THESE Are 2 BREAKUP Reasons that NO CONTACT will NEVER FIX (The SAD Truth)‼️

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  • Опубликовано: 20 дек 2024

Комментарии • 212

  • @BeatsbyZay
    @BeatsbyZay 10 месяцев назад +171

    This was my relationship to a tee. She told me she wanted to be single and experience life and not be tied down. She felt like she was losing herself with me. She immediately went into clubbing 3 times a week and smoking weed and drinking a lot. Even got a job as a bottle/hookah girl. Stuff we never did. This is her true self. Even the guy she's dealing with is super suprising to me. Im indifferent and can never go back after seeing how her lifestyle changed so fast. Different values.

    • @Jonavon100
      @Jonavon100 10 месяцев назад +9

      💯 same boat I had too man up and let that boat sail and sink alone I absolutely can do better

    • @BeatsbyZay
      @BeatsbyZay 10 месяцев назад +9

      ​@@Jonavon100You absolutely can brother and you will. I know it sucks and love doesn't just fade but we gotta love ourselves more. Only up from here.

    • @Mads4tahoe
      @Mads4tahoe 10 месяцев назад +7

      Funny, he told me the same thing. He told me all he wanted was to be single, snowboard and hang out with his friends. I told him I hope you enjoy it to the fullest extent and that you’re happy with your life decisions at the end of each day. As I type, he has been gone for a week on our snowboarding trip in Tahoe… but what can you do when you’re with a guy for almost 5 years and he starts calling another women he works with a pet name, wants to meet up with her for coffee and give her a bottle of wine for referring his business and then flirting and talking to an 18 year old at his gym cause he has “football” in common with her!? Tried to communicate how I felt and how it looks and instead of taking any sort of responsibility he got up and broke up with me before Christmas, New Years, our trip and our anniversary. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @bobbyjr2161
      @bobbyjr2161 10 месяцев назад +3

      My ex told me same thing we got a kid together i took care of everything the entire time we was together only one worked she recently broke up with me but snucked away about it saying she moving in with her friend for 2 months to get paid for baby sitting and her mom a get her a vehicle and she go drive it back it been two weeks then confessed how she tired of the relationship once she left..won't even talk to me regarding the kid or so I can video chat my kid ( they moved 4 hours and a half away) she told me I did nothing for her or are child but im the only one working,providing and paying the bills..then called not even asking but DEMANDING half my tax money she haven't worked so she dont even got a w2..I told her no but I'll give her something and send her money everytime I get paid for are child...I'm pretty sure she getting loose...she may try to come back eventually or maybe not I won't take her back regardless bc she was just a bill but I didn't mind bc I had genuine love for her and I'm a go getter..I can't take her back bc I can't even stomach another guy digging up in her and letting her come back and lay under me after that i really may not even give her nothing and just send stuff for the kid ..left me but still want to gain from me... I'm only 23

    • @BeatsbyZay
      @BeatsbyZay 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@Mads4tahoeSorry to hear that. My relationship ended before the holidays as well. Grass is never greener so just know that he'll be back. Just gotta try your best to move on. It's what im doing. You deserve better.

  • @marshallstrander3922
    @marshallstrander3922 10 месяцев назад +118

    Almost 3 months into no contact here. It gets better, but I wouldn’t say you move on from it or “heal” unless the relationship was truly meant to be over… More than anything, you get a better since of clarity and you simply just learn to live with it. I was the one dumped and I still think about her every single day, hoping for that call back. But I’ve grown in other areas of my life during this time which I’m proud of. You will too. Keep your head up!

    • @DeepEnd-sm3uw
      @DeepEnd-sm3uw 10 месяцев назад +6

      Brooo I'm 3month in as of February after a 11yr split up. Braaa idk where to start. It's a roller coaster, like she got me with mixed feelings. PLUS WE HAVE A 11YR old son son

    • @kimsanders8262
      @kimsanders8262 10 месяцев назад +1

      I feel you, that happened to me as well.

    • @scorpion8669
      @scorpion8669 10 месяцев назад +3

      Same thing happened here. thank you for the info and encouragement!

    • @derekenlow7607
      @derekenlow7607 6 месяцев назад +1

      Update?

    • @marshallstrander3922
      @marshallstrander3922 6 месяцев назад

      @@derekenlow7607 It’s been a little over 6 months now. We’re still broken up and have been in no contact since the start, but things are finally getting a lot better for me mentally. Not that time has made me “heal”, but I’ve gained a whole new sense of clarity and peace that I hope and pray you guys get too. Here are a couple of quotes that have helped me:
      1. “People don’t abandon the people they love.” - Time has really helped gain back my self respect with this one. If someone chose to abandon you, how can you really convince yourself that they were the one?
      2. “You were too busy finding faults in me while I was overlooking yours” - Consider that maybe you deserve the love that you give others.
      Keep on keeping on 👊

  • @IvanMesser-o5s
    @IvanMesser-o5s 8 месяцев назад +20

    Excellent story about scorpion and frog! The moral of the story: regardless how "charming and beautiful" evil can look like or feel like, it is always harmful in the end.

    • @Freudster21
      @Freudster21 6 месяцев назад

      Kind of, but it’s really more so about evil beings won’t go against their true nature, even if it’s to their own detriment and against their own interests to act in accordance with their nature.

  • @taghazoutmoon5031
    @taghazoutmoon5031 10 месяцев назад +41

    He's always made me feel not good enough. I was a doormat for years. Then I got angry and resentful. Once I started complaining and setting boundaries, he became distant and broke up

    • @mariefricchione437
      @mariefricchione437 8 месяцев назад +7

      Wrong guy for you! Simple as that. Find the right guy for . You’ll recognize him!

