Put your sanity as priority. Walking away is sometimes the only option. And sadly at times it may include children as well. My brother painfully had to step away from his children that have been turned against him. It’s been a couple years and still hurts him so much I think he suffers from ptsd. I can see the pain in his eyes on birthdays and holidays. But he has been so badly damaged by the threats false reports smear campaign that he is emotionally and spiritually destroyed. He holds onto hope that one day they will realize he’s not the evil parent the “mom” says he is.
That is such a sad story Anonymously - I do understand and agree at some point the right decision just might be to walk away. If you end up in that mode like your brother then it is imperative that you work through healing - and grieving - the loss so you can get your life back. Unfortunately *destroying* you/us is exactly what these evil people want. I really hope your brother can find his way back to his life. He probably won't want to hear it or look into it but send him to the channel.
@@DSD I will Duane, I’m currently dealing with divorce but having to see him going through what he did I think being single is the only option some men see.
I think it is REALLY important to become comfortable being single. That is what really helps you create strong boundaries because you're not afraid of being alone. What I do see is people go through phases and on the other side of this then end up finding a good person to team up with. It's just sad that legally and societal getting in a relationship can be a dangerous move. The main key is to find peace in whatever direction you/he takes. What I mean is if you're in the mindset of "f all women I'm staying single" that isn't a healthy position to be in (well at least for the long term - completely understand at the early stages it's just a defense mechanism)
7:40 after many years experience in this ‘hobby’ my advice for your own sanity is to stop thinking of the narcissist and concentrate only on who matters and that’s yourself and your children (in that order).
Great to see you again Sir! As a women recovering from a divorce with a controlling narcissist- now co parent, your topics are spot on, transparent and healinge Thank you for your wisdom and perseverance… you help tremendously! God bless you!!
We recover, grow, and learn..unfortunately society doesn't......we can only be the best parents we can. I have never said 1 thing negative about the ex to my kids - the results are amazing
That is outstanding to hear northsouth and not the easiest thing to do! But the results are what is really important and you're seeing that. Hopefully as more people realize this and start to grow it will be enough that society does start to change...
For me, building boundaries was one part. But a more difficult thing was to care less about other people's feelings, or how they react. Being a people pleaser got me into a lot of trouble in the past. I also ceased contact with a lot of potential gfs after my divorce, because they set off the inner narc alert system. Especially in online dating.
Time… it takes A LOT of time. You can’t control the other person’s behavior. You are tougher than you think, and you CAN pick yourself up by your bootstraps. You have to be very clinical (easier said that done) in relation to a toxic co-parent. All business…
So true TC and well said. At the end of the day we typically have to pull ourselves out of this because no one else is going to be able to do it for us! You're so right about being clinical and how it is not the easiest thing in the world to do. The sad reality is you can NEVER let your guard down because they are always waiting for a way back in.
clinical, the right way to put it. Clinical, objective, and know things are not going to change. You look at things with a different pair of not so rose tinted glasses then - things do become easier, painful, but easier.
The only way is to block them out you’re life or you will never recover 💯having the mayhem,chaos , gaslighting and abuse always if you don’t block. That’s my advice. Hope to watch this when I get home :)
If you can that is the best course of action - and you have to be prepared in case they try to get back in because it's ALWAYS worse the next time around. If you have children with one though - it's makes it VERY complicated.
@@DSD Thankfully I don’t 🙏🏻 yes it does get worse , took him back 3 times and had to find the strength before I got really ill to leave and not look back. Thanks for the video it helps a great deal 🤗
I was just talking to someone the other day about the struggles of "trying again". I really think that _sometimes_ we *have* to go back to prove to ourselves that "yes that pan really is hot". Thanks so much for the support Sarah it is much appreciated!
I'm back to these channels, need a refresher, I did it again, fell for an abusive person again. Saw the red flags, got complacent and right back on the hamster wheel. Lol, much shorter . Being hyperviglant is not ideal but it's better than that crazy Rollercoaster. Rebuilding again but not like before. I have the tools and the knowledge. Thank you and God bless you. It gets better, evil exists and don't forget to remember. No contact is a wonderful place to be, peace is so good.
