One of my regrets in life is that I didn't have the courage to join a water polo team, a friend from military wanted me to join. They were very physical with each other in the locker room and in the pool, and they for sure knew I was gay, but my insecurity with myself at that time frightened me. You cannot shake off a childhood of being bullied and excluded just like that. Too bad. They were really nice and it would have been very healthy for me to join in and experience being accepted for who I was at that age. Makes you wish you can turn back time and redo things.
Thanks! This world is not always a friendly place for thoughtful sensitive people. We just have to find the other ones like ourselves. I had no affinity for team sports at all.I had very few friends but they were real friends. You are a beautiful spirit and I am glad the path was laid open to you
I always avoided team sports for this very reason. I tried a gay volleyball league the guys were so much more advanced than I was and they got very frustrated when I missed a serve. Maybe it just wasn't the right group of guys. I'm glad it worked for you! 💓
Yess! It’s inclusive bc they’re gay but exclusive bc they’re super skilled and stuck up bc they think they’re better than everyone which I guess they are but like you don’t have to be mean about it
Great story. A lot of guys can relate with what he went through, especially those that spent time in and around straight guys and sports teams. Thanks for sharing your story.
I hated school sports...but looking back now, after 40 years, I realise that the real issue had been the unrelenting homophobic bullying meted out to me incessantly; silently colluded in by the teaching staff. It was beyond shameful. Oh, and the chap telling his story in this video is soooooo handsome. 😉
Gay sports were a Godsend when I came out. I loved the years I played in NAGVA and NAGAAA leagues. They helped me realize that I didn’t have to give up sports just because I was Gay.
In high school I won first prize in overall competitions for a track & field tournament. Needless to say, I got called gay derogatory names. I never felt accepted by my school, community, nor my family. In later years I tried gymnastics, but still no support from anyone.
For those who can, it is also okay to stand up to the homophobes, and put them in their place. Be confident. Show no fear. It also helps if you know how to fight. Almost always, without a physical fight, the above is enough for the homophobes to back off. They will stop disrespecting you, at least to your face. We all know how most people view those who talk about others behind their backs.
Jesse, excellent video. Thanks, bro. It is amazing how much power we give to others in accepting who we are. I think the key is to be who we are regardless of what others think about who we are. Thanks, man........Ray
That's a shame that guy did that to you in school cuz you miss the kick you should have told him flat out just a freaking game if you didn't like it tough cookies but anyway I'm glad you're in this group that you're in now it sounds like a lot of fun and you're going to a lot of different places and meeting a lot of different people cheers to you buddy you're an awfully nice guy I wish I knew you personally you're really nice you would make a great friend anyway have a great week
I'm so happy you could do that people need to be around people especially those accepting of others and you found the right niche I hope you're killing them at soccer try and have a nice spring whenever it gets here. DRS.
So happy for this guy finally rising above his insecurities and overcoming his having felt so dehumanized/demeaned earlier in life. However, I wonder if straight kids/youngsters/young adults also use the terms 'that is so gay' or 'you are so gay for having done x, y or z' or, case in point, 'you're such a f*gg*t for missing that' with each other as put downs, to be sure, but not necessarily to suggest anything necessarily demeaning about the receiver's actual sexual orientation per se, but rather in the same vein as 'you idiot.' I'm just putting that out there. Sometimes we internalize words that may not be necessarily meant to be taken or interpreted to mean anything deeper than merely the superficial.. i.e, 'you're such a b*tch for doing that,' etc.. He states early on that he was used to hearing homophobic slurs throughout his school years, but he never does definitively state that everyone knew he was gay or that these slurs were aimed at him personally. I was kind of left to assume that they were in fact aimed at him in that way, but it wasn't 100% clear. At any rate, it would've taken a superhuman sense of self-confidence not to allow a lot of that to get to him very personally. These interviews demonstrate the bravery these guys have in coming forward and reliving painful experiences for the sake and benefit of us viewers. Lesson here to parents or older siblings of LGBTQ+ kids: please teach these youngsters that demeaning words aimed at them are never a reflection of who they are, they're merely a reflection of who the abuser is. We cannot allow LGBTQ+ children to grow up thinking that destructive words should have any power over them or that they should be internalized or taken to heart. End of rant.