  • @mvpfireant5188
    @mvpfireant5188 9 месяцев назад +23

    I gotta admit that I was nervous to watch this one. But it actually gave me more hope. Both of these things I feel like were strengths of my relationship, we just lost our touch at some point. I believe with the work I’ve done on myself we can get it back and stronger. Trusting in no contact for now

    • @SoLuiPi
      @SoLuiPi 6 месяцев назад

      did it work out?

    • @mvpfireant5188
      @mvpfireant5188 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@SoLuiPi not yet, but I took my power and sense of self worth back. It’s only been 3 months so there’s a possibility I could see her again but I’d need a major apology in order to take her back. Just recently started dating and focusing on people who make me feel good about myself and it’s helped a lot

    • @Teejaywrld
      @Teejaywrld 6 месяцев назад

      @@mvpfireant5188same I genuinely have a gut feeling like that aswell. Rn im just working on my self and prioritizing myself. If the tine comes and i see she did the work herself then yeah. But if she comes back realizing the grass wasn’t greener then no

    • @saint1t1t1
      @saint1t1t1 Месяц назад

      @@mvpfireant5188 update ?

  • @rosemaryodiakosa
    @rosemaryodiakosa 10 месяцев назад +64

    I changed because I love you is a scam.
    People will never change for you unless they want the change for themselves as self growth.
    Remember this guys Self love can never hurt you.

    • @demigod5913
      @demigod5913 10 месяцев назад +5

      Big completely true, I have changed a lot while in a relationship before and it wasn't for me, good day by the way

    • @demigod5913
      @demigod5913 10 месяцев назад +1

      Good day. We could be friends, yea?

    • @rosemaryodiakosa
      @rosemaryodiakosa 10 месяцев назад

      @@demigod5913 Yes we can 🙂

    • @kristieamacker
      @kristieamacker 10 месяцев назад +2

      Self love is the key and yes words are meaningless without action to back it up.

    • @userxpu6mb5ke3n
      @userxpu6mb5ke3n 10 месяцев назад

      I changed for someone in they left me people will change

  • @Arcange93iam
    @Arcange93iam 10 месяцев назад +68

    God can change character, if as humans we can never change then we have no purpose being here... cheating is a moral flaw often esteeming from hidden traumas etc.. Theres hope for everyone, God Saves and redeems, He turns darkness into light and changes the hearts of those the world would Condemn.... John 3:16-17......
    I speak as an instrument of His grace, from someone who use to cheat, God has changed my mind and gave me a new heart, a heart that now beats for His glory and the betterment of His Kingdom..
    Whoever will ever tell you God can't get hold of people, Look them in the eyes and say " Satan, the Lord Rebukes You "👋🏾

    • @GodlyTransformation256
      @GodlyTransformation256 6 месяцев назад +1

      Thanks for sharing this …u hv blessed me

    • @charlesdial7152
      @charlesdial7152 5 месяцев назад +1

      thanks for this statement I needed to hear that 🙌

    • @mzyotruthnlove8263
      @mzyotruthnlove8263 4 месяца назад +3

      The person has to want to change and allow The Most High to work in his or her life.

    • @lemostjoyousrenegade
      @lemostjoyousrenegade Месяц назад

      @@mzyotruthnlove8263 THIS! ...the most accurate. People have to be sick and tired of their own BS - their utterly dysfunctional, harmful behaviors and delusions. They have to stop letting their egos/pain bodies run their lives and to do that, they first have to BE STILL (so many won't).

  • @cinnamongyrl7253
    @cinnamongyrl7253 10 месяцев назад +32

    My breakup has been devastating but necessary!! I'm not sure if we will reconcile. After a month of no contact, he did reach out and we met and talked but one of the things he mentioned was decisions/values that he has issues with. I see now what he means. Sometimes, people you surround yourself with may not be conducive to a healthy relationship. Toxic people can put a stain on you without you realizing it. We tend to make allowances because of the time of acquaintances but they may not necessarily be healthy.

  • @lionell247
    @lionell247 10 месяцев назад +19

    I wanted to thank coach blac I did no contact, I didn’t ignore her but didn’t make ur dictate my response speed when she text me play it cool was extremely respectful when I did see her but didn’t prolong conversations. She initially started talking to somebody else, but realized that she still want to be with me. She reached out saying that she wants to try to fix thingsbut I gave her my expectations on starting over, taking it slow and not rushing into the but I gave her my expectations on starting over, taking it slow and not rushing into the same relationship.

    • @HakunaMatataNoCap
      @HakunaMatataNoCap 10 месяцев назад +2

      Hopefully mines comes around like yours day one day

    • @lionell247
      @lionell247 10 месяцев назад +4

      @@HakunaMatataNoCap You need to change and grow yourself or it will end up the same. True change so you both don’t make the same mistakes I’m fortunate that I realized what I did wrong as well as what she did(she recognized her own faults) and we will be actively working towards a healthier and happier relationship. Listen to coach watch all of his videos it helped me a ton.

    • @bandoek2612
      @bandoek2612 10 месяцев назад

      @@lionell247 change how bro I mean if I lack emotion I do I work on that

  • @dariusharris3252
    @dariusharris3252 10 месяцев назад +8

    It's just tough that's all imma say especially healing or tryna heal from someone u really love

  • @ganjasauruslit
    @ganjasauruslit 9 месяцев назад +11

    Damn it the scorpion and the frog got me. Hindsight is 20/20 and my relationship with my wife lasted almost ten years and now it feels like she's been unfaithful to me for almost those entire 10 years. It's a soul crushing realization, specially when I was always being faithful to her no matter what because I truly loved her and I couldn't imagine putting her through what I've been through myself before.
    This pain of betrayal is excruciating. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. To anyone going through a heart break, remember that this hell that we are going through will not last forever. Better days always come, but in the meantime we have to work on ourselves to be ready for when those good days come.

