You explaining network vs community and giving the church as an example really resonated with me. I couldn’t quite figure out why the church reminded me of just another institution and now I know why! I taught Sunday School for over ten years and just seeing the separation between the kids and the parents reminded me so much of being in the school system. The kids needed the childcare so the parents can learn the important stuff instead of having the kids participate with the adults like as in a healthy family. A lot of parents struggle to even control their children. I think it’s because their kids are being raised by the school instead of the parents.
I get asked by well meaning people why my husband and I don’t join a small group with our church. men with other husbands and women with other wives and my response is always the same. Then I wont be learning together with my family and my husband is away bonding with other people when we could be together. It takes away from being together family time.
Somewhat along those lines is the moving away from family. We move away and into an isolated environment. I think we lose something special when aunts and cousins and grandchildren move away.
Yes. We don't live near family because of no jobs for us there. But I grew up in a small intimate community. It was amazing. Always looking to find a slice of that for our kids.
@@SaraMaysDC yes, my husband grew up with all his family around it and sounds like it was amazing. Once the matriarch passed away everyone went their own way. Some families are toxic so it’s not always bad. I guess I wish my sisters lived closer because the cousins could be close. 🤷🏻♀️ Thankful for church family!
I did this , moved away and in some ways it was good, but for the most part, I agree with you....something special was lost in the family living all across the country.
Some families can’t prevent this but this is something I have mentioned this to my husband more than once. My husband and I grew up very differently. I grew up with family all around, he on the other hand did not. Our kids have had a very different life than ours as due to work we moved every few years. But I am seeing just how bad public/ privileged DOD schools are no longer a safe place for our children it is now a political pool pushing all this nasty of the world on our children
I started homeschooling in 2017. My little one went to K, skipped 1st grade, went to second grade. She brought home some ridiculous math and I instantly felt a wedge between us as I was someone not accustomed to "common core" math. Not that it was hard to figure out. I refused to let my child do that roundabout way of doing math and started looking into the common core standards. I had commented a time or two to the teacher (who you're pretty much only allowed to see twice a year) about a couple of things I thoroughly disapproved in their particular method and content. I finally asked to see the computer tests my child was taking. She said not even the teachers are allowed to see the test. Sent me to the vice principal who was shocked that I wanted to see it. She sent me to some other school official who said I couldn't see the test because it was on the computer. I said "well, then print it out." She just looked confused and said it was proprietary and no one was allowed to see it. I decided to home school after that. I have no support, no home school group, and no home school co-op or church. There's no home school conventions to go to around here and no independent home school activity groups. I very rarely come across other home schooled kids. It's literally just us. We love it. We don't do any school on the computer. I looked into the different types of homeschooling styles and we just use the traditional/classical method. The old Roman Liberal Arts style. My books are Christian based and NON-COMMON CORE aligned. You have to be VERY diligent when finding non common core books. It can be difficult. The more years that go by, the harder it gets. Charlotte Iserbyte, John Taylor Gatto, and Beverly Eakman are some of the best authors for exposing what's behind our atrocious schools. Most people think, "My kid's school is still good," especially if it's a small school. It's not. They are all the same.
I was just commiserating with a fellow former teacher about the difficulties of teaching in public school these days, esp the lack of support from parents - the way parents will expect the teacher to single-handedly fix any problems with the kid, and also blame any of the kid’s problems on the teacher. The problem with that is, the teacher has very little influence in a child’s life: only 1 year, while splitting their attention between 20 kids total. As we were talking, I realized, “yeah but the parents also have very little influence in their kids’ lives - only a couple hours at night and maybe a few more on the weekends!” So the parent has given away the ability to influence their child but now nobody can really impact them! Yes the teacher is around the child more hours but with very shallow relationship and split between so many other little ones too!
Schools shut out parents who ask questions or try to participate. That's been the experience of our family and many parents I know. Homeschool is the best option.
@@abbe1abbe156I totally agree with you. Our schools still use covid restrictions for their benefit, not allowing parents in the schools, no volunteering unless it’s a field trip, they are in a way hiding behind locked doors.
So when I was a teacher, 10+ year ago pre pandemic, all parents had to sign in at the office. No one could just walk in and observe. Or even volunteers. I hated this and secretly welcomed them into my classroom.
Thank you for this video! I resonate with many points here. We're in year 4 as a homeschoolers and with each year I find myself wanting to strip the fluff of curriculum, activities, this, that and ALL the things we're told our children need to know or should be involved in as homeschoolers. I found myself in the rat race adding more subjects, activities, seeking "better" co-ops and stressing us out. We were exhausted! I still see many families within our community doing all the things...and I'm finally okay knowing that's just not us. These days, I seek a simpler way of schooling. I allow space for them to seek other interests (not part of any standards). There's more time spent laughing, talking and being together. They're learning, growing and truly being themselves. That's my heart's desire 😊! I'm enjoying these, THANK YOU!
My siblings and I grew up in the countryside. Our parents encouraged us to go out into the world and have a big career. So we did. As a result, we now all live in different parts of the world. My parents are old and home alone. None of us has community.
