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Learning Life Lessons While Working For A Gay Escort Service
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
- His first job out of college was working in the office of a gay escort service in Washington, D.C. It was there that he learned important lessons about community, kindness and empathy.
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As a gay man, with a challenging and checkered past, I totally understand where this man is coming from, he’s a saint and a gift to many and I’m sure he doesn’t realise just how much he’s appreciated 👍
Such a well spoken and charming guy.
He's a kind and very charming guy.
The suffering these men go thru is unbelievable. My heart goes out to all of them 💔😢
gourmet cavewoman What do you mean? Who are 'these men' you are talking about?
@@joexuereb607 men who cannot be open about their sexuality?
How eloquent and touching a story. Thank you!
I love that he referred to his sociology degree as a reason he was interested in the escort service. Fascinating story! Love the message about alternative families.
BS
It was a business for everyone involved
And he called it "deviant."
BA in English with a Concentration in Writing and a Minor in Psychology and I got into sex work for 7 years. Escorted and then did adult film. Honestly, people don’t realize it can be a sacred thing. I had SO many profound experiences with many men, and a lot of them told me I had changed them forever in a good way. I now joke that I have a PHD in the male psyche and a Master’s in the Human Condition. :)
@@k.c.9650Yeah, that annoyed me. By today’s standards, neither the John nor the Jane-excuse my gendered and bad metaphor-are deviants.
"I'm the last person you would expect to do this kind of work." Don't underestimate yourself. I think you're absolutely gorgeous.
The same they always say about serial killers. It's always the last man you think you would do such a thing". :)
He worked at the agency as an office manager, not an escort. His looks are not relevant. He was talking about himself being conservative.
TimeIdle - so as the droves of priests involved in young men, so looks are irrelevant.
Exactly. Also, people really think that only people with supermodel-level looks work as escorts?
Regardless, he is extremely good looking, kind, caring, compassionate and extremely intelligent. He would have been a great "escort", if he chose that course in life to follow.
Excellent storyteller. Enjoyed his message...
I love his comment about family. I love my family, but as gay man, I have a gay family I am much closer to.
He’s a good man. We can all see that and very easy on the eye. 😀
honestly one of the best channels on RUclips showcasing these amazing stories
You're so right! I never grow tired of hearing coming out stories and experiences.
I did that job (escort dispatcher/ front office) for almost a year when I lived in Australia after University I totally connect with your story
Brilliant way to start my day; I really enjoyed watching this vlog. 'You might not get the family you want but you get the one you need', that's true for the family you're born to and if you're lucky and/or through circumstances, the one you create. That resonated with me because it's been the situation in my life.
He is so cute.
Wonderful message of empathy!
He's very charming.
He's southern. Of course he's charming. Most southern men are charming.
You're a good man, Ben.
Honestly, this one hit kinda close to home (literally). I'm actually from New Iberia and just graduated with a degree in sociology. Even though I'm still young, I can relate to the desire and need for a family dynamic that you create, especially when coming from such a conservative area where any type of deviation from the norm is heavily frowned upon (and EVERYBODY knows about it by the end of the week).
I've been through New Iberia....grew up upriver...Audubon country. I'll give you a heads up. There will be gay bars in any large metropolitan area, and they can be enjoyable, but don't expect to find husband material there. Look for social groups, Church, Theater groups, wilderness camping groups, people who would have interests you share. get to know them as friends, and you will have your chosen family. ..and likely to find someone really worth spending your life with.
I always love to find that even though people have been pushed aside from main society, they still hold on to their empathy.
Thank you, Sir, for telling us about your transition and job experience. What an enlightening message. I needed to hear it.
Profound in beauty and thought, no doubt. He approached this with an open mind and left with a broader concept of what family and community normally looks to him. Bravo for him-for us.
Kind open person detailing his own path. I applaud you for this. You are beautiful both in your outward appearance and your spirit. May your spirit shine this way throughout your whole life
A very touching and moving story! It's too bad so many of us HAVE to learn lessons like this one AFTER we have left home!
Well, I was expecting to hear a story about you actually being an escort, but it does matter because what you said is extremely meaningful and gay people could learn a lot from your experience. You show a lot of insight into this alternate way of being in the world and I hope you continue to give that to other people of unusual life experiences. Your story about the obese man was especially moving. I don't think I could have been so kind in such a challenging experience. The closest I could come is that there was a period where I did massage professionally. I attempted to avoid the sexual expectations most of the time, which felt very different from non-sexual massage, even contrary. However, for a few sessions I was hired by a woman sex worker who was not "petit" and her very large and muscular husband who was a psychiatric nurse, which probably helped in work that could be very physical at times. She was a typical massage client and did not ask for sex. His body was so big and muscular that it was a challenge to work on him and I'm not a small person myself. In hindsight, I probably should have charged him more . . . long time ago . . . interesting life experience. Thanks for sharing from a conservative gay man who still struggles with the often over the top lifestyle of many gay folks.
