What Mental Hospitals Are Really Like |My Experience|
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- Опубликовано: 26 янв 2017
- This was my experience staying at a mental hospital. I was diagnosed manic depressive. I was there for five days and this is what happened. I left out several details that were more serious that happened while I was there, but for the sake of other peoples privacy and any friends I made there that watch my videos, I left them out.
Thank you so much for watching & Im SO SORRY about the quality going in and out. Slowly perfecting the art of manual focusing on random objects and then sitting in front of the camera. This won't continue to happen in later videos i promise!
stay safe babies I love you
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday 
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true but some mental hospitals are scarier than what the movies depict lbh. my stay at a mental hospital was horribly traumatic.
I guess they treat people with psychotic illnesses differently. Less humane.
Le Lo same here hunni 💖
anonymoose
Le Lo You are lying
Girl you were the best roommate. I love this video because I shared this experience with you and I heard your opinion on me as a roommate. I really hope we can start talking again. I still meditate the way you taught me. It really helps. I miss you❤️
That's so cool that you found this video.
DID YOU START TALKING AGAIN?!
This is awesome that you guys were close while in there. I made a few friends while my stays at hospitals but lost contact with them.
🌈✨Gacha Lily✨🌈 That isn’t something to lie about. The average person would most likely delete their comment if they’re lying about or feel guilty about the content inside the comment, unless they’re some sort of little dishonest piece of crap and don’t feel guilty for their actions. Also the statement I just said before about a liar being a little dishonest piece of crap would really make someone feel bad for their actions and would (almost) guaranteed that they will delete their comment and afterwards make them regret their decision of creating the comment more than they would if they just deleted it in the first place. And just so you know the sentence before this one gives a higher chance of them deleting their comment than just making them feel bad with an insult by stating a consequence of not deleting it now, but, if they’re 100% honest and know they’re not lying none of what I just said doesn’t apply to them, therefore allowing them to keep this comment up with no shame because they know they aren’t lying. What I’m trying to say is shaming a person for what they did is a great way to prove if someone is lying or not because if they’re lying the only way to get the shame of their actions out of their mind is by fixing the issue they created (deleting their comment). But, if they have no shame about it because they’re aren’t lying they won’t fix the issue (because their was not one in the first place.)
🌈✨Gacha Lily✨🌈 Also, someone may delete their comment due to lots of hate.
my parents don't take my anxiety seriously. I literally have panic attacks and they don't think that it's a real mental problem, like wtf
21 wild Crybabies at the disco same
21 wild Crybabies at the disco me too. They just don't get it but at school I have friends with the same problems as me to help me get through it 💕
21 wild Crybabies at the disco same. my mother doesn't take my depression seriously and doesnt see it as a real problem thats important.
same, i literally stand in front of my mom crying and she'll keep yelling at me until i rush into my room and cry there
My parents think that taking away the only things that make me happy will make me happy. They took away instagram, and take my electronics really early every night. I constantly tell them that if they just give them back, I'll be more happy, but they don't lsiten. Every night I just sit in my bed and cry. I used to cut myself but them my mom tried to send me to a mental hospital, and then took every "sharp" thing in my room. I just want fucking pencils to draw, a nail to hang my calender up, you know, basic things. But I can't. It's like I'm living in my own mental hospital. My mom canstantly tries to blame my interent friends. Like, I have one friend, who is suicidal adn tried to kill hersself. But that doesn't mean that she influenced me. In fact, she has helped me realize how easy my life is compared to her's. I just wish my parents would listen to me instead of trying to help when they have no clue. I'll just stand in front of my parents and cry, and they wont even listen. Today I asked if I could have instagram back, very nicely, and she just said "Why are you being so rude?? You have to realize that it's the people on instagram who are doing all this! You need to learn to take care of yourself before you can look at stupid dan and phil memes." Well, those "stupid dan and phil memes" may be nothing to her, but they are the things that saved my life. She doesn't realize that. Whenever I felt down, I went on instagram and looked at all the funny things people were posting, talk to my friends, play silly games with my followers, etc. But now I cant. She wont even let me have twenty one pilots, the band who has saved my life and inspired me to do so many things, at night when my thoughts just take over. Tyler's lyrics make me feel not so alone. Yet they don't care. I beg for it, every night, but they wont lsiten. I tried to print a picture of Brendon Urie so I could draw when my electronics were gone and have a refrence picture, but they just saw me printing it, took it, and rippedi it, telling me I was wasting paper. And I'm going to a p!atd concert Feb. 28, which my mom syas I dont deserve because "such an awful kid shouldn't deserve things like this that make her happy. I'm sure that Brandon Urie or whatever his name is doesn't care about you or your problems." Like, I'm sorry, but I love Brendon, more than I love myself, and I feel like tickets that I purchased, months in advanced, with my own money, I should be able to use, to see one of the best men on earth.
Sorry that was really long I just needed to get that off of my chest.
mental hospitals way back in the day were traumatic and awful , that's why in scary movies they are potrayed as horrible because they once were .
