My dad definitely did a lot of these things really well, and now I have a wonderful relationship with him, and I genuinely appreciate his graciousness with my mum. My mum had a lot of difficulty with it and it tends to hurt.
I understand the positive energy behind this concept. I believe there is a caveat to these principles. You must have strong personal boundaries and strong boundaries between yourself and your ex. If you don’t have that foundation in place this frame of mind could land you in a position where you are overstepping your personal boundaries to be generous or kind or accommodating.. And I will say that exes with pervasive maladaptive behaviors makes executing these principles near impossible at times. And often the “decision” to have children with other people are not chosen directly, particularly when there was no marriage or mutual decision to have a child at all. IMO 90% to 99% of your material holds immeasurable value for the majority of people. I personally think this information alone could exacerbate issues for many high conflict “coparenting” situations and needs to have additional information linked to it.
You exude such positivity in your videos. Thank you for generously sharing your expertise! I have benefitted from everyone of your presentations I have watched!
Hey there! I just checked out this video on "How To Be A Better Co-Parent" and it was super helpful! The host breaks down the complexities of co-parenting in such an easy-to-understand way, and I love how they emphasize the importance of putting the kids first. Plus, their top 10 tips for becoming a better co-parent were spot on! If you're struggling with co-parenting, definitely give this video a watch. It's got some great insights and practical tools that you can start implementing right away.
It's great, your a professional psychologist, I am an insight meditator. I have almost an identical outlook on this topic. Thank you, I did want some reassurance on this. ☯
Dr. Paul! 😀 Thank you for your videos. They are helping me handle myself, however, I think I need to talk to someone regarding my current situation. I currently co parent, however, there are boundaries being broken and a lot of miscommunication.
Wonderful! Jennifer Aquino, you can schedule a no-cost call with one of our coaches to find out what we offer at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall. We love to help people on their journey one on one.
Abigail, I don't think I've done one specifically on that, but I'll add it to the production list. This one presents the basic model: ruclips.net/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/видео.html DrPaul
So what can I do if the mother was manipulative and narcissistic with our relationships and most relationships she still has today? We are almost at zero communication at this point due to that dynamic.
Everything you said I must work on, what if he hurt my daughter as well as me? That’s followed by anger issues and her father claims he has changed. It has my trust in him messed up. How do I let her in his life to prove himself as he says he wants to finally after 6 years?
Shabrenda Bush, very carefully and with supervision at first. Let her call the shots on how long and what happens. Giver her as much control as possible.
How would you handle changing how summer brake is taken . My husband is supposed to get all of the summer and spring brake but the most we have been able to take advantage of is 7 - 10 days a year but next year we are planing on bring him to are house. Would you do all summer or mabby 50 precent would be better
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yeh but how do you quatify their un happiness and benefits of love from me. There must come a point where their unhappiness is too much and they shud live with there mim??
I was about to finish listening when I realized that this is for ex-spouses who don’t suffer from personality disorders. Most of this won’t work with them. #reality #evilexists #getto18
love your vids but off topic, should a 13 yo child see a therapist during divorce of his parents who are currently separated and seems to be having depressed moods or should it wait til divorce is final. this is my son's school policy and current situation.
Great question, stickaman. It is never too early to reach out for help. Talk to your child and see if he or she is open to the suggestion. You could also do the counseling together. Give it a try.
Honestly, how do you handle this when you as a man, got taken advantage of at a concert? She was doing lines while pregnant causing me to shame her into feeling remorse? Finally I got the girl off drugs, till she moved back to her home town, then she found a bad guy (sells drugs and illegal guns) and now i get threatened constantly for trying to keep your son in a positive position. She dose illegal activities daily, and insists that she should be able to take her son with her.
We can only control our actions, not another's. Figure out what you can control and then stay in that lane. You might be able to get the authorities to intercede if you have proof of her activities and that is endangers the child.
This is exactly what I came her to find answers too. How to help my children cope with a covert narc father disguises himself as a loving chistian man who does good for evryone in the community but his own family. And also commits parental alienation with i used to say, just my middle son. But now I see that they are all being abuse in this by use of triangulation. But the middle one is the only one who is activly participating in the parental alienation. and now I have this along with my kids saying he blames his perfectionism and other abusive ways on the Bible. "Dad says that the Bible says we have to be perfect" My son is almost 17 and we were able to discuss the truth in how wht the Bible says about perfectionism But I have to help him deal with this. Adn my 12 yr old daughter and oldest son are being abused and bullied my that middle child. especially while at my house. It so hard to see them deal with it and the emotional, spirtitual and psychological changes in each of them, while fighting all of this in court for 8 yrs now. Adn they also have to fear loosing me to terminal cancer too. I want to do all I can for them while I still have the time. And the courts only make it worse! And now I have no lawyer adn very little money for one. I have been binge watching your videos. And they are great! But do you have any other suggestion?
