“My wife doesn’t want me to take a $720k job offer”
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- Опубликовано: 8 янв 2024
- Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Mel and Babu. Both are 33 year-old doctors. Babu’s nearly done with his training, putting a huge decision in front of them about where to live and how much he’ll earn. The income numbers are staggering, but how they both feel about money isn’t affected by the number in their bank account.
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Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
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I get what Mel was saying.
She wanted recognition for her career and personal sacrifices in following Babu and financially supporting both of them for several years. She lost opportunities to further her career that she fears will never come her way again.
She was afraid that, should things go pop for Babu, that she could not earn enough to support both of them.
She was afraid of being financially dependent on Babu, given the experiences of other women in her family.
She fears being inferior in their relationship, and that her needs may be ignored in the pursuit of Babu's success.
These are valid emotions and should not be dismissed.
I don't see it as unhealthy competition but as a need for validation, respect, and consideration.
I agree. I thought I had more of an equal partnership when I was married, supporting my husband when he was in school or when his work was slow or he was unemployed, but I was wrong. Hopefully Babu is not the kind of man my now exhusband is. As soon as I was home with the children and he was the wage earner, he did not treat me as an equal but as a dependent who must do as he asked. It was like the power went to his head. Hopefully this will not happen here.
I agree with 95% of this. Her feelings, fears and dreams ARE real. She’s a good woman, and she’s deeply committed to a better future for everyone in her tribe… AND she’s demonstrating an unhealthy level of competition. That doesn’t make her bad, it makes her human. She also seems to have a very healthy level of self awareness.
She does say near the end of the conversation something very near to “I’m just afraid… that I’ll never be able to win again.”
Mel is being smart, she is intuitively sensing how he is potentially going to power trip. I get that sense too. He speaks about the move based solely on how he can “be the man”, not on how he can be the best husband to her.
If this ridiculously high earning husband were to suddenly die only a few months into their new plan, or even just a few years, it makes sense to have some kind of backup plan that feels good enough financially in mind, like a plan to go back to work even if you had quit your job. If you know you can go back and earn a very good living even if not nearly that level you were accustomed to, that would be reassurance in a worst case scenario. What sucks is if you get into a dynamic where you can't afford your own home if your husband were to suddenly not be there anymore and that's where a lot of life insurance steps in and even alimony because it's so hard to not continue with the amount of income you thought you'd have. It can be devastating to your life you've built to suddenly have way less.
So I get to some degree how she doesn't accept what her husband is about to start making really counts fully as money she can feel secure in counting on. It's different than when its your own salary. It just is.
Oh yeah, earning and spending your own money is empowering in and of itself. Women have seen way too many moms and females peers get treated as second class by men, after they gave up their careers for the family. We all don't want to end up like that and therefore are much more careful. Social pressure to domesticate women using 1950s ideas of housewives, is still rampant. Two sets of parents and him, all standing on one side, strong arming her to put him first, is no joke. @@VioletEmerald
I think what a lot of people aren’t understanding is that him taking his high paying job means they have to move. She’s been moving around and following him for a long time AND she’s been supporting their household for years even working jobs she doesn’t like in order to do it. She wants to stay in the job she loves and that can’t happen if they have to move for this higher paying job. She’s not just mad that he would make more money than her. She just wants to be able to do something for herself for once because their whole relationship has been about prioritizing him.
Interesting take! She does admit they’ve both been making sacrifices. Maybe she needs to create a fuller vision of what she wants and then she’ll better to be able to evaluate the different options they have. If she sees how his higher paying job can enable her rich life maybe she’d feel better about it. I know her current job is better than her last, but doesn’t sound like it’s quite the dream job yet.
I like your take on her feeling like the decision is another one based on his career instead of their family or her career. She doesn’t even know what she wants so I don’t think staying would make her happy either.
That’s how it seems to me too. And it’s fair if she doesn’t want to live 5 minutes from their families.
Isn't it a big part about being a doctor? They get matched with different hospitals across the country since beginning
@@stalinov91I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of doctors who have been in the same city for decades. It’s a choice they make for their career whether they want to move or not
Well Husband leads the family, saying yes is agreeing that this is the leader you chose for your family and relationship.
It's quite interesting watching commenter after commenter try to impose their values on this couple ("I can't believe they talked about their GPA" and "Why do they have debt??"). Unless you are a mixed-culture couple of extremely high achievers making an extremely high income, you likely cannot understand what Mel and Babu are going through. This is why I loved that they knew their GPAs -- all academic high achievers do -- and why I asked about their cultural backgrounds and obligations. Please use this video to listen and learn from people who might have radically different backgrounds than you.
