Your voice and language is so apt for GRIEF GURU. Those words about close relationships are so true,especially with the spouse. Even men n women are different in their grieving patterns and so many weak relationships break forever. I too lost my mom and teenage son all of a sudden. Thank you loads for your videos. Keep reaching out more lives.
Yes I thought my mom and dad would be more supportive they have both lost their parents and other family but they are not. I lost my partner of nine years in March unexpectedly and I am truly angry by best friend was there for me but I have changed and I am grieving alone, but when I come through this I honestly dont want to deal with anyone ever again. Your channel and others have been here for me more than my own family and for that I thank you 🙏
It is disappointing when the people we thought would be our biggest support don’t show up the way we need them to. The good news is, you are learning how to find the support you need in tough times and it will serve you well in future seasons. We are here to help and support your journey!
When my friends parents died I was overbearing and went overboard. They were dealing with other hardships as well. I regret that when they were not receptive I was selfish and made it about me. I projected and as a result I was selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate, and cruel. I really hurt them deeply by making it about me. I never understood grief as I was never close to anyone I knew that died. I want to make it up to them but I dont know how. I am giving them space for a few weeks so that I can reflect on my actions.
I totally get it. I am horrified by some of the things I said and did before experiencing grief for myself. I think most of us have been there. I think giving them space and then perhaps a heartfelt apology in person or in writing would go a long way.
@@Graceforlivingafterloss I plan to message them in about 3 weeks and apologize after taking time to reflect and grow from it. The worst part is they have depression and trauma and I was the last person they would expect to be the way I was. It has me up at night that I hurt them the way I did.
I reached out and apologized. They accepted my apology, thanked me, and said they hope I understand. We chatted and they shared something personal and then a few days later we joked around. I found myself in a similar predicament with my projecting and used what I learned to not act on that and to remind myself that my projections are baseless. I'm trying to learn and grow and am hoping they have forgiven me.
Im really struggling with my partners isolation following the passing of his father recently. He has a tendency to push away anyway but its so fresh he just wants to be alone. Im so struggling with the practical impact of being the sole parent for our kids over the past few months with the possibility of an indefinite amount of time ahead as well as being a doer myself and what im being asked to do is nothing in relation to him 'just' raise three kids and keep going with life until hes ready to come back. Im working hard on my own stuff to be ok with doing that but im terrified the relationship is going to break down because of it all it feels so sad to lose what was a loving committed relationship and future due to grief. Im more than prepared to listen and get to know the person this will shape him to be but i find it so hard to just wait
That is a very hard position and I'm sorry you're having to go through it. Men tend to deal with grief differently than women. Has he sought any help or support for his grief? It is OK to express your needs and boundaries during this time, you do not have to settle for an indefinite time of handling things solo. If he is open, I would be glad to go over some tools and programs that could help him: team.griefhelpchat.com/session
I lost my guy bestfriend almost one yr ago then 5 months ago my husband. Ive lost my father, my brother, my daughter and now my guy bestfriend and im a widow at 44. I really pray for healing
My girl lost her son in an accident several years I want to be there for her . Trying to be there for her . She has spractic moments of depression . I trying to find some comfort and support for her well being
So sorry for your families loss. Is she open to getting help with her grief recovery journey? Kelli lost her son and is passionate about helping other parents learn how to live again. Let us know if we can be of assistance to you or your daughter.
What do you do if the griever doesn't want to talk and doesn't want to sit in silence? In my case the griever is pushing me away. I have tried to be there for them and it seems to backfire as I wound up going over board in my effort to help when their loved one died. It really feels like every decision I make is a wrong one. Is it normal for them to push me away? What do I do?
Thank you for trying to be there for them.....if they are pushing you away there is not alot you can do about that. Let them know that you are there if and when they need you. Unfortunately we cannot do this work for others, it is work they must do themselves. They are most likely overreactive right now as they grapple with the weight of the loss and trying to learn how to manage their feelings. Try to not take it personally and just let them know you are there.
I think I will give then space and check in on them about once every few weeks just to be there and give them space at the same time. What do you think?
@@AnonymousUser-uq8cq people respond to grief in different ways, they may have learned how to "act" like they are OK just so they can get through the days and do what they need to do. They also may feel like their close friends do not understand them so isolation is a common thing. Just let them know you are there for them when they are ready to talk.
