I love this reminder of mirroring even 30% of the time. My little girl was crying and my little boy was laughing, because he squirted water in her face, so I mirrored her emotion and connected with her, and then I mirrored his emotion (silliness) and redirected him to squirt water in a different direction and they were both smiling within literal seconds and I’m a better mom today because of this advice
My entire life I felt that my mom was very harsh, critical, & distant. I never felt close or warm with her. 4 years ago I started my inner work journey & I feel that I resented her so strongly in the past 4 years than ever, & today, she is my best friend. I truly healed & forgave her finally, & knew in seeing herself as a human & woman, instead of resenting her for the past, things would change. They did, & I feel very safe & close to her now which I believe would be impossible considering her nature over all these years. There are always possibilities for growth, but the change starts with you.
"Follow your gut" to me just translates to "Follow that anxious feeling in your stomach", and I've found that in trying to listen to that "gut feeling" so many people talk about is just me enabling my OCD compulsions. My body is hardwired for anxiety thanks to the mother wound + cptsd
It's easy to say when your mum was busy that you understand she was not there for you. But it gets more complicated when she was there for the other silblings and emotionally neglected you, for whatever reason. My mum did many bad things to me that I can't forget and even if I put myself in her shoes, I still can't understand how you can treat a beautiful child like this. It was pure evil. I am not going to forgive and my feelings are valid.
Finally mother wound is talked about it’s always the romanticized daddy issues (I have both) but from my experience mother issues are the deepest cut you can ever get cause if your mother didn’t loved you unconditionally who’s gonna …
My mom never admits it when my kids are too much for her. The evidence is obvious, she gets snappy and frustrated, she gets stompy and bitter, and she gets so obviously annoyed by their presence that sometimes I have to walk away to cry. But when I ask her if she is ready for space, or if I tell my kids grandma doesn’t want us around right now, she will object like hearing and knowing that is going to hurt them. She has no clue how much that contradictory message hurts for a kid. “I want you here but I’m going to be annoyed and frustrated at you.” It’s so triggering for me, because my own childhood was that way. It would have hurt so much less if she had just told me that sometimes people need time and space to themselves. And that she loves me when I’m with her and when I’m not. So as much as it bothers her, I always let my kids know, out loud, that grandma needs space right now. We will come back when she is ready for us
You're videos have completely changed my life, I'm in a much better headspace because of you, I've watched many youtubers and you are by far the one that's impacted my life the most and changed my whole perspective on everything, thank you from a fellow Australian 🥰
My mother broke me!!!! I am now thirty and although I strive to never be a victim of my past….it has been a tough journey of depression and self hate. I destroyed my own life thanks to my childhood issues that I didn’t know how to process.
It's never too late. I think the most important is that you don't want to be a victim. I met my partner when he was 42 - I know that he was far from the person he is today when he was 30. He had a tough childhood. He managed to get through by using and abusing certain things, and then ended up with someone who felt comfortable for his mother wound. I met him as a strond and authentic person, yet his mother wound was/is very much with us. What I want to say with this - healing is not linear, probably never complete and might be slow but if you know well you don't want to be victim and you are there for yourself you are capable of so, so much. Hang in there!
I’m 71 my mother is 96 - I’ve never had her approval or emotional availability and I’m beginning to think she has always been jealous of me - yes it’s complex but I’ve had enough- and yes it’s hard - but hey ho - ever onward x
You listing the Mother wound: Me. Me. Me. Yup, me. Ouch. Me. God - yes. Me. My mother hasn't been in my life for 10+ years. I tell well-intentioned idiots - it's not the alcoholic I cannot forgive, it is the sober woman who never took accountability. Who lied about me to friends and family. The works. I have two daughters, 10 and 4. It TERRIFIES me how this festering wound will effect them. I love them both so much and pour into their lives in so many ways. Yet - eventually I know they will see the depths of my pain. How could they not? Thank you for this video, Margarita.
I got screamed at and gaslighted from childhood on I blocked her this yr. She went off on my for not giving her money,and asking a question. I refuse to deal with the toxicity anymore in my early 30s.I didn’t get heart palpitations this time I was firm in my decision.
I fixed my mother wound by reintegration with my mother. But the occasion was definitely divinely guided! It was during a horrible conflict that was going on in my marriage. That conflict was a blessing in disguise. And just one conversation with my mother on why I expect my husband to understand me and he fails to do that. That one conversation was so divinely guided. Filled that void that I was trying to fill through my husband. We both decided to be there for each other’s emotional understanding. Always staying at a distance from my mother all my life, at the age of 36, today we’re the closest two people on Earth. And suddenly I don’t feel the need for attunement and emotional understanding from my husband that much. But mind you, you can’t do integration with the mother, if you’re still bitter at her, it can only be done from the place of total empathy.
