Why INFJs Tend to Overshare with People
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
- If you are an INFJ personality type you’ve had that experience of saying too much at the wrong time. Sometimes it happens with a casual friend, and sometimes it happens with a total stranger. It’s like the words just jump out of your mouth, and before you can stop them, you realize that you’ve said too much, and the person you are talking to has a confused and/or horrified look on their face.
Over-sharing is a tendency that is commonly reported by INFJ personality types, and it is one of the most frequent stumbling blocks in INFJ communication, and it can also cause INFJ personality types to retreat and withdraw in relationships. Many INFJs say, “I was talking to someone and said too much about my past.” Or, “I was talking to someone and said too much about my feelings.” Or, “I was talking to someone and said too much about something I saw in them.” Or even just, “I was talking to someone and I said something too weird.”
Usually, when this happens, the other person will have some sort of reaction that makes the INFJ personality type feel rejected in some way. The INFJ (or the other person) may even retreat entirely from the relationship for a little while. INFJ personality types always blame themselves when this happens, but a lot of the time it is not their fault. There are a few different reasons INFJs tend to over-share, and hardly any of them can really be helped. Watch the video to find out more.
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Oversharing = sharing my real opinion about something or someone and realizing I’m too intense for the person listening. They can’t just hear it and let it go. Oversharing = they tell me something deeply personal and feel totally safe about doing it but freak out if I share something similar from my side. Oversharing = misjudging how long someone else is prepared to give me in a conversation - it’s much shorter than I just gave them… Oversharing = pointing out something real I see about someone that they didn’t want to see… therefore, my analysis = just shut up.
oversharing? guilty as charged!
So many times I have asked someone close what was wrong and it only made them mad. I learned to stop asking questions. I just smile and let them talk. I loathe small talk, but I learned to get better at it to 'fit in.'
How to seek out a relationships when you are an introvert that enjoys being alone for days at a time? LOL
I am so glad I found your channel. I'm looking forward to the next class you create. The last one was a blast.
I told an intern my actual salary pay a couple of months ago that I regret.
Always avoid revealing your monthly pay to people.
As an older INFJ I can certainly relate to and appreciate these things on a personal level.
Understanding and learning to regulate the amount of information shared has been a struggle and a long journey for me personally and a very intense one in every area of life both good and bad for those close to me. Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed it👍
So helpful. I've just learned (at 67) that I'm INFJ and every video I watch I can relate to. You have such a conversational way of explaining things and the advice you give is helpful. Thank you.
Missed opportunity to say "like, OVERshare, and subscribe" 😂
Great vid tho 👌
Good one! 😆
I destroyed something that meant everything to me with this behavior. I wasn't fully aware of my nature at the time. Thanks so much for your insights.
I had to search why infj’s overshare because all i ever see is that “infj’s are private and don’t overshare” but I fit every characteristic except that and kept wondering if that means I’m not an infj. Really happy I found this video
We’re in tune with the human condition. We also display our vulnerabilities out of humility. That’s when we’re good. Or we could just be angry and annoyed with the world.
Well said! Even though i have 4-5 people i can overshare & be authentic with at least 1x per week, i still word vomit. I am the most thorough thinker/talker - i explore angles of truth inside & therefore outside - and I don't know how to verbally land the plane. It's almost impossible for me. If people are quiet and never insert their voice in the conversation, i might feel judged or incredibly exhausted, but continue to nervously talk to fill the air. I'm so uncomfortable with silence or perceived lack of effort. :/
This is so true I do the same and I lost friendships because of my this habit 😭…
Same here ❤
I hear you on all this!!
Being lonely, 100% of the time, doesn't help...
I am an INFP and I can totally relate to everything that you shared in this video. Thank-you so much! I’ve been watching your videos and they are deeply healing for me. 💜💚
I’m going to enlighten you whether you like it, or not.
With best intentions,
Your INFJ
it happens mostly when I meet extroverts or people who have externalized their problems such as (covert) narcs. asking them a question about themselves shifts causes of anything in their world to themselves, for which they have no sense for at all. hence their low self esteem. they just have egos and this ego needs to be fed with attention and praise in small talk. i love to overshare emotions and whenever i spot this personalities by that, i remove myself as quickly as possible.
Yesss!, let the Blame Games begin! This is all too familiar, Mother's milk, and being nursed on it had exactly the OPPOSITE effect with only VERY rare exception ; total eclipse, unanimous planetary alignment concurrent with a comet rare-THAT is when the "oversharing" tends to happen :( and my "normal" "friends" and family just can't handle a small dose of what they projectile vomit on any given day. And now, in my 50s, I find it nearly impossible to connect, to trust, to share ANYTHING, or be in the world in any real sense. "Mother did it need to be so high?"
NOT................anymore.
I do and don't care 😆. I go with the flow, if I feel a person's vibe is off because of it I try to keep my distance. Some people appreciate it. Yeah, anger is a difficult one to deal with.
I got a lot of problems with communication when i was younger because I didnt know i am Infj. Now, after knowing the difference between me and those around, i actually have high EQ. I keep distance from people, stop attentive and listening to those insensitive extrovert, so they will stop bothering me. And with those who I want to talk to, I use Fe mode, turn off Ni, and smooth out Ti. With small talk, i rather use pure Fe.
After learning about sensors, I no longer tell them the truth that Ni see. Because they cant understand it and gonna take it the wrong way. But the Intuitive type can relate and understand well. And they value our innovative perspective. NT type is fun to debate with. NF type is great to talk about psychology, life problems.
So, keep your mouth in watch when you’re with sensors
Such a great topic! ❤
Thank you Lauren. Needed this. I've read your books, you rock.
Oh yes...glad u made this video🙂
Thank you so much. This information is really new to me although I had been working on myself for years. Maybe this is the most important point for my future development. You are very helpful and you have such a nice way of explaining and structuring your content. All the best for you and your channel. 🧡
Thanks for your wisdom
Lauren, this is a really great and insightful channel for me. Thank you🙏✨️
I think I did this yeste😂rday (only cause its still the morning and I haven’t talked with anymore yet)
💫
7:36 Indeed, i am very honest n direct but ive learned to not be so direct because it has the tendency to make ppl salty n butthurt
If im too honest ill catch a broken jaw so u curve my words just a bit, its hard to be really honest with alot of ppl because of how they might react
Which is where the Judging comes in useful, also the Feeling is useful too and the Introverted thinking as well, by combining the two i use them to figure out how my words will effect them emotionally and usin my noodle i come up with alot of potential outcomes
Its kinda confusing but its super helpful in avoiding bad potential situations lol
This is unrelated but to anyone with a ps4 lookin for good building games id strongly recommend portal knights, trove, dragon quest builders 1 n 2 and minecraft
I really don't talk much but if I get comfortable with the person I always seem to say something I wish I wouldn't of like the words just come out on their own
I have a dark sense of humor
Fast example - was laughing talking to a couple guys I said something more everyone hitting the floor laughing
Then out of no where I add another comment about a guy there others laugh but he on the other hand now calls me
Doink the Clown... 1993 wrestler he played cruel jokes on people
Is there a group or something for us in this day and age? People that get it
I'm like an alien, i do love probing ppl 😄😄😄👾👽
Sharing is caring
Super helpful. Too bad your target audience consists of the rarest personality type.
Oh my goodness, I feel so self-conscious about my propensity to overshare (opinions/perspective/experience/quandaries/crisis). 🫣 I can tell it’s hard for other people and they definitely don’t understand my intentions behind it.
👽weird lol i am weird 👽