Im sorry for your loss. Tha knyou for sharing helpful tips and being a voice of compassion and understanding. Do you have a video about divorce/separation after the loss of a child? My husband of 22 years left me last year (though hasnt filed divorce yet) after our 7 year old passed away.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your child and now the separation. That is very common and i will be glad to do a video about it, thanks for the suggestion. Do you have support to help you during this time?
@@Graceforlivingafterloss My church family has tried to be there for me, but no one really knows what to say (they've said that). Also Ive worked for the church for 14 years and they don't support divorce and especially not remarriage after. So I feel even more isolated. I'm just not really connecting with anyone. I feel like no one understands. I have two people I can talk to, but overall I just feel so disconnected. It's not really that no one is trying it's more a me problem, I guess.
My husband passed away in January 2024. Like for instants, after a family get together, I felt lonely, irritable. they say that it is getting uncomfortable for them. What must I do.
Grief and loss makes people uncomfortable.....its important that you find a community of people who understand grief and can be there to support you during this time.
My husband.. his dad Said I am too sad and angry.. son died by suicide 2021, pending a divorce with 2 little kids.. our marriage is even more horrible. Men vs women differences?
What does a support person do if they keep getting pushed away? The griever does not want to talk or open up. They only want you to be with them. The griever does not want you to laugh or enjoy something that is special to the supporter!
Well boundaries goes both ways. If you are finding it difficult or confusing to be a support person, share your thoughts with the griever. Let them know you want to be able to support them but are finding it difficult. Maybe you both will need some time and space to know how to be there for each other, or maybe they need to find additional outside help that can give them what they need. Thank you for trying to be a support, we know it’s not easy.
You gave the answer right there my friend. They only want you to be there. That's simple enough hey? Not everyone wants to talk...some do, some don't. Or they may want to talk in time.
Your voice and language is so apt for GRIEF GURU. Those words about close relationships are so true,especially with the spouse. Even men n women are different in their grieving patterns and so many weak relationships break forever. I too lost my mom and teenage son all of a sudden. Thank you loads for your videos. Keep reaching out more lives.
Thank you for your kind words.
So true ❤❤❤: Somedays, I’m good. Others are very tough.
Yes I thought my mom and dad would be more supportive they have both lost their parents and other family but they are not. I lost my partner of nine years in March unexpectedly and I am truly angry by best friend was there for me but I have changed and I am grieving alone, but when I come through this I honestly dont want to deal with anyone ever again. Your channel and others have been here for me more than my own family and for that I thank you 🙏
It is disappointing when the people we thought would be our biggest support don’t show up the way we need them to. The good news is, you are learning how to find the support you need in tough times and it will serve you well in future seasons. We are here to help and support your journey!
When my friends parents died I was overbearing and went overboard. They were dealing with other hardships as well. I regret that when they were not receptive I was selfish and made it about me. I projected and as a result I was selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate, and cruel. I really hurt them deeply by making it about me. I never understood grief as I was never close to anyone I knew that died. I want to make it up to them but I dont know how. I am giving them space for a few weeks so that I can reflect on my actions.
I totally get it. I am horrified by some of the things I said and did before experiencing grief for myself. I think most of us have been there. I think giving them space and then perhaps a heartfelt apology in person or in writing would go a long way.
@@Graceforlivingafterloss I plan to message them in about 3 weeks and apologize after taking time to reflect and grow from it. The worst part is they have depression and trauma and I was the last person they would expect to be the way I was. It has me up at night that I hurt them the way I did.
I reached out and apologized. They accepted my apology, thanked me, and said they hope I understand. We chatted and they shared something personal and then a few days later we joked around. I found myself in a similar predicament with my projecting and used what I learned to not act on that and to remind myself that my projections are baseless. I'm trying to learn and grow and am hoping they have forgiven me.
It feels like hell
Yes it does
Its 10 months for me. and Ifeel the same way.
I expected to have more support.
I think most of us expected more support than what we received. Hoping your finding what you need now.
@@Graceforlivingafterloss Nope but thank you 🤞
Well said, experienced all of that.
