Does Being Popular in High School Really Matter?

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  • Опубликовано: 28 янв 2025

Комментарии • 174

  • @AboveTheNoise
    @AboveTheNoise  7 лет назад +47

    What’s your take on the two different kinds of popularity we talk about in the video? Share your thoughts!

  • @jwohl76
    @jwohl76 7 лет назад +271

    Having a few close friends is definitely better in the long run, but being excluded can be very damaging to self esteem. This is from a 40 year old who was excluded a lot in high school, and didn't know how to transition to college. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for 30+ years, but am getting some much need help now.

    • @AboveTheNoise
      @AboveTheNoise  7 лет назад +25

      JennaLee Designs thanks for sharing your personal experience. Recovering from high school can be a long process, but glad to hear that you are on the upswing now.

    • @catfleas7923
      @catfleas7923 4 года назад +7

      I was excluded by everyone throughout my whole time growing up, I'm 20 and struggle with people more than anything, I lose my temper with people all the time, i'm fully convinced that I will take on life alone, I'm afraid to leave my parents house because I know I'll be alone

    • @dennisli1249
      @dennisli1249 4 года назад +2

      Get excluded from a group of peer even you didn't offend them? Time to plan perfect revenge on them so that they will fear you and keep distance from you. The thing that scares me most is none other than my godly talents

    • @ahmedamanable
      @ahmedamanable 3 года назад +2

      Great to have a good couple of friends & feeling left out is truly a bummer but we must remember that as long as we believe & know that we're doing our best in the important areas of life, we should not worry about who likes us & who doesn't. I truly hope things are going better for you & everyone in the comments section. I pray we all do great in all aspects of life, pray to God & rely upon God, & come out from tough times even stronger:)

  • @fifiimensah4136
    @fifiimensah4136 4 года назад +278

    Popularity doesn't really matter once you're out of high school since you probably won't see most of the people you went to high school with once you graduate ever again. Pretty much in adulthood, you start fresh.

    • @coffintears5821
      @coffintears5821 3 года назад +23

      I dont think school popularity amounts to anything since you dont really achieve anything other than a social group. The people who like to treat the real world like its highschool says they've never mentally grew up past the age of 16.

    • @fifiimensah4136
      @fifiimensah4136 3 года назад +27

      @@coffintears5821 Yep, many of the people who were known as the misfits and outcasts back in school turn out to be the unique and creative adults anyway.

    • @oldskoolmusicnostalgia
      @oldskoolmusicnostalgia 3 года назад +4

      I noted the same: many of my peers who were popular and liked in high school have found it hard to accept the idea that outside it, they had little status and had to battle for recognition.

    • @ShadowDante7
      @ShadowDante7 2 года назад +2

      Exactly. I mean let’s say you were popular and just finished high school. What’s next, in college and every job interview are you gonna say “oH I wAs pOpUlAr iN hIgH sChOoL” yeah well no one actually gives a ****

    • @bandlessone
      @bandlessone 2 года назад +1

      Sometimes... the starting fresh part..... this shit followed me for years, I had to move to get away from it. I was 23 when I finally "started fresh"

  • @charlesderosas5577
    @charlesderosas5577 3 года назад +100

    High school popularity= vanity and narcissism
    Real world world popularity= hustle and success.

  • @InfectedChris
    @InfectedChris 7 лет назад +242

    I have a few close friends, but I moved out of the black hole of an area we grew up in. The people who are the happiest, have all left town.
    The "popular" girls all got knocked up and now sit in the dive bars and will be in the same city for the rest of their lives. No thanks.

    • @dinodude7290
      @dinodude7290 6 лет назад +9

      it feels good to see them in that state...

    • @Anna-rb6rg
      @Anna-rb6rg 5 лет назад +2

      same, though i'm from Russia

  • @MalaysianTropikfusion
    @MalaysianTropikfusion 7 лет назад +354

    Do American kids in general really want to be popular at school? Prom kings and queens? It's seriously a goal? I've always thought it was just a movie trope.

    • @emilymarsico4223
      @emilymarsico4223 6 лет назад +54

      Ezehelm yes it's a real thing all teen girls are dying to be prom queen

    • @jolte4
      @jolte4 5 лет назад +41

      I don't know, it's not awful. A lot of kids care about popularity but i'd say most just have their own medium sized friend group. its like 60% have their own friend groups with around 10 kids, 30% care about popularity and 10% have very few friends.