A lot still are scary & horrible, my experiences have been very traumatic & have left me a changed person (for the worse) I agree back many years ago things were worse yet as time has gone on improvements to mental hospitals have not been made with patients in mind. When as a patient you put a complaint into management in writing about certain aspects of nursing care & treatment you did or didn't receive whilst on a ward, your comments are dismissed as lies & they find answers for everything. What's the point because your the one with the mental illness, they are the ones with all the power..... 🍪pocket.
THEY STILL ARE!
I never realized that me planning my own death was not normal until she actually verbalized it, my mind isn't where it needs to be I need help
madeintheisles speak to someone
Christopher Keroro stfu
that is so rude Christopher you shouldnt joke about that to a person who is actualy considering suicide
Christopher Keroro LOLOL don't come to school tomorrow ;)
Same, I thought everyone planned their death.. ;-;
I would NOT recommend suicide hotline to anyone ever. I've had multiple awful experiences one where the woman would not stop talking about how I just needed Jesus in my life and how I would be better if I did, and another time a man basically told me my feelings for being depressed and suicidal were invalid. Both times I told them I was feeling better, thanked them, and hung up just wanting to die more. I also posted about these experiences on a Facebook forum and to my surprise I was not the only one who had had awful experiences that just made me more mentally unstable.
DO NOT CALL SUICIDE HOTLINE.
Same here. I've had horrible experiences, most of the time the person on the other end doesn't even know what they're talking about or really how to help much
Mewpixel wow, no one should ever invalidate someone's depression no matter who small or insignificant the set off may be. In my case it was my great grandmother who I was really close with passing away. So before you judge maybe ask. Not to mention I've been clinically depressed since I was nine because I was sexually abuse and it runs in my family. Again, ask before you judge.
Wisteria Love you do need jesus. But its for you to find him on your own
Brooke Melton Don't tell someone they need Jesus. Most people don't believe in him and you should respect that. I may be wrong maybe they do believe in him, but that's no reason for someone to tell them their depression is because they don't have jesus
Fried Oranges exactly. People need to respect others religions or lack of instead of forcing their beliefs on people. Especially when they're depressed and we're contemplating suicide.
I have severe anxiety problems and because of that I'm afraid to ask for help because I feel like people will think I'm just saying that for attention.
Elisa Gil ugh I feel you
julie goddard me too
Elisa Gil EXACTLY
Elisa Gil same
Elisa Gil that's why i was terrified to tell my mom how i truly feel. But it turns out that she understood. I wrote a letter because it's hard for me to physically talk about it because i was afraid that people wouldn't take me seriously. It's worth it though, i'm now getting help.
My first night in a mental hospital, I was in a room with an older woman. She refused to take her medication and had to be forcefully injected while I sat outside the room crying. :(
Lunam Puera the exact same thing happened to me but it was a 5 year old girl. They would give people shots for crying that just makes it worse
Study the ancient wisdom's...meditation, law of attraction, astral traveling. Not taught in schools as they need our slavery, money to keep us in the dark. This is how mental wards work, if u go off course you get shit on.
Damn that sucks... the mental hospital I went to was actually pretty chill
Ha that happens alot where I work at. People refuse their meds when they see us putting gloves on and getting closer they either start fighting or they get scared and take it.
Ikr like the kids would just get so angry or wouldnt stpp crying and they'd hold them down and inject them with sleeping drugs
you are glowing baby ily
Jade Green cousin?😂
You should've titled this "my mental hospital experience", not "what mental hospitals are really like" because not all mental hospitals are the same. And you're talking about your experience.
Amanda Rivera very very true. some are very nice and some are really awful.
Amanda Rivera you're so picky you could strum a guitar
but its true
Agreed. I've been in a mental hospital and it was TRAUMATIC. I was admitted 4 years ago and was there for 13 days and I still think about it on a daily basis.
Amanda Rivera she put that title because many people think
Mental hospital are scary
well the facility i was admitted to was creepy af. like the Bryce hospital if you know what that is. just like the movies with bars on the window, prison wire fences, beds bolted to the floor, people screaming and being tranquilized and all kinds of bs. i behaved like the nice little girl that i am so i could get tf out of there.
Ghost With the Most same! I became insane after that
Lol in London i wanted to stay there. Everyone was really nice and the food WAS GUD
Two things:
1. Min Yoongi is my bias so I love ur name and pic
2. Dayum... Nah i would do the same
Suga Daddy oh wow.see that's why I checked myself in and right back out at this one place.i do no drugs no ciggs..no alcohol. ..only meds r the two I take that aren't even that strong.bc of cutting I had a choice to go home or to a psych ward type center whatrv. U call it when I went in..I realized that it was mostly a detox center.evetyone walking around looking like they were off the streets. Men in there n everything.bc I didn't have med med at the regular hospital..the increased stress level caused me to freak out.like bad acid trip freak out not anxiety hyperventilating freak out.i knew I didn't need to be at that particular place.i knew if I had to stay.....bc of the med fluctuations and stress causing my mental state to skyrocket (and that only happened 1 other time bc of meds interactions )I would have flipped slam out if I couldn't leave.door was locked top and I knew they were gonna give me new meds and men who were detoxing there.no no no no they tried to make me go to rehab but I said no no no.lol.aw poor amy .she has alot of amazing songs.that one wasn't even about rehab.anyways I'd rather go to a center or hospital for those who aren't solely detoxing.make sense? But I don't wanna freak out like I did
Suga Daddy army❤️
I wanna go to a therapist but I feel like I can't even trust them either...
