Signs Your Partner is Cheating
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- Kristin Snowden, MA, LMFT, CDWF is a seasoned therapist and certified life coach who specializes in treating sex and love addiction recovery, betrayal trauma healing, and other acute, crisis relationship issues. Kristin shares a thorough list of signs that your partner may be cheating or having an affair, based on her years working with couples and individuals struggling with intimacy disorders, sex addiction, infidelity, betrayal trauma, and toxic relationship cycles.
Some signs are: 1) your "gut" is telling you something is off, you don't trust his/her behavior, choices, interaction with others 2) you find your partner is re-writing your relationship history to something more negative 3) there's an increased defensivenes when you check in with your partner 4) changes to your partners's sexual patterns and a focus on "passion" or intensity. Humans are very intuitive and often notice when something is "off" with a loved one’s behavior. This webinar provides several stories and examples, to help you home in on incongruent behavior. It can be hard as cheating partners often engage in confusing behaviors such as gaslighting, manipulation, DARVO, and other emotionally abusive tactics that leave the betrayed partner feeling crazy, lost, and more alone. Kristin discusses the importance of rebuilding strong instincts and intuition as important steps to heal from betrayal and infidelity. This content is never meant to blame and shame anyone but offers free help and resources to support those struggling with couples crisis issues and provides a language and tools for healing. PLEASE NOTE: Many ask whether these signs ALWAYS mean someone is cheating? My answer is: NO, not always'. Most of the signs listed in my video are signs of a partner pulling away from the relationship and, perhaps, getting their needs met outside of the marriage. That can end up being infidelity but it can also be because they’re emotional shutting down or subconsciously getting zero needs met. My hope is that this video will ignite a discussion between partners and lead to both seeking professional help to explore why there has been a chasm in the relationship.
Full article here: www.kristinsnowden.com/single...
(This is for educational purposes only, it is not therapy)
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#betrayaltrauma #cheating #narcissisticabuse #healthyrelationships #howtospotacheater
If your spouse suddenly starts criticizing behaviors that never bothered them before, or complaining about flaws that you have always had, they have someone new in their life that they are subconsciously comparing you to.
This!! Definitely experienced this.
Yes. I was like, "You KNOW this has always been the case even before we got married, why is it a cornerstone issue now all of a sudden?"
Yep, his ex.
This is so accurate! Especially the way the cheating ex re-writes the relationship story.... All the good parts get left out of the story! No balance...
Precisely , all the good parts get left out. The suspected party just coils up like a venomous snake striking with highly defensive mockery, gaslighting, projecting, victim shaming ect. They figure if they strike you enough and make a most abrasive angry retort, you will back down from your logical suspicions and question your own rational thinking to the point where you may discount it as pure insecurity and paranoia. They tell you , "You are crazy, nuts ect" all in an effort to misdirect. They tell you, its you, you are the one who in fact is the cheater. When you have been with someone for a long time, you recognize differences in behavior patterns. Go with your gut stacked on rational incongruencies you observe over time also known as red flags. In the end, the personality engaged within intimate relationship betrayal will fight tooth and nail to save face unless caught red handed and even then it will be your fault as you drove the person to do such acts.
This is perfectly logical. The wayward shares all of the mundane, unpleasant parts of the marriage, i.e., paying bills, working, kid problems, house maintenance, etc. with the spouse, and the "dessert" , i.e., the sex, with the affair partner. The AP gets all the fun stuff, and the spouse gets the drudgery.
This is especially true with wayward women. Women have an uncanny ability/habit of viewing any and all events - past, present, or future - through the filter of their CURRENT emotional state.
You “re-write” the relationship story because you are often unable to evaluate it while inside it. I was married 20 years and I was miserable but I felt unable to leave it because of kids and family. I find that most spouses of “cheaters” are in denial and think their relationships are far better than they care to admit. Of course if someone stays it’s suddenly fine. I call bs that it is. No one has an affair because the relationship is great and they’re just bored. Even if it’s just sex, which is was not for me and I’m still with the man, there is something wrong. It’s okay to want someone else and it’s normal. Also I’d love to ask why when we leave people for other people before marriage and make these complaints about the former partner, we aren’t questioned but in a marriage we meet someone new and it’s made up? All human relationships end.
I paid attention to the sentences that were coming out of my mouth off the top of my head
Example
One evening in his circular argument that never went anywhere
it was just the way he was speaking to me. My response was
don’t speak to me like that. I’m not a prostitute. That was my gut instinct, speaking out loud. I did not have to think about it. It came out ,from my gut.
