@@Kris_Reece this would be great if i didnt have to download something. I am doing alright. The whole situation made me take a good long look at myself and my weaknesses. I was raised by a narcissist, so the lies they try to tie on you dont really work on me. I had to realize my family was wrong about me before i was seventeen. It helped me choose who i want to be and what i want to portray. I am also the Servant/scapegoat in the family.The last ten years withy current narcissist made me take a good long look at myself and the biggest thing was learning not to react. I wish i coulda learned that from my younger experiences. Alas, that was impossible because i wasnt allowed to have a reaction. Whew! What a life.
Thank you for the video. You look like a young girl, that energy like a girl in the 20s. Radiant, expressive and young. Congratulations. Have a nice day!
@@Kris_Reece Thank you so much for your informative and helpful guide. I wish I had this a long time ago, could have avoided pitfalls, anyhow learnt a lot from the journey about satan’s tactics., and more importantly about all that we have in Jesus. It is good that God knows and is more than aware. 2 Chr 20. Thank you so much. I wish I could get a copy to my daughter. ❤️
Telling a narc that they're a narc isn't purely a corrective effort. It is self defense because once the narc knows you know what they are....they escalate. That's a good thing, if you're ready (you'll never be ready, so get ready and get after it). The concept is "lean into the fall", accelerate. The worst place you can be with a narc is idle, you want things escalating so you can break free. And in order for that to happen, all hell must let loose. Imagine a narc is the Crown and you are the colonies in 1776. You write the declaration of independence and let the truth run free. Oh, it's going to be a fight, but it'll be worth it. Call em out, your liberty is worth it.
@@mpclepto182 or u can cut to the short and just go no contact. I believe this makes them lose their cra*. Their worst fear. But well written and definitly agree none the less my friend. Blessings.
@JessicaLivingOnPurpose that not entirely accurate. They care if you are sharing something they can use against you. Need to remember that the more sensitive the information the more they will use it against you.
Ohhhh yes yes, they care very much to fck you up even more. And to use sensitive information you provide against you, and trust me they dare to use it in the worst possible moment for you to spear your heart
@@beanames9690Got that right. The narcissistic gang in my HOA use illegal cameras and illegal audio surveillance monitoring everything you say and everyone you talk to in the search for any morsel of info they can use against you. These people are truly evil. Making money off of folks losing their homes is their goal, and if they can make life really hard for someone they are toxically envious of, the better.
@JessicaLivingOnPurpose God doesn't care because it's a narcissist . It cheats and steals and lies and murders children. Why would I follow anyone like that?
We have zero power to TURN anyone over to God or anything else. God does not need humans for anything at all. We act like we carry some power to do things.
@@curious011 Read the Word. It absolutely does say that. God’s ways are higher than our ways. He will not deal with them like humans will. Just because you “turned them over to God” doesn’t mean the same as “I’m telling daddy on you” and dad comes and whips them with a belt. That’s not how it works at all.
@@RachelPenningtonHull God must not be the all powerful deity He is in the Old Testament then. He did as he pleased whenever He felt like it and asked for no one's opinion and needed no permission. We have turned God into an impotent santa clause who only can do what we pray for Him to do.
@@MichelleL20942 , I guess I have file divorce from my husband. He loves to initiate conversations with strangers female if he is alone, and he believes in going out for lunch and dinner with other women. He does believe that he is doing wrong!
@Kris_Reece2 Dear Kris. Thank you. You are such a good teacher. I learn so much from you, I do not even have questions. I learned exactly how my narcissistic wife ticks and also my narcissistic room mate, and even how to navigate their behavior. Thank you so much for your instrumental precise and often visual explanation 👍💜
Well put. I wrote out what you said as rules for myself. I can’t get away from the narcissists in my life yet so I have to remember this daily. It’s a fight bc it’s the opposite of my nature, which is curiosity, compassion, believe the best about people. But I’m realizing more and more the best way I can love these people is not enabling their dysfunction.
@@RhymeandRamblings Congratulation. The most difficult part is, that you have to react opposite to your nature. So do not give up if you cannot do it every time, it is hard learning. Especially having no emotion and do not argue, was difficult forme in the beginning. Good lock 👍😋
Or “I apologize…for whatever it is you think I did” The ole blanket apology to cover past present and future events. You know jsut in case. An apology without true change is more manipulation
The other famous reply from narcs is: I hear what you're saying, but... but but but! They always have something better to say, they always know better, they always have more experience, everything has to be better than you, somehow.
I would get what appeared to be a real apology with accountability. But the same behavior would be repeated over and over again with no remorse. I eventually learned that the apologies were a lie and pure manipulation.
Wow it’s like you know my husband. Exact lines he says when i express how his actions have affected me. I used to think narcissism is just a bs. But watching so many people say similar things and experience i am convinced it’s a genuine issue. I also think narcissists number is shown low because narcs don’t go to therapy there victims end up in one.
Narcissists are completly detached from reality. Even if you call them out, they still can't see what they are doing. To them there's only one reality, and that's where they are right and you are wrong. No inbetween.
100%. This was perfect timing, I litteraly left him swimming in the pool 5 minutes ago to pack more things while he's occupied.. . 33 years and I've just started packing sneakily.. Today I realized how really bat poop crazy he is.. 6 jobs in 7 months. He tells me at 59, an obese alcoholic he's applying for police assistant detective.... When he's been in automotive 30 years.. He was a cop for about 5 minutes 35 years ago. He's completely nuts... He's spent all our money because in between jobs he takes weeks off. It's not even just that. It's the lies and manipulating.. And I feel like the bad person for plotting my exit when he's so needy.. "I'm his only friend the only person who cares.." PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. I'M 1,500 MILES AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND HES MADE SURE I HAVE NO FRIENDS.. I NEED TO GET OUT!!!!!!!
@@antheredhen I have a friend in a similar situation. Praying for you both. Trust God and know He hasn't forgotten you. Jesus will set you free. Ask Holy Spirit will pray for you by surrendering to God with all your heart, mind and soul in His love for you in Christ Jesus. He will make a way when there is no way. Don't give up and don't give in either.Every time you pray...pray in the name of Jesus. Fear not! God is with you. ✝️🙏🙌
@antheredhen BE CAREFUL.The narcissist always ISOLATES you to put you in a compromised position. You have NO LIFELINE. Their is narcissistic RAGE which could put you 6 foot under. FLEE!!! Don't look back. You have your Life. You can replace "things". Been there. Dine that. Gods speed. 🙏 🙏 🙏
Wow, that is good advice. Another narc found me and I saw the red flags in time. Now I need to close that door asap, but I will do it quietly without calling him out.
Your analogy from 5:07 to 5:16 immediately made me think of Christ's words in Matthew 7:6: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."
@@Cosmogonal_Hierogamy True story here. A couple I know and used to be friends with began giving me grief about my political posts on Facebook. It started off very subtle and passive-aggressive, but it eventually became serious harassment and attempted gaslighting (i.e., "Your urgency on these matters concerns us"). It got to the point that I rebuked them, but they only doubled down on the gaslighting. So I blocked them. The next day I had some angry text messages from their teenage son! 😲 A few years later, I unblocked them because I was still friends with a lot of mutuals, and I hoped that they had finally moved on. I did not reach out to them, however, and I tried to avoid discussions on mutual friends' pages where they were involved in the threads. Then, on my page, I replied to a different friend's question about how political developments had impacted friendships. I shared briefly the story that I just relayed here. I did NOT name the couple or say anything that would identify them, aside from the actual events themselves. The husband commented on my post angrily saying that what I said was nothing like what happened. I replied, asking then why did he think it was about them? And I said, "When you toss a rock over a high fence into a yard full of sleeping dogs, the dog that barks loudest is the one that got hit by the rock. He's now telling mutual friends that I called him and his wife dogs. 🫨
It's hard that they can effect others that matter to you though...that's the part I wish I could change really. These other people are so ingrained in the lies and we have been busy with caretaking so haven't been around. The Narc took advantage of that to twist reality....and unfortunately they also have always kept their kids from knowing us, aunty and uncle .....I think because our parenting is very active. Even as an aunt and uncle we like to ask them how they are etc (like people....) and she doesn't.... looking back at realized she would shallowly ask our kids then not really care unless they were little and cute and she could boast to others that she's so amazing....it's always been about her. Hard to recognize that for our kid's sake. We don't have a big family so she's definitely done a lot of damage.