Ehhh_no right ?
I seriously the same, I have a feeling they secretly just wanna have the money and they don’t care about your feelings. Or they would tell my parents everything
Ehhh same
It is required by law you cannot speak about what your patient has told you during therapy, including parents. But if you say you're suicidal then they tell others about it.
Me too. I wanna get help but I know if i told the therapist the full truth they would have to send me to the hospital which I dont have anything against but then my family would find out and I just dont want them thinking of me differently
I was admitted last year when I was 14, all the others were 15-18 so I was the youngest and they were all smoking and didnt talk to me. I was diagnosed with anorexia with a BMI of 14.6. I was only allowed to go outside for 15 min per day and I hated it. I would be crying all day and no one there really knew how to treat anorexics because everyone had depression or problems at home. So I changed hospitals and i totally changed my mindset and the new hospital made me really wanna get better. I stayed there 3 months, got out and never went back;)
Isabelle Schaefer I'm 14 and my bmi is 14.9??? I've never been to a mental hospital tho xD
Isabelle Schaefer I'm proud. 😀💓
Isabelle Schaefer congratulations!!!! 💜💜💜
Isabelle Schaefer GOOD FOR YOU😊😊
Isabelle Schaefer some ppl are just stupid I'm happy for you
When I went to the mental hospital I was depressed, like I couldn't function, talking wasn't something I could do. My parents took me to the regular hospital. The doctors lied to my parents on how the mental hospital would be set up, visiting, how things would work,etc. first night there was terrifying for me the first thing I heard was a girl crying because her mom didn't visit because it was her birthday. It felt like a jail. Shower night was hell, my shower had no curtain and the shower head was messed up and get everything wet. The nurses were horrible, one day I was crying that I would never go back to my old school, or see my friends( which was true, till this day I still very miss them ) one of the nurses took me into a room and just when off on me, yelling at me to shut up and grow up (I was 11) getting in my face, something you shouldn't do to a dangerous depressed child. Till this day I get triggered from little things. It's been hard for me after, and it's a struggle to get over my visits
My cousin tried to commit suicide by jumping of the balcony but thank god my aunt saved her..she has been in a mental hospital since then...she has had depression for years now so please don't do anything crazy..seek out for help you matter,you are not alone❤
Eirini Mak Mhm, Wouldnt i have the right to take my life without taking anyone elses?
Eirini Mak if my mom sent me to the hospital i would want to kill myself more, gee thanks for sending peoole to hospitals to make them feel worse
Why didn’t you just let her? Some people aren’t meant for life ya know. Let her suffering end. I wouldn’t want my cousin to live just to see her want to kill herself all the time.
Omg your hair, your brows, your lips, omggggg you're so pretttyy
Pretty but crazy ,litterally
Trump supporter Stop being offensive
@@TM-il8rb shut up wtf
I went to a mental hospital because I was in a psychosis. I was hallucinating, heard voices REALLY STRONGLY, I was super manic I couldn't stay in one spot, I was doing and saying really bazaar things, didn't eat sleep or drink anything for a week and didn't care about hygiene at all... I remember some of it but a lot of it I don't
FarOutBeauty Heidi Me too, I was also in a psychosis. I also didn't care about personal hygiene or eat/drink/sleep/shower/ go to the rest room for a couple days. I heard some voices too and I was very paranoid
I went through the exact same thing last year
Hygiene is important.
@@usamarafieck1715 these things don't seem important at a time when your suffering with mental illness. Eating, drinking, no sleep, staying in bed for days etc... hygiene is important we all know yet when a person is suffering mentally you loose all self worth & everything becomes such an effort. 🍪pocket.
@@biscuitpocket7283 I completely agree.
And hey I was in mental hospital 3kk too 😔
I've been having suicidal thoughts for a while but I most likely would never do any of them, should I still ask for help?
This Is A Account Yes. Being depressed is no way to live. Trust me.
+Hitomi Mochizuki I have talked to someone but they just keep saying although it's concerning, it is still very common and then they don't do anything and just left it at that...
