Of course women are going to like this. "Men, take responsibility and support a woman". Yeah...not so much. Women want equality? Support yourself. Maybe women should learn how to take more responsibility?
Ive been raped, abused as child, no father, self hatred and depression, destroyed every carrier opportunity, was addicted todrugs and alcohol, 3 years of J.P. later, im not a victim, im a builder and a healer, i never tought i would find so much potential in me, ill win this life no matter what...
I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all that pain growing up. My heart hurts for you, I can't hold back the tears. You are outstanding for being resilient. Stay strong. #OneLove
Getting rid of victim mentality is what saved my life. I suffered a lot of trauma, depression and anxiety in my 21-year life but i realised that my happiness is MY responsibility. I can either complain and wallow in my misery forever or fight for happiness DESPITE all the bad things that happened to me. It is possible. I know it's really hard to understand for a person who is suffering. Some would even be offended by what i said. But getting rid of victim mentality and taking your own happiness into your own hands is the best that can happen to you. Re-living the trauma and other bad stuff over and over again doesn't bring anything good in your life. It makes you drown even more. Don't let trauma and bad experiences take over your life.
@@Ronaldo-cj4zl I can assure you that based off of what they wrote this person has relived that past traumas enough to know the answer to that question.
You're right, very few people actually care about your happiness. It is up to you and congratulations for working on yourself. Others will perceive your working on yourself as happiness and thus treat you differently but don't let this sway you from your track of true happiness.
@@mikehayward1377 well even if they care, they cannot cure you. they can only support you on your way to healing. also its kinda toxic to expect other people to fix your problems
@@t5396 This was a while ago so I'm not sure what exactly my thoughts were about this. . but I think I meant that the people playing the victim convince themselves that it's necessary.. I don't know man 😁✌
"The sense of meaning that life can provide to you is proportionate to the amount of responsibility you decide to take on." that bit is all I needed from this video
Throughout these 100 or so Peterson videos that I have personally watched, I received the same vibe from this guy, although he does point things out that I should have been aware of myself...
Jonas Hjerpe 🙄 I dont think that persons comment was meant as a chance for them (or you) to show how much anyone knew about the structure of education system.
@finalfantasy8911 the point is no matter what happens to you the only sustainable way out of the suffering is to make yourself useful. In a way that benefits you and other people. If that means somehow trying to increase the chances that something horrible doesn't happen to someone else then that is something meaningful. Basically truly good people take responsibility for themselves, which then allows them to then take on more responsibility. If you go about it the right way people will value you and respect you because your existence is actually making lives better, even if it is on a small scale, that's something to be proud of.
Way to Mars That comment shows how misinformed you are and how little research you actually do. You are nothing but a psuedo-intellectual who thinks they’re smart but is actually stupid telling others they possess a make believe reality, when you do yourself. It seems YOUR world isn’t representative of the entire world and that angers you.
I don't think people understand what responsibility actually is, and how it works. It is not a thing hoisted upon people by society and artificial economic systems. It is your RESPONSIBILITY to strengthen yourself, and defend yourself. You can NEVER allocate that responsibility to someone else, because the result is that you will be harmed. The police do not actually protect anyone. Instead, they offer a very *mild* form of retribution after the fact. Don't want to be attacked in any way? STRENGTHEN YOURSELF, and learn SELF DEFENSE, and/or acquire and brandish a weapon. Earning a living is NOT something society invented. If you are on a desert island BY YOURSELF, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to work in order to feed yourself. That might mean fishing, hunting, gardening, foraging for berries, etc. You cannot and will not ever escape responsibility for yourself, and any attempts to try will result in your conquest and/or death. We don't need money, and no one ever did. What we need is to work, and trade our products and services to other people. If you refuse to take the responsibility to hone a skill with which to trade with others, then you will suffer the consequences by being excluded from access to the products and services of other people whose intelligence you could "borrow" to enhance your own survival and prosperity. This is not a philosophy. This is our environment. This is biology. This is just how it is. Humans prey on the weak. Weakness is a crime against nature, which it punishes mercilessly and relentlessly from all available sources. From war between nations, to the battle of your immune system repelling tiny animalculae invaders.. you will be subject to the laws of nature, whether you like it or not. THAT is what "responsibility" is.
@Way to Mars why because they don’t agree with you? People know things are messed up but the only person that can truly change it is yourself, go to therapy confront your demons and MOVE ON!!!!!
Yes, you see it in a lot of political propoganda that focuses on tearing the opponents down and deflecting from their own misdeeds. The highest in office have not been taking responsibility for their ill-conceived, haphazard ideas.
@@danieloloughlin8768 Good on you man! Glad to hear it. I was very similar when I was younger. Shy and easy to pick on and easy to get a “yes” from. Over the past few years I’ve worked on becoming less agreeable to be able to stand up for myself and life is so much better for me and for the people around me. I’m glad to hear someone else is turning their life around in a similar way
Now that's victim mentality. Why have a conversation about philosophy or such things when you are there to enjoy things with your friends? You don't have to pretend to be a smartass all the time. Learn to appreciate all kinds of conversations.
Ya then its like what the heck.Not the answer your looking for.If they say your weird it sounds like they offer an instant solution too,as if to say "drop it thats overthinking it or talking like that not excepting your life in the way we have it.
@@svetlinsofiev6729 I think you should have friends you can talk about these things with every now and then.. should every conversation be about the meaning of life? probably not. But if they shut you down immediately they've got some work left to do and they may be running away from it.
Not to mention it's also highly narcissistic behavior and people falling for it can't necessarily even realize what they're doing, because it's really the easiest path imaginable. Self-victimization should be criminalized for all I care, although I don't think we'll ever see anything like that happen.
"How to kill a narcissist" Good read. Narcissists victimize themselves and attempt a guilt trip after their accusations fail. You will chase them away with reason lol. It's the easiest way to detect narcissistic personality disorder.
Concerning your daughter Mr. Peterson, You did well, extremely well!! I just watched your interview with her about your own troubles over the last year. Wow what a woman! Good job sir to you and your wife. I wish the best life has to offer to your whole family.
Life is like poker. Everyone gets dealt a hand at the poker table, and it’s random. You can’t complain to the dealer to give you “better” cards. You gotta take a risk, put your chips in the pot, and hope for a good flop. The message is to find a way to carve out a decent life for yourself without complaining that everyone else has it better than you, or believing that other people owe you something. Accept where you are, set realistic instead of delusional goals, and enjoy it.
T P T even if you make the optimal move each hand, you can still lose it all. But your odds of long term success increase with each optimal move, compounded over time.
My father has an undeniable victimhood mentality that my family has been dealing with for a long time. Which is ironic because I in turn now have a victimhood mentality for always having to deal with his attitude. I guess the cycle can sometimes repeat itself, although I hope it does not.
The first 30 seconds-- TRUTH BOMB. I want to tell this to minorities who identify as SJWs. We're all human, and you're not different from a white person, or a straight person, or whoever. And I'm black, and think the victim mentality is delaying progress of those people's lives.
I was listening to black people complain about whites talking about tanning. It reminded me of a young black woman who told me that "no one wants to be black." In other words, being black is a disability in the USA, Europe, Asia, Australia and Latin America too, I believe. Should it be officially recognized as such by the government? I suppose it is in a way -- that was what affirmative action was supposed to address. However, there has been this reaction against it that says "you are not disabled because we don't discriminate. (See the supreme court chief justice.)
We need to pray for this man to stay safe and protected, for he is speaking the truth in the face of the dark forces and their establishments...May Lord Jesus bless you Mr. Peterson and guide you in His light and truth! Stay safe...