Hi Jennifer! Thanks so much and I hope you have an outstanding 2023! I'm really hopeful that this year is going to be transformative for a LOT of people!
Justice…for him to accept responsibility…closure. For me this is the hardest part to accept and move on from but I am trying with the help of your videos and a couple others. It is my therapy to remind myself one day everything’s gonna be alright. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Glad to be of help Work4dough - hang in there - this stuff sucks but it does get better and there really is hope for a better future after all of this. I think I'm an example of that!
Hi Duane, not sure if you will read this, but I used to watch your videos religiously. I was in a relationship that was extremely toxic and I believe fully I was with a narcissist. Your videos helped me a great deal. I just wanted to say thank you, because your videos were instrumental in helping me get the strength to leave the relationship. I left 2 and a half years ago and I have ignored a couple of attempts at him trying to contact me. I am in a much better place, one I at one time, never thought I'd reach. Thank you again. Sarah.
It's very helpful to listen to a man who is so sane and reasonable, after escaping from the 'cult of one' who spoke lies, confusion, and insanity. It's wonderful really. Just sorting the chaos and mindf, that's most of it.
@DSD, Duane, you are such a rock star! I hadn't watched any of your videos for a while, but needed to hear some of your wisdom again here lately. I just wanted to say thank you for your content, you are such an important help to so many silent victims that have experienced horrible situations with NPD's, Cluster B's, etc.. It's always helpful to see, hear and know about other good Men (and Women) who have/are going through similar experiences, especially when you are dealing with NPD's, as they are very sick people, who can make any rational person scratch their head and really question how and why they ever got connected with someone who is so full of toxicity and hatred. Keep up the great work and thanks for always being a rock of wisdom and experience in the world of NPD chaos and craziness. As you know, many of us are in different stages of the same journey, and it's always helpful and inspirational to see that you have come out the other end with great strength and resolve. Cheers to you and Debbie as you continue finding and creating true happiness again!
Having boundaries is great but these idiots will become abusive trying to break your boundaries. You have to run from these predators, one thing don’t ever overshare your personal information when dating , watch actions and believe what they say they usually let their masks slip. Hard part is we get so caught up in love feelings and needing companionship we let our guard down!
Great content. Thanks for posting about "repetition compulsion" and the underlying trauma that causes us to choose inappropriate partners. John Bradshaw has been really helpful as is Patrick Tehan. Hope this helps someone on here trying to "rebuild their life with worn out tools".
Thank you so much John! I don't think I've heard of Bradshaw but I do remember seeing Patrick's channel - even reached out to him early when he started (before he blew up).
I think my channel would have to explode for him to agree with that. When I asked to do that before he politely waived off. I'm hoping after my last child becomes an adult (8 months) that I can put more energy into the channel. Some things happened where I had to change my priorities - I'm hoping (like I said) that I'll be able to re-prioritize the channel toward the end of this year.
Thank you so much, it seems nearly impossible. I am working on this every day since May 2019 and I still have panic attacks and my body became so sick even if it is better it is still like being in hell. Have to go on.
Hi I enjoyed your videos when you first started your channel and have been off for awhile, now returning. Are you going back to publish Motivational Minute videos?
It's been a year and four months since my wife terminated our life together; had me arrested (I won trial), 3 yr final PFA with no evidence only allegations, no home, lost job, no contact with our now 7 yr old daughter, visitation/custody battle, divorce in progress....I have been rebuilding my life, and will continue to (got a good job), but what advice do you have for someone my age, 66 yrs? Time seems so short....
Daniel what I would say is make the most of every day that you have. I remember thinking that I could spend the rest of my life (however long that might be) angry and bitter at her and what happened or I could try to find even just a little bit of joy and peace in my life. I would do everything in my power to mitigate the chaos and drama that she is trying to instill in your life (and that of your daughter). Get as much time as you can with your daughter and spend ever second focused on the two of you. I know all of this is easier said than done - and I also know that once I made this realization it still took me another couple of years to really embrace and live that what I said above. When you can get to that point your life will definitely improve. Congratulations on winning the trail (but sorry you had to go through that). If you don’t mind me asking what is your relationship like with your 7yo?
