I also want to mention that I personally feel like a lot of these guidelines can be broken depending on the age of the characters. If the characters are teenagers, for example, then it would make sense that th ey might not understand how to properly flirt, and it may come off as as rude, overly assertive, or even malicious. I know that sounds strange, but kids are strange. So long as they have th arc of improving themselves, that is.
@@akale2620 right? My biggest criticism of the people hating on Ani’s dialogue is that … he’s a 19yo who spent the last decade raised by a celibate monk. The whininess, the terrible flirtation attempts? Absolutely spot-on. 😂
The only long love confession that worked for me was Frollo's confession to Esmeralda in Hunchback of Notre Dame. At that point, he never lets her give an answer to him and simply spits his feelings onto her. But since his love confession is also an actual confession about killing the man Esmeralda loves, it works.
Same! Hence why a lot of my own characters leen more towards the 'marbles in their brain' end of the flirt spectrum. Not all of them mind you, but there's definately a leaning... ^_^"
Thank you! I want a slow burn romance but it’s so hard because I’ve written both my characters as closed off and one is actually quite stoic. This definitely helped
Love a good slow burn ❤️🔥 but yeah.... Communication is key, but hard when you write characters that don't. I once wrote myself into a corner where a character didn't get it (the romance) and it was funny... At first, but then I couldn't think of a way to get to the actual romance.
This channel has saved me from myself. Sometimes I look back at my "dialog" and notice just how amazingly bad it is. It's not perfect now, but lightyears ahead of where it was.
One of the most romantic lines in my story is a very short sentence that, when taken out of context, doesn't resemble a romantic line at all. And it's this: "You lead, I follow." But when it's surrounded by the rest of the story, it makes a lot more sense-this line is being spoken by a guy whose primary character trait is a love of freedom and originality. He's a frequent Causer Of Problems because he has a bone-deep hatred of listening to anyone trying to order him around. He likes doing whatever he wants, he likes defying people, and he likes feeling like he, alone, is in control of what he does. Eventually, he and his love interest wind up isolated from the rest of the group in a dark area, and he utters this line while handing off the lantern. Something he wouldn't do or say if he was with anyone else. I've always been a sucker for characters saying "I love you" without actually *saying* that and it crops up many times in my stories, whether it's meant to be romantic, platonic, familial, whatever. There are a million ways to say "I love you" and I will find and write all of them (if I can).
Now that sounds like something I would read! The romantic line in my story is, "Hold on." And near the end, when both characters are in the sky and only one of them is going to survive unless one lets go of the weight is, "Let go."
That's indeed a good line, it's about trust. I consider myself as a nerd and also my heros are nerds, so this is something they would likely say. Actually i'm planning side characters - some kind of warrior cats - and i will try something else for them. 😻
TBF I always feel like I'm being selective... But I'm a slut for flirty duologue-why is the villain coming on to the hero of this epic fantasy... Idk, but it's working for me 😂
I have a scene with a male character talking to his love interest about other women in his past and he's at a loss for how to explain why it is that he never had any sincere interest in them. After some moments of frustration, he gives up and simply says, "But none of them was _you."_ To which she responds, "You say the nicest things."
Love the last tip. Sometimes figuring out voice is the hardest thing, especially for me when trying to write a guy. It's funny because I always thought I don't want to write romance, but now everything I do ends up with that as a major part of the story and it's actually fun. Currently working on a short story in Korean that's main focus is on a relationship and then have another fun idea and a few words types for a full length novel in English in my head that I keep playing scenes of and I've written some down.
@@tylerharrell9862 I know. How dare my characters decide to fall in love. They were supposed to be friends. Lol, jk of course. It's funny how we create these characters and then they just take a life of their own. Non-writers think I'm insane and my husband just nods his head :)
While I agree that a nervous wreck who’s horrible with words suddenly saying something incredibly smooth would break my suspension of disbelief I’m a nervous wreck who’s horrible with words and once my partner said something about how someone was three points hotter than them and I said “oh no! But thirteen is an unlucky number!” so I think whoever’s writing this world we live in doesn’t care very much about consistent character voices
The lines from kids' Valentine's Day cards would sound less cliched than the one-liners mentioned in that first tip (not to mention they'd be way funnier if used in adult movies).
I actually would find it funny to see a book where those overused terms are used intentionally, because the character doesn’t know how to express himself and just simply googles for help and then just thinks that he completely messed up and tries to explain it to the person he used them on and that person just simply laughs and wants to go on a date with them because of the situation.
I dont feel like that would be too terrible if her eyes ACTUALLY WERE brown. A little weird, yeah, but so long as the execution isnt harmful the intention is what matters.
I feel like I can do better than that with 0 experience in romance "You're like nutella. Just the perfect amount of Sweet and I feel like I can't get enough of you. And you make my bad mood go away"
My favorite part of my character’s love confession is that his crush asks to kiss him on the cheek so he panics and sets his arm on fire. Sounds bad out of context, but he has fire magic
Very good advices, thanks. I find it easier to describe breakups than flirting, personally. Kind of challenging because my MC is a flirt and sometimes a bit of a cad (he has no scruple to cheat on his girlfriends and he likes married women). To go round to it I often depict him already in a relationship, when the flirting has been done. But the few times I've written the flirting it's been great fun.
In crafting a romance between my character and her first love, I figured out what her end-game needed to learn. I'm so happy that I know for sure what his arch is now. Edit: Her first love is very good at laughing at himself and at situations in general, while her end-game takes things much too seriously. His language is way more sophisticated than it needs to be considering his culture, his position dictates a certain level of professionality- but not the level to which he usually takes it- and he has a hard time with taking situations and life in general much too seriously. He's almost stiff, to start out. However, as he and the main character get closer, he admires the ease with which she finds humor in difficult situations and in her mistakes. Once he sees it, he starts to emulate it and try to become more like that endearing, fun part of her that he admires. His language slowly comes down to the level of the people around him, and he slowly starts to loosen up.' I'm so grateful for this contrasting character I was able to write, because I never would have seen what he needed until I wrote the scene with her first love.
She's back...And better than ever. Thank you for the point about oceans. Such passages aren't totally useless (they could be used to induce vomiting in an emergency), but enough are already in existence.
I cringe when I write really romantic stuff so I just get my characters to say something like “As much as you piss me off, I still happen to love you. Unfortunately.” or just turn a big moment into a fluffy relaxed situation rather than a grand event
Catwoman: Hey, vampire fanboy, want something hot, tight and purring in the old batcave tonight? Batman (swooning): Oh, why yes, where have you been all my life?