As an “academic high achiever”, I have literally no idea what my gpa was. I think the point of the comments was to highlight the fact that hyper-focus on the numbers (whether it be a gpa or salary), can create unnecessary and unhealthy tension in a relationship. Pointing out a cultural difference is not an excuse and does not solve the root of the problem.
I'm also an academic high achiever and I agree. We're a bit neurotic and overthinking. I'm glad they came to share. I could relate to them in that way.
Friendly competition is okay, but if you define your self-worth by the outcome of the competition it makes things difficult for the individual and relationships.
I make more than my wife now but next time we get raises it’s likely she’ll make more than me. Then when we have kids she wants to work fewer hours and I’ll make more than her again. We joke about our respective salaries and who makes more, but at the end of the day we’re a team and have family goals. If the salary competition gets in the way of those family goals then it’s counterproductive.
Seems like If Mel could let go how their numbers compare she could look at the decision more clearly. My wife as a nurse does way more good in the world in her job than I do as a data analyst even if I’m making more money. If they both can practice that rich vision muscle these decisions will be clearer.
Great content Ramit and thanks for the amazing work you do. Props to the couple for having the courage to come on the show.
I'm surprised you didn't address the fact that though it may be admirable to want and believe they could live the same lifestyle as before, as you know, part of the reason people are given such high salaries is so the can meet certain societal expectations of the firm he's joining. It's not acceptable for them to be living in a small apartment. He'll have social obligations and expectations to meet and use his high salary, at least in part, to fulfill them.
Also in a mixed relationship with both high earners one being in finance one being a physician. I find this response condescending.
I so appreciate these type of professionals being willing to come on this platform and be vulnerable. It’s not often us “normal” people get to see behind the curtains of high achievers. And realizing that it doesn’t matter how much money they make, they still face the same worries as everyone else.
Thank you. That's one of my favorite parts of doing this podcast -- shining a light on topics that are too often kept behind closed doors
What it proves money does not solve all problems.
Asking your spouse to move back to be by her family when she clearly doesn't want it so you can make more money is the opposite of a rich life. She probably doesn't want to be by his family also! This is, along with giving up her job she likes, is a huge ask.
This is probably my favorite episode so far, and I think it's because of how tender Babu and Mel are with each other. It comes across that they really do appreciate each other. Babu is going to have to continue to learn to feel his feelings and not let his inner quant take over, and Mel is aware that she needs to not let her anxiety over health concerns and the unpredictability of life (both real things!) overrule the very sound plan that she and Babu have built as partners. Finally, I love that part of their rich life is basically to be the ideal first gen kids, and just wow the pants off of their parents. Taking your frugal, grindset elders first class back home? SWAG! I love them. Go get it, I wish them the best.
Beautiful comment. Thank you for watching
Your video about financial gurus was disguting, YOU ARE a finacial guru LMAO @@ramitsethi
One thing I appreciate about Ramit that isn’t talked about enough is how he says “my coworker” or “someone on my team” instead of “my employee” or other demeaning terms of superiority 👏👏👏
This was highlighted for me in this episode as Babu referred to Mel as "my wife" through most of the episode. (Interstingly, they still gave off mutual respect vibes. So much so that I kept thinking he was referring to someone else when he said it!)
I've always referred to paralegals I work with as colleagues. I hate it when I see my law school classmates saying "my paralegal" or dentists saying "my assistant." Doesn't feel right saying they're yours. They're a paralegal. They're an assistant. And they are very important to your work.
@@the1337fleet Being a leader means you have ownership of your team. You are responsible for their wins and losses. When times are good, they can be "someone you work with," but they will quickly want to be "your paralegal" when revenue is down.
10 million dollars to retire definitely does not sound at all like an unrealistic goal . Will most people ever get there? No. But I’m guessing for two highly specialized physicians who are financially savvy it’s more than possible. I wish them both the best. It’s absolutely adorable that they’ve been together since 14 and I’m so impressed by their single minded dedication to succeed. I really hope they get to enjoy their life now after all that hard work!
I don’t understand the negative commentary. This couple actually communicate with each other and want the best for their future.
Whoever falls on one of these two as their doctor is a very lucky person. So smart and caring both of them. Particularly Mel, she strikes me as a doctor who gives 110% to everything she does. Good luck to both of you!