100% right on. We did not homeschool from the start. We were forced into it 4 years ago. My oldest was in 8th grade, my middle was in 6th, and the youngest was in 3rd. The lack of relationship was obvious and was one of the primary things I was determined to rectify. It's been the driving force behind my curriculum choices. The family unit is my #1 priority. The lack now is in curriculum. There isn't much out there that is geared toward family style learning beyond the middle school level. I believe that the family bond is just as crucial in those later as it is early on. I don't want my kids in their separate corners all day. If I can't adapt a curriculum up or down, to use for all of them, I don't use it. The only things that are separate in our homeschool is math and LA. Everything else is family style.
Thank you for this. My oldest will be "middle school" next year and I think I have fallen into that way of thinking while starting to plan for our school year next year.
I remember traditional school - how much "in love" kindergartners were with their teacher, then how sad they were to "leave" them at the end of the year. Then in first grade, they were "in love again" but a little less than Kindergarten , and sad again at the end of the year. Each year they were less "in love" with their teacher. By middle school, they had learned to keep teachers at an arm's length, and not get too attached. This is the *perfect* practice for divorce and broken families. In homeschool, we don't have to break that relationship every year.
Online learning felt safe when we started homeschooling. After the fear we branched out and are so relaxed and have no anxiety. My child thanks me for doing homeschooling. It’s been a wonderful journey of healing from public school.
My husband and I were just talking about this recently how we wish that we could turn to our church for assistance and for help but they have conditions and qualifications and if they help us, we must sign a contract to obey certain things and it’s become so very ‘business like’. I don’t feel like we have anybody to talk to, and no help, and no one to talk to, no way to get over the struggles that were dealing with as a family. we deal with them all alone with nobody around to help us. it is so true that children are seeking community but they’re only finding network and there’s so desperate for that network, hoping that it will fulfill that seeking of community within them and I know I’m a victim of it too. This video was very well done, and it answered so many things that I feel, but can’t seem to put into words as you have. Thank you so much for sharing
I read the Dumbing Us Down book after seeing your other video. It changed the way I want to approach some things in our homeschool. That is super rare as a homeschool graduate who has some pretty definite ideas about how I want to do homeschooling. I'm planning to do a video in a few weeks on some of the ways it affected my thinking. Thank you for sharing!
It is an excellent book! I agree with the perspective of a relationship first over the other "r's" of reading, 'riting, and 'rithemetic. I love how you speak to the accountability portion of being in a community - conviction is not the same as condemnation. We have a phrase in our house, it doesn't matter who you are, but rather WHOSE you are. Our identity in Christ is paramount. Beautiful illustration of humility and the importance of relationships and community.
We’ve been at our church for 15 years. It used to be a true community. Lately it feels like we are too busy with big events to truly care for one another. We’re trying to build back the community at church and in our wider homeschool circle.
New to your channel! I'm researching homeschooling for next year for some of these exact reasons! I'm very nervous to pull my kids from public school but this validated some of my concerns. Thank you!
My favorite part of the entire video is how you take scripture and connect it directly to homeschooling our children, I will be rewatching to write down each verse, it was beautiful, thank you for taking the time to share it with us.
Thank you so much for sharing! I have witnessed the shift from a community mindset to a networking mindset in our co-ops and churches, too. We took a long time to find our current co-op because it is all about community, and we craved it! It has encouraged us to be more community minded in our neighborhood and to open our family home to our community much more often.
Yes!!! Absolutely 100% So a lot of what you are hitting on reminds me of what Voddie Baucham talk about. The sacrifice of the family, both in the school and the church. Id love to hear more on this ❤
Great video!! I've always known, inately, that community is important. Our church is small and since 2020, the kid population has gotten even smaller. So, I've been struggling with this and just asked my husband last night, "Where is our community and where should we be investing in?" Do we need to find a bigger church community fir our kids' sake? We've been with our church body for 20+ years, so there's strong bonds. But, my 14 is asking to go to public H.S. next year because she needs more people and less of me (we're a lot alike). Then I'll be in a similar situation with my almost 12 y.o. son. Ugh, so hard to know what to do!
Man, I wish I could sit and talk with you about this for a long time! But I will pull two of the major thoughts I had while listening to you: 1) Working in hospitals for the last 17 years, I have seen the spouse that stays through thick and thin when the other gets terminally ill or horrible injured or paralyzed, but many that have left or slowly faded away. It influenced my own relationship. My now husband, I actually said no to his first proposal, because I knew I didn’t love him enough yet to be the one who stayed through a spinal cord injury or terminal diagnosis. 2) Military kids and families have the network relationships on another level! We moved every 2-3 years, so if anything wasn’t working, we just ignored it long enough and then we moved and never had to work on making things last long term!