Pepe Deez Nutz yes it is and I have to deal with 2. They refuse to acknowledge how their selfish choices affects our toddler. In order to spite me, they decide to leave my son in the care of someone who is physically disabled and unable to care for themselves.
This is a new perspective for me. Very positive and loving. Thank you for this video! Excellent advice.
Rosa Carrasco-Vergara, thank you for watching.
My dad definitely did a lot of these things really well, and now I have a wonderful relationship with him, and I genuinely appreciate his graciousness with my mum. My mum had a lot of difficulty with it and it tends to hurt.
Thanks for watching and commenting Pedro - you're absolutely right. When we apply principle correctly we can get very different outcomes. DrPaul
Thank you. It is really all about the child. I am still learning even with a difficult person. Focus on myself and our child.
Lp, thank you for watching and commenting.
Going through this now. Thank you for your words. I am gonna spend some time considering what was said here
Wonderful, Vance Joy. Honored to be on your team.
I just want the best for my boys, following every step. Thank you for the advices
You are very welcome, Leonard.
I understand the positive energy behind this concept. I believe there is a caveat to these principles. You must have strong personal boundaries and strong boundaries between yourself and your ex. If you don’t have that foundation in place this frame of mind could land you in a position where you are overstepping your personal boundaries to be generous or kind or accommodating.. And I will say that exes with pervasive maladaptive behaviors makes executing these principles near impossible at times. And often the “decision” to have children with other people are not chosen directly, particularly when there was no marriage or mutual decision to have a child at all. IMO 90% to 99% of your material holds immeasurable value for the majority of people. I personally think this information alone could exacerbate issues for many high conflict “coparenting” situations and needs to have additional information linked to it.
This video just improved my day 10x. 🙏🏽
Rubik's Cube, that is awesome, thanks for letting me know.
You exude such positivity in your videos. Thank you for generously sharing your expertise! I have benefitted from everyone of your presentations I have watched!
You are so welcome! Glad you are here.
Hey there! I just checked out this video on "How To Be A Better Co-Parent" and it was super helpful! The host breaks down the complexities of co-parenting in such an easy-to-understand way, and I love how they emphasize the importance of putting the kids first. Plus, their top 10 tips for becoming a better co-parent were spot on! If you're struggling with co-parenting, definitely give this video a watch. It's got some great insights and practical tools that you can start implementing right away.
Thank you for the recommendation. It comes from years of working with these situations.
It's great, your a professional psychologist, I am an insight meditator. I have almost an identical outlook on this topic. Thank you, I did want some reassurance on this. ☯
Wonderful! Thank you for your good work.
Excellent points and suggestions. Thank you
Donna Rakitzis, thank you for being a part of our positive community.
This is great! Do you happen to have any videos that would help me counsel kids with divorced or separated families?
Yes I do! There is so much. Stay positive and self-care is about all there is room for in a YT comment.
Dr. Paul! 😀
Thank you for your videos. They are helping me handle myself, however, I think I need to talk to someone regarding my current situation. I currently co parent, however, there are boundaries being broken and a lot of miscommunication.
Wonderful! Jennifer Aquino, you can schedule a no-cost call with one of our coaches to find out what we offer at www.drpauljenkins.com/breakthroughcall. We love to help people on their journey one on one.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Will do!
Thank you for the reply🥰
A very empowering list. Thank you!
Thanks Lyndsie! Hey, have you signed up yet for the pre-order on parentingpowerup.com? I think you're going to love this. DrPaul
Get to yes really I do appreciate thank you.
Mona, it is a game changer.
Choose well 😢
Yes.
Dr. Paul, this is a great list. Do you have a video for overprotective parents (mom)?
Abigail, I don't think I've done one specifically on that, but I'll add it to the production list. This one presents the basic model: ruclips.net/video/1SFIc2LsHyA/видео.html
DrPaul
Good tips, and reminders 😁thank you
You are so welcome!
So what can I do if the mother was manipulative and narcissistic with our relationships and most relationships she still has today? We are almost at zero communication at this point due to that dynamic.