@@DSD Thanks so much for your quick reply, Duane. We cared for our daughter from shortly after birth and adopted two years later. She has special needs, but is a miracle. She is my purpose and mission in life and being kept away from her is the most pain I have every suffered. I was VERY involved with my daughters life and care...her playmate, her cheerleader, attending almost every doctor appt (she has had several specialists through her life)...I was the one to hold her at examinations, blood draws, at the adoption court, she was a "daddy's girl"....at the park I would be with her on every slide and swing (she has balance issues)....it was my joy, but I did not want to spoil her, my utmost goal was to be a good parent, but good parenting necessitates teamwork, being on the same page with out undermining, demeaning and dismissing occurring. I then made a 1 second mistake when I quickly reacted to discipline my daughter during a hysterical tantrum while I was trying to get her in her car seat for therapy. My wife, for her own reasons, called the police and I was arrested for one admitted mistake, a hasty slap. We were set to care for our daughter, but my job eventually terminated me because I could not dispose that charge fast enough. Since I was exonerated, my wife has impeded all my efforts to be reunited with my daughter. There is now a G.A.L. ....I am hoping she comes through for my daughters best interest. Thanks for listening.
@@DSD I forgot to mention....the PFA is subject to any custody arrangement (so in essence it keeps my wife and I apart, which if fine), so I have been fighting since last April to get visitation and ultimately 50/50 custody. My stbe has impeded every hearing, creating obstacles to reunification. Next one is Feb 1. My therapist and lawyer and hopefully GAL all see the importance of reuniting with my daughter. I have completed all "requests" and more. Hopefully, this time reason will prevail.
Your right. I’m not getting any better She won’t admit what she did. She has her friends brainwashed. It doesn’t matter how bad she made me look. I’m doing that for her by trying to clear my name I’m right where she wants me to be. I just gotta take the L I don’t have kids with her so I’m lucky compared to what some people are dealing with. Guys out there would trade places with me in a second. Kids would make this so much harder. I need to look at this from a different angle and see
I've been discarded in May 2022 and he's not been hoovering yet. So no contact for almost 8 months now and it still hurts as if it just happened. No kids thank God. I have changed jobs and I am preparing to change cities as well. I need a clean slate, although I am a bit concerned about actually running from it?
You know just silence can be more painful than a hoover - but I do think it's worse when they come back around and play with your emotions and on the fantasy of what the relationship was (or SHOULD have been). If you are running from it to ignore it then that will ultimately cause you more problems - HOWEVER - if you use that space to truly heal from this experience then it will be worth it. Just watch for triggers to see if anything brings you right back to where you were (as if it just happened). That is the true gauge of how well you are really healing.
I left the town and home I had lived in for 17 years in order to escape the insidious nit picking, emotional abuse via porn addiction, dismissiveness, gaslighting (the I never said that thing), and condescending attitude of my ex husband. I thought I was running as well but the only way to get away from them is to truly physically get away. I finally found peace and no chaos by moving 3 hours away and my ex not knowing where I live. Best thing I ever did. I’m in a job that I love and starting to date. Healing is ongoing and I have found it in those who care about me, God, and my family. Sometimes running away is running for your life.
Thank you, Jackie! I am still in the blur, but with certain hope that things are getting better! Wish you well! Healing looks rather scary and this makes me feel and think that moving is working for me. I am attached to the ghost of my past relationship, clearly I still have a lot of work to do. Anxiety is here too, lots of it. Tough times, what can I say. Grateful for your support!
How do you handle the fact that the ex gets the right to have anyone drive your kids around? I’m having a very hard time getting past that. It may sound like a small issue to some, but this bothers me a ton and I can’t move on from it because I don’t trust anyone he will choose to be “competent.”