I went to a gay volleyball game in Golden Gate park years ago in San Francisco. I've never been competitive in any sport and this team appeared to be extremely competent and competitive. I suppose, because I'm 6'6" they probably hoped I would fit in and be an asset, but it completely put me off and I left. To this day, I prefer to play very relaxed games where you won't be criticized so extremely. It's cool, but I still wish I could find a group that was much more relaxed and did it for fun.
Marcus LeeP I am 69 years old very hairy 6 ft 180 lbs 8 inches thick when erect I am a top live in Columbia south Carolina my phone number is 15852080490 you can text or call me would love to get to know you maybe send or text you some pictures of me you will not be disappointed nine
I don't know if this is that much of a positive story. He quit football because he was verbally abused, was not accepted and then had to change sports. Despite him liking volley ball, seems a shame he had leave football because of bullying.
A bit confused here. I am a gay man as well and grew up in rural Pennsylvania. Was closeted into my 20’s after college and moved to a more urban accepting area. I am curious if you were “out” in the high school situation? I also played team sports and heard many similar types of negative comments from coaches, teammates and peers aimed a numerous individuals over the years. What if he called you an asshole, moron or said you sucked? You are essentially saying because you were recognized, by your own determination as being a gay man described by a derogatory slur, you were negatively impacted. Would any other name lead to the same personal impact? Realistically in the situation do you believe he understood that the slur he used was more impactful than asshole, idiot, etc? Bitch is an equally offensive term depending on who, when and where. Your ability to draw comfort in hearing that slur pretty much dismisses or may speak to a lack of self acceptance and projection. All factors are part of a very complex problem and I am not judging. I have come to learn through many similar situations, what you heard in this instance was magnified 100x more than the thought or intent it was delivered with. Doesn’t make it right, but considering that may give you more peace of mind.
How can autistic men be allies? We used to be picked on for various things. People thought we were passive. We were weak. we had one friend we wouldn't leave alone (you know what that means). They thought we were gay. We just wanted to be left alone by the jerks, the bullies. I guess I overcompensate with aggression now, because of the assholery I endured in middle school. I just want to be left alone with my life so I can pursue life to the fullest. How do I support people who are gbtq or l?
Jesse, if you look back at some of those guys now, maybe you’ll understand that they were hiding something and acting out, they figured no one would believe they had a craving for guys too. Some will suffer and take their secret to the grave and sometimes that burning fire inside them will be so bad, they put themselves in an early grave. I come from a generation and community that (I feel) wasn’t too accepting. I pray that in the next 60+ years, people will be kinder and gentler towards ones preference.
In SF, i'll still encounter people saying things like "That's so gay". The difference is when I call it out, everyone already knows it was a transgression. It results in an apology and a willingness to do better. That's the difference. For my part, I know patterns of speech take effort and time to change. I don't hold grudges.
I am gay. And I can tell that its turn-OFF to be in a locker rom. In that kind of context its not at all turn-on, its just akward. I have never felt that I wanna look around. I have no problem beeing in a locker room, I think its just boring, and I don't enjoy beeing there, I'm just neutral about beeing there. Its a room where you change clothes and where you take a shower, thats it, thats the way I see it. Everyone looks the same in a men's locker room, so you just see what you see on your own body everyday, so its natural. Men being naked with other men is complete natural, women beeing naked with other women is complete natural. As a gay man I don't turn on EVERY man in the world, and things are based on context, in such context its not exciting. I think most gay men are only intrested in other gay men, becaue the thought of a man who is defenetly not interested in you and you know it can never be a relationship between him and you, thia thought itself is VERY turn-OFF. Doesn't matter how he loock, as long as he is straight, he is NOT interessing to me. So I turn on very few men, because I only turn on men who I know are gay's, if I am not sure if they are gay or not I don't turn on them before I know for sure. My bestfriend is straight, he turn on girls, but he turn off lesbians, dosnt matter if they are feminin or masculine, just the thought that it can never be something between him and that lesbian girl make the whole situation very turn OFF he say . My straight friends respect me as a gay man. We share hotelroom when we are on holidays, we piss on urinals beside eachother, we sitting naked together in sauna just a few centimeter from eachother, if the sauna is tiny and full of people, and I still feel no interest. So I am often naked around friends, but I never take a close look, why should I?
