"The way to strengthen our loving-muscles is by being loving even when it's difficult". Absolutely superlative. I just learned your technique/method is rooted in your principles. I am going to live by this until it becomes my default practice. Thank you for this gem as well as for not kicking the fallen any more than has been done enough already.
Well said, Sea Sun. Yes, my techniques/methods are rooted in principles--especially the eight that I've enunciated in my training. Techniques that are unprincipled are shallow, and more like tricks :)
@@TheWizardOfWords Very close to A Course in Miracles and Attitudinal Healing Principles. Maybe you know these principles or maybe it’s just a matter of Truth is Truth. Thanks ☺️
@@TheWizardOfWords Dan, I'm a recent subscriber under another email. I have you on all my devices. I don't know how I didn't find you sooner. You are such a gem. I'm grateful 🙏 for you and every one who contributed to your personality. God bless 🙌
Hey Dan, your words about love being the opposite of weakness resonate with me so much that I get emotional and teary-eyed, because I've made mistakes due to my lack of compassion and communication skills, in a desperate attempt to show I have strength, but my actions backfired badly on my mental health, and I've seen how my actions and words could affect others. I don't ever want put myself and other people in that place of darkness again. I don't want my words to hurt people. I'm growing to be a more positive, loving and savvy communicator, and your videos and words help me immensely on that journey, Thank you for being such an inspiring and loving teacher, Dan! Lots of love.
Nayram, you have just made my month! And remember--you'll have plenty of opportunities to demonstrate the loving and mindful side of your nature as time goes on. The key is to learn from your mistakes, but not beat yourself up over them. It sounds to me as though you are truly heading in the right direction.
I do agree with everything you said. I like that part where you said whenever you're in a situation of darkness, do not cast more darkness ... instead, cast more light, love or understanding and change the world. We should all remember that and make our world a better place. Thanks Dan and we need to hear and listen from you more often. Love, kudos and wish you more success.
Dan you are truly an inspiration for so many of us who seem to have such difficulty communicating properly. I could spend hours watching your videos, I even take notes! Just ordered your books and I’m looking forward to learning so much more😊. Would love to see more content on social settings rather than in the workplace so much. Keep posting!!!
Another suggestion I've heard is that Will could have stood up, walked over and kissed Jada's shaved head. That would have been a very sweet moment. But if you're already walking up to the stage then I like your response, Dan.
Chris Rock needs an award for keeping his professional position. I thought I saw Chris make eye contact with him and reassuring him he would stop. Chris seemed to get there was more going on in Smiths mind, something deeper.
OMGosh! I love the saying, "the opposite of weakness is not strength, it's Love". I've never heard that before. I'm going to remember that forever!! Thank you for your wisdom 🙏♥️
Will Smith’s response was strange. One moment he was laughing at what Chris Rock said about his wife and then he hit him in the next instant. Whether this was staged or not, it was strange and reflects poorly on his character. Thank you for a wonderful video! Your insights were spot on.
He did it because he saw the look of disapproval she gave him about the comment and his initial reaction to it, so he went completely opposite in order to gain her acceptance of him and to please her, likely out of fear for the result he would suffer at displeasing her
I agree with Dan on all of his observations. Will's actions showed he was only thinking of his own emotions, not his wife's. This is a perfect example for why it's important to be prepared for situations that trigger our emotions - as Will Smith actively studies Sadhguru, who teaches how to respond rather than react. He even had Sadhguru visit his home where he met his children. Will has the basic knowledge but it STILL happened. Knowledge is only useful if it's properly used. Yes, Will not only brought attention to the situation, but he embarrassed himself and his entire family. He was definitely only focused on his own personal emotions, not his wife's alopecia, or her feelings. Chris obviously did not know, and obviously did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings.
This was a very profound video. It is so easy to forget light/love always wins and resort to casting darkness. I really needed to hear this. Thank you for your wonderful content!
The 3 questions to pose to self before speaking; "Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want?", are vital. Thank you Dan. I will be watching this presentation several times.
It's so hard to practice but so necessary. I have teen kids and so I get to practice responding rather than reacting daily!! But I believe Dan I have learned so much from your works. Thank you and ❤️ love!! I love your saying " light always wins over darkness"
Dan, your observations are very right-on. I observed the same items discussed in your video, especially the cold display of empathy. There's a clip of him celebrating at an afterparty where his music was being djayed with him in the center of a crowd of people who were cheering and worshipping him; with his academy award in his hand held to the ceiling while lip syncing to his songs. There was zero display of conscience. I was shocked to see that he would even feel comfortable showing his face after the incident and would want to go straight home from embarrassment. He made Chris look like the bad guy in his acceptance speech and didn't take accountability for his actions...Bascially called Chris the devil & in essence was blaming Chris for his behavior. As far as Jada, there was a clip upon her arrival heading to her dressing room with her stating, "she didn't care if anyone made fun of her head tonight" in a sassy manner as if she sensed Chris would make a joke about her head. Alopecia is not some terminal disease and there are treatments available to reverse the hair loss. Although, I do emphasize with the affects one experiences with their appearance. In summary, they both appear to be disconnected from reality, self-centered and like attention. Will appearing as a borderline sociopath & Jada an over-the-top diva. This was a huge historical night for Will and the family, a night to be celebrated and enjoyed. You would think that they would be in such high spirits with an attitude of love & joy that no "darkness" would put my light out that night, that nothing is going nor can ruin this one amazing night". Nothing but fun would have been on my mind. I would have be in such of an appreciative mindset and appreciation would have been the order for that day. Sociopathatic individuals are overlooked because many of them exude charm. I highly encourage others to educate themselves on the characteristics of people with such behaviors to prevent from becoming a vulnerable target. Sometimes we have to stop taking ourselves & life too serious and need to be able to chill out and laugh at ourselves and learn to be your best friend rather than a torturing antagonist towards ourselves with excessive self-consciousness. Btw....you know how some have nicknames for their assets such as cars, etc. Well, my nickname for my phone became..drumroll.... Dan😁.... I have been watching your videos religiously at work, home...24/7 for the past 2 weeks....they are a healer. The other day while at home I had a panic moment because I thought I misplaced or lost my phone. The first thought that subconsciously came to my mind in that panic moment was, "Where's Dan!!?"...while frantically tearing my room apart to find my phone...aka Dan..it just rolled off my tongue so naturally🤣.
Hi Dan!!! I just "stumbled upon" your videos the other day and I want to say they are wonderful and just what I needed after a recent "event" that I completely mishandled... I have been trying to overcome my rare but devastating tendency to jump from "event" to "reaction" and your videos , including this one, have help me immensely. I am learning what to do in that "sliver of time" and your videos are giving me the guidance I need. Thank you thank you thank you!!! One question: do you have a video that explains more about "cost/benefit"? After what I have watched of your communication training and after the bad experience I had the other night , I have a pretty good idea of how to do that, but I am really gaining SO much from your videos I would like to see that. I will continue to search through your videos for content that will continue to help me shine light into the darkness!
@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you very much Dan for your response and for all you do presenting these videos , they are really helping and I'm looking forward to all your new ones!
Loving this video. Will try and us at work. I'm a school dinner lady. I see part of my job as trying to give our year 3 & 4 the skills to deal positively with negative emotions and situations.