I genuinely do feel like I’ve become a stronger, more self confident and boundaried woman since discovering your content. Thank you for the mentorship ❤
I really love that you always remind your viewers of their mothers’ humanness. My mother was also a single mom (working three jobs with no financial or physical help from my dad), and my childhood was very difficult. It wasn’t easy for my mom… trying to support us, to be a mother, be a woman, be an individual, and experience all the ups and downs of life and real emotions that come with that. But her childhood was worse, and her mother’s even worse than that. I have a sister who puts so much blame on our mother (yet our absent father gets adoration for occasionally calling from out of the country to say hi) that it only ends up hurting both of them more than ever. 💔 I’m now a single mom myself. I’m always caught between: 1) that fear and pressure of knowing “every single thing you do as their mom will determine every single thing they do/feel as an adult” and, 2) “no one is perfect, and you need to love yourself and allow room for mistakes.” Will my children allow me room for mistakes when they’re older? I don’t know. But I hope so, and I try my best.
Just have an open ear for them when they need it. Don't do like their worries or pain don't exist or tell them it'll go away by ignoring slash not speaking about it. Had that myself and now I can "proudly" say I recognize myself in Margaritas list of signs.
Thank you for this comment . I have a lot of empathy for my mom and the awful experiences she endured as a child despite how coldly she has usually treated me. I can only hope my child will show me as much grace when he is my age although I strive to parent completely differently than my mom.
This is so hard! Long story short, I cut contact with my mother for a good 6 years and about a year ago after a long personal journey I reached out to my mother and asked her to tell me her story and it's probably the best thing I've ever done in my life. I am so happy I allowed myself to give her the space to open up, we're building a safe relationship now and it's helped me heal so much pain. Letting go of anger and disappointment and allowing others to be human is very freeing.
My mom is a narcissist and has criticized me my entire life. I was the scapegoat so she took all her anger and hate out on me and I just sat there and absorb it all. I’m still healing but dealing with so much pain and abandonment issues due to her never choosing her kids but working all the time and then growing us up in a violent abusive household with my dad. She acts like we should just move on from the past and not feel anything.
I hope that I'm not overstepping or offensive with this response: Let it go. Move onward and upward. With as much love and compassion as you can muster towards her and the situation. She was doing the best she could with what she knew and she wasn't/isn't mentally aware enough or strong enough to do better. For background my mother was extremely male centric at the expense of her kids, throughout my childhood, and I am noticing now in my 40s that she's a covert narcissist. On top of those things religious zealots who were not walking in the love and joy of God but we're instead critical and bitter, permeated our lives which made things that much more confusing for me for quite a while. Your time and attention are valuable and releasing ASAP is your gift to yourself and will propell you on your healing journey. Take your control back. Best wishes!
Gonna share part of my story (maybe someone can relate and feel less alone) My mother has always been overly protective. She used to stop me playing outside with the other kids until i was a teenager and she never let me go abroad. Even now as a 26 year old she keeps worrying about me going abroad for the new year. She keeps sending me articles of things about the country and keeps telling me old stereotypes of the people from the country to try to scare me from going. Even going as far as telling me the plane could crash and its gonna harm me being on the plane. She used to say to me "you know what your dads like and you will challenge him" when he used to abuse me as a child. These days she seems to think my partner is just like my abusive father and my grate aunt's husbad when he is nothing like those people at all. She doesnt really know my partner (he refuses to have anything to do with her) and seems to have a negative complex about these things. One minute she wants to help me when i need her help with life stuff (like any adult in their twenties) and then the next she is like "well you chose to move in with your partner so you dont need my help anymore". She thinks she is a bad mother because im not codependent on her anymore. She sees my dependency on her as a reflection of her worth as a mother. She is black and white and keeps switching between the two. Its so confusing. It runs deeper than this though. Im healing and learning to create emotional boundaries because i love my mother and dont want her out of my life. She does white lie quite often and gets critical but thats why im creating boundaries. Its a journey for sure.
My entire life my mother was not around. For the first few years she had my grandmother babysit me as much as possible. She left my dad when i was 5 and i saw her about once a year after that. I remember when i was a kids being silenced. I was told i talked too much. That i should just sit and be quiet.