When his mistress contact me, she told me about the 30+ prostitutes the now x mistress now has a restraining order against him
His constant lying anger and arguing got continuously worse
During his anger episodes, he would blurt out events from our past, that did not happen the way he was stating them, but stated our past life as if I ruined his work events for him.
His perception
After his third time of going off on me is when I waited for him to go on a business trip and I moved out, quietly
EVERY SINGLE SIGN WAS LIKE A BILLBOARD
As soon as I found out he added his ex online, I called it out, blocked and vanished. You’ll never be able to contact or hear from me again if you betray my trust. Byyyyee ✌🏼
You are a real and sincere person!
Good for you. Take your power and walk away.. Very smart and courageous of you
Why don't people just admit they are done with a relationship and leave and be honest without torturing their partner? Why do cheaters stay in a relationship when they obviously hate the relationship? So answer that?
Yeah man same question
On my website I have a blog called “facing infidelity with courage” and I explain that In that article.
www.kristinsnowden.com/what-is-infedelity
www.google.com/amp/s/www.kristinsnowden.com/amp/2018/02/27/facing-infidelity-with-courage-1
Pretty simple: not everything is broken in the old relationship.l and the cost of leaving a long term relationship is often quite high. Done.
Their behavior changes which they try to coverup but can't.. They pick fights for no reason. You just know it in your gut. They look at you with contempt.. My ex displayed all of the above. I started preparing for the end of the relationship. He was not worth the efforts to save or fight to resuscitate the relationship. He needed therapy.. Glad I left. I eventually found myself again, found peace, self worth, and love, stability, moved far away from him after 20 years.. Will.never look or go back....❤
Pay attention here! She began with what? Gut instinct. Never and I mean never ever ignore your gut. Just because you haven't solved the puzzle, it doesn't make you stupid! It doesn't make you the lesser! It means there 'is' a problem. Do not ignore it!!!! Go slowly and take what doesn't add up and put it on a checklist 'before' overreacting!!!
When there's a pattern of inappropriate behavior there is always a trail.
In a world where Hollywood and TV manufacturing non stop "affair" porn, Tinder like app easy access, plus everyone is becoming addicted to dopamine hits, relationships are getting tough to hold together.
F??? 8c??z?iii[iioiioioiiiiio[ooo99
Thank you for showing sensativity in this video, and caring about the extreme pain some are going through...Too many youtube videos on this topic are somewhat cruel and , the hosts, in their attempts at seeing "tough", end up making things worse
More signs: partner seems “checked out” of the relationship; partner stops talking about the future with you. These happened to me before he admitted cheating.
@@smithwilliams545
Still pushing the commercial. The last one that I saw your name was lou.
My website address has changed! www.kristinsnowden.com Check it out and let me know what you think!
Been watching videos all night and this one stood out the best. Thanks for what you do.
Great video. Thank you for your time and effort.
Thank you for doing this video ... very helpful and informative.
Thank you. This is so much better information than the typical, shallow checklist usually presented on the internet. So grateful to hear a more in depth and educated description. Genius.
Thanks. I really appreciate this feedback. Im very impassioned by this particular subject matter yet it continues to be my lowest ranking video on my channel. I wasn’t sure if it was because it wasn’t resonating with people or it was a topic people weren’t interested in learning about.
@@KristinSnowden I hear married guy travail along for sex and the wife in their 50's she don't care anymore. really
@@KristinSnowden Cheater are all narcs..
@@KristinSnowden Married guys dye their hair blonde or dye their hair and beard too, all red flags
You are amazing!
The part about passion seems to have hit personally close to home for her. Seems she got a bit teary eyed when talking about it. I feel ya. Been there myself 😔
Absolutely the the most holistic video I've watched on the subject.
Thank you! So glad you found it helpful.
I’ll say this with sadness… iykyk. This is the most on point video on this subject I have ever seen. Everything you have said is 100% correct. Great unbiased information that could help so many people! 👏👏👏👏
Thank you.
Kristin is spot on!!
Thank you so much for your videos. HAVE WATCHED MANY CHANNELS ON THIS SUBJECT AND YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST. My sincere thanks-
Wow. Thank you. What a kind thing to say.
I have been having this gut feeling for about my whole marriage. I have been married for 6 years
I hope you’re able to talk about it with your partner and explore what exactly makes you feel so unsafe and uncertain that you’re partners not being honest or keeping his/her promises.
How they can look you in the eyes and lie... Without any emotion is beyond me.
The thing is I try to talk but more arguments. I have done everything I can possibly do to improve myself to help improve the marriage. I have changed my body. Down to 12 percent body fat. I took on most of the bills. Her response to me is you ain’t do that for me. SMH. I am literally at a loss. No sex either.
