This Christian Batman Knockoff is Worse than You Think.

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  • Опубликовано: 16 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @Wizards_with_Guns
    @Wizards_with_Guns  Год назад +2053

    What do you think the name of the NEXT Captain Bible episode should be?

    • @dawsonberardi973
      @dawsonberardi973 Год назад +262

      Captain Bibe Vs Gay Thoughts

    • @RamenDenominator
      @RamenDenominator Год назад +93

      Dungeons & Damnation: Captain Bible vs. The Dungeon Mastur

    • @tomergngn
      @tomergngn Год назад +58

      1. A prequel about John Bible. Why he came to hating god, what drove him to drugs, and much more. His last name is Bible so he must've come from a religious family, meaning he was a rebellious child that left religion. He screamed and moved fluently at the start, yet at the present his movements are all janky and he acts sociopathically towards others (almost exploded a kid just because why not). It means that throughout his superhero life, he grew more sociopathic and uncaring about others. From the end, we can see that he stabs the deceptor because he shot his bible, meaning that he prioritizes god before people's lives - a good reason for a sociopathic person.
      2. Maybe let him see other religions? Not once in this episode another religion was mentioned. There were only two options - you either believe in Jesus or "not". How will he react to Jews for example? They believe Jesus exists yet they don't believe he's a god of some sort.
      3. Maybe a sequel of him learning that killing innocent people is also against the bible? If we recite the 6th commandment, "Thou shalt not kill". Maybe he'll realize he was the greatest sinner of all, and try to be a superhero while trying desperately not to kill with his guns?
      He's a great superhero overall, and based on tiny clues from the video I was able to learn a lot about him. He's a sociopathic false-believer that justifies his actions with the holy bible. You can really expand that twisted thinking into a whole couple of episodes comically emphasizing how weird that logic is.

    • @AdAstraCompany
      @AdAstraCompany Год назад +18

      The Dark Night: Captain Bible vs. Sandman

    • @someguywithaphone5921
      @someguywithaphone5921 Год назад +11

      Captain Bible II: Gideon's Quest for King James's Gold, Frankensence, and Murr. (as told by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Jim) (with special guest, the Holy Ghost of Kurt Kobain. Get it? Holy, because, well, you know, very quick-onset lead poisoning.)

  • @Joel-Haver
    @Joel-Haver Год назад +6587

    Perfectly reasonable reaction to someone shooting your face Bible

    • @N-cromancer
      @N-cromancer Год назад +61

      Everytime Joel, everytime.

    • @Me-wx1mt
      @Me-wx1mt Год назад +62

      exactly! If it was like, his arm bible or something, might've been a bit of an overreaction

    • @IMPATIENTCLO
      @IMPATIENTCLO Год назад +5

      I just knew you would be here for some reason

    • @milktenders6219
      @milktenders6219 Год назад +5

      You’re right, he deserved it for besmirching the light of the lord

    • @SwiftNimblefoot
      @SwiftNimblefoot Год назад +6

      Y'd have thought he would try and shoot him in the only unarmored part of his body, the face.

  • @nobody2996
    @nobody2996 Год назад +1318

    "Gay wizard!" "No, I'm the wizard of stealing!"
    Hey, it's an easy mistake to make. The same two dudes played like every villain/minion on the show!

  • @graysonsewell652
    @graysonsewell652 Год назад +3664

    The Bible man cosplay has no right being this good.

    • @panther1911
      @panther1911 Год назад +20

      Hahaha

    • @Zharan_Keating
      @Zharan_Keating Год назад +96

      Kinda crazy he got the intro literally perfect too lol.

    • @ERROR-uk9uc
      @ERROR-uk9uc Год назад +66

      Bro it is great to know someone else know bible man

    • @Zharan_Keating
      @Zharan_Keating Год назад +11

      @@ERROR-uk9uc frfr its so chaotic

    • @Pwilly07
      @Pwilly07 Год назад +14

      Bible Man was my fav show from ages 4-6 so im all for this content

  • @gabagook
    @gabagook 11 месяцев назад +432

    The Wizard of Stealing came out from the closet and he called him gay wizard, lmao

    • @ethanpease5936
      @ethanpease5936 8 месяцев назад +31

      "You made me gay!"

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 2 месяца назад +6

      I’ve never noticed that!

