Great video. I acknowledge and own everything I did wrong in the relationship with my ex that ultimately led her astray. It destroyed me at first but, I have learned a lot about myself, my mistakes and who I am. I have also learned to love myself flaws and all. But of course I strive to be a better person everyday. I don’t want to be who I was before. I killed that guy. Not sure but, I’m also feeling that I might be happier not being in a relationship. I think I might love me more and the fact that I can come and go as I please and not answer to anyone or go to events that I don’t want to. I don’t say any of this in a bad way. I’m just learning to be realistic with what I really want out of life without letting someone else down again and wasting anyone’s time. I wish everyone currently going through heartbreak the best. It’s a tough road but use it to learn about yourself and how you can better yourself. Love yourself. ❤
Cheers Nick, really good topic because it helps me go further considering my ex as a human being going through hardship. I want her to be happy woth or wihtout me but i am out o the equation now. In contrast, I am in my equation so i am all-in to solve that for good and breathe freely in my life fully whether she comes back or not. Wish you good recovery, and thank you for starting this content sharing, and the fb group also. Shout out from Paris ✊🏾
It's so hard to just get to that point of where you see both of you as "just people" especially if things ended in some crazy way or you feel they've behaved in a bad way towards you etc. I have good days and bad days in terms of this. But it's the best place to be at I think. The whole "who's the bad guy" attitude kept poisoning my brain for the first 2 months and didn't help me feel bettter.
Just the right moment for this video. It's been almost a year, I'm still struggling. 4 years relationship, she just left so easily. I can't do that. Thanks for the video.
Sometimes, actually most of the time you are both incompatible with each other. And when communication breaks down, then one or both of you stop trying. I know I did when my ex wife said that she puts her family as her top priority. I knew there and then that the relationship was broken. Would I call her a narcissist? Maybe, she did do some terrible things such as lying, manipulation, & deceived me towards the end of our 8 year marriage. I played a part in it by choosing to go my own way from the beginning of the relationship and expecting her to follow my footsteps without much thought. And if I had a submissive wife, maybe she would’ve been okay with that, but I didn’t. And yes, her family was more important than even our two children which I have full custody over.. Choose your partners wisely and try not to get smitten by them during the infatuation stage.
Hey Nick, after my ex got an email from her abusive ex boyfriend she started to hang out with people similar to him and in the end monkey branched off of me to a guy that has the same traits and nationality as the abusive guy. What to do now she ruined our entire relationship and is fully ignoring me
I really forced her hand, in the span of a month I created such an emotionally unsafe environment for her. She gave me so many chances to open up, be honest, be vulnerable. But I kept pushing down and aside my boundaries and insecurities till they blew up. A trauma response. I’ve lost her trust and my own respect for losing this relationship, for causing my relationship to end even when my dumper didn’t want it to. Now, I’m just trying to get the help and therapy I need to become the emotionally healthy person I want to be. It feels aimless and like time is passing as slow as a snail but at least I have a direction. Therapy and no contact.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Hey Nick, thanx for the reply! Yeah I know - would be cool if you made one! But still, I wonder about how much BPD deterioration of relationship is same as "regular" because my ex did "mentally check out" at least a year prior to the end of our 8yr relationship, and even though I was the one to break it off - as it felt like a formality by then - she jumped into a new relationship 2 weeks after and moved in with the guy and got engaged within a month. So that's pretty crazy even though she knew the guy a bit from some time ago, but I know I still did do things wrong as well, and she felt like she cannot talk to me or "tried everything" I guess... but for me it too felt like I was at the end of the road as I tried everything.... I still wonder if it had been the same if I were "perfect" if she'd still feel the same and still check out. I felt disconnected from her too, but I wanted to mend things and really cannot imagine getting into another relationship anytime soon - I am a codependent so there is that, working on it though. We are both women also, but I guess I behave more like the guy in the relationship. And I know she didn't feel emotionally ok, but it was a catch 22 - she kept doing same stuff over and over that wasn't going anywhere and draining me and I started responding to her in a way that made her withdraw even more. I really wish I could have done it differently, but I know it probably would not have changed things that were her responsibility.. sigh. I always hoped we would stay each others "safe person" so the break up crushed me, but some things everyone needs to fix on his or her own before they can be in a relationship (that has a future and is healthy).
I thought of this very dumb idea:- Idk if that helps but The technique I’m using to get over my ex is to pretend as if me and him dating were nothing but a hallucination. Because it’s already been 8 months since the breakup and I’m in no contact. I know that healing doesn’t have a timeline I’ve suffered enough, I do feel better than last time but I still can’t get him off my mind and fantasising about him which is pissing me off. If he doesn’t give to Shit about me why should I If the relationship doesn’t mean anything to him why on earth should that mean anything to me I hate how I fantasise about him so Idk if it works ⚠️ *DO NOT* try this method I’m doing it so you guys don’t have to.