Hmm, well kind of but I do a pretty good job and keep boundaries and keeping things friendly. I guess one of my fears is being around a really bad neighbor that I can’t get away from. But I’ve never had it that bad. You?
I've been VERY lucky where I'm living right now - its a cul-de-sac that has been pretty good. We have "that one neighbor" but we all generally keep to ourselves BUT we also can reach out if there is a problem. It's been a good neighborhood since I have been here - 12 years now -
Put your sanity as priority. Walking away is sometimes the only option. And sadly at times it may include children as well. My brother painfully had to step away from his children that have been turned against him. It’s been a couple years and still hurts him so much I think he suffers from ptsd. I can see the pain in his eyes on birthdays and holidays. But he has been so badly damaged by the threats false reports smear campaign that he is emotionally and spiritually destroyed. He holds onto hope that one day they will realize he’s not the evil parent the “mom” says he is.
That is such a sad story Anonymously - I do understand and agree at some point the right decision just might be to walk away. If you end up in that mode like your brother then it is imperative that you work through healing - and grieving - the loss so you can get your life back. Unfortunately *destroying* you/us is exactly what these evil people want. I really hope your brother can find his way back to his life. He probably won't want to hear it or look into it but send him to the channel.
@@DSD I will Duane, I’m currently dealing with divorce but having to see him going through what he did I think being single is the only option some men see.
I think it is REALLY important to become comfortable being single. That is what really helps you create strong boundaries because you're not afraid of being alone. What I do see is people go through phases and on the other side of this then end up finding a good person to team up with. It's just sad that legally and societal getting in a relationship can be a dangerous move. The main key is to find peace in whatever direction you/he takes. What I mean is if you're in the mindset of "f all women I'm staying single" that isn't a healthy position to be in (well at least for the long term - completely understand at the early stages it's just a defense mechanism)
7:40 after many years experience in this ‘hobby’ my advice for your own sanity is to stop thinking of the narcissist and concentrate only on who matters and that’s yourself and your children (in that order).
Agreed! That is the key and exactly in that order!
You’re so genuine Duane. Been dropping in here for years now and always great to get visceral: Thank you.
A
Thanks so much for the support A I really do appreciate it!
Great to see you again Sir! As a women recovering from a divorce with a controlling narcissist- now co parent, your topics are spot on, transparent and healinge Thank you for your wisdom and perseverance… you help tremendously! God bless you!!
Hi Channel V' and thanks so much for the kind words. It's amazing how difficult a toxic narcissist makes everything. I'm glad to be of help!
We recover, grow, and learn..unfortunately society doesn't......we can only be the best parents we can. I have never said 1 thing negative about the ex to my kids - the results are amazing
That is outstanding to hear northsouth and not the easiest thing to do! But the results are what is really important and you're seeing that. Hopefully as more people realize this and start to grow it will be enough that society does start to change...
You are a great person. Thanks for existing
Thank you so much for that seya Diakite!
For me, building boundaries was one part. But a more difficult thing was to care less about other people's feelings, or how they react. Being a people pleaser got me into a lot of trouble in the past. I also ceased contact with a lot of potential gfs after my divorce, because they set off the inner narc alert system. Especially in online dating.
Time… it takes A LOT of time.
You can’t control the other person’s behavior. You are tougher than you think, and you CAN pick yourself up by your bootstraps.
You have to be very clinical (easier said that done) in relation to a toxic co-parent. All business…
So true TC and well said. At the end of the day we typically have to pull ourselves out of this because no one else is going to be able to do it for us! You're so right about being clinical and how it is not the easiest thing in the world to do. The sad reality is you can NEVER let your guard down because they are always waiting for a way back in.
clinical, the right way to put it. Clinical, objective, and know things are not going to change. You look at things with a different pair of not so rose tinted glasses then - things do become easier, painful, but easier.
The only way is to block them out you’re life or you will never recover 💯having the mayhem,chaos , gaslighting and abuse always if you don’t block. That’s my advice. Hope to watch this when I get home :)
If you can that is the best course of action - and you have to be prepared in case they try to get back in because it's ALWAYS worse the next time around. If you have children with one though - it's makes it VERY complicated.