Pinocchio actually parallels the reality of how most SJW's fall into their states of victimhood, he has a parent that doesn't prepare him for the harsh realities of life thus leaving him open to be moulded by others like Stromboli and Honest John who have their own agenda for him. Pinocchio only achieves his goal of becoming a real boy at the end of the film because he abandons his victim hood status and takes responsibility for his actions.
@Sigma Nayo I was raised as a single mother, a lot of your assumepions are rather valid. I was never a hard sjw type, but I had a lot of the victim traits which have dragged me down over the years. I'm doing much better these days after reading and listening to Dr. Peterson.
@@KENNETHTXMMA Someday you will understand that everything you wrote the is false and comes from a false place. It's not incorrect in your mindset as it it now. It makes a lot of sense as it is based by your experiences and believes. The thing is if you had different experiences you would think differently. The magic is that you don't need to believe what you believe. The only person or being that cares about all this is you. And you believing it makes it truth for you. At this moment. If you decide ever that it's enough and you want to try something else, eventually you will see that it can be much different than that. There is no pursuit. No chase. You don't need to think about being attractive or unattractive as it's only a false mindset you have about something that surrounds you.
I have a chronic illness that keeps me largely bedbound and pushing yourself to your limit is the only way you’ll know what you can do. But living close to that edge can be detrimental to your health
I was looking for something to help my interactions with another person. And yet, as I watched, I realized that I can't. In the place of a long explanation, she's lost. Trapped in a vicious cyclone. I can try to help, but I've been doing that for years. I needed to hear this lecture. To understand a part of a person that they don't understand themselves. And also to motivate myself as a non-victim.
Ever since I discovered that I had a victim mentality I make every effort not to put myself in situations where I feel victimized. It starts by putting myself and needs first then taking accountability for my life. I have all of the power.
Years ago I used too self loath, my dad saw me as an object and controlled everything I did. I understood it when I did do things wrong, that’s called discipline, but it confused me when I didn’t do anything wrong and got put down.
I'm gonna' be honest, watched all of his biblical series like 5 times over, watched much of his Maps of meaning... all spectacular... but the whole Pinocchio one just stuck with me, it was masterfully good and has resonated with me since.
Respect to you though for being open minded enough to consider that as a possibility! it’s far easier to pin the blame on a situation we had no control over. We have to just accept our reality and do our best with it, holding our integrity. Keep working hard on yourself, we can all become our potential if we strive to take the necessary and moral steps. good on u for being brave xx
I am a 34 yr old ADHD, ENTP bipolar... I am so grateful for this beautiful life and my greatest achievement in life is being the son of an angel I call mom. This cuts deep.... I so badly WANT to be better and take responsibility etc but I'm scared I don't know how... AND if by some miracle I did.. Would I even know I am if someone didn't tell me?
Sometimes people go through tough circumstances. That doesn't mean every person is intentionally trying to be abused from childhood. Remember we don't choose our circumstances. But I agree you should try to improve it as much as possible. Also not every person is trying to play the victim. Sometimes they just need time to get over the trauma. Every person has that right. Feel free to comment on my comments. Have a good day!!!!
This is my sister 100%. Don't let yourself become a toxic, entitled, self-centered victim. You always have choices and you are always responsible for yourself and your life.
There are two ways of living a life. One way is deeming self as a victim. You don’t have to take responsibility for your behavior and thoughts. It’s easy. The price you pay for it is that you would have no meaning for life. Another path is taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and beliefs. It’s difficult. You would have meaning as much responsibility as you take.
The Narcissist is so good at making their partner feel insufficient & worthless - years of subtle manipulation by just one person in your life can get deep inside your head . Life can be many things - joyous, rewarding, confusing, difficult, & heart-breaking when u finally figure out you are not loved as a person by your partner - merely an object to be used & victimised - not all victims can "snap out of that darkness" - not all victims are bad people.
my ex-wife enables the kids, afraid of their reactions, wants them to never enter that mode of responsibility...and it scares the fox out of me cause I want them to grow independent and strong
Don’t worry man... my mom did the exact thing with me JP was talking about and I came out all right. I used to stay home from school almost every other day. I do have fibromyalgia-my sister also passed away when I was in school, so she just gave in, but I grew up and had to work hard. I surprise myself all the time by how far I’ve come. I still complain a lot, but I do right by my family and I’m satisfied in life. Eh, nobody is perfect ya know?
banana mine suffered a terrible childhood with abusive, awful parents. The stuff she went through was unimaginable... it definitely shows that her parenting has compensated for that. You just gotta remember that they mean well.
Mine too. I had figured it out but haven't talked about it often, because it's too harsh a truth to vocalize that your parents don’t want you to grow up and success. They shamed us about it and at the same time encouraged laziness. That worked for a long time!
some people use it in reference to the "men going their own way", movement however its origins are within a scene from the matrix, ruclips.net/video/zQ1_IbFFbzA/видео.html
Every damn time this guy uncovers somethings about my life that I was kinda aware of and makes all the problems clear. he's really experienced, knows what he's talking about. Damn.
Better to be a "survivor" than a "victim" as there's so much victim blaming, shaming, misuse of the word to make false claims or avoid responsibility and a lack of trauma informed practise to support genuine victims.
I have stage 4 cancer but know of so many people who have survived stage 4 cancer implementing various lifestyle changes along with chemotherapy and other traditional treatments. I changed family doctors (for obvious reasons) but right off the bat and my new doctor initially tried to paint me as a victim. I don't fault him since it was frustrating for him to see how incompetent my previous doctor appeared and because we live in such a litigious culture that it actually pays to be a victim. However, most people who survive cancer don't dwell on how they've been wronged. They take the bull by the horn and advocate for themselves. If something doesn't work or a doctor doesn't want to do what the patient wants, the patient moves on quickly because, with cancer, time is of the essence.
After being "discarded" by a friend with Peterson's book on 12 rules for life on their shelf as they demonstrate a COMPLETE LACK OF ABILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, it is very emotional for me to hear this speech. Peterson is right in that taking responsibility is one of the best ways to "empower" yourself, or feel like you matter. And the clear lack of taking responsibility while hiding behind a facade of reading Peterson's insights and being an insightful person is such a manipulative move that I wish none of you ever experience such dissonant relationships.
I was just sitting here thinking, "wait, isn't this supposed to be a university lecture? it's more like a motivational speech, or spiritual guidance, than a class on some academic subject" It just hit me that, generally, the only reason I pursue online lectures is because I'm trying to get to grips with a subject I'm studying but that is confusing the hell out of me. Outside of this I'm not trying to watch lectures for subjects I'm 'not' studying. But with Prof JP it is an entirely different matter. I have been seeking out his lectures for around 4 years ever since, by chance, I listened to one of the lectures because its title pointed to some introspection that I had been doing for about three years. I'm essentially coming to him to have my thoughts and conclusions dismantled and examined. And looking for a way to improve my current circumstances or to see if I'm sabotaging my relationships and, if so, how so. Imagine that; attending university lectures, not so much because you want to study in some field, or hope to be qualified to start some career, but because you want to address issues in your personal life, or you want to learn what science has discovered about the human psyche so you can use the information to your benefit. I've said it before, JP might have his detractors, but I seriously envy the students that had direct access to this man in the lecture halls. Discovered him when I was 44, now I'm 48 and keep coming back. I get the feeling I'll be returning for a long time.
