those arent christians but of the devil . God Lord Yeshua said : you cant sit here near my taqble and eat from it when/if you sit near devils table and feast from it .
I was a narcissist. I had no Idea that I was. By God's grace he saved my soul, but its taken many years for me to realize by Gods mercy that I was a narcissist. It's been a horrific revelation. Yet God in his great love and gentleness has changed me over the years and continue to lead me out of this hallow, lonely shallow place and making me finally into a person who can care for others by his Holy Spirit and not need to have all focus on myself. May The Lord in his grace deliver all narcissists from such a cruel heart and very dark place in Jesus name amen.
That’s a very comforting message. I just realized my daughter has become a full fledged narcissist after marrying one 19 years ago. I’ve been tortured by her for 18 years, she’s used the grandchildren as weapons, the oldest is 18, then 15, 6, and 1. My husband and I think they’ve spaced out the children to keep us hooked taking care of their housing, electricity, car, insurance, heating for 18 years, they are both very entitled. We can’t cut them off or it’ll put the grandchildren on the street. We’ve been praying together daily to release my daughter from the darkness of narcissism. You have shared a beautiful message of God’s grace, mercy, love, and redemption. This is the first positive message I’ve seen since realizing the awful dilemma we are facing. Praise God!!! I will continue to pray for her frequently and fervently. God bless you for sharing 🙏🙏🙏
if you thought that you are a narcissist, then you are NOT a narcissist because narcissist will NEVER reflect badly on themselves; they believe they are the most perfect/holy person on earth.
Rule number 1 when dealing with a narcissist is to NEVER call them out, it’s a waste of time and you will be berated and gaslighted for it. The Bible in Proverbs 9:7 puts it this way; “Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt.” (NLT). A ‘Christian’ narcissist is nothing more than a wicked person masking to be one of God’s people, it’s nothing but smoke and mirrors. Rather than have a sit down with them, put all your energy into your secret exit strategy and leave and don’t look back!
Very good comment! Thanks 😊!! The Bible even says:…from such turn away in 2. Timothy 3! No discussion, no mercy, to whatsoever, just turn away! The Bible has an answer by the Holy Spirit 2000 years ago, what psychology suggests today to do with narcissists
That's exactly what I experienced I didn't call him directly a narcissist but I told him he was emotionally a psychologically abusive He twists the truth blame shifts manipulate through his behavior and emotions who's guilt and shame and And finally that I felt like he used me manipulated me into thinking he was somebody who wasn't for me to marry him because he was scared and wanted stability. Oh well did I learn that that was not the way to go.
@@Jonas-gl9keI don't know that they "think" they have converted. I am fairly certain most of them know they haven't connected to any god, bùt get pleasure out of fooling other people to think that they have.
It's not about mic drops, the whole point of this is to remain humble and nonjudgemental ourselves. The idea behind a "mic drop" is prideful and unchristian. The lesson is to recognize when someone is being guided by the Holy Spirit vs guided by the flesh so we know who to listen to. It's not about judging and condemning narcissists.
@@UT4Clips The whole idea of christianity, especially today in the "church" as it's become, is a hypocrisy, illogical and completely and wholly narcissistic
For those who confuse confidence and arrogance, here's a fun way to remember the difference: Confidence is when you are sure of yourself. Arrogance is when you are full of yourself.
There is also a big difference between being saved and being a Christian. Every Christian is a saved person, however, not every saved person is a Christian. Few know the difference or care.
My vulnerable narcissist ex-husband of 25 years told me during our separation that he was praying to see if God wanted him to restore our marriage- while he was living with another woman. I was like- are you kidding me? I cannot fathom the thought process. He would text me in the morning- Praying for you today. While she was sleeping under the same roof as him. Uh uh- go on with your crazy self.
Literally JUST broke off our engagement. I think for me the absolute worst part of being with a Christian Narcissist is how they use Gods word to manipulate you in to suppressing our desire to leave the toxic relationship and second would be the gaslighting.
I'm glad you broke your engagement because you saved yourself from years of abuse. On my wedding I knew I was making a mistake. I didn't have the courage to speak up. That night my narcissist ex husband refused to have sex. I thought we were both virgins. I found out later he gave me an std. I remained a virgin for 16 months. Our sexless marriage was for 19.5 years. It ended when he had an affair. Again, I'm glad you have the courage to do what you did. Ironically we met and were married in a Baptist church.
@@ruthgunneson-poling1571 After my divorce my best friend warned me, "Stay away from any guy you meet in.church--there are some really sick people in church!"
He who marries the VIRGIN does well. He who does not marry, does better..... Apostles, In that case it is better for a man not to marry. (Jesus) For those who can accept this, should accept this.
Yes, after I married mine, on our honeymoon he pulled out a long list of 'thou shalt do's' and read them off to me one by one. Then he informed me that when I have emotional needs, they are to be met by my friends, not him. Well, what lousy timing, because that's when we moved to an entirely different country where I knew NO ONE! I didn't know he was a Narc back then, but I grew to know what one was by the time I left him 31 years later. And when our children left home, I did, too, for good!
I finally realized this after years of abuse, but thanks be to God, He got it thru to me, and the freedom that accompanied the revelation cannot be measured.
It has been a shock dealing with a non narcissistic individual she doesn’t rage out, doesn’t take an innocent comment as an attack, doesn’t lie to me, doesn’t make false accusations, doesn’t trash me to the outside world, doesn’t scoff at me, doesn’t diminish my accomplishments, doesn’t ignore me, doesn’t deny reality despite evidence to the contrary, doesn’t mock my children, doesn’t project what they have done onto me, doesn’t spoil special occasions, is pleasant to my relatives, doesn’t have me falsely arrested. It’s been a very pleasant shock!
That is honestly to great to hear! When lies of the enemy want to creep in remember you don’t deserve it and rebuke that! May your journey be so sweet with your spouse!
After they went to church for decades, both my relative narcs are getting worse by the day. I told them, when you go to church listening to the Good news, it is like listening to Diet Doctor on how to slim down(or enter heaven), you have to literally go on diet/exercise and 'walk' what you had learned in church. You can't just listen to priest every Sunday but after church you are doing your nasty/vicious stuff again. you will forever not going to 'slim down'.
Wondering if the former pastor of the mega church in Southlake Texas is this kind of person. He initially threw out a large amount of DARVO when his escapades with a 12 y/o girl were finally made public in the past couple of weeks. Come to think of it, possibly the elders who knew she was 12 are narcissist as well.
I read something that stuck with me: “Sitting in church every week doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in the garage makes you a car.” By their fruits ye shall know them. There will be legions os people sitting in the pews or in pulpits that will NOT be in the Kingdom of heaven.
If you want to spot narcissist: 1. They are always right. 2. They are very defensive 3. They always blame others 4. They would never listen 5. They will ounish you. 6. They play mind games. 7. They lie. Now narcissism is on spectrum so some have more narcissistic traits than others.
I'm a Christian and a licensed clinical therapist.... And that's not what the DSM says about the characteristics to diagnose someone with narcissistic personality disorder... Please be careful about naming all unbecoming traits of an individual characteristics as "narcissism"... While everything you named is unhealthy behavior, it doesn't make someone the clinical definition of a "narcissist".
@blessedandannointed Thank you for your comment. Although I believe there are narcs, in general, I think we all have some bad behavioural issues where we need to surrender to the Lord becoming more Christ like.
@@blessedandannointedMany of the people commenting seem to be able to label others “narcissists “ but amazingly nobody here could EVER have such characteristics!
Amen I found out that these wolves in sheep clothing religious narcissist love preaching the gospel as long as the gospel is not confronting and exposing anything about them .
Or they have a very superficial understanding of the gospel use other people's words and insights to make them sound like they're further along than they are. Hijack cliches the churches say pastor say, the chameleons
@@Bluettes-cm7wo Personally, I don't like altar calls. When I preach, I would tell people, "Deal with God where you are." I will not use peer pressure to force an artificial reaction.
I lived with a narcissist thirty-five plus years. 😢I left that person over a couple of years ago. Thank God today I live at peace. A narcissist will train your mind to be toxic and be around that environment. When I left the narcissist I had to train my mind to think and live; like I used to in my younger years. When I lived at peace with no drama. I mastered it. Today I tell others that cross my path on NARCISSISM. Some individuals will not understand because it's a bad manipulative experience with these people. They hide behind a mask. They are the devil's advocates. A narcissist can be your boss, your neighbor, your sibling, etc. Thank you for sharing this AWESOME teaching.
@zulemaflores8796 I too lived 38 yrs with a narcissists. He didn't show it up front but over tge years it came out and he prostituted me for 20 yrs. I left him 2 yrs ago and now at 70 yrs old I am finding myself and God. I am finally myself being peaceful and full of love. Ready to help others. God is great
@@HopeKrakowski-hu8whBut in a way the Democratic Party are narcissistic themselves. High taxes every time and they say they love you. Higher taxes on bottle water and shopping bags but they say they love you. Riots everywhere but they say they love you. No freedom of speech but they say they love you. They keep the people poor to rule them but they say they love them. Here money here vote for me but they don’t care that the city water and farms are contaminated as well as the vaccines. Vote for me I’ll give you citizenship but remember you have to be on our side isn’t that also narcissistic? Who should we vote for? Can’t trust NO ONE of ANY PARTY!
@@magpie222Sorry to hear that. Why did you let someone prostitute you for so long? Not even for one time. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings but what exactly happened? He needs to be in prison. Maybe he was or still is a human trafficker. Be careful and stay safe
@@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044 he threatened to take everything away, I am diabetic and needed his insurance until Medicare hit. That is when I cut the ties. I stopped letting him film me doing guys. He will never post another video or picture of me
They have the nerve to call you manipulative and toxic if they dont like the way you react to the pain they cause you. They assume the worst about you and refuse to forgive you. They project their character flaws onto you.
@@FamilyHistoriandude True And they even go and humiliate you behind your back by their flying monkeys who THINK he is this great kind living superior guy
I just recently find out that HE call ME now the narcissist and his flying monkey friends actually believes him. No wonder, because they know him only by the love, flattering and kind attention he bestow on them These are VERY VERY sick individuals ... after the second narc in my life, I'm done ... my life now will go solo, never to be treated like I'm a nothing who are a demon, stupid, ugly bitch, jealous, fight seeking fool etc .... while all along its they who are chase YOU with these bad nrac habits of them God help us to stop feeling sorry for these species and give them all they do not deserve ... love, affection, tolerance and power over our very own breath even ... It's satanic to say the least
Let’s not forget their classic guilt tactic of, “I’m so sorry! I guess I’m just not important enough in your life to find/take time to care about me.” 🙄
I almost didn't click on this because it's absolutely impossible to be a Christian and a narcissist. Narcissists NEVER put Jesus on the throne of their lives because they are god and everyone exists to serve them. My first time listening to you. You nailed it. The church is the narcissist's playground.
Not every church is this way. God wants your trust in Him not people. If you read your scripture you will find He is not impressed by ourselves but by whether we actually honor and put out trust in Him, if that makes sense ❤️🙏
Wow. I thought the church is the sinner's hospital, and that would include the narcissist as well as the psychologist who speaks of them with contempt. I do not see the love or compassion of Jesus for the sinner in this presentation. 😢 You may now remove my comment from this toxic place.
@@jerriwoodard6677 I agree. My ex is a born-again Christian and really loves God. Unfortunately, he never sought counseling because of course it was never him, it was always everyone else. That’s why I finally left. He had deep wounding in childhood, and really tried to change, but never sought counseling or help with his abusive and narcissistic tendencies. It’s sad because his three adult kids don’t want anything to do with him. And I just had to leave and try to put my life back together. It’s very sad for all involved.
@jerriwoodard6677 The presenter is caring for the vulnerable, the victim of abuse, the "downtrodden", by enlightening them about the abusers' behaviour. If your concern is because you have never been a target of abuse, lucky you. Watch and learn.
It was really sad but, I had a friend who I thought was like a sister to me…I never really knew the signs of narcissism. Me and her were friends for about two and a half years, and she displayed ALL of these qualities. When I confronted her about things she did to hurt me, she rolled her eyes and gaslit me and I actually apologized! We would always talk about her, she sucked my energy, never let me speak, barely ever gave emotional space for me, and projected her character flaws onto me when I confronted her. It was awful, and sadly, that friendship was a total waste of my time, but I believe God redeems and I’ve learned a lot about guarding my heart and discernment since then. I cut her off after I tried confronting her and it got spun around on me. Best decision of my life, but I do pray her eyes are opened to her own narcissism cuz I can imagine how lonely she is and empty always relying on others to fill her where only Jesus can, she’s just seeking love in the wrong places and in the wrong ways. She doesn’t know any better, so I’ve learned to forgive her and at the end of the day, we wrestle not against flesh and blood.
I always feel genuinely sorry for people like you, so innocent with a pure heart. Your emotions are real, while the others are faking it. Don't let life rob you of your kindness, but guard against the takers and users in life.
@amberlynfaulstich7134 I can so relate to this! I have never had a close friend, except in early childhood. I get lonesome for a sincere friendship. For years, I've been looking for a friend or friends that we're like-minded. I either end up disappointed, let down, exhausted, frustrated, and even sometimes angry or feel all at th same time. I keep connecting with the wrong ppl. But I pray that one day, God sends that special person or persons.....
@@amberlynfaulstich7134 well done you 👍 Sounds like you made all the right choices there, and the fact that you are forgiving her is a big step in the right path.
@@rgoodman4082 exactly,i feel the same ,what ever sister amber went through i went through the same and may there aint people matching our enery levels or humility even when we are aware no one is perfect including us but there is also this truth if we are truly Jesus's followers then his nature will abide in us and we wil treat each other like how david and jonathans friendship was...much examples from bible..i feel so alone ,may God get us the true friend in christ who will never forsake us no matter what and also help us to not forsake our brothers in sisters in christ on small small things..major reason for why christiams build walls is because of spirit of offense and leviathan
Everything you share about yourself on a deep level will be remembered to the point of memorization by the narcissists and filed in their brains under "future ammunition".
So true. They NEVER,forget anyrhing you say, do or discuss. When you think the matter is resolved and finished it wil pop out of the narcissists mouth like an evil jack in the box. After they do this a few times you'll see how shallow, vapid they are. There's nothing really there so thry use that to fill the void (them). Then they become pathetically boring.
@@1233-h1 They also will just change what you said or did and will often fail to even give information about pertinent things going on or what the narcissist actually said and so on. They manipulate,fabricate,and are the best actors/actresses you could imagine! They also seek out people they can manipulate and they choose empathetic type people. 💃❤️🦮
It is true they are hurting. They never FELT love because they never knew how to love. They confuse love with feeling, not with self giving. They cannot recognize another's sacrifice for their benefit because no matter how much of another's goodness, from the heart, they receive, it is NEVER adequate. They are entitled to everything that life can afford. When the other has given till they are spent, the narc has to find another source of supply. They always anticipate that, so they line up future sources for the inevitable exhaustion of the one at hand. It's an unending cycle. They leave destruction in their wake wherever they go. Chances are, they have an address where all their mail goes so they cannot be traced. No responsibility, no consequences! It's always someone else's duty to take care of those things for them.
@@annettealrand9736 THIS is honestly the hardest part for me. I see that little girl behind the mask and how sad, scared and alone she feels. So it’s this conflicting feeling between dealing with the narcissist in front of you while, at the same time, looking at the hurt person inside of them 💔
Some have experienced love. I loved my children more than anything. After one became friends with many girls with wealthy parents she became down right mean. After the other had a very abusive boyfriend that nearly cost us our lives, she is now the abusive one.