@@DSD Thankfully I don’t 🙏🏻 yes it does get worse , took him back 3 times and had to find the strength before I got really ill to leave and not look back. Thanks for the video it helps a great deal 🤗
I was just talking to someone the other day about the struggles of "trying again". I really think that _sometimes_ we *have* to go back to prove to ourselves that "yes that pan really is hot". Thanks so much for the support Sarah it is much appreciated!
@@DSD agree 🤗💯
I'm back to these channels, need a refresher, I did it again, fell for an abusive person again. Saw the red flags, got complacent and right back on the hamster wheel. Lol, much shorter . Being hyperviglant is not ideal but it's better than that crazy Rollercoaster. Rebuilding again but not like before. I have the tools and the knowledge. Thank you and God bless you. It gets better, evil exists and don't forget to remember. No contact is a wonderful place to be, peace is so good.
Lookin' sharp Duane....Happy New Year
Thanks so much NorthSouth! Happy New Year to you too!
Thank you , I have watched you for years ,.Great advice as always....Best wishes for 2023 ...take care all...
Hi Jennifer! Thanks so much and I hope you have an outstanding 2023! I'm really hopeful that this year is going to be transformative for a LOT of people!
Justice…for him to accept responsibility…closure. For me this is the hardest part to accept and move on from but I am trying with the help of your videos and a couple others. It is my therapy to remind myself one day everything’s gonna be alright.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
Dude you are hitting homeruns with me. your story and advice is helping me feel better. Thank you thank you thank you. I need this 😢
Glad to be of help Work4dough - hang in there - this stuff sucks but it does get better and there really is hope for a better future after all of this. I think I'm an example of that!
Spot on as always , thanks Duane for all the good advice
Thank you for your support and watching Aparna!
Hi Duane. I realized I’m no longer on your mailing list. You’ve helped me so much, almost 10 years. I’m glad you’re doing well. Thank you, Tina
Thank you as always Dwayne. Another insightful video. Wishing you and all your family all the best for 2023.
Thank you so much for watching and the feedback Chris! I hope you have an *OUTSTANDING* YEAR!
@@DSD Thanks heaps Dwayne. Much appreciated.
Hi Duane, not sure if you will read this, but I used to watch your videos religiously. I was in a relationship that was extremely toxic and I believe fully I was with a narcissist. Your videos helped me a great deal. I just wanted to say thank you, because your videos were instrumental in helping me get the strength to leave the relationship. I left 2 and a half years ago and I have ignored a couple of attempts at him trying to contact me. I am in a much better place, one I at one time, never thought I'd reach. Thank you again. Sarah.
It's very helpful to listen to a man who is so sane and reasonable, after escaping from the 'cult of one' who spoke lies, confusion, and insanity. It's wonderful really. Just sorting the chaos and mindf, that's most of it.
Welcome back to the Tube!
@DSD, Duane, you are such a rock star! I hadn't watched any of your videos for a while, but needed to hear some of your wisdom again here lately. I just wanted to say thank you for your content, you are such an important help to so many silent victims that have experienced horrible situations with NPD's, Cluster B's, etc.. It's always helpful to see, hear and know about other good Men (and Women) who have/are going through similar experiences, especially when you are dealing with NPD's, as they are very sick people, who can make any rational person scratch their head and really question how and why they ever got connected with someone who is so full of toxicity and hatred. Keep up the great work and thanks for always being a rock of wisdom and experience in the world of NPD chaos and craziness. As you know, many of us are in different stages of the same journey, and it's always helpful and inspirational to see that you have come out the other end with great strength and resolve. Cheers to you and Debbie as you continue finding and creating true happiness again!
Tuning in to watch Happy New Year!!👍🏾
Hi Nelly thanks for tuning in! Happy New Year to you too!
So true. We focus on them, but once we turn focus on us we can get away.