  • @nickehren3292
    @nickehren3292 10 месяцев назад +16

    So during the NO CONTACT PERIOD, u need to build up yourself again. Make him feel that u are worth n even better after he leaves u. And when he comes back n you still love the guy, then go for it. I believes that love is sweeter the second time around!

    • @wilted_rose510
      @wilted_rose510 10 месяцев назад +5

      I wish that were true

    • @hamnatahir4536
      @hamnatahir4536 3 месяца назад +1

      He gave him the second chance and it was worst ever thing

  • @angelawalker7582
    @angelawalker7582 10 месяцев назад +6

    The scorpion and the frog resonated with me very much. I come to realize it his character. Definitely need a one one with you, I need clarity on relationship period. Havent had any luck at all.

  • @riskalphatrading
    @riskalphatrading 9 месяцев назад +2

    Absolutelty good advice. Thank you. Noted: - Values and Priorities are important (values are things you love to do), both need to be able to share their values without getting judged - character: a cheater is like the scorpion that will sting you and eventually drown your relationship once you were back together, and you have to think twice if you want this - need someone who is actually not willing to hurt you

  • @mightymom1691
    @mightymom1691 10 месяцев назад +8

    Wow!! Sooo powerful!
    My ex and I continue struggled since DAY 2 with BOTH VALUE differences ( my career vs his retirement as well as adult Kids relations ) while SIMULTANEOUSLY (unbelievably) dealing with SEVERE verbal and emotional abuse to the point of a Domestic Harassment Injunction! I am finally free , no contact but for HEALING PURPOSES only, and , hoping his love bombing x10 doesn’t make me break after he misses me !! I’m not going back! Thank you for this VERY HELPFUL video answering the forever question of .. WHY??? I got it ! Values & Character! Done !

  • @assplundah
    @assplundah 10 месяцев назад +25

    Good analogy, but often you only find out they’re a scorpion once they’ve already stung you & you’re already halfway across the river.

    • @TruSwen93
      @TruSwen93 10 месяцев назад +2

      very well said my friend.

    • @Kb11466
      @Kb11466 10 месяцев назад +1

      I’ve only realised this after some clarity and about 3 weeks of no contact - after some research she precisely fit the bill of a narcissist. Was amazing at first then very slowly began to break me down till I basically wasn’t even myself anymore. Feel so much better now
      She’s gone, thank god

    • @assplundah
      @assplundah 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@Kb11466
      Hang in there mate, it’s been 2 years since I was discarded like a one-off tinder date & whilst my logical brain can see she was an absolute c#*t to me, I still remember all of those highs as well. It’s not easy to get over them.

  • @jenniferrivera3908
    @jenniferrivera3908 10 месяцев назад +2

    Wow that was a good example about the frog and Scorpion. No contact can be a good thing. Shows you, how much do you care about the person. Makes you think is it fixable if they reach out.

  • @WhatsThePoint01
    @WhatsThePoint01 9 месяцев назад +3

    I needed this man in my college years. 💙

  • @bipbop7231
    @bipbop7231 10 месяцев назад +15

    Heyy Coach. Love your stories, but especially your teachings. You know what you’re talking about. Thank you for what you do.✌️🫂

  • @raaj1287
    @raaj1287 14 дней назад

    Really needed to listen to this. And weigh it strongly.

  • @brandonrobertkersjes
    @brandonrobertkersjes 2 месяца назад +2

    That first example was somewhat similar to me and my ex, but she only went out like once a week or once every two weeks. She valued money above anything else though, as her family was pretty rich and she had daddy’s money with 0 accountability. So she was always traveling on her parents dime and I wasn’t able to do that as my family wasn’t rich.

  • @brandonrobertkersjes
    @brandonrobertkersjes 2 месяца назад +3

    Partying should be a phase, not a lifestyle.

  • @evacuevas5506
    @evacuevas5506 10 месяцев назад +4

    Was meant to hear this video, broke up today again with a manipulator, thank you so much for your work and dedication.

    • @demigod5913
      @demigod5913 10 месяцев назад

      Hope you are doing okay?

    • @evacuevas5506
      @evacuevas5506 10 месяцев назад

      @demigod5913 thank you, I'm doing much better.

    • @demigod5913
      @demigod5913 10 месяцев назад

      @@evacuevas5506 I would love to be friends, what's your mail?

  • @LL-rk5lv
    @LL-rk5lv 10 месяцев назад +11

    That description that I chased him it was exactly what happened but then he told that he didn’t feel emotional or intellectually connected to me and the pain I am feeling it’s unbearable

    • @KindTiffany
      @KindTiffany 10 месяцев назад +5

      I prayed to break the soul tie. I did this daily until I was free. There's nothing too hard for God.❤

    • @ririsharon4652
      @ririsharon4652 10 месяцев назад +2

      I think that's what happened with my ex. Though he didn't exactly say that, he gave me stupid excuses for leaving. He said he wants a future with me but after breakup I asked him why he refused to go on a trip with me? He blamed me saying that I would end up arguing with him and he wouldn't know what to do. Everything was okay. One day we had a fight and he asked for space. After a week I reached out asking what's going on in his mind. He said he wants to breakup. I'm more upset because he was the one who approached me first even though I wasn't interested in him at all. He put efforts so I decided to give him a chance. As soon as he knew I fell for him hard his behaviour towards me changed. He left me then came back then left me again.

    • @G2daG
      @G2daG 10 месяцев назад +6

      When you can change your heart from thinking he's on a pedestal and there's nothing better than him, you'll start to change your heart and feel better. There's 8 billion ppl in this world to that 1. He's just not all that.