Thanks for confirming that it’s ok to debate a Christian with God’s word. A friend told me not to, but I responded that I prefer to rely on God’s power and wisdom and not my own.
That's the whole meaning behind being a Christian, you get it. Those who are born again of the spirit understood that we cannot rely on ourselves, we can only rely on Christ.
"All Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped, having been thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
"If you're the type to mistake arrogance for confidence or scripture reading for true biblical belief, you, too, could be swayed into believing that you are dealing with a secure person who is able to handle criticism" - So, so good, Kris! I'm truly grateful for you! 5:02
@@Kris_Reece 1) "Intimate Connection." Every time I write a devotional, he's not interested in discussing it. He simply glances at it, but is not interested in learning. 2) Criticism. My own personal narcissist expected me to drive him to the supermarket after church every Sunday. He didn't even use the self-service lane! It took him forever to get in and out of there. One time I didn't get home until 2:30 (church had ended at noon). I said, "When are you going to buy your own car?" He screamed at me, "I DON'T WANT A CAR!" He didn't care if I criticized him or not. (I have met other narcissists who did, in fact, take suggestions as a threat; or at least they would simply dismiss me as "uneducated.") 3) Pride. UGH! One time I had written an essay about the Holy Spirit. Another church member was eager to learn more and I wanted to expand on the lesson. She asked me a question. But my own personal narcissist butted in and answered it for me. He has a way of dominating conversations and crowding me out. He then wasted 15 minutes on useless small talk about a job he once had. Another time, I had written a novel (unpublished). The family loved it. He said, "I helped him write it." I was so angry! I said, "No, you didn't!" He screamed, "YES, I DID!" For several years afterward, he kept harassing me, demanding, "How much money did you make on that book?!" I finally said, "Nothing! I don't expect to get rich doing that!" (That finally shut him up.) 4) "Needs." There was a time when I worked 60 hours per week and had very little time for Bible study. After work, I would go to my room and shut the door, because I need quiet solitude in order to read and write. My own personal narcissist complained that I didn't watch TV with him. 5) Misuse of Scripture. I finally had enough of my own personal narcissist, so I kicked him out of my apartment. He insisted I owed him. He quoted Cain: "Am I my brother's keeper?" I told him he couldn't use that as a blank check to get anything he wanted from me.
Wow. You stood up for yourself!!! I bet it felt great. And you probably thought. Why didn't I do it earlier. Well done for you and keep writing. Even if it is only for your pleasure. ❤
@@lr1698 as someone that has been fighting with OCD (pure-o)....I would say that is what OCD is...You can not stand uncertainty...as soon you think you are certain...the doubt comes
@@lr1698 It is literal. If they speak out of both sides of their mouth, have a different answer to the same concept with different countries involved (when the answer should logically be the same, irrespective of which countries are at play), or they lie often/consistently, they're double minded and unstable in all their ways.
God has been good to me & rescued me from a sister in Christ I just met at church for the 1st time. She wrote me a note placed it into my hands & said she had to run the note said she needed a friend & to please call her. When I called her on that day I immediately noticed a shift in how she approached me verses how demanding she sounded on the phone saying that I will be meeting her for coffee @ 1pm on Monday off the bat w/o humbling herself to ask am I even available. Yeah things got worst as she then instantly blamed me of being unfriendly and once I successfully switch conversation around she found another way of doing the same thing over again & that's when I prayed as she was making her up own plans claiming I'm part of it & I broke the bad news to her in sharing how Paul & Barnabas had to split going their separate ways due to a disagreement and how that is exactly what's happening w/us on this 1st phone call we're having. So I ended the madness & safely left the phone, but then she immediately sent a text saying that I'm not a real Christian so I told her that we can meet the pastor if she'd like to mediate what just happened on our 1st phone call & thanks be to God Almighty she backed off ASAP.
I ignored the red flags because I believed he was a man of God...I believed God had brought him into my life. I tried so hard to be an obedient wife...I prayed, I forgave, I wasn't allowed to get angry...I made minimal requests and did everything he wanted to do and anticipated his needs. He did not need to anything. He still blamed me for his lying and cheating.. He claimed it was for my protection. I am divorced now...I did everything I could in trying to save my marriage including sacrificing myself. I almost succeeded in taking my own life. I look forward to more of your content to learn why this man was allowed into my life. God allows everything....
God Bless You. Think this movie will encourage you for your future good days: "The Encounter" 5 people Encounter Jesus 4 set free to live abundantly. Be with the 4, 4Ever. :)
@@lorianttila9698 he was in your life because you chose him and said "yes" as I did. After I left my narcissistic ex, I had to figure out how I ended up with a man like that so I never make that choice again.
Yes, God allows free will BUT God only wants the best for us. Anything evil that comes into our lives, comes from humans-from the evil that humans can do. So it’s a fine distinction, but you need to know that bad things don’t come from God. “What comes to you of good is from God, but what comes to you of evil, [O man], is from yourself.” (Quran 4:79 Sahih International translation) Please don’t be offended by me quoting the Quran-normally I wouldn’t try helping a Christian with God’s last message, because I know you don’t believe. But in your case, I feel that you might need the comfort of this distinction that God gives us. I sincerely hope this helps. Personally, I’ve come to believe the Quran is God’s last and final message, but you have your religion and I have mine… I’m just trying to help.
@yvonnes7412 Thank you. I am not offended, and I am grateful to you. Yes, I am still struggling with what happened. One of the tools the narcissist used was controlling me with his religious beliefs. He unraveled everything I had learned and believed, including I was worthy of God's love. When I cried because Jesus died on the cross for me...the narcissist mocked and shamed me. I have always understood that there are many philosophies and beliefs and accept what works for one may not work for another. And God says we need to love one another as we love ourselves. Thank you, I hope you too are safe And free
Not to long ago I started putting some physical and emotional distance between a malignant, religious, narcissist and myself. The narcissist started texting to ask for help. I repeatedly refused providing the help. The narcissist texted that I was not a Godly person and I would always be alone. I texted back telling about a time in my young life when I put a gun to my head and tried mustering the nerve to pull the trigger. At that moment Christ spoke to me saying, "you are not alone.You were never alone. I was always with you." I asked this religious narcissist who should I believe, you or Christ?
Hi Larry - Wow that had to hurt, and some people you just cannot help - they will keep using & when you hesitate or back off for mental health sake, you often get backlash. I read through what that person told you and then scrolled back up to the comment from @hereim5648 - it's almost a checklist! I know someone like this, and tried, for many yrs, to help - they do not even realize (to believers, but perhaps even those that are not) how very fake their version 'Christianity' appears. Sad, and fear they will never understand true healing & redemption.
When I thought my husband was, I realized that I did many of these things as well. It was then that I could repent and begin to show a greater Gospel love to my husband. I didn’t so much have the “arrogance of accomplishments” or “expecting service from others” but there were aspects. It was difficult to realize sins in myself that I was blind to but God was gracious to open my eyes to it. God continues to patiently and lovingly discipline and sanctify us, healing our marriage and deepening our relationship with Him. It’s a heart issue with a Gospel remedy! Actually, I suppose we all have selfish characteristics and will battle sin until we go to be with the Lord. It’s why we need Christ and to remember His Gospel every day.
@@michelleinchristalone2769 You are right, all of us can be selfish and put ourselves over others. We need to remember to take the beam out of our eyes before we try to take the mote out of someone else's eye.
You are right, we can ALL be selfish and put ourselves before our families and friends. Thinking they should cater to us. I try to remember to take the beam out my eye before I try to take the mote out of someone else's eye.
I feel like this happens a lot especially in men’s/women’s Bible study groups, too. When you have a concern and you’re brushed off as being “angry”. It’s frustrating.
For sure love without truth becomes mere sentimentality. We need to love our friends more than our friendships and warn them if they act as if they are on the broad road to hell. You shall know them by their fruits.
At the start of this video, I knew where she was going with the analogy. The problem is for those of us who were raised by narcissists. We ONLY know the fake because that's all we grew up with. We then become the scapegoats for narcissists because we tell the lies they tell.....and get caught. When you're young, you know something is "off" in your gut, but ....what....nevermind that they're a "Christian" and would NEVER do that. You're just a bad kid who is CLEARLY wrong..... I could go on and on but this is the reality of GEN X'ers who had to deal with narcissists. The struggle was real
Not just the Gen X`ers, children of all generations who've had to be raised by narcissist 😢 Narcissism has been around since the beginning of time, it just didn't have a name 😔
It took me a long time, but I can see narcissism pretty well. I've done tons of research over the years on NPD, and I can safely say most people with NPD will never be diagnosed. I'm now in a good, healthy, loving relationship with someone who knows my inherent weaknesses ingrained into me by constant narcissistic abuse. Jesus Christ is the reason I have such a wonderful relationship.
But unless God specifically said for you to be alone, you shouldn’t be alone. what you need to do is go to God and ask him for your family. Psalm 68:6 God takes the lonely and He sets them in a family. 💖 It worked for me.
I’m a pastor in Sweden who just found you and this is very valuable information for us who work with people, I also work as a nurse and in that profession we meet many narcissistic people along the way
I wish i would have known these things in my 20's. It very literally took me a lifetime to figure this stuff out. And i still cannot put it into words. You do it so well 👍.
@@bendiggs1036 😅 New money, maybe. But when it's been passed around from sweaty hand to sweaty hand, pushed down sweaty bras or pants...it takes on other smells. I never believed people whey they said how dirty money was until I spent all day handling it and got warm, moist money from people in the drive-through. 🤢
Pride is such an important signal. Yet so many people feel attracted by arrogance, even when it's a chaotic, unsteady baby in an adult's body. Lies are also a red flag. Narcissists lie & lie. Whereas truth is golden. Thank you for the insightful info!
"I have finally seen the light" so to speak. It took me 65 years to finally let them go. Now, since I choose not to engage even when the nice side comes out. I have be DONE DONE DONE! It's not easy, but necessary for survival.
@@Maga-Muffin.59 So blessed to read your comment My mother, too, is about to say goodbye to my father, after 65 years. All of my life, I've understood that she has never received the love, commitment and respect that Dad committed to provide her, when they took their vows. In every way, he has failed the honor and uphold the covenant that he swore to honor & uphold. Even my grandmother called to her attention, that their vows were not equal or balanced. SHE promised to treat HIM with love, respect and compassion, until the ends of their lives, yet HE did NOT promise her the same. She now says she regrets not paying heed to her mother's advice. I've been trying to convince her to open her eyes for many years. I wish it had happened many years ago, but better late, than never!
I've had narcs around my whole life: family, best friends, co-workers. I had to cut them off once I realized what they were, because keeping them in my life meant not only would I snap one day, they'd influence my kids. That's what kept me motivated to drop the toxic people, no matter how much it hurt: they were _not_ going to be able to access my children. I've even cut the enablers off. I'm quite a bit younger than you, but it still took me too long to be able to go no-contact. Kinda like what people say about when they got saved; they wish they'd accepted Jesus sooner. For me, I wish I'd been able to cut off contact sooner. (Yes I'm saved. Have been since I was 5.) I'm so glad you are free! I wish you Jesus's blessings on the rest of your life. 💚
Thank you so much for helping me understand my ex-husband and everything he did and why. It was so confusing when I was married to him. He was an elder in the church but behind closed doors he was a monster. I went to counseling by myself for years to try to fix what was wrong with me because he made me believe everything was my fault. Listening to videos like yours and reading about npd helps me so much. It's painful but at the same time helpful (if that makes sense.) He ordered a mail-order bride from China soon after the divorce and my heart breaks for her. Kris, God is using you mightily to help people like me. Thank you so much and God bless you!
This Lady here , Dr. Carter " Free to be Me" series ( RUclips) and Dr. Ramani Top Foremost Expert on all things Toxic and Narcissistic Literally Saved my sanity when I was Frazzled, and confused, pulling my hair out over a Covert manipulator's Toxic Word Salad , a Lady that came across as perfectly Delightful , said all the Right things, appeared to Do all the Right things for about 11 months until WHAM, her mask fell off !
Thank you for doing these videos & providing resources. I realized semi-recently that one of my “closest” friends growing up displays a LOT of narcissistic traits. I’m hoping to grow past the insecurities I gained from it, and learn how to avoid such relationships in my future.
I’ve noticed in business dealings that anytime someone you just met finds a way to tell you they are Christian, they aren’t. They are just hoping that you drop your guard, and they are about to try and swindle you.
If that's true then how do we witness to people? I get the point , and I'm sure you could find a lot of scriptures to back your point but I don't know anywhere in the Bible where it says don't tell people you're Christian . Yes I know it's by our actions and all that ,I get it. Personal opinion is one thing, but sharing the word is our calling and command
@@lancesouth1101 it’s one thing to preach. I get that 100%. That is its own situation and involves honesty. It’s a totally different animal if someone tells you they are Christian and then tries to deceive you in a business dealing. That’s not Christian behavior. Witnessing to people is in fact showing them that you are what you say you are, and that is absolutely necessary. I support that.
Funny how she use water analogy. Did the rain water come from a leaky roof?. Proverbs 12:15 A constant dripping on a rainy and a contentious woman are alike. Restraining her is like holding back the wind or grasping oil with ones right hand. It takes two to tango. But women by nature (sinful nature) are narcissistic. They are vain, look into the mirror far more, worried about looks and outward appearances of themselves. Everything and I mean everything (clothing, makeup, hair color, jewelry) that is made "for a woman" costs a lot more and specifically targets the narcissistic tendencies of women. Women not only buy into it, they will pay double or triple. Make it pink, you will be charged double for it and you lose half the populations interest in the item (men). Logic and reason don't work on women, only emotion. Run away men from women like this.
I had just resigned from the praise and worship team at my church because its lead by narcissists and Its making me struggle with my feelings while serving in ministry. I'm praying God would give me wisdom as to what to do next, because I've grown to dread going to church on Sundays. I understand that I'm only reacting emotionally towards flawed humans like me. God is still good and almighty
Worship leaders lead the spiritual battle for the church. Makes me wonder about all your leadership? Just a thought. Maybe God wants you to move on. If you dread it and have fear…🧐
@@randiloreaux6991 its a small local church. The pastors don't preach heresy or biblically unsound things, but the environment kind of empowers covert narcissists to take control, because the smallness of the church doesn't leave many options for key persons to put in positions of responsibility. It's easy for them to look impressive and compassionate to most people, but if you get up close they are condescending and glory-seeking. I have treasured relationships with some people who attend there, so it's not a simple decision to just leave, and I don't like to badmouth our leaders to those who are oblivious 😔 ...for now I listen to online-streamed services from other churches during work, and that keeps me grounded in His word for the meantime that I've lost my trust in the leadership of my home church
@@randiloreaux6991 its a small church. The preachings are biblical, but the smallness of the church doesn't give it many options for key people to put in positions of responsibility. Its easy for the covert narcs to appear spiritual, impressive, and to take control. When we got closer, they revealed condescending and glory seeking behavior behind the scenes. I have treasured relationships with some people who attend there, so It's not an easy thing to just leave, and I won't badmouth the leaders to those who are oblivious. For now I listen to other churches' online services during work and still attend my home church for fellowship's sake
family dysfunction during a child’s developmental years opens the door for the Jezebel (narcissist )spirit to enter that child and wreak havoc on their life. It is a generational curse in my family I’ve come to realize-mother, sister, son and ex-husband. First step is to cast out the Jezebel spirit then deal with the dysfunction-its a long process but with God’s help it is possible to overcome ❤
The only prayer we did together was over food unless I prayer going on a trip. He alwsys ley me do my prayer snd bible readings by myself while he went on porch to do his as he's smoking 😳😳
Rehearsed script prayers (e.g. "Dear Jesus. Thank you for this day. Thank you for your love and grace. Bless this food to our bodies.") The clue is in the redundancy.