Thank you. I just wish it had not taken me so long--I am 78 now, to honor God, to be honest with myself and others. This video should not have to be needed, but it is. To the young man and any one else out there--read Psalm 20. Be blessed!
I didn't participate in sports. I was too nelly. I could never hit or catch a ball. I was a runt so football was really out of the question. Idk if the coach was gay. He'd been in the army and he would tell the boys "you girls better shape up". The guys respected me bc I drove tractors and combines at an early age. Some guys would tease me with "girl you better shape up" and everybody would laugh.
Being super judgmental here and totally not on topic, but a beard needs a topper. Try fuzz only as long as your beard.if I had hair, I'd comb it. I understood and liked your story. Play ball.
I don't get it. Since he is gay, why would he not have felt accepted from way back when in an all-men gay sports league?? The only reason he was turned off and got discouraged in high school was because of the anti-gay remark. But it's not as if this or ANY gay league could ever allow such a remark as it would be completely invalid, utterly nonsensical in the first place!?
Buddy, if the worst thing that ever happened to you was being called names on a regular basis, even if indeed it happened DAILY, I don't think that you have anything to complain about. Ever heard of Jamie Nabozny ? Check 'im out. After you read HIS story, you'll see what I mean. These days, so many people consider name-calling to be a heinous crime. Sorry, but it ain't. Sure, it's hurtful, but you've gotta be resilient! Older gay men who were teens during the, say, 1970s simply bit the bullet and hung in there, put forth the effort necessary to deal with adversity, and ultimately emerged the stronger and more galvanized and determined to succeed and overcome the strife in their lives for it. These days, too many gay men are constantly whining and playing the Victim card. BE TOUGH .
Totally agree. I mean, who is permanently scarred because someone called them a faggot in grade school? I was called that by bullies before I even knew I was gay. It was the go-to word bullies used for everyone. Grow a thicker skin.
Perhaps then, you better hope and pray that the person who saves your life one day is not one of those gays you can't seem to like. How could you possibly live with yourself afterwards?
One of my regrets in life is that I didn't have the courage to join a water polo team, a friend from military wanted me to join.
They were very physical with each other in the locker room and in the pool, and they for sure knew I was gay, but my insecurity with myself at that time frightened me. You cannot shake off a childhood of being bullied and excluded just like that.
Too bad. They were really nice and it would have been very healthy for me to join in and experience being accepted for who I was at that age.
Makes you wish you can turn back time and redo things.
Thanks! This world is not always a friendly place for thoughtful sensitive people. We just have to find the other ones like ourselves. I had no affinity for team sports at all.I had very few friends but they were real friends. You are a beautiful spirit and I am glad the path was laid open to you
I always avoided team sports for this very reason. I tried a gay volleyball league the guys were so much more advanced than I was and they got very frustrated when I missed a serve. Maybe it just wasn't the right group of guys. I'm glad it worked for you! 💓
Same happened to me. Gay volleyball can be very cruel to not very good players
All gay sports leagues are cliques and mean girls. I tired a few and it was all the same. I avoid it
Yess! It’s inclusive bc they’re gay but exclusive bc they’re super skilled and stuck up bc they think they’re better than everyone which I guess they are but like you don’t have to be mean about it
There are higher and lower divisions of gay volleyball. Make sure you are in the correct one for your level.
@@dannywhite8178 Not only the gays, the straights do it too, but worse.
Great story. A lot of guys can relate with what he went through, especially those that spent time in and around straight guys and sports teams. Thanks for sharing your story.
I hated school sports...but looking back now, after 40 years, I realise that the real issue had been the unrelenting homophobic bullying meted out to me incessantly; silently colluded in by the teaching staff. It was beyond shameful.