Yes my ex, he had the worst family I didn’t even know that existed. Everything was about money, and he came from extreme wealth. He hated money after that because he was brought up that humans are transactional. now he’s basically homeless & on drugs. No wonder. Brought up in a mansion in Montesito to the streets. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
This video is GOLD, the story about your father, what a real loving selfless man. And I have always prayed for patience before ever stepping into homeschool and wow did I notice God's working patience into our home through every little crack. Your goals and dreams will be achieved Leilani, because you have God guiding your path. I love your content and this Network vs Community definition hurts to hear, your words have spoken to my spirit with my own questions about taking in family and feeling at peace with the decision. This video and your words have clearly confirmed that my life as a Christian is not a network it's a community.
I read the book 3/4 so far. It was very eye-opening. What I found very interesting was how our ancestors fought against public school and that even some towns had their children marched away from them by the army. I think more about the history of how public school was founded.
What book is this? The public school system was actually advocated by the founding fathers, including both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. And when you say ancestors, who exactly are you referring to?
I have a 12 yr old who is begging to go to public school because she wants to make friends there. Middle school, especially the one we are zoned for (and there is not the money in the budget for private school) is a terrible, place. Plus, she has ASD. She is intelligent, but she has a hard time coping with situations and based on what I have seen in the past, it is more likely she will sink than swim. Can you do a video on how to handle middle school years with grace and love so that they come out on the otherside okay?
My 7 yr old asked me if she would go to a regular school. I told her she wouldn't because they won't teach her about God there. She changed her perception of regular school. My 15 yr old seems to like homeschool. She only has a couple of close friends, but we are close with my husband's family and my bro and his family. We have a community here - friends and family. I think that helps. I have pointed out scripture that parents are to bring up their children, not the world. The hang up we have is that the cost of living is so high...
I could've written this comment! We are in the same situation. I'm a loss at how to navigate these years, especially with my daughter being on the spectrum.
I was actually saved at a public school. A friend of mine lead me to Jesus there. God can work through anyone or anything. Im glad I went to a public school because if I didnt I would never have met the friend that lead me to Christ.
Yes family and church should be a supportive community. Our church has smaller life groups that meet for prayer and bible study to establish accountability and community. I do feel the loneliness in the world. I've read that book and others. Another interesting book is called Slouching towards Gamorah by Robert Borke. I'm not sure if he is a believer but he traces the problems all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Sadly I think a dumb society is encouraged because its easier to control.
I was raised in the church, ran from the church and God, lived some craziness and returned to Christ in my 30s. I had our first daughter outside of Christ and her suffering is proof of it. She and I were actually baptized together when she was 11 and I was 33. But she knew me in some of my worst points and then throughout my personal redemption. I say all that just to say to you, pray with and for your daughter always. Because I didn’t understand community and am only now seeing the significance and coming to so much mind blowing realizations in the failures of myself, the church in south Florida (as I’m sure worldwide) and our entire education system as far as community goes. I could rant on this topic for days. Thank you for hitting on this. I was nodding along and saying “preach!” through the whole thing.
From the rooftops... YES!!!!! I love the book Dumbing Us Down, and I could not help but see how the public school model has shaped our churches. Yes, yes, yes! Having people in our congregation into our homes, sharing meals together at home is a huge way to strengthen that community. And isn't that part of why our families aren't the community they should be? When you see the statistics on how common it is for families to NOT eat together, so much suffers. There's obviously so much more, but it's a key step.
Children's therapy can also destroy families. To get agreeable people to come back for $ the therapists often blame the family to gratify the client even though it causes more harm than good. Now that so many young people are in therapy I guarantee it also has something to do with the breakdown of the nuclear family in America.
Mainstream American churches are more likely to be "networks" however house churches are growing and those are extended family ❤ We have a lovely house church family
I remember the names of all the people i went to school with in Grade 3. 😂😂😂 there were only 8 of us, four girls, four boys. I lived in a SMALL farming community. However, i do not still have contact with them.
The problem is not public schools. The problem is taking God and prayer OUT of our schools and society. When my mother was growing up they had prayer in schools. Ever since they took God out you've seen the rapid decline in our schools.
Public school ABSOLUTELY puts a wedge between parents and their children. It's so subtle and evil. I can't stand public school. I'm starting to notice that I can't stand people who CAN stand public school. The division is multi-layered.
I get this!! My kids currently in public school but they and I want to homeschool next year, I don’t like the the teachers or how the other parents just don’t stand up for their children how they should and how I have been due to a bunch of unprofessional behaviors from the school staff!