Hi Dan. Been invested in your channel for a while now. I’ve been using the broken record technique as well as the “That may be but” as well. I’ve found that these are great communication methods for dealing with difficult people…
New subscriber here. I am sharing this video to everyone I know 😂💗! Illuminate!!! I had the unfortunate experience of watching the Oscar's with my 90 year old mother. Will Smith's behavior was unsettling at the least. Yuck moment! Thank you for the content, I have lots of vids to catch up on!
Welcome, Susan, and I hope you catch up on more vids and continue that sharing! I can imagine that your 90-year-old mother was baffled by such behavior, and probably thought it was staged. The fact that it continued and we were treated to a tirade of ugly words accompanied by mugging didn't help.
I love your Chanel and watch mostly all your videos. Thanks for great content. Very useful for myself and also my 16 years old who’s been constantly bullied at school. Just a request, because English is not my first language and sometimes it’s hard to understand because you speak fast, i would appreciate if speak slower. Thanks again for your great works.
What I have learned (the hard way) is responding to a horrible situation immediately is never good. Now when people insult, antagonize, demean or hurt me my answer now is silence... no response at all. I address it later and I normally start with.."Its truly disappointing to me that..." I lean in and I never break eye contact. I also do it in private.
@@TheWizardOfWords I learned it from you Dan. What I find using that specific technique is that people with the loud bark in public are very intimidated when you confront them in private. My boss is now sick of the phrase "that may be but" (rinse, repeat). It is so effective. Happy Holidays to you and your Dan
Such great insights and analogies. Chris Rock also has a learning disability / is neuro-divergent (or whatever the correctly woke phrase is these days 🙄) AND chris too, had already talked in interviews about difficulties reading social cues that it causes. (He described it as a milder form of Asperger’s) Therefore If Chris *should’ve known better* - then Will *should’ve known better* why Chris wouldn’t. Or is one Disability more worthy than the other? Who gets to decide that? Will Smith is a hot pile of privileged NOPE from that perspective also. Pure hypocrisy. Where is Ricky Gervais when I need him. 🤍
Say, good idea--I'm going to google Ricky Gervais. I may not agree with what he says all the time, but I generally find myself laughing out loud nonetheless. And speaking of people who were not particularly "mindful" when hosting and roasting :) :). Yet no one saw fit to knock his block off.
@@TheWizardOfWords ruclips.net/video/n6Kzom_OTh8/видео.html When I first heard his philosophy on how he builds a jokes - is when I finally “got” him and could lift my chin off the floor and just laugh without worrying. There’s another clip where he says something to the effect of: would have steered clear of hair jokes… because I would have gone in much harder, and straight for the “entanglement” instead. (I think the way she did a dramatic reveal party for that to an audience - is what makes it fair game according to his formula. I also think its where Chris Rock briefly considered going before taking the high road like a champ and refusing to be downed) You’re right, Smith would not have punched Ricky Gervais even if he’d gone full cringe on entanglement up there . But Smith would not have punched anyone on a Denzel Washington level of the Hollywood elite either. There’s some subjugation around the decision to do this to Chris Rock that is unsettling at the core Human Being level, and was about power and “othering”. Shuttup court jester! You’re not actually one of us.
I do not like the word neuro-divergent, or neuro-atypical.....Chris Rock is on what is called the Autism Spectrum, both my eldest boys are on the spectrum as well ....my eldest has texture and sensory issues, while my middle son displays the social cues and physical space area. Chris Rock has found the outlet that allows him to be himself through comedy. It is unfortunate that he made the comment he did, however, Dan is 100 percent right ...you don't throw more darkness to fight darkness.
I enjoyed this cunning, expert analysis! This is very much along the lines of The Charlie and Ben Podcast (The guys from Charisma on Command) Taking a psychological approach to understand what happened rather than merely seeing and trying to justify everything from a superficial surface level.
I don't know Charlie and Ben, but I hope you've placed me in good company, radfoo. I try to understand and learn from the people and things in my life. There are enough people out there judging based on artificial rules and laws handed down by mystery people. The world doesn't need one more judge.
Hi Dan, Two years ago, I was losing my hair due to an illness. I thought deeply about what I could do, as I did not like, the way I looked. I considered several options, wearing a headcover, or trimming my hair close to the skin. I decided on trimming my hair close to the skin to reduce hair in places other than my head, and wearing a hat if I felt uncomfortable being asked why I have such short hair. However, as I became more comfortable with my short hair, I decided not to cover it but smile at the staring folks. This is my interpretation: if Jada did not want attention on her head/hair, she had a choice of covering it. She exposed it at such a highly attention-giving event for no other reason than to say, " Look at me, I am gorgeous even without hair." I agree with your assessment of Will's behaviour. This can be a wonderful opportunity to address mental health through the lens of intersectionality.
Thanks for your thoughtful words, Tessa, and for sharing how you handled a hair-loss problem. And I totally agree that it appears that Jada was not embarrassed at all, but rather was making a statement--a statement that very very few people could make . . . .
I'm glad I watched your video on this. I was in the complete mindset that Will was defending his wife. I was not seeing any other angle. You have opened my mind to a whole different way of thinking on it. I agree with your suggested ways to handle the situation. Thank you for that. I still think that all comedians really need to think about their material before they present it though. Rude jokes used to only be done at a roast event and it is expected..whereas now, comedians make rude jokes in any venue towards anyone without much thought beforehand. Anyway, thank you for helping me understand my flawed thinking (about how Will responded) and highlighting far better ways to respond in those situations. Love your videos.
Rings as utterly true. Brilliantly said. You can’t cast out darkness with darkness. It reminds me of a vintage movie, War of the Roses. The darker the female became the darker Michael Douglas threw back until they killed one another. Such a heathy way of looking at negativity, as a learning and growing experience. It reminds me the Chinese symbol meaning crisis equals opportunity. Light cast out darkness. Beautiful. 🦋
My Guru Dan, Thank you for the video. Either the situation is real or Oscar ACT. To add whatever you said, keeping silence will also show one's strength (if one is really a strong person) in some situations. would like to read your response.
Totally agree that there can be strength in silence. Absolutely. Silence should never be mistaken for weakness. Silence CAN be weakness, of course, if it comes from fear--e.g. when people witness bullying--REAL BULLYING and do not stand with the victim (though standing next to a victim without saying a word can be quite effective). Silence can be weakness when it comes from a politician that doesn't dare go up against someone doing harm to the polity. But silence can also mean strength--when it is given as a considered response to someone who is not worthy of one word coming out of your mouth. There are many instances where silence rules, in my opinion :)
Wow!! This is spot on very valuable information. Thank you for this video. You have shed a lot of light in this dark issue we all tend to struggle with as humans
Thank you for helping process this because - I will never get over the shock of Will smacking Chris!!! What in the actual heck is going on in the world?! :)
DAN, Where do I even begin. I guess I should start out by explaining how much you've changed my life, in an extremely positive way. I began obsessively listening to your videos at the start of the Pandemic. Because your advice has completely transformed the ways in which I communicate, I felt compelled to share these videos with anyone who may benefit. I own a hair salon in Providence, RI When I hear a client is dealing with a communication issue, I almost always refer them to watch your videos, Ill even go as far as to select one that perfectly relates to their current situation and text the video link to them, everything from how to deal with difficult people, to your advice on going for an interview. Many of them HAVE taken the time to watch your videos. It baffles me that you aren't more popular (Imean, it does and it doesn't🙄) I want you to be able to reach even more people with your content. How are you, the only person who gets it!? Not only that by you can articulate everything so well.. Lol anyway Im not trying to blow smoke ... I had a thousand more things i wanted to say, especially about this video in particular but its late and tired. Would you be willing to email me? ...it would honestly make my day💗 if you prefer, I can send you voice clips as a means of communication or some other way(I believe you mentioned you prefer video messages) I should also note, that I've been bald for the last 3 years. Its very easy to put myself in Jadas shoes. I would love to expand more on this video imparticular.. I feel like yours is the ONLY channel on youtube who's take I agree with and respect. -Candice Chatnoir425@gmail.com Please email me, I would love to chat
Candice, thank you for those kind words. I just sent an email to you suggesting you consider joining the beta testers who are going to be collaborating with me on my upcoming course and book.