I'm really curious what specialties they're in! They do seem like truly amazingly caring doctors.
My guess is that she is a primary care provider or pediatrician. Sadly, they are the lowest paying providers.
I have the complete oppposite opinion. Never once did they mention going in to medicine to help people or getting any job satisfaction from helping people, its just going in to a field to make money. This is everything that is wrong with the health INDUSTRY in America.
This headline is unfair to her. Their situation is far more complex than it suggests.
This right here. When I first read the headline, I was like she sounds crazy! But after watching the video what she's saying makes sense. The headline may be true, but it's definitely not that black and white.
The headline is what gets you to click on the video. Obviously that's not the whole story.
@@jeanineweise Some folks judged them because of the headline and didn't watch much of the video before they commented.
I felt the same but it dies make you click which is its job. The headline is the only thing I didn't love about this episode
it's purely for clickbait purposes. unfortunately that's the youtube landscape we live in
and business is not about being right or wrong
business is about making money
48:12 She says: "... calmness and peace knowing that our shovel to get there is big"
When I heard this, I almost dropped the weights I was lifting cos I laughed so hard! Girl, what y'all got ain't no shovel, it's a strip-mining excavator! Great job to both of y'all!
😂😂😂
Love this episode! It made me cry because as a new full fledged physician, now board certified, I can relate with so many of both of their fears, worries, feelings, and desires. I wish them the best in this new chapter.
I have never seen numbers like this in my life!!! Hats off to these two.. i cannot imagine the hard work they do everyday to earn those numbers
Yeah no wonder medical expenses in US are astronomical
The honesty is so profound. Most of the time we listener/viewers love to "feel better" about ourselves watching people making stupid choices an being stupid with their money. Or finding amusment with people who cannot get out of their own way. Then you see people like Mel. She has made all the right moves, put herself through years of schooling and makes a great yearly salary. But I wonder if her greatest/most satisfying feeling in the recent years was being THE provider. Speaking from experience, the PROVIDER role can be empowering and intoxicating. And not in the "power trip...I'm the final decision maker" way...but in the "I like the feeling of bringing stability into the game". Sometimes people like that have a hard time dealing with finally letting go. Thank you for being so vulnerable....in public.
May I add one word that is too rarely used these days - that word is joy. People talk about being content or happy, but they rarely talk about being joyous. Ramit, I think that when you talk about the rich life, this is frequently what you mean, and that word might help what you are trying to communicate.
I will use it in future episodes! Thank you
hahaha, when I'm telling my friends about Ramit's book and videos re: rich life I'm like "it's kind of like Marie Kondo for spending money--if it doesn't give you joy, throw it out!"
This episode is a good reminder that there is more to life than money. Life decisons should not solely based on money IMO. Money does contribute to happiness. It's not the only factor. She doesn't seem eager to move closer to her family and he could still get a great job with a great salary where they are now and work couple of years more than planned and still retired very early. This couple is a trailblazer, they can totally do anything they put their minds into. You guys got this! Good luck Mel & Babu 😊
I feel for Mel. Imagine having to deprogram yourself from 30+ years of programming from your mother that conflicts with having a happy, healthy life with your husband and family. It is going to take a while to get comfortable with the new paradigm. This is why Ramit is so effective as he deals with the psychology of money.
She also was the bread winner, so I get her having to change that mindset. She's a giver and has a hard time receiving.
I blame you Ramit for the click-baity title lol. People are jumping to conclusions based on that and the intro clip. Definitely works for the RUclips algo, but dang the poor wife is unjustly being dragged under the bus in the comments section 😅
This has to be my favorite couple. They care deeply about each other and their future.
Really confused by all the folks attacking her. She has moved around a lot and finally likes her job. Job stress is real and can cause extreme bad health. I don’t know a single high earning friend who hasn’t suffered health consequences due to their jobs.
They will figure this out as a team and get through it!
I agree!
I think the attacks on her come from the click-bait title of this episode framing her as the bad-guy.
@@StorytellingHeadshots possibly. I think there are a lot of incels lurking also.
I really appreciate this episode. I see so much of my husband and I in Babu and Mel. And that’s before we had a kid. The high risk pregnancy, medical challenges of our baby, move across the country, and my inability to balance caring for a baby while still trying to climb the corporate ladder and stay competitive with my husband led to a complete identity crisis and burnout. Therapy helped a lot but it’s still something we’re working through. I really hope this couple can come together and align on balancing life satisfaction with wealth accumulation.
