My affair partner was also my boss, and to complicate things further, his wife was my co-worker. It's a terrible situation, I know. The relationship started when he came to my rescue during a time when my kids and I were facing homelessness. He arranged for us to have an apartment, covered my rent, bought me a car, and provided for our necessities. At that time, I saw it as immense generosity, something I had never experienced before. My life had been filled with people using and taking from me, so I felt a sense of indebtedness to him for his kindness. This belief led me to believe I owed him my love and affection. Of course this situation spiraled into a mess that left me more depleted than fulfilled. Thank you for this channel and the community it fosters. I feel too judged to share anywhere else.
The fact that you (yes, YOU) could make a choice to sleep with a married man, wreak destruction in others’ lives and STILL see yourself as deserving of sympathy is sickening and testament to your narcissism. You feel judged because you ARE being judged, and rightly so. Plenty of people go through hard times but most people don’t deal with those by screwing married colleagues and busting up families and relationships.
@Amylynnklh900 I anticipated a response like yours when I shared my story. It's okay; I'm thankful to say I'm in a better place now ❤️ When I was younger, I was a struggling single mother who was easily manipulated. What I did was wrong, and I take full responsibility for my part in that terrible situation. However, ma'am, you don't know the full complexities of what led me, or other women, into such situations. I understand some judgment is warranted, but being involved in an affair doesn't make someone inherently bad. Many women, like myself, were targeted, groomed, love bombed, lied to, and manipulated. It's crucial not to rush to demonize someone without understanding their full story.
@@AutumnVioletStorm There are no “complexities” to this situation; you took what wasn’t yours to take with no regard to the consequences because you wanted to do so. Sounds pretty straightforward to me. Accountability doesn’t include deflecting all blame onto the other person when you could very easily have said no and refused to entertain them.
@@SG-wx8zm I know very well I was wrong. I take full accountability for my actions in the affair. Discussing his grooming and manipulation doesn't mean I'm deflecting blame. His actions exploited my vulnerability, which is crucial to understanding how I got into that situation. Relationships, including affairs, are complex, and reducing them to simple blame overlooks the dynamics of human behavior and vulnerability.
I watched my best friend go thru this for A LONG TIME. I told her I had to break up with both of them bc I was watching her self destruct. He was just a twisted immature coward cheating on his wife.
Totally spot on! When I found my own strength and dignity and saw it for what it really was, I moved on and got out of it in one piece. I'm a work in progress Kate but getting better. ❤ Your channel is excellent, many thanks. 🇺🇸❤️🇭🇲
It's so lovely to hear you are carving a healing path forward @anneaires3984. You deserve to flourish 💕 I am glad you have found this channel supportive 🤍
@@alethea6781 your words are spot on … 2.5 years started wearing on us both when he ultimately made the choice to stay married though he told me I’m who makes him happy 🙄🤷♀️
Kate, good to see you. You look so strong and centered. Rooting for your success, here. You have clearly learned so much from what you have one through. The fact that you can articulate this so well and have the courage to do so is really impressive. Glad other 'other women' have you for such understanding support. "It would be a challenge on their business." Well, as adults and as the business leaders they'd carry the responsibility to meet that challenge. Putting it on you in a guilt trip designed to trap you is inapropriate, unethical, and reveals their immaturity as well as the level of manipulation they are willing to commit against your best interests. The promise is so shiny & beautiful a future that it distracts from the reality of the current situation. The real harm or hurt you are feeling. What changes it from a can't to a can is often the wife catching him in tue act. Then she usually instigates the divorce he doesn't have the guts for. But he might begin to resent you if she does. Heads up.
Yeah. She's getting rid of a man she thought was great and honest but found out is not. You're accepting a man who you know is a liar and who he will see as a coconspiratorv against his wife or family. Of course he's gonna marla maples you. But don't feel bad. He'll still cheat on the one here leaves you for too, because neither you nor her are special. He's running from dissatisfaction and that is inward.
I found myself in an affair later in life; having not experienced that before its been a shock to find myself here. So much of what you shared deeply resonated with me and really helps me to get clarity on what I am feeling and why I have allowed this to continue. Thank you for this video. I'm currently feeling in my true and highest self and feeling able to take the steps to move beyond being in something that doesn't best serve me.