I thought the same way as a child in the 1980’s. I couldn’t help it, I was 5 or 6 when I started trying to tell my father about my narcissistic mother’s behavior patterns. Then she started accusing me of trying to break up “her” marriage. *These were my biological parents!* Then my father knuckled under to her pressure and the venom she spewed about me nightly behind closed doors and started beating me at her whim, along with throwing me into furniture, etc. My mother threatened to beat me for getting less than an A on a spelling test when we were alone at home one day. The teacher I tried to go to for help told them immediately. My parents yelled at me calling me a liar for 4 to 6 hours at the kitchen table (after school) daily for 4 days, 7 hours on Saturday and 3 on Sunday. Two adults ganging up on an underweight, undiagnosed ADHD 7 year old child, born with undiagnosed Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic disorder. That’s when I understood that there was zero help for me from other people. These are just two scenarios I lived through. I gained an ally at age 8 when I accepted Christ. Prayed, cried and bided my time. Talk about a lesson in patience! Gave them 19.5 years of chances under their roof. Even worked for them while in college. Got married to a good man who actually practices Biblical love right before turning 20. Finally fully went no contact at age 24, I think. Silence and the word “No” are my keys to peace. I am who God made me. No one can make me hate myself for that anymore. Still married to the same man for 28 years. I am grateful to God for every peaceful day. Still healing, but God kept me from breaking and taking on the generational curse. I sincerely pray for their hearts to change. God’s will be done. Edit: Added “(after school)”
Bless you Staci. You are stronger than you know. It is sad that no one you reached out knew how to help properly. Being a child, our parent(s) seem giant and we are powerless to fight back. For me, it was keeping the peace instead of seeking outside help. That and protecting my brother's, who BTW turned into the same thing. I am glad you married a good man. It sounds like God brought him into your life. As for me, I married a narcissist too, covert type so I didn't realize it, I thought anything short of yelling, screaming, hitting, name calling etc was better. There was no info or easy internet access to learn what these ppl were. I prayed a lot and was guided. I ended my marriage and kept my family at arm's length. Ended up with the kindest man. Opposite in every way. I know he was God sent, like your husband. God hears us, he works to find us protection. Live in peace and light and love. ❤
Same exact story, weird. But I choose to take responsibility myself instead of counting on the god they used to justify their abuse for anything, since they spent all that time telling me I was such a sinner and god could never love me because I was an incorrigible sinner. I figured I'd just take them at their word, and I'm so so much happier and healthier without all of them
@Faesharlyn I'm so sorry you went through that; the thing is, that's what the demons inside your parents wanted, to make you believe a horrible lie, that God will never love you (when it'sthe exact opposite), to keep you away from knowing his true love, to keep you on a different path and make you believe that what you're getting is the best that you can have in life. My friend you've been lied to, and and you still haven't yet to realize how much, but there's still time, because you're alive. Hope you find the truth 🙌
I didn’t know about covert narcissism. I prayed for years for my marriage. I finally was made to understand that the answer was no. I have a wonderful family now. Big revelation, He always answers. Sometimes the answer is no.
@@VickyRenyard well, my then husband ‘s‘ behavior became so abhorrent that it was clear. He left the faith (or at least stopped claiming he had it) and stopped even trying to act like a married man. The Bible gives allowances for that. Once while I was sobbing and crying out in prayer, I said that we aren’t given more than we can handle. The Holy Spirit came and gave me peace, but my husband wasn’t changing for the better. I understood the comforter had come. I went to a substance abuse counselor to understand how I should respond to the situation. I learned how to behave correctly under the circumstances, not the substance but the narcissistic behavior. I set boundaries with consequences, he left shortly after. His life went further into destruction after that. Mine went in the right direction. He stayed in contact with the church long enough to turn people against me, including some family. I didn’t try to change their minds. Just moved on. I prayed for many years and realized that the Bible gave us choices under circumstances. My husband was choosing to be hateful and unloving. God hates divorce, He also hates his loved ones being abused. I hope you get relief.
@@Daysleeper1000 I did. He was unwilling to make any effort to be a decent husband and I let him go. It was heartbreaking for a time, then the peace set in.
I feel the same way and I still can't understand how parents could be jealous of their own child. I always am and still do want better for my children. I would be thrilled for them to be better in all ways of their life than me. And they have been. I guess I am thrilled 😊✝️👑💖
How to deal with a narcissist biblically - 1. Break the bond, of codependency - defining your value and self-worth based on their opinion of you 2. Resist the urge - to correct or educate them, or tell them off - give them no answer 3. Give it to God - He is at work
@@emilykaranja9879 This side of heaven life is verrrry hard, but God promises His strength to those who belong to Him. I'm not minimizing your difficulties, but wanting to encourage you to believe what God says and to NOT believe the lies of Satan.
Once the Narcissist knows that you know who she is... All hell will break loose, put you shield on because the flaming darts will be directing your way.
Had a similar experience with a supervisor. Cut off all necessary contact, didn't fight back and prayed and declared Psalm 2 and Psalm 9 over the situation. They resigned after four months. Praise God.
Who is the 'they' that resigned? Was it more than one supervisor? Otherwise he or she resigned. Don't fall for the trap of the woke gender-nonsense, using a plural form of a verb for just 1 person. Other than that: great story of deliverance. Praise God indeed.
@@gardenjoy5223 It's not woke gender nonsense, I'm in my 60s and that's traditional when you speak of a non specified sex. Such as, "if anyone buys a new car, they should always research which company has the best history for manufacturing that type of car". It's not about turning women into men, or vise versa. Not new.
@@lizh1988 Well, it was forbidden in my school in the strictest way to write like that. They was never ever for a singular person. And yes, it IS woke nonsense. People are confused, led by sexual arousal, changing here and there depending on their hormone level. People have lost their moral compass and do 'whatever' they feel. Silly. And the transgenderism? Every cell in that person's body, both a bit older and just being made, is screaming the actual gender one was born with, no matter how much hormones you give them or how your butcher them up. There is therapy for such people, but they prefer the wider attention, they get nowadays, I guess.
Did God help you? It’s really extremely hard starting afresh completely unknown with no support whatsoever. Especially when you’ve got a lot of severe issues due to the severe narcissistic abuse you had to endure for years… (my case extreme family scapegoating 😢😣)
100% true!! The best way to deal with a Narcissist is to disengage and pray for divine intervention. They are uniquely unable to recognize, much less attempt to “pull the plank” from their own eye. No use to defend your own actions/intentions, or call out their behavior. Narcissists are the heroes of their own lives, and a victim of someone else’s when something negative happens.
I exposed my ex narc with receipts….the Lord lead me right to the information…and he ran like a little school girl crying all the way home…..he bit off more than he could chew with me…….never heard from him again and it’s been 8 yrs…. Praise the Lord…..
@@polskigirl8547 this is interesting bc the lord led me right to the info as well. My problem is I want to tell her that I know what she did but was told I shouldn’t say anything & just cut all ties. But I want her to know what she did!
@@chantal8882 We know after that hoovering that there is no way in earth they will ever truly do good, and that we have no obligation to help them. A lesson well learned, and often nothing worth learning is easy. We only get healing in steps, and sometimes it's just enough to get by Far better than following in the narc's footsteps and being ambushed yet again.
@WillowHopeBartlett amen. I'm facing a legal process accused by my wife... The pinnacle of the backfires. I just trust God Jesus Christ is in control, I did learn to not tried to there to "help" with the process of other individuals, just the God's Spirit is the one that can saved us. We should just praise him for saving us, share the good news and let God do his will and praying in our side for them. Also I've learnt that much more bible reading, listening and praying is needed, more today than any other time in human history. We're in the last days,Jesus told us THESE things will happen and they're happening often and stronger. And when this things begins, raise your head up to Him, our redemption is near. God bless you. Be saved, that's our main life priority.
This happened to me (husband and I) recently. After many years of SIL bad behavior, she was finally called out firmly. Sorry, but it felt good. Now it’s all out in the open. No more biting my tongue. She used all the tactics and threw it back at us. We walked away. No more chances. We live way across the country now but will have to see each other in the future. Best to walk away from it and not engage. Is she gossiping about us to the rest of the family? Probably. No matter.
I know my husband doesn't care and won't take accountability, but after years of being afraid I made the choice to speak out his harm. Not because he was going to listen, care and change, but because I needed to speak. This was a part of my journey of learning how to be brave like a Lion. I spoke knowing that my injustifice was in God's hands. I spoke knowing God was listening. I spoke knowing that I needed to speak. My husband doesn't care about anyone, but himself, so all he did was respond with lies and victim statements. I knew he would do this and therefore his response didn't surprise or impact me. I didn't need justice from him, I already have it from God. God is a God who loves justice, so I can trust him. I may not see God's justice yet, but I know God has seen the harm I have endured. I choose to forgive and let go to God and no longer carry this burden as my own. I no longer feel powerless like I did, because I serve a powerful God and he is carrying this (he's got this).
I just learned to stop talking or returning a baiting question with a heartfelt answer. I have learned to literally save my breath. They do not care. They dont want to fix it. Youre telling my story!!
"How do you fight a monster without becoming one?" I see it, finally: you don't fight the monster, you leave them alone on that arena. Did I get it right?!
Yep, however it sure does Hurt daily inside your body and inside your mind if YOU STAY.. better to leave … get out…. You will get Cancer if you stay… your mind will be lost
But what do you do when the narcissist is your mother and she is dependent on you and no one else is willing to assist her with managing her healthcare, household, and personal estate matters. When we go to appts and errands, she never ceases to bomb humiliate and embarrass me in public. She will say something truly outrageous that even though I try to go emotionally and mentally prepared there's no way anyone can predict what she will say whether lies, accusations, criticism or judgments she will come out with something that is outright exaggerated and lies in an attempt to belittle me in public. I have my own home, thank goodness, but I tend to her because I believe it's my moral obligation. But she is cruel and abusive. No one else will. I feel alone with no support system whatsoever. It's sad and difficult.
@@PA677-trinity3 then she has lost the ‘right’ to expect you to help her… because her behaviour is hideous and hurtful and you should Remind her if you leave she has no one - remember you aren’t a child anymore - she is scrrwed without your help, so you need to tell her that she either plays nice or she will be on her own. And that is the co sequences for her cruelty to you. That’s not being mean, that’s consequences for negative harmful actions against you. And if she abuses you again after that (she will, to test it) you simply leave. Call her a cab home If you wish, (& she doesn’t have the money for one) but she loses you. Also tell your Dr what is going on, as you are at high risk of being accused of elder abuse from what she is saying. It’s disgusting behaviour and if she wants you to behave like the loyal child, she needs to start acting like a real mother. Not an abuser. Protect yourself, and set very very firm boundaries and rules for engagement. Otherwise she will destroy you (which is a narcissists favourite game).