I didn't know this was a thing. But I just found this content and it spot on describes my relationship with my mom. It's never been close. She's always competing with me. She's 82 and I'm 61 and I'm her caretaker now. It sucks because I love her but I want to get away from her. If I don't live with her in her house and she couldn't live by herself because of her mobility issues. I would never put a parent in a facility, so ill stick it out as long as i can. I wish i could learn how to have a conflict free relationship with her😢
I knew I had the father wound but had no idea I also had the mother wound my mum was also a single mother and I felt like I had to grow up fairly quick and taking on responsibilities that I didn’t need to. I got married four years ago and only now being a mother having been with a narcissist being physical abusive I thought I knew how to stand with my boundaries but I really didn’t. Having now left the marriage I’m really trying to figure myself out and work on my own trauma. I’ve learnt so much just from watching your videos and when I do I feel like I can take on the world. Thank for being sucha gem 💎❤
My mother has been struggling with schizophrenia and maniac bipolar disorder all my life. She was "well" functioning when I was younger up until like 10 years old. It was difficult navigating childhood because one minute she was sweet and embracing and the next she would be having these violently abusive outbrusts. It used to terrify me and my siblings and before her diagnosis we didn't fully have a understanding of what was wrong with her, it would just be us constantly blaming ourselves and each other for her behaviour. The older I got the more low functioning she became and absent she was. And now at 22 years old I feel I'll never get the version of my mother I once knew back, she's a shell of her old self, barely coherent and the illness really took a toll on her. I feel even with the physical abuse and verbal torment nothing was more difficult to cope with then her motherly absence.
My mother was pretty cold but not because she didn’t love us, because my dad was a wreck less alcoholic & she didn’t have the energy or patience for us unfortunately ☹️☹️☹️ I’m forgiving it though
My mother frowned at me when I was upset about something. She would also say that I was causing fuss unnecessarily. At 45 now, I still have attachment issues with her.
Love love love! Can you make a video about how to get in tune with your gut feeling more?? Amazing content Margarita! Thank you for all your support and love on this channel.
Mi mamá y yo jamás nos hemos entendido del todo, por circunstancias ella no pudo estar muy presente en mi infancia temprana, desde recién nacida prácticamente, eso siento que nos afectó mucho, conforme fui creciendo sufrí de alienación parental y mi relación con la madre se puso peor, me ignoraba semanas, me agredia verbalmente, era tan crítica, tan fría, tan cruel conmigo que mucho tiempo pensé que no me amaba. A comparación de mi hermano a quien cuido desde recién nacido, lo apoyo siempre, siempre recalcó que a él lo amaba con su alma y siempre me sentí desplazada por mi mamá. Crecí y desarrollé un rencor horrible a esta mujer, pero empezó mi pubertad y ella arrepentida de cómo fue la infancia comenzó a prestarme atención, amor incluso, era incómodo para mí, porque yo estaba siempre a la defensiva con ella, hasta la fecha no puedo bajar la guardia totalmente, siempre creí que iba a agredirme verbalmente, la perdoné como pude o eso intento y aunque ahora ya han mejorado considerablemente las cosas, sigo siendo atacada con la ley del hielo, críticas a mi físico y personalidad siempre, pero me invade una culpa odiarla, no puedo odiarla, lloro de la culpa, ella me provee económicamente y me da culpa llegar a ser grosera con ella porque al final de cuentas ella me mata el hambre, pero siento que solo nos soportamos por culpa, ella tiene culpa de cómo fue conmigo cuando yo era muy pequeña y yo tengo culpa porque sé que soy una mala hija una interesada incluso, es mi madre pero no sé qué hacer, siempre estamos en un círculo vicioso de hacernos daño, estoy consciente que yo no soy una victima que también soy dura con ella y le eh dicho cosas tan hirientes, pero estoy hasta la madre de estar así, pronto seré mayor de edad y no sé a dónde quiero llevar mi vida con la relación que tengo con esta mujer. solo quería escribir lo que sentía porque me lleva toda la vida carcomiendo la cabeza, tengo tantas trabas que aunque trato de mejorar, a veces solo me gustaría no tenerlas, no tener que pasar por este proceso.
Your videos have helped me so much, I came across attachment theory through one of your videos and started reading Attached and the other books you have recommended and it completely is changing my life for the better and have started to heal, thank you so much ❤️❤️
Just started following your channel and it’s amazing. I went from feeling depressed to feel like there is hope. Thank you! Can you please do a podcast on confident communication?
Margarita could you do a video on how to stay in your feminine energy when you’re going through something difficult? I totally understand the principle however when going through something difficult that may span a few months, how would a feminine energy woman deal with that with boundaries, being honest to herself and also still attractive to a man?