A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. Proverbs 18:6-7 ESV
I love the darkness. I too live in the country. As I walk down dark hallways or roads , I can perceive the nocturnal animals and bc of lack of light, I cal feel the lack of people and space around me. I can look up and see the crystalline stars high above me on a clear night. Battles aren’t battles at all. See them as different processes. Adjust my sails. Again. Love you
I like this advice very much. Thank you. I did notice that Jada was not covering her head with a wig or a turban, but appeared to be showing boldness with a very high fashion look.
It is not possible to look at a person who is self centered, full of greed, and put you or your pets or family in danger. For example, I have two small rescue dogs. One is only ten pounds. I regularly see people not following the leash law, not willing to leash their pet claiming they are fine, when my dogs get nervous claw my side when barking, and if approached urinate on my clothing....thanks to this person's actions. How could you love this.....?
This sounds pretty but is utter bs when dealing with malignant people, with personality disordrered people, with sadists, with psychopaths... Not every person is truly founded in and full of only love & innocence! Some individuals need to be avoided as a matter of life & death. Some individuals will actially kill you or even worse, seek to crush and destroy you!
Larasita, I'm going to assume you're new to this channel. Time and again I have made the point throughout my videos that communication training is not the answer for one who is dealing with truly abusive or psychotic people. It is the answer, however, for dealing with "difficult people"--you know, the average challenging person we deal with every single day. Big huge difference. Dangerous, abusive, psychotic people must be avoided at all costs; in other words, give the relationship what it deserves--distance. Of course I agree with you on that point. However, that does not mean the abusive, psychotic person is therefore not born of love--that they cannot be redeemed--that they are not lovable. It doesn't mean we treat them with lovelessness. All people have value, I believe, even if they themselves don't know it. So if you come across an abusive person that APPEARS to you to be loveless--wish that person well as you close the door on the relationship--and go.
Dan, after reviewing the video of her reaction it showed her laughing after he slapped Chris Rick. She was very pleased with what Will Smith did. However, just a few days later she has once again thrown her husband to the wolves stating basically it was on him.
General question on people with diagnosed (or undiagnosed) personality disorders, such as psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), who are not capable of love or empathy. Trying to get them to understand those concepts is impossible, so how do the rest of us respond to those types of people who do such things as Will Smith & Jada did?
People with disorders that make them dangerous--e.g. psychopaths or physical/psychological abusers are to be avoided at all costs. No communication technique or stance or posture or attitude--no words--will bring about a good result with these people. Give those relationships what is needed--namely distance. The idea, Kimberly, is for you to understand and practice empathy--and for you to act with love. By your example, those people who are capable of love and empathy will be inspired. I truly believe this is what we are all called to do--to learn--and to love--not to teach or change other people. My teachings focus on YOU and how you can navigate the waters. They do not focus on changing or eliciting love from others--except by your example, of course. In the bargain I teach you how to handle difficult people--the difficult people that cross our paths every day. Bosses, friends, relatives, coworkers, children, etc. etc. Your garden variety difficult person. The goal is not to change them. The goal in that instance is to train them how to treat YOU. The focus is always on YOU. :) :) :)
@@TheWizardOfWords I already shared the video with my circle of friends. Keep up the good work Dan. You're a light shining very bright in these dark days.👍🏼🙏🏽🛐
She made no attempt to stop him. As a woman who has stopped several stupid man interventions she made no intervening interventions. Didn't grab his arm didn't run up behind him and whisper something. Plenty of things she could have done without totally embarrassing her husband but stopping him.
That was not a mistake. Chris made the same.joke years back and Will warned him if he did it again he would smack him. He kept his word. Black people are not entertainment, our emotions are not entertainment as I feel everyone uses those people for. If you poke a bull you get the horns. Alot of people don't see how long Will has been poked with his wife at expense and I totally relate everyday these past 2 weeks someone has been trying to hurt me. Chris and Will forgave each other. I wish we wouldn't be like tmz and drag it out too. I think some people dont get u can say nice words all day and some people will still hurt you. It's crazy how the jokes have subsided a bit once he did physically make a stand for himself and his wife. Sometimes, if I did not punch my bully I would not have been left alone but thats my perspective and why I feel the way I do cuz how people have treated me. What most guys do, is let people make fun of their wife/girlfriend til they feel suicidal. The color thing is much heavier right now and it's frustrating because u feel no one listens, there's no such thing as good or bad, only thinking makes so. I don't think he did a bad thing, maybe people will understand later when they're in a similar situation. I wish people would b more empathetic towards one another specially now.
I would advise Will Smith to start by talking to his son Jaden, who tweeted "And that's how we do it" or something to that effect. I would advise him to apologize to his son and explain that what he showed by his tantrum was weakness, not strength. And I'd recommend that he go see Chris Rock in person and say the same thing, provided he means it. From that point on, I would advise him to show the world by his example that he is a man of character and compassion--no more public apologies designed to make the entire thing go away. I'd advise him to spend the rest of his life teaching by example. Perhaps he should just be the person he'd like us to think he is--strong and loving. So far he's teaching the world something far different. And as for Chris Rock--if I were he I would drop the entire matter and once again--show the world who he is by being loving at every opportunity--even in his jokes--and put a period on this entire episode. BTW, you can be cutting and edgy in humor, if that's your job. That is not being loveless. It's being funny.
I thank you for your analysis; but I do not agree in something: I think what destroyed the atmosphere of the Awards was not the “physical violence” but the “bulling”. It sounds to me that we are very much used to accept others making “jokes” about physical problems or illnesses of others, without empathyzing with those refereed persons; moreover, we see someone slaping the face of his “friend” and immediatly react like “ohh, THIS was wrong”. I am not sayign one should reply violence with violence, but I think the first was in all respects worse than the later!
MV, I am absolutely not now--nor would I ever--condone bullying. However, this video just happens to deal with the response to the comments, more than the comments themselves. I hope you watched the entire video because I stated--and believe--we have to be uber-mindful of all infirmities suffered by people, and do what we can to raise awareness and therefore compassion. Mocking is never funny--even at awards shows. I totally agree with you M V and thank you for making the point.
My take: Jada is extremely jealous of Will's success. When he is celebrated, Jada goes dark with passive aggressive jealousy. When the joke was made Will thought oh no Jada gonna take this out on me F__< ME!!!...