What I've noticed with narcissism and gaslighting is the phrases they all use that are so similar if not exactly the same. Signaling to me that there is definitely a spirit behind it. God bless 😊
When you're dealing with Narcissistic co-workers, same rules apply. We are to pray for those who persecute us.....and let HIM take vengeance....because it's HIS anyway. Give it and them to God and go to sleep
@@tammybagwell1741 Thank you. I've been dealing with this for years and I'm slowly trying to detach myself away from him. Part of me feels angry, hurt, sad because I invested so much time, energy, and money just to be treated like crap. I just got to the point where I was tired of being disrespected and demeaned and thankfully my coworkers have been supportive in telling me to leave him alone and I deserve someone who will treat me with respect. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
This is my stepmother exactly!! She has treated me and my family horribly. Her image is so important. I don't play her games. I've learned how to shut her down. I pray for her, and will let the Lord deal with her.
"If you're the type to meet their needs, it won't be appreciated; it'll be expected." 😮💨 💔 This part sucks because someone can be INCREDIBLY willing to do everything for their partner, but the second it's demanded that you do any of these things, you lose the will to do anything for them, or yourself. 😢
I've been studying narcissism for about a year to recover from divorce and abusive father and brother, so when I met a nice pretty apartment neighbor, I caught her narcissism in 14 minutes. So I've been practicing on her to set my boundaries etc. She knows how to do the right things for show so makes an okay 1x a week for 2 hour friend (or less) but now that she knows I'm not an easy supply, we're both backing away but it's been good practice for me to learn to set boundaries, I'm much better at being firm about that now...lol.
Not always fair. You can’t diagnose someone in 15 minutes. I’m a mental health professional and won’t do that. I’m concerned that your hurt and pain is on overdrive and you are very self-protective. It’s understandable, but be mindful that your pain is what’s responding to people, its not their genuine traits as you perceive them
WATCHING YOU TEACH THIS , MAKES ME SAD THAT ANYONE DID THIS TO YOU... YOU'RE AN AWESOME PERSON... THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE.. you are way better than any counselor...
Thank you for all your online literature and wealth of information on ‘narcissistic’ people. Sadly, I was married to one … but the best advice I could personally offer is when you allow God to move you through the healing to a place where you prefer not to use or refer (even in your mind) to him (or her) as a ‘narcissist’, which I feel is all too often today’s overused buzz word. After God softened my heart and got me to a place of truer inner healing He helped me to gain my own sense of power back in refusing to use this word to the point of asking my counsellor if she would kindly not use it. We know the Living Word tells us there is power in our words and speaking into them only gives that person the power over your mind, instead of allowing God to do His work in eventually healing you. Once I personally accepted this, I felt a sense of release to my past and softening of my heart to my future in being able to more fully centre my attention onto His calling for my new life. I pray that others will come to this place in seeing and appreciating the beauty He gives for our offered ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Blessings and love to all.
Yes I agree the word is way overused nowadays.... I believe you were with a so called narcissist, I'm not speaking about your personal experience. But in general I believe many people can have narcissistic traits to some extent, especially people with trauma and who were emotionally neglected when they were young. It's a coping mechanism for them to survive. I've seen people get better when they start dealing with their underlying trauma. I think when we call everyone who seems to be self centered and defensive or manipulative a narcissist, we create more problems because we won't see any possibility for growth or healing for these people. And we also might be unaware we ourselves can be self centered at times too. Or even become similar because of our hurt. I believe that the people that I've been in very toxic relationships with were ultimately unhealed traumatised people, but they were definitely children of God and often unaware of their behaviour. They weren't true narcissist but more dismissive avoidants or anxiously attached. Also addiction can make someone very manipulative. The amount of information I see on dealing with narcissists compared to other types of toxic or traumatised people is very odd to me. I think people would be better helped in their personal situations when they learn how to deal with certain types of toxic behaviours. Because with many people there are certainly ways that you can deal with it and set boundaries. There's also cases where whatever one does, it doesn't help and one has to leave the relationship. But I also see a lot of people break contact with others when they themselves are the ones who can't deal with their emotions and trauma.
@@Lily_and_River … well said. Although I never deserved to be treated in such a way; hurt people hurt people. And although a hard lesson learnt, there was one to be in God taking me through this unchartered emotional territory. We all live in/with sin … not one of us is spared by the enemy. After going through the grief, trust in Him and lean not on our own ways but His wisdom. I can’t say I allowed this before marrying a man with an, unknown at the time, littered past of his own past sexual trauma and abuse. I am not excusing him, God just helped deliver me to a place of understanding and accepting this in healing my broken heart and moving me into my future. Complete forgiveness is an ongoing process; but one I trust my faith will lead me to. So long as He forgives my sins and inadequacies, I know I have to forgive others … even if eventually. Thank you for sharing your insightful words and for your goodness in helping others. ❤
@@deechristensen8188 Thank you for your comments aswell. I'm going through something similar although I still hold hope for my husband. At the beginning of this year I had to seperate from him and go no contact for my own safety and sanity. I've experienced God closer and more intimate than ever before the past years, even when I was still living with him and was really scared aswell. I'm also thankful for the healing process and everything He is showing and learning me. It's hard, painful, necessary, healing and freeing all at the same time. In a way He answered my prayers by getting me out of a very toxic marriage and continuing with the plans He has for me. So I relate to much of what you say here. Back when I married my husband I was a child of God but I didn't let Him truly lead me the way I do the past years. I even think I wouldn't have married him back then when I would've been the person I am now. But I still pray and believe God can make our marriage new again. When He doesn't, I will be alright. I would worry about my husband's well being though. Even though I've given him over in the hands of God, I cannot imagine right now to let go of everything yet. I cannot let go of the promises God has given me, also about him. I like what you said about forgiveness. I'm not ready to forgive yet, because of the things that are still going on at this moment... I'm not at a point where I can leave it behind me yet. But I definitely know I will one day.
@@deechristensen8188 oh and yes the 'hurt people hurt people' phrase has helped me a lot too! Even though we made mistakes ourselves, it doesn't excuse their behaviour. It's been crazy to work through the amount of manipulation and gaslighting and allowing God to show the truth about myself and my marriage. No one deserves to be treated this way by ones husband. A husband should protect and love his wife like Christ protects and loves the church. When there's emotional safety a wife can submit herself to her husband from a place of love. We definitely need Jesus to meet such a standard, we can't do it on our own.
Well said! A real truthful person will never change, he or she is the same everyday! Narcissists pretty much think that their they're own God's. They are very fake, and you just can't talk to them, it's all about me me me! It's very annoying. We gotta pray for them! I was a narcissist many years ago, once I found Jesus, he showed me the error of my ways. Jesus is amazing! He has humbled me so much! I can't even thank him enough for how grateful I am to him! This is the first time I've ever seen your channel and I already love it. You are a very wise lady! God bless you 🙏
Bless you mightily Kris! All you say is spot on and from God and the Word! I have suffered much too like others here on this platform. Praise God for people like yourself, that bring light and truth. Courage and strength, hope and wisdom. I prayed and fasted and God taught me to never again expect anything good from anyone again! I do have faithful friends that love me for who I am praise God, but I’m talking about the narcissists, not to expect any good thing from them! I was a co dependent. My husband being a Christian narcissist whose favourite scripture to quote me was a wife is to learn from her husband at home etc etc and be submissive. I thought he Had an obligation from God to treat me the way the bible says.. well that’s a complete joke to narcissists. It’s there way or the High way ofcourse. So recently God told me, do not ask or expect anything from him ever again, you’re wasting your time. Well it’s Been decades! God said, only rely on Me to love you, admire you, respect and honour you, support you, provide for you. I’m your vengeance. He has filled me with His peace from head to toe! God has healed all my wounds. He has even had my enemies devour each other! Read 2 chronicles 20.. wow!!😄🙏🏻 Which I had no idea He would do for me, I feel so loved and adored by Jesus! So I have found my answers spiritually on how to overcome the narcissist! I’m set free. I will stay set free. I now do not care what people say about me or behind my back. I do not expect anything good from anyone anymore. Only my Heavenly Father whom truly loves me! My real husband is Jesus! I am one of the wise virgins that is filled with the Spirit of God! I will be there at the wedding to marry my Groom! 🙏🏻🥰💪😇 may others suffering be encouraged and finally set free 🙏🏻🙏🏻
My Father died two weeks and two days ago. He was a Christian narcissist. He was always criticizing us (children) behind our backs and to our faces. He was always lying to everyone he met. Many outsiders believed his lies. As we have come to found out even more of his lies since his death. It was very hard spending time with him as he got progressively worst because he would say not to use the word cancer and that God was going to heal him, yet he didn't demonstrate ANY christian values. Even when he cried during prayer I sense fakeness. He never showed us love, empathy, or even show one ounce of care. It was always about him and conquering women and once he married them he made their life Hell. He died in pain with bone cancer. And here I am trying to still make sense if a narcissist father can go to heaven 💔 We, the children all believe and follow our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thankful.
I had the same experience where I kept adding nice things I did for her and it was never enough, she always demanded more. If I didn't bow to her every whim, OR if I voiced a concern, then I was an "abuser" and "not a good Christian husband." But, when she voiced a concern, I would take all the blame and apologize. Only to be told my apologies were "fake" and that I "didn't care." She actually said to me at one point, "I have nothing to apologize for, I don't do anything wrong, I don't know why you're so upset." There's a reason she's an ex-wife even though she constantly used scripture to manipulate me to stay with her. 🙄
I just got out of something like that…begrudgingly if I’m being honest. Taking the blame is rough is t it? I still feel that way. And, more honesty, if she tried to come back I’d let her in. It’s hard to make myself get angry about all the games cause, plot twist, we work together too. It’s hard to stand up for yourself too. That alone makes me feel weak. It’s bad enough I strive for someone to come into my life that’s good and genuine that I’m blind to the concerns I have with those I let in. Stay up. We will be alright.
@@shaungreenlee724 no. Do not let that snake back into your life. Understand, they will not ever get better. They will only get worse. Block, delete, remove. Give your life a ‘courtesy flush’ if you get my drift. And be very wary of anyone you choose to let in. The world is full of ultra toxic individuals in 2024.
@@shaungreenlee724 PLEASE don’t EVER let her back in. It will be worse than before! There is a reason why Narc abuse counselors say it’s imperative to go NO CONTACT!
@@kristafloral Thank you. Gladly she closed the door but she does reach out occasionally and it’s hard to not reply. I just replied to something five minutes ago. I just wish I didn’t have this desire to be loved. I fall for anything. I even feel horrible thinking she could be a narcissist.
You are one hundred percent accurate. I have been living with a Christian Narcissist roommate man for over seven years. It has been the worst nightmare of my life, there is no way to reason with them, and the abuse never stops. Thank you for your videos and amazing wisdom. I have no way of getting out of where I am living yet, but expect to leave ASAP. It ffeels like a concentration camp. I believe God will deal with him and I will be victorious. Many thanks.
Remember that a mark of a narc is that they constantly find a way to INSULT you. One way or another they will try to insult you and "take you down a peg" because they convinced themselves (since they believe they are your judge, jury AND executioner) that you somehow DESERVE what they dish out. Keep and eye out for those who INSULT you. Evil ALWAYS insults humanity because evil HATES humanity. If you are a good person evil will try to INSULT you the most because it HATES you the most.
You cannot be a true narcissist if you are a true Christian. The holy spirit will absolutely convict you of your sins including the sin of pride which is basically what narcissism is!
I AGREE TOTALLY. Just like all the christians who are voting for non-christian policies and values and will try to argue their point until blue in the face... but it's absolutely pointless to have any sort of constructive conversation on any and all current events because they are absolutely blinded from truth. How is it that you can claim to have the spirit of truth in you YESHUA (Holy Spirit) as a Christian but cannot see truth at all? Isnt compatable.
Most Humanists hate it when you say Satan has blinded their mind from accepting the gospel. As an X Humanist, I thought I was always in control. Humanists have made an absolute mess of society with their religious doctrines.
Dear Kris, your words rang so true! I'm in the early stages of overcoming the damage done by a Christian Narcissist. On the surface he was so utterly charming. He knew his bible....to twist God's word to his own selfish purposes and to control, namely me. Thank you for opening my eyes to the reality. With time, patience, and God's grace I'm overcoming the damage he did. I'm sitting back and allowing God to deal with the situation His way!
He kept redirecting the conversations back to the Word that wasn't even the subject and learning more about the Bible. Never addressing my personal needs. I finally saw it.
This is a great description of my ex husband of 29 years! He was also a pastor, no surprise. He is still this way. Only one of our 9 children will see him, and he claims to not understand why. Instead of looking at himself, he sends them letters with scripture.
I had a friend, or so i thought, who was a leader at church. She leads women's Bible study and kids ministry and we talked a lot and she prayed we would have a deep connection but then it changed fast. I felt I was pouring into the relationship and getting breadcrumbs of fellowship and friendship. To this day I have no closure and she still leads. She's so cold and distant. Please pray as she admitted she is hard hearted, and lacks mercy and compassion. I don't know how she can lead like she does with a hard heart and no compassion or mercy for those she leads. I've forgiven her but please pray God would slowly remove her from ministry so no one else falls for her wolf in sheep's clothing like I did.
@austin33785 it's so sad and behind the behavior she is a person. I pray for her repentance. I pray for many in leadership as we will all have go give an account
Yep exactly what I was going through....and couldn't take it anymore!! I was told I'm being a disobedient wife and being disobedient to God, was told by my husband....you have to obey your husband!! I did everything i was suppose to do as a wife and more and still was told I'm being disobedient 🙄 he never trusted me and i never gave him a reason not to, he was extremely jealous, constantly put blame on me, made me feel like i was the crazy one and yet again still wants me in his life?? Im like are you seriously okay?? No matter how hard you try to figure them out or try to help them its just going to drive you insane!! I walked away...I could not deal with the stress anymore. 😟😞🤦♀️🙄
How did you get divorced? How did you tell him and how did you get him to agree? I have so much anxiety because of his reaction when he gets pissed off he will be passively aggressive and be childish but I just can't bear to get any emotionally exhausting texts or to be with him in person We have been separated since September. Currently trying to write a short email to tell him I want to sign divorce papers
@@tracyannaleclair9320 I think you are supposed to get yourself ready first before leaving or giving divorce papers. You have to be physically safe. It can't be like you are asking them. They will not agree. Your safety as you (and if applicable, your children) exit is paramount.
@@ajeff6480 I told him I wanted to separate and I've been separated since September. We don't live together I got that part straight. She is very passive aggressive spiteful vengeful and he knows if it's his words that cause me the most upset. His dog died a month ago and our pets are like our children because I don't have any and his don't have anything to do with him. My heart broke for him I showed our love support and empathy forum and he just assumed that things are going to go back as if nothing happened. Fast forward I just need to end this because as long as I'm still married to him I'm going to be playing these mind games with myself and rehashing everything, it's not healthy. It'll go bad either way whether I do it in person or via email, the benefit to not doing it in person is I can avoid any sort of emotional manipulation. If I have the money I'd have a lawyer take care of all of it for me but I have to keep him calm and not get him too angry because if I do he'll purposely not sign the papers and make life miserable
@@ajeff6480 This is my punishment/consequence of marrying him despite my second thoughts and doubts. I thought that since we were both believers and have the holy Spirit, while we would struggle we would persevere. But this isn't dealing with a regular person there is no having a relationship with them. I told him I felt like he used me and manipulated me into thinking he was somebody who wasn't so that I would marry him because he was scared and insecure since he was filing bankruptcy and losing everything his retirement from a failed business his house, everything. Excuse me for his own purpose. I just want this to be over already
Give me strength Lord Jesus. I’m struggling providing for my children. I will keep faith. I have two beautiful boys both have special needs. I’m overwhelmed because they require so much from me. I’m fearful because every month is a struggle to not end up on the streets with my boys. Lord restore my faith. I’m so tired Lord Jesus of constantly struggling to pay bills and struggling to buy groceries. Ashamed because I’m failing as a mother. Please Lord continue to give me strength.💕
God doesnt give more than you can handle. Be encouraged. I hope wherever you are you get the assistance you need to lighten your burden. The Lord strengthen you and keep you. The Lord cause his face to shine upon you and grant you His peace. Father hear the cry of your child.