We ultimately decided to make a big life change that improved elements of our lifestyle but set us back from hitting our financial goals sooner.
Phew. All of this to say, I see you Mel! Your goals, ambitions, and fears are valid. You have great instincts. I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished already and what you will in the future. Thanks for being a kickass woman.
Why did you feel the need to stay "competitive" with your husband? Where does that come from?
I really appreciate your comment.
I see this a lot and I have encountered it too. Men can indeed create more balance, by building in a certain fixed monthly amount for a wife if she gets pregnant, prioritise his career or have to make career sacrifices and moving. It’s about the security and independence around having your own money, in case of incidentals.
This couple is so kind! I wish they were my friends!
I just gotta say that I absolutely ADORE this couple. Genuine good people. I'm rooting for them!
As an early career physician myself, I can just add to the discussion that it's taken a number of years to really come to terms with and feel comfortable with the change in salary after finishing residency. It also takes some years to land on an enjoyable work/life balance. This is a normal adjustment and I'm sure that with time they will find more ease in their situation and be able to happily live in the moment while also accomplishing their financial goals.
Did they divulge his specialty? He's obviously NOT in primary care! Maybe a neurosurgeon??
@@MNP208or anasteogoligist
Such a sweet couple. And the fear of leaving a job where you're actually happy is so relatable, regardless of the salary that is attached.
Love this!! Thank you!!
This couple seems so understanding and respectful of each other. I hope they can make it all work
I totally get her perspective, it’s hard knowing your a doctor too and worked just as hard as your husband to take care of you guys then boom. Switching roles and knowing your income isn’t 100% needed and you can just stay home. It’s a blessing and a curse you worked so hard and think dang just like that I may have to depend on a man even though I did everything RIGHT. In her mind. Coming from an immigrant background it’s ingrained to not depend on anyone and I understand her struggle but I would acknowledge even if it doesn’t work you have built such a strong healthy foundation that you will be fine no matter what. I truly enjoyed this episode and it helped me see myself in Mel a little bit also.
But his job will get her a job, too! I'm sure she will never get a better job.
I CANNOT relate to their income, but I can relate to their emotions. I 100% would react to this amount of money the same way.
Thank you thank you for sharing!
Takes a lot of courage to come and share everything. As part of a two physician couple - I can relate to a lot of this (except the 750k job lol). These guys are killing it - lots of luck for your future success! Hope that anxiety vanishes soon as you continue to work on your rich life.
Great couple! Thanks for having the courage to share your story! Love that you're working towards a shared end goal and vision you just have decide how you want to get there. Congratulations on your success and I hope you both are able to enjoy your hard work! I also hope that Mel is able to work on her anxiety around money - you're not alone ❤
This episode was so fascinating. I really enjoy the high earning couples. They put a different perspective on everything. Mel is so kind and caring and smart and conscientious. I hope she can find an outlet (like a therapist) to work through some of her health anxiety so she can more easily enjoy her rich life
It totally makes sense why this is difficult for her. Him accepting a job in a different state when she finally found a job she loves and has been primarily supporting them for the past few years makes it that much harder to let go.
It totally makes sense, but it’s important they remember they are a team first and foremost, and him making more can provide her a season to take her time in finding a job she is happy to work at when they move. She just has to be okay with giving up some control.
😮😮p
Nice couple and they've paid their dues and have earned their success. Congrats to them.
The impression I get is that Babu is too focused on retiring early. He can still make a very good living while allowing his wife to keep the job she enjoys. Why force her to move so you can reach that magic $10 million mark a bit sooner? And if she hates her new job the extra money won't have been worth it. IMO.
I really enjoyed this episode! I can understand both sides. It was also refreshing to see a couple who was operating as a team already and really JUST needed help with their emotions around money. Beautiful couple, I wish them the best.
I love this couple! Thank you so much for the transparency. I learned a lot from them. I had no idea about all those perks from those super high-paying jobs. They seem to have so much love and obvious intelligence when it comes to their finances. #couplegoals. I think you all should choose the higher-paying job near the parents.
Ramit, I really enjoyed this couple. I believe these are the people your philosophy is best suited for. I’m not in their class, nor will I ever be, but I still learned a lot. Sometimes, I worry that your ‘rich life’ philosophy might lead people further into debt. I think it applies more to high-income individuals.