    • @LL-rk5lv
      @LL-rk5lv 10 месяцев назад

      @@G2daG I joined an app I had 1500 interested in me in a week. I couldn’t date anyone, he is a CEO for 2 companies, a professor with a phd in biochemistry nanotechnology

    • @LL-rk5lv
      @LL-rk5lv 10 месяцев назад

      @@G2daG I truly liked him. I felt like I found someone with the qualities I wanted and that’s not often, especially for me, I rarely get interested in anyone but he is smart, and sweet and very serious and educated so formal, I am writing about him and I smiling remembering every detail.

  • @mightymom1691
    @mightymom1691 10 месяцев назад +4

    Thanks!

  • @asdfgsf9660
    @asdfgsf9660 10 месяцев назад +6

    Great video! In my situation it was both a huge difference in values and character. The only thing we had that kept us together was attraction and chemistry which can only go so far. Nevertheless it hurt and took us a while to realize that and heal.

    • @LL-rk5lv
      @LL-rk5lv 10 месяцев назад

      For how long did you dated? People nowadays don’t get to know each other. I recently fell in love with someone and he told me the same and the truth is that his perception of me was very limited, he never opened up to me or gave himself a chance to know me better but put on his head an idea of who I am that is far from the truth. But I will not try to convince him of worth or force him to see my value. I am professional, beautiful, smart, I have a great heart, honest, committed and if he couldn’t see it?

  • @genevievemiranda5185
    @genevievemiranda5185 10 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for the coaching session today. I'm truly grateful for your advice and insight. I will keep you posted. You took your time with me and I felt heard. God bless you 🙏

  • @TheStaceyyang
    @TheStaceyyang 10 месяцев назад +3

    always another great day when a new video is released. Thanks for sharing with us and providing us another view.
    Much love

  • @chrystal790
    @chrystal790 7 месяцев назад +2

    Me and my ex were together for 4.5 years, he broke up with me a month and a half ago. we are really different in values and personality. I know it is better that we are not together but I still can’t help but want him. He told me he still love me as well and we are still hanging out and spending some nights together and doing everything regular couples will do. I know it is not healthy but that’s the only way I can keep my days going. I feel like a drug addict being able to function properly and even achieve things in life as long as I get my “fix” periodically.

    • @ginadileno8378
      @ginadileno8378 6 месяцев назад +1

      Because when you break up your body has the same reaction as a drug addiction. It’s biological, do some research and you will find this .

  • @mabelmabel1797
    @mabelmabel1797 7 месяцев назад +3

    My man just ended the relationship base on how huge my expectations are that he's is not ready for that

  • @ericn5857
    @ericn5857 9 месяцев назад

    I like the little metaphorical stories you throw in there all the time

  • @TruthAddiction1975
    @TruthAddiction1975 10 месяцев назад +11

    I got a 3rd one.... when there an alcoholic. No contact aint fixin that

  • @lenaluz2794
    @lenaluz2794 10 месяцев назад +2

    Omg!!!! I never felt safe sharing or talking about my past or sax because he would judge and analyze. Thats closed off intimacy towards him for me. I never felt like I could be myself.

  • @lynncarlson1543
    @lynncarlson1543 10 месяцев назад +1

    I agree!! EXCELLENT EXCELLENT Coaching!! My situation is a little different because there's addiction but I Love Listening and Learning!! Keep bringing it!! So enlightening, comforting & encouraging!!!

  • @mimiwillms3920
    @mimiwillms3920 10 месяцев назад +9

    My ex didn’t respect what I wanted to do with my life. He felt I should buy a house I can’t afford instead of taking my money to make money. After the break up he said that was the stupidest thing he has ever heard of. He decided to buy a condo when he already be struggling financially .Well he can go on with his 350k mortgage and in a couple of years I’ll be building mine cash. Love to see him
    Then and prove to him who the stupid one is

    • @camden336
      @camden336 10 месяцев назад +1

      Your actually doing the right thing, no need to dig a financial hole for yourself.

  • @NNV337
    @NNV337 10 месяцев назад

    Great video and analysis 💯 Very well explained 👌 Thank you for being a guiding light ❤

  • @ashleygarza2028
    @ashleygarza2028 10 месяцев назад +1

    This is really really great and I’m glad I saw your video because this is what I believe as well it was just hard to come into my thought with words and you did just that for me

    • @demigod5913
      @demigod5913 10 месяцев назад

      You really think so?

  • @oumougnaissa5915
    @oumougnaissa5915 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks for your advice

  • @ShawnPatrickMoriarty
    @ShawnPatrickMoriarty 10 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for clarifying about about relationships and getting your ex back. I have Tried to rationalize with him and ask them what's wrong? But I really don't think he is attracted to me in the same way anymore as he was. He's very Promiscuous and mischievous You never really came out with the truth. I had to figure out all out my own which makes me absolute crazy. So I don't know how I'm gonna just guess. I have to just let it go. Let him go and have the idea that will never be back together again. So thanks Still very sad about the whole situation , though the memories that I Share with him will always be in my heart. And I'm still very emotional after 14 months. Not be with him I don't know what to do!!😎🎶♥️🙏✨️

  • @thatcringegirl007
    @thatcringegirl007 6 месяцев назад +1

    My relationship of 5 years ended 3 weeks ago. For background he is 32 and I am 52 (w/ 2 kids - tweens from previous relationship). He said we are in different places. I am settled with career, house and children) and he is still figuring it out. I went NC from the day he ended things with the exception of sending a thank you card to his mom-she was like a grandmother to the kids and I need to say thank you…did not reference ex or our break up. It’s been 3 weeks and I am now torn was to whether I want him back or not. I am not sure if given our age gap I should give up all together. Until the breakup he was my rock and now he is a stranger. I will continue NC but wondering if you see this as a sceario that NC can not fix

    • @askquestions1236
      @askquestions1236 2 месяца назад

      My x is younger too. I never had children and can't now. He secretly started a long distance relationship behind my back 2 years ago because he wants to have kids. I found out by accident 3 months ago. He kept contacting me and telling me I am his best friend and wanting to continue as best friends. We've been seeing each other and talking daily and would almost seem like nothing changed but I can't do it. he was sending me mixed signals but he wants kids and marriage. I had to tell him I can't. 12 years we were together and it can't be fixed. he was my person. I know he loved me but I get it.