So, wait, we won’t get to slap nor even strangle disrespectful people? Awww man! I’m just kidding, don’t worry. From the small bit I can discern from irregularly observing the Smith’s public life, the wife seems to be pining for attention and connection from her spouse. Thus the unfortunate infidelity that made much recent talk, and the disgusted eye roll when her spouse initially laughed at the joke. I think you’re absolutely right, Dan, that Will Smith was trying to demonstrate as extremely as possible that he was publicly on his wife’s side. That explains why she showed approval after the unusual display he suddenly performed. It’s all a sad thing to see. But, I strongly disagree that was a pattern for Will, because no one could or ever has said he acted that way before-the opposite- they say it was shockingly out of character for him. Besides, patterns don’t come off that awkward and shocking. The only pattern it may possibly arguably be was a feeling of helplessness and anger he repeats internally when his family is constantly publicly criticized that suddenly got the best of his clearly weakened hold on the reality of his external environment in that instance. And, I just laughed so, so much at Dan repeating ‘Ma bald head’ 50 times in this video. Omg how I laughed at the silly accent used there. I feel so bad for the fiasco involving that troubled family, that’s just a mirror of a deeply troubled industry which is negligent in protecting too many of it’s participants. It’s all just too much for me. Sigh.
HabitualLover, you believe this was not part of a pattern and stated "No one could or ever has said he acted that way before." I think Paul Rodriguez would beg to differ.
amethyst, I just want to see what communication lessons we can learn from this experience. Judging them or anyone else as human beings is way beyond my pay grade.
No one knows what was going through his mind but himself you were putting thoughts in Wills head It's impossible to be objective we are human and all of it's imperfections that come with being human including yourself . Although you do have some good advice for people who may already have the emotional and mental ability to practice your philosophy
You're right, Danney. I don't know exactly what Will was thinking, but on the other hand it is not irrational to draw a few conclusions based on how he was acting. These were not actions stemming from enlightened thought; that much I know with certitude.
I don't understand why they have begun hiring comedians to roast ppl at such an event. It's a whole night of slamming people who are there to celebrate their accomplishments. His statement shouldn't have been sd ever about her hair. I don't feel being insulted while receive an award even remotely go together.
Well I am blushing. BTW, I have a small figurine of Dr. Strange on my desk; someone gave it to me because she saw the resemblance. And here I thought I was Ironman. Am I slipping or going up on the ladder?
@Online Communication Skills Training Courses seeee I'm not the only one who saw the likeness😅, and while Iron Man is admirable in his own right, there is always an infinite power beyond technology, and Dr. Strange is one of the influential figures to inherit such mystical abilities. you are definitely at the top of the ladder.😄🙌
Well your theory does not work in a bullshit country like mine(in Eastern Europe) where if you react to mockery with kindness they will come to their senses... in these kind of countries darkness is fought by force not with mildness and peace....sadly. Why? Because that is the level of communication they understand.
Jozsi26, my training is not about making people come to their senses. It is about each of us approaching life with kindness and love. How people respond is up to them.
@@TheWizardOfWords I answered you.i sent it. They stoled my answer to you. It was long. People have been writing my books when they put me in jail with project blue beam in 2013. DP Goode State Police Oakwood AZ below Sedona az. Got to go lie down. Choosh, Ciow🛡️🛸🗺️😁🧐
Imagine how different it would've been if Will had this attitude: {Yes, my wife has alopecia, she's a very strong woman who is dealing with it in a positive way.} He would've actually liked that she was being compared to GI Jane, a very strong woman who was not defined by her looks or gender or hairstyle. His behavior made it seem that he has a negative attitude about his wife having alopecia, and he was a very bad influence for others who have alopecia, and for their family members, making them feel like there's a reason to think about it negatively. He had the opportunity to be a good example for others, to show it in a positive light, but he did the opposite. He could've stood up and said, "Yes, my wife IS like GI Jane, she has alopecia and is beautiful & strong." That would've been great for everyone affected by alopecia and other conditions! The audience would've likely given her a standing ovation.
Excellent, thoughtful post Avmedic. Totally agree. Now THAT would have been a strong statement, reflecting well on everyone concerned, including Will Smith.
Yes, the question, HYCTD is what do we learn from the situation--right? What do we learn about COMMUNICATION--as opposed to gossip and who's stepping out on whom.
"The way to strengthen our loving-muscles is by being loving even when it's difficult". Absolutely superlative. I just learned your technique/method is rooted in your principles. I am going to live by this until it becomes my default practice. Thank you for this gem as well as for not kicking the fallen any more than has been done enough already.
Well said, Sea Sun. Yes, my techniques/methods are rooted in principles--especially the eight that I've enunciated in my training. Techniques that are unprincipled are shallow, and more like tricks :)
@@TheWizardOfWords Very close to A Course in Miracles and Attitudinal Healing Principles. Maybe you know these principles or maybe it’s just a matter of Truth is Truth. Thanks ☺️
@@TheWizardOfWords Dan, I'm a recent subscriber under another email. I have you on all my devices. I don't know how I didn't find you sooner. You are such a gem. I'm grateful 🙏 for you and every one who contributed to your personality. God bless 🙌
Hey Dan, your words about love being the opposite of weakness resonate with me so much that I get emotional and teary-eyed, because I've made mistakes due to my lack of compassion and communication skills, in a desperate attempt to show I have strength, but my actions backfired badly on my mental health, and I've seen how my actions and words could affect others. I don't ever want put myself and other people in that place of darkness again. I don't want my words to hurt people. I'm growing to be a more positive, loving and savvy communicator, and your videos and words help me immensely on that journey, Thank you for being such an inspiring and loving teacher, Dan! Lots of love.
Nayram, you have just made my month! And remember--you'll have plenty of opportunities to demonstrate the loving and mindful side of your nature as time goes on. The key is to learn from your mistakes, but not beat yourself up over them. It sounds to me as though you are truly heading in the right direction.
Always love to hear your perspective Dan on communication. Been following you for years
Thank you, Daniel! I appreciate you taking the time to tell me that!
This could not have been put any better Dan, you explain things so well!
Thank you, Emilia.
I wished I would have met you 20 years ago. Thank you for teaching the community how to better articulate.❤
I do agree with everything you said. I like that part where you said whenever you're in a situation of darkness, do not cast more darkness ... instead, cast more light, love or understanding and change the world. We should all remember that and make our world a better place. Thanks Dan and we need to hear and listen from you more often. Love, kudos and wish you more success.
Many thanks, T. Fern.
Dan you are truly an inspiration for so many of us who seem to have such difficulty communicating properly. I could spend hours watching your videos, I even take notes! Just ordered your books and I’m looking forward to learning so much more😊. Would love to see more content on social settings rather than in the workplace so much. Keep posting!!!
Social settings--will do.
Always such great advice Dan! Thank you! I can’t get enough of your wisdom!!
I have learned through your videos, to respond and not react. I’ve always struggled with this, so thank you Dan!
We all struggle with it, Bambina. Every single one of us.
Another suggestion I've heard is that Will could have stood up, walked over and kissed Jada's shaved head. That would have been a very sweet moment. But if you're already walking up to the stage then I like your response, Dan.
Yes, I agree, J. That would have been a great teachable moment :)
That would've been so beautiful ❤️
Chris Rock needs an award for keeping his professional position. I thought I saw Chris make eye contact with him and reassuring him he would stop. Chris seemed to get there was more going on in Smiths mind, something deeper.
I'd give Chris Rock a medal for withstanding that slap. It wasn't a love tap.
Chris Rock using the Dan O’Connor power stance-relaxed, hands behind his back. Powerful!
Chria did not react because he almost killed his bully as a kid snd was traumatised as a result. Both men victims of childhood trauma.
OMGosh! I love the saying, "the opposite of weakness is not strength, it's Love". I've never heard that before. I'm going to remember that forever!! Thank you for your wisdom 🙏♥️
You're so welcome, Susan.
Will Smith’s response was strange. One moment he was laughing at what Chris Rock said about his wife and then he hit him in the next instant. Whether this was staged or not, it was strange and reflects poorly on his character. Thank you for a wonderful video! Your insights were spot on.