Awsome content always enjoy the honesty... public school has effected my family's relationship I'm not the smartest dad, but I know common sense! I feel I only spend 3hrs a day and that is night with my children because as soon as they come home it's eat than sleep and when they wake we only have that 3hrs to bond then it's back to sleep and get up get on the bus go to school...ect. thank you for the content
That's what I'm fighting with in myself right now It goes further back in history than just US Public school system do an extensive roman history and The origins if the Vatican \Catholic church look at the Nazis regime as a recarnation of the Roman Empire then keep a look out for the next and final recantation of the Roman empire
If you home-schooling, you never get rid of your kids! No alone time. And the point of school is to prepare your kid for the world. No one can come between family if the kid doesn't want it. I couldn't wait to get away from my parents because I hated being told what to do. My kids, on the other hand, love being with me even over their friends. It is not normal to isolate your child from the outside world. They will have no friends and will never learn heartbreak or rejection which is what they will 100% experience in the employment realm. I agree that the school system is shit, but there are different types of schools. Like Christian schools, which have better values. And as for family, that is the point. Kids must learn to let their parents go. They can't be dependent on them forever. Whether my kids want me when they're older or not is their choice, no one can tell them to be around me or not. Sorry, I need my free time, no way I'm going to traumatise myself again learning all that school curriculum and then trying to teach it to my kids. Nightmare! That's what daycare and school is there for. Let them suffer and do the hard work. I just don't get people who want so much control over everything to do with their child. Let them be free. Let them go and be social. How boring to be stuck at home with the same faces everyday. I can think of nothing worse.
Some of us are single parents and unfortunately cant homeschool our own kids because we have to work. My kids attend public school and they are fine. Is the public school perfect? No its not, but some of us dont have other options. I just think its wrong to make others that arent as privileged made to feel lesser than or condemned because of situations that are not our fault.
Nowhere, am I trying to make you feel guilty for sending your child to public school because you are a single parent. I think this may be something that you yourself are struggling with personally, maybe because you feel guilty that others believe homeschool is best for them and you can’t do it because of your situation? As humans we tend to put a lot of guilt on ourselves, because we want to do everything perfectly. Most importantly, I will add that God is sovereign and it doesn’t matter what situation you’re in, God knows everything and He will help you with everything. Just because your situation isn’t ideal for you doesn’t mean he can’t work through you in your life and in your child’s life. Remember in your weakness, He is made strong. Trust in that.
@@LivingWithEve actually I don't feel guilty about not homeschooling. I personally don't think homeschooling is for everyone. If you or anyone else wants to do that, then great. I have no problem with anyone doing what they feel is best for their family. But to make a broad generalization that public school destroys everyone's family is making assumptions that aren't true. My kids attend a public school and my kids are extremely well behaved, make good grades, and are lights to other kids around them. In an ideal world everyone would homeschool because our society would be functioning correctly with the man working and the mother staying home with the children. But unfortunately, we live in a fallen society where not everyone is privileged to do that. My family is not dysfunctional or being destroyed because my kids go to a public school. I teach my kids morals. They know right from wrong. They don't hang out with kids who are bad influences. Infact, I've been able to teach them so much about getting along with others who are different than them. They know how to socialize with all types of kids. And when they get out into the real world one day and get real jobs, they will already have the experience they need to thrive in an environment that's not always perfect. I am in no way saying public schools are perfect. Of course there is a lot wrong with public education that's needs improvement. But the most important thing is teaching your children at home right from wrong and how to deal with certain situations and conflicts when they arise. I honestly don't regret it.
My 12 year old is a social butterfly and wants to go back to school but she doesn’t like school lol My older one 15 does online school with LUOA and let’s just say I’m not happy with that platform. It’s more like college courses than HS. I’m trying to get a job at a Christian school I want them to go to. My older one is really excited to not be in the house only doing school My younger one struggles with math and there aren’t any leveled math classes. It’s pre-algebra then Algebra honors. Latin honors. I’m concerned to say the least. If I get a position that’s good because I get a discount and we are all with other people but I guess I’m concerned losing our closeness. I’m concerned about my younger daughter’s ability to do some classes. Then if I don’t get a job there neither of them can go because it’s expensive. Idk. I feel really torn.
Oh that is so hard and I’m so sorry. You just have to let the Lord lead you in what to do, but I know that still doesn’t make it any easier. We’ll be praying for you. Keep us updated.
Capitalism. Marx spoke of the alienation. Families cannot survive. You have to move for jobs. Need two jobs to survive. Layoffs exhaust savings. Stress
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You explaining network vs community and giving the church as an example really resonated with me. I couldn’t quite figure out why the church reminded me of just another institution and now I know why! I taught Sunday School for over ten years and just seeing the separation between the kids and the parents reminded me so much of being in the school system. The kids needed the childcare so the parents can learn the important stuff instead of having the kids participate with the adults like as in a healthy family. A lot of parents struggle to even control their children. I think it’s because their kids are being raised by the school instead of the parents.
I get asked by well meaning people why my husband and I don’t join a small group with our church. men with other husbands and women with other wives and my response is always the same. Then I wont be learning together with my family and my husband is away bonding with other people when we could be together. It takes away from being together family time.
Somewhat along those lines is the moving away from family. We move away and into an isolated environment. I think we lose something special when aunts and cousins and grandchildren move away.
Yes. We don't live near family because of no jobs for us there. But I grew up in a small intimate community. It was amazing. Always looking to find a slice of that for our kids.
@@SaraMaysDC yes, my husband grew up with all his family around it and sounds like it was amazing. Once the matriarch passed away everyone went their own way. Some families are toxic so it’s not always bad. I guess I wish my sisters lived closer because the cousins could be close. 🤷🏻♀️ Thankful for church family!