Keep any communication focused on the child. She isn't going to change so don't try to change her.
Love this
Thanks, Jamie.
Everything you said I must work on, what if he hurt my daughter as well as me? That’s followed by anger issues and her father claims he has changed. It has my trust in him messed up. How do I let her in his life to prove himself as he says he wants to finally after 6 years?
Shabrenda Bush, very carefully and with supervision at first. Let her call the shots on how long and what happens. Giver her as much control as possible.
For those dealing with abuse some of this seems a bit less than helpful: ex- you picked this person (who hurt your child)
Each situation is different, glad you are there for your child(ren).
3:15 O is 50 50 not always bewt for kids?
Individual circumstances sometimes call for different percentages. Just depends.
Wonderful advice 💛👍
Thank you!
How would you handle changing how summer brake is taken . My husband is supposed to get all of the summer and spring brake but the most we have been able to take advantage of is 7 - 10 days a year but next year we are planing on bring him to are house. Would you do all summer or mabby 50 precent would be better
I am not sure, work it out with all the parties to what is best for the child.
11:30 so if they are not happy staying with me should I let them stay with there mother
Not necessarily. They can learn from you and need to feel the love of both parents.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV yeh but how do you quatify their un happiness and benefits of love from me. There must come a point where their unhappiness is too much and they shud live with there mim??
I was about to finish listening when I realized that this is for ex-spouses who don’t suffer from personality disorders. Most of this won’t work with them. #reality #evilexists #getto18
Anytime there are mental health issues, the problems can be tougher to handle.
Hahaha this is funny!!! ;)))) thanks for reminding us!
Our pleasure!
love your vids but off topic, should a 13 yo child see a therapist during divorce of his parents who are currently separated and seems to be having depressed moods or should it wait til divorce is final. this is my son's school policy and current situation.
Great question, stickaman. It is never too early to reach out for help. Talk to your child and see if he or she is open to the suggestion. You could also do the counseling together. Give it a try.
Doesn't work with a parental alienating parent, i.e. a narcissist...
Definitely harder, Bradley Yates. All we can do is our best for the children.
Do you still do evaluations?
Or coparenting therapy?
Honestly, how do you handle this when you as a man, got taken advantage of at a concert? She was doing lines while pregnant causing me to shame her into feeling remorse? Finally I got the girl off drugs, till she moved back to her home town, then she found a bad guy (sells drugs and illegal guns) and now i get threatened constantly for trying to keep your son in a positive position. She dose illegal activities daily, and insists that she should be able to take her son with her.
We can only control our actions, not another's. Figure out what you can control and then stay in that lane. You might be able to get the authorities to intercede if you have proof of her activities and that is endangers the child.
Christ, I do all this positivity and kindness, she might fall back.in love with me again lol
Michael, just maybe.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV oh I'm not sure I want that....
Hard to use this with a narcissist.
Right - which is why it is so important to focus on what we can personally control. Thanks for watching! DrPaul
This is exactly what I came her to find answers too. How to help my children cope with a covert narc father disguises himself as a loving chistian man who does good for evryone in the community but his own family. And also commits parental alienation with i used to say, just my middle son. But now I see that they are all being abuse in this by use of triangulation. But the middle one is the only one who is activly participating in the parental alienation. and now I have this along with my kids saying he blames his perfectionism and other abusive ways on the Bible. "Dad says that the Bible says we have to be perfect" My son is almost 17 and we were able to discuss the truth in how wht the Bible says about perfectionism But I have to help him deal with this. Adn my 12 yr old daughter and oldest son are being abused and bullied my that middle child. especially while at my house. It so hard to see them deal with it and the emotional, spirtitual and psychological changes in each of them, while fighting all of this in court for 8 yrs now. Adn they also have to fear loosing me to terminal cancer too. I want to do all I can for them while I still have the time. And the courts only make it worse! And now I have no lawyer adn very little money for one. I have been binge watching your videos. And they are great! But do you have any other suggestion?
You can't...
Pepe Deez Nutz yes it is and I have to deal with 2. They refuse to acknowledge how their selfish choices affects our toddler. In order to spite me, they decide to leave my son in the care of someone who is physically disabled and unable to care for themselves.
"you" Need to put 'God Almighty and the Bible back into your lives. THIS HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH "positivity" ??????????????
Not everyone believes in God. I am a person of faith and positive.
I hope Tristan Thompson is listening…
Thank you for watching.