You're welcome K Bear.
He did it because he saw the look of disapproval she gave him about the comment and his initial reaction to it, so he went completely opposite in order to gain her acceptance of him and to please her, likely out of fear for the result he would suffer at displeasing her
I agree with Dan on all of his observations. Will's actions showed he was only thinking of his own emotions, not his wife's. This is a perfect example for why it's important to be prepared for situations that trigger our emotions - as Will Smith actively studies Sadhguru, who teaches how to respond rather than react. He even had Sadhguru visit his home where he met his children. Will has the basic knowledge but it STILL happened. Knowledge is only useful if it's properly used.
Yes, Will not only brought attention to the situation, but he embarrassed himself and his entire family. He was definitely only focused on his own personal emotions, not his wife's alopecia, or her feelings. Chris obviously did not know, and obviously did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings.
Spot on, Avmedic.
This was a very profound video. It is so easy to forget light/love always wins and resort to casting darkness. I really needed to hear this. Thank you for your wonderful content!
You are welcome, Janis.
The 3 questions to pose to self before speaking; "Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want?", are vital. Thank you Dan. I will be watching this presentation several times.
Thanks for your support, Emay. And please look for more videos on topics such as these.
It's so hard to practice but so necessary. I have teen kids and so I get to practice responding rather than reacting daily!! But I believe Dan I have learned so much from your works. Thank you and ❤️ love!! I love your saying " light always wins over darkness"
Many thanks, Jeanne Marie.
Ka-boom! Ka-pow!
Holy Moly Dan. Your notification came on and it was just what I needed to hear.
Thank you for your lessons. ❤️
Well then SPREAD THE WORD, Shannon Beth.
What a positive message! Thank you for sharing 🙏🏾
You are so welcome, Kelly.
Dan, your observations are very right-on. I observed the same items discussed in your video, especially the cold display of empathy. There's a clip of him celebrating at an afterparty where his music was being djayed with him in the center of a crowd of people who were cheering and worshipping him; with his academy award in his hand held to the ceiling while lip syncing to his songs. There was zero display of conscience.
I was shocked to see that he would even feel comfortable showing his face after the incident and would want to go straight home from embarrassment.
He made Chris look like the bad guy in his acceptance speech and didn't take accountability for his actions...Bascially called Chris the devil & in essence was blaming Chris for his behavior.
As far as Jada, there was a clip upon her arrival heading to her dressing room with her stating, "she didn't care if anyone made fun of her head tonight" in a sassy manner as if she sensed Chris would make a joke about her head.
Alopecia is not some terminal disease and there are treatments available to reverse the hair loss. Although, I do emphasize with the affects one experiences with their appearance.
In summary, they both appear to be disconnected from reality, self-centered and like attention. Will appearing as a borderline sociopath & Jada an over-the-top diva.
This was a huge historical night for Will and the family, a night to be celebrated and enjoyed. You would think that they would be in such high spirits with an attitude of love & joy that no "darkness" would put my light out that night, that nothing is going nor can ruin this one amazing night". Nothing but fun would have been on my mind. I would have be in such of an appreciative mindset and appreciation would have been the order for that day.
Sociopathatic individuals are overlooked because many of them exude charm. I highly encourage others to educate themselves on the characteristics of people with such behaviors to prevent from becoming a vulnerable target.
Sometimes we have to stop taking ourselves & life too serious and need to be able to chill out and laugh at ourselves and learn to be your best friend rather than a torturing antagonist towards ourselves with excessive self-consciousness.
Btw....you know how some have nicknames for their assets such as cars, etc. Well, my nickname for my phone became..drumroll.... Dan😁....
I have been watching your videos religiously at work, home...24/7 for the past 2 weeks....they are a healer.
The other day while at home I had a panic moment because I thought I misplaced or lost my phone. The first thought that subconsciously came to my mind in that panic moment was, "Where's Dan!!?"...while frantically tearing my room apart to find my phone...aka Dan..it just rolled off my tongue so naturally🤣.
Hi Dan!!! I just "stumbled upon" your videos the other day and I want to say they are wonderful and just what I needed after a recent "event" that I completely mishandled... I have been trying to overcome my rare but devastating tendency to jump from "event" to "reaction" and your videos , including this one, have help me immensely. I am learning what to do in that "sliver of time" and your videos are giving me the guidance I need. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
One question: do you have a video that explains more about "cost/benefit"? After what I have watched of your communication training and after the bad experience I had the other night , I have a pretty good idea of how to do that, but I am really gaining SO much from your videos I would like to see that. I will continue to search through your videos for content that will continue to help me shine light into the darkness!
Jimmy, I'm going to answer your question about cost/benefit in one of my next three videos.
@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you very much Dan for your response and for all you do presenting these videos , they are really helping and I'm looking forward to all your new ones!
Well done. You have given dignity to each person involved, while providing a concise and appropriate means for us all to learn from their encounter.
Thanks for that assessment, Tamara. Bashing is never good, but learning is, right?
Great comment! You described it perfectly.
Thank you Dan, I love your take on this, still I don't understand why Jada did not speak up for herself or use the opportunity for a teaching moment.
Madeline, I think she was upstaged by a little Ugga Ugga.
Loving this video. Will try and us at work. I'm a school dinner lady. I see part of my job as trying to give our year 3 & 4 the skills to deal positively with negative emotions and situations.
Hi Dan. Been invested in your channel for a while now. I’ve been using the broken record technique as well as the “That may be but” as well. I’ve found that these are great communication methods for dealing with difficult people…
New subscriber here. I am sharing this video to everyone I know 😂💗! Illuminate!!! I had the unfortunate experience of watching the Oscar's with my 90 year old mother. Will Smith's behavior was unsettling at the least. Yuck moment! Thank you for the content, I have lots of vids to catch up on!
Welcome, Susan, and I hope you catch up on more vids and continue that sharing! I can imagine that your 90-year-old mother was baffled by such behavior, and probably thought it was staged. The fact that it continued and we were treated to a tirade of ugly words accompanied by mugging didn't help.
I love your Chanel and watch mostly all your videos. Thanks for great content. Very useful for myself and also my 16 years old who’s been constantly bullied at school.
Just a request, because English is not my first language and sometimes it’s hard to understand because you speak fast, i would appreciate if speak slower.
Thanks again for your great works.
What I have learned (the hard way) is responding to a horrible situation immediately is never good. Now when people insult, antagonize, demean or hurt me my answer now is silence... no response at all. I address it later and I normally start with.."Its truly disappointing to me that..." I lean in and I never break eye contact. I also do it in private.
Sounds like a good and a mindful and an effective approach.
@@TheWizardOfWords I learned it from you Dan. What I find using that specific technique is that people with the loud bark in public are very intimidated when you confront them in private. My boss is now sick of the phrase "that may be but" (rinse, repeat). It is so effective. Happy Holidays to you and your Dan
haha, many thanks, Andrea. Happy Holidays to you as well.
BTW, I've been following you for YEARS! Thank you, Dan!
You're more than welcome Frederick, and thanks for the following. :)
Thank you Dan you are so cool !!! Thank you so much for all of your videos they are so helpful,
I am delighted.
My pleasure, Black King. And many more videos to come.
You are an amazing communicator and full of light💫 thank you Dan!
Thank you, Regina, and I hope you share these videos.