@Printinghouse Imp Yeah, those personal attacks he has received have always baffled me. I've been left thinking that if they only sat down to listen to one of his lectures on the whole human narrative they might find it hard to find fault. But just that 'very thin' category of beliefs that he dismantled and it's unbridled outrage. As for the thoughts you grappled with, I honestly feel that anybody who has been down that rabbit hole, once they heard Peterson, would get a lot of clarification. What struck me, is that he had been down there for 40+ years, in addition to all his studies. We went down the rabbit hole, but he lived there, he's basically the guide.
One Alexandra In this case I believe You can't judge those, who have any severe health problems, so your statement can apply to You, but in any particular case it can be misleading.
vitalino1981 it is in line with what Jordan Peterson says. I am not judging anybody. Chronic pain involves a lot of suffering and limitations in life like me I cannot eat whatever I wish to, nor do sports I like or dance etc...Pain exhausts you enormously...and yet you need to find strategies to cope, enjoy at least some moments and not to enter into victimhood because that is not empowering. Good luck to you and all who suffer physically or mentally.
Jordan Peterson suffers with Depression! Lots of people with severe disability complete some extra ordinary physical challenges! Are they victims, do they use their severe illness as an excuse?
My criticism of Dr Peterson is rarely with what he says, but with what he DOESN’T say. Absolutely you must always push as hard as you can against your limitations. However, the end result of each person’s level of functionality and accomplishment will not be the same. We are individuals. We have different tolerances, strengths, and challenges. For someone with chronic pain, severe depression and high neuroticism, maybe just being able to complete a full day at school is an enormous accomplishment. Being able to actually engage in the day may be beyond his/her capacity. But now the door is open to say, “Johnny has cancer but he passed the Chem final. What’s your excuse?” That is not helpful. It’s actually discouraging. But it’s how many people listening will ultimately apply this little nugget of Peterson’s wisdom. And that’s the problem. He fails to caution people about the danger of being ignorantly judgmental and condemning someone without really understanding everything at play. He is silent about how counterproductive it can be to ridicule someone and minimize their efforts when they are genuinely struggling against their challenges. When he neglects to warn against the harmfulness of judging people we don’t really understand, he encourages a mob mentality and creates bullies who feel justified in deciding who deserves respect in the world and who deserves scorn. These people see themselves as superior to, and more deserving than others who aren’t able to reach the same level of functioning. Remember, we aren’t talking about criminals, we’re talking about people who are genuinely suffering and trying to live the best lives they can so be very careful folks! Honest effort can be invisible to you. Peterson’s advice is great for the individual it applies to, but when the group gets the idea it’s ok to be the “character police,” then we have a real problem.
Kelly Daubert Im having trouble understanding what you’re saying about how it effects the group. In your scenario about the person with cancer passing the chem final, when has Jordan Peterson ever made an analogy or implied that this is how you should go about treating and judging everybody? Also - is it implied that if you do bear your own cross and try to lift yourself up out of your own painful existence that you are now judging everyone else who doesn’t?
I was listening to black people complain about whites talking about tanning. It reminded me of a young black woman who told me that "no one wants to be black." In other words, being black is a disability in the USA, Europe, Asia, Australia and Latin America too, I believe. Should it be officially recognized as such by the government? I suppose it is in a way -- that was what affirmative action was supposed to address. However, there has been this reaction against it that says "you are not disabled because we don't discriminate. (See the supreme court chief justice.)
He's talking about how an individual handles their own world, and you make it about comparing yourself to others. It seems you've gone out of your way to misinterpret. He's not talking about judging anyone. He says make things as good as you can. As GOOD as YOU CAN. Your criticism are based in the excuses people who dont want to try offer to the world.
You sound confused, perhaps to do with your own issues. Having accountable for self, and other's should not cause us to be without compassion, in fact the opposite. Many people encourage and lift other's up while improving themselves also. You are choosing the glass half empty attitude.
Kelly Daubert Totally agree with you Kelly... but when I heard this video I initially assumed Peterson was talking about a common cold.. He knew his daughters illness so he could make an informed judgement on what he thought she could achieve. He is the Father & he knows his daughter best, combine his knowledge on the illness & he can make an informed decision. I agree with what he has said yes, I don’t beleive it creates a mob mentality though.. Surely people are not so judgemental on what others can/can’t achieve in thier capacity. If they are well it shows a deep narrow mindedness .
A dear friend of mine had a near fatal accident when she was around 18 years old. She was in coma for weeks. The recovery process was long and painful. I met her after this episode when she was again back on her feet. Unfortunately, nobody in her surroundings came up with suggesting a psychological therapy to go along the physical one. The impact her accident had in her family is noticeable when you see how close her younger and older siblings became. They have alienated her. Her parents allow her to get away with anything, they became overprotective with her. She's unable to justify or elaborate on an opinion or decision when you ask her straight forward for her reasons. She blames bad luck, she says. She cannot last longer than a few months in a job. Nothing is her fault, everything is done to her. They fire her all the time because they are mean, she never practices self-critic to see why they'd choose to let her go. She has no goal or interest in starting anything on her own. She lives for the day still under her parents roof. Meanwhile, her siblings are well functioning adults who are economically and emotionally independent. My heart breaks for her. I've told her many times she should consider taking a psychological therapy. That is never too late. She's 36 now and still as stagnant as ever. She acknowledges there's something off with her but never manages to take action. She ultimately justifies her lack of action as a simple bad luck and stays right where she is. At home doing nothing. Her family seems to have stopped expecting anything at all from her. And as a consequence, she doesn't either. I'd love to hear Professor Peterson's opinion on this (he's a very busy guy off course so it won't happen.) I'm just her friend, she's a good and kind person. I can't take any decisions for her other than to hear her and give her my two cents...
@@KateStantonSings Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you managed to get the help to snap out of helplessness and to take responsibility in your life. What you say about hitting rock bottom.... that's what I fear about my friend. I fear a tragedy must happen, something that shakes her comfortable world definitely, in order for her to open her eyes and do something. But I mean, there shouldn't be the need of that. I'm not sure whether she's emotionally stable to go through another trauma.
bullied for years, had an alcoholic dad at home and got dumped by a guy who i knew was bad for me from the beginning i am so tired of being miserable and not doing anything meaningful in my life i’ve sat at home for about 2 years i’m so tired of this and i’m ready to change
It's just so hard to swallow this information, because being honest with yourself can be a really painful process. If only you could shut off your ego at will, then life would be so much more peaceful.
Awesome content - Destroying victim mindsets is so important! It's something I discuss in the latest video on my channel as well, & providing a blueprint for my child on how to be tough & not embody victim mentalities. Thank you for the content.
Jordan sometimes talks about Nietzsche, I am suprised he didn't even mention him here! This victim mentality is something Nietzsche saw in his time too and he called it "Sklavenmoral" or "Slave morality".
I absolutely agree with Jordan Peterson. I am so sick and tired of victimhood that many people around the world are behaving absolutely disgusting. The victim mentality symbolises immaturity, laziness, low self-esteem and weakness. I literally cringe so hard when some of these whiny snowflakes play the victim because it is so embarrassing, so fake and so stupid. A victim means someone innocent who gets murdered by a violent thug for no reason. Just because some random stranger gave you a mean look or they insulted you or they disagreed with you that does not mean your oppressed. Also just because you escaped from an abusive toxic relationship from someone whether if it’s your boss, your coach, your family members, your friends, your lover, your mentor, your spouse and your teacher that does not mean your a victim that makes you a survivor big difference. Every human being around the world needs to have gratitude, maturity and responsibility in life period.