I grew up in the 1980s, and left handedness was still seen as something that needed to be "cured". One of my teachers called my mom into a conference to complain about my constant daydreaming in class, and she suggested that if I could be "trained" to write with my right hand, I could focus better in class. My mom responded by telling my teacher that if she could find a way to make her lessons more interesting, maybe I would naturally pay more attention, and that her daughter is who she is and she accepts her completely and loves her unconditionally. There is no need for correction, and she would not hear anymore complaints unless I did something wrong in the class. I was a curious, respectful, and shy child, and I was afraid of being scolded, so I never acted out in class and mostly kept to myself. My mother never got another complaint from that teacher again after that discussion. There wasn't anything real to complain about. And I never stopped daydreaming. Maybe education should strive to nurture the child's true nature and honor diversity while honoring diversity and engendering a sense of mutual respect and empathy. Encourage them to find the gift they have to give to the world and help them give that. But that's not happening in American education today.
One of my favorite (probably unintentionally) flirting dialog is from kid normal and the shadow machine: (for context Angel has the power to copy others powers and Murph currently has the power of flight) Murph: If I can fly, so can you! Angel: of course, I’m just as good as the hero next to me. Murph: aren’t we all.
Haha, I had a character (not very good at social stuff, but very skilled at a variety of other things, including combat/murder) attempt to flirt by offering to teach another how to kill by strangulation. That was one of those things that I didn't plan, but it came out in a writing session and I decided to roll with it because it fit the concept of the character. I would say that I'm a plantser, generally planning the broad strokes of the story and some of the stuff about the world before I begin writing, then staying flexible during the process for smaller details that just seem to work.
It's amazing what comes out of a character seemingly of its own volition. In my primary story, a girl is talking to a guy on the phone that they know is being monitored by a hostile government when she forgets and almost says something she shouldnt say, so the guy yells the word "ACHOO!" to interrupt her. I didnt plan this. I didnt even think of this possibility until I was already typing it. It was amazing. It was like the character stepped into my body and wrote the line himself.
my favourite trope is when they both know they love each other., they said it countless times but there's something stopping them from being together then finally, in the highest of tensions they confess and everything is great.
I am an asexual and not interested in someone depending on me, so I probably won't be in a relationship for a very long time (if ever), so when it came to a character flirting with my mc, I was drawing blanks like "UHH..." because I had never flirted before 🤣So thank you for this awesome video! I found it through your kissing vid :)
Aaaaah a whole month of romance~ I'm so stocked! ♥♥♥ and a great kick off with romantic banter yaay~ I must confess to having some cheese in my romantic dialogue, but it is by choice damnit XD Just a smidgen. Who doesn't like cheese?
I'm awful at recognising flirting and such, but apparently I'm good enough that even my older sister (we're a Christian family) recognised that my main character and his (male) best friend should've been in love. It wasn't what I was going for in that story but because of that I included a hint that they'd get together eventually (and in the sequel I just started they're dating)
The thing I love about your videos is that your persona swings from the smartest person on the planet dishing out facts, to the worlds most irritating person, and the change is seamless! It's just perfect.
I have been looking into getting back into writing for a while now, and for the past couple weeks I've listened to some of your videos. I've been writing down some of your tips along with observations from books I enjoy. How each author introduces their character, or how they tackle getting across a character's...character, without outright saying it. As an individual on the spectrum, and with major ADHD, conversations are a struggle, although I've always been better at them if I've had a bit of time to think of how to approach it. And the same goes with characters, although working out how to get there, I realize I've been taking shortcuts. While not the only inspiration, your lists have definitly been encouraging some of that fire that I've neglected for some time, to reawaken. RUclips can be a hellscape sometimes, but I really enjoy having authors giving some tips that feel organic, and attainable. Thanks for being one of them. (Not wholy pertaining to just romance dialouge but in general for your character dialouge videos.)
I think the best flirtatious dialogue I've heard was actually in Kingkiller chronical: Wise man's Fear when the MC takes his love interest to a field full of flowers and tells her, "I've been waiting a long time to show them how beautiful you are"
A little late on my part, but thanks for the video! You offer some really solid advice and you have a great sense of humor. (I damn near cried at "the flaccid peen of the writing world.") I'll definitely be binging some more of your romance videos in the near future as I work on my novel!
One of my favorite lines I wrote in my manuscript really drives home MC2's personality. He looks at MC1 and says "May I kiss you?" I think it's sweet, especially knowing what I know (and hopefully my readers will know and sympathize).
I got my notebook out. I am watching the stuff you were saying and your videos how to make a book I’m making a book about Everett High School and myself and also High School invoice.
Hi! Just stumbled across this video, expecting to find the usual vague, obvious same shit that everyone says like ‘keep tension- characters shouldn’t actually cross that line for a long time’ or ‘lingering touches/glances’ but damn, you actually gave entirely thought provoking and helpful specific advice which is ridiculously hard to come by. Count me in- you have my attention and I’m here to stay. Subscribing without a doubt
You are the absolute best. When I discover I am already following what you suggest my smile could not be bigger and there might be a fist in the air accompanied by a "YES!!"
I hate cliches in romantic dialogue. I’d rather the character say they don’t know how to express their love than say something cliche like “I love you more than all the stars in the sky”
Extremely off topic, but I really like that lip color. Edit to add something more on topic: Betraying the character's voice is exactly why I can never marry Vilkas in Skyrim. For him to go from a grumpy werewolf warrior who acts first and apologizes later, to "I'd like to open a shop, my love!" absolutely killed any romantic tension my character built up with him. It made me feel awkward and embarrassed. Now try that in a book, where a reader doesn't have the option to CHOOSE what happens. Gonna have to say character voice is THE most important thing on this list, hands down.