    • @Enc0m43
      @Enc0m43 Месяц назад +5

      That's so fucking funny

    • @timaeus2521
      @timaeus2521 4 дня назад +1

      I mean one look at him and Capptain Bible became gay.

  • @dxaviorsith5603
    @dxaviorsith5603 Год назад +4328

    the way he checked the trash cans and shot inside them was lowkey terrifying

    • @3dgyt33n3
      @3dgyt33n3 Год назад +140

      And he was proven right in the end!!!

    • @ArcYT
      @ArcYT Год назад +75

      The Christian Punisher

    • @rhabeldibabeldi6812
      @rhabeldibabeldi6812 Год назад +67

      He only shot them so they couldnt attack him, which was the right thing to do as you may have noticed

    • @JOfJaZ
      @JOfJaZ Год назад +116

      He didn’t even check them. He opened it and shot THEN checked after.

    • @slycoopracoon2478
      @slycoopracoon2478 Год назад +128

      The "plant the claymore at every entrance so they can't escape" line was the darkest shit I've ever heard lmao

  • @nicholasmartin534
    @nicholasmartin534 Год назад +2964

    I thought this was going to be a real commentary on the “Bible Man” show, and was totally buying it the whole time. You can imagine my shock when he pulled out a gun and they began swearing.

    • @Shod_inSilence
      @Shod_inSilence Год назад +28

      Saaaame.

    • @JohnWilliams-wl9px
      @JohnWilliams-wl9px Год назад +117

      Given the fact they glitched out the part logo and audio saying Captain Bible in the beginning, odds are they wanted the audience to think that

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Had me in the first half, not gonna lie
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

    • @Alrift
      @Alrift Год назад +5

      literally me

    • @playgirlmagazine
      @playgirlmagazine Год назад +23

      So did I. I was doom scrolling and saw this. It was my first video of their's. Now I can't stop.

  • @flippnfadoodle13
    @flippnfadoodle13 Год назад +3613

    "Deceptor, I knew I'd find you alone with a kid" Only 30 seconds in and im dying already

    • @goawayihavecommentstomake1488
      @goawayihavecommentstomake1488 Год назад +115

      I thought he was dressed up as “the Fiddler/Diddler” too, so that made sense lol

    • @meshavillar
      @meshavillar Год назад +62

      That part made me laugh, also "eating drugs" at the beginning 😂

    • @THE-ERADICATOR
      @THE-ERADICATOR Год назад +8

      Brilliance!

    • @Kohl293
      @Kohl293 Год назад +7

      You’re not the only one

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Insert bass boosted vine boom here
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @Gormfeld
    @Gormfeld Год назад +746

    I like how they just took an ordinary episode of Bibleman and added guns to it.

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      “So anyways, I started blasting”
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

    • @dikydankedude
      @dikydankedude 2 месяца назад +2

      Thank you for introducing me to Bibleman

    • @ildaron7457
      @ildaron7457 Месяц назад +2

      Did they also have gay wizard in the Bibleman

    • @nashbellow5430
      @nashbellow5430 23 дня назад

      technically, bible man also beat up the physically handicapped

  • @misterpancakes
    @misterpancakes Год назад +1539

    The whole PSA/kid actor holding a cigarette/joint in unnatural ways is the key detail to these kinds of things 😂

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Oh my
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

    • @snaifhassnan6348
      @snaifhassnan6348 Месяц назад +1

      1.4K 1yr 1reply

    • @Nickyblicky-n5x
      @Nickyblicky-n5x 6 дней назад

      So glad i saw your comment thats absolutely hilarious 😂

  • @TheCheaterFromBibleman
    @TheCheaterFromBibleman Год назад +1770

    I love this. Fun fact, the actual Bibleman would often misquote scripture in his episodes.

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Actually?
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

    • @Kristopian
      @Kristopian Год назад +41

      Yeah :P

    • @thecianinator
      @thecianinator Год назад +82

      Were they using some specific version of the Bible, or just messing up?

    • @nicholas-dv1mg
      @nicholas-dv1mg 11 месяцев назад +105

      i had to read that 3 times before i noticed you said misquote instead mosquito, after what i just watched, it wouldn't have been too crazy.

    • @nicholas-dv1mg
      @nicholas-dv1mg 11 месяцев назад +12

      @chinsaw2727 yes, and?