I would like a video where you explain the differences between a narcissist and an avoidant. I have been really struggling to differentiate between the two and I'm at the point where if he's a narcissist I'm leaving, but if he's avoidant I will try and make things work. He ticks 7/10 of the narcissist "boxes" (none of them to the extreme) and all of the avoidant ones. I lean on the side of an anxious attachment style, not massively, but enough to cause issues (long distance doesn't help). I want to know what I am dealing with in order to make my next move. Thank you for your videos 😊
❤this video so much! Btw I did email with the book preorder (27th May) the support email bounced so I resent to the Info one. Hadn’t heard back just yet but imagine there’s a bit of backlog maybe xx
I live in US and would love a paper copy of your book but the Amazon link only give an option for audiobook or kindle! Please let me know I have the audiobook coming but would love a physical copy! Your RUclips videos changed my life ❤
OH MY GOD! I JUST REMEMBERED YOU WHILE JOURNALING BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE POSTED SINCE IT'S BEEN A FEW DAYS AND YOU POSTED THIS. i was waiting for this one because i think earlier you posted this but it was removed, so excited to watch it
Can the Mother Wound come from a father where the energy dynamic in the home was flip flopped? The mother functioning mostly in the masculine energy and the father in the feminine?
How to survive with a narcissistic mother? I am struggling right now so much. She's taking important decisions of my life. She doesn't want me to continue my study and lock me up in a room all the time.
If she is narcisstic it is quite logical she profits out of you being weak or dependent.. Study girl, *secure yourself*, please. Find a secure job and have your life in your own hands❤
how about father wound please? And could u also make video about living with an abusive household but u cant move out yet. Im currently 17. Idk what to do bc they made me so dependent on them until now. Buying something for myself requires them to over explain myself
Excellent. And its worth looking into this , without blaming , as you said Moms did therir best, what the were able to at that time. I always looked at my fathers role in my life more because he left when i was 11, only recently did i look at my mothers role and it was eye opening. Thank you for picking up the sublect and for your sound advise as always. I will preorder your book, one for me one for my daughter. Will you adress the fatherwound too? It would be much appreciated. Thank you
My mom loves me and is always there for me as she knows how and none of my other siblings are like me which I believe is anxious attachment so what does that mean?.
Any films or series recs for mom's life or parents life because idk what having present parents feels like I've been neglected as a child my whole life
I am 30 . She still criticise me . Throw bad words to me . At the same time she is full of good words towards my sister. How can i overcome from the wound she is giving me every single day .. she make fun of me infront of others
Everyone gives great advice but noone seems to know how to solve it, i don't agree with your solutions . The best solution is loving yourself whenever you thrash yourself. It's your inner child approval. Also what tv shows are you talking about and perfect mother's ? As kids we want love and attention not bcos we saw it on a tv show. If your mom didn't give you attention it creates a deep void within of feeling unloved always. The ways to overcome it properly is creating healthy relationships as an adult , where you give love not just expect attention.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
"You're an extreme empath, but you don't feel your own feelings or your gut feelings". This is so fucking true!
God i'm just coming to terms with this myself now at therapy... wow so so true and validating
@@msgooner13 yes! Me too! I was always trying to help my friends with their problems
I love this reminder of mirroring even 30% of the time. My little girl was crying and my little boy was laughing, because he squirted water in her face, so I mirrored her emotion and connected with her, and then I mirrored his emotion (silliness) and redirected him to squirt water in a different direction and they were both smiling within literal seconds and I’m a better mom today because of this advice
My entire life I felt that my mom was very harsh, critical, & distant. I never felt close or warm with her. 4 years ago I started my inner work journey & I feel that I resented her so strongly in the past 4 years than ever, & today, she is my best friend. I truly healed & forgave her finally, & knew in seeing herself as a human & woman, instead of resenting her for the past, things would change. They did, & I feel very safe & close to her now which I believe would be impossible considering her nature over all these years. There are always possibilities for growth, but the change starts with you.
Wow! That’s truly wonderful and remarkable journey. I’m happy for you both. This is what the world needs. Love and forgiveness. ❤❤❤👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@@Tia7890 🙏🏼 Thank you
This is beautiful and gives me hope for my relationship with my mother ❤ thank you for sharing and I’m super happy for the both of you!
That is beautiful, I'm so happy for you. This is truly inspiring and I really hope I get there someday soon with my mother too
Please make the video on the Father Wound!
We are waiting for the video about father wound, dear Margarita! ❤ Thank you for all the content.
😂oh yes plzzzz i have daddyy issues too
"Follow your gut" to me just translates to "Follow that anxious feeling in your stomach", and I've found that in trying to listen to that "gut feeling" so many people talk about is just me enabling my OCD compulsions. My body is hardwired for anxiety thanks to the mother wound + cptsd
It's easy to say when your mum was busy that you understand she was not there for you. But it gets more complicated when she was there for the other silblings and emotionally neglected you, for whatever reason. My mum did many bad things to me that I can't forget and even if I put myself in her shoes, I still can't understand how you can treat a beautiful child like this. It was pure evil. I am not going to forgive and my feelings are valid.
I'm a Muslim and I'm genuinely sending prayers your way, Margarita. To you and your children. Thank you for existing for us!