EYYY I'm early I think Also thank you so much for this. As a basement crab who doesn't have much interest in romantic relationships at the moment and hasn't ever been in one before, I really suck at romantic dialogue And dialogue in general
My sensitivity reader for female characters say I overuse the “Spicy Latina” trope for my Blue “Ranger” and her mom. She said it’s effective if that’s what I wanted. 😅
Good to have you back, Jenna. Obnoxiously long running commentary GO! 1. The power couple in my book don't officially get together till after the halfway mark, but the set-up is very simple: leading lady's dad treats male love interest like crap, leading lady feels super guilty--like it's HER fault, which it isn't--leading lady says, "I love you," and kisses him. Bam. But he's not able to return the gesture till a little later. Like a week or so. 2. Well, okay, she gets to the "I love you" mostly by crying and repeatedly apologizing for what just happened between love interest and racist-as-f*ck daddy, and it's DEFINITELY in her nature to be self-deprecating, but he's rather out-of-character in the moment because of what just went down, and he didn't know she loved him before then. They'd flirted, had a few deeper conversations, and done a little bit of the "staring longingly but fleetingly into one another's eyes" shit, but mood-wise, he kind of goes from one extreme to the other in this scene. For a bit. He goes back to being pissed about racist daddy later on when he's alone, to the effect of, "I drove home faster than was probably okay, my blood pressure way too high...but she said she loved me. You'd think that would make a difference, but I'm not sure yet." He doesn't blame HER for what her dad did, but he IS pissed off. 3. Well no. Not in my first instance here. It's only after they're alone and together and, in Vicky's case, out from under her father's foot, that they're much more properly able to communicate their emotions. The first instance is too much of a shock to his system, for one thing, but for another, as I say, they're both really upset at this point, so that cloud is hanging over the whole situation. And Jeremy is NOT a shy man, either, but he's not about to start sucking face with a minor on her father's own driveway. He's 18 at this point and Vicky's still 17. 4. Okay, now this is before the racist-ass dad scene, but Jeremy goes a LITTLE overboard with this at times. Vicky's really shy, unlike him, and also extremely sheltered (hyper-conservative Southern Baptist upbringing), while he was raised in a VERY open-minded community, and is also a Unitarian Universalist, which I only just learned a little while ago is NOT a sect of Christianity. I thought it was. Thanks, Internet. But anyway, he never, EVER tries to even so much as touch her hand without her permission, but a lot of it is in how he talks and even how he dresses. He's pretty much instantly attracted to her--he likes redheads--and starts to peacock a bit for her after just the second day of knowing one another. It KIND OF goes over her head for a bit, and when he notices that, he tones it down and goes in the "just friends" direction...which paradoxically loosens her up in terms of her trust level. he still teases her a lot, though. 5. Jeremy Creek is the anti Edward Cullen an anti Christian Grey. THANK YOU. Because ew. 6. Which is why the confession doesn't come till halfway through on her part, an just over halfway through on his part. I'm trying my best not to be creepy here, too: like I say, she's still a minor, and he's not, so they don't get much past kissing and petting, at least in the first book. And YEEEEEEEEEEES, I'm sorry, they do get married eventually, but no one else in the book marries their high school sweetheart. 7. His goes on for longer than hers because he's all distraught and feeling guilty about what happens at the climax, but now feeling MUCH safer and more confident around him than she did before, she basically puts a stop to his shit, and he gets there eventually. He's prone to a guilty conscience, just like she is, but a lot goes down that is resoundingly not his fault, OR her fault, and by this point in the narrative, she's able to see that, so she basically tells him to cut the crap, and kiss her like he means it. This is later than the first "I love you" kiss, by the way. Few chapters. 8. Vicky is NOT smooth--this is her first romance ever--and Jeremy is only smooth with other guys. He's bi and he's had one boyfriend and one girlfriend before now, but he only ever slept with the other guy. He's less sheltered than Vicky, like I say, but he lacks confidence especially in this situation, because he doesn't want to go too far and either offend her or scare her. Awkward can still be real, though: deciding together on parameters, realizing that, hey, the other person is on my same wavelength, sweet!--and so forth. I FEEL like that could be realistic, anyway. Oh, and he PREWTTY MUCH insists on them being equals in the relationship, which takes her totally off-guard because, in the culture she was raised in, the woman is pretty much the man's servant, certainly not his equal. And it takes at least till the end of the second book for her to feel comfortable with that. Gradual transition feels real to me, too: his community is more or less undoing her entire life's worth of conditioning. 9. Nope. Not yet on this one. She's not ready, and he knows it. And she knows he knows, so it's not a huge deal for them. I CONSIDERED having them have pre-marital sex at the end of the second book, but I don't think I'm going to do that now. Like I say, she was raised in a family so hyper-conservative that it was almost its own little insular cult--daddy's a pastor--so I REALLY don't think she would go for sex out of wedlock. And Jeremy wouldn't make her, because he only plays the bad boy on TV. That's not his real personality. 10. TO BE FAIR, at the middle-to-end of the second book, they're going to prom together, and he sees her all dressed up for the first time, and he's just like, "Uhh...is this a bad time for an awkward boner?" XD I haven't written any of this yet, but I have it planned out. At that point, though, she used to his sense of humour, so he's only pretending to be awkward around her. This is...like...six month after the original book ends? Yeah, actually: December to June. First book ends with Christmas and second book ends with Vicky's younger brother getting Jeremy in the water again for the first time in almost three years. The poor kid's dad drowned, so he's been afraid of the water ever since, despite living just a short walk from the ocean. He CAN swim, but chooses not to. And throughout my books, I associate Jeremy most with fire and Stephen--the brother--most with water.
Make sure the self deprecating stuff is well done, if your leading lady is just a crying pick me mess you'll annoy your audience. Give her personality outside being just desperate for a man to love her and you'll be good.
@@caiolucas8257, she's not desperate for a man to love her, and CERTAINLY not this man, or at least not at first. She considers him--at first--dangerous, because he's not whit, and her whole "purpose in life" is to finish high school, and marry a man her father will probably end up finding for her, who would specifically be a man very much like the father himself. he KNOWS that's what she's supposed to do, but she also wants to go to college, even though she's been trained to think it's a waste of valuable breeding years, and she wants to make new friends, and she's in love with learning in general, so she wants to LIVE, you know? A more real and fuller life than her culture wants to offer her. All this while still being devoted to her family, which becomes kind of difficult when daddy turns abusive.
I remember watching a clip from the notebook when Noah threatens suicide to the girl, Ellie, to go on a date with him even though she said no and she's already on a date with someone else. That's not romantic, that's just creepy and someone needs to call the cops.
A thing to remember is that when people are in love with someone and they don't know if they are loved back, they don't say very much at all. Unless your 'romance' is coming after they find each other on a hookup app (that's not a romance, it's a CSI episode), that is going to be true of most romances. If you have fallen head over heels for someone, the last thing you want is to be blurting out cheesy one-liners, or anything at all. You are mostly hoping to god that they say or do something that indicates they like you too, which they are not going to be doing if they have fallen for you too. Both people are now important to the other so they are not making any sudden moves or stupid statements. Subtle is the word of the day. Unless you have long term friends to lovers, there should be no confession of love. Someone saying, "I love you", should be an affirmation all other times. I mean hopefully you are not writing high school romances, but that is the only time confessions ever happen in real life, largely because they are too ignorant to know better. Also, if your characters are curled up in bed together, any confession is again, not a confession, but an affirmation of something that should already be apparent...assuming you are writing romance and not a CSI episode. Think about it this way, imagine you just finished an all nighter with your favorite someone, and you breath out, "I love you" and they suddenly look at you like you made a surprise confession. At that moment you just became a one of two things youtube will delete my comment for if I type it. Spoiler alert, there isn't going to be a happy ending.
A person is know keeps lecturing me that “essay writing and creative writing are the same”. I need confirmation that they’re not before I devalue my self worth.
The lives were a really cool alternative to videos- I thought it was really find I haven’t had co workers or co creators since march 2020- so it was really fun to participate
My autistic ass doesn't do flirting. My characters go from friends to lover without any flirting ever (I guess so? Maybe they are flirting, maybe I don't see it lol)
Say you love me or i say i love you without saying it is my way of doing things.. or in this case it is as i am writing a little story to get these toughs out of my head..
Can you do how to write group scenarios like 6 people in a conversation and how to know how many people of that group are participating at the moment and how to know?