  • @theogandyrew
    @theogandyrew Год назад +696

    "Consult the book of armaments!" -Captain Bible

    • @someguywithaphone5921
      @someguywithaphone5921 Год назад +17

      Where even is Antioch anyway. Under the rabbit? Oh, it IS the rabbit.

    • @MrBigCookieCrumble
      @MrBigCookieCrumble Год назад +20

      And thou shalt count to 3, and the number of the counting shall be 3!

    • @SwiftNimblefoot
      @SwiftNimblefoot Год назад +9

      Methinks this guy follows the God-Emperor of the Imperium of Men, not Jesus...

    • @birbfromnotcanada
      @birbfromnotcanada Год назад +1

      “Kill commies they bad”
      Armalite 2:23

    • @christophersanders3252
      @christophersanders3252 Год назад +6

      @@MrBigCookieCrumble 5 Is right out!

  • @judithcannotdraw
    @judithcannotdraw 9 месяцев назад +45

    I love how this isn't even that different from the actual show

  • @LikeAFoxStudios
    @LikeAFoxStudios Год назад +1437

    This shouldn’t be possible, but you have once again topped yourselves, and made the greatest sketch on this website.

    • @genevievedisemelo5584
      @genevievedisemelo5584 Год назад +33

      i totally agree, topping yourself shouldn't be possible!

    • @gsleazy1975
      @gsleazy1975 Год назад +2

      One word: A M E N

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Key & peele: AT LAST, A WORTHY OPPONENT! OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @leersay
    @leersay Год назад +1445

    “Don’t judge me, Jesus drank wine too” is such an unbelievably funny line I came

  • @kidchiko9435
    @kidchiko9435 Год назад +648

    Bible blocks the bullet
    The Fibber: that would have been the perfect time to say "the armor of God"

    • @clean_nutzzgaming5290
      @clean_nutzzgaming5290 Год назад +16

      THE FIBBER!! 😂😂😂

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      THE FIBBER!! 😂😂😂
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @thegargoylecumeth7932
    @thegargoylecumeth7932 Год назад +167

    "And the Lord said 'put a claymore at every entrance so they can't escape'." 🤣🤣

    • @afjer
      @afjer 4 месяца назад +6

      The Bible according to crusaders and paladins, probably.

    • @snaifhassnan6348
      @snaifhassnan6348 Месяц назад +3

      97%

  • @nathanielreichley4640
    @nathanielreichley4640 Год назад +951

    The jokes are great and all but that costume is so well constructed! Great job gang

    • @Tigatron1448
      @Tigatron1448 Год назад +25

      Lol right? The production on this was sick.

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      No cap on Darwin frfr
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

    • @davenotstaine5646
      @davenotstaine5646 8 месяцев назад +5

      I would’ve gotten away with it too

    • @maxwellfujs6124
      @maxwellfujs6124 Месяц назад +1

      I liked the lighting… reminded me of Goosebumps

    • @calowenby1654
      @calowenby1654 Месяц назад +1

      The bullet in the little Bible always amazes me.

  • @Cyorex_XV
    @Cyorex_XV Год назад +184

    1:18 I love how the kid in the background is trying so hard to hold back his laughter while being pretending to be absolutely horrified 😂

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Good attention to detail, my friend
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @carpeimodiem
    @carpeimodiem Год назад +186

    "Phillipino 4:12" is perhaps the greatest moment in cinema 🤣

  • @moonlitmortician6694
    @moonlitmortician6694 Год назад +254

    I like to imagine his body armor is just fifty Bibles all stapled together.

  • @noahbruington2542
    @noahbruington2542 Год назад +679

    This is so accurate to source material it hurts. You guys never miss lmao

  • @Nintokis
    @Nintokis Год назад +218

    As someone who's watched several Bibleman VHS' as a kid, I gotta say this is more accurate to the source material than anyone would expect.

  • @Nightraven4321
    @Nightraven4321 Год назад +281

    “Gay wizard” “no I’m the wizard of stealing” “YOU MADE ME GAY” 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @MrWilliamson9411
      @MrWilliamson9411 4 месяца назад +4

      Funniest part of the whole video!! 😂

  • @sonicexpert986
    @sonicexpert986 Год назад +76

    The first minute of this is so barely indistinguishable from the source material it's just... perfect. Then even more hilarity ensues :D

  • @garrethatch5362
    @garrethatch5362 Год назад +337

    God I remember watching Bibleman when I was a kid, the VHS is probably still in my parents basement somewhere

    • @SoRaKe254
      @SoRaKe254 Год назад +7

      remember unice is javis and lucy was ultron

    • @samhodge7460
      @samhodge7460 Год назад +11

      My dad made my brother and I sit through the whole thing when we were kids. It definitely had its moments.

