The Truth About Annulments
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Fr. Mark-Mary talks about annulments: what they are, why you would get one, and some pastoral advice on divorce.
It’s important to point out when talking about the annulment-or “declaration of nullity”-that it’s not just “Catholic divorce.” While a divorce is a legal separation of the marriage bond, an annulment is a declaration that a sacramental marriage never existed in the first place. In other words, annulments don’t separate the marriage bond; they just find evidence that no bond existed.
Marriage as a sacrament is designed by God and ruled by him. Therefore, we as his stewards cannot separate what he has joined together. It’s just not possible. The reason the Church has the declaration of nullity is to help couples who may have entered marriage for reasons outside God’s calling to realize these wrongdoings and have the ability to enter into the sacrament correctly.
Fr. Mark-Mary lists 3 reasons for a declaration of nullity: ignorance, inability, or insincerity.
Ignorance is simply the lack of knowledge concerning the sacrament of marriage. In order to actually enter into a sacrament, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into.
Inability can come up as grounds for a declaration of nullity if it’s discovered that one of the partners was coerced or pressured into the marriage. Sacraments have to be pursued freely, and if someone is being scared into it, it’s not a true sacrament. This can also come up if one of the partners has a strong addiction that caused them to get married, such as a sexual addiction.
Lastly, insincerity is the lack of commitment or belief in the Church’s teachings on marriage. For example, if a couple was entering into the sacrament, but only one of them was open to the procreation of children, then this could be grounds for a declaration of nullity. They may love the person they are marrying, but they must fully agree to the terms of sacramental marriage. This would also come up if a partner lied before marriage, saying they were open to children, but then “changed their mind” after marriage.
All that being said, the Church is always going to presume that a marriage bond has been formed between a couple who get married in the Church until proven otherwise. That’s why it’s essential to find some reason for nullity in the marriage, because it states that a marital bond was never formed, and therefore the couple can go forth and marry someone else in the Church.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen has a famous line, “it takes three to get married (man, woman, and God), but it only takes one to get divorced.” Above all, it’s essential that we treat all our brothers and sisters with respect, especially those who have been divorced. We pray for everyone who enters into the bond of marriage and for the graces to love one another as only God is able to love.
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I like how you worded this. The church does not marry people. The church simply recognizes that a couple is already married. Only God Himself can marry two people.
PockA - I would suggest you get a second opinion before you make that statement.
So would a kid from an annulled marriage actually be an illegitimate child?
The whole topic confuses me what is marriage then if we have all these exceptions to end it whenever we want. I am a young person who will like to be married to a Christian man one day and it sometimes seem like what's the point of marriage if it is just something we throw away.
It's Catholic divorce because the good of the spouses is not essential. The priest says objectivity is used but all the American McNullments are done subjectively. Not "good" enough.
my concern is that 9 in 10 applications get approved. Seems too easy. This is why it is called “Catholic divorce”.
Moreover it implies there are lots and lots of Catholics, certainly a majority, who are not married either but just happily living together because one or both of them did not have the correct intention on the day of their wedding. This state of fornication would last a lifetime. Perhaps they had no intention to have children when they married (which makes the marriage null), but eventually had a child by accident when their contraception failed and accepted their family or 1 or 2 kids. They would still be unmarried because what matters is your intention on the day of your wedding when you make the vows, not whether you remain together for 20 more years.
@@greggrimer1428
But what if both partners did marry with the right intentions and were happily married but not anymore?
A lot of couples married not equally yoked and many practice bc and lied at the altar being open to life . That’s a big one
@@CarolineOwens-s1h
bc?
My ex husband ended up marrying someone else, pretty much right after he filed for divorce. I am grateful for a priest, who helped me through the process. ❤️ I have been annulled, and remarried to a wonderful and devout Catholic man.
Yes thank you for those precious priests who have helped!
I’m happy for you. God bless you and your husband🙏🏼
@@doloresvega4420 Thank you 🙏
That happened to me too....his actions affirmed and made me realize that I was not cherished. That for him, "anyone would do." I never refer to him as my "ex". I say: " I re-wedded."..not remarried, the first attempt was never a marriage. I refer to only one man as my husband and like you I married a man who is a blessing and a treasure. Having travelled that path...I am very happy for you.
That is beautiful! I love that!
Annulments???
two people stood in front of hundreds of others who served as witnesses and made vows until death and recorded this event and have a certificate validating the marriage but someone wants to say they were never REALLY married??? Hows that even possible? Its not...
We all make mistakes but lets be honest here....divorce and remarriage is just that, one can hide behind words and twist things to make it sound better. I think the catholic church gets it right on divorce and remarriage is a sin..but they dont follow thier own teaching on this when they grant annulmemts so people can remarry...
It is possible if you can do intellectual gymnastics.