You have to be without a soul to do that consistently.
This was really good and informative
Best video I've seen on the subject. Period .
Wow. Thanks. Glad you found it helpful.
Thank you for free helpful content
OMG, your helping me so much! Thank you 🙏
That’s so nice to hear. I’m so glad.
No. 3 sounds like rationalizing for what they are doing to relieve themselves of the guilt.
So spot on ! The gut feeling and the rewriting of relationship story .. all of them
Kristin seriously thank you.
Wow...
She talked about polygamy randomly right before she left and blocked me on everything..
Absolutely wild
Yeah, my ex-wife did the same thing. It's all really hitting me right now. All of the signs were there, and I had absolute trust in her and faith in our future. Damn.
@@thegoodsouphotel8332this right here what you just said is I think what happens to most men. We just don’t see it coming but after it gets exposed it’s usually then and only then that you see all of the red flags. It’s also at that point where you start to think about all of the off times and wonder if it was them cheating. It’s so awful. I hope your doing better
Great video , thank you
This is an excellent video. Thank you
Glad you enjoyed it!
I took her and her kids on vacation. She said everything was perfect. we come back, I hang out with her for 2 days and then I'm gone for 2 days. I come back and she proceeds to treat me like garbage for the next 5 days. she looked like something was up the night before when i facetimed her. it was literally like overnight change in behavior
Very good!
“Affair sex will always be more pleasurable than married sex” - I find this to be one of the most insidious myths in our culture, and I cringe every time I hear it come out of a professional therapist’s mouth. I am eternally grateful to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of EFT, for pointing out research that shows just the opposite: married couples routinely report HIGHER satisfaction with their sex life than singles, and the longer the relationship, the higher the satisfaction level. “Marriage kills passion” is just one more line that abusers use to gaslight their victims. It’s perfectly possible, perhaps even likely, that two honest people who protect the sanctity of their relationship will be rewarded with an increasingly satisfying sex life as the years go by. Therefore, the desire for good sex should no longer be cited as a reason to have an affair.
Thank you for your comment. However I want to clarify that I do not believe or assert that “affair sex will always be more pleasurable than married sex”. However, “new”, novel, forbidden, or risky sex can often feel more intense. Maybe not more “pleasurable” or satisfying, but intense due to dopamine being more present during novel events such as those types of sexual acts.
Fascinating and interesting this kind of topic , I’m interested to know more so I subscribe . Thank you .
my narc got a 100% on this test 😢..... every day feels worse for me.... 😢😢😢
Yes and I did use hackbybernard@gma|| ,com//whatsapp:+1~858~480~4130 to catch mine, I read about him from someone here and I got all evidences I needed from partner phone.
You hit the nail on the head oh so good ty
@catalina abrio
Another commercial, more jumping on the bandwagon.
Thank you !!
You are very helpful
Thankyou for this video..It's right on point. Sad but true.
I already know my wife is cheating on me, but this just confirms it's 110%.
Every sign you mentioned were there in my 37 years of marriage. I am now a widow and am realizing this, but am left with how to address and heal from the anger and hurt with my partner now gone as well as the guilt that I had the signs right in front of me but feared calling hIm out on it. How do I deal with everyone telling me what a great marriage I had when that's not true? How do I deal with the embarassment of knowing some people knew he was never sexually fsithful all along and his guy friends that knew and helped him based on the justifying stories v he told them, yet acted like they were my friends. So to those of you in a marriage like this, deal with signs now not when you are a widow.
That is so painful. Eventhough he’s gone you may still want to engage a betrayed partners community to process the grief, loss and betrayal.
I am going through this same thing and I have no idea how to deal with it.
@@KristinSnowden
Greetings Dr. Snowden,
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'diligence redefined',
a new sub - how can I possibly refuse . . .
.*.*.*,
Re: novelty I’ll say it this way- if she always laid in missionary position and suddenly just tries a new position without mentioning it before or after sex, (and you see other signs from this video) she’s likely cheated.
If instead she brings up the topic of new positions and has always wanted to try new things, we’ll that’s likely just how she is.
Caveat: if she isn’t affectionate most of the time and suddenly “forces it” when it seems you’re angry she islikely feeling guilty. A big red flag is when she doesn’t ever want to discuss intimacy...on any level -emotional or physical.
Red flag 2: Statue and gaslighting with “excess” sex almost to the point of “you never do this why now”
Re: calling out 25:33 yes, this happened to me. She was caught texting about sex with “a life-long friend” whom I never met. All that happens at that point is they hide it better. Good luck with that.
28:31 this is one of the biggest signs of contempt. Get out if you see this. They have written you off.