Oh, and the chap telling his story in this video is soooooo handsome. 😉
Gay sports were a Godsend when I came out. I loved the years I played in NAGVA and NAGAAA leagues. They helped me realize that I didn’t have to give up sports just because I was Gay.
I dont know why straight guys take gym seriously.. if you miss a kick who cares its just a game
Because it’s “the guy thing” and “jock thing” to do, no matter how much they secretly crave Dick.
In high school I won first prize in overall competitions for a track & field tournament. Needless to say, I got called gay derogatory names. I never felt accepted by my school, community, nor my family. In later years I tried gymnastics, but still no support from anyone.
It's really good that you found a group you could have fun with and who you can form bonds with
Yes agreed with all the " handsome " remarks !! sweet too !!
For those who can, it is also okay to stand up to the homophobes, and put them in their place.
Be confident. Show no fear.
It also helps if you know how to fight.
Almost always, without a physical fight, the above is enough for the homophobes to back off. They will stop disrespecting you, at least to your face. We all know how most people view those who talk about others behind their backs.
THX FOR SHARING! MANY OTHER'S HAVE GONE OR GOING THROUGH THE SAME SITUATION, YOU GAVE THEM HOPE! AND THAT CANNOT BE TAKEN AWAY. MUCH LOVE*
“Bitch you better hit that serve!” Made me smile so hard.
Jesse, excellent video. Thanks, bro. It is amazing how much power we give to others in accepting who we are. I think the key is to be who we are regardless of what others think about who we are. Thanks, man........Ray
What a beautiful man, he is very handsome, I wish a husband like him 😍
big sus
@@TacticalReax omg 😧 amogus
Bless You! Enjoyed your story
Aww... what a sweet guy!
We have all been there, I understand completely
happy that you found an outlet for your sports and are happy
That's a shame that guy did that to you in school cuz you miss the kick you should have told him flat out just a freaking game if you didn't like it tough cookies but anyway I'm glad you're in this group that you're in now it sounds like a lot of fun and you're going to a lot of different places and meeting a lot of different people cheers to you buddy you're an awfully nice guy I wish I knew you personally you're really nice you would make a great friend anyway have a great week
I'm so happy you could do that people need to be around people especially those accepting of others and you found the right niche I hope you're killing them at soccer try and have a nice spring whenever it gets here. DRS.
So happy for this guy finally rising above his insecurities and overcoming his having felt so dehumanized/demeaned earlier in life. However, I wonder if straight kids/youngsters/young adults also use the terms 'that is so gay' or 'you are so gay for having done x, y or z' or, case in point, 'you're such a f*gg*t for missing that' with each other as put downs, to be sure, but not necessarily to suggest anything necessarily demeaning about the receiver's actual sexual orientation per se, but rather in the same vein as 'you idiot.' I'm just putting that out there. Sometimes we internalize words that may not be necessarily meant to be taken or interpreted to mean anything deeper than merely the superficial.. i.e, 'you're such a b*tch for doing that,' etc.. He states early on that he was used to hearing homophobic slurs throughout his school years, but he never does definitively state that everyone knew he was gay or that these slurs were aimed at him personally. I was kind of left to assume that they were in fact aimed at him in that way, but it wasn't 100% clear. At any rate, it would've taken a superhuman sense of self-confidence not to allow a lot of that to get to him very personally. These interviews demonstrate the bravery these guys have in coming forward and reliving painful experiences for the sake and benefit of us viewers. Lesson here to parents or older siblings of LGBTQ+ kids: please teach these youngsters that demeaning words aimed at them are never a reflection of who they are, they're merely a reflection of who the abuser is. We cannot allow LGBTQ+ children to grow up thinking that destructive words should have any power over them or that they should be internalized or taken to heart. End of rant.
Your friend (Boston) gave you much kindness. Grateful that you were able to be accepted....
02:27 The best! I couldn't stop laughing!
I went to a gay volleyball game in Golden Gate park years ago in San Francisco. I've never been competitive in any sport and this team appeared to be extremely competent and competitive. I suppose, because I'm 6'6" they probably hoped I would fit in and be an asset, but it completely put me off and I left. To this day, I prefer to play very relaxed games where you won't be criticized so extremely. It's cool, but I still wish I could find a group that was much more relaxed and did it for fun.