My ex wife sabotaged our marriage during the engagement by starting sleeping with a married man. She needed the validation . It was actually pathetic and awful. I tried hard, but I filed for divorce because there were 1 million issues she should have addressed with herself which she preferred to offload and project on to me. I think she was in horrible pain.
@@allisonlee8842 I think we know all men are vulnerable to sex on offer. Sex is a man’s only true weakness. The rage is on women because we have better control over this and what women aids and abets a man in attempting another woman’s marriage and family.
I was involved with a married man for 8 years. I was single. He never told me he was unhappy with or leaving his wife. I never expected us to be any more than what we were. I didnt have any of these issues.
This borders on delusional. You’re talking about boundaries and self empowerment, and half of this speaks to still building a future with the guy. Also ignores the role you play in his absolute trampling and disrespect to his wife’s boundaries. Why should you be surprised when he disrespects yours? I have never understood the mentality of “the other woman”. Why do you want a man who is a certified cheater? Even if you get him, you win a life with someone who has it in their personality to manipulate and cheat. You will either be blind to when he eventually cheats on you, or never fully trusting him. Wow what a prize. 😂
Thankyou @jodaisy113 🙏 Some locations defiantly have potent healing energy. Your surroundings do matter. 🤍 I feel blessed and happy to be in a such a beautiful place 🌸
I think there’s been decades of stories and research that points towards the probability of a man leaving his family for a lover is very slim. I think if you are a woman thinking about being an OW, you need to be real with yourself. Good baseline is telling yourself, “Someone willing to cheat with you is willing to cheat ON you.” Why would you even want a person like that? You need to be realistic. If this creep of a man can enjoy being the “Family man” AND can get free sex as well with another woman, WHAT’S in it for him to change that dynamic. He’s got his cake and eating it too. Women need to learn to step back and look at the big picture without the emotional high and think rationally about what’s really being offered to them. Any married spouse, male or female, surfing for something else outside of their marriage is a void no one, including yourself, can fill. Don’t give yourself to someone like that.
Holy heck absolute lack of accountability of how you are a homewrecker. You are a cheat, you talk about boundaries and yet have zero boundaries for crossing another wife's husband. You are the other woman who is destroying another family. Where is your moral compass at the very beginning before not after but before things get out of hand and the cheating starts. Obviously the husband is to blame too blind Freddy can see that. You trying to offer yourself as a coach and get a following to somehow talk about cheating with zero accountability of the damage you have caused is reprehensible.
Why are you blaming her? She didn't cheat. She didn't go back on any vows. What about the man? He is the one that cheated. Sometimes women can be the worst enemy of other women
@MarthaLampley Absolutely the man is at fault. It takes 2 to tango and she came to tango with a married man. No one held a gun to her head, she chose to come between another woman and her husband. Let's get real, a lot of men are ruled by their P×××s and are just plain horns. Whereas a woman has to think about before she commits, and she was committed.
@@MarthaLampley She is complicit in the cheating. She knew full well he was married yet still chose to cheat with the married man. Why not go n find a man who isn't married??? Why not hold you yourself accountable as to who you decide to fornicate or create infidelity with? Accountability can be like kryptonite to women.
@@Apbt-rv7zw Why do you think it's her that is cheating? She didn't make any vows to anyone. The man is the one cheating. You are blaming the wrong person. Sometimes women are the worst enemy of other women.
@MarthaLampley Did you read the part where I said "she is complicit in the act of cheating" It's like receiving stolen goods. You didn't do the stealing, but you received stolen goods. You are complicit in the act of stealing and still going to jail. As humans, we still have a moral compass to uphold. Otherwise, we slide into chaos.
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My affair partner was also my boss, and to complicate things further, his wife was my co-worker. It's a terrible situation, I know. The relationship started when he came to my rescue during a time when my kids and I were facing homelessness. He arranged for us to have an apartment, covered my rent, bought me a car, and provided for our necessities. At that time, I saw it as immense generosity, something I had never experienced before. My life had been filled with people using and taking from me, so I felt a sense of indebtedness to him for his kindness. This belief led me to believe I owed him my love and affection. Of course this situation spiraled into a mess that left me more depleted than fulfilled. Thank you for this channel and the community it fosters. I feel too judged to share anywhere else.