Such great insights and analogies. Chris Rock also has a learning disability / is neuro-divergent (or whatever the correctly woke phrase is these days 🙄) AND chris too, had already talked in interviews about difficulties reading social cues that it causes. (He described it as a milder form of Asperger’s)
Therefore If Chris *should’ve known better* - then Will *should’ve known better* why Chris wouldn’t.
Or is one Disability more worthy than the other? Who gets to decide that? Will Smith is a hot pile of privileged NOPE from that perspective also. Pure hypocrisy.
Where is Ricky Gervais when I need him. 🤍
Say, good idea--I'm going to google Ricky Gervais. I may not agree with what he says all the time, but I generally find myself laughing out loud nonetheless. And speaking of people who were not particularly "mindful" when hosting and roasting :) :). Yet no one saw fit to knock his block off.
@@TheWizardOfWords
ruclips.net/video/n6Kzom_OTh8/видео.html
When I first heard his philosophy on how he builds a jokes - is when I finally “got” him and could lift my chin off the floor and just laugh without worrying.
There’s another clip where he says something to the effect of: would have steered clear of hair jokes… because I would have gone in much harder, and straight for the “entanglement” instead.
(I think the way she did a dramatic reveal party for that to an audience - is what makes it fair game according to his formula.
I also think its where Chris Rock briefly considered going before taking the high road like a champ and refusing to be downed)
You’re right, Smith would not have punched Ricky Gervais even if he’d gone full cringe on entanglement up there . But Smith would not have punched anyone on a Denzel Washington level of the Hollywood elite either.
There’s some subjugation around the decision to do this to Chris Rock that is unsettling at the core Human Being level, and was about power and “othering”.
Shuttup court jester! You’re not actually one of us.
@@TheWizardOfWords
Oh here ya go Horses Mouth.
ruclips.net/video/6-rDvhfgfQ4/видео.html
😂💝
I do not like the word neuro-divergent, or neuro-atypical.....Chris Rock is on what is called the Autism Spectrum, both my eldest boys are on the spectrum as well ....my eldest has texture and sensory issues, while my middle son displays the social cues and physical space area. Chris Rock has found the outlet that allows him to be himself through comedy. It is unfortunate that he made the comment he did, however, Dan is 100 percent right ...you don't throw more darkness to fight darkness.
I enjoyed this cunning, expert analysis!
This is very much along the lines of
The Charlie and Ben Podcast
(The guys from Charisma on Command)
Taking a psychological approach to understand what happened rather than merely seeing and trying to justify everything from a superficial surface level.
I don't know Charlie and Ben, but I hope you've placed me in good company, radfoo. I try to understand and learn from the people and things in my life. There are enough people out there judging based on artificial rules and laws handed down by mystery people. The world doesn't need one more judge.
Love your videos Dan. So glad I found you! Very much needed! 😊
Thanks Joel A and welcome aboard.
Hi Dan,
Two years ago, I was losing my hair due to an illness. I thought deeply about what I could do, as I did not like, the way I looked. I considered several options, wearing a headcover, or trimming my hair close to the skin. I decided on trimming my hair close to the skin to reduce hair in places other than my head, and wearing a hat if I felt uncomfortable being asked why I have such short hair. However, as I became more comfortable with my short hair, I decided not to cover it but smile at the staring folks. This is my interpretation: if Jada did not want attention on her head/hair, she had a choice of covering it. She exposed it at such a highly attention-giving event for no other reason than to say, " Look at me, I am gorgeous even without hair." I agree with your assessment of Will's behaviour. This can be a wonderful opportunity to address mental health through the lens of intersectionality.
Thanks for your thoughtful words, Tessa, and for sharing how you handled a hair-loss problem. And I totally agree that it appears that Jada was not embarrassed at all, but rather was making a statement--a statement that very very few people could make . . . .
I'm so grateful to come across dan. Thank you universe 😊
Several times a day I thank the universe. God. My parents--etc. etc. :)
I'm glad I watched your video on this. I was in the complete mindset that Will was defending his wife. I was not seeing any other angle. You have opened my mind to a whole different way of thinking on it. I agree with your suggested ways to handle the situation. Thank you for that.
I still think that all comedians really need to think about their material before they present it though. Rude jokes used to only be done at a roast event and it is expected..whereas now, comedians make rude jokes in any venue towards anyone without much thought beforehand.
Anyway, thank you for helping me understand my flawed thinking (about how Will responded) and highlighting far better ways to respond in those situations. Love your videos.
You killed me when you said " God puts it in your hands" 🤣🤣
I hope you recovered, Eleni :) :) :)
@@TheWizardOfWords I did eventually 😀
Rings as utterly true.
Brilliantly said.
You can’t cast out darkness with darkness.
It reminds me of a vintage movie, War of the Roses.
The darker the female became the darker Michael Douglas threw back until they killed one another.
Such a heathy way of looking at negativity, as a learning and growing experience.
It reminds me the Chinese symbol meaning crisis equals opportunity.
Light cast out darkness. Beautiful. 🦋
Dan, this is much needed. Thank you!
You're welcome, Viv.
This is the best take I have heard on this whole situation. Love it.
EXCELLENT As ALWAYS!!!
Thanks, Amanda :)
You are really great, Dan. I appreciate your wisdom, humor and personality.
Thanks much, TJ :) :)
“The opposite of weakness is love”
Amazing insight from this unfortunate instance. Thank you.
I believe "The opposite of weakness is love." Absolutely.
You’re amazing!! I can’t tell you how much I’ve gained in listening to your sessions! There aren’t enough speakers like you!
Thanks, Amy. And if you want to do a deep dive into my training, go to danoconnortraining.com and check it out.
My Guru Dan,
Thank you for the video.
Either the situation is real or Oscar ACT. To add whatever you said, keeping silence will also show one's strength (if one is really a strong person) in some situations. would like to read your response.
Totally agree that there can be strength in silence. Absolutely. Silence should never be mistaken for weakness. Silence CAN be weakness, of course, if it comes from fear--e.g. when people witness bullying--REAL BULLYING and do not stand with the victim (though standing next to a victim without saying a word can be quite effective). Silence can be weakness when it comes from a politician that doesn't dare go up against someone doing harm to the polity. But silence can also mean strength--when it is given as a considered response to someone who is not worthy of one word coming out of your mouth. There are many instances where silence rules, in my opinion :)
I really agree with the you!
OK--and always tell me when you don't :)
Such a wise man-
thank you! 🙏
When the universe speaks, Jenn--I just try to listen. :)
Wow!! This is spot on very valuable information. Thank you for this video. You have shed a lot of light in this dark issue we all tend to struggle with as humans
Thank you for helping process this because - I will never get over the shock of Will smacking Chris!!! What in the actual heck is going on in the world?! :)
The opposite of weakness is love! Wow!
That’s so insightful 👍🏻
DAN,
Where do I even begin.
I guess I should start out by explaining how much you've changed my life, in an extremely positive way. I began obsessively listening to your videos at the start of the Pandemic.
Because your advice has completely transformed the ways in which I communicate, I felt compelled to share these videos with anyone who may benefit.
I own a hair salon in Providence, RI
When I hear a client is dealing with a communication issue, I almost always refer them to watch your videos, Ill even go as far as to select one that perfectly relates to their current situation and text the video link to them, everything from how to deal with difficult people, to your advice on going for an interview. Many of them HAVE taken the time to watch your videos.
It baffles me that you aren't more popular (Imean, it does and it doesn't🙄)
I want you to be able to reach even more people with your content.