You are very handsome. God bless you..
Marcus LeeP i agree sexy
Marcus LeeP do you have a boyfriend now
Marcus LeeP do you have email addressp
Marcus LeeP I am 69 years old very hairy 6 ft 180 lbs 8 inches thick when erect I am a top live in Columbia south Carolina my phone number is 15852080490 you can text or call me would love to get to know you maybe send or text you some pictures of me you will not be disappointed nine
No. And do you have boyfriend as of now.
What a sweet and charming guy.
I don't know if this is that much of a positive story. He quit football because he was verbally abused, was not accepted and then had to change sports. Despite him liking volley ball, seems a shame he had leave football because of bullying.
Dude, thanks for sharing your story...
A bit confused here. I am a gay man as well and grew up in rural Pennsylvania. Was closeted into my 20’s after college and moved to a more urban accepting area. I am curious if you were “out” in the high school situation? I also played team sports and heard many similar types of negative comments from coaches, teammates and peers aimed a numerous individuals over the years. What if he called you an asshole, moron or said you sucked? You are essentially saying because you were recognized, by your own determination as being a gay man described by a derogatory slur, you were negatively impacted. Would any other name lead to the same personal impact? Realistically in the situation do you believe he understood that the slur he used was more impactful than asshole, idiot, etc? Bitch is an equally offensive term depending on who, when and where. Your ability to draw comfort in hearing that slur pretty much dismisses or may speak to a lack of self acceptance and projection. All factors are part of a very complex problem and I am not judging. I have come to learn through many similar situations, what you heard in this instance was magnified 100x more than the thought or intent it was delivered with. Doesn’t make it right, but considering that may give you more peace of mind.
How can autistic men be allies? We used to be picked on for various things. People thought we were passive. We were weak. we had one friend we wouldn't leave alone (you know what that means). They thought we were gay. We just wanted to be left alone by the jerks, the bullies. I guess I overcompensate with aggression now, because of the assholery I endured in middle school. I just want to be left alone with my life so I can pursue life to the fullest. How do I support people who are gbtq or l?
Conner Fields wtf does this even mean lmao
Sounds like NAGVA. That also changed my life. Been doing it for 20 years now. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Jesse, if you look back at some of those guys now, maybe you’ll understand that they were hiding something and acting out, they figured no one would believe they had a craving for guys too. Some will suffer and take their secret to the grave and sometimes that burning fire inside them will be so bad, they put themselves in an early grave. I come from a generation and community that (I feel) wasn’t too accepting. I pray that in the next 60+ years, people will be kinder and gentler towards ones preference.
"Bitch, you better GET that serve!!!" 😆😆😆
Bitch you better hit that serve,. LOL...love these stories of empowerement and courage, keep it coming. thanks
I appreciate your healthy attitude.
When I joins a sports club, I only participated in the huddle actions.
Yeah, don't hang it on the South. I can't count the times in liberal Northern California I was hit with slurs growing up. All.the.time.
In SF, i'll still encounter people saying things like "That's so gay". The difference is when I call it out, everyone already knows it was a transgression. It results in an apology and a willingness to do better. That's the difference.
For my part, I know patterns of speech take effort and time to change. I don't hold grudges.
damm, this dude is hot
I am gay. And I can tell that its turn-OFF to be in a locker rom. In that kind of context its not at all turn-on, its just akward. I have never felt that I wanna look around. I have no problem beeing in a locker room, I think its just boring, and I don't enjoy beeing there, I'm just neutral about beeing there. Its a room where you change clothes and where you take a shower, thats it, thats the way I see it. Everyone looks the same in a men's locker room, so you just see what you see on your own body everyday, so its natural. Men being naked with other men is complete natural, women beeing naked with other women is complete natural. As a gay man I don't turn on EVERY man in the world, and things are based on context, in such context its not exciting. I think most gay men are only intrested in other gay men, becaue the thought of a man who is defenetly not interested in you and you know it can never be a relationship between him and you, thia thought itself is VERY turn-OFF. Doesn't matter how he loock, as long as he is straight, he is NOT interessing to me. So I turn on very few men, because I only turn on men who I know are gay's, if I am not sure if they are gay or not I don't turn on them before I know for sure. My bestfriend is straight, he turn on girls, but he turn off lesbians, dosnt matter if they are feminin or masculine, just the thought that it can never be something between him and that lesbian girl make the whole situation very turn OFF he say . My straight friends respect me as a gay man. We share hotelroom when we are on holidays, we piss on urinals beside eachother, we sitting naked together in sauna just a few centimeter from eachother, if the sauna is tiny and full of people, and I still feel no interest. So I am often naked around friends, but I never take a close look, why should I?