    • @m1kkeeee752
      @m1kkeeee752 5 лет назад +2

      wearelegion na it’s true

    • @bugfairy
      @bugfairy 4 года назад +1

      fuck off idc if im popular or not it

    • @pedror5830
      @pedror5830 4 года назад +5

      @@bugfairy And probably, you aren't. And it's ok.

  • @DeanRendar
    @DeanRendar 6 лет назад +179

    universal karma has a special type of fate sorted out for those who took pleasure in the demise of others

    • @jimmyjacuzzi5424
      @jimmyjacuzzi5424 5 лет назад +1

      Bullshit

    • @core8498
      @core8498 4 года назад +4

      @@jimmyjacuzzi5424 lmao toxic

    • @yak.556
      @yak.556 3 года назад +2

      I’m seeing that now I’m trying to better myself

    • @pyn_rae
      @pyn_rae 3 года назад

      @@yak.556 same man

    • @auandaily
      @auandaily 3 года назад

      @@jimmyjacuzzi5424 you are indeed

  • @jasmeetsingh5
    @jasmeetsingh5 3 года назад +82

    High school popularity doesn't pay the bills. Jobs don't care about how popular you were in high school, they only care about what you can do for their company. A lot of popular kids in high school will end up as bums when they're adults, because they think that they don't actually have to work.

    • @CornPopWazABadDude
      @CornPopWazABadDude 2 года назад +3

      Wrong. HS popularity is typically an indicator of how well somebdy will network in the real business world. Almost all the most popular ppl from my HS are successful now. Only the super jocks who were only popular because of sports, aren't. They mostly end up with low paying jobs like PE coach, security gaurd, cop, things like that...

    • @sarahjoponziolifeteamprinc6060
      @sarahjoponziolifeteamprinc6060 Год назад

      Amen! I was not in popular in school to and I not like be popular!

    • @calebpark665
      @calebpark665 Год назад

      @@CornPopWazABadDudethat’s cap 😂

    • @CornPopWazABadDude
      @CornPopWazABadDude Год назад +2

      @@calebpark665 IDK what school you went to, but at mine all the popular group made good grades, went to college and got good jobs. Even a lot of the jocks. I was just saying that out of the popular group, it's mostly the dumber side of jocks that weren't that sort of ended up being losers. Not all of them. The dumber jocks I guess u could say, there lot of smarter ones that made good grades too tho.
      Druggies weren't really popular where I went, so those types a lot are actually gone now. Pretty sad, went to school with lot of them since like 1st grade.
      Out of the outcast/loaner/nerd types it's a total mix of how they ended up. Some good, some not. But literally almost all of the popular group have good jobs, families etc now.

    • @calebpark665
      @calebpark665 Год назад

      @@CornPopWazABadDude ok I get it that’s kind of rare because most popular groups In high school in America are into partying and drinking and then most of them end up not doing well later in life

  • @spawncampe
    @spawncampe 3 года назад +52

    Worrying about highschool popularity is like caring about an insects opinion of your clothes

  • @MusiCaninesTheMusicalDogs
    @MusiCaninesTheMusicalDogs 7 лет назад +49

    I never was likable nor popular, and I'm uninteresting, dumb, ugly and boring. How come I still managed to get married and find a job that will at least not let me die of hunger on the streets?

  • @katrielsn
    @katrielsn 6 лет назад +91

    There are these girls at my school and there really snobby and cut you in line try to act coool and call people names they even gossip about grades and whenever someone makes one mistake in sports they get SO MAD and if it is their friends making a big mistake they just laugh it off

    • @katrielsn
      @katrielsn 4 года назад

      @Rajnandini Mukhopadhyay ?

    • @Jeremy-sj3pr
      @Jeremy-sj3pr 3 года назад

      They will suffer in life

    • @watitduful
      @watitduful Год назад

      That’s considered cool?

    • @PabloRuizMega
      @PabloRuizMega 9 месяцев назад

      @@katrielsn in my school when a person bought people pizzas, drinks, gifts and other stuff people would hang out with that person but they would not like or accept that person

  • @akaltar
    @akaltar 7 лет назад +52

    My theory on why being "popular" vs having close friends pays off later in life is simply that those friends you are close with could help you land jobs. In todays world, so many of the best jobs are available only if you know the right people. Also maybe something to do with collaboration.