It is a sin problem. The only way out is to renew your mind, study His word and reckon it to be true in your mind. This is the only way God works in our lives today. All through His word!
Thank you! I needed to hear this. After my second attempt I finally have left my Narcissistic husband of 20 years that murdered his 1st wife. He love bombed me at first and was inconsitant about how she died and told me the truth after I fell in love with him! I really need prayer from everyone and keep telling God that I give it to him, just to realize that I still have not! Thank you.
All true. Don't challenge the professional manipulator, they've been at it way longer than you. Calling them out is like inviting them to their favorite party.
@@carlausoff6407 God told you? and there's a demon that only you can see? Why is it we use God to justify whatever the heck we need God to say or do. It's all US. It's always been humans using the word God to justify our actions because we can't face how bad humanity can get.
@@carlausoff6407 this is exactly it! Whenever these bad circumstances happen, I felt it was demonic and never had considered that before. But the narc has been involved in the occult. We had to go in the opposite direction. We all choose our path. My husband and I said our peace and now we all know where we all stand.
Thank you so much for honoring God with your gifts and knowledge. It’s so painful realizing I’ve wasted 37 years trying to keep my narcissist mother happy. Nothing ever works.
"Evidence by the fact that you're here right now" - Wow, this really blew my mind. God is really watching over us all the time, and faith really is the ultimate healer.Thank you, thank you.
You can’t reason with an unreasonable person. AKA a complete full. Unfortunately the only thing that was able to deal with my ex was the restraining order. The police handed her a brutal but a real reality check. That’s the only thing that ever did work but then it’s too late. After 35 years she divorced me when she realized she could no longer control me. Praise God I am free.
Thank You So much for this video!! It STOPPED me from just CUSSING OUT A person in control of others wellbeing!! I know god can bring them down way better than l ever could!!🙌🏽
Whatever makes them look like a hero and the victim, oh wow, this is so accurate. Listening. Made that mistake myself. Daughter of a narcissistic mother here who turned my brothers against me too. I wonder if this grieving, inadequate guilt, anxiety, anger and depression cycle ever ends 😔 I should hope so! ❤️🩹😮💨🙏♥️♥️♥️
Already done in the spirit of love….Leaving the outcome in God’s care. I can’t make someone respect me BUT I refuse to be disrespected. Healthy boundaries are key(for me). These estranged adult children have no idea what God is capable of. If someone refuses to meet with a mediator, pastoral team, or a Christian counselor… asked why would anyone NOT want to improve on communication/relationship? That mystery lies in the mind set of the unhealthy person…. In meantime if they don’t appreciate your presence, PLEASE, give them the gift of your absence (that I can do, have done)… Peace is on my side 🕊️. I’m not a peace keeper, I’m a peace maker, there’s a big difference.
I just found your channel, and all I can really say is “thank you Lord”! You have been such a lifeline and series of lightbulb 💡 moments. 25 years into a marriage with a narcissist has made me mentally unstable. The only way out that I could see was suicide. I had all about given up on my faith as well. I know the narcissist will not change, but I now have footing in my faith and mental health once again. Thank you!
Amen to this! I finally called out my narcissistic husband, rebuking several specific behaviours after enduring a marriage of gaslighting and blame. He immediately abandoned me, and stonewalled me. It’s been six months. I’m in shock. Did not expect that. Just days before the rebuke he was texting how much he loved me. Kris is spot on. They just can’t take the feedback.
Correct a wise man, and he will love you for it. Correct a fool and he will hate you. That's from the Bible, sound advice. I'm sure it says to avoid the fool, but I know it says to avoid the angry man lest you become angry also.
This was the video I needed in order to cease communication with my narcissistic family. It couldn't possibly come at a better time in my life. THANK YOU!
Im sorry God, praying 33 yrs. Im still waiting on your reply for my daughter, im letting it go now. Giving it All to you. Not just part. Amen. I trust you will turn it for good. ✝️
Yep. I have been fighting over the validation of lies and the horrible allegations my son spews about us to everyone. I had to figure out that breaking the codependency is NOT breaking the love I still have and will always have for my son. It took me a long time to truely give it to God and just stop wrapping my everything around my son and his lies. The minute I gave to the Lord though, peace. True peace.
Oh my goodness! I was given the same message yesterday by the Lord Jesus through my younger son as he was shown the discouragement I was going through. He told me the truth that took a huge load off my shoulders! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ ✝️👑💖
Oh my goodness thank you so much for this video. As much as I felt uncomfortable I still chose to confront and expose my narcissistic sister toxic patterns. Passive aggressive, covert grandiose victim. It turned out in rage towards me. Learning from my mistakes humbling myself and going gray rock. Thank you Jesus!
why is everything we don't understand a demon? We invoke demons to deflect how bad a human can really be. It is a coping mechanism we use to make a bad situation into something spiritual.
I love your videos and I love that you have the Christian aspect of it. I’ve watched so many videos but because of the Godly view you give, you stand out from all the others. Thank you for what you do.
So blessed to finally have someone who offers a Biblical perspective on Narcissism (insolent pride). Thank you Kris. We wrestle not against flesh and blood folks. There is a spiritual and sinful war going on. Break the bond with them. Today! Pray and give them to God and focus on following Jesus. Live your best and blessed life. No trust self centered people with your heart.
That’s the message I needed to hear …. Thank you …. I have to be better at no response at all and just listen and peacefully put a end to the conversation
It would have been nice to come across your channel and know this about narcissists years ago. It would have saved me from A LOT of emotional and spiritual turmoil in being abused by them and trying to get over it. Thank you for bringing solid theological truth about this issue and helping people to make wise decisions.
Thank you chris, you've opened my eyes to so many things that i was putting on myself & the fact that you bring in our Lord to seek Him using scriptures, all we want is to have the narcists healed, free from the control of the enemy especially if its your child
Thank you Clarice! I just pray a lot and I rely on Gods word. More now than ever. I survive from day to day from my narcissistic husband. Being married to a so called Christian narcissist is the absolute worst situation. I’ve come to point of feeling sorry for the human that bad spirit hijacked. I wonder if he will ever see truth and begin to live truth. I’m still praying daily. Prayers to those who have suffered the narcissist control and to those who are in close living situations ♥️
Hi Ms. Reece. Enjoyed this and wanted to hop on and thank you for the wisdom, input and guidance you gave me a couple of years ago. I put into practice a couple of difficult decisions and they have worked. Toxic narcissism in family members can be very painful, but I want to tell your viewers that there is hope. Listen to what the Holy Spirit tells you and obey it !! The solution for problems most often begins with becoming aware and knowledgeable of what is involved in the situation. Kris helped me greatly in this matter. Many thanks woman of God.
Brothers and sisters, trust God when you pray it works. He said all we need to do is ask in prayers. My testimony spans from penury to $127,000 bimonthly, and you stay and doubt that he doesn't answer prayers. Make that altar now and spend time there. A change is in the way. Amen!!!
Yes, prayer and giving them over to christ to change, and care for each day is a big help. Sometimes I get tripped up but quickly grow quiet and pray for them.
I was about to call out the narcissist again, and continue the vicious cycle. However, I decided to watch your videos instead. I feel relieved and so glad I deleted his email and blocked his number. You are so spot on with this video of the truth about the narcissist. Thank you for sparing me more pain and abuse!
Proverbs 9:8...Do not reprove a ridiculer, that he may not hate you. Give a reproof to a wise person and he will love you. Proverbs 23:9...Into the ears of a stupid one do not speak, for he will despise your discreet words.
I just turned 50 and my 76 year old mother hasn’t taken a breath attacking me my entire life and I am most definitely one blunt bold woman who speaks her my mind and has called her out since as long as I can remember. She has lied to try and get my son taken away (I’m a single parent), she has had my son over the holidays for many many years trying to poison him against me and brainwash him with lies (which he only just told me about now he’s a teenager) . Oh my, you just can’t believe what this woman has done and the trouble she has made for us. Her husband and son are her puppets who she has turned against me. This woman is one sick being and walks around like butter doesn’t melt in her mouth. I reckon’ her heart would stop beating if she ever had to apologise to someone. Unfortunately , I am stuck living in one of her houses and I don’t know how to get out with my son and the little dog I bought for him. I have a lease and pay rent and you’d think the way she breaks tenancy laws that I am living here for free. Evicted me when I asked her to remove her belongings from all over the house after she put the rent up. Stupid me, freaked out and paid the rent increase with all her items still here. Rent just went up again and I ain’t paying it until she removes her belongings so I can utilise the space and I can feel the next eviction coming again. so she should be paying. If anyone’s reads this comment, please pray for me and my son because this woman is hell bent on taking me down any which way she can simply because I’m confident, happy and have always stood up to her and she calls me a mental case?!?! I’ve never seen such a delusional human being in all my life and someone so hateful towards their own child. This popped up on my screen at the perfect time !! I’m joining this channel. Thank you and God bless all who stop here. ✝️💕
Same boat. They hate your happiness, joy, that others like you, your confidence. When u can cut off contact. I use to feel guilty about it cause she would call my brother, aunt, and others and play the victim. I have sent emails explaining to those family members all i have put with and told them i would like to continue a relationship with them and that was sorry about all of it but my health was suffering from all of her actions.i do have a relationship with them. They told her they are staying out of it. One reason this worked is that i prayed for God to open their eyes to the truth and the emails helped too. My blood pressure is lower, no more anxiety meds. Complete freedom from those chains. Trust God for another dwelling. Blessings
Seems like it might be helpful to separate the business relationship from the familial relationship with your mother. You can find another landlord who won't abuse you. Then your mother will have less control of you.