Hey, I've been watching Jenna's videos for a while now and I think she's pretty good. I'm thinking about checking out her book too, the savior's champion, but I'm still not sure, has anyone else here read her books?
for my tentative story, my main character (M) is both inexperienced and dispassionate about romance throughout the beginning to the midpoint, but not oblivious either. to me, i thought of the main character taking a path of tackling an instance of a potential intimate moment from another with disinterest before he develops curiosity and self-awareness after his first genuine confession. also, for any signs of blatant affection early on, it'll either be deflected or dismissed due to his hopeless background until his indifference of intimacy is shaped during the story's midpoint. is this acceptable? or tolerable at the very least? (also romance is not the focal point and moreso a subplot)
#1(Cliched One-Liners): If I have Fumiko or Thargilit use any of these, it'll be because they're ignorant about how to properly court someone (especially from another culture) and are getting bad advice. Fumiko's never dated anyone before and her knowledge on romance mostly comes from her sister's favorite romance movies, while Thargilit's only previous relationship was an arranged marriage, leaving her equally ignorant about how the romance process works if her parents aren't doing the work for her They would also quickly realize that it isn't the best way to go about it and share a good laugh at their own expense. #2(Understand the Character): Fumiko is a shy introvert and Thargilit is an introvert who had to learn how to fake being an extrovert. #3(Don't Focus on the Romance): I haven't gotten to writing yet, but I'm going in with the attitude of "How would these two characters interact in the current situation?" #4(Know What Flirting Is): Neither Fumiko nor Thargilit have much interest in flirting with someone they barely know or knowledge on how to flirt properly. The exact way they'd flirt with each other is going to be dependent on what their relationship was like leading up to them developing a romantic interest in each other, their respective personalities, and what they think would make the other laugh or smile. #5(Know What Flirting Isn't): Neither of them are the type of person who'd be intentionally domineering or patronizing. They're the type of people who'd try to customize their flirting to fit the personality and interests of their love interest. #6(Read the Room): I'm fully intending on putting in the work needed to establish a relationship between them, especially because they've both been hurt before and would want to make sure that they trust the other one enough to be vulnerable around them before expressing their love. Their flirting will be saved for lulls between the action when they aren't busy fighting for their survival or someone else's. There might be a love confession during a fight, but it would be when (1) they have the chance to take a quick break from the fighting long enough for the confession to happen, (2) they know the plot is about to separate them for awhile, and (3) they have reason to believe there's a good chance of one or both of them dying and this might be their last chance to confess. Then again, the love confession could happen somewhere they're not in immediate danger. #7(Keep It Simple): The love confession would probably be something as simple as: "I love you." "I love you, too." *hug* #8(Realism is the Antidote to Cheese): As long as I remember to keep everyone in character, I should be able to pull this off. If there is cheesy romantic dialogue, it'll likely be Fumiko trying to imitate how the characters in one of her sister's romance movies would flirt, realizing it's super cheesy and no real person talks like that, and either apologizing for screwing up or making a self-deprecating joke depending on the circumstances. #9(Sexy is Subjective): The sexy dialogue between Fumiko and Thargilit will be whatever they find sexy. #10(Adjust Accordingly): I already intend on having Fumiko's and Thargilit's dialogue fit their personalities, where they currently are in their character arcs and the romance arc, and whatever situation they find themselves in.
9:09 I would actually kind of want to subvert this by having the confessor start rambling off, and just as the reader's about to roll their eyes have the receiver's internal monolog interrupt with... "Wow it was a train wreck! I got what he was trying to say, and I really should have stopped him long before this point, but it was so cheesy and sweet that I just couldn't. Plus there was certain charm to watching him try and fail so hard, like Mr. Bean.... if he were young, sexy and blond."
If you want hilarious (bad) romance, read Nicholas Sparks’ “True Believer” (I love his later stuff though). He meets the girl for the first time in a cemetery- direct quote: “Her skin, with just a hint of olive skin, made makeup unnecessary” And, “from a distance, [her eyes] appeared almost violet” - like bro, violet eyes is a specific condition, but also, they were outside. What kind of super sight do you have? Towards the end, they go on an official date: “For makeup, she did the best with what she had, applying a touch of blush to her cheeks, eyeliner, and lipstick.” Over my dead body am I not putting on mascara or picking it over eyeliner. Blush isn’t even necessary most of the time.
I also want to mention that I personally feel like a lot of these guidelines can be broken depending on the age of the characters. If the characters are teenagers, for example, then it would make sense that th ey might not understand how to properly flirt, and it may come off as as rude, overly assertive, or even malicious. I know that sounds strange, but kids are strange. So long as they have th arc of improving themselves, that is.
I love growth and arcs like this 😁 I might play with this idea sometime
So you like sand?
@@akale2620 I don't like sand, it's course and rough, and it gets everywhere
@@akale2620 right? My biggest criticism of the people hating on Ani’s dialogue is that … he’s a 19yo who spent the last decade raised by a celibate monk. The whininess, the terrible flirtation attempts? Absolutely spot-on. 😂
@@rivendells_shona yes
The only long love confession that worked for me was Frollo's confession to Esmeralda in Hunchback of Notre Dame. At that point, he never lets her give an answer to him and simply spits his feelings onto her. But since his love confession is also an actual confession about killing the man Esmeralda loves, it works.
My favorite romantic relationship dynamic is "Look at those adorable idiots."🥰
Same! Hence why a lot of my own characters leen more towards the 'marbles in their brain' end of the flirt spectrum. Not all of them mind you, but there's definately a leaning... ^_^"
Thank you! I want a slow burn romance but it’s so hard because I’ve written both my characters as closed off and one is actually quite stoic. This definitely helped
Love a good slow burn ❤️🔥 but yeah....
Communication is key, but hard when you write characters that don't.
I once wrote myself into a corner where a character didn't get it (the romance) and it was funny... At first, but then I couldn't think of a way to get to the actual romance.
This channel has saved me from myself. Sometimes I look back at my "dialog" and notice just how amazingly bad it is. It's not perfect now, but lightyears ahead of where it was.
One of the most romantic lines in my story is a very short sentence that, when taken out of context, doesn't resemble a romantic line at all. And it's this: "You lead, I follow."
But when it's surrounded by the rest of the story, it makes a lot more sense-this line is being spoken by a guy whose primary character trait is a love of freedom and originality. He's a frequent Causer Of Problems because he has a bone-deep hatred of listening to anyone trying to order him around. He likes doing whatever he wants, he likes defying people, and he likes feeling like he, alone, is in control of what he does. Eventually, he and his love interest wind up isolated from the rest of the group in a dark area, and he utters this line while handing off the lantern. Something he wouldn't do or say if he was with anyone else. I've always been a sucker for characters saying "I love you" without actually *saying* that and it crops up many times in my stories, whether it's meant to be romantic, platonic, familial, whatever. There are a million ways to say "I love you" and I will find and write all of them (if I can).
That's absolutely amazing!
Now that sounds like something I would read!