There are many problems with annulments. For one thing I have never heard of people not getting one. Those who apply, always get one. For any and all reasons. Even on parish websites it will say “If you or your spouse became unable to fulfill your marriage vows” you can get an annulment. Which is AFTER the fact...after the wedding day. Also they say you must get a civil divorce FIRST before applying for an annulment. That makes it way easier to get an annulment. You’re already divorced civilly/legally...you are already living separately, etc. Makes it so much easier to seek companionship with someone ‘new’ before you even get your annulment (which I’ve seen people do as well). I know people who have have many friends who aren’t catholic and have been hurt by annulments in their own lives as they just see it as a Catholic divorce. Same as with couples using NFP as birth control...we unfortunately have many couples doing that as well as seeking annulments when there is literally no grounds for it. It can give terrible scandal to those who aren’t Catholic and even to those who are when they see how you can literally have any reason to obtain one.
huh.....marriage, anywhere, under any culture, etc, is marriage....and once established, it can not be annulled...
In theory it's not catholic divorce. In practice as it is handled in many places, it certainly is.
What do you mean?
@@milagroscapomasi8525 He means that tribunals in most countries in the world find a reason for all annulments. Which makes them divorces in effect. They will come up with a reason however spurious. This did not used to be the case.
Can't agree with this. A vow is a vow. Can't be a matter of convenience.
The Annulment sounds much like the heresy of "Donatism" - that is the validity of the sacrament depending on how holy the Priest is. Except here the validity of the sacrament is being depended on how sincere the two parties are. So an Annulment really is then man putting asunder what God binded together then if you do all that math at the end of this. And what is the point of it all anyways if an Annulment requires a civil divorce in the first place? Hope the Catholic Church does away with this practice soon.
Read my post
@@Oliveoil91661 What post?
@@eastofthemississippi2501
One day ago
@@eastofthemississippi2501
The first three people to want annulments were for evil.
1. Herod, who killed John the Baptist
2. Pope Alexander VI was evil and used it.
3. The evil Henry VIII too wanted an annulment for Catherine of Aragon.
In 1983 the Catholic Church added many more grounds (excuses) for allowing annulments. Now most (if not all) Catholic marriages are eligible for annulment. Since 1983 many annulments can indeed be described as Catholic divorces.
Thank you for producing this! I’m a child of divorced parents and the discussion of divorce/annulment/remarriage in the Church has always been difficult to explain to others, so thank you for making something so informative :)
Very simple, the spirit of Vatican 2 changed good of the spouses from secondary to primary therefore any marriage is annul-able.
Read my post
I’m here for the same reason! I pray for your family to reunite in the name of Christ!
Thank you for your clarity and sensitivity on this issue Father. My mom had declared nullity of her marriage so this topic is one of importance to me. ❤️
Thank you for this message! I am currently going through this process now. It’s been painful emotionally to dredge up the reasons for the marriages and divorces (yes, plural) in my own situation, I was orphaned, lost my true faith, didn’t have parental guidance of any kind and landed myself in several mistakes. Now I’m home and realize I was never orphaned. God was always there.
similar to my situation, you're not alone
My 70 year old aunt worded it beautifully, "Not rejected, rescued."
Welcome home❣️
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I'm at the very beginning of it (looking into it) and already finding it emotionally very painful. Please pray for us.
What's with the swastika?
@@andrewsanford2020 look carefully and have a guess
My husband received a declaration of nullty and we were able to marry in the church. Feel8ng very blessed
Ye
Are the children from the original Union also feeling very blessed?
What does it mean to be “super sensitive”?
@@AnnulmentProof from what I’ve encountered in these marriages, the answer is no.
@@AnnulmentProof
I tend to think the way you do. I’m a “Protestant” who wants to convert to Catholicism, and don’t see how to do it without my marriage exploding. I also don’t see how it is an option to remain outside the Catholic Church. And I think that becoming Catholic is actually the most important thing for me to do. I have a 2 year old daughter and I love her so much.
What do you think, what do I do and how does this play out? Who can inform this situation? Just wanting some leads for thinking this out. I just want to be in the right place with God.
You can say that annulments should be called this or that, but everyone still believes that annulments are Catholic divorce. I went to a divorce support group at my parish and the first thing they ask is if people are getting annulments! I was abandoned by my spouse of 22 years, for his adulteress, in an unwanted civil divorce. I have no grounds for an annulment. People (Catholics even!!!) do not understand that I can't get an annulment "but he had an affair and left you- you didn't want that" (I hear this all the time). And even if they do know this, they are extremely uncomfortable with the fact that a victim of infidelity-abuse and abandonment *must* remain faithful to her vows. I won't even go into the scenario where an adulterer pursues (and gets) the "declaration of nullity" so they can marry their affair partner in the Church.
kl0039. Your comment doesn't make sense to me. You have the exact scenario that Jesus described when he limited divorces. You are free to remarry.
Declaration of nullity makes absolutely no sense. As a Catholic I truly can't wrap my head around the church's explanation. King Henry was born a years too early or he would still be catholic. I find it hard to believe that all the annulments given truly fall into the above circumstances. Honestly, this is the hardest to believe mystery of the church.
Very helpful Fr Mark Mary, I am nearly at the end of the annulment process. More Catholics really need to understand what the Church teaches.