Been there. Save up and get your own place Asap .Seriously, get out from under her control in every way. It's scary for sure, pray for wisdom and God's timing. Then move on and dont regret it. Good thoughts only!
Oh yes, I've experienced so many of these dynamics, no healthy way to address conflicts. Effective boundaries is the only thing that worked. Calling them out would not be fruitful.
No matter how much u rehearse in your head, the narcissist will shock u. I literally printed my husband's tinder activities and put them on his desk thinking he will come and apologies , he tore up the paper and stuffed it down my chest and denied all of it.
I am so glad I found You!! I know God led me to you because I feel like you are speaking directly to me!! I know God is helping me because you are giving me such great tools to cope with the narcissist I am living with!!
Mood monitoring hit the nail on the head for me .looking back to a past relationship that ended in me being physically assaulted I just realised that I was very often doing that very thing. I also thought as a Christian I needed to make the relationship work for a long time but God helped me to realise that I couldn’t
@@JacquelineHahn1 Thank you. In my support group I learned that that's trying to fix someone, that's God's job and he is already doing what he can. And God WON'T fix someone who has decided there is no God. It is very difficult even to let go of the offender, we don't like to let other people down. But they let themselves down, sadly.
It’s too late for me. I’ve already called my mother, and it was before I realized that she was a passive aggressive, covert narcissist. She is also a level 3-4 hoarder. I’m her scapegoat and a truth teller. She has been lying to family members, etc, and the smear campaign and other underhanded tactics are relentless. 😢
After many years I've managed for the most part brake free from this in house toxic spirit. Good for me, but not for others in my family that are bound by it. Tough!
I completely agree with being attacked. I expressed myself for all the abuse I'm getting, and instead of working on the problem, he called the police on me as if his life was in jeopardy. I'm currently planning my exit. 🙏🏽 💔
I’m really glad there is supportive content like this available: I married a “Christian” woman who turned out to be this way and I had no idea what was going on for years.
I’d suggest calling them out and then walking away, just move on. If this is difficult for you, try developing a mindset where you feel that the other person is irrelevant. In other words, you should work towards feeling indifferent or empty towards them. Emotions can be transformed; for instance, you can shift hate into love. Easy. Emotion is emotion. That’s why it’s important to build this kind of emotional resilience if you haven’t already.
Exactly what I did at first. But I screwed up by taking her bait after some time alone. A part of me still feels the urge to let her reach out and help put her on the right path, even if I don't want any relationship with her afterwards. I know I should cut all ties and be on with my life, as there is nothing I can do, but it is so hard once you step on the same gum again. Just deleting a person from my life is something I can't force myself to do, unless that person has caused me a lot of emotional or physical harm.
I called my ex out everytime I get disrespected, ignored, neglected, guilted, and humiliated, but when I got mad for how my ex was always on defensive mode then begs when I attempt to leave, I became the toxic gf that brings up drama all the time and my ex told me that all I ever give to her was pain and bad energy and she's scared of me because I called her out and was so angry and said things that are hurtful for her. She always lie and deny the truth and leave me frustrated. I was drained financially and now I am useless to her since I can't buy her the gifts and the dates she posts, but she drained my wallet and I have never bought anything expensive for myself. my money went all to her and then she acted the victim. I'm no use to her now. Now I am the bad person, accused with lies. the withdrawal is hard. i feel like i am the narc and i keep praying to God to reveal me my sins. she cried and told me she changed and she was grateful for me for sticking with her but all she did was blame me and tell me she's scared of me and that I am never satisfied with her so how could i believe that?
I am so incredibly grateful for every single video or short, Kris. They are encouragement for me each and every day to persevere in my situation, but primarily, they point me to the Lord. The narsassist in my life is my spouse, and I know the Lord is working mightily in me through this situation.
FREE Narcissist Survival Guide
krisreece.com/narcissist-survival-guide/
FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
@@Kris_Reece this would be great if i didnt have to download something. I am doing alright. The whole situation made me take a good long look at myself and my weaknesses. I was raised by a narcissist, so the lies they try to tie on you dont really work on me. I had to realize my family was wrong about me before i was seventeen. It helped me choose who i want to be and what i want to portray. I am also the Servant/scapegoat in the family.The last ten years withy current narcissist made me take a good long look at myself and the biggest thing was learning not to react. I wish i coulda learned that from my younger experiences. Alas, that was impossible because i wasnt allowed to have a reaction. Whew! What a life.
Thank you for the video. You look like a young girl, that energy like a girl in the 20s. Radiant, expressive and young. Congratulations. Have a nice day!
Thank You 🫶🏼
So much confusion outhere. Did you ever had covid test or had to take the shots?
@@Kris_Reece Thank you so much for your informative and helpful guide. I wish I had this a long time ago, could have avoided pitfalls, anyhow learnt a lot from the journey about satan’s tactics., and more importantly about all that we have in Jesus. It is good that God knows and is more than aware. 2 Chr 20. Thank you so much. I wish I could get a copy to my daughter. ❤️
Correct a wise man and he will love you for it; correct a fool and he will hate you.
Telling a narc that they're a narc isn't purely a corrective effort. It is self defense because once the narc knows you know what they are....they escalate. That's a good thing, if you're ready (you'll never be ready, so get ready and get after it). The concept is "lean into the fall", accelerate. The worst place you can be with a narc is idle, you want things escalating so you can break free. And in order for that to happen, all hell must let loose.
Imagine a narc is the Crown and you are the colonies in 1776. You write the declaration of independence and let the truth run free. Oh, it's going to be a fight, but it'll be worth it. Call em out, your liberty is worth it.
@@lizh1988 Truth. Stop talking to them.
@@mpclepto182 or u can cut to the short and just go no contact. I believe this makes them lose their cra*. Their worst fear.
But well written and definitly agree none the less my friend. Blessings.
Perfect word here, thank you Lord for your word and for Liz sharing it.
@@lynnm.2019 ❤️
Stop people pleasing and start God pleasing 🙏
I worship the tooth fairy
@@gregorystinette8271 Well with that, you'll have somone to blame when you lose your teeth.
Yet, GOD IS FOREVER!
The tooth fairy will never let me down
I have tried to handle it like Jesus, but I am not Jesus, then I realized, this demon needs the best treatment, the no treatment type. No energy
"You will not yield good fruit sharing your heart and frustrations with a narrasist... they simply don't care..."
@JessicaLivingOnPurpose that not entirely accurate. They care if you are sharing something they can use against you. Need to remember that the more sensitive the information the more they will use it against you.
Ohhhh yes yes, they care very much to fck you up even more. And to use sensitive information you provide against you, and trust me they dare to use it in the worst possible moment for you to spear your heart
@@beanames9690Got that right. The narcissistic gang in my HOA use illegal cameras and illegal audio surveillance monitoring everything you say and everyone you talk to in the search for any morsel of info they can use against you. These people are truly evil. Making money off of folks losing their homes is their goal, and if they can make life really hard for someone they are toxically envious of, the better.
@JessicaLivingOnPurpose God doesn't care because it's a narcissist . It cheats and steals and lies and murders children. Why would I follow anyone like that?
@@DominicElaveza
"Have I not told you that YOU are gods?" -- Jesus said it. The important thing is that you love and care about YOURSELF.
Get away from them. Don’t waste your life messing with them. Turn them over to God and let Him deal with them.
Most people are narcissistic now. Unless you can find a ‘Born Again’ Christian.
We have zero power to TURN anyone over to God or anything else. God does not need humans for anything at all. We act like we carry some power to do things.
@@curious011 Read the Word. It absolutely does say that. God’s ways are higher than our ways. He will not deal with them like humans will. Just because you “turned them over to God” doesn’t mean the same as “I’m telling daddy on you” and dad comes and whips them with a belt. That’s not how it works at all.
@@RachelPenningtonHull so God can do nothing at all unless we turn them over to Him? what kind of charismatic new age jargon is this?
@@RachelPenningtonHull God must not be the all powerful deity He is in the Old Testament then. He did as he pleased whenever He felt like it and asked for no one's opinion and needed no permission. We have turned God into an impotent santa clause who only can do what we pray for Him to do.
🤐🏆 “When someone shows you that they don’t value what you have to say, stop 🛑 talking.” (Luke 23:9)
@@MichelleL20942 , I guess I have file divorce from my husband.
He loves to initiate conversations with strangers female if he is alone, and he believes in going out for lunch and dinner with other women.
He does believe that he is doing wrong!
Your comment has literally nothing to do with that verse
Silence is deafening,when you refuse to engage the power shifts in your favor! Save your conversations for friends who listen and hear you.
Pigs on pearls, I got it🎬
@@MichelleL20942 so everyone 🤣
THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH A NARRCIST IS BASCILLY STAY A WAY FROM THEM
How to keep away if the person is the spouse
yes! Run!!