I feel bad for people that have suffered serious trauma throughout their lives. Particularly childhood. Multiple nights without food. Beaten by drunken parents. Etc. I don't even know what to tell such genuine victims. But what gets me frustrated as heck is people who grew up in middle class homes with loving parents that act like they had it so bad off because they got yelled at for being bad or because they had to spend a whole 6 hours a day at school or because mom and dad didn't buy them the most expensive toy sold during Christmas. EVERYBODY has to go through those things! Yet they're always looking for someone else to blame. It's reasons like that Jordan had to give this lecture and Essential Truth had to post this video.
This is very well summed up in the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible whether you are religious or secular it's a book of wisdom from the natural world, and the author Solomon does related to the spiritual world, but it's about the pursuit of meaning and pleasure
Its a viscous cycle to it seems. You only become strong from being accountable and growing from the experience. Some would call it pain, but that depends on the emotion you frame it in I guess, negative or positive. If your hardships are framed as blessings, that if it doesn't hurt you it grows you and you evolve, then you will be stronger for facing your truths. However In todays society people have developed egotistical ways through their lack of consequence, strength, honesty with themselves, call what you will. Ultimately the ego doesn't protect you, paradoxically it weakens you and makes your mindset more fragile, as you always have an expectation to hit because you have tied your identity to an ego. When you don't hit that expectation you're almost giving others the power to effect your emotion based on their criticism of you. You may become so fragile that you don't want people to see you look bad at something, because you're ego wouldnt be able to handle it.
I think sometimes people take a break not want to do things. is because of intense anxiety. sometimes even do not know that the anxiety exist. the best things is be aware of anxiety. and do slowly. start from small...For me it is the case. when I identify the cause and get a bit better. I laugh at myself for being so scared. Therefore I think people not working all lives may have serious mental illness.
Narcissists are excellent actors/ actresses. They really know how to give a performance, and people are mesmerised by their fake charm and innocence. It's leaves the victim's feeling deflated, bewildered and confused. It's hard to change people's perception of the Narcissist, because they are so convincing in playing victim, and tainting you as the abuser. Beware of perpetrators in disguise.. Some people set fires wherever they go. and have mastered the art of playing the burn victim.
This man is wonderful, try looking into his family's history, it's all there for you to find out, his whole family have passed through tremendous difficulties in order to win through and conquer and reign in life. Praise God Almighty for people like Prof Peterson and his family, praise God indeed, I love these people.
I've been watching some videos on this and it's just wild to think about how easy it is to flip yourself into the victim role and lose control of your own life
If i have a panic disorder, and sometimes I have panic attacks, very severe, so I'm forced to retreat from some sorts of activity, does it count as using my state as an excuse?
No, you are not making excuses. Anyone who experiences true panic attacks understands that we sometimes have to temporarily retreat from triggering events in order to recover and let the panic subside. The import thing is to never stop the healing process by gently pushing ourselves to do the important things in life despite the panic. When we stop trying all together because of the possibility of a panic attack that would be giving up or making an excuse, adopting a victim mentality. I feel that the responders here are being too quick to judge. Panic attack can bring on very powerful physiological reactions. Take care of yourself and your needs.
vitalino1981 You need to systematically deal with the issue. Systematic desensitisation.. The pyramid of fear. Look it up. Geoff Thompson : Dealing with Fear is a starting point. ruclips.net/video/aE0pRMtQeu0/видео.html
I love this!
😍
Of course women are going to like this. "Men, take responsibility and support a woman". Yeah...not so much. Women want equality? Support yourself. Maybe women should learn how to take more responsibility?
why
@@YTSparty it's equality when it's convenient
This guy is a freakin’ rockstar! He’s using freaking Pinocchio to teach!
Ive been raped, abused as child, no father, self hatred and depression, destroyed every carrier opportunity, was addicted todrugs and alcohol, 3 years of J.P. later, im not a victim, im a builder and a healer, i never tought i would find so much potential in me, ill win this life no matter what...
I'm so sorry that you had to deal with all that pain growing up. My heart hurts for you, I can't hold back the tears. You are outstanding for being resilient. Stay strong. #OneLove
I am so proud of you!! Well done!
Stay strong!!!
You got this bro! After pain, there’s power ⚔️
Good man, keep it up!
Getting rid of victim mentality is what saved my life. I suffered a lot of trauma, depression and anxiety in my 21-year life but i realised that my happiness is MY responsibility. I can either complain and wallow in my misery forever or fight for happiness DESPITE all the bad things that happened to me. It is possible. I know it's really hard to understand for a person who is suffering. Some would even be offended by what i said. But getting rid of victim mentality and taking your own happiness into your own hands is the best that can happen to you. Re-living the trauma and other bad stuff over and over again doesn't bring anything good in your life. It makes you drown even more. Don't let trauma and bad experiences take over your life.
I agree with what your saying but re-living past trauma can teach you if your willing and brave enough to learn from it
@@Ronaldo-cj4zl I can assure you that based off of what they wrote this person has relived that past traumas enough to know the answer to that question.
You're right, very few people actually care about your happiness. It is up to you and congratulations for working on yourself. Others will perceive your working on yourself as happiness and thus treat you differently but don't let this sway you from your track of true happiness.
@@mikehayward1377 well even if they care, they cannot cure you. they can only support you on your way to healing. also its kinda toxic to expect other people to fix your problems
You learned and applied that at 21, good for you, you are way ahead!
Only when you take responsibility for your circumstances can you be empowered enough to change them.
Michael Baird Not true for some but a great message for those playing the victim when it's unnecessary.
I want to and strive to live by this. Man up. Take on anything. Overcome everything.
@@Lynxchillin08 when is "playing the victim" ever necessary? When you're trying to extort resources or attention from others?
@@wojciechklisz8597 good luck with that.
@@t5396 This was a while ago so I'm not sure what exactly my thoughts were about this. . but I think I meant that the people playing the victim convince themselves that it's necessary.. I don't know man 😁✌
"The sense of meaning that life can provide to you is proportionate to the amount of responsibility you decide to take on." that bit is all I needed from this video
That is written on my wall in my kitchen. So wise and so much truth to it.
To be fair, he said "It MAY be that the sense of meaning that life can provide [...]"
imagine being an actual student in this man's class.
i think i would sign up for a phd, just to stay there
credence7777777 You might as well go to AA sessions.
Throughout these 100 or so Peterson videos that I have personally watched, I received the same vibe from this guy, although he does point things out that I should have been aware of myself...
@@SteveSmekar-ll6ln What vibe is that?
Jonas Hjerpe 🙄 I dont think that persons comment was meant as a chance for them (or you) to show how much anyone knew about the structure of education system.
ruclips.net/video/cFbK6MHTJZg/видео.html
I choose responsibility, and a meaningful life.
@finalfantasy8911 the point is no matter what happens to you the only sustainable way out of the suffering is to make yourself useful. In a way that benefits you and other people. If that means somehow trying to increase the chances that something horrible doesn't happen to someone else then that is something meaningful. Basically truly good people take responsibility for themselves, which then allows them to then take on more responsibility. If you go about it the right way people will value you and respect you because your existence is actually making lives better, even if it is on a small scale, that's something to be proud of.
Way to Mars That comment shows how misinformed you are and how little research you actually do. You are nothing but a psuedo-intellectual who thinks they’re smart but is actually stupid telling others they possess a make believe reality, when you do yourself. It seems YOUR world isn’t representative of the entire world and that angers you.
I don't think people understand what responsibility actually is, and how it works. It is not a thing hoisted upon people by society and artificial economic systems. It is your RESPONSIBILITY to strengthen yourself, and defend yourself. You can NEVER allocate that responsibility to someone else, because the result is that you will be harmed. The police do not actually protect anyone. Instead, they offer a very *mild* form of retribution after the fact. Don't want to be attacked in any way? STRENGTHEN YOURSELF, and learn SELF DEFENSE, and/or acquire and brandish a weapon.