    • @penguinsrbirds2
      @penguinsrbirds2 Год назад +31

      Oh my god I thought you were doing a bit in the comments. Like you were just going along with the joke. Then I Googled, and BIBLEMAN WAS A REAL THING WTF.

    • @garrethatch5362
      @garrethatch5362 Год назад +26

      @penguinsrbirds2 yeah, real and niche but real nonetheless. A good amount of Christian movies for kids were made in the times when cgi was first being a thing, VeggieTales is a good example of these kinds of productions

    • @aaronsmith4940
      @aaronsmith4940 Год назад +2

      Bro upload that shit asap

  • @leonwinchester9865
    @leonwinchester9865 6 месяцев назад +47

    2:27 the "YOU MADE ME GAY" broke me.

  • @the_ant_guy
    @the_ant_guy Год назад +110

    Normally I don't like reboots, but this version of Bibleman is AWESOME!

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      It’s the darker hero trope that everyone wants
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @mikebeute4979
    @mikebeute4979 Год назад +275

    instant nostalgia! i miss the days when i'd watch this with my mom

    • @Finn_01
      @Finn_01 Год назад +16

      Frank Miller wrote this one, right?

    • @Olsenator
      @Olsenator Год назад +13

      @@Finn_01it was written by frank mueller and directed by Clinton Tarantino

    • @SwiftNimblefoot
      @SwiftNimblefoot Год назад +1

      @@Olsenator Quentin. Clinton, that is the democrat guy. :P

    • @meshavillar
      @meshavillar Год назад

      Yes you're right, Quentin Totino. The democratic president was Bill "Murray" Clinton

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      I’m a 2000s kid, but 90s seem like the peak.
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @strongman5243
    @strongman5243 9 месяцев назад +17

    0:53 he turned from captain bible to the shadow real quick

  • @Brandonhayes-r6e
    @Brandonhayes-r6e Год назад +64

    tbh "i knew i'd find you alone with a kid" fucking got me

  • @meshavillar
    @meshavillar Год назад +56

    1:54 The way he's stumbling around like a bumbling idiot, and how hard he hit the wall & trash can makes me bust out laughing😂 and the "bweugh" 🤣🤣💀

  • @SaltStorm007
    @SaltStorm007 Год назад +257

    ‘Sword of the spirit’😂I’m 💀!! Love Wizards with guns....always guaranteed to be hilarious!

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      S-word
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

  • @RedRattt
    @RedRattt Год назад +18

    "Jesus drank wine too" as he lies gasping on the floor.

  • @AlphaShark
    @AlphaShark Год назад +58

    I have always wanted to make a Bible Man parody and you beat me to it, DANG IT. CURSE YOU WIZARDS WITH GUNS! (But excellent video)

  • @NikkiLayne
    @NikkiLayne Год назад +52

    As a kid who was raised in a Christian house and forced to watch Bible Man tapes growing up, you guys nailed the look and tone!

  • @LazarusIsBackBaby
    @LazarusIsBackBaby 11 месяцев назад +16

    This is basically the fantasy of every guy who drives a truck with a Punisher decal and a Jesus Fish decal

  • @EHAmos
    @EHAmos Год назад +19

    4:00 I fully expected Captain Bible to say, "No... Holy Bible."

  • @johnbryant1939
    @johnbryant1939 Год назад +21

    So I grew up as a preacher kid in rural Alabama. We didn't have a lot of money as a kid for Halloween costumes. So My mom got my a Bibleman costume one year and con me into wearing it every year as a kid, saying I'll be the coolest kid around if I wore it. I had the cape, mask, and crappy "light saber". Looking back it was a good child hood, but man those movies sucked.
    This brings back a LOT of memories, though.

  • @friedkin71
    @friedkin71 Год назад +16

    Just seeing him stumble with the assault rifle you didn’t know he had after he threw the grenade made me laugh way harder than it should have.

