them.
But they no longer in my mind.
You are so funny @t the beginning your Smile is presious❤
Would hug you not stab you.. Mazel tov..love listening to you ❤
Good video.
Cause they have never experienced 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you!
Thank you.
Well I think it's just more insult to injury to call someone a liar ruin their reputation further if they were not known as dishonest because many are also just apathetic they don't care to check facts hey it's not their life not their problem though sometimes cops doctors or lawyers that have the actual job of it being their problem when crimes have been committed still can be apathetic or unethical unfortunately that's the world we live in and bad things happen to good people all the time. Some predatory types see someone already traumatized as easy prey too.
Thank you love your content now take me to your dealer 👽 😆
yeahhhh finally no more neuroses!😅Happy New Year!
(un)Happy Reaction Formation Day! 🎄
sam ❤🫂dziekuje za kazde video ..uwielbiam Cie..szkoda ,ze nie ma po polsku tlumaczen. ..powinni zaczac robic ..geniusz uwielbiam Pana ,moge sluchac caly czas .
Watch my interviews with Daria Zukowska on her channel.
Out there other vs who i choose
You're a funny guy