Thank you. I just wish it had not taken me so long--I am 78 now, to honor God, to be honest with myself and others. This video should not have to be needed, but it is. To the young man and any one else out there--read Psalm 20. Be blessed!
Awesome dude
I didn't participate in sports. I was too nelly. I could never hit or catch a ball. I was a runt so football was really out of the question. Idk if the coach was gay. He'd been in the army and he would tell the boys "you girls better shape up". The guys respected me bc I drove tractors and combines at an early age. Some guys would tease me with "girl you better shape up" and everybody would laugh.
This is the hottest men I've ever seen in my whole life
Lol. I thought this was an Onion headline
same 🤣
you are still gorgeous
Envy that black scruff beard; you are a very handsome guy.
What a cutie pie!
My partner played high school football 🏈 Queers can be athletes 🙂
Cool dude.....💛💚💙💜💕❤
I'm from Asheboro too. I went to SWR.
Hearing it for fifteen years? Then you were in college? How long were you in school? Edit or change yr RUclips posts bro....
A good looking guy but it seems a Gay environment integratrd him back into Sports and perhaps Gay lifestyle more intensely but that s his choice
Marry me!
title does NOT match the contents.
boyfriend material!!!
Being super judgmental here and totally not on topic, but a beard needs a topper. Try fuzz only as long as your beard.if I had hair, I'd comb it.
I understood and liked your story. Play ball.
Im here for the Haikyuu comics where r they
I don't get it. Since he is gay, why would he not have felt accepted from way back when in an all-men gay sports league?? The only reason he was turned off and got discouraged in high school was because of the anti-gay remark. But it's not as if this or ANY gay league could ever allow such a remark as it would be completely invalid, utterly nonsensical in the first place!?
Buddy, if the worst thing that ever happened to you was being called names on a regular basis, even if indeed it happened DAILY, I don't think that you have anything to complain about. Ever heard of Jamie Nabozny ? Check 'im out. After you read HIS story, you'll see what I mean. These days, so many people consider name-calling to be a heinous crime. Sorry, but it ain't. Sure, it's hurtful, but you've gotta be resilient! Older gay men who were teens during the, say, 1970s simply bit the bullet and hung in there, put forth the effort necessary to deal with adversity, and ultimately emerged the stronger and more galvanized and determined to succeed and overcome the strife in their lives for it. These days, too many gay men are constantly whining and playing the Victim card. BE TOUGH .
Paul I was thinking the same thing!
So gay... Quit the head swaying. Jesus...
Shut up
@@BenniStrawberry_RUclips you first troll.
Not someone with 1 sub and a trash pfp trying to talk down to me smh
Insulting me is really gonna get people to agree with you :) nice racist comment btw if that’s what you meant by pink Hershey
Man your too sensitive
Blah blah blah
Why are you hating
wow... he called u a name. Not like that’s ever happened to anyone before 🙃
"a name" is different than a slur
Totally agree. I mean, who is permanently scarred because someone called them a faggot in grade school? I was called that by bullies before I even knew I was gay. It was the go-to word bullies used for everyone. Grow a thicker skin.
@@timesfire It is not the duty of the oppressed to suffer oppression gracefully.
I don't have homophobia I just can't bring myself to like the gays.
Perhaps then, you better hope and pray that the person who saves your life one day is not one of those gays you can't seem to like. How could you possibly live with yourself afterwards?
I feel you
Fair enough at least you’re honest - just don’t use your power to deny them rights