❤️❤️
Finally mother wound is talked about it’s always the romanticized daddy issues (I have both) but from my experience mother issues are the deepest cut you can ever get cause if your mother didn’t loved you unconditionally who’s gonna …
My mom never admits it when my kids are too much for her. The evidence is obvious, she gets snappy and frustrated, she gets stompy and bitter, and she gets so obviously annoyed by their presence that sometimes I have to walk away to cry. But when I ask her if she is ready for space, or if I tell my kids grandma doesn’t want us around right now, she will object like hearing and knowing that is going to hurt them. She has no clue how much that contradictory message hurts for a kid. “I want you here but I’m going to be annoyed and frustrated at you.” It’s so triggering for me, because my own childhood was that way. It would have hurt so much less if she had just told me that sometimes people need time and space to themselves. And that she loves me when I’m with her and when I’m not.
So as much as it bothers her, I always let my kids know, out loud, that grandma needs space right now. We will come back when she is ready for us
You are healing generational trauma ❤ I’m proud of you and I just know your kids are grateful for you
You're videos have completely changed my life, I'm in a much better headspace because of you, I've watched many youtubers and you are by far the one that's impacted my life the most and changed my whole perspective on everything, thank you from a fellow Australian 🥰
My mother broke me!!!!
I am now thirty and although I strive to never be a victim of my past….it has been a tough journey of depression and self hate. I destroyed my own life thanks to my childhood issues that I didn’t know how to process.
It's never too late. I think the most important is that you don't want to be a victim. I met my partner when he was 42 - I know that he was far from the person he is today when he was 30. He had a tough childhood. He managed to get through by using and abusing certain things, and then ended up with someone who felt comfortable for his mother wound. I met him as a strond and authentic person, yet his mother wound was/is very much with us. What I want to say with this - healing is not linear, probably never complete and might be slow but if you know well you don't want to be victim and you are there for yourself you are capable of so, so much. Hang in there!
عزيزتي 🫂💞
كل الحب كل القوة إلى روحك افهم شعورك انا كذلك كرهت نفسي لأن امي كرهتني لأني اشبه والدي الذي تخلى عنا وهرب
I’m 71 my mother is 96 - I’ve never had her approval or emotional availability and I’m beginning to think she has always been jealous of me - yes it’s complex but I’ve had enough- and yes it’s hard - but hey ho - ever onward x
You listing the Mother wound:
Me. Me. Me. Yup, me. Ouch. Me. God - yes. Me.
My mother hasn't been in my life for 10+ years. I tell well-intentioned idiots - it's not the alcoholic I cannot forgive, it is the sober woman who never took accountability. Who lied about me to friends and family. The works.
I have two daughters, 10 and 4. It TERRIFIES me how this festering wound will effect them. I love them both so much and pour into their lives in so many ways. Yet - eventually I know they will see the depths of my pain. How could they not?
Thank you for this video, Margarita.
I got screamed at and gaslighted from childhood on I blocked her this yr. She went off on my for not giving her money,and asking a question. I refuse to deal with the toxicity anymore in my early 30s.I didn’t get heart palpitations this time I was firm in my decision.
I fixed my mother wound by reintegration with my mother. But the occasion was definitely divinely guided! It was during a horrible conflict that was going on in my marriage. That conflict was a blessing in disguise. And just one conversation with my mother on why I expect my husband to understand me and he fails to do that. That one conversation was so divinely guided. Filled that void that I was trying to fill through my husband. We both decided to be there for each other’s emotional understanding. Always staying at a distance from my mother all my life, at the age of 36, today we’re the closest two people on Earth. And suddenly I don’t feel the need for attunement and emotional understanding from my husband that much. But mind you, you can’t do integration with the mother, if you’re still bitter at her, it can only be done from the place of total empathy.
I genuinely do feel like I’ve become a stronger, more self confident and boundaried woman since discovering your content. Thank you for the mentorship ❤
I really love that you always remind your viewers of their mothers’ humanness.
My mother was also a single mom (working three jobs with no financial or physical help from my dad), and my childhood was very difficult.
It wasn’t easy for my mom… trying to support us, to be a mother, be a woman, be an individual, and experience all the ups and downs of life and real emotions that come with that.
But her childhood was worse, and her mother’s even worse than that.
I have a sister who puts so much blame on our mother (yet our absent father gets adoration for occasionally calling from out of the country to say hi) that it only ends up hurting both of them more than ever. 💔
I’m now a single mom myself. I’m always caught between:
1) that fear and pressure of knowing “every single thing you do as their mom will determine every single thing they do/feel as an adult” and,
2) “no one is perfect, and you need to love yourself and allow room for mistakes.”
Will my children allow me room for mistakes when they’re older? I don’t know. But I hope so, and I try my best.