My ex wife did not want children and that was the initial grounds I had requested the declaration of nullity. The other reason was so that for her benefit, she could be set free to marry another, thou, I have no desire to remarry.
That’s very noble of you
@@AG-wh6jw i agree
If she doesn't want children, how could she legitimately marry? Evidently the declaration of nullity you requested and received reiterated that openness to children is a prerequisite for Christian marriage. Do you see the problem here?
@@ChristRisenAlleluia she claimed she didnt want children only after we were married. And because a requirement of the Sacrament of marriage is openness to having children, thus the declaration of nullity was granted. I dont know what you mean, by, "Do I see a problem here?" God Bless!
@@clank4001 I understand. What I mean is, if she does not want children, how can she ever marry?
Definitely an area needing much more sensitivity and more understanding along with education. It drives very many away from the Church when it could truly be a great healing. It took me 30 years to get back on my knees to go back to Church because I felt so abandoned and betrayed by my Archdiocese. I personally know many people who have left the Church and gone to the Protestant options because they also feel abandoned and unable to be a “real Catholic” anymore. I have not yet gone through this discussed process 😔. After this much time I really hesitate bringing the past back and stirring up hurtful experiences for family. Thank you for doing this discussion... I would pray for people who are going through marital breaks to not wait to investigate this. It would have to be easier than contemplating it 20-30 years after the split.
sbi cyb you are not alone. It is after much prayer I am returning and am at more peace than expected. It has felt like a real intercession led by our Mother for me to return to her Son. Praying the Rosary daily (something I had never before done) has been the key, as well as the Mary Undoer of Knots prayer and much of my own private prayer conversations. I feel very blessed to be where I am now though it’s not a completed process yet.
sbi cyb I am sorry to learn that you have been targeted. The internet has been a blessing... the ability to listen to and learn from knowledgeable priests is so helpful. If I may suggest another you tube series that has helped me and others is Divine Mercy’s Father Chris Alar “Explaining the Faith “. I have learned to look to the Church’s spiritual nature and to try to look past the Church’s human nature in the negative things I have experienced. It is an important part of my understanding of how I fit in the Church at this point in my life and how I can continue to grow and find the blessings promised to believers as well as to give back. God bless you.
What God has brought together let no man separate.
There is great confusion about what marriage is which is for life and a person can only be married once. The people during the time when Jesus was saying this couldn't accept it as they said Moses permitted a bill of divorce. Jesus strait out told them that the only reason why Moses permitted a bill of divorce because the people themselves were a stiff necked people and like them those who heard Jesus were no different.
If a marriage is unlawful meaning that either the man or woman were not sincere about the vows they've exchanged the marriage would be invalid. The Catholic Church holds a tribunal in order to determine if the marriage is valid. This is why civil divorce isn't recognized like I said a man or woman can only be married once. If the Catholic Church determines the marriage was invalid as one or both weren't sincere about the exchange of vows which are binding with God they declare the marriage annulled therefore they would be permitted to be married by the Catholic Church, or become Ordained, or join a Religious Order if they desire to do so.
Yes, What God has joined. But did God join all marriages? If the couple are not free, or they are ignorant of some fact, then perhaps God did not approve. It wouldn’t be the first time God didn’t approve of our actions.
So here is the confusing part. “Ignorance” so anyone can claim that. But even ATHIEST! Know “death do you part” now you can take that vow serous or not. But that’s rejecting the value of that vow. You do not need to “truly believe” or claim “ignorance” that’s not valid. There is more to it but to claim ignorance is not a valid reason to a certain extent
I must congratulate you on a fine presentation.
In Britain we call this. . "Spin". What you present is concrete and absolute but I fear it lacks the weight of History or appreciation of social demands. That is there is nothing at all wrong in what you have presented about the Sacrament or its validity. Yet if we look back into Church History we may encounter a surprisingly high amount of social class annulments granted on the most flimsy grounds but oddly often granted to the rich or powerful. Then today we have an almost excuse annulment being granted with Hierarchy permission to a more democratic social class. In effect whilst Catholics clearly do not accept divorce the Church may allow for annulments that in effect measure socially the same thing as a divorce.
Does this mean the Church has lowered its standards or forgotten the sanctity of the Sacrament? No obviously not but the Church is composed of humans and these make mistakes which sometimes have to be officially sanctioned. Does the Church unofficially allow for these matters to stand? Yes certainly it has in the past allowed wealth to influence it over a more religious and zealous interpretation of its own rules. It is the way that any organization in human affairs must work from time to time.
But your pleasing defense of this strategy is well received. Daring in its risk factor but not deliberately confrontational a good video.
Dude, this is the comments section of RUclips; we don't need to read War and Peace. Brevity
@@EricA-xd9fn LOL Well Eric, it requires clarification or else misunderstanding and anxiety result! We don't want that. . no way .. .God Bless you!
My ex "husband" appeared not to actually want children, once we were married.
same situation for me. I was also "married" before I was a Christian and didn't really understand the meaning of marriage at the time.