    • @AboveTheNoise
      @AboveTheNoise  7 лет назад +7

      Interesting theory. But the research would suggest that popularity driven by status actually doesn't pay off late in life. Most of the popular kids end up dealing with anxiety and depression, where as the people with a few close friends seem to thrive.

  • @nataliejade1913
    @nataliejade1913 5 месяцев назад +1

    ngl being unpopular really messed up my mental health and my life. Left school 11 years ago and I'm still in therapy trying to heal from having been disliked and ridiculed and humiliated by so many people

  • @Anna-rb6rg
    @Anna-rb6rg 5 лет назад +17

    communities of children and adolescents are more like ancient tribes, when self-confidence and strength are more important than diligence. At school, the one who knows how to joke, have fun, lead is appreciated, but in today's society for success it is necessary to be subordinated, and it is not easy for alpha males. And the theory about "cool" bad habits is very plausible

  • @wowman542
    @wowman542 7 лет назад +55

    I can't say this is the case for everyone but I mainly went through high school keeping a close group of friends and just seeking them out again and again when I can to hang out. Not because I didn't want to be popular but it just seemed easier for me to manage 5 friends and their interests rather than 30 and above.

    • @AboveTheNoise
      @AboveTheNoise  7 лет назад +7

      wowman542 sounds like a good approach to me!

  • @aaroncallahan119
    @aaroncallahan119 4 года назад +20

    Of course its not important your boss doesnt give a shit if your 33 and popular. Do your job or your fired. Lmao

  • @mariya8953
    @mariya8953 5 лет назад +17

    sooo i had loads of friends in primary school cos i was nice, and now i’m not that popular but I have a bunch of super close friends. that means i’m gonna be rich and happy in the future ??? let’s get it

  • @theguitarhero7454
    @theguitarhero7454 7 лет назад +38

    I think that having a few close friends rather than alot of power allows you to form bonds on a more personal level. 😊

  • @absrule2733
    @absrule2733 3 года назад +5

    I never cared my highschool. They started reputation deadly rumors. Won't see me at a reunion. No joke.

  • @katherineraquelle1930
    @katherineraquelle1930 3 года назад +14

    Honestly I haven't heard much from anyone who I went to High School with as far as them doing big things... mostly the loud, popular, pretty girls who were in my gym class during high school have now turned quiet in the real world. The irony. So the way I see it is the tables have turned since I left hs. :)

  • @snartdingus
    @snartdingus 6 лет назад +21

    it seems very possible that things like economic status and minority status may effect these things. I'd be moee interest in a study that follows race, ability, and economic status along side status and likability. Also I imagine things are different in a wealthy white school district as opposed to a poorer and more diverse one.

  • @12cc95
    @12cc95 4 года назад +14

    Sports has a massive part to play.

    • @steve19811
      @steve19811 Год назад

      because being a team player/leader, having a physically healthy body etc all matter to future happiness/success.

  • @Tshego2000
    @Tshego2000 3 года назад +12

    I didn't realise that kids want to be popular until mid high school...I always thought "nah, people aren't shallow to that extent". Long story short I was sadly mistaken.

  • @chicagolandable
    @chicagolandable 5 лет назад +36

    High status and likability go hand in hand. They are really just one in the same thing. The more likable you are the more high status you are. Also.... being likable is not a choice....either the cards are stacked in your favor or against you. There is really isn't that much one can do to make themselves likable or otherwise.

    • @janeroserivarga8917
      @janeroserivarga8917 3 года назад +1

      Best to not force it then. If you're not popular then don't try to be, just be satisfied with what you have.

    • @Jeremy-sj3pr
      @Jeremy-sj3pr 3 года назад +2

      That’s not true at all. For example most people didn’t actually like the “powerful” jocks and the popular girls, but they were considered high status and people were scared of them.

  • @be5608
    @be5608 3 года назад +6

    The reason why is because popular realise that life is not High School Musical, where they are treated like gods and nerds being able to access success in life

  • @carlaafonso6194
    @carlaafonso6194 7 лет назад +36

    This channel is really good!