I did this , moved away and in some ways it was good, but for the most part, I agree with you....something special was lost in the family living all across the country.
Some families can’t prevent this but this is something I have mentioned this to my husband more than once. My husband and I grew up very differently. I grew up with family all around, he on the other hand did not. Our kids have had a very different life than ours as due to work we moved every few years. But I am seeing just how bad public/ privileged DOD schools are no longer a safe place for our children it is now a political pool pushing all this nasty of the world on our children
I started homeschooling in 2017. My little one went to K, skipped 1st grade, went to second grade. She brought home some ridiculous math and I instantly felt a wedge between us as I was someone not accustomed to "common core" math. Not that it was hard to figure out. I refused to let my child do that roundabout way of doing math and started looking into the common core standards. I had commented a time or two to the teacher (who you're pretty much only allowed to see twice a year) about a couple of things I thoroughly disapproved in their particular method and content. I finally asked to see the computer tests my child was taking. She said not even the teachers are allowed to see the test. Sent me to the vice principal who was shocked that I wanted to see it. She sent me to some other school official who said I couldn't see the test because it was on the computer. I said "well, then print it out." She just looked confused and said it was proprietary and no one was allowed to see it. I decided to home school after that. I have no support, no home school group, and no home school co-op or church. There's no home school conventions to go to around here and no independent home school activity groups. I very rarely come across other home schooled kids. It's literally just us. We love it. We don't do any school on the computer. I looked into the different types of homeschooling styles and we just use the traditional/classical method. The old Roman Liberal Arts style. My books are Christian based and NON-COMMON CORE aligned. You have to be VERY diligent when finding non common core books. It can be difficult. The more years that go by, the harder it gets. Charlotte Iserbyte, John Taylor Gatto, and Beverly Eakman are some of the best authors for exposing what's behind our atrocious schools. Most people think, "My kid's school is still good," especially if it's a small school. It's not. They are all the same.
Good for you
@playdohsrepublic3562 Which homeschool publishers have you found that are aligned with common core?
Very illegal for them to refuse data on the curriculum FYI
I was just commiserating with a fellow former teacher about the difficulties of teaching in public school these days, esp the lack of support from parents - the way parents will expect the teacher to single-handedly fix any problems with the kid, and also blame any of the kid’s problems on the teacher. The problem with that is, the teacher has very little influence in a child’s life: only 1 year, while splitting their attention between 20 kids total. As we were talking, I realized, “yeah but the parents also have very little influence in their kids’ lives - only a couple hours at night and maybe a few more on the weekends!” So the parent has given away the ability to influence their child but now nobody can really impact them! Yes the teacher is around the child more hours but with very shallow relationship and split between so many other little ones too!
Schools shut out parents who ask questions or try to participate. That's been the experience of our family and many parents I know. Homeschool is the best option.
@@abbe1abbe156I totally agree with you. Our schools still use covid restrictions for their benefit, not allowing parents in the schools, no volunteering unless it’s a field trip, they are in a way hiding behind locked doors.
So when I was a teacher, 10+ year ago pre pandemic, all parents had to sign in at the office. No one could just walk in and observe. Or even volunteers. I hated this and secretly welcomed them into my classroom.
Thank you for this video! I resonate with many points here. We're in year 4 as a homeschoolers and with each year I find myself wanting to strip the fluff of curriculum, activities, this, that and ALL the things we're told our children need to know or should be involved in as homeschoolers. I found myself in the rat race adding more subjects, activities, seeking "better" co-ops and stressing us out. We were exhausted! I still see many families within our community doing all the things...and I'm finally okay knowing that's just not us. These days, I seek a simpler way of schooling. I allow space for them to seek other interests (not part of any standards). There's more time spent laughing, talking and being together. They're learning, growing and truly being themselves. That's my heart's desire 😊! I'm enjoying these, THANK YOU!
Thanks for the encouragement!
My siblings and I grew up in the countryside. Our parents encouraged us to go out into the world and have a big career. So we did.
As a result, we now all live in different parts of the world. My parents are old and home alone. None of us has community.
100% right on. We did not homeschool from the start. We were forced into it 4 years ago. My oldest was in 8th grade, my middle was in 6th, and the youngest was in 3rd. The lack of relationship was obvious and was one of the primary things I was determined to rectify. It's been the driving force behind my curriculum choices. The family unit is my #1 priority. The lack now is in curriculum. There isn't much out there that is geared toward family style learning beyond the middle school level. I believe that the family bond is just as crucial in those later as it is early on. I don't want my kids in their separate corners all day. If I can't adapt a curriculum up or down, to use for all of them, I don't use it. The only things that are separate in our homeschool is math and LA. Everything else is family style.
Awesome, I’m looking for the same thing and realizing I might have to wing it lol. Good on you!
Thank you for this. My oldest will be "middle school" next year and I think I have fallen into that way of thinking while starting to plan for our school year next year.