  • @Calvinerlandson
    @Calvinerlandson Год назад +32

    This sketch has a higher production value than the original

  • @Jack-vz6gy
    @Jack-vz6gy Год назад +27

    I like how he’s not even a superhero he’s just a drunk guy who went to Catholic school with firearms

  • @DJ_Frankfurter
    @DJ_Frankfurter Год назад +13

    I can't believe you guys also know about Bible Man!! I was forced to watch some of those movies at my Baptist elementary school, and this parody really takes me back.

  • @Kano_Productions
    @Kano_Productions Год назад +26

    2:39 as a Catholic, that's esactly how it felt in 1st grade

  • @darthdonkulous1810
    @darthdonkulous1810 Год назад +31

    As soon as he said "jesus christ!" I just knew he was going to get a rocket launcher lmao. Brilliant, brilliant stuff boys!

  • @Chocomint_Queen
    @Chocomint_Queen Год назад +4

    Man, I grew up playing Captain Bible on MS-DOS, I was a little disappointed you didn't work in his catchphrase BIIIBLLLE POOWEEEER
    (That's a real game)

  • @Dinosaurman34
    @Dinosaurman34 Год назад +46

    I can’t wait for the sequel!
    Captain Bible vs Colonel Quran!

  • @Treffaut
    @Treffaut Год назад +10

    Man, I saw the real thing (“Bibleman”) at a Mustard Seed bookstore as a kid. Some mother returned it with a note saying it wasn’t Biblical enough. The store owners clearly disagreed, and played a tape on loop for the public to decide. Kind of funny.

  • @Ismatic1906
    @Ismatic1906 Год назад +119

    I love how this flashes between G is for Jesus episodes in between explosions. I absolutely love this cinematic universe. This will be Achilles heel for the MCU and will finally show the world the importance of christanity.