My mom has to tell her story of going to heaven at every family get-together. I've heard that story a thousand times. Her narcissism is a family tradition.
I lived this every day with my mother. No, she never told this story, but was the biggest hypocrite walking! She was extremely legalistic and hypocritical and didn't think it was a problem, it was awful. I was her target all my life with her. She's dead and gone and I never she'd a tear at her passing
You blame religion but youre just the same as your mom. You need to repent and know that Jesus Christ is not a religion but a relationship. Pick up your cross daily and read the word because youre prideful and lack love@angelagrant9163
@@EmpressofChrist It's bragging, trying to prove her specialness with God to others. The extreme low self esteem of narcissists compels them to build up their false self with the veneer of perfection. Classic grandiose Narcissism.
Wow, Wow, Wow! You are remarkable good! You have left me speechless. What you have said in 14 minutes, has taken me years to gather, and research to learn about this horribly destructive personality flaw. Hundreds of videos, articles, etc., and you summed it up, hitting every key area in a few minutes. I hope that everyone has the luck of seeing this video. You are Golden. Bravo to you, and thank you, so very much!
This has been a revelation!! It is so incredible how exact all the characteristics of a narcissist describe who I used to have a relationship with...the put down, being talked over, ignored, the disrespect, the complete lack of empathy....it was exhausting...
Thank you for your teachings wish I knew about them before divorce. Would've answered so many questions and not prolonged abuse from covert narcissist. God bless you keep up the great work.
My adopted mother was a narcissist, She abused,and humiliated me everywhere we went. She died 25 years ago and I have no doubt she is burning in hell for eternity for how badly she ruined my life. She drove away every friend or girl friend I ever had and made sure I was miserable 24/7. Then she had the nerve to tell me at 23y that I owed her grand kids....I told her if she hadnt drove away every girl friend I ever had maybe she would have had them by now but she is the last person I would have ever let my kids around. At 50 deep scars remain but everything makes sense now. The only enjoyment I have is being alone, just me and the dog. It's not much but its good enough for me until this life gets overwith.
God bless you . Sometimes people are so broken and toxic they have nothing to give , please never let that run your life . God says in Isaiah 61:1 he came to bind up the broken heart and set the captive free ! Believe, have faith that God had a bigger plan for your life . Don’t keep yourself in prison . Praying many blessings over you . Amen
So spot on. Remarkable how they all fit a certain template. It took me a long time to get the idea of boundaries after getting eaten alive. Hurt upon hurt, now to dig out.
@@AmandaMoore-t4y Haahaa…… it’s probably a vision now you’ll never get out of your head. God bless you and Thank you for your comment here. So sorry you’re going through all these things. Just know that you are not crazy to the people who post here because we totally can relate.
Exactly, my former friend turned out to be a real religious spirit, not a trace of the Holy Spirit in her after her mother turned her into her clone. Whatever Godliness she once had about her is no longer there. So many religious spirits think being a pharisee makes them filled with the Holy Spirit.
@@FamilyHistoriandude It needs this dicernment to get that revelation. And if H God trusts us with that knowledge that comes out of a pure heart we can be assured we know a lot about how satan works.
@@FamilyHistoriandude Spot on. Many have the word of the Lord without the Lord of the word. Rough paraphrase from the great Christian film "Time Changer". Free on RUclips. Movie Night. ;)
Thank you, these are all things I have seen in family members. I live in a culture in which arguing and fighting is normal and expected. I stay away from them as much as possible. We cannot reach those who are in rebellion against God.
Wow… God brought me here. I’m going through this with my mother-in-law.. this video has brought me a lot of peace when the devil has been trying to get me to think I’m crazy. Glory to God!
@@ashanithesharp I hope your spouse is supporting you ,mines quit after they threaten disinheritance and no contact,Im rid of them both , looking back now ,what was I fighting to keep?
So a narcissist is every person with issues. They're devoid of emotion, controllers. I thought narcissists were just one thing. This is eye opening. Thank you so much for the definitions.
Im in a friendships that I am finding difficult. This person called me her best friend very early in the relationship. Now that the relationship causes me a lot of anxiety and questioning, I feel like being called a best friend was and is being used as a tool to manipulate me.
Mine had me walking on egg shells in my own house. I never knew people like Christian coverts existed, I must of been very fortunate in life I never had to deal with a demonic person before. My love from 46 years ago came back into my life in Aug of 22 I had to ask her to leave my house, I felt bad but she was killing me literally.
Thank you for the video 💜I had to laugh out loud when you said that they say "God will bless me, not you". I litterally had a narcissistic woman in my church tell me: "God showed me that something's about to happen to me and you will be disappointed. Let's just keep it between us" A few years later she accused me of being a witch and I'm not the first one she has done that to 😳 You best believe I stay faaaar away from her
Thank God we're not living in the 1100s - she would have been really dangerous, tossing around witch accusations against people she doesnt like. (then again, maybe narcissists would do that back then?)
@JL-es3gc exactly. I think those people are the "pigs" proverbs is referring to in the observation "...& a pig is washed only to go back to wallowing in the mud". washing a pig is a big job! & useless, because a pig's nature (being unable to sweat) requires it to go in the mud to cool off. so in the Bible, pigs represent people who are unclean inside & unable or unwilling (does it matter?) to be permanently cleansed & take on a new life. I agree --- sadly --- they're not seeking to be transformed, merely made acceptable. sad.
Wow, First time I've ever been on this channel and I have to say everything you said resonates with truth! Often the hardest thing we can do is to love the narcissist Without becoming a victim. The last few years of my mother's life, I would have to stop her and say I can't participate in this relationship when you act this way, But I still love you.
Absolutely !! I’m seeing so much now that I’ve walked away from it. I felt so used & abused. I definitely was !! I pray to God I never allow this to happen to me again !!
I'm perplexed , by the bibles declaration , that we would be exposed to NARCISSISTS , LOVERS OF THEMSELVES . AND YET , THIS PHENOMENA IS IN OUR CHURCHES AND FAMILIES AND YET THERE IS NO PROGRAM OR ALERTNESS , OR HONESTY , IN HOW A CONGREGATION CAN DEAL WITH THIS.
Yes!!!! Exactly 💯 I told the truth about a wolf in sheep's clothing in my very first church and they didn't believe me!!! She was demon possessed and running rings around them while abusing me and the demons would only manifest with me but they thought I was crazy unfortunately and believed her, she was laughing at them. She died and I don't know if she was saved in the end but if not, they enabled a soul to go to hell. No one I think will believe me in the church either now about my husband who has tried to push me into suicide. It's been a horrendous 14 years of serious covert abuse. The church haven't got a clue the level of this. I think the Lord might be bringing me into a ministry of exposing wolves - I told him six years ago no way, I'm not the person for the job lol but I think I am. I can see them. When I got saved, demons manifested in children where I was teaching, all over the place. But my husband has been the most difficult. Because they're so hidden. It's sneaky and slow, drip, drip, drip.... devastating. Only by God's Grace and mercy for me as a blood bought daughter of the King am I alive to tell the tale. I'm leaving him finally in about two weeks. I was shown the truth and of course, it has set me free. Amen ❤️🙏
Most churches are not equipped to deal with this. The pastors and elders who have never dealt with narcissism before have no clue on how to spot this. When I brought the issues I was going through in my marriage to an elder during counseling. He told me that I should just “love” my wife more in spite of the emotional abuse, rage and other manipulation tactics and devious things she was doing behind my back.
@@imperfectillustration6261 I hear ya. "They are not our friends but rather our worst enemies who sooth people in their sins." Sin and Repentance ignored and we see the results "feel good" deluded secular humanists with Bible verses mixed in. God Bless your future. 🙏
After they went to church for decades, both my relative narcs are getting worse by the day. I told them, when you go to church listening to the Good news, it is like listening to Diet Doctor on how to slim down(or enter heaven), you have to literally go on diet/exercise and 'walk' what you had learned in church. You can't just listen to priest every Sunday but after church you are doing your nasty/vicious stuff again. you will forever not going to 'slim down'.
Am I a People Pleaser Quiz? Discover Your Type.
krisreece.com/am-i-a-people-pleaser/
those arent christians but of the devil . God Lord Yeshua said : you cant sit here near my taqble and eat from it when/if you sit near devils table and feast from it .
Thisi s So True!!@bride0fLORDYESHUA
@bride0fLORDYESHUA Hollow individuals TRUE!!! No conquence! Evil spirits!!! Scammers, cheats stealers thieves. Best of Liars!!! Phony Pretenders!!! Con- artist!!!
He was Lucifers brother!!!
I took the quiz & found out I'm a Recovering People Pleaser. I'd say that pretty accurate for me.
I was a narcissist. I had no Idea that I was. By God's grace he saved my soul, but its taken many years for me to realize by Gods mercy that I was a narcissist. It's been a horrific revelation. Yet God in his great love and gentleness has changed me over the years and continue to lead me out of this hallow, lonely shallow place and making me finally into a person who can care for others by his Holy Spirit and not need to have all focus on myself. May The Lord in his grace deliver all narcissists from such a cruel heart and very dark place in Jesus name amen.
well done seeing your old self and now it is time to heal on.
Were you married? what kinds of things did you do to your partner as a narcissist?
That’s a very comforting message. I just realized my daughter has become a full fledged narcissist after marrying one 19 years ago. I’ve been tortured by her for 18 years, she’s used the grandchildren as weapons, the oldest is 18, then 15, 6, and 1. My husband and I think they’ve spaced out the children to keep us hooked taking care of their housing, electricity, car, insurance, heating for 18 years, they are both very entitled. We can’t cut them off or it’ll put the grandchildren on the street. We’ve been praying together daily to release my daughter from the darkness of narcissism. You have shared a beautiful message of God’s grace, mercy, love, and redemption. This is the first positive message I’ve seen since realizing the awful dilemma we are facing. Praise God!!! I will continue to pray for her frequently and fervently. God bless you for sharing 🙏🙏🙏
if you thought that you are a narcissist, then you are NOT a narcissist because narcissist will NEVER reflect badly on themselves; they believe they are the most perfect/holy person on earth.
@@spaideman7850 Apparently you don't believe that God can change such a heart. Sad for you.
Rule number 1 when dealing with a narcissist is to NEVER call them out, it’s a waste of time and you will be berated and gaslighted for it. The Bible in Proverbs 9:7 puts it this way; “Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return. Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt.” (NLT). A ‘Christian’ narcissist is nothing more than a wicked person masking to be one of God’s people, it’s nothing but smoke and mirrors. Rather than have a sit down with them, put all your energy into your secret exit strategy and leave and don’t look back!
Speak truth/facts to them in the power of the Holy Spirit. No matter how they respond.
Very good comment! Thanks 😊!! The Bible even says:…from such turn away in 2. Timothy 3! No discussion, no mercy, to whatsoever, just turn away! The Bible has an answer by the Holy Spirit 2000 years ago, what psychology suggests today to do with narcissists
Bullseye 🎯!
@@davidrosen3736i have to read again. U cannot remember it all
That's exactly what I experienced I didn't call him directly a narcissist but I told him he was emotionally a psychologically abusive He twists the truth blame shifts manipulate through his behavior and emotions who's guilt and shame and And finally that I felt like he used me manipulated me into thinking he was somebody who wasn't for me to marry him because he was scared and wanted stability.
Oh well did I learn that that was not the way to go.
“Trying to emotionally connect with a narcissist is like trying to water a plastic plant”…..that’s a mic drop moment. Amen.
@@Jonas-gl9keI don't know that they "think" they have converted. I am fairly certain most of them know they haven't connected to any god, bùt get pleasure out of fooling other people to think that they have.
ALL Christians are on the narcissists spectrum... It's build into their dogma!
It's not about mic drops, the whole point of this is to remain humble and nonjudgemental ourselves. The idea behind a "mic drop" is prideful and unchristian. The lesson is to recognize when someone is being guided by the Holy Spirit vs guided by the flesh so we know who to listen to. It's not about judging and condemning narcissists.
@@UT4Clips The whole idea of christianity, especially today in the "church" as it's become, is a hypocrisy, illogical and completely and wholly narcissistic
I actually once did water a plastic plant. Everybody had a good laugh. 😆
For those who confuse confidence and arrogance, here's a fun way to remember the difference: Confidence is when you are sure of yourself. Arrogance is when you are full of yourself.
@@Logan_Bishop_YT oooh deep
@@Logan_Bishop_YT love it!
Yes, I've always thought arrogance is really NOT attractive, it's annoying. Confidence though, is attractive.
Love this!
@@Logan_Bishop_YT genius!
There is a difference between being a born again Christian and simply claiming to be a Christian. Huge.
There is also a big difference between being saved and being a Christian.
Every Christian is a saved person, however, not every saved person is a Christian.
Few know the difference or care.
@jamieshinn4355 True! anyone can be a Christian. But a born again believer IS actually saved. The Bible clearly says that!
@@wrongfullyaccused7139 Christ is the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through Jesus
Absolutely a huge difference. Narcassists reflect satan's personality (for lack of better word).
@@carolforsythe6316 : I never said otherwise. Has nothing to do with my post.
It seems you did not comprehend it.
My vulnerable narcissist ex-husband of 25 years told me during our separation that he was praying to see if God wanted him to restore our marriage- while he was living with another woman. I was like- are you kidding me? I cannot fathom the thought process. He would text me in the morning- Praying for you today. While she was sleeping under the same roof as him. Uh uh- go on with your crazy self.
@@sbyrum315 that’s so mental. The absolute nerve on him. Disgusting.
@@EBM0424 sorry you went through that. HUGS
@@sbyrum315 they are truly crazy 😂 😭
@@sbyrum315 wow he’s so wrong for that
Absolutely delusional
Literally JUST broke off our engagement. I think for me the absolute worst part of being with a Christian Narcissist is how they use Gods word to manipulate you in to suppressing our desire to leave the toxic relationship and second would be the gaslighting.
How were you able to finally figure out that she was a narcissist? And how did you break off the engagement?
Congratulations!
I'm glad you broke your engagement because you saved yourself from years of abuse. On my wedding I knew I was making a mistake. I didn't have the courage to speak up. That night my narcissist ex husband refused to have sex. I thought we were both virgins. I found out later he gave me an std. I remained a virgin for 16 months. Our sexless marriage was for 19.5 years. It ended when he had an affair. Again, I'm glad you have the courage to do what you did. Ironically we met and were married in a Baptist church.
@@ruthgunneson-poling1571 After my divorce my best friend warned me, "Stay away from any guy you meet in.church--there are some really sick people in church!"
He who marries the VIRGIN does well. He who does not marry, does better..... Apostles, In that case it is better for a man not to marry. (Jesus) For those who can accept this, should accept this.