@Laura Papp that mindset kept me from seeking help when i was younger, and honestly, thats 5 years of my life that ill never get back because i was just stuck in a depressed stupor. if youre having suicidal thoughts often enough that its worth bringing up and being commented on by you, its abso-fucking-lutely worth the attention of a psychiatrist. if youve been talking to a psych and they say that its not important enough to be addressed, i think its time to find a new one, because damn
@This Is A Account what youre describing is called suicidal ideation, and while its generally not treated in the same way as actual suicide attempts - i.e. a good psych/therapist will not have you hospitalized just for general suicidal ideation - its definitely worth addressing simply because its not good for your mental health. i would try to find a therapist, maybe one that specializes in cognative behavioral therapy because they focus on helping to change your thought patterns to avoid the ideation in the first place :< good luck man
Seeking assistance won't hurt.
you kinda remind me Mulan
rica valete but a modern day prettier version of her lol
She reminds me more of Pocahontas actually
lol so much
pocahontas bruh
I WENT TO TWO MENTAL HOSPITALS.
In April I was taken into a mental hospital. While I was there I was alone with my thoughts. I cried every single day anytime I could. I hated it there and if anything it was eye opening on how much sadder I could be and if I had stayed there any longer I would have probably tried to smuggle something in and kill myself (this was beyond me because I am a very good kid and a follower). The girls there were all terrible and selfish. They all fought and before I even went into the area where we were all kept (almost like animals, actually) I was told by a kind nurse to NOT MAKE FRIENDS. Lucky for me, I got the "Alpha" of the whole place as my roommate. The room was quite small and all we had was a really small bed and a shelf where we kept our stuff. The bathroom was just a curtain surrounding a toilet, shower, and a sink. All we really did there was sit in this lobby room and I would just read because it was the only thing that kept me from my own thoughts. Being there, I never received medicine and didn't talk to any doctors. On visiting days I would just cry for the hour my mom was allowed to talk to me. I BEGGED her to get me out of there. Eventually, my mom gave in and begged the secretary to allow her to see a doctor because she didn't think I was suitable to be there. That same day I was allowed to leave, thank god. I beg anyone to not hurt themselves. There are so many worse things in life and I'm happy I experienced this first-hand because when I left I have NEVER thought of actually attempting suicide since then, and I have had these thoughts since 6th grade. If you took all the time to read this, thank you. I honestly hated it there and I might sound very whiny, but it was just the most dullest experience which left me even more depressed. PLEASE reconsider.
this makes me feel not so crazy, when I was admitted a couple months ago, it was extremely traumatic for me, from the attempt to the police and the mental hospital itself, and I tried to hide any sort of crying/panic attacks after the first night. I acted as sane as I could to leave, although I was lucky I made friends inside to keep me sane. And I hope one day you think to not attempt suicide not because of the fear of hospitals but because life is so amazing.
My parents have threatened to send me to a mental hospital(Sheppard Pratt)
Backstory I was six years old when I told my mom I wanted to die well she at least cared then to get me help there is was from first grade 7years old to fourth grade 9 and a half years old three and a half years of therapy it didn’t solve anything I still have depression today I constantly cry myself to sleep from when I was ten years old until I was twelve years I slammed my head on the floor to end my life I did this in front of my parents I wanted help but for the first few months they thought I was purposely doing it for attention I was grounded for weeks at a time which just left me alone with my thoughts they are now 1000 times worse. But before covid-19 started My parents were going to look into psychologists and psychiatrists. At least your thoughts ended
I have scars when i used to cut myself when i was 17, now in 25, but i don't feel confident wearing short sleeve shirt , cause i don't want people asking me why i have this scars, idk anybody has this problem ? Any advice?
Mia Wallace go for it, I'm currently at college and I haven't been asked, if anyone notices they always just look past it
Mia Wallace I struggle with the same problem but what I've learned is that we have to accept our body as it is , with every scar and every mark that has been left. I understand that being asked what those marks are can be really uncomfortable but it's important to learn self acceptance so others can accept us too the way we are build
I also have had these, but at the end of the day you survived a very tough time in life, I would say stay strong sweetie, you don't need to show it off nor hide it. Dress in clothes you feel confident in and spend time with people you're comfortable with and overtime you won't even notice it. I'm almost 21 and the last time I did anything was probably around 15, the scars are huge and unsightly but I have found so much happiness in life especially with my new current relationship which has really helped me to accept who I am, we needed these sad experience to become who we are today so be proud you're still alive 💖
Mia Wallace i used to have the same but now u sometimes show them on purpose because fuck that u know it is just my wrist and it are just scars if someone has anything negative to say about it or feels the need to be.mean or weird about it that is their problem and it is also none of their fucking business u know, so i let them see my scars with confidence and if they were to ask about it which they almost never do and if they do they ask it in a very kind way i just say, Life happens and they understand and i don't have to explain any further. don't let your scars be a boundary for doing anything you want to do babe it's okay. act confident and you will become confident. sorry not sorry for this long 'rant' i love you, keep going,ur strong and beautiful you can do this(:
Mia Wallace seriously, just fuck it. I used to cut myself on my upper thigh so no one would see, but I played a sport so when I would wear shorts it was apparent. But I got to a point where it was just like, why do I care? It's NO ONE's business. They are battle scars. Don't be afraid.