Wow. That story about the sex workers bathing an obese man was really touching.
Fatties need sex too
@susie x_o fan What is better, handsome and fit mass murderer or fat person who is nice?
if you are reading this, I'm here for you. *Hugs*
What a wonderful, intelligent man.
Himself and his story reflects all that is good about our community, be proud and kind to each other
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. this has really recharged my faith in humanity. thank you.
What a kind and thoughtful man. Yes indeed. We make our own families and that means everything. Thank you Ben for the person you are and the person you have always been.
In my opinion, escorts not only have a tendency to be more compassionate and more "human" than those who are not escorts, but are also more keenly aware of the human condition than those who think they are above it.
For $300.00 an hour I'd show more compassion than Mother Theresa. Human condition blah blah; all this caring still comes at a fine price
I've met male escorts like that, too. Perhaps those I met were the exception to the norm, but I met quite a few in my younger days. It's all very interesting to see what how much things have changed, and how much things have not changed.
Stephen: I once befriended a young man who I believe spent part of his life as an "escort". I got a glimpse of a remarkable soul full of kindness and generosity. Your expression of being "keenly aware of the human conditions" intrigued me. I became much more aware through him. May he rest in peace. Thanks for posting that comment.
don't believe you...true escort would not act like this as there are so many escorts available as competition, and hiv is manageable nowadays, what you described is more like narcissistic gold diggers and hopefully you were not them victium...
lol...the hooker with a heart of gold? That's a trope, not a real thing.
Thank you, Ben, for sharing one of the most important lessons each of us can learn. I have learned the same from being there for online sex workers-------these guys are more real people than many of my 'real life' friends. We all need to be open to the Universe in love and learn.......thanks, man..........Ray
First off, you’re a very handsome guy and I’m sure in your 20s, you would’ve gotten a lot of clients. Over 2 decades ago, I used to work as an escort for about a year...and I didn’t do it for the money, I did it because I liked older guys (and still do) and it was exciting in many way. Yes, sometimes it was sexual, but about half of the time, they just wanted to spend the night with a young, good looking man who engaged them in thoughtful conversation...so we’d often just go out to nice dinners, go for walks on the beach (I’m from Hawai’i) and hold hands, or just sleep in bed and cuddle all night. I met some really great guys who treated me very well...so in return, I did the same. I really liked that story you told about the obese man and how the sex workers would be compassionate with him...’cause that’s something I’ve done before and it’s so rewarding knowing that you helped someone who couldn’t help themselves. 😁
R u high?
@@ScribblebytesWorldwide Not at the moment, but I don’t really keep track of it. 😜
It strikes me as a job that would be more psychological rather than physical. I'm sure there are clients who just want a romp in bed, but I could certainly see a majority of them being people who just want some human contact.
@@harleygould7255 LOL. I’m guessing, by your verbiage and tone, you’ve never been a sex worker, and that you’re not gay or bisexual. I did mention, in my original comment, that for me, sex and company each made up 50% of my jobs...but they’re not as you supposed. Sex clients were both physical and psychological...company clients were neither, eating dinner and cuddling while watching a movie isn’t psychologically taxing IMO. But sex can be both, but of varying degrees. When I was topping, it wasn’t physically exhausting,...but bottoming can definitely be physically exhausting. While the stimulation of our prostate gland feels phenomenal, having a part of someone else inside of you is an overwhelming feeling (I can’t think of a better word to describe it)...you feel very vulnerable and exposed. And the psychological aspect depends on what position you’re at, what role you’re playing (submissive or dominant), and how well your own natural personality matches up with your client. Sometimes you just know that you would never be friends with the person in real life...so it takes that much more effort to play your role and perform in your position in order to ensure that she or he, whichever your client is at that moment in time, enjoys themselves.
@@SeanShimamoto Your experiences & your learnings are very interesting to listen to
Where can I find a man like this! he's perfect
J L-S I thought just the same...these guys are like a needle in a haysack...I eventually will never find one, I'm afraid...
Hor
@Ivan good advice, thank you
Actually, I have a friend who looks very similar to him, but more like an elder version of him if you don't mind.
@@joehan8355 lucky you
He's really cute, very strong in his confidence, of course his honesty is just amazing.. I'm sure he's taken.. Nice of you to share your experience.:)
Beautiful and kind story.