Earning a living is NOT something society invented. If you are on a desert island BY YOURSELF, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to work in order to feed yourself. That might mean fishing, hunting, gardening, foraging for berries, etc. You cannot and will not ever escape responsibility for yourself, and any attempts to try will result in your conquest and/or death.
We don't need money, and no one ever did. What we need is to work, and trade our products and services to other people. If you refuse to take the responsibility to hone a skill with which to trade with others, then you will suffer the consequences by being excluded from access to the products and services of other people whose intelligence you could "borrow" to enhance your own survival and prosperity.
This is not a philosophy. This is our environment. This is biology. This is just how it is. Humans prey on the weak.
Weakness is a crime against nature, which it punishes mercilessly and relentlessly from all available sources. From war between nations, to the battle of your immune system repelling tiny animalculae invaders.. you will be subject to the laws of nature, whether you like it or not.
THAT is what "responsibility" is.
Woe to those who flee from responsibility.. VAE VICTIS.
@Way to Mars why because they don’t agree with you? People know things are messed up but the only person that can truly change it is yourself, go to therapy confront your demons and MOVE ON!!!!!
This mentality is becoming a trend.
And a scary one. It's a mentality for losers.
EVERYONE IS A DAMN VICTIM SMH CANCEL CULTURE, EVERYONE IS OFFENDED EVERYDAY BOUT EVERYTHING
It’s like the boy who cried wolf Now nobody takes actual victims serious
Yes, you see it in a lot of political propoganda that focuses on tearing the opponents down and deflecting from their own misdeeds. The highest in office have not been taking responsibility for their ill-conceived, haphazard ideas.
It's been a trend for decades, but we are starting to put our fingers on it now.
Your circumstances aren’t always your fault, but it’s ALWAYS your responsibility to change them.
Too true
I was bullied for years.
Abused as well.
I was soft and passive a total doormat. Self pitying
Not anymore
@@danieloloughlin8768 Good on you man! Glad to hear it. I was very similar when I was younger. Shy and easy to pick on and easy to get a “yes” from. Over the past few years I’ve worked on becoming less agreeable to be able to stand up for myself and life is so much better for me and for the people around me. I’m glad to hear someone else is turning their life around in a similar way
The students are so blessed to have him as an instructor. They have no idea yet how blessed.
still I think they;ll do something before they realize JP was right
@Wiliam Forsythe f off hating prick
@Wiliam Forsythe fat shaming. Cancelled comment
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From experience, getting into the University of Toronto is extremely difficult. It is hard work that gets you in.
When you try and have these conversations with your friends, and they call you weird.
Get new friends
Now that's victim mentality. Why have a conversation about philosophy or such things when you are there to enjoy things with your friends? You don't have to pretend to be a smartass all the time. Learn to appreciate all kinds of conversations.
Ya then its like what the heck.Not the answer your looking for.If they say your weird it sounds like they offer an instant solution too,as if to say "drop it thats overthinking it or talking like that not excepting your life in the way we have it.
Get new friends like them or u will become like them, more or less
@@svetlinsofiev6729 I think you should have friends you can talk about these things with every now and then.. should every conversation be about the meaning of life? probably not. But if they shut you down immediately they've got some work left to do and they may be running away from it.
Playing the victim seems like a manipulative behavior in people.
Not to mention it's also highly narcissistic behavior and people falling for it can't necessarily even realize what they're doing, because it's really the easiest path imaginable. Self-victimization should be criminalized for all I care, although I don't think we'll ever see anything like that happen.
@@mikitz I agree.
Yes it is a manipulative behavior in people
Yes,using guilt as a psychological weapon in others.
"How to kill a narcissist" Good read.
Narcissists victimize themselves and attempt a guilt trip after their accusations fail. You will chase them away with reason lol. It's the easiest way to detect narcissistic personality disorder.
Concerning your daughter Mr. Peterson, You did well, extremely well!! I just watched your interview with her about your own troubles over the last year. Wow what a woman! Good job sir to you and your wife. I wish the best life has to offer to your whole family.
Life is like poker. Everyone gets dealt a hand at the poker table, and it’s random. You can’t complain to the dealer to give you “better” cards. You gotta take a risk, put your chips in the pot, and hope for a good flop. The message is to find a way to carve out a decent life for yourself without complaining that everyone else has it better than you, or believing that other people owe you something. Accept where you are, set realistic instead of delusional goals, and enjoy it.
Well explained!!
T P T even if you make the optimal move each hand, you can still lose it all. But your odds of long term success increase with each optimal move, compounded over time.
I think Voltaire also said something like this.
I'm tired of people comparing poker with life. Life is not a luck game. Nothing is random when there's a God.
Reshuffle your cards. Good things can happen.
Pinnochio + morality+ psychoanalysis + Jung = just brilliant. Hope JP knows he is 21th century hope for mankind...
ruclips.net/video/5QLsEGCiOZk/видео.html
My father has an undeniable victimhood mentality that my family has been dealing with for a long time. Which is ironic because I in turn now have a victimhood mentality for always having to deal with his attitude. I guess the cycle can sometimes repeat itself, although I hope it does not.
My dad is the same. Its your choice not too be the same though. There is no fatality.
I know a few parents who could learn a thing or two from this
I know my sister is like this :(
Oh you've met my parents lol
ruclips.net/video/5QLsEGCiOZk/видео.html
The first 30 seconds-- TRUTH BOMB. I want to tell this to minorities who identify as SJWs. We're all human, and you're not different from a white person, or a straight person, or whoever. And I'm black, and think the victim mentality is delaying progress of those people's lives.
Bolaji Jabez Chicago, Atlanta, Memphis, Detroit, South Central LA, Baltimore etc.
I was listening to black people complain about whites talking about tanning. It reminded me of a young black woman who told me that "no one wants to be black." In other words, being black is a disability in the USA, Europe, Asia, Australia and Latin America too, I believe. Should it be officially recognized as such by the government? I suppose it is in a way -- that was what affirmative action was supposed to address. However, there has been this reaction against it that says "you are not disabled because we don't discriminate. (See the supreme court chief justice.)
Holds true today
I want to tell this to Trump.
@@johnstewart7025 Only idiots tan today, just like only idiots smoke.
We need to pray for this man to stay safe and protected, for he is speaking the truth in the face of the dark forces and their establishments...May Lord Jesus bless you Mr. Peterson and guide you in His light and truth! Stay safe...
I'm agnostic, but half convinced that this man may be an angel.
He's just educated. This is the power of education and the benefit of developing one's mind.
Kristi Nam educated is a vague term
I sometimes wonder if he realizes how many people's lives he has changed for the better.
Vague can be a good thing
angels are no human... :)
Pinocchio actually parallels the reality of how most SJW's fall into their states of victimhood, he has a parent that doesn't prepare him for the harsh realities of life thus leaving him open to be moulded by others like Stromboli and Honest John who have their own agenda for him.
Pinocchio only achieves his goal of becoming a real boy at the end of the film because he abandons his victim hood status and takes responsibility for his actions.
@Sigma Nayo I was raised as a single mother, a lot of your assumepions are rather valid. I was never a hard sjw type, but I had a lot of the victim traits which have dragged me down over the years. I'm doing much better these days after reading and listening to Dr. Peterson.
Sigma Nayo I know lots of dads raising kids at least part time that are total victims.