The romantic line in my story is, "Hold on." And near the end, when both characters are in the sky and only one of them is going to survive unless one lets go of the weight is, "Let go."
That's indeed a good line, it's about trust. I consider myself as a nerd and also my heros are nerds, so this is something they would likely say. Actually i'm planning side characters - some kind of warrior cats - and i will try something else for them. 😻
To be frank, while I'm selective when is about romance. I've been thinking that flirting dialogue or banter could be really fun to write.
TBF I always feel like I'm being selective... But I'm a slut for flirty duologue-why is the villain coming on to the hero of this epic fantasy... Idk, but it's working for me 😂
@@tylerharrell9862 Everyone have standarts. 👍
But you're not Frank, you're Maria.
@@stevemcgroob4446 ok, Steve, very cool
I have a scene with a male character talking to his love interest about other women in his past and he's at a loss for how to explain why it is that he never had any sincere interest in them. After some moments of frustration, he gives up and simply says, "But none of them was _you."_ To which she responds, "You say the nicest things."
Love the last tip. Sometimes figuring out voice is the hardest thing, especially for me when trying to write a guy. It's funny because I always thought I don't want to write romance, but now everything I do ends up with that as a major part of the story and it's actually fun. Currently working on a short story in Korean that's main focus is on a relationship and then have another fun idea and a few words types for a full length novel in English in my head that I keep playing scenes of and I've written some down.
I also have this issue... No love stories in my novel during the outline... Then surprise chemistry makes my story a rom-com.
@@tylerharrell9862 I know. How dare my characters decide to fall in love. They were supposed to be friends. Lol, jk of course. It's funny how we create these characters and then they just take a life of their own. Non-writers think I'm insane and my husband just nods his head :)
My protagonists are forced together and they SUUUUUCK at flirting. His future self is watching and says “what the hell is wrong with you two?”
While I agree that a nervous wreck who’s horrible with words suddenly saying something incredibly smooth would break my suspension of disbelief I’m a nervous wreck who’s horrible with words and once my partner said something about how someone was three points hotter than them and I said “oh no! But thirteen is an unlucky number!” so I think whoever’s writing this world we live in doesn’t care very much about consistent character voices
The lines from kids' Valentine's Day cards would sound less cliched than the one-liners mentioned in that first tip (not to mention they'd be way funnier if used in adult movies).
"F*** me! I'm Irish!" ;o)
I actually would find it funny to see a book where those overused terms are used intentionally, because the character doesn’t know how to express himself and just simply googles for help and then just thinks that he completely messed up and tries to explain it to the person he used them on and that person just simply laughs and wants to go on a date with them because of the situation.
“your hands are good” LOLOLOLOL JENNA IM DYING
this is lowkey lesbian culture and I love it
@@renkeeling LOL I'm so glad you like it
@@renkeelingfrfr
Don’t do the single worst pickup line I’ve read
“Your eyes are like Nutella” the girl didn’t even have brown eyes
Sweet, nice to put on a pancake, and some people would eat them with a spoon?
I dont feel like that would be too terrible if her eyes ACTUALLY WERE brown. A little weird, yeah, but so long as the execution isnt harmful the intention is what matters.
I feel like I can do better than that with 0 experience in romance
"You're like nutella. Just the perfect amount of Sweet and I feel like I can't get enough of you. And you make my bad mood go away"
"The flacid peen of the writing world." Damn, when Jenna tells us to be original, that ain't all just talk, she backs it up.
You made that line even funnier than it already was, somehow. I commend you greatly.
My favorite part of my character’s love confession is that his crush asks to kiss him on the cheek so he panics and sets his arm on fire. Sounds bad out of context, but he has fire magic
Very good advices, thanks. I find it easier to describe breakups than flirting, personally. Kind of challenging because my MC is a flirt and sometimes a bit of a cad (he has no scruple to cheat on his girlfriends and he likes married women). To go round to it I often depict him already in a relationship, when the flirting has been done. But the few times I've written the flirting it's been great fun.
In crafting a romance between my character and her first love, I figured out what her end-game needed to learn. I'm so happy that I know for sure what his arch is now.
Edit: Her first love is very good at laughing at himself and at situations in general, while her end-game takes things much too seriously. His language is way more sophisticated than it needs to be considering his culture, his position dictates a certain level of professionality- but not the level to which he usually takes it- and he has a hard time with taking situations and life in general much too seriously. He's almost stiff, to start out. However, as he and the main character get closer, he admires the ease with which she finds humor in difficult situations and in her mistakes. Once he sees it, he starts to emulate it and try to become more like that endearing, fun part of her that he admires. His language slowly comes down to the level of the people around him, and he slowly starts to loosen up.'
I'm so grateful for this contrasting character I was able to write, because I never would have seen what he needed until I wrote the scene with her first love.
She's back...And better than ever.
Thank you for the point about oceans. Such passages aren't totally useless (they could be used to induce vomiting in an emergency), but enough are already in existence.
" Marbles in their brain " Lol !! I laughed for a whole minute on this. It makes me want to write a character like this.
I cringe when I write really romantic stuff so I just get my characters to say something like “As much as you piss me off, I still happen to love you. Unfortunately.” or just turn a big moment into a fluffy relaxed situation rather than a grand event
at this point, Jenna, you are my savior😆 you always bring topics that i'm struggling with :P THANK YOU!!!!
Outstanding. Number 4 and 5, men writing women pay attention. Actually pay attention to the whole thing.
Catwoman: Hey, vampire fanboy, want something hot, tight and purring in the old batcave tonight?
Batman (swooning): Oh, why yes, where have you been all my life?
Edward: "I like to watch you sleep in your bed."
Bella giggles.
I grew up in the 1980s, and left handedness was still seen as something that needed to be "cured". One of my teachers called my mom into a conference to complain about my constant daydreaming in class, and she suggested that if I could be "trained" to write with my right hand, I could focus better in class. My mom responded by telling my teacher that if she could find a way to make her lessons more interesting, maybe I would naturally pay more attention, and that her daughter is who she is and she accepts her completely and loves her unconditionally. There is no need for correction, and she would not hear anymore complaints unless I did something wrong in the class. I was a curious, respectful, and shy child, and I was afraid of being scolded, so I never acted out in class and mostly kept to myself. My mother never got another complaint from that teacher again after that discussion. There wasn't anything real to complain about. And I never stopped daydreaming. Maybe education should strive to nurture the child's true nature and honor diversity while honoring diversity and engendering a sense of mutual respect and empathy. Encourage them to find the gift they have to give to the world and help them give that. But that's not happening in American education today.
One of my favorite (probably unintentionally) flirting dialog is from kid normal and the shadow machine: (for context Angel has the power to copy others powers and Murph currently has the power of flight)
Murph: If I can fly, so can you!
Angel: of course, I’m just as good as the hero next to me.
Murph: aren’t we all.