Same here. 🙋🏼♀️
@sbi cyb im not sure what you
mean exactly. as in if one spouse does not want children? that would make the marriage "illegitimate" within the church bc the church says married couples must be open to life. if both don't want kids then the church would say not to get married I can only assume.
How do we spell annultery- let me count the 85000 a year ways...Vatican 2 the gift that keeps giving.
Fr. A woman or a man have a relationship live to gather or not have a child , abort or give up for adoption. This relationship us over. They meet another man and they get married I n church. I actually know more than 2dozen of these. And thousands of people who live together before marrying in the catholic church.
Why the hypocrisy Fr. No one is addressing this. Why give the divorced people a hard time.
God will forgive every divorced person if they ask.
It's about time the church look at this. God is fair and good.
I am a catholic and follower of Jesus thus I get mad with this behavior . I have been asking this question and no priest have been able to answer.
It sounds good, but of course for my situation, an annulment is not the appropriate path. My wife has serious emotional trauma from her ex-husband, and I cannot in good conscience have my wife go through something she doesn’t want to. So now I either have to be “Catholic” or I can become Eastern Orthodox.
Thank you for this Padre. I had help from a religious in our parish with finishing the necessary nullifaction application forms two years after my civil divorce. I was surprised to find it to be a very healing process. The religious that helped me with the questionnaire also showed me some insights into what had invalidated my "marriage" from the start, and how I had been manipulated into thinking I was at fault for so many problems. I have not remarried since receiving my declaration of nullity. I am so very grateful that since then (over 20 years ago), I have been able to set an example of participating in the sacraments to my children and grandchildren.
God bless you for doing His work in this venue.
What some people don’t realize, is you can divorce and still receive the sacraments , so long as you don’t remarry outside the Church.
...and aren't in a state of mortal sin. Most people forget that part.
@@EricA-xd9fn you are correct.
Yes, and an annulment it is basically a free ticket to go marry anybody you want. All you have to do is walk through the process, it’s not easy. But they’ll grant it for several marriages. Catholic churches in the business of keeping people in the pews. They know asking people to stay single is too much.
to add to what you said. You can take communion and the Sacrament assuming you’re not having sex or a relationship outside of your original marriage, divorced or not.
Out of tradition, in 1979 my parents had me baptized in the Catholic Church, and in second grade I received my first communion. We never lived as Catholics - never prayed, never went to mass, never read the Bible, etc. At 40, my husband and I were married by a JOP, and then at 41 I was saved and went through RCIA. Before my confirmation, the director of Faith Formation and the Priest met with me. I answered all of their questions, including how I was married. I was confirmed. A couple of years later, a relative informed me that I shouldn’t be receiving the Eucharist because I wasn’t married in the church. The priest never said that, at all. So I asked him... he went back to my file, and then confirmed that I never should have received the Eucharist because I was Catholic and didn’t marry in the Catholic Church. Apparently parents going through the motions of tradition for their child, is now the child being “Catholic”. Odd, but I was willing to do whatever needed to be done. My husband is, and never has been Christian or Catholic, so he wasn’t willing to participate. This is where I was literally ditched by my priest. He told me that without my husband’s involvement, it would make things “complicated”... and then just forgot about me. Yes, I kept reaching back out to him - but he would always say “tsk - I forgot”, and remind me how “complicated” it would be... then forget me again. This happened a few times before I realized: a Catholic priest either doesn’t care about my soul, or he doesn’t believe what he claimed the Eucharist is. Neither of those options were ok with me. I feel very sad because I feel lied to. I have no church, but I will always have Jesus.
I'm still single and unsure of getting married in fear of a divorce .😥
Pray for the right partner. Ask God to show you the right person. Been afraid never helped anybody. And don't forget, nobody is perfect. I think that's something we all forget.
just a little church history here. in the 1940's my mother married a man who was unfaithful and abusive. they had married in the church.. my mother requested an annulment due to these circumstances. my great aunt said that after about 7 months my mother could no longer stand the situation but however the church being as strict then as it was, was only going to allow an annulment after much discernment on the church's part and that it would take as long as seven years. my mother bolted. left baltimore, went to chicago. as a college grad she enlisted in the army and was put through officer candidate school. she came out a captain in the army, still with no annulment.. during the war she met my father. they were friends but my father was also married with a wife and child at home. they accused him of having an affair. the methodist church did not have any qualms about allowing the separation and divorce of my father. after the war my mother was working at the pentagon when my parents decided they wanted to marry. my mother filed for a civil divorce and my father did as well. they married and the church declared my mother excommunicated from the church for remarrying with out the annulment. this literally destroyed my mother's faith and life in the church. she did raise me in the church and i found all this out when i was 13 from my aunt. i am happy to hear now the church understands that there are circumstances for which a marriage is untenable. but until recently, my mother's fate of being excommunicated for this was the standing church doctrine.. i consider today's wisdom in the church finally acknowledging this travesty. so many people either could never consider remarriage or just left the church because of the lack of understand of domestic abuse.
Money talks. John XXIII let JFK's sister in law, Lee Radziwill, have one. Then it dawned on they could collect fees from everyone and appear progressive too. It is just a Catholic divorce.