28:58 this comes out in therapy as empty words i.e verbal compliance. For instance, therapist says, “is that a plan you would both like to enact” both answer: “ yes” and no action is made. This will repeat and be met with apathy or worse anger and aggressive gaslighting when partner is engaged.
8:59 having been on both sides, I think this is very insightful.
Alot of times when he or she ain't taking care of their partner at home or never wants to be intimate,one gets tired of trying to get your partner to have sex,and me personally,I think male or female,end up cheating on their partner.
I would be very glad for a video on partner cheating using internet dating sites and meeting up with perfect strangers as opposed to work colleague etc. thanks!
Do you feel like there’s a difference in the source of the cheating? Maybe varied levels of emotional investments by the cheater but often the betrayed parter is most traumatized by the lying, gaslighting, and sneaking around (living a double life). That tends to be the same no matter what kind of betrayal it was. But I’d love to hear your feedback.
Most of these signs in my relationship. Concerning.
nice demonstration
Great video Kristin , I'm just a year out of marriage with a cheater. I still feel the intense effects of the gaslighting , nearly like ptsd symptoms .
Is there any online sources to help with recovery from gaslighting ?
+Barry Egan Betrayal trauma (ie being cheated on and lied to) can absolutely look and feel like PTSD. The RUclips channel Center for Healthy Sex has some great videos on betrayal trauma and treatment of betrayal trauma. Many therapists specialize in that. EMDR can also be an effective trauma treatment for certain candidates.
my ex g/f gaslit me a lot too.. i 100% relate to your comment.. she
would gaslight me on big things and little things.. i mean it was
terrible.. i began losing my grip on reality.. even after we ended the
relationship i noticed i was still in that mode (probably still am) and
other people noticed too... but when i'd tell them why i was acting the
way i was they just told me i was complaining- they didn't understand ..
people who haven't been through it just don't generally get it... but
its very real... i still feel like i'm getting back to normal and coming
back to myself
lookup this guy named trenton hawley on youtube.. start at his first video and work your way up.. thank me later (and no i'm not him)
Cloud Air I'll have a look thank you
+Barry Egan check out my website www.kristinsnowdenmft.com I have some articles on betrayal trauma. Also, betrayal trauma can absolutely look and feel like PTSD. Feel free to email me for other resources. Or check out my reading list.
Mine suddenly kept his car clean. He was cheating over lunch with a co-worker
Thank you
What if I checked every box off on this list about my partner and her coworker. Especially the mock and insult the side guy and then find that he buys her lunch daily and my relationship is always the topic of conversation
Wow . All the signs were there!
This was a Great video. Logical a Based off professional experience, clinical case studies & hearing hundreds of of stories of people lives, and being able to use those similarities to validate that the same concerns/signs I’m seeing, are the same signs others are seeing.
Please keep doing videos like this. As reviving from 11yeara with a BPD w/ Narcissistic tendencies made me so angry knowing how I struggled to learn to trust myself again. Only for her to end up being the one 180Deg different from woman I fell in love with. As women I fell for wouldn’t be this distant. She’s find me, call, show up, and we’d talk it through before that conflict grew any larger. For now, I grieve and wait for her to hopefully come clean. Though I honestly do not think that short of a video showing her with dude balls deep, will never admit it. Whether it’s upholding her Bravado/Ego that she, never has n never will cheat. This part 15months, everything I do. Even when doing big favor for her. It’s thanks: I appreciate it, followed my criticism over some aspect up it so I feel that it was never good enough. The times I come through for her, and do NOT let her down.(keep my word. Complete task on time/location.) Will gaslight and claim I said I would be back at 1:00pm CST NOT the 1:30Pm agreed on 90 minutes ago, bf I walked out door.
When was 1:29-1:31 I walked in door after crazy am errands. Go straight to basement so I could help. Begins shrieking at me top of her lungs, I’m yo late & to just go away, bc she’s busy doing it all by herself.
It sucks when you are trying, when you wanna keep trying to find what was once lost. Then having to accept that it’s nothing but a memory. That closure will not be possible bc there after few days of defensiveness, gaslighting, & Lies The woman I fell in love with in in their somewhere. Yet, If she would have WANTED to be with me & fix this thing, then her actions would in turn show reflect her willingness to rebuild a once beautiful relationship turn into a pit of quicksand. Harder I fought the faster I sunk. Bc I never noticed I was fighting substantial harder than her. To now, I doubt she’d shed a single tear if I just packed up and walked out. 😢
Guess now’s the time to Work on rebuilding Myself for 9-12months. After that, see if I’m ready to date again. Which TBH, I truly have no desire to date again. If I run across someone being god brought them into my life’. Cool. If not, I’ll get a cabin in woods. A good dog & pile of guns n be happy.