@@communicationskillstrainin1593separate (separation is different from divorce, basically don't live in the same house if you're able to do that)
yes even the Bible teaches this, to cast out the scorner Proverbs 22:10
The only question no one actually answered so far...@communicationskillstrainin1593
Narcissists are big manipulators watch out keep yourself in prayer 🙏🙏🙏.
Pray Matthew 5:44 every day it helps. 💜
@@cherylharris6312 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you... Thank you Lord for your word and for Cheryl sharing it.
Be wise as a serpent and gentle as a dove ❤
Get away from them, and if you cannot ignore them. No arguing, no judgment, no discussion, no emotion. Just do what you have to. No explanation 🤐
@Kris_Reece2 Dear Kris. Thank you. You are such a good teacher. I learn so much from you, I do not even have questions. I learned exactly how my narcissistic wife ticks and also my narcissistic room mate, and even how to navigate their behavior. Thank you so much for your instrumental precise and often visual explanation 👍💜
Greyrock
@@richardlenz2655 ✔️
Well put. I wrote out what you said as rules for myself. I can’t get away from the narcissists in my life yet so I have to remember this daily. It’s a fight bc it’s the opposite of my nature, which is curiosity, compassion, believe the best about people.
But I’m realizing more and more the best way I can love these people is not enabling their dysfunction.
@@RhymeandRamblings Congratulation. The most difficult part is, that you have to react opposite to your nature. So do not give up if you cannot do it every time, it is hard learning. Especially having no emotion and do not argue, was difficult forme in the beginning. Good lock 👍😋
A narcs "apology" is usually "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry you made me so mad, you should have known better"
Or “I apologize…for whatever it is you think I did”
The ole blanket apology to cover past present and future events. You know jsut in case.
An apology without true change is more manipulation
The other famous reply from narcs is: I hear what you're saying, but... but but but! They always have something better to say, they always know better, they always have more experience, everything has to be better than you, somehow.
I'm sorry you enforced consequences and I'd prefer to go back to doing whatever I want and treating you like dirt
I would get what appeared to be a real apology with accountability. But the same behavior would be repeated over and over again with no remorse. I eventually learned that the apologies were a lie and pure manipulation.
Wow it’s like you know my husband. Exact lines he says when i express how his actions have affected me. I used to think narcissism is just a bs. But watching so many people say similar things and experience i am convinced it’s a genuine issue. I also think narcissists number is shown low because narcs don’t go to therapy there victims end up in one.
Narcissists are completly detached from reality. Even if you call them out, they still can't see what they are doing. To them there's only one reality, and that's where they are right and you are wrong. No inbetween.
True
My my. "Trying to have a healthy relationship with an unhealthy person."
Perfect explanation. I will keep this in mind; makes sense.
Wish I'd known What Gaslighting is.. I was Naive & had NO Idea of The Manipulation that was to follow.. 👺😟
Will Never work😟
Yep, that's me with my daughter, she acted bad since a baby
It’s not a relationship, it’s a transaction. They are never wrong, you are always the problem. I love it when the mask falls.
100%. This was perfect timing, I litteraly left him swimming in the pool 5 minutes ago to pack more things while he's occupied.. . 33 years and I've just started packing sneakily.. Today I realized how really bat poop crazy he is.. 6 jobs in 7 months. He tells me at 59, an obese alcoholic he's applying for police assistant detective.... When he's been in automotive 30 years.. He was a cop for about 5 minutes 35 years ago. He's completely nuts... He's spent all our money because in between jobs he takes weeks off. It's not even just that. It's the lies and manipulating.. And I feel like the bad person for plotting my exit when he's so needy.. "I'm his only friend the only person who cares.." PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. I'M 1,500 MILES AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND HES MADE SURE I HAVE NO FRIENDS.. I NEED TO GET OUT!!!!!!!
@@antheredhen I have a friend in a similar situation. Praying for you both. Trust God and know He hasn't forgotten you. Jesus will set you free. Ask Holy Spirit will pray for you by surrendering to God with all your heart, mind and soul in His love for you in Christ Jesus. He will make a way when there is no way. Don't give up and don't give in either.Every time you pray...pray in the name of Jesus. Fear not! God is with you. ✝️🙏🙌
Get out, his demons are goi g to destroy you-it’s not love. Peace🙏🏻
Praying.
@@monicaadkins5579thank you.. Ironically I just read yesterday in a Corrie ten boom book about surrendering.
@antheredhen BE CAREFUL.The narcissist always ISOLATES you to put you in a compromised position. You have NO LIFELINE. Their is narcissistic RAGE which could put you 6 foot under. FLEE!!! Don't look back. You have your Life. You can replace "things". Been there. Dine that. Gods speed. 🙏 🙏 🙏
A friend of mine told me: "Close door's quietly".
I absolutely LOVE THAT
@@bernardbuonocore6927 that is great quote.
I Like that saying! 😏
Wow, that is good advice. Another narc found me and I saw the red flags in time. Now I need to close that door asap, but I will do it quietly without calling him out.
Love this advice. It is very powerful. Thank you.
Your analogy from 5:07 to 5:16 immediately made me think of Christ's words in Matthew 7:6: "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."
Amen 🙏🕊️🌼
@@Cosmogonal_Hierogamy
True story here. A couple I know and used to be friends with began giving me grief about my political posts on Facebook. It started off very subtle and passive-aggressive, but it eventually became serious harassment and attempted gaslighting (i.e., "Your urgency on these matters concerns us").
It got to the point that I rebuked them, but they only doubled down on the gaslighting. So I blocked them.
The next day I had some angry text messages from their teenage son! 😲
A few years later, I unblocked them because I was still friends with a lot of mutuals, and I hoped that they had finally moved on. I did not reach out to them, however, and I tried to avoid discussions on mutual friends' pages where they were involved in the threads.
Then, on my page, I replied to a different friend's question about how political developments had impacted friendships. I shared briefly the story that I just relayed here. I did NOT name the couple or say anything that would identify them, aside from the actual events themselves.
The husband commented on my post angrily saying that what I said was nothing like what happened. I replied, asking then why did he think it was about them? And I said, "When you toss a rock over a high fence into a yard full of sleeping dogs, the dog that barks loudest is the one that got hit by the rock.
He's now telling mutual friends that I called him and his wife dogs. 🫨
Amen.
A leopard cannot change its spots.....and neither can you change the leopard's spots.
Best 👌 example ❤
It's hard that they can effect others that matter to you though...that's the part I wish I could change really. These other people are so ingrained in the lies and we have been busy with caretaking so haven't been around. The Narc took advantage of that to twist reality....and unfortunately they also have always kept their kids from knowing us, aunty and uncle .....I think because our parenting is very active. Even as an aunt and uncle we like to ask them how they are etc (like people....) and she doesn't.... looking back at realized she would shallowly ask our kids then not really care unless they were little and cute and she could boast to others that she's so amazing....it's always been about her. Hard to recognize that for our kid's sake. We don't have a big family so she's definitely done a lot of damage.
They must be born again same as the rest of us
I thought the same way as a child in the 1980’s. I couldn’t help it, I was 5 or 6 when I started trying to tell my father about my narcissistic mother’s behavior patterns. Then she started accusing me of trying to break up “her” marriage. *These were my biological parents!* Then my father knuckled under to her pressure and the venom she spewed about me nightly behind closed doors and started beating me at her whim, along with throwing me into furniture, etc. My mother threatened to beat me for getting less than an A on a spelling test when we were alone at home one day. The teacher I tried to go to for help told them immediately. My parents yelled at me calling me a liar for 4 to 6 hours at the kitchen table (after school) daily for 4 days, 7 hours on Saturday and 3 on Sunday. Two adults ganging up on an underweight, undiagnosed ADHD 7 year old child, born with undiagnosed Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic disorder. That’s when I understood that there was zero help for me from other people. These are just two scenarios I lived through. I gained an ally at age 8 when I accepted Christ. Prayed, cried and bided my time. Talk about a lesson in patience! Gave them 19.5 years of chances under their roof. Even worked for them while in college. Got married to a good man who actually practices Biblical love right before turning 20. Finally fully went no contact at age 24, I think. Silence and the word “No” are my keys to peace. I am who God made me. No one can make me hate myself for that anymore. Still married to the same man for 28 years. I am grateful to God for every peaceful day. Still healing, but God kept me from breaking and taking on the generational curse. I sincerely pray for their hearts to change. God’s will be done.
Edit: Added “(after school)”
Wow! Powerful testimony. So happy that you got away from them at last.
Bless you Staci. You are stronger than you know. It is sad that no one you reached out knew how to help properly. Being a child, our parent(s) seem giant and we are powerless to fight back. For me, it was keeping the peace instead of seeking outside help. That and protecting my brother's, who BTW turned into the same thing. I am glad you married a good man. It sounds like God brought him into your life. As for me, I married a narcissist too, covert type so I didn't realize it, I thought anything short of yelling, screaming, hitting, name calling etc was better. There was no info or easy internet access to learn what these ppl were. I prayed a lot and was guided. I ended my marriage and kept my family at arm's length. Ended up with the kindest man. Opposite in every way. I know he was God sent, like your husband. God hears us, he works to find us protection. Live in peace and light and love. ❤
Thank you for your lovely testimony
Same exact story, weird. But I choose to take responsibility myself instead of counting on the god they used to justify their abuse for anything, since they spent all that time telling me I was such a sinner and god could never love me because I was an incorrigible sinner.