So true and so difficult to actually do
Thank for getting my family back (The holy SEAER)
Hello mate, I've been watching your videos for some time now, several years, from the UK, your perspective and advice has been invaluable
Having boundaries is great but these idiots will become abusive trying to break your boundaries. You have to run from these predators, one thing don’t ever overshare your personal information when dating , watch actions and believe what they say they usually let their masks slip. Hard part is we get so caught up in love feelings and needing companionship we let our guard down!
Thank you 🙏 for posting this video and it’s subject matter. Very accurate and resonating.
Glad it was helpful Cajun Cracker Ranch!
Thanks for telling my story
Having children in this mix who stay with the abuser and become secondary abusers is so devastating because it’s ongoing
Great content. Thanks for posting about "repetition compulsion" and the underlying trauma that causes us to choose inappropriate partners. John Bradshaw has been really helpful as is Patrick Tehan. Hope this helps someone on here trying to "rebuild their life with worn out tools".
Thank you so much John! I don't think I've heard of Bradshaw but I do remember seeing Patrick's channel - even reached out to him early when he started (before he blew up).
@@DSD it would be great to see you both on a podcast together. Perhaps in the future.
I think my channel would have to explode for him to agree with that. When I asked to do that before he politely waived off. I'm hoping after my last child becomes an adult (8 months) that I can put more energy into the channel. Some things happened where I had to change my priorities - I'm hoping (like I said) that I'll be able to re-prioritize the channel toward the end of this year.
@@DSD 👍💌
Thank you so much, it seems nearly impossible. I am working on this every day since May 2019 and I still have panic attacks and my body became so sick even if it is better it is still like being in hell. Have to go on.
9:20 so important and I'm out 2,5 years already 😅
Hi I enjoyed your videos when you first started your channel and have been off for awhile, now returning. Are you going back to publish Motivational Minute videos?
I miss the narcissist stare......it really is hilarious
It would be interesting to experience that again now with the knowledge I have. But I haven’t found myself in that situation for years
You can always go to a pet store and have some psychopathic smirk eye contact with a snake if ya really need a fix ;-)
LOL that is hilarious TundraWomanSays!
It's been a year and four months since my wife terminated our life together; had me arrested (I won trial), 3 yr final PFA with no evidence only allegations, no home, lost job, no contact with our now 7 yr old daughter, visitation/custody battle, divorce in progress....I have been rebuilding my life, and will continue to (got a good job), but what advice do you have for someone my age, 66 yrs? Time seems so short....
Daniel what I would say is make the most of every day that you have. I remember thinking that I could spend the rest of my life (however long that might be) angry and bitter at her and what happened or I could try to find even just a little bit of joy and peace in my life. I would do everything in my power to mitigate the chaos and drama that she is trying to instill in your life (and that of your daughter). Get as much time as you can with your daughter and spend ever second focused on the two of you. I know all of this is easier said than done - and I also know that once I made this realization it still took me another couple of years to really embrace and live that what I said above. When you can get to that point your life will definitely improve. Congratulations on winning the trail (but sorry you had to go through that). If you don’t mind me asking what is your relationship like with your 7yo?
@@DSD Thanks so much for your quick reply, Duane. We cared for our daughter from shortly after birth and adopted two years later. She has special needs, but is a miracle. She is my purpose and mission in life and being kept away from her is the most pain I have every suffered. I was VERY involved with my daughters life and care...her playmate, her cheerleader, attending almost every doctor appt (she has had several specialists through her life)...I was the one to hold her at examinations, blood draws, at the adoption court, she was a "daddy's girl"....at the park I would be with her on every slide and swing (she has balance issues)....it was my joy, but I did not want to spoil her, my utmost goal was to be a good parent, but good parenting necessitates teamwork, being on the same page with out undermining, demeaning and dismissing occurring. I then made a 1 second mistake when I quickly reacted to discipline my daughter during a hysterical tantrum while I was trying to get her in her car seat for therapy. My wife, for her own reasons, called the police and I was arrested for one admitted mistake, a hasty slap. We were set to care for our daughter, but my job eventually terminated me because I could not dispose that charge fast enough. Since I was exonerated, my wife has impeded all my efforts to be reunited with my daughter. There is now a G.A.L. ....I am hoping she comes through for my daughters best interest. Thanks for listening.