@@KENNETHTXMMA No
@@KENNETHTXMMA Someday you will understand that everything you wrote the is false and comes from a false place. It's not incorrect in your mindset as it it now. It makes a lot of sense as it is based by your experiences and believes. The thing is if you had different experiences you would think differently. The magic is that you don't need to believe what you believe. The only person or being that cares about all this is you. And you believing it makes it truth for you. At this moment. If you decide ever that it's enough and you want to try something else, eventually you will see that it can be much different than that. There is no pursuit. No chase. You don't need to think about being attractive or unattractive as it's only a false mindset you have about something that surrounds you.
@@williamings773 I was raised by a single father. Me and my little sister are far from victims lmao it's a mom thing I guess
I have a chronic illness that keeps me largely bedbound and pushing yourself to your limit is the only way you’ll know what you can do. But living close to that edge can be detrimental to your health
I was looking for something to help my interactions with another person. And yet, as I watched, I realized that I can't. In the place of a long explanation, she's lost. Trapped in a vicious cyclone. I can try to help, but I've been doing that for years.
I needed to hear this lecture. To understand a part of a person that they don't understand themselves. And also to motivate myself as a non-victim.
Pinocchio is an excellent book to read. The book has more adventures than the Disney movie. I read it as a young adult. An excellent moral tale.
Ever since I discovered that I had a victim mentality I make every effort not to put myself in situations where I feel victimized. It starts by putting myself and needs first then taking accountability for my life. I have all of the power.
Years ago I used too self loath, my dad saw me as an object and controlled everything I did. I understood it when I did do things wrong, that’s called discipline, but it confused me when I didn’t do anything wrong and got put down.
I'm gonna' be honest, watched all of his biblical series like 5 times over, watched much of his Maps of meaning... all spectacular... but the whole Pinocchio one just stuck with me, it was masterfully good and has resonated with me since.
10 minutes of Jordan Peterson compel you to think more than almost anything else.
Oh my, I relate to a lot of this. Better do some self-reflection.
It's an easy state of mind to fall into.
Respect to you though for being open minded enough to consider that as a possibility! it’s far easier to pin the blame on a situation we had no control over. We have to just accept our reality and do our best with it, holding our integrity. Keep working hard on yourself, we can all become our potential if we strive to take the necessary and moral steps. good on u for being brave xx
Wow this speaks to my soul right now. It is time to truly own my existence. Thank you, Jordon.
I am a 34 yr old ADHD, ENTP bipolar... I am so grateful for this beautiful life and my greatest achievement in life is being the son of an angel I call mom. This cuts deep.... I so badly WANT to be better and take responsibility etc but I'm scared I don't know how... AND if by some miracle I did..
Would I even know I am if someone didn't tell me?
Never thought I would need an explanation about Pinoccio but this guy is a fantastic speaker.
I'm 26 and this is truly me right now
Sometimes people go through tough circumstances. That doesn't mean every person is intentionally trying to be abused from childhood. Remember we don't choose our circumstances. But I agree you should try to improve it as much as possible. Also not every person is trying to play the victim. Sometimes they just need time to get over the trauma. Every person has that right. Feel free to comment on my comments. Have a good day!!!!
Hes literally translating our problems into words. He's a mind reader, he's like a second dad.
This is my sister 100%. Don't let yourself become a toxic, entitled, self-centered victim. You always have choices and you are always responsible for yourself and your life.
This man is wise. God bless him when helping young minds be great.
There are two ways of living a life. One way is deeming self as a victim. You don’t have to take responsibility for your behavior and thoughts. It’s easy. The price you pay for it is that you would have no meaning for life.
Another path is taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and beliefs. It’s difficult. You would have meaning as much responsibility as you take.
I guess trump has no meaning for life then.
@@lenblack1462 😐
The Narcissist is so good at making their partner feel insufficient & worthless - years of subtle manipulation by just one person in your life can get deep inside your head . Life can be many things - joyous, rewarding, confusing, difficult, & heart-breaking when u finally figure out you are not loved as a person by your partner - merely an object to be used & victimised - not all victims can "snap out of that darkness" - not all victims are bad people.
ruclips.net/video/5QLsEGCiOZk/видео.html
amazing content 😁 today is my birthday and i just turned 14 and i really enjoy Mr Peterson's content 😎
I'm glad for you
Personally, life at home with my mother was so unbearable that although I was extremeky sick, I'd choose to go to school!
my ex-wife enables the kids, afraid of their reactions, wants them to never enter that mode of responsibility...and it scares the fox out of me cause I want them to grow independent and strong
Don’t worry man... my mom did the exact thing with me JP was talking about and I came out all right. I used to stay home from school almost every other day. I do have fibromyalgia-my sister also passed away when I was in school, so she just gave in, but I grew up and had to work hard. I surprise myself all the time by how far I’ve come. I still complain a lot, but I do right by my family and I’m satisfied in life. Eh, nobody is perfect ya know?
my mom is like this. she enables bad behaviour and seems to not want people to get better
banana mine suffered a terrible childhood with abusive, awful parents. The stuff she went through was unimaginable... it definitely shows that her parenting has compensated for that. You just gotta remember that they mean well.
Be as active in their lives as possible and hope they model after you at some point.
Kayli G It is very difficult from 7605 miles away, but doing my best
Pleasure vs purpose. Pleasure lasts a moment, purpose lasts forever. One slowly destroys you, one fixed you.
Man...this was what I needed to hear...I have a drop out family member I clashed with...and this was the core issue.
ruclips.net/video/5QLsEGCiOZk/видео.html
I would love to sit and listen to Jordan Peterson for an entire semester. How lucky his students were. He is one of our most cogent modern thinkers.
Oh, look! My childhood described.
Ebvardh Boss same. Shame.
Mine too. I had figured it out but haven't talked about it often, because it's too harsh a truth to vocalize that your parents don’t want you to grow up and success. They shamed us about it and at the same time encouraged laziness. That worked for a long time!
yeah fucking hell.. red pilled hard
Lucy Montgomery I keep hearing that what is red pilled mean?
some people use it in reference to the "men going their own way", movement however its origins are within a scene from the matrix, ruclips.net/video/zQ1_IbFFbzA/видео.html
I wonder how many people snoozed through Peterson’s lectures not realizing he would be someday be a rockstar.
I really doubt many snoozed. Even if you disagree with him, he’s got your attention.
@@Brigand17 look at akira the don jordan peterson meaningwave
Every damn time this guy uncovers somethings about my life that I was kinda aware of and makes all the problems clear. he's really experienced, knows what he's talking about. Damn.
The fox could be a doctor, judging from the handwriting.
😂
Do do dahh do da doo here take these pills and give me money. No actual medicine anymore just prescriptions
It's cursive written in cursive cursive.
Wow. This is so eye opening. I know people who do exactly what he’s talking about and how much they miss out on life and joy.
Wow. I simply have no words. This resonated more than I would like to admit
Just awesome, i hope those people actually in his class look back someday & realise just how lucky they were
Better to be a "survivor" than a "victim" as there's so much victim blaming, shaming, misuse of the word to make false claims or avoid responsibility and a lack of trauma informed practise to support genuine victims.
This is gospel truth!!
Just be careful in the workplace. Leaders often package up fall-guy sacrificial lamb positions as "leadership roles".
God did say, all things shall be known at the end.
Thanks for your knowledge Dr Jordan Peterson.
I have stage 4 cancer but know of so many people who have survived stage 4 cancer implementing various lifestyle changes along with chemotherapy and other traditional treatments. I changed family doctors (for obvious reasons) but right off the bat and my new doctor initially tried to paint me as a victim. I don't fault him since it was frustrating for him to see how incompetent my previous doctor appeared and because we live in such a litigious culture that it actually pays to be a victim. However, most people who survive cancer don't dwell on how they've been wronged. They take the bull by the horn and advocate for themselves. If something doesn't work or a doctor doesn't want to do what the patient wants, the patient moves on quickly because, with cancer, time is of the essence.