I remember traditional school - how much "in love" kindergartners were with their teacher, then how sad they were to "leave" them at the end of the year. Then in first grade, they were "in love again" but a little less than Kindergarten , and sad again at the end of the year. Each year they were less "in love" with their teacher. By middle school, they had learned to keep teachers at an arm's length, and not get too attached. This is the *perfect* practice for divorce and broken families. In homeschool, we don't have to break that relationship every year.
Online learning felt safe when we started homeschooling. After the fear we branched out and are so relaxed and have no anxiety. My child thanks me for doing homeschooling. It’s been a wonderful journey of healing from public school.
My husband and I were just talking about this recently how we wish that we could turn to our church for assistance and for help but they have conditions and qualifications and if they help us, we must sign a contract to obey certain things and it’s become so very ‘business like’. I don’t feel like we have anybody to talk to, and no help, and no one to talk to, no way to get over the struggles that were dealing with as a family. we deal with them all alone with nobody around to help us. it is so true that children are seeking community but they’re only finding network and there’s so desperate for that network, hoping that it will fulfill that seeking of community within them and I know I’m a victim of it too. This video was very well done, and it answered so many things that I feel, but can’t seem to put into words as you have.
Thank you so much for sharing
Thanks for the encouragement. That’s crazy! I can’t believe they make you sign a contract if they’re willing to help you. I’ve never heard of that.
I read the Dumbing Us Down book after seeing your other video. It changed the way I want to approach some things in our homeschool. That is super rare as a homeschool graduate who has some pretty definite ideas about how I want to do homeschooling. I'm planning to do a video in a few weeks on some of the ways it affected my thinking. Thank you for sharing!
Ive been watching homeschool videos for years and this is the channel I needed to find! Loved hearing your thoughts
I could not agree with you more!!!!!!! ❤ I think we need to have a talk with our pastors on this subject.
It is an excellent book! I agree with the perspective of a relationship first over the other "r's" of reading, 'riting, and 'rithemetic. I love how you speak to the accountability portion of being in a community - conviction is not the same as condemnation. We have a phrase in our house, it doesn't matter who you are, but rather WHOSE you are. Our identity in Christ is paramount. Beautiful illustration of humility and the importance of relationships and community.
Private schools are just the same as public. Network...rarely community
We’ve been at our church for 15 years. It used to be a true community. Lately it feels like we are too busy with big events to truly care for one another.
We’re trying to build back the community at church and in our wider homeschool circle.
I understand… 🙏🙏🙏
New to your channel! I'm researching homeschooling for next year for some of these exact reasons! I'm very nervous to pull my kids from public school but this validated some of my concerns. Thank you!
This definitely resonated with me. Church and family operating as a community more than a needs to be more of a focus.
My favorite part of the entire video is how you take scripture and connect it directly to homeschooling our children, I will be rewatching to write down each verse, it was beautiful, thank you for taking the time to share it with us.
Thank you so much for sharing! I have witnessed the shift from a community mindset to a networking mindset in our co-ops and churches, too. We took a long time to find our current co-op because it is all about community, and we craved it! It has encouraged us to be more community minded in our neighborhood and to open our family home to our community much more often.
Yes!!! Absolutely 100%
So a lot of what you are hitting on reminds me of what Voddie Baucham talk about. The sacrifice of the family, both in the school and the church.
Id love to hear more on this ❤
Oooh… I’m thinking like Voddie now. That’s awesome! He’s one of my favorites!!!
The church system mimics public school for sure.
I definitely agree ! church should be community/ family
Great video!! I've always known, inately, that community is important. Our church is small and since 2020, the kid population has gotten even smaller. So, I've been struggling with this and just asked my husband last night, "Where is our community and where should we be investing in?" Do we need to find a bigger church community fir our kids' sake? We've been with our church body for 20+ years, so there's strong bonds. But, my 14 is asking to go to public H.S. next year because she needs more people and less of me (we're a lot alike). Then I'll be in a similar situation with my almost 12 y.o. son. Ugh, so hard to know what to do!
Man, I wish I could sit and talk with you about this for a long time! But I will pull two of the major thoughts I had while listening to you:
1) Working in hospitals for the last 17 years, I have seen the spouse that stays through thick and thin when the other gets terminally ill or horrible injured or paralyzed, but many that have left or slowly faded away. It influenced my own relationship. My now husband, I actually said no to his first proposal, because I knew I didn’t love him enough yet to be the one who stayed through a spinal cord injury or terminal diagnosis.
2) Military kids and families have the network relationships on another level! We moved every 2-3 years, so if anything wasn’t working, we just ignored it long enough and then we moved and never had to work on making things last long term!
Yes my ex, he had the worst family I didn’t even know that existed. Everything was about money, and he came from extreme wealth. He hated money after that because he was brought up that humans are transactional. now he’s basically homeless & on drugs. No wonder. Brought up in a mansion in Montesito to the streets. It was the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
This video is GOLD, the story about your father, what a real loving selfless man. And I have always prayed for patience before ever stepping into homeschool and wow did I notice God's working patience into our home through every little crack. Your goals and dreams will be achieved Leilani, because you have God guiding your path. I love your content and this Network vs Community definition hurts to hear, your words have spoken to my spirit with my own questions about taking in family and feeling at peace with the decision. This video and your words have clearly confirmed that my life as a Christian is not a network it's a community.