    • @gsleazy1975
      @gsleazy1975 Год назад +2

      Yep, kill evil with guns😂

    • @spider-man9118
      @spider-man9118 Год назад

      Well, everyone knows the importance of Christianity. I mean, America was founded on it. Haha based on it
      And it’s the “religion” that is not really a religion, it’s a relationship. The others are like “do this” and “do that” whereas Christianity is just “follow Me. We’re going to do some amazing stuff for God’s glory.”
      Ayo I don’t mean to force anything on anyone, but we have various types of evidence for biblical events. If anyone is interested, read on
      Brothers, what have we done. look at us. look at what we've become. This isn't right. we're wasting time going on about girls and sus drawings that don't give a f*ck about us. What is the point of lust? Why do we do this? This doesn't fix our problems, doesn't make the stress and pain go away.
      repent to God, friends. We must stay focused, brothers, on what really matters. I'm only 17, but I'm telling you, in the words of johnny cash, "sooner or later God will cut you down."
      you will lose almost everything important to you. please, for your sakes, repent and turn to Jesus. He is, in the words of Skillet, "better than drugs." He is also better than lust. love > lust. You'll find out that this is true. love may hurt, and same for lust, but lust will keep you chained down, eventually killing you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and possibly physically.
      hell was never meant for us, my fellow youtube user. it was for the devil and his squad, and God gave us the Way out of there since we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
      God knew we were wack, but He decided He was still come down and help us, despite our unfaithfulness. most relationships (like friendships, romantic relationships) aren't like this. Very few, but not a whole lot.
      religion (Christianity) is just a relationship with God along with loving others (see james 1:27)
      also, we have various types of evidence that backs up the Bible.
      Here's one example: Scientists have discovered that the earth "skipped" a day.
      The Bible explains how that happened. In the book of Joshua, Joshua asked the sun to stop so he and the Israelites could defeat their enemies. Then in 2 Kings, King Hezekiah learned he was dying, and pleaded to God to not let him die. God sent a prophet to king hezekiah who said hezekiah would live. Hezekiah wanted a sign, and that would be for the sun to defy the law of inertia and go back 10 degrees. NASA confirmed it and did the math (look it up for more info).
      We also found Noah’s Ark hanging out in turkey, along with anchor stones marked with crosses signifying that it’s a revered place, along with altars and many other things. Look it up, it’s good stuff.
      more evidence for the Bible concerning cosmology and divine revelation in job 26:7, proverbs 8:27, Isaiah 40:22 (read on)
      The idea that the earth was round can be dated back to 600 BC in Greece. It was more widely accepted around the 3rd century (300 BC-201 BC) Note: time was “labeled” differently back then. for example, year 3000, year 420, year 69, year 0, year 1, year 2… and so on.
      Job 26:7: “. . .He [God] hangs the earth on nothing” The book of Job was supposedly written at 2100 BC.
      Proverbs 8:27: “. . .when He drew a circle on the face of the deep. . .” Proverbs was possibly written between 970 and 686 BC
      Isaiah 40:22: “it is He who sits above the circles of the earth. . .” Isaiah was written between 739 and 680 BC.
      How did they know about this? You tell me, my fellow Zoomerz.
      The Holy Spirit exists. I was a slave to s3xual sin for 7-ish d@mn years. Finally at 16, God freed me. Also, look up John Gabbana's (boonk gang) testimony. Dude did a lot of wacky stuff. He's changed now.
      also, the soul exists. someone i know (i won't say who- privacy reasons) saw their soul leaving their body. like pulling off a band-aid, except it doesn't hurt.
      I was suicidal for 9-ish months, but then I read John 3:16, and poof- the big sad went away in one night.
      There are also non-Christian sources who have confirmed the existence and divinity of Jesus, some of which were hostile towards Christianity, such as:
      Thallus (52 AD), who said Jesus lived, was crucified, and confirmed the darkness and earthquake that followed Christ’s crucifixion;
      Tacitus (56-120 AD), who called the followers of Christ Christians, confirmed that Jesus was crucified under Pontus Pilate’s command
      Talmud (400-700 AD), confirmed that the disciples were martyred for their faith, and confirmed Jesus was executed the day before the Passover, and said Jesus had “magical” powers
      Pliny the Younger (61-113 AD), who said that the Christians thought Jesus was/is God in the Flesh (God the Son)
      Phlegon (80-140 AD), who said Jesus had the ability to predict the future, and confirmed that Jesus was crucified during Caesar’s reign, confirmed Jesus rose from the dead, and confirmed He showed His wounds to confirm He was crucified.
      Celcus (175 AD), who said Jesus was born of a virgin, said His father is a carpenter, and confirmed Jesus had miraculous powers
      (See cold-case Christianity for more details)
      Here’s the physical evidence of Jesus and His Resurrection:
      1) No persecution would have started if He hadn’t come back (the disciples thought Jesus would never resurrect)
      2) The Roman soldiers would have paid with their lives if they failed at their jobs
      3) there was a 2-4 ton rock that 11-12 guys would have to move (they didn’t have any help. Everyone said “crucify Him”) major L to those opposed to Jesus
      4) there was a Roman seal which was a metal pin that sealed the tomb stone
      5) Stealing the Jesus’s body isn’t something the disciples would do (besides Judas. Although he hung himself after feeling remorse for betraying Jesus).
      6) the disciples wouldn’t die for what they knew would be a lie. (The lie being Jesus never made the ultimate comeback)
      faith and reason, people
      hit me up to learn more about how science proves the Bible or just about God in general

    • @Ismatic1906
      @Ismatic1906 8 месяцев назад

      @@pricerowland?

  • @elmerhoward3484
    @elmerhoward3484 Год назад +7

    You shot my Bible (lightsaber to the brain) I can't quit laughing 😂

  • @jamisonw.6721
    @jamisonw.6721 Год назад +16

    goddamn, that opening is damn near shot for shot. Amazing stuff

  • @S.A.Masquerade
    @S.A.Masquerade Год назад +8

    This needs a sequel!! Love to see your guy's take on the theme song, and the rehash of literally the same villain dressed up in different costumes and names, and the overly brutal deaths with exploding gore everywhere! (That all was actually in Bibleman).

  • @kadenray9190
    @kadenray9190 Год назад +19

    the best part is this is a real thing named Bibleman

  • @pricerowland
    @pricerowland Год назад +12

    So this guy just has a small bible stuffed into every crevice of his costume then. *Every crevice*

  • @Bigdrangus
    @Bigdrangus Год назад +19

    Jesus drank so much wine his blood turned to alcohol so this is historically accurate

  • @michaelisntcool
    @michaelisntcool Год назад +5

    This is now one of my favourite sketches you guys have made. Please make more with this theme! XD

  • @2percentright
    @2percentright Год назад +140

    It's really odd that Captain Bible thought the Wizard of Stealing was the Gay Wizard. The Gay Wizard doesn't look anything like the Wizard of Stealing. Her name's Tiffini. I've watched a lot of her homosexual videos with her girlfriends.
    A lot.
    She still hasn't made me gay yet.
    Thanks to you, Captain Bible!