Thanks for telling your story. People are people regardless of job. Thanks for your open mind.
loved the Grace Jones album cover in the background.
maxtheknife Portfolio.
😂
And Whitney Houston.
and the Divine plate on the wall!
This was a great video. I appreciated the views and things this gentleman had to say. Very thoughtful & thought-provoking.
Reminds me of Robin Williams.
There was something familiar watching his manner and cadence...yes that is it...
Shady boots.
That's the first thing I thought when I saw this clip! Lol!! Kept saying to myself, he reminds me of Robin Williams when he was younger.
With lisp?
@@shadowboxer2747
That sort of lisp is one I’ve definitely run into with gay and straight men from and around Louisiana.
i did the job you do. well, not fielding the 'calls' but working as an escort. i worked for 3 agencies in nyc--let's call them "Big Guns," "Top List," campus workers. i saw some of what you said--the "empathy," "outreaching," etc. but that was a minimal part of it. the men (& younger) seemed so happy that they might have found someone who would be into . . . well, them. & i was at my prime, then. the best compliment i ever got was somebody said "your'e outrageous!!!" & i thought . . . you know, that is exactly what i am. they loved me. me and that one guy met off the books. i made a lot of money. i was w/magazine publishers, tv anchors, bankers, who knows. they all always seemed to have a lot of money. some were creeps. but i always did nice 'favours' for them. i always figured, who knows, someday i might be in the same situation as them and i'd want somebody to do the same for me. . .
Great guy - so genuinly friendly, trustworthy and wise ... Maybe I'm wrong, but especially gay persons seem to have this sense of care and humanity and I appreciate that very much.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Needless to say, I'm aware that this is an older video however, the title of the video peaked my interest although the visual didn't seem to connect. Having said that, I'm glad I viewed the entire video I have always lived by the following "Never judge a book by it's cover" Wishing Ben, the best in all of his future endeavors......... Abrazos
What kind of backwater did this guy escape where Fredericksburg, VA was his safe haven destination as a gay man???
It’s changing
@Jaz Florida He said he's from New Iberia, LA. Trust me, VA is an escape. I'm from Ark. I know.
Hahahahah
Virginia, surprisingly, has become much better in recent years. I should know: I'm from North Carolina. Virginia used to be part of the Conservative craze that included basically anything below DC. While there are still pockets of rabid religious nutcases (mostly in mountain towns named Mosquitoville), the state has really turned itself around. They're still the worst drivers on the fucking planet, though!
Incredible human being. Glad I clicked 👏💯
Great story and yes he is a very handsome man inside and out it seems.
:We can all be a little bit damaged, but we can still take care of each other.”
Amen.
BTW, I’m originally from Northern Virginia.
What a neat guy. I like this person.
His lisp is adorable.
Now he works for RUclips. --so be careful
drives me up the wall.
My thoughts exactly
Thank you, Ben, I think you have discovered the key to real happiness: helping those we can with who we are. My experience confirms your conclusion that generally speaking, the members of the LGBTQ+ community are gifted with an extra dose of empathy. Love you, man............Ray
VERY INTERESTING TO LISTEN TO YOUR EXPERIENCE! VERY INSTRUCTIVE! AND...YES...KINDNESS IS SO VERY IMPORTANT IN THIS VERY CRUEL WORLD!
I’m still very much closeted ... and 62! But, if the “right man” shows up, I would probably yell it from the highest mountain (or at least from the roof top of my house...LOL) that I love a man and his name is ........ !
What you describe is exactly the way I felt when I first fell in love at 33. It was at that point I came out to myself (the most severe critic); the rest was easy
For new friends if I'm single I don't need to tell people I'm gay since I've no significant other to talk about. But if I'm seeing someone it's easy enough. Straight single people don't come out as straight do they? Hopefully as homosexuality becomes less taboo, coming out won't be a thing anymore - kind of like people don't to "come out" to society and confess if their baby was out born of wedlock or if they are a divorcee etc (shock horror)
Byron get out there. I'm 54 my partner of 10 was killed in an auto accident. Life is not over get out there LIVE and love. YES LOSS HURTS but it was worth the LOVE.
M Dawson Yes... I agree. There’s nothing that compares to truly loving someone and that love is returned equally. The intimacy and passion unlike anything else on earth.
My lover broke up with me after 25 years, anyone want to go on a date? lol.
Awesome interview! Incredible thoughts and reflection!
Great story. An intelligent, well spoken and adorably handsome man.
Love his honesty, sincerity and kind nature.
As a partner or good friend he would be a treasure. Would very much like to know a man like this..
Thank you for sharing this.
I'm so afraid my family and work will find out.