Never date a single mother
Dont tell people to follow YOUR preferences.
Found the single mother ^^^
You're 100% right though. I've been with two women who were cheating on their man. Both baby mamas (as in the dad isn't in the picture). Usually because their man is just a guy they keep around to help provide for her kids.
They might be good moms, but they're not good partners
theres been a situation a few years ago, when he met a collague of mine through his best friend, whos also a collague.
i knew who she was, vaguely( near to 800 of staff in the clinic i work at), but ive never been allowed to visit his best friend with him, because she was always there.
they took motocycle tours, as i havent had my license at that time he refused to take me with them.
after the first tour she started calling and texting him at every day or nighttime.
of course i noticed and confronted him about that behaviour.
he started gaslighting me, thats what i realize today, telling me to grow up, that im childish, that he wont allow me to ruin his platonic relationships (as if their "friendship" was already invaluable after 1 tour). he took his mobile everywhere with him, so i wouldnt notice if she texted again. his response to that: that he wants to prevent me from being upset and oh so childish whenever she texts, that its just friendly and so on.
that one time, when we visited his friend together, his friend told me that shes been there for breakfast and fled when told that i was coming too.
i knew and still know that something was going on, but he never apologized for putting her on a pedestral high above myself or valuing her more than me, even not knowing her very well.
i really think if someone already cheated, he´ll do it again and again and again.
hes a covert narcissist and regularly delves into phases of overly and irrationally criticizing me, word-salading, including slipping insults in between and telling me he never said them,
tells me something about topic a, and whenever i respond adequately to a, he would yell at me " are you dumb? are you insane? i didnt say that!, im talking about b of course!"
for a long time i thought i was a crazy person, buying his gaslighting : that im pudgy or fat, nobody liking or wanting to talk to me, pretending that he had a far better relationship to my mother, father and stepfather, preventing that i would talk about his behaviour to them, telling foreign people who worked on our house that i had a low libido ( which i indeed have due to having hashimotos since i was 10).
countless other things.
and now....getting out
rdmname, it is a good thing that you are getting out.
I hope you are doing much better now?
Much love.
Thank you I know now. And I accept it. I know I’m a catch because every woman I’ve been with wants me in the long run. But doesn’t want to be loyal, in the short run. 😂
I’m currently going through this now. She doesn’t admit it all that she’s cheating. So I decided to seek marriage counseling, I’m a long haul trucker, she’s a CPA for Tony Robbin, a motivational speaking organization. I had informed the counselor that I felt betrayed and hurt because my wife doesn’t give me the time to be intimate when I’m home. That she’s saying she has to take our two children and that she’s tired. But at the same time she admitted that she only works three hours per day at most since she works from home and the rest she free to go shopping and hanging out with her friends. When I’m home I have to check up on my rental properties that I owned. When I used to have her assisted me speaking to the tenants. Than I started to noticed her spending more time with one particular tenant and she even lets him drive our cars. So I told her that I don’t like what I’m seeing that she needs to stop. But she refused to stop. We met with the marriage counselor and informed her the situation. My wife informed the counselor that the male tenant listens to her and tends to her needs and she doesn’t see anything wrong with that. I told her in my opinion it’s inappropriate to be close to this tenant including allowing him to borrow our cars. To my surprised the marriage counselor was also agreeing with my wife, she said “So what if your wife did sleep with your tenant, she just wanted to get rid off her urges! After she satisfies then she still with you, what do you have to lose, youth truck driver what is stressful driving trucks and I’m sure you also have women through the country that you visited!” I told the therapist I disagreed because I’m have two children at home and a wife, I’m a married man and not interested doing such things, and that she needs to not say things that are inappropriate and incorrect. To this very day my wife is still going to see this tenant. I’m now living in my truck and will only go to see my children when I can. My wife still denies what she does is wrong and that even the marriage counselor agrees with her. At this moment I’m waiting two more years when our youngest daughter is a bit older then I will file for divorce. It hurts me every times thinking about it.
The marriage counselor would get his arse kicked for telling my wife that garbage
Long haul driving and a stay at home gf/wife is a recipe for debaucherous behavior. Most women can't be alone for 2 mins without male attention.