Thank you. ❤️
The networking mindset was my public school experience 100%. That makes so much sense. I'm going to check out that book. Thank you!
Beverly Eakman and Charlotte Iserbyte are also great authors who wrote about dumbing down of public schools.
Just looked them up. They are fairly unheard of. I might check out a book or two. Thanks!
I read the book 3/4 so far. It was very eye-opening. What I found very interesting was how our ancestors fought against public school and that even some towns had their children marched away from them by the army. I think more about the history of how public school was founded.
What book is this? The public school system was actually advocated by the founding fathers, including both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. And when you say ancestors, who exactly are you referring to?
I have a 12 yr old who is begging to go to public school because she wants to make friends there. Middle school, especially the one we are zoned for (and there is not the money in the budget for private school) is a terrible, place. Plus, she has ASD. She is intelligent, but she has a hard time coping with situations and based on what I have seen in the past, it is more likely she will sink than swim. Can you do a video on how to handle middle school years with grace and love so that they come out on the otherside okay?
Yes plz I have a 12 year old too!
My 7 yr old asked me if she would go to a regular school. I told her she wouldn't because they won't teach her about God there. She changed her perception of regular school.
My 15 yr old seems to like homeschool. She only has a couple of close friends, but we are close with my husband's family and my bro and his family. We have a community here - friends and family. I think that helps.
I have pointed out scripture that parents are to bring up their children, not the world.
The hang up we have is that the cost of living is so high...
I could've written this comment! We are in the same situation. I'm a loss at how to navigate these years, especially with my daughter being on the spectrum.
Great News! I have one! ruclips.net/video/AXNLYr-pgGo/видео.htmlsi=gMgySgW37l_zqxw6
I was actually saved at a public school. A friend of mine lead me to Jesus there. God can work through anyone or anything. Im glad I went to a public school because if I didnt I would never have met the friend that lead me to Christ.
Yes family and church should be a supportive community. Our church has smaller life groups that meet for prayer and bible study to establish accountability and community. I do feel the loneliness in the world. I've read that book and others. Another interesting book is called Slouching towards Gamorah by Robert Borke. I'm not sure if he is a believer but he traces the problems all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Sadly I think a dumb society is encouraged because its easier to control.
Yes!
Great video, Leilani! On point on soooo many levels! Bravo!
Just recently found your channel. I needed to hear ALL OF THIS. Thank you.
I was raised in the church, ran from the church and God, lived some craziness and returned to Christ in my 30s. I had our first daughter outside of Christ and her suffering is proof of it. She and I were actually baptized together when she was 11 and I was 33. But she knew me in some of my worst points and then throughout my personal redemption. I say all that just to say to you, pray with and for your daughter always. Because I didn’t understand community and am only now seeing the significance and coming to so much mind blowing realizations in the failures of myself, the church in south Florida (as I’m sure worldwide) and our entire education system as far as community goes. I could rant on this topic for days.
Thank you for hitting on this. I was nodding along and saying “preach!” through the whole thing.
@ReKeRe thanks!
From the rooftops... YES!!!!! I love the book Dumbing Us Down, and I could not help but see how the public school model has shaped our churches. Yes, yes, yes!
Having people in our congregation into our homes, sharing meals together at home is a huge way to strengthen that community. And isn't that part of why our families aren't the community they should be? When you see the statistics on how common it is for families to NOT eat together, so much suffers. There's obviously so much more, but it's a key step.
Children's therapy can also destroy families. To get agreeable people to come back for $ the therapists often blame the family to gratify the client even though it causes more harm than good. Now that so many young people are in therapy I guarantee it also has something to do with the breakdown of the nuclear family in America.
This covered so much of where my heart is, trying to develop Biblical families! Wonderful
Mainstream American churches are more likely to be "networks" however house churches are growing and those are extended family ❤
We have a lovely house church family
I remember the names of all the people i went to school with in Grade 3. 😂😂😂 there were only 8 of us, four girls, four boys. I lived in a SMALL farming community. However, i do not still have contact with them.
The problem is not public schools. The problem is taking God and prayer OUT of our schools and society. When my mother was growing up they had prayer in schools. Ever since they took God out you've seen the rapid decline in our schools.
I'm enjoying listening to this.... a lot of food for thought. And lots of things for me to pray about regarding direction for our family.
Public school ABSOLUTELY puts a wedge between parents and their children. It's so subtle and evil. I can't stand public school. I'm starting to notice that I can't stand people who CAN stand public school. The division is multi-layered.
I get this!! My kids currently in public school but they and I want to homeschool next year, I don’t like the the teachers or how the other parents just don’t stand up for their children how they should and how I have been due to a bunch of unprofessional behaviors from the school staff!
Very thought provoking. Wish I had more time to condense some thoughts. But thank you!