I respect you so much
"it never hurts to keep looking for sunshine"-Eeore
to see someone who suffered so much transform into this spiritual, happy minded, positive so alive and present being really inspires me, thank you so much
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
thank you for opening up about your experience!
To be honest, mental hospitals don't really help in my opinion. It's too controlled, and it feels like you're in a prison and that they strip away everything from you so that you're not a person. I just don't see what really helps about that. Everyone I saw there was miserable, because they were kept away from loved ones, and there was nothing to do most of the day. It was just a horrible experience, and I wouldn''t recommend it to anyone. I'd recommend outpatient therapy a lot more than that. And even if it somehow does help someone for a bit, I've heard so many people relapse shortly after being released or end up back in there.
couldn't agree more from experience.
I was an inpatient for two weeks when I was 14 and it was quite an experience. Nothing like the movies. But I learned so much about myself. There was one nurse who helped me so much. She made me feel so safe and helped me to understand my trauma. The actual doctors were total pill pushers and I didn't feel like they gave me the attention that I needed. But since I was suicidal and thought often about hurting others, the experience was necessary and I believe it saved my life. just knowing that there were other people out there just like me helped so much. I learned a lot about self care and respect and the experience has inspired me to work in a field to help those like me at that age. I will soon be 20 and I'm planning on earning a degree in dietetics to help those with a negative relationship with food. That year was just a stepping stone to finding my life's purpose. I just want to say, anyone who is going through a rough time, things really do get a lot better. I remember how much I hated hearing that when I was younger. And I honestly still do sometimes. But it's become something that I tell myself and truly believe. A few years ago I was homeless, suicidal, wildly depressed, failing all of my classes and I had no friends. Now I'm almost done earning my first degree, I have food in my stomach, and a fresh relationship with god (the universe, everything around us) I never thought I'd make it this far but here I stand, knowing that healing is not linear 💕
Yeah... see in October I was in the ER because of a panic attack and I was threatening to kill myself. I never wanted to kill myself... but I did want people to take me seriously. I am struggling and I'm not okay and if someone doesn't help me I'm scared that I will kill myself. And I had a nurse a doctor and psychiatrist ask me all those same questions. And it was really scary, For me because I didn't want my emotions to take over me.
Gabi Maza You are so brave for sharing, I really hope that you are feeling better now ❤️ Your life is so valued and don't ever let anyone say otherwise. Have a wonderful day and stay strong ❤️
PurpleKendra15 thanks so much for this ❤
Gabi Maza Give me a couple of your social medias
I can't talk about my feelings, I break down crying
Juliet Nash same 😒
can you do a storytime on your high school academic life? like how you did so well despite everything and why was it so important to you?
i guess it was because if graduated she could move out of that hard home to go to college and finally be "set free"
I was admitted to the psych ward (around here) when I was 14. It was terrifying and horrible (in my opinion) because a lot of the people around me were much more mentally ill than me. A lot of time it was loud and scary because the other people were hallucinating and very angry so they were always having outbursts, and obviously there were no locks on any doors so I was very paranoid. Do not ever feel afraid to speak up and talk about your problems. Suicide should not be seen as the only option, it shouldn't even be an option. Things do get better. People love you. You matter. And I'm so glad you spoke about your experience, it makes people like me and many others feel not so alone, thank you
so brave to share an experience like this publicly, and as someone who's been hospitalized before it's great to see people discuss this stuff with candor like this. props
Thank you for making this video and sharing your story. Not many people are able to talk freely about it and help others at the same time. It is really inspiring to see how much someone can grow despite the struggles. You are so inspiring and i wish you much happiness and peace on your journey! xo
I just wish I had more people to be friends with I can talk to about my depression 😔
you can talk to me 🥺
I can be your friend.
the first time I saw the title of this video I became very anxious, but I clicked it out of curiosity and just to see how I would react to it (my fault, hitomi is an angel and I love her) and subsequently had a panic attack. since then I have been having a mild manic episode (again, that is on me, not on anyone else) (as in it is the fact that i have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, not that I chose to be manic) anyway.......,,,, I stayed at an inpatient hospital for two nights, and they likely the most traumatic nights of my life. I don't want this comment to scare anyone from accepting inpatient treatment, but if you decide to, PLEASE DO AS MUCH RESEARCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN, or ask somebody to research it for you. the hospital I went to was three hours away, in the middle of nowhere. It was old, older than everyone who worked there. It was dark and it was terrifying. the doctor put everyone on the same medication, but most importantly there has been 8 assaults and one sexual assault that had been recorded there (just in 2011), and nobody warned me or my mother. my psychiatrist at home has also had patients who were assaulted there. although I was not assaulted, I barely ate, was taken off my medication overnight (pristiq/lamictal) and never even received any treatment whatsoever. please please please be careful, and if you have the choice of what hospital to go to please choose wisely. If I could erase the whole experience, I would. afterwards I needed to go to therapy twice a week just to deal with everything that happened while I was hospitalized.
another thing - I have not watched this whole video because it is too much for me to handle. if she touched on this subject and I seem rude or anything I apologize. I want to put my experience out there so it can potentially help somebody who needs it or has had a similar experience to mind and feels isolated. if this has happened to you, I am so deeply sorry, and I hope that you will recover and flourish. you are deserving of love and the proper care (adding this on like 15 min later, i feel so much better now that I have shared this with someone. thank you Hitomi)
chloe belle You're so brave.