    • @zealousdoggo
      @zealousdoggo Год назад +21

      I can also confirm she hasn't made me gay...
      -i already was in the first place-

    • @berwynsigns4115
      @berwynsigns4115 Год назад +3

      What is this referring to?

    • @2percentright
      @2percentright Год назад

      @@berwynsigns4115 lesbian porn

    • @jackbarman7063
      @jackbarman7063 Год назад +15

      @@berwynsigns4115probably straight dudes watching lesbian adult videos lol

  • @overlorddante
    @overlorddante Год назад +18

    I think I speak for all of us when I say this needs to be a full length movie

  • @NathanGrosse
    @NathanGrosse Год назад +42

    I love the set construction and costume work, my guys! This is a top-notch sketch. Thanks for sharing it with us all!

  • @gibblet8368
    @gibblet8368 Год назад +12

    - It's Gay Wizard!
    - But i'm Steal Wizard!
    - You make me gaaaaaay!

  • @RamenDenominator
    @RamenDenominator Год назад +6

    There's still a few Captain Bible's Chicken Pail Restaurants remaining in Texas.

  • @21street-erfication90
    @21street-erfication90 2 месяца назад +6

    That damn Deceptor...always around some kids.

  • @JoshuaMobley-n5w
    @JoshuaMobley-n5w Год назад +15

    I grew up watching Bible-Man as a kid. This is sketch captured the spirit of that show PERFECTLY!!! LMAOOOOOOO!!!

  • @matyera2508
    @matyera2508 8 месяцев назад +11

    3:44 would have been the perfect time to say “I guess that didn’t take 3 days”

  • @DavidADII
    @DavidADII Год назад +13

    I just wanted to say, opening up the trash can and shooting inside it was possibly the funniest joke I've seen all year

  • @MrMagicPenguin12
    @MrMagicPenguin12 Год назад +4

    Holy shit?? The costume game & editing on this is such an upgrade. amazing job guys, this one really got me.

  • @Kalesoup_
    @Kalesoup_ Год назад +82

    Wow, I hate God and love eating drugs too! Such a relatable character backstory, maybe I'll find a special book too someday!

    • @berwynsigns4115
      @berwynsigns4115 Год назад +2

      Go read Da Good and Spesho Book

    • @Grag235
      @Grag235 Год назад +2

      Dude, just go into the woods, Bibles are one of the most easiest drops you can get on Earth, have you NOT gone outside??? There’s probably one next to a tree right now for no reason

    • @CitrineGamer-1
      @CitrineGamer-1 7 месяцев назад

      Hopefully it isn't Huckleberry Finn

  • @sammadhasnain6051
    @sammadhasnain6051 Год назад +7

    You people never cease to amaze me with your creativity. Best channel

  • @gugan_1678
    @gugan_1678 Год назад +15

    I just wish the grenade would have been modeled after the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

  • @Bionicdodo24
    @Bionicdodo24 Год назад +6

    The line"i knew id find you alone with a kid" is hilarious

  • @thewafflemaniak5698
    @thewafflemaniak5698 Год назад +6

    This Knockoff Batman Is Gonna Knockout The Bad Men.

  • @brighterphantom4530
    @brighterphantom4530 9 месяцев назад +3

    0:26 Deceptor! I knew I would find you alone with a kid.
    01:24 Look out kid.
    02:31 You made me *_GAY_*

  • @bigdoubleu117
    @bigdoubleu117 Год назад +338

    Ok, I'm Christian, but this is still hilarious.
    If it doesn't already, this needs Sequels.

  • @mirrikybird
    @mirrikybird 3 месяца назад +3

    The scary thing about captain bible is that when you kill him, he just comes back 3 days later and angrier

  • @TangerinoXD
    @TangerinoXD 2 месяца назад +5

    I need a alt version of this where captain bible actually just leaves and doesnt come back with an RPG or anything

  • @rhabeldibabeldi6812
    @rhabeldibabeldi6812 Год назад +2

    1:24 - 2:15 is my favorite part, I havent laughed that hard from a video in some time! 1:59 and the consequence of that interaction had me in tears 🤣🤣🤣 One of my favorite videos of yours, thank you!

  • @theonlymugen
    @theonlymugen Год назад +4

    That ending caught me off guard 😭 but you guys did really good on the costumes great job!