“Your needs are a nuisance” to a narcissist … great realization 👍
Yes, after I married mine, on our honeymoon he pulled out a long list of 'thou shalt do's' and read them off to me one by one. Then he informed me that when I have emotional needs, they are to be met by my friends, not him. Well, what lousy timing, because that's when we moved to an entirely different country where I knew NO ONE! I didn't know he was a Narc back then, but I grew to know what one was by the time I left him 31 years later. And when our children left home, I did, too, for good!
I finally realized this after years of abuse, but thanks be to God, He got it thru to me, and the freedom that accompanied the revelation cannot be measured.
31 YEARS???@@GwenArlene8181
" The devil knows scripture". This is a gem.
@@nightowl6260 Better than most humans, past, present, and future.
Absolutely he does and he sits in the church. He appears on the outside to be a Christian but behind closed doors he is a devil. 😈
@@AZ-ww4ok He was, after all an angel . . . but, he was defeated at the cross of Jesus Christ so take authority that is already yours over this Other.
The devils know who Christ is....and they tremble. James2:19
Yes ...he does and probably better than most people...he's only been around a few thousand years
It has been a shock dealing with a non narcissistic individual she doesn’t rage out, doesn’t take an innocent comment as an attack, doesn’t lie to me, doesn’t make false accusations, doesn’t trash me to the outside world, doesn’t scoff at me, doesn’t diminish my accomplishments, doesn’t ignore me, doesn’t deny reality despite evidence to the contrary, doesn’t mock my children, doesn’t project what they have done onto me, doesn’t spoil special occasions, is pleasant to my relatives, doesn’t have me falsely arrested. It’s been a very pleasant shock!
That is honestly to great to hear! When lies of the enemy want to creep in remember you don’t deserve it and rebuke that! May your journey be so sweet with your spouse!
Me me me me me....interesting
Are you the same to her?
Now you can count your blessings! It's like coming back from the dead, isn't it?
@@boondocks8002yep, he's enjoying life again. He's listing His blessings
Sadly many pastors are narcissistic now a days!!! It’s been hard finding true elders anymore 😢
Even more so are church goers, naturally as there is more of them, however I'm seeing this more and more!
After they went to church for decades, both my relative narcs are getting worse by the day. I told them, when you go to church listening to the Good news, it is like listening to Diet Doctor on how to slim down(or enter heaven), you have to literally go on diet/exercise and 'walk' what you had learned in church. You can't just listen to priest every Sunday but after church you are doing your nasty/vicious stuff again. you will forever not going to 'slim down'.
@@brotherjames1623 you are correct! The covert hides well in religion
Yes. I've found this to be true myself. But now that I'm dependent on God and know His genuine Love I know better.
Wondering if the former pastor of the mega church in Southlake Texas is this kind of person.
He initially threw out a large amount of DARVO when his escapades with a 12 y/o girl were finally made public in the past couple of weeks.
Come to think of it, possibly the elders who knew she was 12 are narcissist as well.
I read something that stuck with me: “Sitting in church every week doesn’t make you a Christian any more than sitting in the garage makes you a car.” By their fruits ye shall know them. There will be legions os people sitting in the pews or in pulpits that will NOT be in the Kingdom of heaven.
@@marywenzel3199 my mother, many years ago, told me Satan goes to church every Sunday too!
If you want to spot narcissist:
1. They are always right. 2. They are very defensive 3. They always blame others 4. They would never listen 5. They will ounish you. 6. They play mind games. 7. They lie.
Now narcissism is on spectrum so some have more narcissistic traits than others.
Punish
I'm a Christian and a licensed clinical therapist.... And that's not what the DSM says about the characteristics to diagnose someone with narcissistic personality disorder... Please be careful about naming all unbecoming traits of an individual characteristics as "narcissism"... While everything you named is unhealthy behavior, it doesn't make someone the clinical definition of a "narcissist".
@blessedandannointed
Thank you for your comment. Although I believe there are narcs, in general, I think we all have some bad behavioural issues where we need to surrender to the Lord becoming more Christ like.
@blessedandannointed Eye-opening..."unhealthy behaviors, "... thank you for that!
@@blessedandannointedMany of the people commenting seem to be able to label others “narcissists “ but amazingly nobody here could EVER have such characteristics!
Amen I found out that these wolves in sheep clothing religious narcissist love preaching the gospel as long as the gospel is not confronting and exposing anything about them .
Or they have a very superficial understanding of the gospel use other people's words and insights to make them sound like they're further along than they are. Hijack cliches the churches say pastor say, the chameleons
@@tracyannaleclair9320 absolutely!
Tell me about it!
They despise altar calls.
@@Bluettes-cm7wo Personally, I don't like altar calls. When I preach, I would tell people, "Deal with God where you are." I will not use peer pressure to force an artificial reaction.
I lived with a narcissist thirty-five plus years. 😢I left that person over a couple of years ago. Thank God today I live at peace. A narcissist will train your mind to be toxic and be around that environment. When I left the narcissist I had to train my mind to think and live; like I used to in my younger years. When I lived at peace with no drama. I mastered it. Today I tell others that cross my path on NARCISSISM. Some individuals will not understand because it's a bad manipulative experience with these people. They hide behind a mask. They are the devil's advocates. A narcissist can be your boss, your neighbor, your sibling, etc. Thank you for sharing this AWESOME teaching.
Trump & the Maga cultists. Vote blue💙🌊🙏🙏 God help us.
@zulemaflores8796 I too lived 38 yrs with a narcissists. He didn't show it up front but over tge years it came out and he prostituted me for 20 yrs. I left him 2 yrs ago and now at 70 yrs old I am finding myself and God. I am finally myself being peaceful and full of love. Ready to help others. God is great
@@HopeKrakowski-hu8whBut in a way the Democratic Party are narcissistic themselves. High taxes every time and they say they love you. Higher taxes on bottle water and shopping bags but they say they love you. Riots everywhere but they say they love you. No freedom of speech but they say they love you. They keep the people poor to rule them but they say they love them. Here money here vote for me but they don’t care that the city water and farms are contaminated as well as the vaccines. Vote for me I’ll give you citizenship but remember you have to be on our side isn’t that also narcissistic? Who should we vote for? Can’t trust NO ONE of ANY PARTY!
@@magpie222Sorry to hear that. Why did you let someone prostitute you for so long? Not even for one time. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings but what exactly happened? He needs to be in prison. Maybe he was or still is a human trafficker. Be careful and stay safe
@@onewotldgovernmentonlywhen9044 he threatened to take everything away, I am diabetic and needed his insurance until Medicare hit. That is when I cut the ties. I stopped letting him film me doing guys. He will never post another video or picture of me
They have the nerve to call you manipulative and toxic if they dont like the way you react to the pain they cause you. They assume the worst about you and refuse to forgive you. They project their character flaws onto you.
Excellent comment
@@FamilyHistoriandude Boy is that a fact.
@@FamilyHistoriandude True
And they even go and humiliate you behind your back by their flying monkeys who THINK he is this great kind living superior guy
I just recently find out that HE call ME now the narcissist and his flying monkey friends actually believes him. No wonder, because they know him only by the love, flattering and kind attention he bestow on them
These are VERY VERY sick individuals ... after the second narc in my life, I'm done ... my life now will go solo, never to be treated like I'm a nothing who are a demon, stupid, ugly bitch, jealous, fight seeking fool etc .... while all along its they who are chase YOU with these bad nrac habits of them
God help us to stop feeling sorry for these species and give them all they do not deserve ... love, affection, tolerance and power over our very own breath even ... It's satanic to say the least
Let’s not forget their classic guilt tactic of, “I’m so sorry! I guess I’m just not important enough in your life to find/take time to care about me.” 🙄
I almost didn't click on this because it's absolutely impossible to be a Christian and a narcissist. Narcissists NEVER put Jesus on the throne of their lives because they are god and everyone exists to serve them. My first time listening to you. You nailed it. The church is the narcissist's playground.
Very well said, agree 100%..
Not every church is this way. God wants your trust in Him not people. If you read your scripture you will find He is not impressed by ourselves but by whether we actually honor and put out trust in Him, if that makes sense ❤️🙏
Wow. I thought the church is the sinner's hospital, and that would include the narcissist as well as the psychologist who speaks of them with contempt. I do not see the love or compassion of Jesus for the sinner in this presentation. 😢 You may now remove my comment from this toxic place.
@@jerriwoodard6677 I agree. My ex is a born-again Christian and really loves God. Unfortunately, he never sought counseling because of course it was never him, it was always everyone else. That’s why I finally left. He had deep wounding in childhood, and really tried to change, but never sought counseling or help with his abusive and narcissistic tendencies. It’s sad because his three adult kids don’t want anything to do with him. And I just had to leave and try to put my life back together. It’s very sad for all involved.
@jerriwoodard6677 The presenter is caring for the vulnerable, the victim of abuse, the "downtrodden", by enlightening them about the abusers' behaviour. If your concern is because you have never been a target of abuse, lucky you. Watch and learn.
It was really sad but, I had a friend who I thought was like a sister to me…I never really knew the signs of narcissism. Me and her were friends for about two and a half years, and she displayed ALL of these qualities. When I confronted her about things she did to hurt me, she rolled her eyes and gaslit me and I actually apologized! We would always talk about her, she sucked my energy, never let me speak, barely ever gave emotional space for me, and projected her character flaws onto me when I confronted her. It was awful, and sadly, that friendship was a total waste of my time, but I believe God redeems and I’ve learned a lot about guarding my heart and discernment since then. I cut her off after I tried confronting her and it got spun around on me. Best decision of my life, but I do pray her eyes are opened to her own narcissism cuz I can imagine how lonely she is and empty always relying on others to fill her where only Jesus can, she’s just seeking love in the wrong places and in the wrong ways. She doesn’t know any better, so I’ve learned to forgive her and at the end of the day, we wrestle not against flesh and blood.
I always feel genuinely sorry for people like you, so innocent with a pure heart. Your emotions are real, while the others are faking it. Don't let life rob you of your kindness, but guard against the takers and users in life.
@amberlynfaulstich7134 I can so relate to this! I have never had a close friend, except in early childhood. I get lonesome for a sincere friendship. For years, I've been looking for a friend or friends that we're like-minded. I either end up disappointed, let down, exhausted, frustrated, and even sometimes angry or feel all at th same time. I keep connecting with the wrong ppl.
But I pray that one day, God sends that special person or persons.....
@@amberlynfaulstich7134 well done you 👍 Sounds like you made all the right choices there, and the fact that you are forgiving her is a big step in the right path.
@@rgoodman4082 exactly,i feel the same ,what ever sister amber went through i went through the same and may there aint people matching our enery levels or humility even when we are aware no one is perfect including us but there is also this truth if we are truly Jesus's followers then his nature will abide in us and we wil treat each other like how david and jonathans friendship was...much examples from bible..i feel so alone ,may God get us the true friend in christ who will never forsake us no matter what and also help us to not forsake our brothers in sisters in christ on small small things..major reason for why christiams build walls is because of spirit of offense and leviathan
Everything you share about yourself on a deep level will be remembered to the point of memorization by the narcissists and filed in their brains under "future ammunition".
So true. They NEVER,forget anyrhing you say, do or discuss. When you think the matter is resolved and finished it wil pop out of the narcissists mouth like an evil jack in the box.
After they do this a few times you'll see how shallow, vapid they are.
There's nothing really there so thry use that to fill the void (them).
Then they become pathetically boring.
@@1233-h1 They also will just change what you said or did and will often fail to even give information about pertinent things going on or what the narcissist actually said and so on. They manipulate,fabricate,and are the best actors/actresses you could imagine! They also seek out people they can manipulate and they choose empathetic type people. 💃❤️🦮
Yes, this is why truth-tellers are so often caught in the webs of these monsters.
Truth
@@1233-h1 Isn't that all women?
They’re hurting they’re hurting badly, and they’ve never felt love. We still need to pray for them and hope they have a true conversion of heart.
It is true they are hurting. They never FELT love because they never knew how to love. They confuse love with feeling, not with self giving.
They cannot recognize another's sacrifice for their benefit because no matter how much of another's goodness, from the heart, they receive, it is NEVER adequate. They are entitled to everything that life can afford.
When the other has given till they are spent, the narc has to find another source of supply. They always anticipate that, so they line up future sources for the inevitable exhaustion of the one at hand.
It's an unending cycle. They leave destruction in their wake wherever they go. Chances are, they have an address where all their mail goes so they cannot be traced. No responsibility, no consequences! It's always someone else's duty to take care of those things for them.
@@annettealrand9736 THIS is honestly the hardest part for me. I see that little girl behind the mask and how sad, scared and alone she feels. So it’s this conflicting feeling between dealing with the narcissist in front of you while, at the same time, looking at the hurt person inside of them 💔
@@annettealrand9736 and this is where healthy boundaries come in.
Some have experienced love. I loved my children more than anything. After one became friends with many girls with wealthy parents she became down right mean. After the other had a very abusive boyfriend that nearly cost us our lives, she is now the abusive one.
They never will have a change of heart. Sadly most narcs don't realize they are narcissists.
Thanks for confirming that it’s ok to debate a Christian with God’s word. A friend told me not to, but I responded that I prefer to rely on God’s power and wisdom and not my own.
Excellent decision here ❤️🙏!!!
@@dawnkravagna3200 Beautifully stated ! I’d like to borrow your quote. 🙏🏻 It is powerful ! ☺️
That's the whole meaning behind being a Christian, you get it. Those who are born again of the spirit understood that we cannot rely on ourselves, we can only rely on Christ.
"All Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped, having been thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
That person is not a FRIEND. They misunderstand the Word itself lol Be careful; be discerning 😉
"If you're the type to mistake arrogance for confidence or scripture reading for true biblical belief, you, too, could be swayed into believing that you are dealing with a secure person who is able to handle criticism" - So, so good, Kris! I'm truly grateful for you! 5:02
He kept changing the conversation to a Bible study instead of listening.
I'm so glad the videos are blessing you.
@@Kris_Reece
1) "Intimate Connection." Every time I write a devotional, he's not interested in discussing it. He simply glances at it, but is not interested in learning.
2) Criticism. My own personal narcissist expected me to drive him to the supermarket after church every Sunday. He didn't even use the self-service lane! It took him forever to get in and out of there. One time I didn't get home until 2:30 (church had ended at noon). I said, "When are you going to buy your own car?" He screamed at me, "I DON'T WANT A CAR!" He didn't care if I criticized him or not. (I have met other narcissists who did, in fact, take suggestions as a threat; or at least they would simply dismiss me as "uneducated.")
3) Pride. UGH! One time I had written an essay about the Holy Spirit. Another church member was eager to learn more and I wanted to expand on the lesson. She asked me a question. But my own personal narcissist butted in and answered it for me. He has a way of dominating conversations and crowding me out. He then wasted 15 minutes on useless small talk about a job he once had. Another time, I had written a novel (unpublished). The family loved it. He said, "I helped him write it." I was so angry! I said, "No, you didn't!" He screamed, "YES, I DID!" For several years afterward, he kept harassing me, demanding, "How much money did you make on that book?!" I finally said, "Nothing! I don't expect to get rich doing that!" (That finally shut him up.)
4) "Needs." There was a time when I worked 60 hours per week and had very little time for Bible study. After work, I would go to my room and shut the door, because I need quiet solitude in order to read and write. My own personal narcissist complained that I didn't watch TV with him.
5) Misuse of Scripture. I finally had enough of my own personal narcissist, so I kicked him out of my apartment. He insisted I owed him. He quoted Cain: "Am I my brother's keeper?" I told him he couldn't use that as a blank check to get anything he wanted from me.
Wow. You stood up for yourself!!!