When did the Church stop excommunicating people for remarriage?
I mean no disrespect - but your father walked away from his marriage, and broke-up his child’s family all while your mother knew he was married and never out the brakes on. Neons if that is moral or respectable behavior.
@@XavierY828 pope francis announced that depending on the circumstances the exoommunication could be lifted. sometimes, he said there are circumstances that are untenable and the annulments now go through pretty rapidly. then consideration for remarriage.
@@leylinegoddess
Strictly speaking a marriage after an annulment is not remarriage but simply marriage.
What if the person your dating has been divorced for over 15 yrs and his ex wife has remarried. And he has the intentions of marrying me, can wr.possibly still apply for ammulment of his previous marriage?
Father Chris Alar has a very good talk on this very topic on the Divine Mercy You Tube channel which I recommend for those interested in exploring this more. For any one going to go down the path of seeking a declaration of nullity be prepared that your new marriage may not be recognized and without this declaration you will be living in sin and not able to receive Eucharist. However, I recommend talking with Parish Priest about this. My situation is that I could get a declaration of nullity for my first marriage but my husband cannot, therefore my marriage to my second husband cannot be convalidated. As someone coming back to the faith having never been confirmed, this makes it tricky one. There are sacrifices to be made.
Interesting I have a somewhat similar situation the only answer to not be in mortal sin I figured is to live like brother and sister of both agree this way you are not in mortal sin. There have been saints who did this because they loved god so much that even though they were married by the church they did not have marital relations as a sacrifice to god because they love him so much. It seems not doable at first glance because the flesh is weak but through prayer it can be achieved
@@AG-wh6jw This is what I intend for my husband and I. We are both in RCIA (OCIA) at present and this is the only way forward. I want to be able to confirmed and receive the Eucharist. It would probably be more of an issue for my husband but we are living this way at present, he has to come to an understanding about it and choose this, rather than it being by default.
What happens if a Protestant wants to become Catholic and his spouse doesn’t and is making it nearly impossible to become Catholic. How does this play out. I guess I’m going to find out oh no 🤦♂️
That is a different issue. I do not see how a Catholic spouse can prevent their non-Catholic spouse becoming Catholic. It makes no sense. Why would they want to and how could they stop it. That is a matter for the non-Catholic spouse and a priest. However, I could imagine it the other way around, a Catholic spouse wishing their non-catholic spouse to convert and the latter not interested.
Let's say there was defect of will or a defect of capacity by one or both of the parties to enter into marriage and a tribunal would therefore likely find a reason for nullity. However, both husband and wife want to remain married and the initial impediment is now resolved (i.e. now there is capacity or will). Would there be a marriage in God's eyes or would they have to go through the sacrament of marriage a second time?
I am in the process of an appeal for my annulment. Even though my ex-husband is a sex addict and sexually abused my daughter my annulment was denied. I don't have any witnesses before we married.
Oh I never knew about this! Thanks for making a video on this :)
*Stay away from a relationship with anyone who has had one because you are next.*
It’s not always that person’s issue. It could be a fault of their former spouse. Someone leading a double life of some sort is often the thing that shows the marriage was null from the start.
Not my experience,
From what I've witnessed with others.
Doesn't matter.
Then your wife will be sloppy seconds which is not acceptable for any decent man.
@@hansblitz7770
Sexism is strong with this one, referring to women as men's sloppy seconds shows you're not fit to be a husband.
I would like some feedback here. I have a friend who is protestant. Married a non-practicing Catholic in a Catholic Church. His wife had a friend that was male, before and during the marriage. She did not tell her husband that she and the friend had a brief intimate relationship in their past. They stayed friends then she left her husband for the guy friend a few years into marriage, at which point she admitted to their previous relationship. Her extramarital affair ended a year ago. She and husband have been separated for 3 years. No children together because they were going to wait for finances to improve but then she left him. She refuses to work on the marriage or to hear the husband's requirements for moving forward. Would anyone here think his case would be valid annulment because of fraud? He would not have allowed the friendship with the former lover if he knew their past so he was not allowed to make a full consent to marriage. And her omission of the truth indicates either guilt or lack of intention to remain faithful. He is considering entering the Catholic Church now, his conversion is new, so that's why an annulment would be considered by him
Thank you for the empathetic tenderness of explaining “declaration of nullity”
Why were there zero contra bonum coniugum annulments before Vatican II?
Annulments were not common prior to Vatican II. Then John XXIII authorized one for JFK's sister-in-law so she could marry a Polish count. Not much reason to withhold it from common people who pay the fee and endure the rigamarole.
I've actually heard that some are denied entrance to the Catholic Church and denied the sacraments if they are divorced (or) if the annulment is denied. Many are NOT remarried, NOT living in sin, and do not plan to be married again... Not sure how that works.. Any thoughts? I've seen this on countless pages...
I am in desperate need of a video or article about a grossly unequal marriage. My husband and I (not married in the church) have very different views on what marriage is. There is no “sharing” a life with him, he doesn’t “share” well, and certainly doesn’t see marriage as a sacrament.