The fact that you (yes, YOU) could make a choice to sleep with a married man, wreak destruction in others’ lives and STILL see yourself as deserving of sympathy is sickening and testament to your narcissism. You feel judged because you ARE being judged, and rightly so. Plenty of people go through hard times but most people don’t deal with those by screwing married colleagues and busting up families and relationships.
@Amylynnklh900 I anticipated a response like yours when I shared my story. It's okay; I'm thankful to say I'm in a better place now ❤️ When I was younger, I was a struggling single mother who was easily manipulated. What I did was wrong, and I take full responsibility for my part in that terrible situation. However, ma'am, you don't know the full complexities of what led me, or other women, into such situations. I understand some judgment is warranted, but being involved in an affair doesn't make someone inherently bad. Many women, like myself, were targeted, groomed, love bombed, lied to, and manipulated. It's crucial not to rush to demonize someone without understanding their full story.
@@Amylynnklh900You do better! Judge not, seek to understand.
@@AutumnVioletStorm There are no “complexities” to this situation; you took what wasn’t yours to take with no regard to the consequences because you wanted to do so. Sounds pretty straightforward to me. Accountability doesn’t include deflecting all blame onto the other person when you could very easily have said no and refused to entertain them.
@@SG-wx8zm I know very well I was wrong. I take full accountability for my actions in the affair. Discussing his grooming and manipulation doesn't mean I'm deflecting blame. His actions exploited my vulnerability, which is crucial to understanding how I got into that situation. Relationships, including affairs, are complex, and reducing them to simple blame overlooks the dynamics of human behavior and vulnerability.
I watched my best friend go thru this for A LONG TIME. I told her I had to break up with both of them bc I was watching her self destruct. He was just a twisted immature coward cheating on his wife.
Totally spot on! When I found my own strength and dignity and saw it for what it really was, I moved on and got out of it in one piece. I'm a work in progress Kate but getting better. ❤ Your channel is excellent, many thanks. 🇺🇸❤️🇭🇲
It's so lovely to hear you are carving a healing path forward @anneaires3984. You deserve to flourish 💕 I am glad you have found this channel supportive 🤍
@@katelondon01 So glad to be part of the Kate London fam!!! ❤️
Thank you for this. I recently got out of a six year affair. It’s a really painful lose, lose situation where everyone gets hurt
@@alethea6781 your words are spot on … 2.5 years started wearing on us both when he ultimately made the choice to stay married though he told me I’m who makes him happy 🙄🤷♀️
Kate, good to see you. You look so strong and centered. Rooting for your success, here.
You have clearly learned so much from what you have one through. The fact that you can articulate this so well and have the courage to do so is really impressive. Glad other 'other women' have you for such understanding support.
"It would be a challenge on their business."
Well, as adults and as the business leaders they'd carry the responsibility to meet that challenge.
Putting it on you in a guilt trip designed to trap you is inapropriate, unethical, and reveals their immaturity as well as the level of manipulation they are willing to commit against your best interests.
The promise is so shiny & beautiful a future that it distracts from the reality of the current situation. The real harm or hurt you are feeling.
What changes it from a can't to a can is often the wife catching him in tue act.
Then she usually instigates the divorce he doesn't have the guts for.
But he might begin to resent you if she does. Heads up.
Yeah. She's getting rid of a man she thought was great and honest but found out is not. You're accepting a man who you know is a liar and who he will see as a coconspiratorv against his wife or family. Of course he's gonna marla maples you. But don't feel bad. He'll still cheat on the one here leaves you for too, because neither you nor her are special. He's running from dissatisfaction and that is inward.
I found myself in an affair later in life; having not experienced that before its been a shock to find myself here. So much of what you shared deeply resonated with me and really helps me to get clarity on what I am feeling and why I have allowed this to continue. Thank you for this video. I'm currently feeling in my true and highest self and feeling able to take the steps to move beyond being in something that doesn't best serve me.
My ex wife sabotaged our marriage during the engagement by starting sleeping with a married man. She needed the validation . It was actually pathetic and awful. I tried hard, but I filed for divorce because there were 1 million issues she should have addressed with herself which she preferred to offload and project on to me. I think she was in horrible pain.