Haha, I had a character (not very good at social stuff, but very skilled at a variety of other things, including combat/murder) attempt to flirt by offering to teach another how to kill by strangulation. That was one of those things that I didn't plan, but it came out in a writing session and I decided to roll with it because it fit the concept of the character. I would say that I'm a plantser, generally planning the broad strokes of the story and some of the stuff about the world before I begin writing, then staying flexible during the process for smaller details that just seem to work.
It's amazing what comes out of a character seemingly of its own volition. In my primary story, a girl is talking to a guy on the phone that they know is being monitored by a hostile government when she forgets and almost says something she shouldnt say, so the guy yells the word "ACHOO!" to interrupt her.
I didnt plan this. I didnt even think of this possibility until I was already typing it. It was amazing. It was like the character stepped into my body and wrote the line himself.
“You’re putting all this pressure on yourself to perform, which typically results in the flaccid peen of the writing world.” 😂 lmaooo
my favourite trope is when they both know they love each other., they said it countless times but there's something stopping them from being together then finally, in the highest of tensions they confess and everything is great.
great tips as always! looking forward to the other romance videos this month
Thank you!!!!!
I am an asexual and not interested in someone depending on me, so I probably won't be in a relationship for a very long time (if ever), so when it came to a character flirting with my mc, I was drawing blanks like "UHH..." because I had never flirted before 🤣So thank you for this awesome video! I found it through your kissing vid :)
Aaaaah a whole month of romance~ I'm so stocked! ♥♥♥ and a great kick off with romantic banter yaay~ I must confess to having some cheese in my romantic dialogue, but it is by choice damnit XD Just a smidgen. Who doesn't like cheese?
personally, I love cheese 🧀 🧀🧀
Cheese is my favorite flavor :P
I'm awful at recognising flirting and such, but apparently I'm good enough that even my older sister (we're a Christian family) recognised that my main character and his (male) best friend should've been in love. It wasn't what I was going for in that story but because of that I included a hint that they'd get together eventually (and in the sequel I just started they're dating)
The thing I love about your videos is that your persona swings from the smartest person on the planet dishing out facts, to the worlds most irritating person, and the change is seamless! It's just perfect.
I have been looking into getting back into writing for a while now, and for the past couple weeks I've listened to some of your videos. I've been writing down some of your tips along with observations from books I enjoy. How each author introduces their character, or how they tackle getting across a character's...character, without outright saying it. As an individual on the spectrum, and with major ADHD, conversations are a struggle, although I've always been better at them if I've had a bit of time to think of how to approach it. And the same goes with characters, although working out how to get there, I realize I've been taking shortcuts. While not the only inspiration, your lists have definitly been encouraging some of that fire that I've neglected for some time, to reawaken. RUclips can be a hellscape sometimes, but I really enjoy having authors giving some tips that feel organic, and attainable. Thanks for being one of them. (Not wholy pertaining to just romance dialouge but in general for your character dialouge videos.)
I think the best flirtatious dialogue I've heard was actually in Kingkiller chronical: Wise man's Fear when the MC takes his love interest to a field full of flowers and tells her, "I've been waiting a long time to show them how beautiful you are"
Great line 😎
A little late on my part, but thanks for the video! You offer some really solid advice and you have a great sense of humor. (I damn near cried at "the flaccid peen of the writing world.") I'll definitely be binging some more of your romance videos in the near future as I work on my novel!
You're first example of "beautiful" at the end was HILARIOUS
13:10 if you have seen Leverage then all I have to say is 'pretzels' it's some of the most romantic dialogue I have ever seen, I love it so much!
Jenna, you rock! 🥰 Thanks for the awesome tips!
One of my favorite lines I wrote in my manuscript really drives home MC2's personality. He looks at MC1 and says "May I kiss you?" I think it's sweet, especially knowing what I know (and hopefully my readers will know and sympathize).
I got my notebook out. I am watching the stuff you were saying and your videos how to make a book I’m making a book about Everett High School and myself and also High School invoice.
The last one reminds me of the animated Mulan when Jang tells Mulan “you fight good”
When you were talking about “don’t betray the character”, all I could think of was Miles “saddled with unnecessary feelings” Edgeworth
So very helpful as I've been working on my fantasy novel and wanted to include a romance as a subplot.
7:50
Jenna: “How how can you get hard when you’re bleeding profusely? Is this a kink?”
Me: “nah it’s just that time of the month”
(Sarcasm btw)
What? If you can get hard, there are no times of the month for you.
Hi! Just stumbled across this video, expecting to find the usual vague, obvious same shit that everyone says like ‘keep tension- characters shouldn’t actually cross that line for a long time’ or ‘lingering touches/glances’ but damn, you actually gave entirely thought provoking and helpful specific advice which is ridiculously hard to come by. Count me in- you have my attention and I’m here to stay. Subscribing without a doubt
Amazing advice as always Jenna. Right when I needed it as well.
You are the absolute best. When I discover I am already following what you suggest my smile could not be bigger and there might be a fist in the air accompanied by a "YES!!"
that little quote hovering on ur shirt there is just what I need right now (as well as the as-usual perfectly timed video of course)
thanks!!
I was listening to this in the background while working on a romantic scene
Jenna Moreci saving me from my writers block again tysm
Thank you so much for your advice, Jenna! I checked out TSS last week and I LOVED it!
I hate cliches in romantic dialogue. I’d rather the character say they don’t know how to express their love than say something cliche like “I love you more than all the stars in the sky”
I’m glad you’re back jenna hope you enjoyed your break 💗
3:12 In the words of the wise poet laureate Rupaul, "You ain't gotta reinvent the wheel! You ain't gotta reinvent the wheel! The wheel is fine!"
Lol and he should know. Miss ma'am has got like 70 versions of the same damn show (and I'll sit there and watch em all).
@@ZariDV Teaaa. Is it getting a bit tired? Deffo! Am I gonna stop? HELL NO!💀
Finally the assistance i needed. Love and peace to you
Great video, Jenna! Glad to see your weekly advice vids are back!
Just the video I needed thanks again Jenna!🥰💖
Extremely off topic, but I really like that lip color.
Edit to add something more on topic: Betraying the character's voice is exactly why I can never marry Vilkas in Skyrim. For him to go from a grumpy werewolf warrior who acts first and apologizes later, to "I'd like to open a shop, my love!" absolutely killed any romantic tension my character built up with him. It made me feel awkward and embarrassed. Now try that in a book, where a reader doesn't have the option to CHOOSE what happens.
Gonna have to say character voice is THE most important thing on this list, hands down.
When can we expect the third instalment of the Saviours Champion?! Love your writing and can't wait for your next book :)
EYYY I'm early I think
Also thank you so much for this. As a basement crab who doesn't have much interest in romantic relationships at the moment and hasn't ever been in one before, I really suck at romantic dialogue
And dialogue in general
RELATABLE
My sensitivity reader for female characters say I overuse the “Spicy Latina” trope for my Blue “Ranger” and her mom. She said it’s effective if that’s what I wanted. 😅
Great video, and excellent tips. Thank you for posting it!