The problem with this explanation is this. First and foremost it is completely unbiblical. Jesus himself said that the only reason a divorce is justified, is because of adultery. To try and come up with an excuse that somehow you made some mistake by getting married. That is unbiblical lunacy. Are you trying to tell me that we are gonna pull the wool over Gods eyes. God himself makes the rules, and he says that only adultery period is the reason he will accept a divorce.
Church hands annulments out like candy. Very upset with how the church does this, they need much higher proof of these things. Well stated though.
Very clear very helpful thank you Fr Mark
I am a catholic women engaged to a non catholic who is legally divorced and his ex has remarried since. In order for us to be married in a catholic church he would have to annul his marriage through a catholic tribunal, I find fault in our process as divine law states it is an abomination for him to return to his ex wife if she has since married, therefore he is free to take another wife. Just not a catholic one. This leaves me the catholic, unable to fulfil my dream of a marriage in the catholic church, to the man I love and who accepts my chosen faith, ultimately denying me the sacrament. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth that the church demands this yet divine law is clear
The most important thing to understand about the Catholic church process for annulment is the money! How much money can the church charge women, especially poor woman. My own mother was excommunicated in 1964 because our family could not afford the annulment fees. Today an annulment process can cost many thousands of dollars. Those who can't afford to pay get no annulment or they get tossed out of the church. Money is the god the church worships today.
I’m sorry to hear that. Pope Francis has reformed the annulment process by making it free and much quicker.
My husband annulled our marriage and is living in sin , but I am Catholic and celibate
So a big part of an annulment is being ignorant of what God is calling you for.
Would you please talk about marriages and divorces outside the church. As I left my faith in my teens and was married and divorce in my twenties (civil ). And now with the Lord's guidance I'm back home in the Catholic Church
You are free to marry then.
If you didn't marry in the Catholic Church, it is not a marriage under God, so you are free to marry someone in the Catholic Church. However, if you were married in the Catholic Church and divorced civilly, you would need a Declaration of Nullity before marrying again in the Catholic Church.
Easier way to say this is if you’re breathing and want an annulment you will get it! It’s easier than taking a first grade math test!
Would substance abuse before marriage be a reason for anullment
At the time when my husband ran away, leaving me with no money & two small children, having an annulment wasn’t possible for me. 30 years later it was possible. The conditions of annulment have changed. I asked for spiritual communion for those years, went to college, was on welfare and scholarships, worked 3 part time jobs, & was denied some jobs within the Church because I was not a Catholic In Good Standing. I think I performed my penance. What can I say? Some people are robbed and shamed. It is not the Church’s fault. It’s just a circumstance of life. Life is dangerous. Today I am content at 72. I would never leave my beloved and His Church. There are victims and we would do well to have Mercy on our people. Mercy is demanded.
You performed heroically by working through a grave injustice committed by your husband. Most people turn their anger against the Church, rather than the true culprit.
My sister asked me to be a witness for annulment. What does that mean?
I got married 7 years ago to a Colombian Girl at the courts only. I have a divorce from the court. Do i need a church annulment even though I didn't get married in the church to get married in The Catholic Church with my new Vietnamese fiance? I and my fiance are Catholic.
No. A court marriage is non sacramental.
Marriage must be free, total, fruitful, and faithful. If any of those things are not met then it was never a marriage in the first place and is grounds for annulment.
Do you have to be Catholic to get an annulment if previously married outside Catholic Church? My fiance had previous marriage. I am catholic. She is becoming Catholic before we marry. She already got divorced. Let me know what you think
Best to talk to your local priest for better guidance 🙏
Sophism: people who divorce are out of the Church while some lucky couples, knowing "right people", can easily get a second chance. Unfair
People who divorce are not out of the Church. There's no excommunication for divorce. You also don't need to "know the right people" to be given "a second chance". If your marriage was valid, no amount of "knowing the right people" and "being given a second chance" will fix the reality: even if you get a paper of annulment, if your marriage was valid, you do not have a right to remarry before the eyes of God
I'll tell you the alternative to the current system: a man can kidnap a teenager or a woman can bamboozle a mentally incapacitated man into a forced (thus invalid) marriage, and the teen or the incapacitated person would be bound by that for life. Despite God not recognizing those marriages as valid due to lack of consent.
Am I considered an illegitimate child then since I am the product of my mothers second marriage after divorcing her first husband when she found out he had been unfaithful to her their entire relationship?
i grew up with this fear also. i am hearing here that circumstances 70 some odd years later is significantly different. i don't believe the sins of the parents are visited up us as children.
Were suppose to put God first , if that law is broken and the other spouse is not a God loving spouse and worships different Gods, is that a good enough reason plus have someone else?
I’d the other person was not baptized, then there was no sacrament exchanged.
No divorzio sono cattolico e saro io ho firmato il libro Della chiesa cattolica grazie
Amen! You can be a faithful Catholic and spouse but if the other person is done you really have no control. This is a great explanation of an annulment.