  • @helenan866
    @helenan866 10 месяцев назад +2

    Sad reality check for me 💔💔

  • @jessemyalvanosgr6370
    @jessemyalvanosgr6370 8 месяцев назад

    Beautiful video
    Thank you coach
    Even though I know I will never get back with him
    I stay true to your videos they have helped me sooo much all the way in understanding relationships
    Character doesnt change
    A little bit yes in whole never
    We never had issues no fights
    Everything smooth
    But character
    He cherishes being alone
    I cherish together
    Went different ways
    I ll always hurt but I know I have to moove foward
    Thank you coach for being there for me!!!!!

  • @LILSLEEPY81
    @LILSLEEPY81 10 месяцев назад +2

    I need work on my character. I'm so scarred and hurt from previous relationships that I've built up walls and bad ways of reacting to things and im having trouble breaking out if it and staying there. I'm tired of myself too but I'm determined to change

    • @BennySa-w4k
      @BennySa-w4k 4 месяца назад

      This is more common than you think. This was one of the biggest factors of my my relationship ending with my gf just recently. Both of us were insecure and afraid based on our previous relationships so when we would argue we would fight and be stubborn, neither one wants to look weak but in reality we’re both just scared.

  • @faracharles8285
    @faracharles8285 10 месяцев назад +2

    I'm in a situationship not sure what to do. Need your feedback

    • @ItsMeCourtney
      @ItsMeCourtney 8 месяцев назад +1

      1. Lay out EXACTLY what you want.
      2. Give him an opportunity to make changes. I personally give 30 days.
      3. During those times continue to give feedback on what you want
      4. After 30 days if you still see no effort don’t say a WORD (you’ve said enough) block and go no contact.
      They will either come find you or leave you alone. You win either way in the end.

  • @Lexo593
    @Lexo593 10 месяцев назад +2

    Thanks Coach Blac. What if I neglected and took my ex for granted? Should I use no contact?

  • @PurpleReels
    @PurpleReels 5 месяцев назад

    The Scorpion and The frog!! Wow! That is an excellent story and wow...! Ha!

  • @Teegee1387
    @Teegee1387 10 месяцев назад

    This was a good one!

  • @TheMisssy2
    @TheMisssy2 10 месяцев назад +1

    I have to let go because both of them fit.

  • @foreveryoursunconditionally
    @foreveryoursunconditionally 10 месяцев назад +3

    I was with someone recently, we couldnt be together because hes avoidant but also because his family would never accept me because they are Pakistani.
    He kept going hot and cold, always making meetings and never showing up. I had enough and he kept messsging me during no contact.
    I had enough and told him to do one. Now hes the one crying and saying I'm overreacting. I would have not been able to be in this position if I didnt do the no contact. ❤
    Thanks to your videos im in a better placr.

    • @SMBBBBxx
      @SMBBBBxx 10 месяцев назад

      Me too.. he was Pakistani and I knew his family wouldn’t accept me even though he promised to marry me. I’m so heartbroken. Feels like I’ll never find someone like him again… but there’s always better…
      Hope you are recovering well.

  • @didrajohnson1195
    @didrajohnson1195 5 месяцев назад +1

    People make concessions for someone they want? Conditional love

  • @depressing_reap969
    @depressing_reap969 10 месяцев назад +2

    It's like I sit here watching these get your ex back videos and it's like. I know you probably really care for them and would do anything and I'm like
    Yo, that's wild. I don't

  • @Palomavenetto
    @Palomavenetto 10 месяцев назад

    Very important thing the part about the personality.

  • @DanielleBlaqueraBeauty
    @DanielleBlaqueraBeauty 7 месяцев назад

    Could you dive into this topic more and the importance of having self worth to walk away from someone who’s cheated on you then broke up with you because you didn’t trust them anymore 😅 (later found out he has cheated in every relationship)

  • @ritadoran5039
    @ritadoran5039 10 месяцев назад +1

    Different values wants and dreams are deal breakers traditional meets cyber world game over

  • @UniCorn274
    @UniCorn274 10 месяцев назад +1

    I broke up with my ex because he didn’t show me any love in a month. When we broke up he told me that he doesn’t feel the same for me that he used to, so I said okey and I left. On one hand I want no contact to attract him back to me but on the other hand I don’t want someone who’s not able to love me properly. I don’t think he would’ve broken up with me. He would’ve just stayed with me waiting for his feelings to come back but I’m not doing that. Does no contact work if I’m the one that left?

  • @Colorado303Adventures
    @Colorado303Adventures 10 месяцев назад +2

    I dont care if its Toxic( she cheated on me and I like legal weed and she doesnt) 3 year relationship, she moved to be 4 houses down from me and ruined it all. I still would take her back but she would have to lose the guy she cheated on me with. She declined so now im 1week and 2 days no contact. It sucks.

    • @Colorado303Adventures
      @Colorado303Adventures 7 месяцев назад

      And she had sex with the dude so I'm done, only looking for friendship though I told her I thought she was disgusting after and that I'd never date her again and any future girls that want commitment will have to delete all guys on their phone and until then I plan to have a rotation of girls to love and hangout with lol. Forget my ex, done forever. She got mad and blocked me. She couldn't handle the truth of me calling out her cheating and lies. Couldn't even come up with a response back just left because she knows I'm right about all her bs. She is so gross to me now having some other dudes dick in her. She even tried to flirt and f me after she had sex with him a day before. She's such a slut now and I'm not wanting that in my life. Need more loyal girls. My ex is not even a contender for my future going forward.