    • @AboveTheNoise
      @AboveTheNoise  7 лет назад +6

      Carla Afonso thanks for the positive feedback! We’re glad you like it!

  • @auandaily
    @auandaily 3 года назад +19

    those popular kids in my highschool as far as i know, they are not popular anymore after they went to college cuz nobody cares. they really peaked in highschool 😭😂🤣

  • @joegrizzly999
    @joegrizzly999 4 года назад +17

    It doesn't matter in reality. People are just lost at this point those type of people peaked in high school and never get over it.

  • @foxford548
    @foxford548 6 лет назад +12

    Just discovered this channel (via a PBS Space Time shoutout) and it's great! The topics are tackled well, both hosts are engaging and charismatic, I love the humour and more informal tone, and each video is thought-provoking and well worth watching. You've earned a subscribe, and a myriad of likes!! :)

    • @AboveTheNoise
      @AboveTheNoise  6 лет назад

      J Ellis thanks for watching and for your positive feedback! We are so glad you like the content enough to subscribe! We hope we keep delivering videos you find insightful!

  • @rrrrrr7041
    @rrrrrr7041 4 года назад +14

    Popularity is good if u r being urself. It doesn't rly matter, but there's nothing wrong with having fun

    • @lexihunnel2089
      @lexihunnel2089 2 года назад

      rrr rrr really

    • @rrrrrr7041
      @rrrrrr7041 2 года назад

      @@lexihunnel2089 It doesn't rly matter as soon as u r out of school. The thing is popular kids usually possess positive traits like being more outgoing, talkative, friendly, confident that matter in real life

    • @lexihunnel2089
      @lexihunnel2089 2 года назад

      @@rrrrrr7041 but popularity does not mean that you are better than someone else

    • @rrrrrr7041
      @rrrrrr7041 2 года назад

      @@lexihunnel2089 never said that. I said they usually have good characteristics that make it easier for them to succeed in the real world

  • @NoContextRDH
    @NoContextRDH 2 года назад +14

    The one thing I’ve learned is that it definitely doesn’t matter. I wish I knew that when I was in high school

  • @pink_lemon1164
    @pink_lemon1164 3 года назад +11

    Usually the leader of the popular clique would usually gain weight even though most don't do carbs

  • @CornPopWazABadDude
    @CornPopWazABadDude 2 года назад +3

    The popular group at my HS was made up of a bunch of smaller closer cliques, that were all cool with each other. So mostly I've kept up with the guys from my smaller group, but see the rest of the "popular" group around every now and then.
    I'd imagine that's how it is at every school though? Hard to believe anybody really keeps close touch with 30+ people. That'd be like a full time job.

  • @kyokoyumi
    @kyokoyumi 6 лет назад +15

    So what if you're like me and you weren't popular in high school and you aren't popular as an adult?

    • @steve19811
      @steve19811 Год назад

      Not unless you change your attitude.....

  • @MyThoughtzAndOpinionz
    @MyThoughtzAndOpinionz Год назад +1

    When I was in high school, my goal was to try to get along with everybody. That’s probably why I never got suspended in high school.

  • @seanbean6541
    @seanbean6541 5 лет назад +19

    I really enjoy this video. I stay pretty quiet at school.

  • @RupaniJuvell
    @RupaniJuvell 5 лет назад +9

    I would love to see a video on the other side of this. Why do some people have a very difficult time making friends? I imagine there's a variety of reasons and I would like to see them explored. I am one such person. Usually people tell me it's because of 1 of 3 possible reasons: 1. I'm too nice (I think this is BS) 2. it's being because I come from an abusive home and didn't learn how to form close relationships early on (seems possible but there are so many people today who have that same past so I don't know) 3. I'm too smart ( I am a lot smarter than most, but there are a lot of geniuses out there that are surrounded by friends so I doubt this one too.)
    So what's the science behind people who don't have friends and what's the science to making friends?