Just have an open ear for them when they need it. Don't do like their worries or pain don't exist or tell them it'll go away by ignoring slash not speaking about it. Had that myself and now I can "proudly" say I recognize myself in Margaritas list of signs.
Thank you for this comment . I have a lot of empathy for my mom and the awful experiences she endured as a child despite how coldly she has usually treated me. I can only hope my child will show me as much grace when he is my age although I strive to parent completely differently than my mom.
This is so hard! Long story short, I cut contact with my mother for a good 6 years and about a year ago after a long personal journey I reached out to my mother and asked her to tell me her story and it's probably the best thing I've ever done in my life.
I am so happy I allowed myself to give her the space to open up, we're building a safe relationship now and it's helped me heal so much pain. Letting go of anger and disappointment and allowing others to be human is very freeing.
me scrolling through the chapters/signs to see if this vid is for me going “ahahahh cool I have all of them!!!”
My mom is a narcissist and has criticized me my entire life. I was the scapegoat so she took all her anger and hate out on me and I just sat there and absorb it all. I’m still healing but dealing with so much pain and abandonment issues due to her never choosing her kids but working all the time and then growing us up in a violent abusive household with my dad. She acts like we should just move on from the past and not feel anything.
I hope that I'm not overstepping or offensive with this response:
Let it go. Move onward and upward. With as much love and compassion as you can muster towards her and the situation. She was doing the best she could with what she knew and she wasn't/isn't mentally aware enough or strong enough to do better.
For background my mother was extremely male centric at the expense of her kids, throughout my childhood, and I am noticing now in my 40s that she's a covert narcissist. On top of those things religious zealots who were not walking in the love and joy of God but we're instead critical and bitter, permeated our lives which made things that much more confusing for me for quite a while.
Your time and attention are valuable and releasing ASAP is your gift to yourself and will propell you on your healing journey. Take your control back. Best wishes!
10:42 healing the mother wound
thanks, thought it was never ending
Gonna share part of my story (maybe someone can relate and feel less alone)
My mother has always been overly protective. She used to stop me playing outside with the other kids until i was a teenager and she never let me go abroad. Even now as a 26 year old she keeps worrying about me going abroad for the new year. She keeps sending me articles of things about the country and keeps telling me old stereotypes of the people from the country to try to scare me from going. Even going as far as telling me the plane could crash and its gonna harm me being on the plane.
She used to say to me "you know what your dads like and you will challenge him" when he used to abuse me as a child.
These days she seems to think my partner is just like my abusive father and my grate aunt's husbad when he is nothing like those people at all. She doesnt really know my partner (he refuses to have anything to do with her) and seems to have a negative complex about these things.
One minute she wants to help me when i need her help with life stuff (like any adult in their twenties) and then the next she is like "well you chose to move in with your partner so you dont need my help anymore". She thinks she is a bad mother because im not codependent on her anymore. She sees my dependency on her as a reflection of her worth as a mother. She is black and white and keeps switching between the two. Its so confusing. It runs deeper than this though. Im healing and learning to create emotional boundaries because i love my mother and dont want her out of my life. She does white lie quite often and gets critical but thats why im creating boundaries. Its a journey for sure.
My entire life my mother was not around. For the first few years she had my grandmother babysit me as much as possible. She left my dad when i was 5 and i saw her about once a year after that. I remember when i was a kids being silenced. I was told i talked too much. That i should just sit and be quiet.
I didn't know this was a thing. But I just found this content and it spot on describes my relationship with my mom. It's never been close. She's always competing with me. She's 82 and I'm 61 and I'm her caretaker now. It sucks because I love her but I want to get away from her. If I don't live with her in her house and she couldn't live by herself because of her mobility issues. I would never put a parent in a facility, so ill stick it out as long as i can. I wish i could learn how to have a conflict free relationship with her😢
This is very true and then add in a Step Mother that did not want you to exist .
A mother nurtures for a lifetime angel. You will see this love
I knew I had the father wound but had no idea I also had the mother wound my mum was also a single mother and I felt like I had to grow up fairly quick and taking on responsibilities that I didn’t need to. I got married four years ago and only now being a mother having been with a narcissist being physical abusive I thought I knew how to stand with my boundaries but I really didn’t. Having now left the marriage I’m really trying to figure myself out and work on my own trauma. I’ve learnt so much just from watching your videos and when I do I feel like I can take on the world. Thank for being sucha gem 💎❤
My mother has been struggling with schizophrenia and maniac bipolar disorder all my life. She was "well" functioning when I was younger up until like 10 years old. It was difficult navigating childhood because one minute she was sweet and embracing and the next she would be having these violently abusive outbrusts. It used to terrify me and my siblings and before her diagnosis we didn't fully have a understanding of what was wrong with her, it would just be us constantly blaming ourselves and each other for her behaviour. The older I got the more low functioning she became and absent she was. And now at 22 years old I feel I'll never get the version of my mother I once knew back, she's a shell of her old self, barely coherent and the illness really took a toll on her. I feel even with the physical abuse and verbal torment nothing was more difficult to cope with then her motherly absence.