You've inspired me to share my experience. It ain't all smiles and support. Not for everyone.
wildflowerirl my experience was traumatic too :( im sorry you had to go through that
State hospital?
I struggled with major depressive disorder. I really appreciate that you took the time out of your day to make this video. Last year was such a growing year for me. I was in and out of mental acute centers 12 different times. Until finally I got intense counseling. They decided I needed to be away from my family for awhile. I was then sent to a group home. I was there for 4 months. They released me because I was a reliability. I wasn't really treated well by the girls there. I continued to have suicidal thoughts. I was only home a week before they decided I needed to go to a residential facility. At the time I was scared, and I didn't want to go there. I was at this facility for 6 months, but I got the help I needed. I am so thankful for this place because it really helped me. Thank you for posting this and making this video. It always gets worse before it will ever get better.
the information you put out for people on here is honestly so inspirational 👌 love you!!
is it just me or you remind me of mulan
cosmo cookie ugggg
lmao
Yes.
There's something so enchanting about the way you talk. I didn't realize I've been watching you for half an hour.
It's amazing to see people that have been through hard times seem so happy and free. It really does show that life gets better ❤️
I've just recently found your channel and I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND IK IM NEW AND ALL BUT I REALLY LOVE YOU AND, JUST, BE HAPPY
Hitomi Mochizuki Omggg I'm so happy right now :D
so obsessed with your videos lately lovee
thank you for posting this! i find this really idk comforting after recently being hospitalized for similar reasons. also u are just so lovely :)
Thank you for sharing this, I've been to those dark places myself and am thankful to have not given up and have grown to realize how beautiful this life is, it takes so much courage to seek help and change doesn't happen over night but we all deserve to be happy whether we need some external help or not 💕
My brother is in a mental hospital. My parents don't really love him anymore. I want to get help and go to a hospital, but I'm afraid that they'll not love me anymore. They told me that if I pull something like that, they won't talk to me ever again and they'll abandon me. I don't know what to do at this point. 😞 I don't know how to get help. Someone please just tell me what to do.
707 I’m so sorry this is so late but there will always be someone to talk to. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone other than your parents. Just remember that you will be okay and someone will always love you💕
Hello, it’s been 3 years since you posted this comment and I just wanted to ask, are you okay?
mimi yeah man I’m good. Life has a funny way of turning out okay 😁
Jesus Christ I pray for you I will always be your brother in Christ
your parents don’t deserve you then
I really appreciate your content and how genuine it all is.
I'm really glad that you opened up about this. Right now I'm dealing with severe anxiety and going to a mental hospital has always been on the table. I've been terrified at the idea but hearing your experience makes seem better.
I really appreciate the time, honesty, and vulnerability you put in this video.
My psychiatrist was very conservative with his approach to my Schizoaffective disorder and on my second visit to the 24-hour crisis unit I decided to voluntarily check myself into a psychiatric hospital where I stayed at for five days. Again, this was a voluntary stay so that my symptoms could possibly be treated for, such things like objects being dropped on me night and day, chemicals being sprayed on me, the smell and taste of chemicals, voices outside of me plotting against me, drones following me everywhere I went night and day, vividly hallucinating, even at work. I had reached a point where I felt I was literally going crazy, and suicide was on the table in order to get it all to stop.
I had been pushed to the brink and after several months of this torture I just could not handle it anymore. I drove myself to the psychiatric hospital and checked myself in. My first night at the hospital was terrifying not because of the staff all of which were very empathetic and professional. However, as I laid in bed, I felt something drop on my face and noises coming from the ceiling then cold air filled the room. As I opened up my eyes I could clearly hear and see the ceiling being ripped open and a figure in all black with a skull mask appeared in the ceiling laughing loudly as he began to drip chemicals on me that burned my skin. I tried to call out for help, but I was paralyzed and could not speak. I endured this torture for what seemed like hours eventually passing out from one of several chemicals being dropped on me. The next morning, I spoke with an in-house psychiatrist and together we tackled my recent experience as well as my horrifying experience over the last several months of depression and active psychosis.