Good to have you back, Jenna. Obnoxiously long running commentary GO!
1. The power couple in my book don't officially get together till after the halfway mark, but the set-up is very simple: leading lady's dad treats male love interest like crap, leading lady feels super guilty--like it's HER fault, which it isn't--leading lady says, "I love you," and kisses him. Bam. But he's not able to return the gesture till a little later. Like a week or so.
2. Well, okay, she gets to the "I love you" mostly by crying and repeatedly apologizing for what just happened between love interest and racist-as-f*ck daddy, and it's DEFINITELY in her nature to be self-deprecating, but he's rather out-of-character in the moment because of what just went down, and he didn't know she loved him before then. They'd flirted, had a few deeper conversations, and done a little bit of the "staring longingly but fleetingly into one another's eyes" shit, but mood-wise, he kind of goes from one extreme to the other in this scene. For a bit. He goes back to being pissed about racist daddy later on when he's alone, to the effect of, "I drove home faster than was probably okay, my blood pressure way too high...but she said she loved me. You'd think that would make a difference, but I'm not sure yet." He doesn't blame HER for what her dad did, but he IS pissed off.
3. Well no. Not in my first instance here. It's only after they're alone and together and, in Vicky's case, out from under her father's foot, that they're much more properly able to communicate their emotions. The first instance is too much of a shock to his system, for one thing, but for another, as I say, they're both really upset at this point, so that cloud is hanging over the whole situation. And Jeremy is NOT a shy man, either, but he's not about to start sucking face with a minor on her father's own driveway. He's 18 at this point and Vicky's still 17.
4. Okay, now this is before the racist-ass dad scene, but Jeremy goes a LITTLE overboard with this at times. Vicky's really shy, unlike him, and also extremely sheltered (hyper-conservative Southern Baptist upbringing), while he was raised in a VERY open-minded community, and is also a Unitarian Universalist, which I only just learned a little while ago is NOT a sect of Christianity. I thought it was. Thanks, Internet. But anyway, he never, EVER tries to even so much as touch her hand without her permission, but a lot of it is in how he talks and even how he dresses. He's pretty much instantly attracted to her--he likes redheads--and starts to peacock a bit for her after just the second day of knowing one another. It KIND OF goes over her head for a bit, and when he notices that, he tones it down and goes in the "just friends" direction...which paradoxically loosens her up in terms of her trust level. he still teases her a lot, though.
5. Jeremy Creek is the anti Edward Cullen an anti Christian Grey. THANK YOU. Because ew.
6. Which is why the confession doesn't come till halfway through on her part, an just over halfway through on his part. I'm trying my best not to be creepy here, too: like I say, she's still a minor, and he's not, so they don't get much past kissing and petting, at least in the first book. And YEEEEEEEEEEES, I'm sorry, they do get married eventually, but no one else in the book marries their high school sweetheart.
7. His goes on for longer than hers because he's all distraught and feeling guilty about what happens at the climax, but now feeling MUCH safer and more confident around him than she did before, she basically puts a stop to his shit, and he gets there eventually. He's prone to a guilty conscience, just like she is, but a lot goes down that is resoundingly not his fault, OR her fault, and by this point in the narrative, she's able to see that, so she basically tells him to cut the crap, and kiss her like he means it. This is later than the first "I love you" kiss, by the way. Few chapters.
8. Vicky is NOT smooth--this is her first romance ever--and Jeremy is only smooth with other guys. He's bi and he's had one boyfriend and one girlfriend before now, but he only ever slept with the other guy. He's less sheltered than Vicky, like I say, but he lacks confidence especially in this situation, because he doesn't want to go too far and either offend her or scare her. Awkward can still be real, though: deciding together on parameters, realizing that, hey, the other person is on my same wavelength, sweet!--and so forth. I FEEL like that could be realistic, anyway. Oh, and he PREWTTY MUCH insists on them being equals in the relationship, which takes her totally off-guard because, in the culture she was raised in, the woman is pretty much the man's servant, certainly not his equal. And it takes at least till the end of the second book for her to feel comfortable with that. Gradual transition feels real to me, too: his community is more or less undoing her entire life's worth of conditioning.
9. Nope. Not yet on this one. She's not ready, and he knows it. And she knows he knows, so it's not a huge deal for them. I CONSIDERED having them have pre-marital sex at the end of the second book, but I don't think I'm going to do that now. Like I say, she was raised in a family so hyper-conservative that it was almost its own little insular cult--daddy's a pastor--so I REALLY don't think she would go for sex out of wedlock. And Jeremy wouldn't make her, because he only plays the bad boy on TV. That's not his real personality.
10. TO BE FAIR, at the middle-to-end of the second book, they're going to prom together, and he sees her all dressed up for the first time, and he's just like, "Uhh...is this a bad time for an awkward boner?" XD I haven't written any of this yet, but I have it planned out. At that point, though, she used to his sense of humour, so he's only pretending to be awkward around her. This is...like...six month after the original book ends? Yeah, actually: December to June. First book ends with Christmas and second book ends with Vicky's younger brother getting Jeremy in the water again for the first time in almost three years. The poor kid's dad drowned, so he's been afraid of the water ever since, despite living just a short walk from the ocean. He CAN swim, but chooses not to. And throughout my books, I associate Jeremy most with fire and Stephen--the brother--most with water.
Make sure the self deprecating stuff is well done, if your leading lady is just a crying pick me mess you'll annoy your audience. Give her personality outside being just desperate for a man to love her and you'll be good.
@@caiolucas8257, she's not desperate for a man to love her, and CERTAINLY not this man, or at least not at first. She considers him--at first--dangerous, because he's not whit, and her whole "purpose in life" is to finish high school, and marry a man her father will probably end up finding for her, who would specifically be a man very much like the father himself. he KNOWS that's what she's supposed to do, but she also wants to go to college, even though she's been trained to think it's a waste of valuable breeding years, and she wants to make new friends, and she's in love with learning in general, so she wants to LIVE, you know? A more real and fuller life than her culture wants to offer her. All this while still being devoted to her family, which becomes kind of difficult when daddy turns abusive.
I did manage to go to one of the January videos. Glad I was able to catch this one too. Great tips. Thanks.
I loved the examples at the end! Thanks, Jenna!
Why does Jenna always upload stuff right when you need it?
Tips start at 2:35 (note to self)
I remember watching a clip from the notebook when Noah threatens suicide to the girl, Ellie, to go on a date with him even though she said no and she's already on a date with someone else. That's not romantic, that's just creepy and someone needs to call the cops.
Exactly what I need! Thank you Jenna!
My favorite couple in a book started off their relationship by literally talking about poop.
I always had problems with romantic banter 😂
A thing to remember is that when people are in love with someone and they don't know if they are loved back, they don't say very much at all. Unless your 'romance' is coming after they find each other on a hookup app (that's not a romance, it's a CSI episode), that is going to be true of most romances. If you have fallen head over heels for someone, the last thing you want is to be blurting out cheesy one-liners, or anything at all. You are mostly hoping to god that they say or do something that indicates they like you too, which they are not going to be doing if they have fallen for you too. Both people are now important to the other so they are not making any sudden moves or stupid statements. Subtle is the word of the day.