I bet it felt great. And you probably thought. Why didn't I do it earlier.
Well done for you and keep writing. Even if it is only for your pleasure. ❤
@@davidlafleche1142 Jesus said, Let the dead bury their dead and follow Me.
The last point rang true for my elderly mother, instability. "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." James 1:8
Exactly!
What does the verse mean? It’s not literal. How can someone be unstable in all their ways?
@@lr1698 as someone that has been fighting with OCD (pure-o)....I would say that is what OCD is...You can not stand uncertainty...as soon you think you are certain...the doubt comes
Honor your mother and father. Trust me...
@@lr1698
It is literal. If they speak out of both sides of their mouth, have a different answer to the same concept with different countries involved (when the answer should logically be the same, irrespective of which countries are at play), or they lie often/consistently, they're double minded and unstable in all their ways.
God has been good to me & rescued me from a sister in Christ I just met at church for the 1st time. She wrote me a note placed it into my hands & said she had to run the note said she needed a friend & to please call her.
When I called her on that day I immediately noticed a shift in how she approached me verses how demanding she sounded on the phone saying that I will be meeting her for coffee @ 1pm on Monday off the bat w/o humbling herself to ask am I even available. Yeah things got worst as she then instantly blamed me of being unfriendly and once I successfully switch conversation around she found another way of doing the same thing over again & that's when I prayed as she was making her up own plans claiming I'm part of it & I broke the bad news to her in sharing how Paul & Barnabas had to split going their separate ways due to a disagreement and how that is exactly what's happening w/us on this 1st phone call we're having.
So I ended the madness & safely left the phone, but then she immediately sent a text saying that I'm not a real Christian so I told her that we can meet the pastor if she'd like to mediate what just happened on our 1st phone call & thanks be to God Almighty she backed off ASAP.
I ignored the red flags because I believed he was a man of God...I believed God had brought him into my life. I tried so hard to be an obedient wife...I prayed, I forgave, I wasn't allowed to get angry...I made minimal requests and did everything he wanted to do and anticipated his needs. He did not need to anything. He still blamed me for his lying and cheating.. He claimed it was for my protection.
I am divorced now...I did everything I could in trying to save my marriage including sacrificing myself. I almost succeeded in taking my own life.
I look forward to more of your content to learn why this man was allowed into my life. God allows everything....
God Bless You. Think this movie will encourage you for your future good days: "The Encounter" 5 people Encounter Jesus 4 set free to live abundantly. Be with the 4, 4Ever. :)
@@lorianttila9698 he was in your life because you chose him and said "yes" as I did. After I left my narcissistic ex, I had to figure out how I ended up with a man like that so I never make that choice again.
@lorianttila9698 you answered the question yourself, YOU IGNORED RED FLAGS, God gave you the ability to discern, you need to trust that discernment.
Yes, God allows free will BUT God only wants the best for us. Anything evil that comes into our lives, comes from humans-from the evil that humans can do. So it’s a fine distinction, but you need to know that bad things don’t come from God.
“What comes to you of good is from God, but what comes to you of evil, [O man], is from yourself.” (Quran 4:79 Sahih International translation)
Please don’t be offended by me quoting the Quran-normally I wouldn’t try helping a Christian with God’s last message, because I know you don’t believe. But in your case, I feel that you might need the comfort of this distinction that God gives us. I sincerely hope this helps.
Personally, I’ve come to believe the Quran is God’s last and final message, but you have your religion and I have mine… I’m just trying to help.
@yvonnes7412 Thank you. I am not offended, and I am grateful to you. Yes, I am still struggling with what happened. One of the tools the narcissist used was controlling me with his religious beliefs. He unraveled everything I had learned and believed, including I was worthy of God's love. When I cried because Jesus died on the cross for me...the narcissist mocked and shamed me.
I have always understood that there are many philosophies and beliefs and accept what works for one may not work for another. And God says we need to love one another as we love ourselves.
Thank you, I hope you too are safe And free
Not to long ago I started putting some physical and emotional distance between a malignant, religious, narcissist and myself. The narcissist started texting to ask for help. I repeatedly refused providing the help. The narcissist texted that I was not a Godly person and I would always be alone. I texted back telling about a time in my young life when I put a gun to my head and tried mustering the nerve to pull the trigger. At that moment Christ spoke to me saying, "you are not alone.You were never alone. I was always with you." I asked this religious narcissist who should I believe, you or Christ?
Amen. And Love gives Lust takes.
Hi Larry -
Wow that had to hurt, and some people you just cannot help - they will keep using & when you hesitate or back off for mental health sake, you often get backlash. I read through what that person told you and then scrolled back up to the comment from @hereim5648 - it's almost a checklist! I know someone like this, and tried, for many yrs, to help - they do not even realize (to believers, but perhaps even those that are not) how very fake their version 'Christianity' appears. Sad, and fear they will never understand true healing & redemption.
Wow, Amen, what a great response!
And what was narcissistic reply?
When I thought my husband was, I realized that I did many of these things as well. It was then that I could repent and begin to show a greater Gospel love to my husband. I didn’t so much have the “arrogance of accomplishments” or “expecting service from others” but there were aspects. It was difficult to realize sins in myself that I was blind to but God was gracious to open my eyes to it. God continues to patiently and lovingly discipline and sanctify us, healing our marriage and deepening our relationship with Him. It’s a heart issue with a Gospel remedy! Actually, I suppose we all have selfish characteristics and will battle sin until we go to be with the Lord. It’s why we need Christ and to remember His Gospel every day.
@@michelleinchristalone2769 You are right, all of us can be selfish and put ourselves over others. We need to remember to take the beam out of our eyes before we try to take the mote out of someone else's eye.
You are right, we can ALL be selfish and put ourselves before our families and friends. Thinking they should cater to us. I try to remember to take the beam out my eye before I try to take the mote out of someone else's eye.
"Your needs are a nuisance". Great line, and so true.
I feel like this happens a lot especially in men’s/women’s Bible study groups, too. When you have a concern and you’re brushed off as being “angry”. It’s frustrating.
“You don’t understand “
Is a big red flag. If you express fact, they will claim you are ignorant and “don’t understand”.
It is a hard lesson to learn that loving and serving others does not necessarily mean pleasing them
For sure love without truth becomes mere sentimentality. We need to love our friends more than our friendships and warn them if they act as if they are on the broad road to hell. You shall know them by their fruits.
@@RicoMnc true
This is a very good point
Excellent point! A well said summary! Look to be led by the Holy Spirit always. When you feel a check on giving.....don't give......
This gal is so great! Thank you for always getting to the point with no distractions,
At the start of this video, I knew where she was going with the analogy. The problem is for those of us who were raised by narcissists. We ONLY know the fake because that's all we grew up with. We then become the scapegoats for narcissists because we tell the lies they tell.....and get caught. When you're young, you know something is "off" in your gut, but ....what....nevermind that they're a "Christian" and would NEVER do that. You're just a bad kid who is CLEARLY wrong.....
I could go on and on but this is the reality of GEN X'ers who had to deal with narcissists. The struggle was real
WELL SAID !! 👌
Not just the Gen X`ers, children of all generations who've had to be raised by narcissist 😢 Narcissism has been around since the beginning of time, it just didn't have a name 😔
It took me a long time, but I can see narcissism pretty well. I've done tons of research over the years on NPD, and I can safely say most people with NPD will never be diagnosed.
I'm now in a good, healthy, loving relationship with someone who knows my inherent weaknesses ingrained into me by constant narcissistic abuse.
Jesus Christ is the reason I have such a wonderful relationship.
I only feel safe when I'm completely alone.
I get that!!👍👍
But unless God specifically said for you to be alone, you shouldn’t be alone. what you need to do is go to God and ask him for your family. Psalm 68:6 God takes the lonely and He sets them in a family. 💖 It worked for me.
@@amagickalmeliss Amen ! God bless your family 💟
She knows what her boundaries are.
Me too friend 😬🥴
I’m a pastor in Sweden who just found you and this is very valuable information for us who work with people, I also work as a nurse and in that profession we meet many narcissistic people along the way
You're beautiful
I wish i would have known these things in my 20's. It very literally took me a lifetime to figure this stuff out. And i still cannot put it into words.
You do it so well 👍.
It was not allowed to talk about narcissism on the media of years & decades ago!!
My experience is exactly the same.
I was a bank teller and i can tell you it was so easy to find a counterfeit because i saw real money all day long
@@marietgagliardi money has a distinct smell.
@@bendiggs1036 😅 New money, maybe. But when it's been passed around from sweaty hand to sweaty hand, pushed down sweaty bras or pants...it takes on other smells. I never believed people whey they said how dirty money was until I spent all day handling it and got warm, moist money from people in the drive-through. 🤢
They feel different. You do not need to look at them, you can just touch them.
Pride is such an important signal. Yet so many people feel attracted by arrogance, even when it's a chaotic, unsteady baby in an adult's body. Lies are also a red flag. Narcissists lie & lie. Whereas truth is golden. Thank you for the insightful info!
"I have finally seen the light" so to speak. It took me 65 years to finally let them go. Now, since I choose not to engage even when the nice side comes out. I have be DONE DONE DONE! It's not easy, but necessary for survival.
@@Maga-Muffin.59 So blessed to read your comment My mother, too, is about to say goodbye to my father, after 65 years. All of my life, I've understood that she has never received the love, commitment and respect that Dad committed to provide her, when they took their vows. In every way, he has failed the honor and uphold the covenant that he swore to honor & uphold. Even my grandmother called to her attention, that their vows were not equal or balanced. SHE promised to treat HIM with love, respect and compassion, until the ends of their lives, yet HE did NOT promise her the same. She now says she regrets not paying heed to her mother's advice. I've been trying to convince her to open her eyes for many years. I wish it had happened many years ago, but better late, than never!
@MoMo-mi4lm... how'd you go about getting out of it? According to what you said, I think we're about the same age
I've had narcs around my whole life: family, best friends, co-workers.
I had to cut them off once I realized what they were, because keeping them in my life meant not only would I snap one day, they'd influence my kids. That's what kept me motivated to drop the toxic people, no matter how much it hurt: they were _not_ going to be able to access my children. I've even cut the enablers off.
I'm quite a bit younger than you, but it still took me too long to be able to go no-contact. Kinda like what people say about when they got saved; they wish they'd accepted Jesus sooner. For me, I wish I'd been able to cut off contact sooner. (Yes I'm saved. Have been since I was 5.)
I'm so glad you are free!
I wish you Jesus's blessings on the rest of your life. 💚
Thank you so much for helping me understand my ex-husband and everything he did and why. It was so confusing when I was married to him. He was an elder in the church but behind closed doors he was a monster. I went to counseling by myself for years to try to fix what was wrong with me because he made me believe everything was my fault. Listening to videos like yours and reading about npd helps me so much. It's painful but at the same time helpful (if that makes sense.) He ordered a mail-order bride from China soon after the divorce and my heart breaks for her. Kris, God is using you mightily to help people like me. Thank you so much and God bless you!
Thank you for sharing. I'm blessed to hear that the videos have been helpful for you. :)
Street Angel… Home Devil
This Lady here , Dr. Carter " Free to be Me" series ( RUclips) and Dr. Ramani Top Foremost Expert on all things Toxic and Narcissistic Literally Saved my sanity when I was Frazzled, and confused, pulling my hair out over a Covert manipulator's Toxic Word Salad , a Lady that came across as perfectly Delightful , said all the Right things, appeared to Do all the Right things for about 11 months until WHAM, her mask fell off !
Wow our marriage experiences parallel each other. All those decades destroyed me. Mine was before psychotherapy was a thing. 🙏🙏
@@MJ-my9sg I'm so sorry you suffered at the hands of your abuser! It's terrible that there are so many of us.
Thank you for doing these videos & providing resources. I realized semi-recently that one of my “closest” friends growing up displays a LOT of narcissistic traits. I’m hoping to grow past the insecurities I gained from it, and learn how to avoid such relationships in my future.
I’ve noticed in business dealings that anytime someone you just met finds a way to tell you they are Christian, they aren’t. They are just hoping that you drop your guard, and they are about to try and swindle you.
Yep , in every way
Yes a Christian does not tell you about their Christianity They show you By how they treat you & their Honesty.
If that's true then how do we witness to people?
I get the point , and I'm sure you could find a lot of scriptures to back your point but I don't know anywhere in the Bible where it says don't tell people you're Christian . Yes I know it's by our actions and all that ,I get it.
Personal opinion is one thing, but sharing the word is our calling and command
@@lancesouth1101 it’s one thing to preach. I get that 100%. That is its own situation and involves honesty.
It’s a totally different animal if someone tells you they are Christian and then tries to deceive you in a business dealing. That’s not Christian behavior.
Witnessing to people is in fact showing them that you are what you say you are, and that is absolutely necessary. I support that.
Yes beware if they tell you that they are Christian....
It is like watering a plastic plant. It does NOT work on them.
@@Spartacus2474 fantastic analogy!
I love this analogy!!
Funny how she use water analogy. Did the rain water come from a leaky roof?. Proverbs 12:15 A constant dripping on a rainy and a contentious woman are alike. Restraining her is like holding back the wind or grasping oil with ones right hand. It takes two to tango. But women by nature (sinful nature) are narcissistic. They are vain, look into the mirror far more, worried about looks and outward appearances of themselves. Everything and I mean everything (clothing, makeup, hair color, jewelry) that is made "for a woman" costs a lot more and specifically targets the narcissistic tendencies of women. Women not only buy into it, they will pay double or triple. Make it pink, you will be charged double for it and you lose half the populations interest in the item (men). Logic and reason don't work on women, only emotion. Run away men from women like this.
😂😂😂😂😂
Churcch goers are BEYOND any help,
I had just resigned from the praise and worship team at my church because its lead by narcissists and Its making me struggle with my feelings while serving in ministry. I'm praying God would give me wisdom as to what to do next, because I've grown to dread going to church on Sundays. I understand that I'm only reacting emotionally towards flawed humans like me. God is still good and almighty
Worship leaders lead the spiritual battle for the church. Makes me wonder about all your leadership? Just a thought. Maybe God wants you to move on. If you dread it and have fear…🧐
@@randiloreaux6991 its a small local church. The pastors don't preach heresy or biblically unsound things, but the environment kind of empowers covert narcissists to take control, because the smallness of the church doesn't leave many options for key persons to put in positions of responsibility. It's easy for them to look impressive and compassionate to most people, but if you get up close they are condescending and glory-seeking.
I have treasured relationships with some people who attend there, so it's not a simple decision to just leave, and I don't like to badmouth our leaders to those who are oblivious 😔 ...for now I listen to online-streamed services from other churches during work, and that keeps me grounded in His word for the meantime that I've lost my trust in the leadership of my home church
@@randiloreaux6991 its a small church. The preachings are biblical, but the smallness of the church doesn't give it many options for key people to put in positions of responsibility. Its easy for the covert narcs to appear spiritual, impressive, and to take control. When we got closer, they revealed condescending and glory seeking behavior behind the scenes.
I have treasured relationships with some people who attend there, so It's not an easy thing to just leave, and I won't badmouth the leaders to those who are oblivious. For now I listen to other churches' online services during work and still attend my home church for fellowship's sake
@@randiloreaux6991 I'm sure His answer will come, because I ask for it 🙏
family dysfunction during a child’s developmental years opens the door for the Jezebel (narcissist )spirit to enter that child and wreak havoc on their life. It is a generational curse in my family I’ve come to realize-mother, sister, son and ex-husband. First step is to cast out the Jezebel spirit then deal with the dysfunction-its a long process but with God’s help it is possible to overcome ❤
Clue #1 for me was what I called “pretty prayers”; empty and shallow. No authentic relationship with Jesus.