@@timmysmith9991 during the engagement?? … Why did you go thru with the marriage?? … No judgement I’ve made my own mistakes
Where is the rage against the man in the comments?
@@allisonlee8842 I think we know all men are vulnerable to sex on offer. Sex is a man’s only true weakness. The rage is on women because we have better control over this and what women aids and abets a man in attempting another woman’s marriage and family.
Meant aids in destroying another woman’s marriage and family life
Rrrrraaaage!!!!😂
It's because women want to blame other women. They don't want to face the fact that their men are predators
Rage about what? She made the choice so rage is useless.
I was involved with a married man for 8 years. I was single. He never told me he was unhappy with or leaving his wife. I never expected us to be any more than what we were. I didnt have any of these issues.
The lack of remorse😔 ... Our World Needs so much Healing🙏🏽 #Godspeed
Why did you break up, how did it end and did you love each other?
This borders on delusional. You’re talking about boundaries and self empowerment, and half of this speaks to still building a future with the guy. Also ignores the role you play in his absolute trampling and disrespect to his wife’s boundaries. Why should you be surprised when he disrespects yours?
I have never understood the mentality of “the other woman”. Why do you want a man who is a certified cheater? Even if you get him, you win a life with someone who has it in their personality to manipulate and cheat. You will either be blind to when he eventually cheats on you, or never fully trusting him. Wow what a prize. 😂
Thank you. I'm desperate, confused and full of pain
They can be painful even when they aren’t secret affairs, even when the guy isn’t married. So I do t know ow what the answer is. It isn’t that simple.
I'm the pursuant other Guy second year running, divorced, way back in the day...
Looks like you’re in a beautiful place … think I can see the ocean … it’s more healing to be in surroundings like that … you look happy 🙂
Thankyou @jodaisy113 🙏 Some locations defiantly have potent healing energy. Your surroundings do matter. 🤍 I feel blessed and happy to be in a such a beautiful place 🌸
@@katelondon01 🤗
I think there’s been decades of stories and research that points towards the probability of a man leaving his family for a lover is very slim.
I think if you are a woman thinking about being an OW, you need to be real with yourself. Good baseline is telling yourself, “Someone willing to cheat with you is willing to cheat ON you.” Why would you even want a person like that?
You need to be realistic. If this creep of a man can enjoy being the “Family man” AND can get free sex as well with another woman, WHAT’S in it for him to change that dynamic. He’s got his cake and eating it too.
Women need to learn to step back and look at the big picture without the emotional high and think rationally about what’s really being offered to them.
Any married spouse, male or female, surfing for something else outside of their marriage is a void no one, including yourself, can fill. Don’t give yourself to someone like that.
Holy heck absolute lack of accountability of how you are a homewrecker. You are a cheat, you talk about boundaries and yet have zero boundaries for crossing another wife's husband. You are the other woman who is destroying another family. Where is your moral compass at the very beginning before not after but before things get out of hand and the cheating starts.
Obviously the husband is to blame too blind Freddy can see that.
You trying to offer yourself as a coach and get a following to somehow talk about cheating with zero accountability of the damage you have caused is reprehensible.
Why are you blaming her? She didn't cheat. She didn't go back on any vows. What about the man? He is the one that cheated. Sometimes women can be the worst enemy of other women
@MarthaLampley Absolutely the man is at fault. It takes 2 to tango and she came to tango with a married man. No one held a gun to her head, she chose to come between another woman and her husband. Let's get real, a lot of men are ruled by their P×××s and are just plain horns. Whereas a woman has to think about before she commits, and she was committed.
@@MarthaLampley She is complicit in the cheating. She knew full well he was married yet still chose to cheat with the married man. Why not go n find a man who isn't married???
Why not hold you yourself accountable as to who you decide to fornicate or create infidelity with?
Accountability can be like kryptonite to women.
@@Apbt-rv7zw Why do you think it's her that is cheating? She didn't make any vows to anyone. The man is the one cheating. You are blaming the wrong person. Sometimes women are the worst enemy of other women.
@MarthaLampley Did you read the part where I said "she is complicit in the act of cheating"
It's like receiving stolen goods. You didn't do the stealing, but you received stolen goods. You are complicit in the act of stealing and still going to jail.
As humans, we still have a moral compass to uphold. Otherwise, we slide into chaos.