I figured I'd just take them at their word, and I'm so so much happier and healthier without all of them
@Faesharlyn
I'm so sorry you went through that; the thing is, that's what the demons inside your parents wanted, to make you believe a horrible lie, that God will never love you (when it'sthe exact opposite), to keep you away from knowing his true love, to keep you on a different path and make you believe that what you're getting is the best that you can have in life. My friend you've been lied to, and and you still haven't yet to realize how much, but there's still time, because you're alive. Hope you find the truth 🙌
A combination of your videos and prayer helped me cut off my girlfriend of 6 years. Thank you, and more importantly thank you Christ🙏🏿❤️
I didn’t know about covert narcissism. I prayed for years for my marriage. I finally was made to understand that the answer was no. I have a wonderful family now. Big revelation, He always answers. Sometimes the answer is no.
@@cheesygal Amen. So true.
The answer was no to the marriage? Did God intervene ? I am putting my narcissist husband/ marriage in Gods hands
@@VickyRenyard well, my then husband ‘s‘ behavior became so abhorrent that it was clear. He left the faith (or at least stopped claiming he had it) and stopped even trying to act like a married man. The Bible gives allowances for that. Once while I was sobbing and crying out in prayer, I said that we aren’t given more than we can handle. The Holy Spirit came and gave me peace, but my husband wasn’t changing for the better. I understood the comforter had come. I went to a substance abuse counselor to understand how I should respond to the situation. I learned how to behave correctly under the circumstances, not the substance but the narcissistic behavior. I set boundaries with consequences, he left shortly after. His life went further into destruction after that. Mine went in the right direction. He stayed in contact with the church long enough to turn people against me, including some family. I didn’t try to change their minds. Just moved on. I prayed for many years and realized that the Bible gave us choices under circumstances. My husband was choosing to be hateful and unloving. God hates divorce, He also hates his loved ones being abused. I hope you get relief.
You divorced?
@@Daysleeper1000 I did. He was unwilling to make any effort to be a decent husband and I let him go. It was heartbreaking for a time, then the peace set in.
I've let my daughters go, and pray, and feel at peace.
Same for me, I let my 2 sons go - but pray that one day God will change their hearts.
Ditto 🙏🏼
Same😫
Prodigal children
😢
I have never understood why any parent could be jealous of their own child. Still can't wrap my head around it at times but i now see it. Blessings
I feel the same way and I still can't understand how parents could be jealous of their own child. I always am and still do want better for my children. I would be thrilled for them to be better in all ways of their life than me. And they have been. I guess I am thrilled 😊✝️👑💖
A child can be jealous of their parent as well. It is very sick.
@@bornagain2890 can u be my mom, lol. My covert abusive narc mother pooh pooh and denigrates all my accomplishments
So agree with you...don't think I'll ever understand it.
@@bornagain2890 amen....me too. I've always wanted better for my kids. Blessings
How to deal with a narcissist biblically -
1. Break the bond, of codependency - defining your value and self-worth based on their opinion of you
2. Resist the urge - to correct or educate them, or tell them off - give them no answer
3. Give it to God - He is at work
AMEN💋💞🌷🌹💪🙏
@@musicmayer2043 Beautiful advice
Thank you 🙏🌻
It's haaard when you're stuck with one
Best strategy. Thank you!
@@emilykaranja9879 This side of heaven life is verrrry hard, but God promises His strength to those who belong to Him. I'm not minimizing your difficulties, but wanting to encourage you to believe what God says and to NOT believe the lies of Satan.
Once the Narcissist knows that you know who she is... All hell will break loose, put you shield on because the flaming darts will be directing your way.
Had a similar experience with a supervisor. Cut off all necessary contact, didn't fight back and prayed and declared Psalm 2 and Psalm 9 over the situation. They resigned after four months. Praise God.
Who is the 'they' that resigned? Was it more than one supervisor? Otherwise he or she resigned. Don't fall for the trap of the woke gender-nonsense, using a plural form of a verb for just 1 person.
Other than that: great story of deliverance. Praise God indeed.
@@gardenjoy5223 It's not woke gender nonsense, I'm in my 60s and that's traditional when you speak of a non specified sex. Such as, "if anyone buys a new car, they should always research which company has the best history for manufacturing that type of car".
It's not about turning women into men, or vise versa. Not new.
@@lizh1988 Well, it was forbidden in my school in the strictest way to write like that. They was never ever for a singular person.
And yes, it IS woke nonsense. People are confused, led by sexual arousal, changing here and there depending on their hormone level. People have lost their moral compass and do 'whatever' they feel. Silly. And the transgenderism? Every cell in that person's body, both a bit older and just being made, is screaming the actual gender one was born with, no matter how much hormones you give them or how your butcher them up. There is therapy for such people, but they prefer the wider attention, they get nowadays, I guess.
Going no contact with narcissist Mom and brother is my only Peace. After years of abuse I finally broke free.
Good for You!
Me too. Over 48 years with a strong narcissistic mother and MUCH constant abuse. No contact was the only way (whether other people understood or not).
Did God help you? It’s really extremely hard starting afresh completely unknown with no support whatsoever. Especially when you’ve got a lot of severe issues due to the severe narcissistic abuse you had to endure for years… (my case extreme family scapegoating 😢😣)
100% true!! The best way to deal with a Narcissist is to disengage and pray for divine intervention. They are uniquely unable to recognize, much less attempt to “pull the plank” from their own eye.
No use to defend your own actions/intentions, or call out their behavior. Narcissists are the heroes of their own lives, and a victim of someone else’s when something negative happens.
I exposed my ex narc with receipts….the Lord lead me right to the information…and he ran like a little school girl crying all the way home…..he bit off more than he could chew with me…….never heard from him again and it’s been 8 yrs….
Praise the Lord…..
I hope this is my outcome.
@@EMbee7 trust your own instincts…..your not crazy…..
@@polskigirl8547 Thank you--you know how we doubt this fact after dealing with them!
@@polskigirl8547 yes they want you to ignore those gut feelings and instincts we all have internally and make you think it’s all in your head.
@@polskigirl8547 this is interesting bc the lord led me right to the info as well. My problem is I want to tell her that I know what she did but was told I shouldn’t say anything & just cut all ties. But I want her to know what she did!
Too late. Already did it and it certainly backfired.
Done it many times.
Been there a lot, narcs are all alike in their stealing and destruction.
Yeah, I did too. Super sized, crazy circus now. Praying for all of us! 🙏
@@chantal8882 We know after that hoovering that there is no way in earth they will ever truly do good, and that we have no obligation to help them. A lesson well learned, and often nothing worth learning is easy. We only get healing in steps, and sometimes it's just enough to get by
Far better than following in the narc's footsteps and being ambushed yet again.
@WillowHopeBartlett amen. I'm facing a legal process accused by my wife... The pinnacle of the backfires. I just trust God Jesus Christ is in control, I did learn to not tried to there to "help" with the process of other individuals, just the God's Spirit is the one that can saved us. We should just praise him for saving us, share the good news and let God do his will and praying in our side for them. Also I've learnt that much more bible reading, listening and praying is needed, more today than any other time in human history. We're in the last days,Jesus told us THESE things will happen and they're happening often and stronger. And when this things begins, raise your head up to Him, our redemption is near. God bless you. Be saved, that's our main life priority.
Like abusers, they double down for control
This happened to me (husband and I) recently. After many years of SIL bad behavior, she was finally called out firmly. Sorry, but it felt good. Now it’s all out in the open. No more biting my tongue. She used all the tactics and threw it back at us. We walked away. No more chances. We live way across the country now but will have to see each other in the future. Best to walk away from it and not engage. Is she gossiping about us to the rest of the family? Probably. No matter.
OMG every word you said is TRUE 20 years in to this toxic marriage
No kids involved thank the Good Lord
Had my kids with my first hubby
I know my husband doesn't care and won't take accountability, but after years of being afraid I made the choice to speak out his harm. Not because he was going to listen, care and change, but because I needed to speak. This was a part of my journey of learning how to be brave like a Lion. I spoke knowing that my injustifice was in God's hands. I spoke knowing God was listening. I spoke knowing that I needed to speak. My husband doesn't care about anyone, but himself, so all he did was respond with lies and victim statements. I knew he would do this and therefore his response didn't surprise or impact me. I didn't need justice from him, I already have it from God. God is a God who loves justice, so I can trust him. I may not see God's justice yet, but I know God has seen the harm I have endured. I choose to forgive and let go to God and no longer carry this burden as my own. I no longer feel powerless like I did, because I serve a powerful God and he is carrying this (he's got this).
That’s awesome !
❤❤❤❤
I just learned to stop talking or returning a baiting question with a heartfelt answer. I have learned to literally save my breath. They do not care. They dont want to fix it. Youre telling my story!!
"How do you fight a monster without becoming one?" I see it, finally: you don't fight the monster, you leave them alone on that arena.
Did I get it right?!
Yep, however it sure does Hurt daily inside your body and inside your mind if YOU STAY..
better to leave … get out….
You will get Cancer if you stay… your mind will be lost
Why would you waste time with a monster? Why? It's better to move on and spend time with lovely, supportive, and affirming people.