During the next 5 days my symptoms were significantly reduced. I was always treated with kindness, respect, and dignity by all the staff. The in-house psychiatrist and therapist really took the time to listen to me as did the entire stall, collectively we came up with an immediate plan of action as well as a plan when I was discharged. My experience was positive as well as lifesaving. There were several groups throughout the day as well as individual therapy and a check in with the in-house psychiatrist. While there were two beds in my room I had it to myself. The food was good as was the overall atmosphere. Today I am virtually symptom free and credit them with literally saving my life. I would go back to the crisis center and to that psychiatric hospital in a heartbeat if my symptoms reappeared.
hitomi i just came across your channel and i love the energy you are exerting into the universe. love you xoxox
I'm currently going through the same situation you went through. except I'm only in 8th grade. And I've never been to a mental hospital. I kinda would like to go but I don't want to risk getting held back or failing school. Honestly I really want to go to a mental hospital. Even when I was in 6th grade I knew I wanted to go but I need a doctor to convince my dad that I'm not just be in a teenager. Tysm for talking about it was honestly really helpful for me.
Wow, I appreciate you sharing your experience. I was placed on a 72 hour hold at a mental hospital last year, and I don't know if our hospitals hired the same interior designer, but damn exact same interior. When I told some guys there why I was there, they told me I probably wouldn't be able to leave for at least a week. Scariest night of my life. I had to get out of there, so I also lied to the doctors to get the hell out of there. There needs to be more awareness of conditions in those places. Thanks again for sharing, I feel soooo much more normal now, as the event has caused some intense anxiety since then of regret, but I honestly feel so much more normal.
Thank you for sharing your experience - your really strong and i hope that feel better each coming day. Your amazing!
Thank you so much for talking about this
Hey Hitomi, I've been watching your youtube since the beginning. I love it so much and I watch every video, because you are just amazing. You are so kind and beautiful and intelligent and I am so proud of you; because you are always full of happiness and energy and that's so important! I adore you and I could watch your videos again and again... Your personality is my goal. I feel that we have many similarities. Long story short: Continue, you are awesome! xxx
You're ridiculously inspiring. Thank you for sharing your experience, I'm sure it's helped so many people. I just stumbled upon this video of yours, and I couldn't help but watch it from start to finish. You're very well spoken, and I'm so glad you got the help you needed. More people need to know that it's okay to ask for help. ♡
Omg you're amazing talking about this, it has definitely helped me and hopefully helped loads of other people. Ah you're so beautiful and kind thank you so much ❤❤❤
Hey, You are super cool! Mental illness is tough. I have and still am suffering from depression, I feel worthless and I struggle socially. I hope you continue to become stronger and stronger. If you ever need somebody to talk, I am here :)
Man I guess I never really realized how much I lie to everyone else and myself by denying the fact that I have suicidal thoughts and self-harm by telling everyone I'm fine and putting a smile on to hide it all. I'm 17 and it was my second semester of senior year and One day I ran out of toothpaste and I decided then that I was going to kill my self I just got tired of it all I've never told anyone about any of it because I'm scared and hoping that it all gets better soon
Maggie Mae Crawley how sad
Do you have any friends?
Hey i also have a lots of problem like that and i just wanted to say that if you ever need a friend or just someone to listen to you we can become friends😊💜
suicidal thoughts is really serious, you need help as soon as possible!
It's so beautiful that you're sharing this, I might watch the full video later but right now it's just way too close to reality and might make me freak out.. cause I do hear voices in my head. But seeing you out there thriving gives me a lot of hope. FYI I'm 6 years older than you and I feel you are so extremely wiser than me right now which proves age is really just a number. I love your videos, you're amazing ❤
Okay just with The Smiths Intro I know this video will be amazingly thoughtful and insightful. Ah, Hitomi, I love you, your such a breath of fresh air and I appreciate your honesty on such a difficult platform as this. Please never stop doing what you are doing, you help so many people. I've just installed your app and I'm looking forward to using it to help me during times of turmoil, thank you so much for everything you have put out there for us. XXX
When I was in therapy, in 7th or 8th grade, I lied to my therapist and tried not to speak too much to him. I didn't want to be put in a mental hospital. I was suicidal, but I lied and said I wasn't. I probably should have told the truth, but I was scared. I still have problems with my depression today, as a junior in high school. I don't think about suicide as much as I did. I just have my really depressed days and that's when I think about horrible things/hurting myself. Part of my depression was vitamin deficiency, which I do take vitamins everyday now, but most of it is from being bullied. I'm not bullied anymore, but the traumatic stuff I went through has stayed with me. I sometimes think about seeking help from a therapist for my anxiety (inherited anxiety) and depression, but I feel like I would end up lying again.
i love girl interrupted holy shit
Incredibly proud of how much strength you have...well done!!!!
thank you so much. im going to be admitted to a mental hospital soon and i really need videos like this to calm me down. hope you’re doing amazing now 💞
I'm finally staring therapy to sort out my issues this was a really helpful video 👍
hope you are feeling better now!! went for therapy couple months ago...the 1 think i got.. it was that i have to help my self...theres no phsysical think is stoping my so its aall in my head!aint nobody gonna understand what the fuck is going on in my head!!since then i feel better ;-)
What problems do you have?