Awsome content always enjoy the honesty... public school has effected my family's relationship I'm not the smartest dad, but I know common sense! I feel I only spend 3hrs a day and that is night with my children because as soon as they come home it's eat than sleep and when they wake we only have that 3hrs to bond then it's back to sleep and get up get on the bus go to school...ect. thank you for the content
Thank you, this has been a paradigm shift for me.
That's what I'm fighting with in myself right now
It goes further back in history than just US Public school system do an extensive roman history and The origins if the Vatican \Catholic church look at the Nazis regime as a recarnation of the Roman Empire then keep a look out for the next and final recantation of the Roman empire
Has its roots in Babylon I think.
Wow well done..Same things on my heart as well..been trying to really understand what community meant.... All love in Yahushua Ha Mashiah! 🎉❤
There was a lot packed in this video! 👏🏻❤
If you home-schooling, you never get rid of your kids! No alone time. And the point of school is to prepare your kid for the world. No one can come between family if the kid doesn't want it. I couldn't wait to get away from my parents because I hated being told what to do. My kids, on the other hand, love being with me even over their friends. It is not normal to isolate your child from the outside world. They will have no friends and will never learn heartbreak or rejection which is what they will 100% experience in the employment realm.
I agree that the school system is shit, but there are different types of schools. Like Christian schools, which have better values.
And as for family, that is the point. Kids must learn to let their parents go. They can't be dependent on them forever. Whether my kids want me when they're older or not is their choice, no one can tell them to be around me or not.
Sorry, I need my free time, no way I'm going to traumatise myself again learning all that school curriculum and then trying to teach it to my kids. Nightmare!
That's what daycare and school is there for. Let them suffer and do the hard work.
I just don't get people who want so much control over everything to do with their child. Let them be free. Let them go and be social. How boring to be stuck at home with the same faces everyday. I can think of nothing worse.
And one can be free while homeschooling too. There are co-ops, church groups, sports, dance, ect… many homeschool parent now utilize it.
Some of us are single parents and unfortunately cant homeschool our own kids because we have to work. My kids attend public school and they are fine. Is the public school perfect? No its not, but some of us dont have other options. I just think its wrong to make others that arent as privileged made to feel lesser than or condemned because of situations that are not our fault.
Nowhere, am I trying to make you feel guilty for sending your child to public school because you are a single parent. I think this may be something that you yourself are struggling with personally, maybe because you feel guilty that others believe homeschool is best for them and you can’t do it because of your situation? As humans we tend to put a lot of guilt on ourselves, because we want to do everything perfectly.
Most importantly, I will add that God is sovereign and it doesn’t matter what situation you’re in, God knows everything and He will help you with everything. Just because your situation isn’t ideal for you doesn’t mean he can’t work through you in your life and in your child’s life. Remember in your weakness, He is made strong. Trust in that.
@@LivingWithEve actually I don't feel guilty about not homeschooling. I personally don't think homeschooling is for everyone. If you or anyone else wants to do that, then great. I have no problem with anyone doing what they feel is best for their family. But to make a broad generalization that public school destroys everyone's family is making assumptions that aren't true. My kids attend a public school and my kids are extremely well behaved, make good grades, and are lights to other kids around them. In an ideal world everyone would homeschool because our society would be functioning correctly with the man working and the mother staying home with the children. But unfortunately, we live in a fallen society where not everyone is privileged to do that. My family is not dysfunctional or being destroyed because my kids go to a public school. I teach my kids morals. They know right from wrong. They don't hang out with kids who are bad influences. Infact, I've been able to teach them so much about getting along with others who are different than them. They know how to socialize with all types of kids. And when they get out into the real world one day and get real jobs, they will already have the experience they need to thrive in an environment that's not always perfect. I am in no way saying public schools are perfect. Of course there is a lot wrong with public education that's needs improvement. But the most important thing is teaching your children at home right from wrong and how to deal with certain situations and conflicts when they arise. I honestly don't regret it.
Sis,write a book on this and answer these questions
My 12 year old is a social butterfly and wants to go back to school but she doesn’t like school lol My older one 15 does online school with LUOA and let’s just say I’m not happy with that platform. It’s more like college courses than HS. I’m trying to get a job at a Christian school I want them to go to. My older one is really excited to not be in the house only doing school My younger one struggles with math and there aren’t any leveled math classes. It’s pre-algebra then Algebra honors. Latin honors. I’m concerned to say the least. If I get a position that’s good because I get a discount and we are all with other people but I guess I’m concerned losing our closeness. I’m concerned about my younger daughter’s ability to do some classes. Then if I don’t get a job there neither of them can go because it’s expensive. Idk. I feel really torn.
Oh that is so hard and I’m so sorry. You just have to let the Lord lead you in what to do, but I know that still doesn’t make it any easier. We’ll be praying for you. Keep us updated.
I'll pray for you and your daoughtor❤
Capitalism. Marx spoke of the alienation. Families cannot survive. You have to move for jobs. Need two jobs to survive. Layoffs exhaust savings. Stress
Amen.