But what do you do when the narcissist is your mother and she is dependent on you and no one else is willing to assist her with managing her healthcare, household, and personal estate matters. When we go to appts and errands, she never ceases to bomb humiliate and embarrass me in public. She will say something truly outrageous that even though I try to go emotionally and mentally prepared there's no way anyone can predict what she will say whether lies, accusations, criticism or judgments she will come out with something that is outright exaggerated and lies in an attempt to belittle me in public. I have my own home, thank goodness, but I tend to her because I believe it's my moral obligation. But she is cruel and abusive. No one else will. I feel alone with no support system whatsoever. It's sad and difficult.
@@PA677-trinity3 then she has lost the ‘right’ to expect you to help her… because her behaviour is hideous and hurtful and you should
Remind her if you leave she has no one - remember you aren’t a child anymore - she is scrrwed without your help, so you need to tell her that she either plays nice or she will be on her own. And that is the co sequences for her cruelty to you. That’s not being mean, that’s consequences for negative harmful actions against you. And if she abuses you again after that (she will, to test it) you simply leave. Call her a cab home If you wish, (& she doesn’t have the money for one) but she loses you. Also tell your Dr what is going on, as you are at high risk of being accused of elder abuse from what she is saying.
It’s disgusting behaviour and if she wants you to behave like the loyal child, she needs to start acting like a real mother.
Not an abuser.
Protect yourself, and set very very firm boundaries and rules for engagement.
Otherwise she will destroy you (which is a narcissists favourite game).
That person you are calling a monster is made in the image of God. Repent!
It is a sin problem. The only way out is to renew your mind, study His word and reckon it to be true in your mind. This is the only way God works in our lives today. All through His word!
Thank you! I needed to hear this. After my second attempt I finally have left my Narcissistic husband of 20 years that murdered his 1st wife. He love bombed me at first and was inconsitant about how she died and told me the truth after I fell in love with him! I really need prayer from everyone and keep telling God that I give it to him, just to realize that I still have not! Thank you.
All true. Don't challenge the professional manipulator, they've been at it way longer than you.
Calling them out is like inviting them to their favorite party.
@@mactine2k7 AND, they don't change, won't!
I learned the hard way. We are doing it God's way. It has been a lot quieter.
But nothing getting discussed or resolved. Just two ships passing in the night.
You cannot discuss and resolve anything with the demon and the demon is piloting that ship. So I am fine with the passing.
@@carlausoff6407 God told you? and there's a demon that only you can see? Why is it we use God to justify whatever the heck we need God to say or do. It's all US. It's always been humans using the word God to justify our actions because we can't face how bad humanity can get.
@@carlausoff6407 this is exactly it! Whenever these bad circumstances happen, I felt it was demonic and never had considered that before. But the narc has been involved in the occult. We had to go in the opposite direction. We all choose our path. My husband and I said our peace and now we all know where we all stand.
People who dealing with a Narc. PLEASE PLEASE, listen to what Kris is saying!!! She is 1000% correct!
Thank you so much for honoring God with your gifts and knowledge. It’s so painful realizing I’ve wasted 37 years trying to keep my narcissist mother happy. Nothing ever works.
"Evidence by the fact that you're here right now" - Wow, this really blew my mind. God is really watching over us all the time, and faith really is the ultimate healer.Thank you, thank you.
THEY ARE ENCAPABLE OF AN APOLOGY
She says.... the narc... I didn't do anything wrong ! Wow! crazy ! They expect you to apologize for ! I agree with you completely !
Are narcisists a special class of sinner? Can they be born again?
'Break the bond....' I so agree. It frees you.
Narcissist starts fight and blame you for everything than tell everyone lie about you its so hard to be with them Narcissist is like poison
It’s real poison! Poison to your mind, body and soul.
We gotta pray for increased faith it’s the lack of faith that keeps us stuck pray to increase faith then you can break free
You can’t reason with an unreasonable person. AKA a complete full. Unfortunately the only thing that was able to deal with my ex was the restraining order. The police handed her a brutal but a real reality check. That’s the only thing that ever did work but then it’s too late. After 35 years she divorced me when she realized she could no longer control me. Praise God I am free.
Thank You So much for this video!! It STOPPED me from just CUSSING OUT A person in control of others wellbeing!! I know god can bring them down way better than l ever could!!🙌🏽
Whatever makes them look like a hero and the victim, oh wow, this is so accurate.
Listening.
Made that mistake myself.
Daughter of a narcissistic mother here who turned my brothers against me too.
I wonder if this grieving, inadequate guilt, anxiety, anger and depression cycle ever ends 😔
I should hope so! ❤️🩹😮💨🙏♥️♥️♥️
Oh wow! I typed my comment and then scrolled down to find another daughter of a narcissistic mother. Sending you love 💕 prayers going your way .
We get through it. Slowly but surely. Very best to you.
Go no contact. Im 14 yrs no c w abusive covert narc mom. Best decision i ever made
@@AgueroNain truly hope so but it’s extremely rough waters.
Hopefully the therapist I am with can help me navigate plus prayer prayer prayer 🤲
@@millier9658 sailing in the same boat.. My brother is against me now.. He is not talking with me!
Already done in the spirit of love….Leaving the outcome in God’s care. I can’t make someone respect me BUT I refuse to be disrespected. Healthy boundaries are key(for me).
These estranged adult children have no idea what God is capable of.
If someone refuses to meet with a mediator, pastoral team, or a Christian counselor… asked why would anyone NOT want to improve on communication/relationship?
That mystery lies in the mind set of the unhealthy person…. In meantime if they don’t appreciate your presence, PLEASE, give them the gift of your absence (that I can do, have done)…
Peace is on my side 🕊️.
I’m not a peace keeper, I’m a peace maker, there’s a big difference.
I just found your channel, and all I can really say is “thank you Lord”! You have been such a lifeline and series of lightbulb 💡 moments. 25 years into a marriage with a narcissist has made me mentally unstable. The only way out that I could see was suicide. I had all about given up on my faith as well. I know the narcissist will not change, but I now have footing in my faith and mental health once again. Thank you!
Amen to this! I finally called out my narcissistic husband, rebuking several specific behaviours after enduring a marriage of gaslighting and blame. He immediately abandoned me, and stonewalled me. It’s been six months. I’m in shock. Did not expect that. Just days before the rebuke he was texting how much he loved me. Kris is spot on. They just can’t take the feedback.
Correct a wise man, and he will love you for it. Correct a fool and he will hate you. That's from the Bible, sound advice.
I'm sure it says to avoid the fool, but I know it says to avoid the angry man lest you become angry also.
My ex narc husband tried to kill me. You don't have a marriage. I'd separate.
This was the video I needed in order to cease communication with my narcissistic family. It couldn't possibly come at a better time in my life. THANK YOU!
I know someone who tried to tactfully tell someone that they had narcissistic traits only to be called evil, didn't end well
Im sorry God, praying 33 yrs. Im still waiting on your reply for my daughter, im letting it go now. Giving it All to you. Not just part. Amen. I trust you will turn it for good. ✝️
Yep. I have been fighting over the validation of lies and the horrible allegations my son spews about us to everyone. I had to figure out that breaking the codependency is NOT breaking the love I still have and will always have for my son. It took me a long time to truely give it to God and just stop wrapping my everything around my son and his lies. The minute I gave to the Lord though, peace. True peace.
Oh my goodness! I was given the same message yesterday by the Lord Jesus through my younger son as he was shown the discouragement I was going through. He told me the truth that took a huge load off my shoulders! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ ✝️👑💖
Oh my goodness thank you so much for this video. As much as I felt uncomfortable I still chose to confront and expose my narcissistic sister toxic patterns. Passive aggressive, covert grandiose victim. It turned out in rage towards me. Learning from my mistakes humbling myself and going gray rock. Thank you Jesus!
I had to detach from my entire family. It’s tough. But guess what? No more shingles! Listen to your body!
@@TheDivayenta wow I got hives from my narssistic friend
I’m currently in that process… did God help you and support u as u left?
This is the truth .... the sad truth!
They never admit to have made a fault or lie! 👍👍👍👍👍
OHHH, that is totally the perfect phrase to show what they do to us... borough themselves in like a parasite. That is so accurate!
I need to find a proper solution to dealing with THIS TOXIC DEMON!!! I TRY TO STAY QUIET , just to keep THE PEACE!! ITS SO EXHAUSTING!!!
why is everything we don't understand a demon? We invoke demons to deflect how bad a human can really be. It is a coping mechanism we use to make a bad situation into something spiritual.
I love your videos and I love that you have the Christian aspect of it. I’ve watched so many videos but because of the Godly view you give, you stand out from all the others. Thank you for what you do.
So blessed to finally have someone who offers a Biblical perspective on Narcissism (insolent pride). Thank you Kris. We wrestle not against flesh and blood folks. There is a spiritual and sinful war going on. Break the bond with them. Today! Pray and give them to God and focus on following Jesus. Live your best and blessed life. No trust self centered people with your heart.
That’s the message I needed to hear …. Thank you …. I have to be better at no response at all and just listen and peacefully put a end to the conversation
Backfire is an understatement
One man's backfire is another man's crucible.
May the good Lord continue to bless you. Thank you!❤
It would have been nice to come across your channel and know this about narcissists years ago. It would have saved me from A LOT of emotional and spiritual turmoil in being abused by them and trying to get over it. Thank you for bringing solid theological truth about this issue and helping people to make wise decisions.