  • @voidtrotter
    @voidtrotter Год назад +24

    As a pagan getting sent this by your Christian friend at 6 am, this is phenomenal in a way my sleep deprived mind cannot comprehend right now

  • @brianm120
    @brianm120 Год назад +21

    another instant classic, loved 1:15 too much

  • @joan_of_africa
    @joan_of_africa Месяц назад +2

    I did not expect to find a Bibleman parody in 2024…but here we are

  • @ashwhiteforest9078
    @ashwhiteforest9078 Год назад +1182

    "John Bible hated God and loved eating drugs." He's literally me, guys.

    • @BeltFedSelfDefense
      @BeltFedSelfDefense Год назад +2

      Oof

    • @reignbalboa
      @reignbalboa Год назад +23

      Why do you hate God?

    • @Darth_Bateman
      @Darth_Bateman Год назад +75

      I don’t think John Bible stopped eating drugs.

    • @TheRealZombieWizard
      @TheRealZombieWizard Год назад +75

      @@reignbalboa Probably took his lunch money and beat him up, you know God he works in mysterious ways.

    • @dantemoose420
      @dantemoose420 Год назад +23

      ​@@reignbalboahow could you not, considering everything He's responsible for?

  • @JimAbooGames
    @JimAbooGames 2 месяца назад +3

    "Gasp Oooooooooooooh! You said the Lord's name in vane!"

  • @theasbridge9661
    @theasbridge9661 Год назад +8

    As some one who grew up watching “Bible Man” you guys nailed it. That was hilarious.

  • @calumhouston3308
    @calumhouston3308 Год назад +4

    This Captain Bible is like a Judge Dredd parody. I love it.

  • @gazblackheart4596
    @gazblackheart4596 Год назад +37

    Really well done parody of bibleman lol

  • @glorbojibbins2485
    @glorbojibbins2485 Год назад +4

    I like that the cigarette in the beginning is between the wrong fingers

  • @therussianspy0725
    @therussianspy0725 Год назад +6

    Wizards coming back with great content like ever

  • @scoutclark6117
    @scoutclark6117 Год назад +8

    “YOU MADE ME GAY” (turns on full auto) 💀

  • @Sharingon700
    @Sharingon700 Год назад +9

    I actually had to watch Bible Man as a kid, this was surreal. Great video guys!

  • @sinny5404
    @sinny5404 11 месяцев назад +5

    There's no bible verse against guns Batman!
    -The Joker, probably

  • @Brandon_Elizondo
    @Brandon_Elizondo Год назад +69

    At least he seems effective. Those criminals aren't going to escape from prison any time soon

    • @chaoticsilver8442
      @chaoticsilver8442 Год назад +15

      Those criminals aren't even going to prison to escape from! They're heading to the morgue.

    • @Disatiere
      @Disatiere Год назад +15

      @@chaoticsilver8442 Sent to god

  • @legengary5924
    @legengary5924 Год назад +4

    I was Bible Man one year for Halloween as a kid, this unlocked a lot of lost memories

  • @theopenrift
    @theopenrift Год назад +7

    You got me at the first sentence, well done!

  • @amog8202
    @amog8202 Год назад +3

    We expected sunday school, and what we got was the pastor's twitter posts 8 hours later.

  • @DhydratdWatr
    @DhydratdWatr Год назад +9

    this isn't the Christian Bale Batman movie what the heck did I just fall for!!!!

  • @callmev3531
    @callmev3531 Год назад +22

    2:03, Does this mean the only villain that can beat him is a gluttony-themed one that offers booze and drugs? Apparently, just because he stopped hating God, doesn’t mean he stopped loving “eating drugs”.
    Also, people below are calling him a bible-themed Punisher, but I’m getting more a heavily inebriated version of James Gunn’s Peacemaker/Crimson Bolt from this.

  • @Chaos706
    @Chaos706 Год назад +4

    I was not expecting him to pull out the holy gun. (It’s holy because it makes holes)

    • @minaashido518
      @minaashido518 11 месяцев назад +1

      Didn’t even use it on a beard, or a beer, or a bear, or a bearded bear baring a beer with a beard

  • @lanatsif
    @lanatsif Год назад +4

    That "look out kid" is pure genius

  • @elis88630
    @elis88630 Год назад +11

    YOU SHOT MY BIBLE!

  • @Berring117
    @Berring117 Месяц назад +4

    Came searching for copper and found gold