Thank you for sharing. I wouldn’t be able to do this.
Very helpful!
Get it Mel and Babu! You both are lovely and I wish you all the best!
This was mindblowing. Thanks for this.
This reminds me of when i realized money couldn’t buy happiness. Coming to understand that I didn’t personally desire to be wealthy. After spending years working towards wealth and then realizing that what I really desire if peace, joy, good relationships and good health. That the goal doesn’t always have to center “the highest amount of money”. It’s jarring and forces you to “look yourself in the face” ❤❤ Money is no longer the main focus and changes your reality and how you see things.
Yeeesss. You’ve got it
I absolutely love this.
"Peace, joy, good relationships and good health." -- the true goal of a successful life!!
Great episode. All I want to say is I hope things look up for you both, and sending extra gratitude vibes 🫶🏼
Fantastic episode!
Thank you all so much for sharing this! It’s very inspirational❤❤
I love this episode. Something about the way they love each other just warms the heart.
Wow, absolutely amazing episode, thank you Ramit. It's so interesting that they know tomorrow is not guaranteed, but they wanted to put their lives off another 10 years and pray for happiness in retirement. I hope they take what they learned from you and start living their rich life.
These two are another really sweet, caring couple! One of my faves and clearly Ramit's fave 🤩
Lord.... They're perfect for each other.
It's crazy how our brains work... fear like this can destroy us and have us halt real living. Great episode! This and all couples are so courageous to be so vulnerable. What an amazing opportunity for these couples to counsel with you!
I’m just so happy for this couple. What an amazing thing to have accomplished this in life. They’ve got a bright future.
Thank you RAMIT...LOVE this discussion 🎉 and scenario.
Great job, Mel & Babou!
They are a fantastic couple and you can feel how deeply they care for each other. I think income-wise this is by far the most successful couple on the podcast and I have now doubts they will reach their goals, it's just important that they enjoy the journey to it! 👍😎
Filipino parents have done a number on their kids. Keep communicating. Good luck.
Part of me wonders if Mel is coming to realize the job she does is mentally more taxing than she predicted so the big numbers don’t feel like they can last forever because she knows she can’t mentally do that job forever
💯
Oh that's interesting too.
Great episode!
I really enjoyed this episode, especially how they view their Rich Life goals.
I wish the very best to them, but I know they'll be fine.
Once me and my wife got God in our lives and we began to tithe, we established a peace in our lives and realized we didn't need to be miserly with our money. We realized we have MORE than enough. We leave our hands open. We receive money, we tithe some, we save some and we spend/enjoy some (with no guilt or regrets). Less worry and more prayer 🙏
I actually enjoy this in general but today was even higher calibre because these were not folks on the brink of financial disaster but actually quite well off! Thanks for giving us that glimpse into your private life I am sure that you have give hope to MANY!
They are both so sweet. You can see how much they love each other and they are such a great team.
One of my favourite episodes! I love learning how higher earners think. Earning more income does mean you have to spend more. I love their plan to maintain how they are living so they can pay off
Their student loans before making big purchases. So good! Thanks for sharing
As a physician, you WILL reach 10M if you have a plan. Even a single physician family can achieve that. Now, to reach that before 45, that might be a challenge. Hitting that goal by 55, 60 for sure. What are you planning to do after 45? I do think drs should plan for a long marathon career, slow and steady. Not quick and burn out. If you retire at 45, you would have spend more time in med school and training than working as a full fledged Dr.
Drs achieve the best years from 40-60. That's when you have a decade of working under your belt and ready to be mentors to younger drs. Why would you choose to retire at the peak?
The average physician salary is $265,000. You don’t start making that until at least age 30 and most likely have hundreds of thousands in student loans before starting to build wealth.
It’s still a sure path to the upper middle class, but outside of some specialities I don’t see being a doctor as any longer guaranteeing an ultra-high net worth ($10-20m+) even with the very rare ability to avoid the lifestyle inflation and peer pressures that come with the career.
@@lucaspm98 it can still be done. I charted 100k in investments per yr for 30 yrs at 7% CAGR. 11M.
Extremely valuable insights. Thanks.
"What are you planning to do after 45?" That is a VERY important question. I think sometimes we hate the formalities and politics around working so much that we miss the opportunity to appreciate what we really enjoy about the work we do... How it makes us feel to be useful and important... How it makes us feel to be a valuable contributor to society. After all those years of training and service, it's going to be a huge challenge to find something as fulfilling as doctoring - quite literally saving lives. And it probably gets even more rewarding the longer you do it - once you have the freedom to say "no" to things you simply don't want to do.