I feel ya mate. Just had the same. Every was going great. All over each other like a cheap suit. All good on a Saturday evening. Woke up Sunday morning it was all over. Got the dreaded this ain’t working out text. I just said gutted. Best wishes on your travels, as she’s going travelling for a year soon. Been in no contact since. Coming up to 3 weeks NC. But I’m glad I took it on the chin and didn’t beg. Starting to come out the other side of it now and feel okay.
It would appear she wanted to travel over maintaining a relationship with you. I am sorry to hear that, buddy. It’s a horrible feeling but her saying no to you, means you can say yes to everything else.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I’ve already started putting myself out on the dating apps. Been chatting to a couple of new ladies. So hopefully get a couple of dates in the near future. Just gotta soldier on and make the best of it
No, i wouldnt have left. In our whole relationship i was the one leveling up not him. I was waiting for him to do better and i never let him feel like he wasnt..but i was his cheerleader the whole time. He felt he needed to go back to someone else. So i guess he was emotionally unsafe and insecure.
@TheLoveFix-Nick true, that's something that I know now. I thought that was Love to be there for him no matter what. Through NC , I realize that now. I'm better off by myself to work on me. I appreciate u, ty
Great video. I acknowledge and own everything I did wrong in the relationship with my ex that ultimately led her astray.
It destroyed me at first but, I have learned a lot about myself, my mistakes and who I am. I have also learned to love myself flaws and all. But of course I strive to be a better person everyday. I don’t want to be who I was before. I killed that guy.
Not sure but, I’m also feeling that I might be happier not being in a relationship. I think I might love me more and the fact that I can come and go as I please and not answer to anyone or go to events that I don’t want to. I don’t say any of this in a bad way. I’m just learning to be realistic with what I really want out of life without letting someone else down again and wasting anyone’s time.
I wish everyone currently going through heartbreak the best. It’s a tough road but use it to learn about yourself and how you can better yourself. Love yourself. ❤
Cheers Nick, really good topic because it helps me go further considering my ex as a human being going through hardship. I want her to be happy woth or wihtout me but i am out o the equation now.
In contrast, I am in my equation so i am all-in to solve that for good and breathe freely in my life fully whether she comes back or not.
Wish you good recovery, and thank you for starting this content sharing, and the fb group also.
Shout out from Paris ✊🏾
Thanks buddy, I hope you’re doing well today. 😊
It's so hard to just get to that point of where you see both of you as "just people" especially if things ended in some crazy way or you feel they've behaved in a bad way towards you etc. I have good days and bad days in terms of this. But it's the best place to be at I think. The whole "who's the bad guy" attitude kept poisoning my brain for the first 2 months and didn't help me feel bettter.
Just the right moment for this video. It's been almost a year, I'm still struggling. 4 years relationship, she just left so easily. I can't do that. Thanks for the video.
People don’t leave easily, my friend. Something was broken way before the breakup happened. It’s just the breakup was the final stage of that pain.
Sometimes, actually most of the time you are both incompatible with each other.
And when communication breaks down, then one or both of you stop trying.
I know I did when my ex wife said that she puts her family as her top priority. I knew there and then that the relationship was broken.
Would I call her a narcissist? Maybe, she did do some terrible things such as lying, manipulation, & deceived me towards the end of our 8 year marriage.
I played a part in it by choosing to go my own way from the beginning of the relationship and expecting her to follow my footsteps without much thought.
And if I had a submissive wife, maybe she would’ve been okay with that, but I didn’t. And yes, her family was more important than even our two children which I have full custody over..
Choose your partners wisely and try not to get smitten by them during the infatuation stage.
I have learned my lesson that I have an avoidant attachment style. My therapy is doing well and I feel better with myself than ever before.
Really good information. Thank you very much. Helped me to understand it better.
My pleasure, i hope you’re feeling better today.
Great video as always. Hope you recover quickly.
Thank you. I hope you’re doing well. 😊
Hope you feel better soon, great videos thanks Nick Nick
😊😊💪💪
Hey Nick, after my ex got an email from her abusive ex boyfriend she started to hang out with people similar to him and in the end monkey branched off of me to a guy that has the same traits and nationality as the abusive guy. What to do now she ruined our entire relationship and is fully ignoring me
People will always do what they want to do my friend. This behaviour was always within her.
What to do? You focus on your healing and wish her well.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I uhhh might've have sent her a closure letter but that one came back unopened. So I guess I lost her completely.
You had closure the day she left my friend.