Manipulative and evil.
The only prayer we did together was over food unless I prayer going on a trip. He alwsys ley me do my prayer snd bible readings by myself while he went on porch to do his as he's smoking 😳😳
Judge not ::
It is a virus of the heart and soul to constantly think you/we know, without a doubt, the inner truth about another person.
@@TruBlu65The Bible teaches "Righteous Judgement," Don't judge some one on something If you are doing the SAME thing, Blessings always ❤️
Rehearsed script prayers (e.g. "Dear Jesus. Thank you for this day. Thank you for your love and grace. Bless this food to our bodies.") The clue is in the redundancy.
What I've noticed with narcissism and gaslighting is the phrases they all use that are so similar if not exactly the same. Signaling to me that there is definitely a spirit behind it.
God bless 😊
Connecting with them is Like trying to water a plastic plant - well said my fren!❤🎉
When you're dealing with Narcissistic co-workers, same rules apply. We are to pray for those who persecute us.....and let HIM take vengeance....because it's HIS anyway. Give it and them to God and go to sleep
@@tammybagwell1741 Thank you. I've been dealing with this for years and I'm slowly trying to detach myself away from him. Part of me feels angry, hurt, sad because I invested so much time, energy, and money just to be treated like crap. I just got to the point where I was tired of being disrespected and demeaned and thankfully my coworkers have been supportive in telling me to leave him alone and I deserve someone who will treat me with respect. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Great advice
I have never met anyone who is not only capable of intimacy or constructive criticism. This is why I stay to my self.
@carlac9026 prayers you do. It can be a sibling, friend or partner. Love is truly the greatest gift from God.
That sounds very lovely. There are people who are more than capable of both.
@@Georgian1717Amen ❤️
This is my stepmother exactly!! She has treated me and my family horribly. Her image is so important. I don't play her games. I've learned how to shut her down. I pray for her, and will let the Lord deal with her.
@44lizza my stepmother is the same
I have one of them
I have one. Im curious how you’ve learned to shut her down. Im currently avoiding my inlaws as much as I can.
"If you're the type to meet their needs, it won't be appreciated; it'll be expected." 😮💨 💔
This part sucks because someone can be INCREDIBLY willing to do everything for their partner, but the second it's demanded that you do any of these things, you lose the will to do anything for them, or yourself. 😢
@@CandiceCane444 nothing more true
@@CandiceCane444 true, and they will say " I expect more from you".
Religious narcs are the worst
Yes. They might be the most dangerous narcissists . They put on a very convincing false image of themselves, and many people believe them.
I've been studying narcissism for about a year to recover from divorce and abusive father and brother, so when I met a nice pretty apartment neighbor, I caught her narcissism in 14 minutes. So I've been practicing on her to set my boundaries etc. She knows how to do the right things for show so makes an okay 1x a week for 2 hour friend (or less) but now that she knows I'm not an easy supply, we're both backing away but it's been good practice for me to learn to set boundaries, I'm much better at being firm about that now...lol.
Not always fair. You can’t diagnose someone in 15 minutes. I’m a mental health professional and won’t do that. I’m concerned that your hurt and pain is on overdrive and you are very self-protective. It’s understandable, but be mindful that your pain is what’s responding to people, its not their genuine traits as you perceive them
WATCHING YOU TEACH THIS , MAKES ME SAD THAT ANYONE DID THIS TO YOU... YOU'RE AN AWESOME PERSON... THANK YOU FOR TRYING TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE.. you are way better than any counselor...
Thank you for all your online literature and wealth of information on ‘narcissistic’ people. Sadly, I was married to one … but the best advice I could personally offer is when you allow God to move you through the healing to a place where you prefer not to use or refer (even in your mind) to him (or her) as a ‘narcissist’, which I feel is all too often today’s overused buzz word. After God softened my heart and got me to a place of truer inner healing He helped me to gain my own sense of power back in refusing to use this word to the point of asking my counsellor if she would kindly not use it. We know the Living Word tells us there is power in our words and speaking into them only gives that person the power over your mind, instead of allowing God to do His work in eventually healing you. Once I personally accepted this, I felt a sense of release to my past and softening of my heart to my future in being able to more fully centre my attention onto His calling for my new life. I pray that others will come to this place in seeing and appreciating the beauty He gives for our offered ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Blessings and love to all.
Yes I agree the word is way overused nowadays.... I believe you were with a so called narcissist, I'm not speaking about your personal experience. But in general I believe many people can have narcissistic traits to some extent, especially people with trauma and who were emotionally neglected when they were young. It's a coping mechanism for them to survive. I've seen people get better when they start dealing with their underlying trauma. I think when we call everyone who seems to be self centered and defensive or manipulative a narcissist, we create more problems because we won't see any possibility for growth or healing for these people. And we also might be unaware we ourselves can be self centered at times too. Or even become similar because of our hurt. I believe that the people that I've been in very toxic relationships with were ultimately unhealed traumatised people, but they were definitely children of God and often unaware of their behaviour. They weren't true narcissist but more dismissive avoidants or anxiously attached. Also addiction can make someone very manipulative. The amount of information I see on dealing with narcissists compared to other types of toxic or traumatised people is very odd to me. I think people would be better helped in their personal situations when they learn how to deal with certain types of toxic behaviours. Because with many people there are certainly ways that you can deal with it and set boundaries. There's also cases where whatever one does, it doesn't help and one has to leave the relationship. But I also see a lot of people break contact with others when they themselves are the ones who can't deal with their emotions and trauma.
@@Lily_and_River … well said. Although I never deserved to be treated in such a way; hurt people hurt people. And although a hard lesson learnt, there was one to be in God taking me through this unchartered emotional territory. We all live in/with sin … not one of us is spared by the enemy. After going through the grief, trust in Him and lean not on our own ways but His wisdom. I can’t say I allowed this before marrying a man with an, unknown at the time, littered past of his own past sexual trauma and abuse. I am not excusing him, God just helped deliver me to a place of understanding and accepting this in healing my broken heart and moving me into my future. Complete forgiveness is an ongoing process; but one I trust my faith will lead me to. So long as He forgives my sins and inadequacies, I know I have to forgive others … even if eventually. Thank you for sharing your insightful words and for your goodness in helping others. ❤
@@deechristensen8188 Thank you for your comments aswell. I'm going through something similar although I still hold hope for my husband. At the beginning of this year I had to seperate from him and go no contact for my own safety and sanity. I've experienced God closer and more intimate than ever before the past years, even when I was still living with him and was really scared aswell. I'm also thankful for the healing process and everything He is showing and learning me. It's hard, painful, necessary, healing and freeing all at the same time. In a way He answered my prayers by getting me out of a very toxic marriage and continuing with the plans He has for me. So I relate to much of what you say here. Back when I married my husband I was a child of God but I didn't let Him truly lead me the way I do the past years. I even think I wouldn't have married him back then when I would've been the person I am now. But I still pray and believe God can make our marriage new again. When He doesn't, I will be alright. I would worry about my husband's well being though. Even though I've given him over in the hands of God, I cannot imagine right now to let go of everything yet. I cannot let go of the promises God has given me, also about him. I like what you said about forgiveness. I'm not ready to forgive yet, because of the things that are still going on at this moment... I'm not at a point where I can leave it behind me yet. But I definitely know I will one day.
@@deechristensen8188 oh and yes the 'hurt people hurt people' phrase has helped me a lot too! Even though we made mistakes ourselves, it doesn't excuse their behaviour. It's been crazy to work through the amount of manipulation and gaslighting and allowing God to show the truth about myself and my marriage. No one deserves to be treated this way by ones husband. A husband should protect and love his wife like Christ protects and loves the church. When there's emotional safety a wife can submit herself to her husband from a place of love. We definitely need Jesus to meet such a standard, we can't do it on our own.
@@deechristensen8188 I'm not sure if you saw my replies... I think RUclips might have removed them 🙄
If you're a narcissist. You're not a Christian.
They don't forgive or really love. They believe in them not others, Believing in Christ changes the heart. Their hearts are dead.
Narcissists are the devils soldiers. They are never from the Lord.
Anybody with a mental disorder can become saved, but it doesn’t mean that their behaviour will change only God knows whether they’re saved or not
It’s all religions. People hide behind it.
Thats not true.
Well said! A real truthful person will never change, he or she is the same everyday!
Narcissists pretty much think that their they're own God's. They are very fake, and you just can't talk to them, it's all about me me me! It's very annoying. We gotta pray for them!
I was a narcissist many years ago, once I found Jesus, he showed me the error of my ways. Jesus is amazing! He has humbled me so much! I can't even thank him enough for how grateful I am to him!
This is the first time I've ever seen your channel and I already love it. You are a very wise lady! God bless you 🙏
Bless you mightily Kris! All you say is spot on and from God and the Word!
I have suffered much too like others here on this platform. Praise God for people like yourself, that bring light and truth. Courage and strength, hope and wisdom. I prayed and fasted and God taught me to never again expect anything good from anyone again! I do have faithful friends that love me for who I am praise God, but I’m talking about the narcissists, not to expect any good thing from them!
I was a co dependent. My husband being a Christian narcissist whose favourite scripture to quote me was a wife is to learn from her husband at home etc etc and be submissive. I thought he
Had an obligation from God to treat me the way the bible says.. well that’s a complete joke to narcissists. It’s there way or the High way ofcourse.
So recently God told me, do not ask or expect anything from him ever again, you’re wasting your time. Well it’s Been decades! God said, only rely on Me to love you, admire you, respect and honour you, support you, provide for you. I’m your vengeance. He has filled me with His peace from head to toe! God has healed all my wounds. He has even had my enemies devour each other! Read 2 chronicles 20.. wow!!😄🙏🏻
Which I had no idea He would do for me, I feel so loved and adored by Jesus!
So I have found my answers spiritually on how to overcome the narcissist!
I’m set free. I will stay set free. I now do not care what people say about me or behind my back. I do not expect anything good from anyone anymore. Only my Heavenly Father whom truly loves me! My real husband is Jesus! I am one of the wise virgins that is filled with the Spirit of God! I will be there at the wedding to marry my Groom!
🙏🏻🥰💪😇
may others suffering be encouraged and finally set free 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Watering a plastic plant. Holy accurate analogy Batman! 😯
My Father died two weeks and two days ago. He was a Christian narcissist. He was always criticizing us (children) behind our backs and to our faces. He was always lying to everyone he met. Many outsiders believed his lies. As we have come to found out even more of his lies since his death. It was very hard spending time with him as he got progressively worst because he would say not to use the word cancer and that God was going to heal him, yet he didn't demonstrate ANY christian values. Even when he cried during prayer I sense fakeness. He never showed us love, empathy, or even show one ounce of care. It was always about him and conquering women and once he married them he made their life Hell. He died in pain with bone cancer. And here I am trying to still make sense if a narcissist father can go to heaven 💔
We, the children all believe and follow our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thankful.
Holy Quran 25:43-44
Yeah … they can go to Heaven. They became narcissistic in childhood and learned to manipulate for survival
The TWO WORST BRANDS of "Narcissism," in my opinion, is "Spiritual/Christian Narcissism" & "Malignant Narcissism (NPD & ASPD Put Together)!"
Absolutely. People put so much trust in them. Like myself. Go in broken and walk out shattered.
Trump comes to mind in both the brands you mentioned.
Yes and The Covert RELIGIOUS NARCISSIST 😢
@@marieslabbert6009 And the dems.
I had the same experience where I kept adding nice things I did for her and it was never enough, she always demanded more. If I didn't bow to her every whim, OR if I voiced a concern, then I was an "abuser" and "not a good Christian husband." But, when she voiced a concern, I would take all the blame and apologize. Only to be told my apologies were "fake" and that I "didn't care." She actually said to me at one point, "I have nothing to apologize for, I don't do anything wrong, I don't know why you're so upset." There's a reason she's an ex-wife even though she constantly used scripture to manipulate me to stay with her. 🙄
I just got out of something like that…begrudgingly if I’m being honest. Taking the blame is rough is t it? I still feel that way. And, more honesty, if she tried to come back I’d let her in. It’s hard to make myself get angry about all the games cause, plot twist, we work together too.
It’s hard to stand up for yourself too. That alone makes me feel weak. It’s bad enough I strive for someone to come into my life that’s good and genuine that I’m blind to the concerns I have with those I let in.
Stay up. We will be alright.
I understand more than you know. My SIL is exactly that way.
@@shaungreenlee724 no. Do not let that snake back into your life. Understand, they will not ever get better. They will only get worse. Block, delete, remove. Give your life a ‘courtesy flush’ if you get my drift.
And be very wary of anyone you choose to let in. The world is full of ultra toxic individuals in 2024.
@@shaungreenlee724 PLEASE don’t EVER let her back in. It will be worse than before! There is a reason why Narc abuse counselors say it’s imperative to go NO CONTACT!
@@kristafloral Thank you. Gladly she closed the door but she does reach out occasionally and it’s hard to not reply. I just replied to something five minutes ago. I just wish I didn’t have this desire to be loved. I fall for anything. I even feel horrible thinking she could be a narcissist.
You are one hundred percent accurate. I have been living with a Christian Narcissist roommate man for over seven years. It has been the worst nightmare of my life, there is no way to reason with them, and the abuse never stops. Thank you for your videos and amazing wisdom. I have no way of getting out of where I am living yet, but expect to leave ASAP. It ffeels like a concentration camp. I believe God will deal with him and I will be victorious. Many thanks.
Remember that a mark of a narc is that they constantly find a way to INSULT you. One way or another they will try to insult you and "take you down a peg" because they convinced themselves (since they believe they are your judge, jury AND executioner) that you somehow DESERVE what they dish out. Keep and eye out for those who INSULT you. Evil ALWAYS insults humanity because evil HATES humanity. If you are a good person evil will try to INSULT you the most because it HATES you the most.
@@alexspectre962 Wow. Truth. Well said.
You cannot be a true narcissist if you are a true Christian. The holy spirit will absolutely convict you of your sins including the sin of pride which is basically what narcissism is!
@@child_of_God316 I think there are Christian’s that are blind by their sin and come across narcissistic
I AGREE TOTALLY. Just like all the christians who are voting for non-christian policies and values and will try to argue their point until blue in the face... but it's absolutely pointless to have any sort of constructive conversation on any and all current events because they are absolutely blinded from truth. How is it that you can claim to have the spirit of truth in you YESHUA (Holy Spirit) as a Christian but cannot see truth at all? Isnt compatable.
@@diana.alexandra then they are not real Christians
@@crystalbrown9858 😂 nice try
Most Humanists hate it when you say Satan has blinded their mind from accepting the gospel. As an X Humanist, I thought I was always in control. Humanists have made an absolute mess of society with their religious doctrines.
Dear Kris, your words rang so true! I'm in the early stages of overcoming the damage done by a Christian Narcissist. On the surface he was so utterly charming. He knew his bible....to twist God's word to his own selfish purposes and to control, namely me. Thank you for opening my eyes to the reality. With time, patience, and God's grace I'm overcoming the damage he did. I'm sitting back and allowing God to deal with the situation His way!
He kept redirecting the conversations back to the Word that wasn't even the subject and learning more about the Bible. Never addressing my personal needs. I finally saw it.
same here. always getting scolded for not having read enough to give in to her view on things... i feel so stupid today...
I can totally relate, my ex would throw me bible verses that are really out of context when we're discussing things. Sigh thanked God tho, I'm free
@@simonschneider5913 don't feel stupid. You are being given a gift of the rest of your life in freedom and able to be peaceful after some healing
@@jackyloudoble808 We are and we can't allow ourselves to forget how that felt. It's very confusing and disturbing to use the Word in that way.