Thank you chris, you've opened my eyes to so many things that i was putting on myself & the fact that you bring in our Lord to seek Him using scriptures, all we want is to have the narcists healed, free from the control of the enemy especially if its your child
Thank you Clarice! I just pray a lot and I rely on Gods word. More now than ever. I survive from day to day from my narcissistic husband. Being married to a so called Christian narcissist is the absolute worst situation. I’ve come to point of feeling sorry for the human that bad spirit hijacked. I wonder if he will ever see truth and begin to live truth. I’m still praying daily. Prayers to those who have suffered the narcissist control and to those who are in close living situations ♥️
Hi Ms. Reece. Enjoyed this and wanted to hop on and thank you for the wisdom, input and guidance you gave me a couple of years ago. I put into practice a couple of difficult decisions and they have worked. Toxic narcissism in family members can be very painful, but I want to tell your viewers that there is hope. Listen to what the Holy Spirit tells you and obey it !! The solution for problems most often begins with becoming aware and knowledgeable of what is involved in the situation. Kris helped me greatly in this matter. Many thanks woman of God.
I have 13 years with him…. I feel so undervalued around him and so vocal about my feelingings and it never went well. Thank you
I would hug him and it felt like hugging a pillar however he could passionately hug people we meet at events.
Brothers and sisters, trust God when you pray it works. He said all we need to do is ask in prayers. My testimony spans from penury to $127,000 bimonthly, and you stay and doubt that he doesn't answer prayers. Make that altar now and spend time there. A change is in the way. Amen!!!
God bless you more abundantly for your generosity
But then, what do you do? How do you come about that in that period?
I'm a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down of myself but I still believe in God.
It is the digital market. That's been the secret to this wealth transfer. Thank you Jesus
Thanks to Mrs Kathleen Vella
Help me, LORD JESUS TO GO WITH YOU❤
Amen 🙏
Yes, prayer and giving them over to christ to change, and care for each day is a big help. Sometimes I get tripped up but quickly grow quiet and pray for them.
I was about to call out the narcissist again, and continue the vicious cycle. However, I decided to watch your videos instead. I feel relieved and so glad I deleted his email and blocked his number. You are so spot on with this video of the truth about the narcissist. Thank you for sparing me more pain and abuse!
I like the word;
If someone Doesnt Accept your gift, to whom Does the Gift belong..
To whom does the gift belong ??
Thank you Lord and thank you Kris for letting Him use you!
thank you for this. Much needed. When someone shows you that they don't value what you have to say, stop talking
Proverbs 9:8...Do not reprove a ridiculer, that he may not hate you. Give a reproof to a wise person and he will love you.
Proverbs 23:9...Into the ears of a stupid one do not speak, for he will despise your discreet words.
I just turned 50 and my 76 year old mother hasn’t taken a breath attacking me my entire life and I am most definitely one blunt bold woman who speaks her my mind and has called her out since as long as I can remember. She has lied to try and get my son taken away (I’m a single parent), she has had my son over the holidays for many many years trying to poison him against me and brainwash him with lies (which he only just told me about now he’s a teenager) . Oh my, you just can’t believe what this woman has done and the trouble she has made for us. Her husband and son are her puppets who she has turned against me. This woman is one sick being and walks around like butter doesn’t melt in her mouth. I reckon’ her heart would stop beating if she ever had to apologise to someone. Unfortunately , I am stuck living in one of her houses and I don’t know how to get out with my son and the little dog I bought for him. I have a lease and pay rent and you’d think the way she breaks tenancy laws that I am living here for free. Evicted me when I asked her to remove her belongings from all over the house after she put the rent up. Stupid me, freaked out and paid the rent increase with all her items still here. Rent just went up again and I ain’t paying it until she removes her belongings so I can utilise the space and I can feel the next eviction coming again. so she should be paying. If anyone’s reads this comment, please pray for me and my son because this woman is hell bent on taking me down any which way she can simply because I’m confident, happy and have always stood up to her and she calls me a mental case?!?! I’ve never seen such a delusional human being in all my life and someone so hateful towards their own child. This popped up on my screen at the perfect time !! I’m joining this channel. Thank you and God bless all who stop here. ✝️💕
Same boat. They hate your happiness, joy, that others like you, your confidence. When u can cut off contact. I use to feel guilty about it cause she would call my brother, aunt, and others and play the victim. I have sent emails explaining to those family members all i have put with and told them i would like to continue a relationship with them and that was sorry about all of it but my health was suffering from all of her actions.i do have a relationship with them. They told her they are staying out of it. One reason this worked is that i prayed for God to open their eyes to the truth and the emails helped too. My blood pressure is lower, no more anxiety meds. Complete freedom from those chains. Trust God for another dwelling. Blessings
....also I cut off all contact with her
Seems like it might be helpful to separate the business relationship from the familial relationship with your mother. You can find another landlord who won't abuse you. Then your mother will have less control of you.
Been there. Save up and get your own place Asap
.Seriously, get out from under her control in every way. It's scary for sure, pray for wisdom and God's timing. Then move on and dont regret it. Good thoughts only!
If you can separate from her 100%, you will be liberated. I hope you are financially able to find another place. God Bless You!!
Oh yes, I've experienced so many of these dynamics, no healthy way to address conflicts. Effective boundaries is the only thing that worked. Calling them out would not be fruitful.
No matter how much u rehearse in your head, the narcissist will shock u. I literally printed my husband's tinder activities and put them on his desk thinking he will come and apologies , he tore up the paper and stuffed it down my chest and denied all of it.
I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. I hope you find freedom soon.
It's such a time wasting bundle of constant confusion loss poverty failure and exhaustion.
I love my solitude and my peace!
Thanks Kris and God bless!
I'm new on this journey and I couldn't think of a more helpful start with this word from you.
I praise God for you. Thank you ❤
I am so glad I found You!! I know God led me to you because I feel like you are speaking directly to me!! I know God is helping me because you are giving me such great tools to cope with the narcissist I am living with!!
Mood monitoring hit the nail on the head for me .looking back to a past relationship that ended in me being physically assaulted I just realised that I was very often doing that very thing. I also thought as a Christian I needed to make the relationship work for a long time but God helped me to realise that I couldn’t
@@JacquelineHahn1 Thank you. In my support group I learned that that's trying to fix someone, that's God's job and he is already doing what he can.
And God WON'T fix someone who has decided there is no God. It is very difficult even to let go of the offender, we don't like to let other people down. But they let themselves down, sadly.
It’s too late for me. I’ve already called my mother, and it was before I realized that she was a passive aggressive, covert narcissist. She is also a level 3-4 hoarder. I’m her scapegoat and a truth teller. She has been lying to family members, etc, and the smear campaign and other underhanded tactics are relentless. 😢
So true , this was my life ! I’m divorced now and happy now.
Oh Jesus, I surrender myself to You, take care of everything!
what happened was I had to back off to keep my own peace and not go bonkers.
This is the best video I have ever seen on narcissism. Thank you so much. Very helpful. God bless you.
After many years I've managed for the most part brake free from this in house toxic spirit.
Good for me, but not for others in my family that are bound by it. Tough!
Great stuff! I just recently came to this same conclusion.
I completely agree with being attacked. I expressed myself for all the abuse I'm getting, and instead of working on the problem, he called the police on me as if his life was in jeopardy. I'm currently planning my exit. 🙏🏽 💔
I'm so sorry. 🙏
I’m really glad there is supportive content like this available: I married a “Christian” woman who turned out to be this way and I had no idea what was going on for years.
I’d suggest calling them out and then walking away, just move on. If this is difficult for you, try developing a mindset where you feel that the other person is irrelevant. In other words, you should work towards feeling indifferent or empty towards them. Emotions can be transformed; for instance, you can shift hate into love. Easy. Emotion is emotion. That’s why it’s important to build this kind of emotional resilience if you haven’t already.
Exactly what I did at first. But I screwed up by taking her bait after some time alone. A part of me still feels the urge to let her reach out and help put her on the right path, even if I don't want any relationship with her afterwards. I know I should cut all ties and be on with my life, as there is nothing I can do, but it is so hard once you step on the same gum again. Just deleting a person from my life is something I can't force myself to do, unless that person has caused me a lot of emotional or physical harm.
I called my ex out everytime I get disrespected, ignored, neglected, guilted, and humiliated, but when I got mad for how my ex was always on defensive mode then begs when I attempt to leave, I became the toxic gf that brings up drama all the time and my ex told me that all I ever give to her was pain and bad energy and she's scared of me because I called her out and was so angry and said things that are hurtful for her. She always lie and deny the truth and leave me frustrated. I was drained financially and now I am useless to her since I can't buy her the gifts and the dates she posts, but she drained my wallet and I have never bought anything expensive for myself. my money went all to her and then she acted the victim. I'm no use to her now. Now I am the bad person, accused with lies.
the withdrawal is hard. i feel like i am the narc and i keep praying to God to reveal me my sins. she cried and told me she changed and she was grateful for me for sticking with her but all she did was blame me and tell me she's scared of me and that I am never satisfied with her so how could i believe that?
Oh so true. 😢
I love and appreciate your help with these videos 😮
I so needed to hear this today! I'm sure it was not a coincidence.
🙏✌️❤️⚘️
I am so incredibly grateful for every single video or short, Kris. They are encouragement for me each and every day to persevere in my situation, but primarily, they point me to the Lord. The narsassist in my life is my spouse, and I know the Lord is working mightily in me through this situation.
This is fast becoming my favorite channel. New subscriber.