  • @AndyAvila-hg5by
    @AndyAvila-hg5by 10 месяцев назад +2

    Dear Coach,
    It’s Andy from a couple weeks ago January 19th with the 6 year on and off relationship I need some advice anyway you can squeeze in a call tonight? I’d really appreciate it
    Sincerely,
    Andy

  • @emmamalasabas-di4sk
    @emmamalasabas-di4sk 10 месяцев назад

    Brilliant❤

  • @MohammedAli-ki4ny
    @MohammedAli-ki4ny 2 месяца назад

    Hi coach hope you’re doing well. Please how can I get in touch with you please 🙏

  • @aquafina6544
    @aquafina6544 10 месяцев назад +1

    Ok coach black..i was with someone i loved with my everything for 13yr he took a new job asked me to wait and never came back. Stopped talking textn responding and show his new person in my face. Hes younger and his new person was younger than him. They were messy and started crap with me but im wayvto mature and classy to respond. I didnt understand what happened. Long story short 10 yrs go by and we have didn't see or hear from one another. We had a great relationship.now on xmas of 2k23 he calls after i sent merry Xmas then just shows up and talks calls responds daily we even spend some time together he makes plans for us and promise to share time.Then he just all of a sudden he just stopped talking and responding which sent me into a begging for explanation and i realize i gotta go nc bcus i don't want to get my heart broken again. It took yrs and a sickness that lasted yrs possibly à broken heart.
    I just dont understand why he couldn't just say hello long time. Reflect and go on he is obviously with someone so why rile things up knowing he doesn't want me bcus if he did id be his girl but i wasnt even considered.
    I guess i asking wht you think all this means.

  • @ifeomaeucharia8404
    @ifeomaeucharia8404 10 месяцев назад +1

    My ex broke up with me because he said that our spirit did not connect.. what will i do

  • @Jrshowuncensored1
    @Jrshowuncensored1 10 месяцев назад +2

    What if she answers my phone calls and still texts me back like gives me attention after she blocks me what that mean ?

    • @YoungandenjoyingLife
      @YoungandenjoyingLife 8 месяцев назад

      The same goes for me I don’t understand it

    • @Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387
      @Jewel_Screaming_Chango8387 6 месяцев назад

      Mines does that to claims she doesn’t wana be with anyone and just take care of her kids but she gets jealous if other women show me attention

    • @BennySa-w4k
      @BennySa-w4k 4 месяца назад

      How is she answering your calls and texts if she blocked you? Regardless, there’s a chance she’s waiting to see if something changes, or you’re just the remedy to her loneliness while she looks for someone else.

  • @AmirZ1
    @AmirZ1 10 месяцев назад +1

    Broke up on Sunday, told me to get out the house, I said alright cool. Her ex bf was always stalking her etc, once I ssid I will speak to him, she got very defensive he has a boy with his baby mama, not my girl, she was like I don't want his kid to be without a dad and suffer without one, I was like that's your choice and not your responsibility, met on Sunday night bc she left her keys in my car and I said come collect it made her travel 250 miles to come collect, started waving at me like nothing happened and said are you OK, literally kept it nonchalant and gave the keys and walked away back to my car. She hadn't blocked me on anything at all on socials, she views my story but I already went on other dates and posted them 🔥🔥... was only together for 3 months, ive been in no contact for 9 days straight now, i aint vieweing her stories at all.. any opinion on this

    • @camden336
      @camden336 10 месяцев назад

      Forget her, and live your life.

    • @AmirZ1
      @AmirZ1 10 месяцев назад +1

      @@camden336 I am

  • @jurider1
    @jurider1 10 месяцев назад

    Never thought I would be going through this in my 50s
    Basically we were together when we were teenagers and met up 37 years
    Later ! That was 18 months ago he’s ghosted me before for 3
    Months and then again 2
    Months ago he’s definitely an avoidant I’ve learnt so much never to old ❤ I know he wants to be with me but is
    Scared 😟 I’m just getting on with it now I have broken no contact and he reads it and doesn’t reply 🤦‍♀️ this is mental ! I’m leaving him to it now
    Any way thank you so much ❤✌️

    • @deedeebrecca8645
      @deedeebrecca8645 10 месяцев назад +1

      It hurts, but he probably has a girlfriend.

  • @supernova8817
    @supernova8817 10 месяцев назад

    Coach i need you to reply please
    We were in a relationship for 14 years.
    She had a bad childhood and daddy issues and marriage was never an option for her.
    She wanted me to move on because i was more inclined towards a building a family.
    We broke up two weeks ago and when i asked we could fix all the things she said that thisnis past repair.
    She never cheated in 14 years and prior to break up we were in a 2 month no contact.
    Now to justify the break up she said she is seeing somebody since 7 months and showed her texts to him. She also said that she spoke to her mom about getting married to him. Her mom was against to our relationship since the beginning and i am not sure even today if she ever agreed to it.
    I relate don't want to dig in if she really is in a relationship or not but feom what i know her she is never that person.
    Probably she thought lying about cheating could break my heart and will make me move on.
    What to do

  • @ajnishanth
    @ajnishanth 10 месяцев назад

    I was in a long distance relationship with her. For a year we have met twice and gone on vacation. She loves going out on parties with her friends. I had questioned her two or three when she had gone out with her guy friends couple of times. She had an office party last Christmas she was standing next to a guy in a group picture i got trigged and confronted her. She said i am toxic and dont respect women. She told me doesn't want to be a relationship she wants to be friends. Is there anyway to get her back? Do you think she will take me back ?

