Idc if she has a point or not, but exposing ur loved one to the whole world and saying that he is of lower caliber (which i interpret it as “inferior”) is just plain rude bruh. What i dont understand is, she talks about how mindset, attitude and character are the most impt to her, yet she keeps yapping about her bf’s educational level and MONEY.
she has a point when her bf actually improve and work towards their future (or to keep up with her since she is dating downwards) but if her bf is not capable or wise enough to keep up to the standard i doubt the relationship will be so peaceful.
@@dumblechel21 i get you.. when you present unfavorable traits of your partner to the world without consenting him/her or for the sake of making a content for social media indicate that she priorities other things over the welfare of her bf. From relationship POV, it is very disrespectful. I may not be very supportive of what she do but if you go back to the part to see her mum's explanation for objecting their relationship. She may be brought up with this mentality..
I think it comes from a culture and upbringing thing, where she’s trying to rationalize going against what she has been taught and her peers? Or maybe she is just rude lol
I don’t see how she’s materialistic. It’s not weird to want a husband who is a provider. And you need money to survive so go ahead and call humans materialistic. Nonetheless, she’s horrible for publicising this aside from that
Why would you talk about your partner like this to the whole internet? Her man sounds like a great guy who deserves better than her. He should know that he doesn't have to be with someone who called him "lesser caliber". That's just plain rude and demeaning. From the guy's own video, he seems oblivious himself. But I hope he can realise one day. As for the girl, the fact that it took her this experience of "dating downward" to know that people of "lesser earning power/no degree" can be this good, says a lot more about her as a person. How about just being a decent human being? Gross all around.
@@mikegan9382 Look "good" on the surface. But I wonder what will happen to their relationship if the guy start struggling in his career/job. And, not living up to her "standard" in term of providing for an extended period of time.
Because she's trying to break the matrix brainwashing of dating up or down. Both are nonsense. The common one being up and so she is trying to resist the brainwashing but doing the opposite and the man needs to be the example in her crusade.
he's not a good guy, he's a fool. A man needs to be man, and he needs to choose a wife that will help him through his life, and not one that just sees him as a source of income.
This toxic mentality of dating up or down has existed many years ago. Being in a healthy relationship means having empathy and empowering each other, not putting each other down. Unfortunately some have relationships for all the wrong reasons and treat it as some power dynamic, increased social standing, FOMO, etc. This is precisely the reason why divorce rates are on an increasing trend. Remember, learn how to identify red flags and nip it in the bud before it festers and becomes a bigger headache down the road.
The moment he hits a hard spot that’s going to be messed up man. The gf only posts this now because the bf caught up. She just took the nearest boat until she sees a bigger boat. And “she is so gorgeous” just makes me feel like he is paying for the relationship. Poor dude is going to be played like a fiddle just because he is not of “noble blood”. On the small chance the GF is trying to defend her man in her social circle and say how good he is. This really isn’t the best way to write or say it. Could have started off with saying all the non materialistic traits, how they both went through good and bad times, and the other stuff she mentioned deeper into the posts. Going straight for “dating downwards” in the topic is like putting a sign on the ground to say there is no buried treasure there.
lmao. the chick is just humble bragging she had the foresight to date someone with a lower salary whom later worked hard in his career (thanks to her investment). Should have changed her title to "How to train your man to his fullest potential"
If he did not double his income and match her pay, would she still have posted about her relationship? It sounds kinda selfish and one-sided to let him pay for everything just because now he is earning the same as her. Relationship is a 2-way street and it is about give and take. Anyway, people can be dating doctors and lawyers and still be in a happy and fulfilling relationship. Just because anecdotally she dated downwards and she's happy doesn't mean that people who are dating upwards are unhappy. Actually they have very similar vibes - they are of the same caliber la! Maybe she's just hoping to go viral with a controversial post - I mean look at the deliberate way they posed for the picture, especially the guy's facial expression and I guess she has succeeded - so the joke's on us 😅
There is no such thing as dating downwards. If you date someone who doesn't make as much as you do or isn't as educated as you are then that person is on your level because you chose to be with that person. If you really thought that they were worth less than you wouldn't have chosen to be with them and you would have looked for someone else instead.
would have been more interesting if she 'dated downwards' and changed her own mentality to not spend so much and be satisfied with caipeng and genki sushi, instead of pressuring her bf to provide for her, and if she actually realized that money is not everything. instead of being so happy that she made her bf acclimatise to her high SOL and she now all the money to spend on all the crap she likes. i dunno. seems like the wrong takeaway.