How are you, the only person who gets it!? Not only that by you can articulate everything so well..
Lol anyway Im not trying to blow smoke ...
I had a thousand more things i wanted to say, especially about this video in particular but its late and tired.
Would you be willing to email me?
...it would honestly make my day💗
if you prefer, I can send you voice clips as a means of communication or some other way(I believe you mentioned you prefer video messages)
I should also note, that I've been bald for the last 3 years. Its very easy to put myself in Jadas shoes.
I would love to expand more on this video imparticular.. I feel like yours is the ONLY channel on youtube who's take I agree with and respect.
-Candice
Chatnoir425@gmail.com
Please email me, I would love to chat
Should have done this a while ago... joined your channel tonight 🙌
I went to your online shop, but you're all out of slayer hoodies!!! 😭
Candice, thank you for those kind words. I just sent an email to you suggesting you consider joining the beta testers who are going to be collaborating with me on my upcoming course and book.
This is so good! Great video. I'm going to share it!
Please do! I would appreciate it.
Many thanks for another great video. Your teachings have been very helpful to me. Love 💓 and peace from Ontario Canada 💕
Love and peace to you from Ajijic, MX and Saint Paul, MN, AmberK.
Genius philosophical thinking! Thank you, really helpful!
Thank you MNorbert. My thinking pretty much flows from the eight principles I consider paramount in leading a true, ordered, loving life.
Wow I really like your RUclips. Glad I found it !
Welcome aboard!
I love your videos I need to learn this and plan on joining soon
Great. Happy to help you on your communication journey.
Thank you so much for this...
You're more than welcome, Lisa.
I ❤️ you Dan!
Lots of love and light back at you, Lourdes.
I've been waiting for Dan's take on Will Smith's actions at the Oscars!
So what do you think, Anne?
Dan you are awesome!
Uhhhhh, thanks, Renee.
A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool's mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. Proverbs 18:6-7 ESV
You can say that again.
Appreciate your comments
Likewise, Nadine :)
I've watched this video several time. Not because I didn't understand it, but because I th was just packed with wisdom 🌌
Thank you, Savina.
I wish I could fight or flee-I usually freeze like a deer in headlights. 😖
Good analysis.
Thanks, Fred.
Well said! Loved it❤️✨✨✨
I love the darkness. I too live in the country. As I walk down dark hallways or roads , I can perceive the nocturnal animals and bc of lack of light, I cal feel the lack of people and space around me. I can look up and see the crystalline stars high above me on a clear night.
Battles aren’t battles at all. See them as different processes. Adjust my sails. Again.
Love you
I like this advice very much. Thank you. I did notice that Jada was not covering her head with a wig or a turban, but appeared to be showing boldness with a very high fashion look.
Yes, exactly, Kim.
It is not possible to look at a person who is self centered, full of greed, and put you or your pets or family in danger. For example, I have two small rescue dogs. One is only ten pounds. I regularly see people not following the leash law, not willing to leash their pet claiming they are fine, when my dogs get nervous claw my side when barking, and if approached urinate on my clothing....thanks to this person's actions. How could you love this.....?
You love the person; you don't always love his/her actions.
This sounds pretty but is utter bs when dealing with malignant people, with personality disordrered people, with sadists, with psychopaths...
Not every person is truly founded in and full of only love & innocence!
Some individuals need to be avoided as a matter of life & death.
Some individuals will actially kill you or even worse, seek to crush and destroy you!
Larasita, I'm going to assume you're new to this channel. Time and again I have made the point throughout my videos that communication training is not the answer for one who is dealing with truly abusive or psychotic people. It is the answer, however, for dealing with "difficult people"--you know, the average challenging person we deal with every single day. Big huge difference. Dangerous, abusive, psychotic people must be avoided at all costs; in other words, give the relationship what it deserves--distance. Of course I agree with you on that point. However, that does not mean the abusive, psychotic person is therefore not born of love--that they cannot be redeemed--that they are not lovable. It doesn't mean we treat them with lovelessness. All people have value, I believe, even if they themselves don't know it. So if you come across an abusive person that APPEARS to you to be loveless--wish that person well as you close the door on the relationship--and go.
You’re the best!!!
Thanks, Chicago guy!
Wow , very good explanation Dan.
Thanks, Karthi. It was something rife with communication education :)
Such a clever metaphor!
:)
I love the added physics perspective:)
She was laughing and their son tweeted "that's how we do it." Be alpha to your wifes boyfriend. ... pure dumpster 🔥 of people
Pretty harsh judgment, Crystal. I'm trying to keep focused on communication and learning, as much as possible.
your videos are amazing!
They are a lot of work, and I am happy you appreciate them!
@@TheWizardOfWords Thank you so much!
Dan, after reviewing the video of her reaction it showed her laughing after he slapped Chris Rick. She was very pleased with what Will Smith did. However, just a few days later she has once again thrown her husband to the wolves stating basically it was on him.
And we are probably not too shocked by this . . . .
Thanks
My apologies for missing this a year ago, Tutifruti. Thank you so much.
General question on people with diagnosed (or undiagnosed) personality disorders, such as psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), who are not capable of love or empathy. Trying to get them to understand those concepts is impossible, so how do the rest of us respond to those types of people who do such things as Will Smith & Jada did?
People with disorders that make them dangerous--e.g. psychopaths or physical/psychological abusers are to be avoided at all costs. No communication technique or stance or posture or attitude--no words--will bring about a good result with these people. Give those relationships what is needed--namely distance. The idea, Kimberly, is for you to understand and practice empathy--and for you to act with love. By your example, those people who are capable of love and empathy will be inspired. I truly believe this is what we are all called to do--to learn--and to love--not to teach or change other people. My teachings focus on YOU and how you can navigate the waters. They do not focus on changing or eliciting love from others--except by your example, of course. In the bargain I teach you how to handle difficult people--the difficult people that cross our paths every day. Bosses, friends, relatives, coworkers, children, etc. etc. Your garden variety difficult person. The goal is not to change them. The goal in that instance is to train them how to treat YOU. The focus is always on YOU. :) :) :)
It very cool as always Dan 👍🏻
Thanks 👍. But somehow I feel you're just a little biased, Jorge.
You're the best Dan.
Thanks, Dave, and I hope you take a moment to share a few of my videos so your friends can weigh in on that judgment. :)
@@TheWizardOfWords I already shared the video with my circle of friends. Keep up the good work Dan. You're a light shining very bright in these dark days.👍🏼🙏🏽🛐
She made no attempt to stop him. As a woman who has stopped several stupid man interventions she made no intervening interventions. Didn't grab his arm didn't run up behind him and whisper something. Plenty of things she could have done without totally embarrassing her husband but stopping him.
Yep.
That was not a mistake. Chris made the same.joke years back and Will warned him if he did it again he would smack him. He kept his word. Black people are not entertainment, our emotions are not entertainment as I feel everyone uses those people for. If you poke a bull you get the horns. Alot of people don't see how long Will has been poked with his wife at expense and I totally relate everyday these past 2 weeks someone has been trying to hurt me. Chris and Will forgave each other. I wish we wouldn't be like tmz and drag it out too. I think some people dont get u can say nice words all day and some people will still hurt you. It's crazy how the jokes have subsided a bit once he did physically make a stand for himself and his wife. Sometimes, if I did not punch my bully I would not have been left alone but thats my perspective and why I feel the way I do cuz how people have treated me. What most guys do, is let people make fun of their wife/girlfriend til they feel suicidal. The color thing is much heavier right now and it's frustrating because u feel no one listens, there's no such thing as good or bad, only thinking makes so. I don't think he did a bad thing, maybe people will understand later when they're in a similar situation. I wish people would b more empathetic towards one another specially now.