    • @JD317
      @JD317 10 месяцев назад +1

      Ngl bro you shouldn’t want her back.

    • @rainbowstalin594
      @rainbowstalin594 7 месяцев назад

      Yea long distance hahaha, been there done that.
      Was in long distance with this girl she was very pretty amazing body. but promiscuous and all around the type of chick you wouldn't want to date, met her on discord too so you can imagine... anyhow fast forward through lotta drama and history we got together was quite ok but in hindsight been with a person like her online no less was a dumb idea, anyhow she cheated was flirting around on some server and had some private dms with some guy. and what would yk the moment i found out suddenly i'm the 2nd coming of Christ and this and that, she did lotta crazy shit too like threw her phone out of the car just all around mental shit. (her friend texted me and told me this too)
      Anyways after weeks of her begging me and again saying i was the best thing since slice bread unfortunately i too her back, months passed i can say it wasn't too bad minus the insane amounts of arguing we did which tbf lot of it was my fault i'm ngl, we recently broke up like last month because of another argument, looking back i just couldn't accept her past it all came down to that. i wanted her back badly at first then after she told me some bat shit crazy stuff after which i told her to leave me alone, missed her days later texted her but was too late at that point, she was gone. i spoke to her like a week later and what would you know she already had 2 separate guys she was chatting to and had sent some pictures too lol, went back to being a hoe on discord as well.
      Lotta wall of text but whoever cared enough to read this: moral of the story is people don't really change, this girl told me she changed her ways etc but soon as we break up she's back to doing shit like that instantly, i still miss her a lot but i'm realizing i miss more so the version of her than her actually, idk it is a weird feeling but that's how it is ig.
      Don't do long distance folks.

  • @Chloeeee2215
    @Chloeeee2215 10 месяцев назад

    Coach blac, what if we originally broke up because of differences in core values but then I told him that I’m willing to compromise and make a change on my end but he still didn’t want to get back together. Will no contact work? 🙏🙏

    • @camden336
      @camden336 10 месяцев назад +1

      It's because he believes you won't compromise/change. It's not a easy thing to do if all you know is what you know.

  • @Mari-wc6jo
    @Mari-wc6jo 8 месяцев назад

    No commitment until they run off and marry your best friend!

  • @oemamira
    @oemamira 10 месяцев назад +1

    Dear Coach
    I have reached out to my ex after 4 weeks NO Contact but he doesn’t answer or react to me and I am still blocked
    ( Reason he didnt value me, i bought a PlayStation for his Son and he didn’t thank me and i asked him if I can get his key of his house if we are trust each other i want to switch keys, but he reject and I picked up the PlayStation with me and than we get in NO contact )
    What to do ?

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  10 месяцев назад

      You can’t keep breaking no contact

    • @movingsaudade6028
      @movingsaudade6028 10 месяцев назад

      You also cant just count 30 days and break NC.

    • @oemamira
      @oemamira 10 месяцев назад

      @@blacademic
      What do I have to do now ?
      Can i solve this problem now i have breaking NO contact?

    • @honeybee498
      @honeybee498 10 месяцев назад +2

      Most importantly, if you gave his son a Playstation, you should have never taken it back. That is considered a gift legally and morally. So, there really was no reason to contact your ex.

    • @cinnamongyrl7253
      @cinnamongyrl7253 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@honeybee498I think the reason this happens is because people change. The point of no contact is a chance to get yourself together, grow and focus on yourself. If you and the ex get back together, you may have changed to the point of realizing you no longer desire them. No contact can be a gift and a curse just depends on what you want and what you do with yourself during the no contact period.

  • @TheIKrushalot
    @TheIKrushalot 10 месяцев назад +3

    I’ve been no contact for 3 years…think she is coming back? 😂

  • @Insatiable_keker
    @Insatiable_keker 3 месяца назад

    What if she left me because she lost the feelings because of the distance?

  • @Droppy_cateyes
    @Droppy_cateyes 10 месяцев назад

    My ex left me because he said I had “no respect and people say I’m weird” does that affect my chances of getting back and staying with my ex after no contact?

    • @angelicfaithh2664
      @angelicfaithh2664 10 месяцев назад +2

      If he’s entertaining conversations with people who think low of you, he doesn’t deserve you! I know it hurts, I just had a breakup two days ago but it’s necessary to move on.

    • @Droppy_cateyes
      @Droppy_cateyes 10 месяцев назад

      @@angelicfaithh2664 Thank you so much for the recommendation! I hope the best for you and hopefully you move on!😊

  • @ncairguner
    @ncairguner 10 месяцев назад

    My ex is bipolar. Does no contact works on bipolar people ?

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz 9 месяцев назад +2

      Yes. But more because it makes you see clearly that you will have a HUGE project on your hands with this mental illness.

  • @ivanbenkovic610
    @ivanbenkovic610 10 месяцев назад

    So, a girl i was together with for 5 years, told me that she needs someone from their own religion (she is protestant), do you think that this can be fixed? Because, I mean, she didn't mind it for 5 years!

  • @monfungprecious3806
    @monfungprecious3806 10 месяцев назад

    He has been trying to reach out to me, telling my friends how he misses me, should i give him attention?

  • @JussiMoyyo
    @JussiMoyyo 6 месяцев назад

    No contact rule will not work in my situation, or maybe my approach of getting her back is wrong

  • @Cheeseandpopcorncrunch1
    @Cheeseandpopcorncrunch1 10 месяцев назад

    It's been a month and she has blocked me everywhere.. I want to contact her but it's hard to make a move ..
    What shall I do next ??

  • @ET0071
    @ET0071 9 месяцев назад

    Does a true values difference mean they will never return or can’t people’s values change overtime?