I love this guy!
After being "discarded" by a friend with Peterson's book on 12 rules for life on their shelf as they demonstrate a COMPLETE LACK OF ABILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, it is very emotional for me to hear this speech. Peterson is right in that taking responsibility is one of the best ways to "empower" yourself, or feel like you matter. And the clear lack of taking responsibility while hiding behind a facade of reading Peterson's insights and being an insightful person is such a manipulative move that I wish none of you ever experience such dissonant relationships.
I would love to hear Peterson go through the entire movie and make every observation. Intriguing.
I was just sitting here thinking, "wait, isn't this supposed to be a university lecture? it's more like a motivational speech, or spiritual guidance, than a class on some academic subject"
It just hit me that, generally, the only reason I pursue online lectures is because I'm trying to get to grips with a subject I'm studying but that is confusing the hell out of me. Outside of this I'm not trying to watch lectures for subjects I'm 'not' studying. But with Prof JP it is an entirely different matter. I have been seeking out his lectures for around 4 years ever since, by chance, I listened to one of the lectures because its title pointed to some introspection that I had been doing for about three years.
I'm essentially coming to him to have my thoughts and conclusions dismantled and examined. And looking for a way to improve my current circumstances or to see if I'm sabotaging my relationships and, if so, how so.
Imagine that; attending university lectures, not so much because you want to study in some field, or hope to be qualified to start some career, but because you want to address issues in your personal life, or you want to learn what science has discovered about the human psyche so you can use the information to your benefit. I've said it before, JP might have his detractors, but I seriously envy the students that had direct access to this man in the lecture halls. Discovered him when I was 44, now I'm 48 and keep coming back. I get the feeling I'll be returning for a long time.
@Printinghouse Imp Yeah, those personal attacks he has received have always baffled me. I've been left thinking that if they only sat down to listen to one of his lectures on the whole human narrative they might find it hard to find fault. But just that 'very thin' category of beliefs that he dismantled and it's unbridled outrage. As for the thoughts you grappled with, I honestly feel that anybody who has been down that rabbit hole, once they heard Peterson, would get a lot of clarification. What struck me, is that he had been down there for 40+ years, in addition to all his studies. We went down the rabbit hole, but he lived there, he's basically the guide.
Great...you never want to use your illness as excuse of not doing something...applies both to mental and physical illness...
One Alexandra
Do You have any severe illness?
vitalino1981 No, chronic pain which can be debilitating but I have my strategies now.It takes time but also perseverance.
One Alexandra
In this case I believe You can't judge those, who have any severe health problems, so your statement can apply to You, but in any particular case it can be misleading.
vitalino1981 it is in line with what Jordan Peterson says. I am not judging anybody. Chronic pain involves a lot of suffering and limitations in life like me I cannot eat whatever I wish to, nor do sports I like or dance etc...Pain exhausts you enormously...and yet you need to find strategies to cope, enjoy at least some moments and not to enter into victimhood because that is not empowering. Good luck to you and all who suffer physically or mentally.
Jordan Peterson suffers with Depression! Lots of people with severe disability complete some extra ordinary physical challenges! Are they victims, do they use their severe illness as an excuse?
"It doesnt matter that his arguments are incoherent, what he is selling is easy to buy - so pinocchio buys it"
@@jwm6314 I thought the same
@@jwm6314 yes. Completely the same thing.
I loved the part of “push to the limit, because if you don’t, you won’t know how far the person can go”
I’m in this mode...not by choice but by long term health issue. It is a daily battle to keep going but keep going you must.
My criticism of Dr Peterson is rarely with what he says, but with what he DOESN’T say. Absolutely you must always push as hard as you can against your limitations. However, the end result of each person’s level of functionality and accomplishment will not be the same.
We are individuals. We have different tolerances, strengths, and challenges. For someone with chronic pain, severe depression and high neuroticism, maybe just being able to complete a full day at school is an enormous accomplishment. Being able to actually engage in the day may be beyond his/her capacity. But now the door is open to say, “Johnny has cancer but he passed the Chem final. What’s your excuse?” That is not helpful. It’s actually discouraging. But it’s how many people listening will ultimately apply this little nugget of Peterson’s wisdom.
And that’s the problem. He fails to caution people about the danger of being ignorantly judgmental and condemning someone without really understanding everything at play. He is silent about how counterproductive it can be to ridicule someone and minimize their efforts when they are genuinely struggling against their challenges.
When he neglects to warn against the harmfulness of judging people we don’t really understand, he encourages a mob mentality and creates bullies who feel justified in deciding who deserves respect in the world and who deserves scorn. These people see themselves as superior to, and more deserving than others who aren’t able to reach the same level of functioning. Remember, we aren’t talking about criminals, we’re talking about people who are genuinely suffering and trying to live the best lives they can so be very careful folks! Honest effort can be invisible to you.
Peterson’s advice is great for the individual it applies to, but when the group gets the idea it’s ok to be the “character police,” then we have a real problem.
Kelly Daubert Im having trouble understanding what you’re saying about how it effects the group. In your scenario about the person with cancer passing the chem final, when has Jordan Peterson ever made an analogy or implied that this is how you should go about treating and judging everybody? Also - is it implied that if you do bear your own cross and try to lift yourself up out of your own painful existence that you are now judging everyone else who doesn’t?
I was listening to black people complain about whites talking about tanning. It reminded me of a young black woman who told me that "no one wants to be black." In other words, being black is a disability in the USA, Europe, Asia, Australia and Latin America too, I believe. Should it be officially recognized as such by the government? I suppose it is in a way -- that was what affirmative action was supposed to address. However, there has been this reaction against it that says "you are not disabled because we don't discriminate. (See the supreme court chief justice.)
He's talking about how an individual handles their own world, and you make it about comparing yourself to others. It seems you've gone out of your way to misinterpret.
He's not talking about judging anyone. He says make things as good as you can. As GOOD as YOU CAN. Your criticism are based in the excuses people who dont want to try offer to the world.
You sound confused, perhaps to do with your own issues. Having accountable for self, and other's should not cause us to be without compassion, in fact the opposite. Many people encourage and lift other's up while improving themselves also. You are choosing the glass half empty attitude.
Kelly Daubert Totally agree with you Kelly... but when I heard this video I initially assumed Peterson was talking about a common cold.. He knew his daughters illness so he could make an informed judgement on what he thought she could achieve. He is the Father & he knows his daughter best, combine his knowledge on the illness & he can make an informed decision. I agree with what he has said yes, I don’t beleive it creates a mob mentality though.. Surely people are not so judgemental on what others can/can’t achieve in thier capacity. If they are well it shows a deep narrow mindedness .
Excellent!
A dear friend of mine had a near fatal accident when she was around 18 years old. She was in coma for weeks. The recovery process was long and painful. I met her after this episode when she was again back on her feet. Unfortunately, nobody in her surroundings came up with suggesting a psychological therapy to go along the physical one. The impact her accident had in her family is noticeable when you see how close her younger and older siblings became. They have alienated her. Her parents allow her to get away with anything, they became overprotective with her. She's unable to justify or elaborate on an opinion or decision when you ask her straight forward for her reasons. She blames bad luck, she says. She cannot last longer than a few months in a job. Nothing is her fault, everything is done to her. They fire her all the time because they are mean, she never practices self-critic to see why they'd choose to let her go. She has no goal or interest in starting anything on her own. She lives for the day still under her parents roof. Meanwhile, her siblings are well functioning adults who are economically and emotionally independent.