    • @AboveTheNoise
      @AboveTheNoise  5 лет назад +1

      Thanks for leaving this interesting and thought provoking comment. Lots of good questions here. One channel that I really like for understanding the psychology of relationships is "The School of Life." Here is one episode that might get at some of this: ruclips.net/video/CCl8yd9HgCE/видео.html

    • @persephonevii
      @persephonevii 2 года назад +1

      I think it boils down to the type of bond you had with your parents. If you parents were dismissive, distant, not emotionally supportive or connected to you, I think this sets a pattern in the person whereby forming connections is difficult. You don't know how to get close to people because getting and maintaining closeness was not modelled to you, and even depicted as undesirable or icky by the parent. So even if you desire closeness or start receiving it, you pull away because of the negative association from childhood. Lastly, if you never felt that your parents were connected to you and "had your back" emotionally, you might find it difficult to trust and open up to others - I mean if you are own parents can't be bothered to do this with you, your young mind could conclude something must be terribly wrong with you! Or you tried to reach out to your parents, keep getting rejected/judged, so you shutdown. This is my theory based on my own experiences and witnessing the few close friends I have in life.

    • @georgebrankov2143
      @georgebrankov2143 8 месяцев назад

      Already, the parentships are became extremely overrated. They only tell you things you really want to hear, but not that what you need. They use you as a support whenever they don't want to deal and make you the man in the family when all you care about is how to live your life. Well, it's fine without them.

  • @mayracolon9745
    @mayracolon9745 4 года назад +7

    Is being popular so important in usa? Like I'm from Puerto Rico and no one is really popular in the schools

  • @FlyyGirl1000
    @FlyyGirl1000 3 года назад +16

    I was notorious & problematic in high school bc I didn’t want those years to be boring . Plus, I was dealing w/ a lot of shit in my home life & internally, so that’s why I always wanted the spotlight on me

    • @kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239
      @kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239 3 года назад

      So are you still like that now? Did you change? Did you regret your decision? Hows life going for you right now?

    • @FlyyGirl1000
      @FlyyGirl1000 3 года назад

      @@kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239 what’s it to you? 🥴🧐

    • @kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239
      @kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239 3 года назад

      @@FlyyGirl1000 girl i dont know you🤣🤣

    • @FlyyGirl1000
      @FlyyGirl1000 3 года назад

      @@kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239 yet you still asked me those questions, tho.

    • @kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239
      @kananelokatlehoraliapeng7239 3 года назад

      @@FlyyGirl1000 1st of all, that didnt any sense. 2nd of all, i asked out of curiosity CUZ I DONT KNOW YOU🤷‍♀️if you dont wanna answer, just say so. Instead you decide to be a mean girl for no reason😐 weirdo. Hope you seek help❤️

  • @arkhamsquire4503
    @arkhamsquire4503 5 лет назад +7

    I stayed true to a small group of friends and I love them to death yet I hate myself and I freak out about everything.Am I just psychotic?

    • @mr_moon204
      @mr_moon204 3 года назад

      Nah you just sensitive

  • @lindasmith2266
    @lindasmith2266 4 года назад +19

    i could care less if i was popular in school. nintendo came out and i was trying to win that game super mario bros. i finally did.

  • @hopeoconnor1626
    @hopeoconnor1626 4 года назад +11

    I was popular in high school, but I’m a nice person.

  • @lucasbates4950
    @lucasbates4950 3 месяца назад

    My school was very toxic. They had a really big obsession over sports. And honestly they would expand the school every few years just to compete with the bigger school districts like Milwaukee. The kids that went to the sports and that stuff were usually the very toxic ones. And there a lot of spoiled kids that went there. I've had serious depression back in those days. If you live in Wisconsin you've probably heard about D.C Everest.

  • @AthAthanasius
    @AthAthanasius 7 лет назад +7

    If you want videos shared it would be useful if you'd tweet each new video. I just checked the linked twitter account and couldn't see a post for this one.

  • @huntas4712
    @huntas4712 2 года назад +3

    Y’all know popularity is a joke when people decide to attend a party school just because their “friends” go there

  • @juliaesposito7359
    @juliaesposito7359 11 месяцев назад

    Great video! 😊

  • @snartdingus
    @snartdingus 6 лет назад +7

    could you do an episode about how schools continue to be segregated?

  • @siredith8846
    @siredith8846 3 года назад +7

    I never wanted to be popular. I can’t stand people. I suck at peopling.

  • @wulver810
    @wulver810 2 года назад +2

    All the popular kids died over the years that I know.... uhh don't go diggin around my back yard, and the basement is off limits.