Unless you have long term friends to lovers, there should be no confession of love. Someone saying, "I love you", should be an affirmation all other times. I mean hopefully you are not writing high school romances, but that is the only time confessions ever happen in real life, largely because they are too ignorant to know better.
Also, if your characters are curled up in bed together, any confession is again, not a confession, but an affirmation of something that should already be apparent...assuming you are writing romance and not a CSI episode. Think about it this way, imagine you just finished an all nighter with your favorite someone, and you breath out, "I love you" and they suddenly look at you like you made a surprise confession. At that moment you just became a one of two things youtube will delete my comment for if I type it. Spoiler alert, there isn't going to be a happy ending.
A person is know keeps lecturing me that “essay writing and creative writing are the same”. I need confirmation that they’re not before I devalue my self worth.
The lives were a really cool alternative to videos- I thought it was really find I haven’t had co workers or co creators since march 2020- so it was really fun to participate
I really needed this today
Now, post-clear, concise, and detailed information.
there's my favourite cyborg queen, nice to have you back.
My autistic ass doesn't do flirting. My characters go from friends to lover without any flirting ever (I guess so? Maybe they are flirting, maybe I don't see it lol)
#3 is the most helpful
This video makes me feel good about my story I have going on. Plus, on the scale, I'm pretty young for a writer. 😅
Say you love me or i say i love you without saying it is my way of doing things.. or in this case it is as i am writing a little story to get these toughs out of my head..
Your voice will be a constant commentary inside my head when writing romance. ✍ 😅
Just when I need it, I'm in the middle of editing a romantic scene....
Before its ruined :D
Can you do how to write group scenarios like 6 people in a conversation and how to know how many people of that group are participating at the moment and how to know?
you're back!!!!
Amazing content. Is Jenna currently working on a new book?
Whooo, Jenna! Look at that hair! How lovely.
Yeah that's a mystery to me too, but hey diggen those Butters popups!
Hey, I've been watching Jenna's videos for a while now and I think she's pretty good. I'm thinking about checking out her book too, the savior's champion, but I'm still not sure, has anyone else here read her books?
Tony was so bored with that cliche, it looks like he about to pass out!🖐️🤣x3
2:55
0:47
That’s what she said
for my tentative story, my main character (M) is both inexperienced and dispassionate about romance throughout the beginning to the midpoint, but not oblivious either. to me, i thought of the main character taking a path of tackling an instance of a potential intimate moment from another with disinterest before he develops curiosity and self-awareness after his first genuine confession.
also, for any signs of blatant affection early on, it'll either be deflected or dismissed due to his hopeless background until his indifference of intimacy is shaped during the story's midpoint.
is this acceptable? or tolerable at the very least? (also romance is not the focal point and moreso a subplot)
I think It's really nice. It can work out. It actually reminds me on one of my characters from my own story's romance sub plot
@@timealoukota1687 ngl, i have both the beginning and the ending down go the T,,,
the middle is where i struggle 🤡
#1(Cliched One-Liners): If I have Fumiko or Thargilit use any of these, it'll be because they're ignorant about how to properly court someone (especially from another culture) and are getting bad advice. Fumiko's never dated anyone before and her knowledge on romance mostly comes from her sister's favorite romance movies, while Thargilit's only previous relationship was an arranged marriage, leaving her equally ignorant about how the romance process works if her parents aren't doing the work for her They would also quickly realize that it isn't the best way to go about it and share a good laugh at their own expense.
#2(Understand the Character): Fumiko is a shy introvert and Thargilit is an introvert who had to learn how to fake being an extrovert.
#3(Don't Focus on the Romance): I haven't gotten to writing yet, but I'm going in with the attitude of "How would these two characters interact in the current situation?"
#4(Know What Flirting Is): Neither Fumiko nor Thargilit have much interest in flirting with someone they barely know or knowledge on how to flirt properly. The exact way they'd flirt with each other is going to be dependent on what their relationship was like leading up to them developing a romantic interest in each other, their respective personalities, and what they think would make the other laugh or smile.
#5(Know What Flirting Isn't): Neither of them are the type of person who'd be intentionally domineering or patronizing. They're the type of people who'd try to customize their flirting to fit the personality and interests of their love interest.
#6(Read the Room): I'm fully intending on putting in the work needed to establish a relationship between them, especially because they've both been hurt before and would want to make sure that they trust the other one enough to be vulnerable around them before expressing their love. Their flirting will be saved for lulls between the action when they aren't busy fighting for their survival or someone else's. There might be a love confession during a fight, but it would be when (1) they have the chance to take a quick break from the fighting long enough for the confession to happen, (2) they know the plot is about to separate them for awhile, and (3) they have reason to believe there's a good chance of one or both of them dying and this might be their last chance to confess. Then again, the love confession could happen somewhere they're not in immediate danger.
#7(Keep It Simple): The love confession would probably be something as simple as: "I love you." "I love you, too." *hug*
#8(Realism is the Antidote to Cheese): As long as I remember to keep everyone in character, I should be able to pull this off. If there is cheesy romantic dialogue, it'll likely be Fumiko trying to imitate how the characters in one of her sister's romance movies would flirt, realizing it's super cheesy and no real person talks like that, and either apologizing for screwing up or making a self-deprecating joke depending on the circumstances.
#9(Sexy is Subjective): The sexy dialogue between Fumiko and Thargilit will be whatever they find sexy.
#10(Adjust Accordingly): I already intend on having Fumiko's and Thargilit's dialogue fit their personalities, where they currently are in their character arcs and the romance arc, and whatever situation they find themselves in.
Ahhh... there's just no one like Jenna😍
I actually turned the notifications on after being threatened 😭
9:09 I would actually kind of want to subvert this by having the confessor start rambling off, and just as the reader's about to roll their eyes have the receiver's internal monolog interrupt with...
"Wow it was a train wreck! I got what he was trying to say, and I really should have stopped him long before this point, but it was so cheesy and sweet that I just couldn't. Plus there was certain charm to watching him try and fail so hard, like Mr. Bean.... if he were young, sexy and blond."
If you want hilarious (bad) romance, read Nicholas Sparks’ “True Believer” (I love his later stuff though). He meets the girl for the first time in a cemetery- direct quote: “Her skin, with just a hint of olive skin, made makeup unnecessary” And, “from a distance, [her eyes] appeared almost violet” - like bro, violet eyes is a specific condition, but also, they were outside. What kind of super sight do you have?
Towards the end, they go on an official date: “For makeup, she did the best with what she had, applying a touch of blush to her cheeks, eyeliner, and lipstick.” Over my dead body am I not putting on mascara or picking it over eyeliner. Blush isn’t even necessary most of the time.