Tks so much to share your story !! Kisses from Brazil
What a beautiful man. Gorgeous soul and stunning energy. x
Great message ❤️
i loved hearing this story of empathy.
The way he said "engagements"
Handsome guy!..sensible..enlightened obviously educated..sensitive and emphatic to others..appreciative mild mannered..decent..I could just go on..The experience did turn him into that well grounded being that he is..
I really enjoyed watching this. Very meaningful and touching.
Thanks for sharing. You seem like a really kind and genuine person. And handsome as well!
I'm so proud to be part of the 21st century. Love and empathy finally triumphed more than hate ❤️ Revolutions are possible🏳️🌈
Love that Whitney Houston album in the background!
And the Grace Jones one too in the background.
Really nice. Thank you for sharing.
You have enlightened me.
He said deviant behavior which I find troublesome. Who are we to judge others?
I thought the same thing -- a term indicating judgment thrown into a really empathetic presentation. It stuck out. But I think he is a good man.
No, please understand that “deviant” used in a sociological manner (he said his degree was in sociology) is merely a descriptor for those people or actions that fall outside the “norms” for elements of society. Think “deviation” from the norm. Perhaps it was an imprecise way to describe something, or wrong term, but i would almost guarantee he was referring to a clinical analysis and measurements and not a personal opinion.
You seem to be a lovely man. Wishing you a great life!!
Thank you.. Happy Christmas Weekend. I hope you have been very good in your career.
I know this comment may be labelled as "discriminatory", but I do really think our gay people, on average (depends on how you define average), are kinder than straight guys. It would be more likely and easy for us to show sympathy to others who have awful or even miserable experiences.
Who else clicked on this thinking they were going to hear some juicy life as an escort stories?
I mean, I don't understand why people who do sex work are so demeaned and undervalued by societies. They provide very necessary therapy for people who are clearly hurting emotionally, who are clearly aching for human connection. I'm glad he learned that at his first job.
By far the most inspiring
This is a lovely story. An innovative way to get to D.C.
Interesting story.
I guess I'm the only one who noticed that he still referred to both sides of the gay escort transaction as "deviant behavior."
That was my worry too KC..My comment'''' I would have preferred if you hadn't used the ''Deviant " word , its just ''Humanity'' doing its thing.''''
This guy is well spoken and interesting to listen too.
Such a nice guy! I'm in love 😍
For the few of you who felt the need to put down this well-spoken, handsome guy Ben...don't be so quick to jump to misguided conclusions based on one short video. Ben is now a talented videographer (no, not that kind), and you can find his videos on his Vimeo channel and Facebook.
I grew up the same way in North Louisiana
What a beautiful man!
I do...I reach out to vulnerable gay men and older gay men and support them
Jesus said " thieves and prostitutes are entering the kingdom ahead of the self righteous,"..his experience says it all
Uplifting
You are a wise and very pleasant man. It was interesting listening to you.
I knew someone who was involved with the sex worker business vis-a-vis healthcare services. She told the story of a straight sex worker who was paid $2,000 every month to have a two-hour dinner with a wealthy CEO and just talk - because the CEO said she was the only person who listened and understood him. No sex ever took place.
Please, I want to meet him. He's adorable.
A very touching story
He's so adorable!😍
very cool story. well-told, smart and savvy guy!
Thanks for the post I like your honesty God bless medical campus Malaysia.✌❤
Wow! What a amazing story.
Cheers Bro.
Be safe wear the mask 🇨🇦
I hate it when people speak of "the south" like that. Atlanta, GA is one of the gayest cities in America.
I just have to ask, are you in a relationship? I think I’m smitten.
he is so skillful in glorifying shady things, i´m in awe.
i know-maybe that's due to his area of study
I don't see anything inherently shady about giving pleasure to another person who may not otherwise have any, even if you're being paid to do it. If an escort decides to do something shady during the engagement it's a different matter. Some obviously are, but not all escorts do shady things.
And you're so skillful at virtue signaling that we should address you as Prudence McPrude, the Mayor of Prudietown.
Darren Ü "glorifying"?
Sex work is not shady. It’s honorable
What a great message!
Just goes to show you that everything isn't always what it seems.
because what you see, isn't always the truth...
I would have preferred if you hadn't used the ''Deviant " word , its just ''Humanity'' doing its thing.
What a lovely man......He can help me in any way that he wants to......!
beltalowda And why would he help you?! What's in it for him? Don't forget, sex is the most selfish act there is. Would you have sex with someone you didn't fancy, just to do them a help them and do them a favour? Only prostitutes have sex with just about anyone as long as they get paid.
That was not what I expected. But was pleasantly surprised to learn that its not just about sex.