You're right... it makes no sense to jump off the train at the first stop. Might as well enjoy the ride. 😊
Much appreciated. 💛
@@lucaspm98$300k in student loans isn't hard to pay off when you make $300k/yr. Also, googling the average salary isn't as informative as you might think - trainees and retirees skew the mean. As you can see, this young man has an offer for $500k fresh out of training. It's not the salary that keeps doctors from achieving ultra-high net worth - it's their behaviors.
Maybe they want to “retire at their peak” because they’d rather be sitting on a beach? I’m sure tutoring young doctors is great…but I’m sure sipping a drink on the North Shore is much better
They are going to be just fine. It's not the destination that is most important, it's the journey. And that is true for everyone, regardless your numbers.
I loved this episode and will most likely watch it again.
Omg I have never related to another person this hard! The way we are raised hitting goals after goals and we don't even know when to stop. I am only seeing this now on a 6 month sabbatical that this is the first time I am able to think about my future with a childs imagination. What do I want to do and have my life be! Not evaluating jobs and businesses and hobbies and relationships based on what makes sense but what do we really really inherently want, without biases and assumptions and blinders put on by our society and world around us. What an amazing episode! Loved it so much!
I feel like it’s easy to judge them just looking at their numbers and hearing them be worried about finances but the psychology behind money is insane! They understand they are privileged but still save like they will go broke next week. It’s gotten them this far but I guess I hope for 2 things and that is that they can realize they are going to be okay and that one day I could have their income because I am a GREAT SPENDER 😂😂😂
Another banger Ramit!
This conversation to me is enough enough in terms of income. Like if you can live a very good life financially where you are at does it make sense to move to get an extremely well paying job. Is it worth it if you are already living a well off life. Her points are very valid if she found a job where’s she’s happy and satisfied.
Amazing - love this couple! We can only dream to be as set-up in life as these rockstars - but with each conversation Ramit has with couples, I have learned so much! Enjoy your VERY RICH LIFE and thanks for sharing!
Awesome, thank you
I’m super impressed with the way Ramit is helping this couple through. I didn’t even think about the maximizing within the structured environment vs. the unstructured question.
I LOVED this episode, thanks to all! They are such a touching couple, bless them.
But, I can't help wondering: which job did he end up taking??? Feels like a cliffhanger 😀
Mel I feel you girl 💕
The mindset that got them to where they are successfully is the same mindset that is keeping them on edge and anxious even after they have reached their goal. When you are in a competitive environment for so many years, knowing that a few points in an exam can make or break you , your whole world ends up being about the future number (which seems like where mel is stuck).
I also know that if they let up and let loose for a bit, they probably feel like they loose the momentum and trajectory they are on. It's a hard balance , to let loose just enough (since you are there and are successful) but to also not let loose so much that you loose the momentum cause yes, in their careers they have made it and they should reward themselves, that milestone is reached , but life its self still has a long ways to run so you don't want to loose that trajectory either.
Its a hard, they just need to re-learn how to move forward in this new phase of their life post training and becoming full time doctors and know what to worry and not worry about. Somethings you can control , others you can't.
Such a hard balance!
Excellent video !!!
Thank you, Mel and Babu, for sharing your story. I loved seeing a successful couple and value learning about your unique situation. It brought up excellent points that I would love to reflect on with my partner and that I am sure many successful couples are going through. Don't let the negative comments phase you; It is obviously just jealousy, and people can't understand what it is like functioning at this high level. I can tell you guys really love each other
I agree
love this!
Ramit I can’t believe you’re the least spontaneous one, I thought your extrovert energy would be unmatched!
Yes, yes! The Firm is exactly what I thought of! Mitch got lots of expensive perks, but he didn't realize it was a deal with the devil!
Bro that’s not at all what he said, he just said accept the opportunity while stop making sound financial decisions.
These two are top notch, so loving and equally respectful to each other. Loved this episode.❤
Numbers and jobs aside, I’m 8 mins away from in laws and less than 20mins away from my own parents, 10 mins from my husband’s grand parents, 20 mins from my sister’s family and 5 uncles and aunts families within half an hour and that’s not counting cousins and distant relatives. I hope they think it through too before committing to that life style, it’s a blessing especially for my 3 years old but it’s very tiring. We are spending every weekend with families except for when we are sick 😅
As an overachiever with a HYW and who was also recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis I really appreciated this episode and discussion.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching
Same with the MS. This episode was also appreciated because they're kind of a snapshot of where I'll likely be with my partner in 15 years. What is HYW though?