...when "I do, becomes, I don't" says the straying spouse 😥😥
@@homethatilove4595 “I felt like an actor, we had no foundation to begin with” 😳
So if the man I married through the Catholic church already had wanted to add an additional person into the relationship before we got married and I agreed to that, could I get a declaration of nullity? We have been divorced by law for about a year now.
You took the oath !!!
Playing with words.
A farce
There is an issue with your explanation. What you are discussing is the marriage contract. The bond is created by contract. The annulment is in direct relation to the element of contract. What the Church looks at is whether or not legal consideration had existed. The elements of a valid contract are offer, consideration, and acceptance.
Marriage creates legal, religious obligations.
Civil courts can not involve themselves in religious matters.
Do I need to file for a declaration if I as a catholic married a non-catholic. The non-catholic then became catholic but refused to have a sacramental marriage ceremony. Hefiled for divorce 5 years later and our divorce should be final next month. Will I be able to remarry someday in the church.
My parents got an annulment. I'm confused. They were both baptised Catholics when they got married in the Catholic Church. The Catholic Church have annulled my parents marriage. Does this mean they should never have been married? Does this mean God never willed the marriage and my sister and brother and I should never have been born?
It means they never were married.
A declaration of nullity for your parents’ marriage means that, for some reason, there was an obstacle present at the time they made their vows which prevented them from ministering the sacrament to each other validly. It should not be concluded that “God never willed their marriage”. It means that something prevented them at the time of making their vows from having a sacramental bond. Some of the reasons are ones that Fr. Mark-Mary mentioned, and there are others. A declaration of nullity of your parents’ marriage does not in any way mean that you should not have been born. God clearly wanted you to be, or you wouldn’t be here.
@@chateaumojo My parents received the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony. So they were married, united by God. I think most annulments are not valid in the eyes of God. It is another manifestation of liberal theology which dilutes or negates the word of God: "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
Well of course God willed your birth because here you are. 🙂
@@tmm4446 Thank you. My father was a serial adulterer from the start. My mother was broken and traumatised by his behaviour. My father was angry and violent towards his children but never hit my mother. He left 3 children under 8 years old. I still do not believe that is grounds for an annulment.
There's one other situation that can result in a declaration of nullity - nullity due to lack of canonical form. This form of a declaration of nullity can be granted if a baptized Catholic marries outside of Canonical guidelines, and then divorces. The marriage may have been civilly valid, but sacramentally invalid. I had to go through the process for a lack of form nullification a few years back. Thankfully, the process was very simple in comparison to the full declaration of nullity process, since it is far easier to prove that a marriage was not following canonical form in many instances (ie: no priest witness, not in a Catholic church, no dispensation from the bishop).
Thank you for this video. I started the annulment process YEARS ago. I’m still sad I had to choose this option.
Hi, be patient and faith in God. I got mine very quick from the beginning to the end was 6 months.
@@haonhu7884 That is VERY quick.
Mistakes happen 🙂
Thankyou Fr. Mark Mary for a factual discernment on Annulments.
Question: My husband initiated our divorce, I fought not to, but when he gave up I felt a degree of relief as he was mentally abusive and I felt tormented. 9 years later I wish I fought harder, begged even. According to CCC he is guilty of grave sin, but am I too? Can I keep going to Communion? I am celibate.
Please talk to your Local priest, Will guide you out🙏
If my ex wife has a boyfriend will this help me in getting an anulment?
No, what is supposed to matter is her state of mind on the day of your wedding. Did she understand what the commitment was, was she committed to having children. Was she still on contraceptives when you married. If you are not going to be honest about that then why bother? You cannot fool God. Just remarry outside the Church and be honest about being divorced or play it honestly and straight and see what God's will is.
The likelihood is that you will get an annulment because they are handed out like candy.
Nothing she does after the wedding changes the fact you were married other than it might give evidence to her state of mind during the wedding. For example a woman who cheats on his husband during a honeymoon clearly did not have a Catholic understanding of her wedding vows. If she cheats after 20 years of marriage the same assumption cannot be made.
@@greggrimer1428 Wow. Thank you for making sure I never become Catholic. Unfaithfulness is the exact scenario Jesus described. You can divorce.
Please better talk to your parish priest on the way forward
In America the annulments are indistinguishable from secular divorce, in reasons and numbers, therefore it’s correctly termed as Catholic divorce. Technically annulments are very rare and almost impossible to obtain under normal circumstances, in practice they are just like secular divorce.
Basically you’re saying they hand em out like candy in America?
@@AG-wh6jw Pretty much, anyone who wants annulment gets it, at a success rate of 99% in America. These are obviously not legitimate annulments, but Catholic divorces. Legitimate annulments wouldn’t exceed 5%.
@@Mr.mallaerI don't know where you get your % from. Nor do i live in usa. But my mother first had to prove that her husband and his family was hiding his abusive and psychological conditions from her and she got it only after appeal.