Thank you for this valuable video!!! Please make one for FATHER WOUND too. Thank you very much!
My mother was pretty cold but not because she didn’t love us, because my dad was a wreck less alcoholic & she didn’t have the energy or patience for us unfortunately ☹️☹️☹️ I’m forgiving it though
You quite literally saved my life with this one
healing the mother wound 11:44
Exactly! What gut feeling?!!!
Wow...this one was intense, powerful, and amazing. Thank you Margarita :) I love you!
I would deeply appreciate if you could make a video on the “father wound”.😊🙏
My mother frowned at me when I was upset about something. She would also say that I was causing fuss unnecessarily.
At 45 now, I still have attachment issues with her.
Love love love! Can you make a video about how to get in tune with your gut feeling more?? Amazing content Margarita! Thank you for all your support and love on this channel.
Awesome video Margarita - totally full of good knowledge, thank you ♥
Mi mamá y yo jamás nos hemos entendido del todo, por circunstancias ella no pudo estar muy presente en mi infancia temprana, desde recién nacida prácticamente, eso siento que nos afectó mucho, conforme fui creciendo sufrí de alienación parental y mi relación con la madre se puso peor, me ignoraba semanas, me agredia verbalmente, era tan crítica, tan fría, tan cruel conmigo que mucho tiempo pensé que no me amaba. A comparación de mi hermano a quien cuido desde recién nacido, lo apoyo siempre, siempre recalcó que a él lo amaba con su alma y siempre me sentí desplazada por mi mamá. Crecí y desarrollé un rencor horrible a esta mujer, pero empezó mi pubertad y ella arrepentida de cómo fue la infancia comenzó a prestarme atención, amor incluso, era incómodo para mí, porque yo estaba siempre a la defensiva con ella, hasta la fecha no puedo bajar la guardia totalmente, siempre creí que iba a agredirme verbalmente, la perdoné como pude o eso intento y aunque ahora ya han mejorado considerablemente las cosas, sigo siendo atacada con la ley del hielo, críticas a mi físico y personalidad siempre, pero me invade una culpa odiarla, no puedo odiarla, lloro de la culpa, ella me provee económicamente y me da culpa llegar a ser grosera con ella porque al final de cuentas ella me mata el hambre, pero siento que solo nos soportamos por culpa, ella tiene culpa de cómo fue conmigo cuando yo era muy pequeña y yo tengo culpa porque sé que soy una mala hija una interesada incluso, es mi madre pero no sé qué hacer, siempre estamos en un círculo vicioso de hacernos daño, estoy consciente que yo no soy una victima que también soy dura con ella y le eh dicho cosas tan hirientes, pero estoy hasta la madre de estar así, pronto seré mayor de edad y no sé a dónde quiero llevar mi vida con la relación que tengo con esta mujer. solo quería escribir lo que sentía porque me lleva toda la vida carcomiendo la cabeza, tengo tantas trabas que aunque trato de mejorar, a veces solo me gustaría no tenerlas, no tener que pasar por este proceso.
Thank you sososososo much Margarita. I’m so thankful for you and your videos!! ❤
Literally could not have come at a better time ♥️🙌
Much love to you for helping us become better versions of ourselves!❤ Would like for you to do a video on a father wound as well please.
Can you make a father wound video next? And how you healed yours ❤ love you
Your videos have helped me so much, I came across attachment theory through one of your videos and started reading Attached and the other books you have recommended and it completely is changing my life for the better and have started to heal, thank you so much ❤️❤️
Just started following your channel and it’s amazing. I went from feeling depressed to feel like there is hope. Thank you! Can you please do a podcast on confident communication?
Please make a video on the father wound ❤
These kind of videos help us to be more compassionate towards others..love them and be More patient with them and with ourselves.. 💖
Margarita could you do a video on how to stay in your feminine energy when you’re going through something difficult? I totally understand the principle however when going through something difficult that may span a few months, how would a feminine energy woman deal with that with boundaries, being honest to herself and also still attractive to a man?
i am glad to learn about this topic.
Hi Margarita... I hope you make a father wound video. I am very Interested in hearing what you have to say.