Jael, I hear you. However, when you respond to words with punches, you lose. Whether you are black, white, pink or green--you lose.
I agree with you. Thanks so much ❤️
Thanks for watching, and you are welcome, mar9belle.
very interesting. Fortunately i never watch the Oscars. Hollywood is a sewage. But useful advice, you can't cast out darkness with more darkness
Thanks, columkenn. It was my goal to use this Oscar business to reinforce teachings--not to create a buzz :) :)
Dan, I know you’re right, but I don’t want to respond with love. Ugh! These lessons from the universe aren’t always fun!
Dan, can you address what Will Smith should do now that he’s made a big mistake? Also, how should Chris Rock address the situation?
I would advise Will Smith to start by talking to his son Jaden, who tweeted "And that's how we do it" or something to that effect. I would advise him to apologize to his son and explain that what he showed by his tantrum was weakness, not strength. And I'd recommend that he go see Chris Rock in person and say the same thing, provided he means it. From that point on, I would advise him to show the world by his example that he is a man of character and compassion--no more public apologies designed to make the entire thing go away. I'd advise him to spend the rest of his life teaching by example. Perhaps he should just be the person he'd like us to think he is--strong and loving. So far he's teaching the world something far different. And as for Chris Rock--if I were he I would drop the entire matter and once again--show the world who he is by being loving at every opportunity--even in his jokes--and put a period on this entire episode. BTW, you can be cutting and edgy in humor, if that's your job. That is not being loveless. It's being funny.
I thank you for your analysis; but I do not agree in something: I think what destroyed the atmosphere of the Awards was not the “physical violence” but the “bulling”. It sounds to me that we are very much used to accept others making “jokes” about physical problems or illnesses of others, without empathyzing with those refereed persons; moreover, we see someone slaping the face of his “friend” and immediatly react like “ohh, THIS was wrong”. I am not sayign one should reply violence with violence, but I think the first was in all respects worse than the later!
MV, I am absolutely not now--nor would I ever--condone bullying. However, this video just happens to deal with the response to the comments, more than the comments themselves. I hope you watched the entire video because I stated--and believe--we have to be uber-mindful of all infirmities suffered by people, and do what we can to raise awareness and therefore compassion. Mocking is never funny--even at awards shows. I totally agree with you M V and thank you for making the point.
My take: Jada is extremely jealous of Will's success. When he is celebrated, Jada goes dark with passive aggressive jealousy. When the joke was made Will thought oh no Jada gonna take this out on me F__< ME!!!...
So, wait, we won’t get to slap nor even strangle disrespectful people? Awww man! I’m just kidding, don’t worry.
From the small bit I can discern from irregularly observing the Smith’s public life, the wife seems to be pining for attention and connection from her spouse. Thus the unfortunate infidelity that made much recent talk, and the disgusted eye roll when her spouse initially laughed at the joke. I think you’re absolutely right, Dan, that Will Smith was trying to demonstrate as extremely as possible that he was publicly on his wife’s side. That explains why she showed approval after the unusual display he suddenly performed. It’s all a sad thing to see. But, I strongly disagree that was a pattern for Will, because no one could or ever has said he acted that way before-the opposite- they say it was shockingly out of character for him. Besides, patterns don’t come off that awkward and shocking. The only pattern it may possibly arguably be was a feeling of helplessness and anger he repeats internally when his family is constantly publicly criticized that suddenly got the best of his clearly weakened hold on the reality of his external environment in that instance.
And, I just laughed so, so much at Dan repeating ‘Ma bald head’ 50 times in this video. Omg how I laughed at the silly accent used there. I feel so bad for the fiasco involving that troubled family, that’s just a mirror of a deeply troubled industry which is negligent in protecting too many of it’s participants. It’s all just too much for me. Sigh.
HabitualLover, you believe this was not part of a pattern and stated "No one could or ever has said he acted that way before." I think Paul Rodriguez would beg to differ.
@@TheWizardOfWords Paul who? Links please! 🐸☕ Curious YT watchers would like to know.
I have no tears for Jada or Will. 'Intelligence' did nothing to mature either of them as human beings.
amethyst, I just want to see what communication lessons we can learn from this experience. Judging them or anyone else as human beings is way beyond my pay grade.
No one knows what was going through his mind but himself you were putting thoughts in Wills head It's impossible to be objective we are human and all of it's imperfections that come with being human including yourself . Although you do have some good advice for people who may already have the emotional and mental ability to practice your philosophy
You're right, Danney. I don't know exactly what Will was thinking, but on the other hand it is not irrational to draw a few conclusions based on how he was acting. These were not actions stemming from enlightened thought; that much I know with certitude.
@@TheWizardOfWords Bravo! 👏
I don't understand why they have begun hiring comedians to roast ppl at such an event. It's a whole night of slamming people who are there to celebrate their accomplishments. His statement shouldn't have been sd ever about her hair. I don't feel being insulted while receive an award even remotely go together.
You sort off look like Doctor Strange and Doctor strange is super Handsome
Well I am blushing. BTW, I have a small figurine of Dr. Strange on my desk; someone gave it to me because she saw the resemblance. And here I thought I was Ironman. Am I slipping or going up on the ladder?
@Online Communication Skills Training Courses seeee I'm not the only one who saw the likeness😅, and while Iron Man is admirable in his own right, there is always an infinite power beyond technology, and Dr. Strange is one of the influential figures to inherit such mystical abilities.
you are definitely at the top of the ladder.😄🙌
Well your theory does not work in a bullshit country like mine(in Eastern Europe) where if you react to mockery with kindness they will come to their senses... in these kind of countries darkness is fought by force not with mildness and peace....sadly. Why? Because that is the level of communication they understand.
Jozsi26, my training is not about making people come to their senses. It is about each of us approaching life with kindness and love. How people respond is up to them.
He was targeted. More going on behind the scenes.just a thought. Transform to understand that they build up then slam to control.
??? I have to confess, I don't get it, Jackie.
@@TheWizardOfWords I answered you.i sent it. They stoled my answer to you. It was long. People have been writing my books when they put me in jail with project blue beam in 2013. DP Goode State Police Oakwood AZ below Sedona az. Got to go lie down. Choosh, Ciow🛡️🛸🗺️😁🧐
Imagine how different it would've been if Will had this attitude: {Yes, my wife has alopecia, she's a very strong woman who is dealing with it in a positive way.} He would've actually liked that she was being compared to GI Jane, a very strong woman who was not defined by her looks or gender or hairstyle.
His behavior made it seem that he has a negative attitude about his wife having alopecia, and he was a very bad influence for others who have alopecia, and for their family members, making them feel like there's a reason to think about it negatively. He had the opportunity to be a good example for others, to show it in a positive light, but he did the opposite.
He could've stood up and said, "Yes, my wife IS like GI Jane, she has alopecia and is beautiful & strong." That would've been great for everyone affected by alopecia and other conditions! The audience would've likely given her a standing ovation.
Excellent, thoughtful post Avmedic. Totally agree. Now THAT would have been a strong statement, reflecting well on everyone concerned, including Will Smith.
Will effed up.
Yes, the question, HYCTD is what do we learn from the situation--right? What do we learn about COMMUNICATION--as opposed to gossip and who's stepping out on whom.