Gosh my brain can’t even comprehend how much money they’ll be bringing in in a month!
During the pandemic, I switched to travel nursing bringing home 15k a month. My husband and I didn’t know what to do with so much money. We saved up and kept living off of 4K a month. At the end of all this we were able to pay off our SUV, renovate our kitchen, and could’ve paid off our mortgage. We were so fortunate to be able to do all that. But omg I can’t even begin to comprehend even having the income to be able to put away 10mil for retirement! That’s awesome!!! Good for them!! I need to be making some more moves. I completely understand Mel’s feelings on money not feeling like it’s enough. I used to feel 20k and I’ll feel better. We have way more now and it still feels like not enough. I cried with Mel 😢
I know Mel! I’m praying they get to seize the joy and rich life they can have today; they are in an amazing trajectory and should be proud!
Also! Kasama is the bomb!
This is a very difficult episode to watch for a fellow person who has crazy high anxiety about health 😅 but I enjoy hearing Mel and Babu's story
I love this episode. They are by far the most loving and supportive couple that have ever come on this show!
It looks like she does not want to be close to his family. Living 5 minutes from your in-laws can be real scary
❓
She doesn’t want to live close to HER family.
@@LIVEINPEACE2023she’s just being polite. She said she told her mother in law how much Babu could make in a job offer as a plan to ease her into accepting them not living close to home. In Asian culture, married women often are required to live with their In laws, so it’s very hard and consider to be very rude for her to say I don’t want to live close to my in laws.
Killer income. Big blessing! Now on to living and enjoying life, having kids and raising a family!
I really feel for Mel. I think she is genuinely terrified. I think it's a generational trauma, but there was a kind of healing that happened here. Lovely couple and such a touching episode, esp, taking their parents in first class.
They make more than I have in my 401k but I appreciate their lifestyle choices. I get a lot of grief from *some* friends for my frugal ways.
He says the most precious things are his time and his health (14.18) so why work themselves into the ground now and not spend any of their hard earned money? They are saving all this money for a point in the future which is not guaranteed (their sentiment) and they may not have the health to enjoy it (also picking up on some fears in their conversation) There seems to be a worried tone to their conversation where this fear exists. Maybe this comes with high pressure jobs.
I would probably advise them to try to relax a lot more, enjoy more of their income in the present. This might help them feel more content overall without the pressure of a 12-year deadline when all this work stops.
Yes - tomorrow is not guaranteed. Today is a gift - that’s why they call it the present. ❤ Sending best wishes
I love Babu and Mel. They are a great couple. I hope Mel find the reason that is making her feel financially insecure and she can start enjoying the life that they seem to deserve for their hard work. Thank you for your honesty. I’m rooting for you Mel.
They seem like such a sweet couple. I didn’t realize there was a specialty you can make THAT much immediately after fellowship/residency. I know they must’ve worked so so hard to get here but clearly the hard work will pay off.
I think my brain is similar to these two in terms of scarcity and risk aversion. One thing which helped me was to view excessive saving as itself a risk because it may be that now is a more stable time period than the future. So in my plan I ramp up guilt free spending gradually vs. it being a cliff like in most plans.
Amasing rich! Merci! J'apprend enorment avec vous!
They are SO in tune with one another.
Their ability to invest 66% of net is extremely inspiring. I love how Ramit laughed when he said that. 😂 I love love love this ❤❤❤
One thing not addressed in this video is that at least 40% of physicians leave their first attending job within 2 years. Not sure if Babu and Mel considered that in the context of relocation, having to pay back sign on bonuses, etc.
Their issues seem more based on how they were raised but they have more than most people and are too hard on themselves. It's amazing how their perceptions are not consistent with where they are in reality. They young and so worried. They need to start living their lives without worrying about it. They will get there.
Live in the present , not the past or the future ,love money and be grateful
This was a fantastic episode! Ramit, when you went into this field, did you know you were going to become a marriage counselor, too?
As a regular person that has "a lot" in savings and investments, I can assure that most people will not understand how even with a lot of money and potential growth----Money will never be enough and never will 100% solve anxieties in life of a person.
Well said!