My mother may or may not have changed but she is no longer living so I will never know
I get excited to see Margarita come through the feed! Love your content and messages. Thanks for all you do for us queens! 🔥😍💜
I would like a video where you explain the differences between a narcissist and an avoidant. I have been really struggling to differentiate between the two and I'm at the point where if he's a narcissist I'm leaving, but if he's avoidant I will try and make things work. He ticks 7/10 of the narcissist "boxes" (none of them to the extreme) and all of the avoidant ones. I lean on the side of an anxious attachment style, not massively, but enough to cause issues (long distance doesn't help). I want to know what I am dealing with in order to make my next move. Thank you for your videos 😊
❤this video so much! Btw I did email with the book preorder (27th May) the support email bounced so I resent to the Info one. Hadn’t heard back just yet but imagine there’s a bit of backlog maybe xx
This was very good.
I live in US and would love a paper copy of your book but the Amazon link only give an option for audiobook or kindle! Please let me know I have the audiobook coming but would love a physical copy! Your RUclips videos changed my life ❤
OH MY GOD! I JUST REMEMBERED YOU WHILE JOURNALING BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE POSTED SINCE IT'S BEEN A FEW DAYS AND YOU POSTED THIS. i was waiting for this one because i think earlier you posted this but it was removed, so excited to watch it
Thank you so much! Love your content Margarita! ❤
This video opened my eyes and helped me A LOT. Very grateful !
I pre ordered the book yesterday and sent an email.. waiting for a response from your team regarding the MasterClass giveaway
Can the Mother Wound come from a father where the energy dynamic in the home was flip flopped? The mother functioning mostly in the masculine energy and the father in the feminine?
Its remind me my situation. My father and me have more feminne than my mother
We love you lots too Margarita.
Hope you're doing well! I really needed this video ❤️
Healing thanks to her❤
Most therapist are lying when it comes to really heal such very deep wounds - - because certain kind of wounds will never really heal at all.
Look into EMDR with a therapist who says they can use it for childhood trauma cpstd.
How to survive with a narcissistic mother?
I am struggling right now so much. She's taking important decisions of my life. She doesn't want me to continue my study and lock me up in a room all the time.
If she is narcisstic it is quite logical she profits out of you being weak or dependent..
Study girl, *secure yourself*, please. Find a secure job and have your life in your own hands❤
Thank you for this, Margarita ❤
Wonderfully said ❤
How do we do the mourning? 😢😢😢
How is your relationship with your mother now? Does she interfere in how you raise your kids? How do you make it manageable now?
Hey 👋 Sooo beautiful ... thank you so much for being so authentic! Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪 Silvia
Gonna need the father video.
I just pre-ordered your book on Audible, I am so excited for it! Congratulations!!!
If we preorder how do we get the free polarity class?
Great video. Thank you ❤
Father Wound Plzzz
Thank you so much for that. Sending love from Brazil ❤
Can you have a mother wound by way of your mother dying when you were a child? My mother died when I was 6.
Teachers are children’s primary caregivers at school for 8 hours a day. This has to affect how children see themselves too
how about father wound please? And could u also make video about living with an abusive household but u cant move out yet. Im currently 17. Idk what to do bc they made me so dependent on them until now. Buying something for myself requires them to over explain myself
Preordered your book! ❤
Excellent. And its worth looking into this , without blaming , as you said Moms did therir best,
what the were able to at that time. I always looked at my fathers role in my life more because he left
when i was 11, only recently did i look at my mothers role and it was eye opening.
Thank you for picking up the sublect and for your sound advise as always.
I will preorder your book, one for me one for my daughter.
Will you adress the fatherwound too?
It would be much appreciated. Thank you
Well damn…I certainly have a mother wound. I relate to all of these things.
Wow! So insightful! X
Thank you ❤
I love this!! ❤️
Thank you❤ so painful
Still face experiment ❤
My mom loves me and is always there for me as she knows how and none of my other siblings are like me which I believe is anxious attachment so what does that mean?.
Hey ! I just pre - ordered , how do I sign up for the nasterclass for free ?
Any films or series recs for mom's life or parents life because idk what having present parents feels like I've been neglected as a child my whole life
1:38 The Still Face Experiment
I am 30 . She still criticise me . Throw bad words to me . At the same time she is full of good words towards my sister. How can i overcome from the wound she is giving me every single day .. she make fun of me infront of others
Darren1😭 mum💓🍼 👶❤️Yes my
Hi. What is the name of your book again?
the new rules
Everyone gives great advice but noone seems to know how to solve it, i don't agree with your solutions . The best solution is loving yourself whenever you thrash yourself. It's your inner child approval. Also what tv shows are you talking about and perfect mother's ? As kids we want love and attention not bcos we saw it on a tv show. If your mom didn't give you attention it creates a deep void within of feeling unloved always. The ways to overcome it properly is creating healthy relationships as an adult , where you give love not just expect attention.
First ❤
13:09
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