    • @NanaOfFive5
      @NanaOfFive5 5 месяцев назад

      If they want to change.

  • @Goodluckbuddy1408
    @Goodluckbuddy1408 10 месяцев назад

    I haven’t lived with my wife for going on 2 months now.. we would talk and kiss every couple weeks. Even talked about reconciliation. However, she hasn’t texted or called me in 4 days. She is always giving me the hot and cold treatment. My question is, she hasn’t texted and called for 4 days, should I follow through with no contact? I’m just so confused. Thank you in advance to anyone who replies. I can also provide further insight if needed.

  • @Ivy89261
    @Ivy89261 10 месяцев назад

    I guess thats it for my hope. We have so many differend views about life. He wanted to work and become a doctor.He said i cant help him and he doesn't see
    a future with me cause i have health issus and arent allowed to work much. Im not stupid, i still try to do new thinks and make money but he says he has no respekt for me..after almost 7 years togehter and a child...😢....i still love him and want him back. Is there a chance if i work harder?

  • @Cunnm1
    @Cunnm1 10 месяцев назад

    My x recently broke up with me. They would text me randomly, am i ok. Now that has stopped and they only send me a snapchat pix every 24h. I believe it's to keep the streak. I'm currently in no contact. Should I let the snapchat streak end?

  • @CaltonCoachingCPT
    @CaltonCoachingCPT 10 месяцев назад

    Do you want to pursue no contact if you technically have not broken up you’re on a break?

  • @theophilusgyamfi8569
    @theophilusgyamfi8569 10 месяцев назад

    My girlfriend broke up with me because I talked about her attitude just last week and told me she is going to her ex because her ex will not comment on her attitude 😢

  • @izdark8733
    @izdark8733 6 месяцев назад

    5:25

  • @UniversoSpiritualUnido
    @UniversoSpiritualUnido 10 месяцев назад +3

    Why would you wanna be back with an X they are an x! For a reason. Get moving

  • @violetlily8
    @violetlily8 3 месяца назад

    What if their value is never having full time work? After age 40..... OK BYEEEEE

  • @joycecorwell848
    @joycecorwell848 10 месяцев назад

    I don't want my ex I don't want anyone because most say the same crap I want a good women blah blah blah an waist your time so I don't want love because I don't excist

  • @nemethgloria3497
    @nemethgloria3497 10 месяцев назад

    Should I post on IG during no contact?

    • @azazel3944
      @azazel3944 10 месяцев назад

      no dont post nothing

    • @nemethgloria3497
      @nemethgloria3497 10 месяцев назад

      @@azazel3944 thank you. I posted 4 stories since after the first week of NC but now ill stop posting then

    • @angelicfaithh2664
      @angelicfaithh2664 10 месяцев назад

      You can but if they like/comment don’t respond.

  • @christianthomas5636
    @christianthomas5636 10 месяцев назад

    💜💜💜

  • @Jess-wk5jo
    @Jess-wk5jo 10 месяцев назад +1

    Hello is it turth that Not every affair involves sex. ARE still affair or do people need sex for affair or cheating to happen ur not .
    Can people have affair and cheat on someone without never never having no sex?

    • @johnsmith1034
      @johnsmith1034 10 месяцев назад

      Yes, you can emotionally cheat

  • @KaevaliSaint
    @KaevaliSaint 8 месяцев назад

    What happens when the person uses God as an excuse to make things difficult, cause I feel like that’s what I was going through .

  • @movingsaudade6028
    @movingsaudade6028 10 месяцев назад +1

    Not sure if we should be listening to the coaches who swear by the NC idea or not..One minute we must go no contact the next minute no contact won't work😂😂Great video though ❤❤ What i understand from this video is that NC may work but that doesn't mean you will have the relationship you actually want to have.

    • @blacademic
      @blacademic  10 месяцев назад +10

      I will always stand by the effectiveness of NO Contact. That is because it works VERY well for bringing an ex back. This is not about no contact not working to raise attraction. It is about the long term sustainability of the relationship. The cases don’t happen often but when I talk to someone who seems to have different values from their EX. I ALWAYS tell them, NO Contact may bring your ex back but it doesn’t seem likely that the underlying reason can be fixed by no contact. This is more about staying together vs just getting an EX back

    • @Cozy_coupe
      @Cozy_coupe 10 месяцев назад

      @@blacademicplease coach I need help
      My ex wife left me and got into a new relationship a few days later within a few weeks they had gotten a place together and now it’s been 2 months and she is pregnant she and I have two children together I don’t know how to feel after hearing this news she has told me she still misses me but like I said she is now pregnant and I don’t know if there’s any chance of her and I being together again

    • @movingsaudade6028
      @movingsaudade6028 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@blacademic I understand you.Indeed what will be the point of getting an ex back just to break up again later. Which seems to be happening a lot.I have many times seen in the comment section were people got their ex back after 5 months,6 months,8 months of no contact but only to breaknit off shortly thereafter.

    • @CatwalkPurz
      @CatwalkPurz 10 месяцев назад

      @@movingsaudade6028which means the work was not done, while apart.

  • @Kb11466
    @Kb11466 10 месяцев назад

    My relationship was actually pretty good, but she moved way into her masculine. She also joined the Police and became more controlling and boring. 100% different values, I was very damaged by the breakup but she was totally right to do it, we really didn’t work together very well. Also after some research, there
    Was definitely some narcissism at play

  • @hollywood2177
    @hollywood2177 3 месяца назад

    Guys I want everyone to look at these comments… women aren’t loyal long term.. love is a powerful addiction in the attention seeking world we live in now. Be single or not you know the outcome of both. Stay woke fellas & always take care of yourself/mental health ✊🏼 without us these women ain’t shit remember that (;

  • @izdark8733
    @izdark8733 6 месяцев назад

    6:22