My heart breaks for her. I've told her many times she should consider taking a psychological therapy. That is never too late. She's 36 now and still as stagnant as ever. She acknowledges there's something off with her but never manages to take action. She ultimately justifies her lack of action as a simple bad luck and stays right where she is. At home doing nothing. Her family seems to have stopped expecting anything at all from her. And as a consequence, she doesn't either.
I'd love to hear Professor Peterson's opinion on this (he's a very busy guy off course so it won't happen.) I'm just her friend, she's a good and kind person. I can't take any decisions for her other than to hear her and give her my two cents...
@@KateStantonSings Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you managed to get the help to snap out of helplessness and to take responsibility in your life. What you say about hitting rock bottom.... that's what I fear about my friend. I fear a tragedy must happen, something that shakes her comfortable world definitely, in order for her to open her eyes and do something. But I mean, there shouldn't be the need of that. I'm not sure whether she's emotionally stable to go through another trauma.
Aurora Madariaga Love them at an arm’s length to protect your own...💕
BBC News should watch this. Then maybe they’ll stop encouraging people to adopt this mentality.
I was this. Now I have changed but still lot of work is to be done.
One of Dr. Peterson's best insights.
bullied for years, had an alcoholic dad at home and got dumped by a guy who i knew was bad for me from the beginning i am so tired of being miserable and not doing anything meaningful in my life i’ve sat at home for about 2 years i’m so tired of this and i’m ready to change
It's just so hard to swallow this information, because being honest with yourself can be a really painful process.
If only you could shut off your ego at will, then life would be so much more peaceful.
Awesome content - Destroying victim mindsets is so important! It's something I discuss in the latest video on my channel as well, & providing a blueprint for my child on how to be tough & not embody victim mentalities. Thank you for the content.
Responsibility is the goal, but count the cost for each one you take on.
This stuff is gold for parents and grandparents.
Really enjoyed watching thanks for sharing 😀
Jordan sometimes talks about Nietzsche, I am suprised he didn't even mention him here! This victim mentality is something Nietzsche saw in his time too and he called it "Sklavenmoral" or "Slave morality".
Ty
I absolutely agree with Jordan Peterson. I am so sick and tired of victimhood that many people around the world are behaving absolutely disgusting. The victim mentality symbolises immaturity, laziness, low self-esteem and weakness. I literally cringe so hard when some of these whiny snowflakes play the victim because it is so embarrassing, so fake and so stupid. A victim means someone innocent who gets murdered by a violent thug for no reason. Just because some random stranger gave you a mean look or they insulted you or they disagreed with you that does not mean your oppressed. Also just because you escaped from an abusive toxic relationship from someone whether if it’s your boss, your coach, your family members, your friends, your lover, your mentor, your spouse and your teacher that does not mean your a victim that makes you a survivor big difference. Every human being around the world needs to have gratitude, maturity and responsibility in life period.
" Look, I know the cast will slow you down, but I really want you to give your all in that 100 yard dash ..."
A broken bone is not an illness.
I am in this narrative right now. I feel like my time is running out.
It's kind of funny how all these fairy tale movies I used to watch as a kid, all have a deep dark meaning embedded into them.
I feel bad for people that have suffered serious trauma throughout their lives. Particularly childhood. Multiple nights without food. Beaten by drunken parents. Etc. I don't even know what to tell such genuine victims. But what gets me frustrated as heck is people who grew up in middle class homes with loving parents that act like they had it so bad off because they got yelled at for being bad or because they had to spend a whole 6 hours a day at school or because mom and dad didn't buy them the most expensive toy sold during Christmas. EVERYBODY has to go through those things! Yet they're always looking for someone else to blame. It's reasons like that Jordan had to give this lecture and Essential Truth had to post this video.
I needed this
..and I don't have to take on responsibility.
This is the gold here.
There’s a certain culture in America that needs to hear this.
This is very well summed up in the book of Ecclesiastes from the Bible whether you are religious or secular it's a book of wisdom from the natural world, and the author Solomon does related to the spiritual world, but it's about the pursuit of meaning and pleasure
Its a viscous cycle to it seems. You only become strong from being accountable and growing from the experience. Some would call it pain, but that depends on the emotion you frame it in I guess, negative or positive. If your hardships are framed as blessings, that if it doesn't hurt you it grows you and you evolve, then you will be stronger for facing your truths. However In todays society people have developed egotistical ways through their lack of consequence, strength, honesty with themselves, call what you will. Ultimately the ego doesn't protect you, paradoxically it weakens you and makes your mindset more fragile, as you always have an expectation to hit because you have tied your identity to an ego. When you don't hit that expectation you're almost giving others the power to effect your emotion based on their criticism of you. You may become so fragile that you don't want people to see you look bad at something, because you're ego wouldnt be able to handle it.
I think sometimes people take a break not want to do things. is because of intense anxiety. sometimes even do not know that the anxiety exist. the best things is be aware of anxiety. and do slowly. start from small...For me it is the case. when I identify the cause and get a bit better. I laugh at myself for being so scared.
Therefore I think people not working all lives may have serious mental illness.
From a spiritual perspective, there is no such thing as a meaningless life; all things have meaning and purpose.
An excellent deconstruction of the book Pinocchio. I read it to my children when they were young.
This is soooo powerful 🔥🙌🏻
Narcissists are excellent actors/
actresses. They really know how to
give a performance, and people
are mesmerised by their fake
charm and innocence. It's leaves
the victim's feeling deflated,
bewildered and confused. It's hard
to change people's perception of
the Narcissist, because they are so
convincing in playing victim, and
tainting you as the abuser. Beware of
perpetrators in disguise..
Some people set fires wherever they go.
and have mastered the art of playing
the burn victim.
I have been scrolling past Peterson. Watching this video made me feel better. In a way that I can relate to Pinocchio by being insufficient.
This man is wonderful, try looking into his family's history, it's all there for you to find out, his whole family have passed through tremendous difficulties in order to win through and conquer and reign in life. Praise God Almighty for people like Prof Peterson and his family, praise God indeed, I love these people.
ruclips.net/video/5QLsEGCiOZk/видео.html
I want the rest of the vid please
Find it on Peterson’s channel.
ruclips.net/video/bV16NEWld8Q/видео.html
You’re welcome.
I've been watching some videos on this and it's just wild to think about how easy it is to flip yourself into the victim role and lose control of your own life
2:08 minute mark is brilliant and the crux of it all.
If i have a panic disorder, and sometimes I have panic attacks, very severe, so I'm forced to retreat from some sorts of activity, does it count as using my state as an excuse?
Yes. I know from personal experience
"I'm forced to..." = I have no power or responsibility
The plot of your life is overcoming obstacles. If it was easy it would not be interesting
No, you are not making excuses. Anyone who experiences true panic attacks understands that we sometimes have to temporarily retreat from triggering events in order to recover and let the panic subside. The import thing is to never stop the healing process by gently pushing ourselves to do the important things in life despite the panic. When we stop trying all together because of the possibility of a panic attack that would be giving up or making an excuse, adopting a victim mentality. I feel that the responders here are being too quick to judge. Panic attack can bring on very powerful physiological reactions. Take care of yourself and your needs.
vitalino1981
You need to systematically deal with the issue.
Systematic desensitisation..
The pyramid of fear.
Look it up. Geoff Thompson : Dealing with Fear is a starting point.
ruclips.net/video/aE0pRMtQeu0/видео.html
How do you get data and research on a mentality. .? Or a state of mind?