Im really struggling with my partners isolation following the passing of his father recently. He has a tendency to push away anyway but its so fresh he just wants to be alone. Im so struggling with the practical impact of being the sole parent for our kids over the past few months with the possibility of an indefinite amount of time ahead as well as being a doer myself and what im being asked to do is nothing in relation to him 'just' raise three kids and keep going with life until hes ready to come back. Im working hard on my own stuff to be ok with doing that but im terrified the relationship is going to break down because of it all it feels so sad to lose what was a loving committed relationship and future due to grief. Im more than prepared to listen and get to know the person this will shape him to be but i find it so hard to just wait
That is a very hard position and I'm sorry you're having to go through it. Men tend to deal with grief differently than women. Has he sought any help or support for his grief? It is OK to express your needs and boundaries during this time, you do not have to settle for an indefinite time of handling things solo. If he is open, I would be glad to go over some tools and programs that could help him: team.griefhelpchat.com/session
Thank you ❤
You're welcome 😊
I lost my guy bestfriend almost one yr ago then 5 months ago my husband. Ive lost my father, my brother, my daughter and now my guy bestfriend and im a widow at 44. I really pray for healing
I am so sorry for your many losses. Have you sought out any help for your grief recovery?
My girl lost her son in an accident several years I want to be there for her . Trying to be there for her . She has spractic moments of depression . I trying to find some comfort and support for her well being
So sorry for your families loss. Is she open to getting help with her grief recovery journey? Kelli lost her son and is passionate about helping other parents learn how to live again. Let us know if we can be of assistance to you or your daughter.
What do you do if the griever doesn't want to talk and doesn't want to sit in silence? In my case the griever is pushing me away. I have tried to be there for them and it seems to backfire as I wound up going over board in my effort to help when their loved one died. It really feels like every decision I make is a wrong one. Is it normal for them to push me away? What do I do?
Thank you for trying to be there for them.....if they are pushing you away there is not alot you can do about that. Let them know that you are there if and when they need you. Unfortunately we cannot do this work for others, it is work they must do themselves. They are most likely overreactive right now as they grapple with the weight of the loss and trying to learn how to manage their feelings. Try to not take it personally and just let them know you are there.
I think I will give then space and check in on them about once every few weeks just to be there and give them space at the same time. What do you think?
@@AnonymousUser-uq8cq sounds like a solid plan
Is it normal though for the person to push their friends away to behave normal and act happy around people they are not friends with?
@@AnonymousUser-uq8cq people respond to grief in different ways, they may have learned how to "act" like they are OK just so they can get through the days and do what they need to do. They also may feel like their close friends do not understand them so isolation is a common thing. Just let them know you are there for them when they are ready to talk.
Im sorry for your loss. Tha knyou for sharing helpful tips and being a voice of compassion and understanding.
Do you have a video about divorce/separation after the loss of a child? My husband of 22 years left me last year (though hasnt filed divorce yet) after our 7 year old passed away.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your child and now the separation. That is very common and i will be glad to do a video about it, thanks for the suggestion. Do you have support to help you during this time?
@@Graceforlivingafterloss My church family has tried to be there for me, but no one really knows what to say (they've said that). Also Ive worked for the church for 14 years and they don't support divorce and especially not remarriage after. So I feel even more isolated. I'm just not really connecting with anyone. I feel like no one understands. I have two people I can talk to, but overall I just feel so disconnected. It's not really that no one is trying it's more a me problem, I guess.
Thanks. Please cover Grief and a Levirate marriage. Where the husband thereafter marries his wife young sister etc
My husband passed away in January 2024. Like for instants, after a family get together, I felt lonely, irritable. they say that it is getting uncomfortable for them. What must I do.
Grief and loss makes people uncomfortable.....its important that you find a community of people who understand grief and can be there to support you during this time.
I’m the grieve and his sister is grieving too. Lost my boyfriend.
I"m so sorry for your loss. Sending you love, comfort and strength!
@@Graceforlivingafterloss thank you ❤️
My husband.. his dad
Said I am too sad and angry.. son died by suicide 2021, pending a divorce with 2 little kids.. our marriage is even more horrible.
Men vs women differences?
I’m so sorry for all the trouble you’ve experienced. Do you have support/help?
What does a support person do if they keep getting pushed away? The griever does not want to talk or open up. They only want you to be with them. The griever does not want you to laugh or enjoy something that is special to the supporter!
Well boundaries goes both ways. If you are finding it difficult or confusing to be a support person, share your thoughts with the griever. Let them know you want to be able to support them but are finding it difficult. Maybe you both will need some time and space to know how to be there for each other, or maybe they need to find additional outside help that can give them what they need. Thank you for trying to be a support, we know it’s not easy.
You gave the answer right there my friend. They only want you to be there. That's simple enough hey? Not everyone wants to talk...some do, some don't. Or they may want to talk in time.