@@Mr.mallaer can you explain to me what about a single person who has married a divorcee I don’t see anyone talking about this situation at least I haven’t found anything discussing it in regards to the Catholic faith what about these people I wanted to convert to the Catholic religion and have been married to my husband for over 13 years his previous wife had an affair left him and eventually married the man she had an affair with my husband tried to save the marriage counseling but his ex-wife refused so am I committing mortal sin even though I’ve never been divorced before and married my husband over 13 years ago not knowing the rules and stipulations with the Catholic faith?
What is the difference between a monk and a nun?
What is a difference between a monk and a priest?
,🙏🙏🙏
Very difficult to understand father. The terms are foreign.
Thank you. My entire experience of going through the process of getting a declaration of nullité was very humbling and healing to me. It wasn’t easy. There are many questions but it helped me greatly.
@sbi cyb very much actually. My divorce was a legal procedure. The declaration of nullity was a spiritual experience. I had to look at my whole life in order to understand if it was a valid Sacremental marriage. To be honest when it was first mentioned to me I was very resistant. I’m grateful i went through with it. A few years after I received my declaration of nullity I met the man who would become my husband. I was so grateful that I had taken the step to see if I was eligible and received the declaration. My husband and were married in the Catholic Church and were able to honour as faith.
I 😢
Thank you for this. As a person who has received this declaration of nulity, I find most people don’t understand how significant this process is. It is a healing process in your life, and a continuing learning of your true Catholic formation. It is none a easy process, but worth every effort.
so if someone was an abuser their partner could get an annulment
Very good clarity and charity on a tough issue!!
Does this apply to "civil marriages" or only marriages that occur within a church? Does the church recognize civil marriages as legitimate?
Nope.
Remember that the Sacrament of Matrimony and getting married are not the same thing. Civil marriages are not sacraments and are not recognised by the church. They are literally just a government document. The government has no authentic authority to marry or divorce anyone.
Bless you..for makings things CLEAR!!
Here's what i don't get even if theres an affair in the relationship affairs aren't grounds for divorce despite Christ using it as the only way of permission
The phrase “lewd conduct aside” is not clarified exactly what that means. Getting an annulment is when it is determined whether a sacramental marriage existed. People having an affair while awful does not mean a sacramental marriage did not occur at the beginning. This video clarifies the condition that shows what situations actually indicates a valid marriage never existed.
That’s beautiful. Thank you 🙏🏻
Declaration of nullity
A declaration of nullify and an annulment is the same thing. I have seen plenty of people who initiated divorce and got an annulment because it is a catholic divorce and the church just doesn’t want to say it. BecAuse they know it’s hypocritical, and they just want to keep people in church. Making them live up to Christian teaching tends to push people away. Jesus always loves loopholes.
In our wedding vows, until death due us part, in bad times and good times, let no man separate what God has joined, how does the church justify annulments? I know that everything that God has created, which is good, the devil is always trying to break. What I think is the devil got into someone’s head and told them a way out of the Secret covenant. This is how I see it. Thank you and have a great day.
It can also be spiritually healing to go through the process.
It is a long and thorough examination of your life and relationships. I went through it slowly (several months) because at times it was emotionally difficult. With the help of the Holy Spirit I was able to find clarity about myself, my ex-husband, and my siblings. I was able to see many wounds and find forgiveness. It actually helped me heal my relationships with my siblings, too.
Not for everyone. It can also be hellish.
Thank you father🙏🏻❤️
Is it the same if I was not married in the Catholic Church, but am Catholic now?
Ask your pastor. Most likely you are free to marry
No. You’re free to marry in the Catholic Church.
Thank you for the clarity
I think you explained this very well. Thank you. I still use annulment because Declaration of Nullity can be just as confused with say Declaration of Divorce. I say this in my opinion. What matters is what annulment OR Declaration of Nullity (same thing, right?) - means. So I find myself explaining to Catholics and non-Catholics alike that annulment is NOT "Catholic Divorce." In my opinion based on experience - those not in the know will look at annulment or Declaration of Nullity similar to divorce unless it is explained properly like YOU did because divorce is the only thing they understand. Either way in my opinion will require explanation because using Declaration of Nullity doesn't "clear it up" for those who don't know. I explain it this way simply that the difference between annulment and divorce is annulment states a marriage did not exist to begin with if there is found to be impediment(s) that prevented the marriage from being properly bonded sacramentally and I give similar examples that you did for that whereas divorce by definition dissolves a marriage regardless of it existing sacramentally or not. Annulment states a marriage did not validly exist whereas divorce dissolves a marriage regardless, the latter not being part of Catholic Doctrine. I think no matter what, the explanation still need to happen but that's my opinion. Lastly, nice to bring up we should not make assumptions about annulment, which I can tend to do thinking this probably had grounds because x, y or z. I'm not part of a Tribunal. Nice also at the end bringing up to be sensitive to divorced Catholics referencing Fulton Sheen 3 to make a marriage and one to walk from it. That's true and we should be accepting and careful around divorced Catholics because there can be a number of good reasons for it such as safety. You can't ask a spouse to live with a dangerous person and for legal purposes maybe civil divorce made sense. The divorced Catholic can still remain in good standing by living their life as a single person for example. Good video, Fr Mark-Mary
Amen Amen