@@DSD I forgot to mention....the PFA is subject to any custody arrangement (so in essence it keeps my wife and I apart, which if fine), so I have been fighting since last April to get visitation and ultimately 50/50 custody. My stbe has impeded every hearing, creating obstacles to reunification. Next one is Feb 1. My therapist and lawyer and hopefully GAL all see the importance of reuniting with my daughter. I have completed all "requests" and more. Hopefully, this time reason will prevail.
Your right. I’m not getting any better She won’t admit what she did. She has her friends brainwashed. It doesn’t matter how bad she made me look. I’m doing that for her by trying to clear my name I’m right where she wants me to be. I just gotta take the L I don’t have kids with her so I’m lucky compared to what some people are dealing with. Guys out there would trade places with me in a second. Kids would make this so much harder. I need to look at this from a different angle and see
I use to watch dexter
Such a lively fantasy world you have, Sir! ;-)
Not entirely sure what you mean by that does'nt matter - unless I unwittingly made a Dexter reference in this video?
I've been discarded in May 2022 and he's not been hoovering yet. So no contact for almost 8 months now and it still hurts as if it just happened. No kids thank God. I have changed jobs and I am preparing to change cities as well. I need a clean slate, although I am a bit concerned about actually running from it?
You know just silence can be more painful than a hoover - but I do think it's worse when they come back around and play with your emotions and on the fantasy of what the relationship was (or SHOULD have been). If you are running from it to ignore it then that will ultimately cause you more problems - HOWEVER - if you use that space to truly heal from this experience then it will be worth it. Just watch for triggers to see if anything brings you right back to where you were (as if it just happened). That is the true gauge of how well you are really healing.
I left the town and home I had lived in for 17 years in order to escape the insidious nit picking, emotional abuse via porn addiction, dismissiveness, gaslighting (the I never said that thing), and condescending attitude of my ex husband. I thought I was running as well but the only way to get away from them is to truly physically get away. I finally found peace and no chaos by moving 3 hours away and my ex not knowing where I live. Best thing I ever did. I’m in a job that I love and starting to date. Healing is ongoing and I have found it in those who care about me, God, and my family. Sometimes running away is running for your life.
Thank you, Jackie! I am still in the blur, but with certain hope that things are getting better!
Wish you well!
Healing looks rather scary and this makes me feel and think that moving is working for me. I am attached to the ghost of my past relationship, clearly I still have a lot of work to do. Anxiety is here too, lots of it. Tough times, what can I say.
Grateful for your support!
How do you handle the fact that the ex gets the right to have anyone drive your kids around? I’m having a very hard time getting past that. It may sound like a small issue to some, but this bothers me a ton and I can’t move on from it because I don’t trust anyone he will choose to be “competent.”
Great video but cant you turn that annoying music off ? And yes it does get better...Way better..But not for the Narc...Trust me...
But that's my podcast intro music! Yeah you're spot on the narc runs the field in the beginning but then pretty much always falls into chaos.
🤗🙏🕊🌞
Greetings Cindy! Hope you are doing well and Happy New Year!!!
@@DSD Have a wonderful New Year 🎉🎇🎊
@DSD Dwayne Have you ever had toxic /narcissistic neighbors?
Hmm, well kind of but I do a pretty good job and keep boundaries and keeping things friendly. I guess one of my fears is being around a really bad neighbor that I can’t get away from. But I’ve never had it that bad. You?
@@DSDnot yet but I've heard horrifying stories about narcissistic neighbors .
I've been VERY lucky where I'm living right now - its a cul-de-sac that has been pretty good. We have "that one neighbor" but we all generally keep to ourselves BUT we also can reach out if there is a problem. It's been a good neighborhood since I have been here - 12 years now -
Thank for getting my family back (The holy SEAER)
Thank for getting my family back (The holy SEAER)
Thank for getting my family back (The holy SEAER)