That is SO fxxked up! Let me guess, the therapist is a woman? The "sisterhood"... women always support each other's bad behavior, and gives destructive advice, that is why women (statistically) cheat when their friends get divorced or are single... they are social/group thinkers. That therapist should have their license revoked and to be publicly exposed for their bad practices, they aren't supposed to be biased. Women need constant emotional stimulation or they'll get bored and will be more likely to cheat, also, the woman has to always see you as being above her cause they're hypergamous in nature. I'm sorry you're going through this, brother, I've been there, I was married to a pathological narcissist, I had to quickly move far away from her... she doesn't know how lucky she is. Evil person. Stay single and work on yourself, or at least never marry again, women are rewarded by the courts for breaking that contract. 60% of all marriages end in divorce, 80% of divorces are filed by women... let that sink in😬
Leave her
Have you confronted your Tennant about it?
I feel so bad. I was the guy used to cheat. It started so innocently with me flirting casually, and then it very quickly escalated into emotional cheating, seducing each other and then a full on affair.
Her partner confronted her multiple times asking if she was having an affair and she lied about it each time. If only he knew the depths of it. We only had sex once, but God! The sexting, the amount of time we spent together, the amount of intimacy... he would be devastated if he really knew... she was basically my girlfriend for 3 months.
After all that, she just slowly phases me out of her life and slips back into her regular routine with 0 consequences. So unfair. She doesn't deserve to have a caring husband after all the things she did. "None of it meant anything" she says... okay? Sure...
Letem know then!
She always had the "safety net" of her husband, got the high from sneaking/cheating, then was able to return to her "regular life"...Don't worry; she'll probably do it again with someone else, and she will eventually get caught. Karma has a way of working itself out.
You should have told the husband
Anyone that has feelings like this should have anonymously told the husband.. it real shows your a good person. If it felt wrong then you should have told him.
@@arthurgirdwood3466he’s definitely not a good person. People with high integrity don’t get involved with people already in relationships let alone married. It sounds like the only reason he cares now is because she broke things off.
I'm facing a crucial problem right now
Furthermore maybe it's just me once again but the more I get to know my partner the longer we've been together the more interesting they become and the more interested I am in them and being with them
It's not just about dopamine it's not just about excitement and sacs it's about commitment and genuine love for each other if you've got those and you've got everything I've been fortunate enough to have experienced it a couple of times in my life and it is all beyond awesome.
No affair or one night stand even compares in excitement and a dopamine Rush
Or how about when you're inside your lover and it feels different?
Trust your intuition.
Pls do that video you spoke of in the end. I need one so bad.
Which topic? I have about 70 videos covering a ton of similar topics on my channel. I likely already covered it.
@@KristinSnowden a guy I'm seeing after my ex gf and I split, I wonder about him , I don't ask anyone since were both guys I'm too embarrassed, but I get the feeling.
My ex cheated on many times even though he knew that was a deal breaker for me. I do believe he has a personality disorder from all the shit hes put me through this hell. He didnt feel guilty about it at all and is now moving in with the cheatee. He never wanted to fix our problems and said he liked who he is and didn't need to go to therapy that it didnt work before. He will constantly be chasing that dopamine high for ever. He doesn't want to do the work and thinks replacing a partner with a new one will fix him and blame the former partner. Hes in AA supposedly in recovery so addiction is his thing. If he will do it with you...he'll do it to you! Good luck karma is a bitch💔
@@smithwilliams545
Still pushing the commercial.
How many more names are you going to use?
Better that it happened now rather than 5 years down the road. My ex-w is a diagnosed vulnerable narcissist, she said the same thing... "I don't need therapy, I'm perfect, you're the problem!".
Probably NPD.
I do not see it this way at all. As i notice a total ignorance from the woman. If confronted, the conversation does not proceed in any form. The man without having any affair retreats from the family into work a hobby, hiking or whatever other associal activities. The husband does not see any point in continuing the relationship. His children are confused and wonders why he does not like to be with them although the reason for his behavior is the lack of respect and love from his woman. He wants to escape. He does not know if the woman is cheating, but in the end he does not care as he just wants out.
2 things keep me on the straight and narrow #1 I refuse to be that person #2 respect for my partner and if I don't respect her I wouldn't be with her in the first place. I hope she feels the same...she says she does and I haven't caught her doing anything so theres that. A guilty conscience is a suspicious mind?
Wow im amazed this is my partner for sure.
Enough of this story...if there is any doubt...there is no doubt...you give him a final savage brushing and then you show him the door...the end
This is why I cant date women with guy friends orbiting, especially besties. Because its almost like their trying to mess with my perception because you women usually make the subject of that friend off limits. Yall always tend to make it seem like nothing could ever possibly happen with that friend and so any worries at all will be seen as possessiveness. Then leave your man the moment his intuition goes wild over him.
What if you have always suffered from anxiety and paranoia? How can you tell if it's your intuition or just being paranoid again?