I actually came here for writing purposes. I'm writing a fanfiction about this girl who was admitted to a mental hospital and want to know what most hospitals like that have in commom so I can at least get a general idea. Amazing video! Love that you shared your story so publicly! It can be hard to do thibgs like that sometimes
I was inpatient and outpatient for Suicide thoughts in November through December, and it wasn't that bad it was like that. but it really helped. My friend actually saw things and hearded voices. I'm glad you have the courage to tell this
You're such an amazing person, trying to make everyone happy and smile when you yourself were depressed :) keep shining girl!!! You've come so far!
I was actually in a mental hospital last year, and now today I need to go back. it was an amazing experience for me but now I need it more than ever
this is the first video ive watched from you and this is off topic but your background is really cute
Aww Hitomi, glad you're finally fine and you're really gorgeous xx I can relate so much
I've been binge watching all of your videos, you're so inspiring! You're beautiful both inside and out. Thank you for sharing
Guys ur confused
The mental hospital is the good thing
The mental Asylum is the insane thing seen in movies
Yeah but have you been in one? Quite traumatic.
Hey hitomi! Love you!!! Xxxx
problematicpanda love you two
This was in my recommendations so I decided to watch it because I’m bored and I got really excited because of your intro ❤️
The part where you mentioned your faith in Humanity is beautiful.. you have an amazing soul.
thx for this video!! I literally just came out from the hospital and I'm barely learning how to recover ! :-)
I love you so much, Hitomi.💗
I really relate to you. thanks for being an inspiration.
Me too.
I'm glad you're doing better and aren't cutting, congratulations!
Thank you for sharing your story, I recently got out of my 3rd stay at a psychiatric hospital for overdosing and watching these videos help knowing I'm not the only one.
14:20 When she says "Happy Pills" I was like OMG IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CALLS THEM THAT!!!!
I’ve been in a mental hospital. I loved it.!
Can I just say I watched this for drama character development and it has really helped me see into the life of a personal with mental illness. Thank you for being so honest.
First video I've watched of yours and I already love u just by the intro
To be honest, I had fun in there which helped me. I went just last month for 12 days. I'm 18 so my age group was 18+. The majority of people were 30 to 80 years old. I was the youngest one and learned so much in there. I kept in contact with some people and I had my first cigarette in there.
How did you get rid of your scars ?? you're incredible Hitomi ❤️
this was the first video I ever saw of you. watching it 5 months later is so weird because I feel like I know you so much better. back then you just looked like a normal girl, but now you're my biggest inspiration 💓 Ly 😘
THIS IS THE FIRST VIDEO IVE SEEN FROM U BUT I HEARD TGE SMITHS I LOVE YOU AN IM OBSESSED
This is very interesting to hear since I was super close to being baker acted. I remember looking up what it was like at the hospitals and all I found were horror stories.
I went to one as a disabled man with depression. I couldn't shower for weeks. It was a nightmare.
This was awesome I'm so glad you uploaded this!!! Also would you ever consider doing a video about Buddhism? I really want to learn more about it but I have no clue where to start, or if u have any book recommendations that would be great too! Love u~
I love your a story and I hope your healing is permanent. I have never been to a mental health hospital but I will love to work in that setting in the future. Your experiences was not too scary.
I tell my mom sometimes about my outlook on life, and how it seems miserable.
Her response: "You might have depression."
*Walks away as I continue to cry*
Me: Oh, thanks for caring...jeez
I would lie too. Which is another reason these mental hospitals aren’t full proof. They’re depressing, and scary. They honestly could drive someone to wanna die again. That’s why people aren’t upfront on how they feel, and I get it, because you’ll basically be living in a jail with nothing but yourself.
I had a similar experience to you. I did exactly what you did, and posted it online (unfortunately). I was caught because someone messaged my mother that one of my online friends was crying hysterically, and it was her mother. My mom forced me to go, and like you, I wasn't honest. You had better reasons for lying, I just wanted the rest of my Summer. But I met so many people that really was nice to talk to, and I really wish I could've had contact with them after but it was forbidden. The most embarrassing part is when (well the one I went to) they strip you down naked. But I've learned so much from my experience, and I try to help others (my friends) and encourage them to make better choices . I also say that I think you are beautiful, and thank you for posting this video, it could really help many people!! 💓
Why am i watching this video?...empathizingly so many times over again. It really is so relieving to hear anothers story for my sake and my cousins. Thank you, and thank you.
i stayed at two mental hospitals when i was put on a 51/50 and the first hospital was scarier than a horror movie, trust me
If anyone lives near Lafayette, Louisiana, Vermilion Behavioral Hospital helped me TREMENDOUSLY. So I definitely recommend.
I was born in Lafayette
Hello Hitomi. :) I am so sorry all of those feelings were building up inside. You can always be yourself with us. We love you and we'll keep you safe :-) I think the world of you. Please remember how special you are. The world needs more of you.xxx
Thank you for sharing this Hitomi, I’ve come to realize the importance of not supressing any aspect of ourselves!!
The divine in me recognizes the divine in you, Namaskar 🤍💜