The word is the word of God ,duh
This is literally the best video on narcs I've ever seen. Thank you!. I'm saving this to watch when i need reminders to stay away❤
I am SO THANKFUL FOR YOU & THOSE LIKE YOU-Helpin others.
This is a difficult time in the world !
God bless you !
❤
This is a great description of my ex husband of 29 years! He was also a pastor, no surprise. He is still this way. Only one of our 9 children will see him, and he claims to not understand why. Instead of looking at himself, he sends them letters with scripture.
I'm sorry you're going through this. God bless you and your nine kids! My ex husband does the same.
Divorce without infidelity is a sin...
@@julianderson8708 is derrick your ex-husband, or just another christian arcisist?
@@Onionman-wx8wz lol, just another narc I’m guessing.
@@Onionman-wx8wz - He speaks the truth.
Kris this sounds just like my old marriage. Thank you for your dedication to God.
Divorce without infidelity is a sin, as well as any future marriage.
@@derrickjoe1872 he committed infidelity multiple times.
@@derrickjoe1872 God also does not want His children in abusive marriages, nor does He want little children to be abused.
I had a friend, or so i thought, who was a leader at church. She leads women's Bible study and kids ministry and we talked a lot and she prayed we would have a deep connection but then it changed fast. I felt I was pouring into the relationship and getting breadcrumbs of fellowship and friendship.
To this day I have no closure and she still leads. She's so cold and distant. Please pray as she admitted she is hard hearted, and lacks mercy and compassion. I don't know how she can lead like she does with a hard heart and no compassion or mercy for those she leads. I've forgiven her but please pray God would slowly remove her from ministry so no one else falls for her wolf in sheep's clothing like I did.
@@christinak981 that's american church leadership. Standard fair.
@austin33785 it's so sad and behind the behavior she is a person. I pray for her repentance. I pray for many in leadership as we will all have go give an account
@christinak981 yeah. Jesus Christ has to be the focus of the church. With that central in people's minds this type of behavior is corrected.
Yep exactly what I was going through....and couldn't take it anymore!! I was told I'm being a disobedient wife and being disobedient to God, was told by my husband....you have to obey your husband!! I did everything i was suppose to do as a wife and more and still was told I'm being disobedient 🙄 he never trusted me and i never gave him a reason not to, he was extremely jealous, constantly put blame on me, made me feel like i was the crazy one and yet again still wants me in his life?? Im like are you seriously okay?? No matter how hard you try to figure them out or try to help them its just going to drive you insane!! I walked away...I could not deal with the stress anymore. 😟😞🤦♀️🙄
How did you get divorced? How did you tell him and how did you get him to agree?
I have so much anxiety because of his reaction when he gets pissed off he will be passively aggressive and be childish but I just can't bear to get any emotionally exhausting texts or to be with him in person We have been separated since September.
Currently trying to write a short email to tell him I want to sign divorce papers
@@tracyannaleclair9320 I think you are supposed to get yourself ready first before leaving or giving divorce papers. You have to be physically safe. It can't be like you are asking them. They will not agree. Your safety as you (and if applicable, your children) exit is paramount.
@@ajeff6480 I told him I wanted to separate and I've been separated since September.
We don't live together I got that part straight.
She is very passive aggressive spiteful vengeful and he knows if it's his words that cause me the most upset.
His dog died a month ago and our pets are like our children because I don't have any and his don't have anything to do with him.
My heart broke for him I showed our love support and empathy forum and he just assumed that things are going to go back as if nothing happened.
Fast forward I just need to end this because as long as I'm still married to him I'm going to be playing these mind games with myself and rehashing everything, it's not healthy.
It'll go bad either way whether I do it in person or via email, the benefit to not doing it in person is I can avoid any sort of emotional manipulation.
If I have the money I'd have a lawyer take care of all of it for me but I have to keep him calm and not get him too angry because if I do he'll purposely not sign the papers and make life miserable
@@ajeff6480 This is my punishment/consequence of marrying him despite my second thoughts and doubts.
I thought that since we were both believers and have the holy Spirit, while we would struggle we would persevere.
But this isn't dealing with a regular person there is no having a relationship with them.
I told him I felt like he used me and manipulated me into thinking he was somebody who wasn't so that I would marry him because he was scared and insecure since he was filing bankruptcy and losing everything his retirement from a failed business his house, everything.
Excuse me for his own purpose.
I just want this to be over already
@@ajeff6480painful it's like being hoodwinked into marriage...I pray for ur freedom n peaceful life....
Give me strength Lord Jesus. I’m struggling providing for my children. I will keep faith. I have two beautiful boys both have special needs. I’m overwhelmed because they require so much from me. I’m fearful because every month is a struggle to not end up on the streets with my boys. Lord restore my faith. I’m so tired Lord Jesus of constantly struggling to pay bills and struggling to buy groceries. Ashamed because I’m failing as a mother. Please Lord continue to give me strength.💕
❤❤
God doesnt give more than you can handle. Be encouraged. I hope wherever you are you get the assistance you need to lighten your burden. The Lord strengthen you and keep you. The Lord cause his face to shine upon you and grant you His peace. Father hear the cry of your child.
Here’s a Total FAKE
Plant 🌱, this Subscriber post the exact same comment on many other Christian channels.
It’s called Baiting
🙏🙏🙏
Where is your husband?
Facts!! Oh my such great advice! Run as fast as possible away from an narcissist!!!
My mom has to tell her story of going to heaven at every family get-together. I've heard that story a thousand times. Her narcissism is a family tradition.
I lived this every day with my mother. No, she never told this story, but was the biggest hypocrite walking! She was extremely legalistic and hypocritical and didn't think it was a problem, it was awful. I was her target all my life with her. She's dead and gone and I never she'd a tear at her passing
You blame religion but youre just the same as your mom. You need to repent and know that Jesus Christ is not a religion but a relationship. Pick up your cross daily and read the word because youre prideful and lack love@angelagrant9163
Maybe her heaven story is to motivative you and her family or would you rather her talk about hell? And gnashing of teeth?
@@EmpressofChrist It's bragging, trying to prove her specialness with God to others. The extreme low self esteem of narcissists compels them to build up their false self with the veneer of perfection. Classic grandiose Narcissism.
My mom is the same way
Wow, Wow, Wow! You are remarkable good! You have left me speechless. What you have said in 14 minutes, has taken me years to gather, and research to learn about this horribly destructive personality flaw. Hundreds of videos, articles, etc., and you summed it up, hitting every key area in a few minutes. I hope that everyone has the luck of seeing this video. You are Golden. Bravo to you, and thank you, so very much!
Thanks!
You just described 80% of the world
Actions over words - well done. This was helpful.
This has been a revelation!! It is so incredible how exact all the characteristics of a narcissist describe who I used to have a relationship with...the put down, being talked over, ignored, the disrespect, the complete lack of empathy....it was exhausting...
Thank you for your teachings wish I knew about them before divorce. Would've answered so many questions and not prolonged abuse from covert narcissist. God bless you keep up the great work.
My adopted mother was a narcissist, She abused,and humiliated me everywhere we went. She died 25 years ago and I have no doubt she is burning in hell for eternity for how badly she ruined my life. She drove away every friend or girl friend I ever had and made sure I was miserable 24/7. Then she had the nerve to tell me at 23y that I owed her grand kids....I told her if she hadnt drove away every girl friend I ever had maybe she would have had them by now but she is the last person I would have ever let my kids around. At 50 deep scars remain but everything makes sense now. The only enjoyment I have is being alone, just me and the dog. It's not much but its good enough for me until this life gets overwith.
Pray to God to heal you and restore what was taken from you. Believe that God can send you a loving and godly woman 🙏 God bless you 🕊️🙏
@@MsSunshine-cw3ojamen 🙏🏻
@@jackkonnof4106 im sorry you went through that.
@@jackkonnof4106 love always hopes. I pray you will be hopeful for you future 🩷
God bless you . Sometimes people are so broken and toxic they have nothing to give , please never let that run your life . God says in Isaiah 61:1 he came to bind up the broken heart and set the captive free ! Believe, have faith that God had a bigger plan for your life . Don’t keep yourself in prison . Praying many blessings over you . Amen
So spot on. Remarkable how they all fit a certain template. It took me a long time to get the idea of boundaries after getting eaten alive. Hurt upon hurt, now to dig out.
So true:
A relationship with a narcissist is like having an empty electrical outlet. The covers there, but nothings in it.
Made me giggle in that my ex husband is a narcissist AND and electrician. This fits almost too perfectly in my case.
@@AmandaMoore-t4y Haahaa…… it’s probably a vision now you’ll never get out of your head. God bless you and Thank you for your comment here. So sorry you’re going through all these things. Just know that you are not crazy to the people who post here because we totally can relate.
A narcissist is not a christian.
It is a demon and not the Holy Spirit.
Not any doubt.
yea, start rebuking those demons, that stirs them up.
Yes, and today that demon is quite busy and prolific.
Exactly, my former friend turned out to be a real religious spirit, not a trace of the Holy Spirit in her after her mother turned her into her clone. Whatever Godliness she once had about her is no longer there. So many religious spirits think being a pharisee makes them filled with the Holy Spirit.
@@FamilyHistoriandude It needs this dicernment to get that revelation. And if H
God trusts us with that knowledge that comes out of a pure heart we can be assured we know a lot about how satan works.
@@FamilyHistoriandude Spot on. Many have the word of the Lord without the Lord of the word. Rough paraphrase from the great Christian film "Time Changer". Free on RUclips. Movie Night. ;)
Thank you. For your help in spotting my narcistic tendencies. Consistency is a brother to Trust.
Thank you, these are all things I have seen in family members. I live in a culture in which arguing and fighting is normal and expected. I stay away from them as much as possible. We cannot reach those who are in rebellion against God.
Wow… God brought me here. I’m going through this with my mother-in-law.. this video has brought me a lot of peace when the devil has been trying to get me to think I’m crazy. Glory to God!
@@ashanithesharp same me too. I thought I was wrong but I distanced myself from her.
@@ashanithesharp I hope your spouse is supporting you ,mines quit after they threaten disinheritance and no contact,Im rid of them both , looking back now ,what was I fighting to keep?
So a narcissist is every person with issues. They're devoid of emotion, controllers. I thought narcissists were just one thing. This is eye opening. Thank you so much for the definitions.
Im in a friendships that I am finding difficult. This person called me her best friend very early in the relationship. Now that the relationship causes me a lot of anxiety and questioning, I feel like being called a best friend was and is being used as a tool to manipulate me.
Mine had me walking on egg shells in my own house. I never knew people like Christian coverts existed, I must of been very fortunate in life I never had to deal with a demonic person before. My love from 46 years ago came back into my life in Aug of 22 I had to ask her to leave my house, I felt bad but she was killing me literally.
Sounds like they are "love bombing" you. It is a tool used to control/manipulate others.
That sounds really bad. I hope you find the power to escape from this person.
I have experienced this. There are people who can feel this way.
Thank you for the video 💜I had to laugh out loud when you said that they say "God will bless me, not you". I litterally had a narcissistic woman in my church tell me: "God showed me that something's about to happen to me and you will be disappointed. Let's just keep it between us" A few years later she accused me of being a witch and I'm not the first one she has done that to 😳 You best believe I stay faaaar away from her
What in the world?! She’s crazy.
@@BlondPastelQueen my father's second wife told me God listens to her.
@@HeatherG-qg5px Yikes! 😮
Thank God we're not living in the 1100s - she would have been really dangerous, tossing around witch accusations against people she doesnt like.
(then again, maybe narcissists would do that back then?)
Well done, Dr. Kris. You answered a lot of what I knew and because of it I made the correct decisions in my life and businesses.
Christian and Narcissist don’t go together!
Joy = "J"esus, "O"thers, then lastly "Y"ourself. So is the Christian life. Love gives lust takes. God Bless.
@JL-es3gc exactly. I think those people are the "pigs" proverbs is referring to in the observation "...& a pig is washed only to go back to wallowing in the mud". washing a pig is a big job! & useless, because a pig's nature (being unable to sweat) requires it to go in the mud to cool off. so in the Bible, pigs represent people who are unclean inside & unable or unwilling (does it matter?) to be permanently cleansed & take on a new life. I agree --- sadly --- they're not seeking to be transformed, merely made acceptable. sad.
Jesus calls them sheep and goats...Matt 25... the sheep have been dying off in the churches and many only have goats left.
TRue , but thats what you will find at churches/synagogues
That's why I clicked on the video. This doesn't sound right at all.
Wow, First time I've ever been on this channel and I have to say everything you said resonates with truth! Often the hardest thing we can do is to love the narcissist Without becoming a victim. The last few years of my mother's life, I would have to stop her and say I can't participate in this relationship when you act this way, But I still love you.
Absolutely !! I’m seeing so much now that I’ve walked away from it. I felt so used & abused. I definitely was !! I pray to God I never allow this to happen to me again !!
Lots of charity workers, social workers etc. are like that. They don't want to 'help' you, they just want to look good..
I'm perplexed , by the bibles declaration , that we would be exposed to NARCISSISTS , LOVERS OF THEMSELVES . AND YET , THIS PHENOMENA IS IN OUR CHURCHES AND FAMILIES AND YET THERE IS NO PROGRAM OR ALERTNESS , OR HONESTY , IN HOW A CONGREGATION CAN DEAL WITH THIS.
I know that nice gal , you describe , and yes , he's burning out . GOD HELP HIM , ❤
Yes!!!! Exactly 💯 I told the truth about a wolf in sheep's clothing in my very first church and they didn't believe me!!! She was demon possessed and running rings around them while abusing me and the demons would only manifest with me but they thought I was crazy unfortunately and believed her, she was laughing at them. She died and I don't know if she was saved in the end but if not, they enabled a soul to go to hell. No one I think will believe me in the church either now about my husband who has tried to push me into suicide. It's been a horrendous 14 years of serious covert abuse. The church haven't got a clue the level of this. I think the Lord might be bringing me into a ministry of exposing wolves - I told him six years ago no way, I'm not the person for the job lol but I think I am. I can see them. When I got saved, demons manifested in children where I was teaching, all over the place. But my husband has been the most difficult. Because they're so hidden. It's sneaky and slow, drip, drip, drip.... devastating. Only by God's Grace and mercy for me as a blood bought daughter of the King am I alive to tell the tale. I'm leaving him finally in about two weeks. I was shown the truth and of course, it has set me free. Amen ❤️🙏
I'll go a step further, "preachers" preach to love yourself first.
Most churches are not equipped to deal with this. The pastors and elders who have never dealt with narcissism before have no clue on how to spot this. When I brought the issues I was going through in my marriage to an elder during counseling. He told me that I should just “love” my wife more in spite of the emotional abuse, rage and other manipulation tactics and devious things she was doing behind my back.
@@imperfectillustration6261 I hear ya. "They are not our friends but rather our worst enemies who sooth people in their sins." Sin and Repentance ignored and we see the results "feel good" deluded secular humanists with Bible verses mixed in. God Bless your future. 🙏
It is a family generational routine. I got sick of the abuse, use,and lies and manipulation. I had to cut off all contact to have my peace.
After they went to church for decades, both my relative narcs are getting worse by the day. I told them, when you go to church listening to the Good news, it is like listening to Diet Doctor on how to slim down(or enter heaven), you have to literally go on diet/exercise and 'walk' what you had learned in church. You can't just listen to priest every Sunday but after church you are doing your nasty/vicious stuff again. you will forever not going to 'slim down'.