I suffer with trust issues and anxiety
That’s why I always encourage group work. Especially when you feel like you’re in a “confusing” or anxiety provoking relationship. Processing what’s going on in your relationship and working through what your instincts are telling you to a group can really help you figure out what’s trauma based and what’s reality.
Please someone tell if they saw a change also in phisycal behavior and how the body feels and acts while intimacy amd "s-x" ? Like a women may feel his private as very cold as ice and also from being very performing to ej----- very very fast. ? Did anyone experience this? Besides all other signs?
My wife is putting this gaslighting on me & my heart is broken.
What do you do in a long distance relationship
You get out of it find someone local
Would you be in a relationship with a women who cheated on her husband when they had 2 children even though they were sleeping in separate beds. ?????
Is a sign that a young female working with my husband she gave me the dirtiest look at me when I went to our shop and was talking to him she did this a couple of times.
As I mention in the beginning of the video, one of the most common signs that your partner may be cheating is when you find your “red flags” going up and you become suspicious of an affair. Your instincts and intuition aren’t 100% accurate but they are definitely a sign that something’s “off” and requires your attention.
I have recently started seeing an escort an I have found that it has improved my relationship with my wife. 13 years ago she decided that she no longer wanted sex. This hurt me greatly and the sadness and loneliness have been overwhelming. I found that I had anger due to her rejection of me. When I started seeing an escort I found a great weight lifted from my heart due to being physically and emotionally close to someone again. I have seen over and over that men look outside their marriage for fulfillment because their wife has abandoned them and they don’t care. So, I feel your logic is somewhat flawed it that you are coming across is that infidelity is always the man’s fault.
I appreciate you sharing some of your story and experience with me and I hear what you’re saying. I was hoping to clarify the following, however, does your wife know that you’re seeing an escort? You report it’s improved your relationship with your wife and it’s helped you manage your feelings of anger and resentment, so I would hope you’ve shared that thought process and experience with your wife. Plus, escorts cost money. Is she aware how much money is going toward this practice? I do not “blame” infidelity on one person or spouse. It’s a choice one makes for various different reasons. However, I struggle watching the trauma of all the lies, sneaking around, and manipulation that often comes with infidelity. If it’s a choice you’re truly comfortable with, then you should be open about it with your wife. The betrayal trauma comes from denying your partner all the information she might need to make the next best choice for herself, her environment, her emotional safety, etc. I appreciate your willingness to share.
Your wife needs hormone treatment.
Can you please explain to me how I can tell if my man is doing the same thing?
Good for you, cheating on your wife.🙄
See the thing that doesn't make sense in what you said is the part where we tend to see a new intriguing person or attraction and we just always get dopamine experience from something new. If this is true why isn't everyone following up on this and why don't we already understand it consciously. You can give a billion understandings to why. The simple answer is always going to be they chose too and they do not know how to love.
Love is not defined by simply being, it is selfless and active in being serving.
If you think you love and seek to escape you don't know love. This in itself is dissonance. So from the beginning this person is not mentally secure in themselves to seek self love.
Cheaters are those who need mental training in emotional intelligence, empathy, and build a individualism being this person lacks self awareness.
Sadly many of them know how to pretend well until thier actions show they are not what they claim to be. These cheaters need help.
Thank you for your videos. I do want to say, that while having an affair is not a moral thing to do, what you did not mention is that many of these people have indeed come to the end of their road with their partner (even though they may love them) after years of trying to make it work, and it does indeed become passionless or loveless, or constant bickering. This causes one partner to be easier to give in to the attention of a new love interest, and the deception comes in because they may truly not wish to hurt their spouse, and they keep staying together because they may have a family with children or own home or business together, many people stay in an unhappy marriage out of insecurities or fears. When the cheater quits the affair and tries to make the marriage work later, they kind of have to rewrite the script back to true love, otherwise if they didn't make themselves believe it, they would still be in a dead marriage, so I don't necessarily think this is dissociation on the cheaters part. If the cheater truly thought the spouse was their soulmate, I don't believe it would have been an option to cheat, a soulmate is someone you are meant to be with, there is a deep knowing and unconditional love with open honesty. So in regards to your cheating client who later claimed his wife was his soulmate was trying to believe in the best case scenario in order to be satisfied in the marriage, most likely because of children.
Hi. Thanks for your comment and input. I cover infidelity and the common catalysts and challenges behind it (and preceding it) on my website www.KristinSnowden.com I discuss a lot of those dynamics you mention. Especially in several of my recent blogs www.kristinsnowden.com/blog
This video is solely for those who suspect their partners are engaged in an affair and they’re just looking for answers.