I know that’s brutal but you must focus on you and your healing.
It’s gonna be okay 😊
Brother i am sorry, but this person is for the streets. Stay 💪
Probably you are in a better place right now, cause your comment is 8 months ago
I really forced her hand, in the span of a month I created such an emotionally unsafe environment for her. She gave me so many chances to open up, be honest, be vulnerable. But I kept pushing down and aside my boundaries and insecurities till they blew up. A trauma response. I’ve lost her trust and my own respect for losing this relationship, for causing my relationship to end even when my dumper didn’t want it to.
Now, I’m just trying to get the help and therapy I need to become the emotionally healthy person I want to be. It feels aimless and like time is passing as slow as a snail but at least I have a direction. Therapy and no contact.
How is it going? Did therapy help? Are you two back together?
What about if the ex has a personality disorder like BPD? There was the break down over time, but it wasn't a real before I guess.
BPD is on a whole different level my friend. Probably beyond the scope of this video.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick Hey Nick, thanx for the reply! Yeah I know - would be cool if you made one! But still, I wonder about how much BPD deterioration of relationship is same as "regular" because my ex did "mentally check out" at least a year prior to the end of our 8yr relationship, and even though I was the one to break it off - as it felt like a formality by then - she jumped into a new relationship 2 weeks after and moved in with the guy and got engaged within a month. So that's pretty crazy even though she knew the guy a bit from some time ago, but I know I still did do things wrong as well, and she felt like she cannot talk to me or "tried everything" I guess... but for me it too felt like I was at the end of the road as I tried everything.... I still wonder if it had been the same if I were "perfect" if she'd still feel the same and still check out.
I felt disconnected from her too, but I wanted to mend things and really cannot imagine getting into another relationship anytime soon - I am a codependent so there is that, working on it though. We are both women also, but I guess I behave more like the guy in the relationship. And I know she didn't feel emotionally ok, but it was a catch 22 - she kept doing same stuff over and over that wasn't going anywhere and draining me and I started responding to her in a way that made her withdraw even more. I really wish I could have done it differently, but I know it probably would not have changed things that were her responsibility.. sigh. I always hoped we would stay each others "safe person" so the break up crushed me, but some things everyone needs to fix on his or her own before they can be in a relationship (that has a future and is healthy).
Yeah, I hear you man. It’s never easy.
An ex of mine with BPD told me that she rebounded twice after we stopped seeing each other.
I thought of this very dumb idea:-
Idk if that helps but
The technique I’m using to get over my ex is to pretend as if me and him dating were nothing but a hallucination.
Because it’s already been 8 months since the breakup and I’m in no contact. I know that healing doesn’t have a timeline I’ve suffered enough, I do feel better than last time but I still can’t get him off my mind and fantasising about him which is pissing me off.
If he doesn’t give to Shit about me why should I
If the relationship doesn’t mean anything to him why on earth should that mean anything to me
I hate how I fantasise about him so Idk if it works
⚠️ *DO NOT* try this method
I’m doing it so you guys don’t have to.
What if it was only a 3-4 months relationship? Even if it was very intensive and we started being a couple almost immediatily
The end result is still the same. Something stopped working for them.
I feel ya mate. Just had the same. Every was going great. All over each other like a cheap suit. All good on a Saturday evening. Woke up Sunday morning it was all over.
Got the dreaded this ain’t working out text.
I just said gutted. Best wishes on your travels, as she’s going travelling for a year soon.
Been in no contact since. Coming up to 3 weeks NC.
But I’m glad I took it on the chin and didn’t beg. Starting to come out the other side of it now and feel okay.
It would appear she wanted to travel over maintaining a relationship with you. I am sorry to hear that, buddy. It’s a horrible feeling but her saying no to you, means you can say yes to everything else.
@@TheLoveFix-Nick I’ve already started putting myself out on the dating apps. Been chatting to a couple of new ladies. So hopefully get a couple of dates in the near future. Just gotta soldier on and make the best of it
No, i wouldnt have left. In our whole relationship i was the one leveling up not him. I was waiting for him to do better and i never let him feel like he wasnt..but i was his cheerleader the whole time. He felt he needed to go back to someone else. So i guess he was emotionally unsafe and insecure.
If you were levelling up as you say, then why wait around for someone clearly not on your level?
That’s on you my friend, not him.
@TheLoveFix-Nick true, that's something that I know now. I thought that was Love to be there for him no matter what. Through NC , I realize that now. I'm better off by myself to work on me. I appreciate u, ty
I hope you’re doing better. 😊
Yeah. Atleast they already prepared for thebreakup ,thats fcknsh!t
No one is prepared for a breakup, my friend.
It’s hardly ever someone’s first choice.