  • @Vampira_robin
    @Vampira_robin 3 года назад +1

    You are so right

  • @MOONCAT666
    @MOONCAT666 6 лет назад +2

    Wasn't popular then and certainly am not now. I havnt had friends in about 7 years since I graduated from college and have only ever truly bonded with 1 person.
    I'm fat, ugly and have no social skills so I guess I'm fucked. Yay

  • @gabrielsomething8683
    @gabrielsomething8683 4 года назад +3

    I see a lot of attractive people where I live. But they are sticking needles in their arms and after a few months they look old and deformed. They might have very thick legs, but that depends in how bad they get. Btw, legs get thick because it's swollen, maybe you will see some liquid spilling out. 90% are white. Very dissapointing to see people destroy themselves like that. Once one of them asked me if I took any drugs. He listed some names and I said no. He told me that I am boring and don't know how to have fun. I just looked at him in his 20 hunched and barely being able to walk. I just kept walking.

    • @steve19811
      @steve19811 Год назад

      You must not be living in any upscale suburbs where attractive white people live and raise families.

  • @YourLocalPunkAnarchist
    @YourLocalPunkAnarchist 2 года назад +1

    this started in elementary school.

  • @Shanaevaz
    @Shanaevaz 2 года назад +1

    It not that they like you it's that they scared ah you. Your right tho
    Imagine being friends with someone just because you are afraid if you don't
    They friends must go threw alot of
    Trama
    Especially the ones that be like you can't be with so or hang with so
    Smh
    I know one person that is so fake but people hang with them and they know they fake I have nothing against her
    But I use to call them fake for hanging with her
    But now I understand why tho
    They friends are saying
    I rather be the bully than the bullied
    Dam man
    Its sad tho
    I rather be likable that one girl people get along with
    Status don't matter
    I Just do me
    Period

  • @nyosrevenge7332
    @nyosrevenge7332 4 года назад +1

    2 years ago

  • @CaapriceTube1
    @CaapriceTube1 4 года назад +5

    What happens to popular people when they graduate........THEY GRADUATE??
    That is the question, lol.

  • @jldstuff393
    @jldstuff393 6 лет назад +2

    BUT WHAT DOES YOUR SHIRT SAY?

    • @jldstuff393
      @jldstuff393 6 лет назад

      Also feeling very vindicated about my high school social life right now. Thanks!

  • @kaliehall-to8im
    @kaliehall-to8im Год назад

    Back then high school I did hangout popular kids before I met soul sister Nicole Keaton she welcomed me group my name is Heather

  • @davidsaroea5530
    @davidsaroea5530 2 года назад +1

    I wanted to get revenge until I found out the guys dad killed himself and he went to jail for a while

  • @nastjastamenkovic1745
    @nastjastamenkovic1745 3 года назад

    never taught about that actually

  • @steve19811
    @steve19811 Год назад

    This must be a joke. All the kids I know who were moderately popular and likable all seem to be living good lives. The insecure/resentful ones either overachieving for "success" or living mediocre lives at best.

  • @RasWandeyi
    @RasWandeyi 4 года назад +3

    yall are like film theory but less information

  • @absrule2733
    @absrule2733 3 года назад +1

    Who cared about my school really! I mean Our Lady of Mother Marsha.

  • @Rocksteddybelmont
    @Rocksteddybelmont 5 лет назад

    No

  • @coleisamole
    @coleisamole Месяц назад

    Short answer: no

  • @ineverwingiveawayssadly791
    @ineverwingiveawayssadly791 7 лет назад

    Yes

  • @DipItInLove
    @DipItInLove 5 лет назад

    Guess we're all fucked then? XD

  • @SirTerenceTheThird
    @SirTerenceTheThird 6 месяцев назад

    nahh

  • @melodydito4723
    @melodydito4723 3 года назад

    👏

  • @acegabrielcruz3687
    @acegabrielcruz3687 4 года назад +2

    I may be popular but I'm a nice person

  • @salamiond
    @salamiond Год назад

    it matters. Working in group projects with cringy sociopaths is horrible

  • @CmdrTigerKing
    @CmdrTigerKing Год назад

    what non popular kids say

  • @julijajelic6334
    @julijajelic6334 4 года назад

    No