Kristin Snowden your videos are very well done. You are an excellent speaker. Yes and I am all too aware of the signs of a cheating spouse (my ex husband of 13 years left the children and I for a teenage hooker). It was very painful, however I wish he would have been honest before it ever happened so that we could have peacefully parted ways and avoided all that. Sadly many people stay together long past the point where they are unhappy and no longer connecting. 😢
My ex girlfriend cheated on me was blaming me, it last for one but the person she cheated on me had 5 other girls he passed away two months ago now I suspect my new girlfriend is also cheating how can find out is my gut feeling real please advise
Plot twist. He’s not cheating he’s in a sexless marriage and is tired of being friend zoned.
He cheated once. I think he has a new girlfriend. How often do cheaters reform? I don’t know if it is just me or if he is at it again. Please reply. Surely there are statistics.
It’s very hard to find statistics on infidelity. My clinical experience is that if a “betrayed”/cheater owns what he/she did, is honest about it, can help the betrayed partner heal and work toward rebuilding trust, it’s possible to move forward eventually.
@@KristinSnowden He NEVER EVER OWNED IT. Thank you for your kind reply.
They rarely IF Ever Reform!
If she's cheating or he, he doesn't care. What's the need i'm going to seek counseling four
If my partner got drunk with another man she used to date 20 years ago and got a hotel room with him. Do you think she was cheating?
They were also talking behind my back and she would’ve never told me if I didn’t find the hotel card in her truck months after the incident and a week before we got married.
Just wondering?
It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s how you (and your body) perceived it. Do you feel betrayed? Do you struggle with trusting your partner? Do you find yourself confused a lot in the relationship?
@@KristinSnowden she hid it soo well and I only found out bc I found the hotel card months later a day before we got married. She only told me bc I started digging and I kept asking her. She first lied and said it was her old friend she hung out with which is a female. Yet I knew it was a lie bc they don’t talk anymore.
I don’t trust her at all. I question everything and I feel like I was betrayed especially bc it was someone she dated. Idk why women don’t just make it work with someone they used to date. Idk why women keep men lingering around. The crazy thing is she’s does soo much for me and she’s the bread winner. I don’t get it…
If it is done secretly it is cheating
@@jeremyalcoser5742brother… hotel card… drunk with another man…. She cheated. End it you dummy. Stop falling for the lies bro. Holy….
Do a video on the five signs you should be cheating.
Have you ever tried to get an answer out of one of these lying between narcissist you can't get the answers that's why you search for anyway I'm miserable and I've been through hell and I didn't think it was possible to do any of this
It's been seven months my wife and I are having problems.
I’m sorry to hear your relationship is struggling.
What about signs your partner wants to have an affair?
Do you feel like the signs would be different?
All signs expect one but what do i do? After my wife passed away i found out about a on going text and email affair. I don't know if a physical affair occurred. I'm at a loss for how to deal with it or what to do.
Hi. I’m so sorry for your pain. I created a small group “grief after betrayal” to support people in your situation. A safe space to process the pain and grief and get support from those who’ve gone through similar struggles.
@@KristinSnowden Thank you for your response. Don W.
I wished I watched this video when my ex was cheating on me
You can't see them
You can't see them.
I would not advise going around to friends and family unless you plan on leaving him or her because your allies will turn against them and will never look at them the same again. You are causing a problem and a good reason for your partner to leave you because of the alienation down the road. It is only my opinion
What does it mean when your husband had a tender account and lied to your face saying he never had a Tinder account I know he did because I looked at all of our phone records intenders number came up on the phone record
It sounds like you’re answering your own question. It can be very confusing and debilitating when partners lie (even when direct evidence is presented to show they’re lying). I’d encourage you to join the support groups at WeTonglen and Sexandrelarionshiphealing.com so you can continue to ask these legitimate questions, receive support from others who’ve been through similar situations, and help you with “next steps forward”.
My wife has become totally distant lately.She started going to a massage therapist. The fact is saw a She does do the s30 minute fault in the timeline.Also does the fighting for no reason. If you can help that would be great.
calm voice nice
Talk to a lawyer and hire a pi before you even think if talking with a m ( therapist. She’s not there to protect you. Get divorced, get the evidence, and if you want to get back together, you can try that out. You will not reconcile before you divorce.
They treat you like crap because they are guilty and inside they are ashamed.. Or want to either get you mad and cause a argument to blame shift or they just get off on hurting people and are sadistic in nature...
Real talk proud of you l think the problem with us All is simple cammestry soul mate that's the big 🍒 red flag ❤😅😢🎉🎉😊
The Cure don't get married!😄