@@yunababy525 But also a correct mindset because raising a family is no joking matter. A couple has to discuss bills, parental styles, credit, debt, religion, how to deal with family, what belief will be instilled in your children, individual childhood traumas (and how that translate to raising children), sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations. Btw, the list is not exhaustive.
@@yunababy525 its a sad mindset, but at the same time they do have a point. While I don't agree with the 10% love thing, money is a big issue when it comes to marriages. When you take on the new journey of marriage, this also includes the financial aspect too. Marriage literally brings the statement " what's mine is yours and what's mine is yours " to life. If you're not careful you could end up thousands in debt just because your partner is financially irresponsible. Please don't become naive because of this.
@@etherealdreamer1930 I'm married, so I know what marriage entails. Naive is when you believe everything will work out in time - of course it doesn't. That's why all relationships -whether married or not- is called work. You work in your marriage, you hash out everything including money, your needs and wants, everything before you begin a commitment. Everyone seems to forget that it takes hard work to make a marriage. It's not just financial aspects, it's also emotional - actually I would say it is MOSTLY emotional. You have to be emotionally strong to carry on with the troubles you have within the marriage, and also be emotionally stronger to commit. It's not just logistics. Yes, their point is valid, but I entirely disagree with the 90% income problem. If it is so, then everyone shouldn't be "dating down" to be happier. And this woman is advocating a very very silly mindset.
I get what she mean. But saying you are dating downwards is such a toxic way of saying things. You can just say "despite how much he earns, I love his personality then all is good". Saying you are dating downwards is like trying to manipulate the guy emotionally. I know she is not doing it on purpose. But I feel like it is kind of a form of emotional manipulation to make the guy feel inferior and in a way telling him that he can't get a woman better than you. And saying all this is really a bad advice for woman, woman should not date down because it is easier, this will make them become resentful if they are expecting some form of lifestyle but the BF cannot provide it, and this will become very toxic. They should date whoever they want, and don't make this like some sort of game to minmax relationship. I wonder if the guy's income didn't grow like how it did, will the author still be with him.
I think her point is love is more than just money, but she worded it SO BADLY, and the way she keep talking abt income & earning power...... Really just draws attention away from the point she's trying so hard to make. Maybe get her story checked by chatgpt first b4 posting? And the upward, downwards, sideway, what in the google maps direction.... It just shows that she not treating her partner as her equal. lmao, ultimately i feel she just made that very first post to show the world how good her love life is going on :-D it's really not that deep, she wasnt posting to give some love advice, she just wanted to show off HER love life.... Well, it's making me laugh 😅😅😅
There is some nuance in dating downwards for women, because what SG women want is to some degree is an attractive simp, because if he is like an attractive chad that has everything going for him Job, Car, Wealthy Family, he could have other physical traits Lean, Tall, Fair Complexion, then he may have too much power in the relationship as more SG women desire that hence he could bail out anytime, lets face it she may not be the prettiest one but there is also growing competition withing her social circle to find someone better for her to climb the social-ladder of her friend group, every SG woman wants to also have a trophy boyfriend to show her friends "this is my boyfriend, See i am happy, and you should be for me" If he didnt check all the boxes then hes less likely to be desired by other women so he is more likely to stay in the relationship or at least work things out. Not all SG women will end up with someone that they see in a K-Drama film, and i think women shld understand that early. Like she as mentioned in the video she has experience dating someone of higher status than her, most women in SG after they date upwards (Hypergamy) they dont wanna go back down, as they think relationships will get better and the guy MUST be better, to SG women every guy is like a Samsung or iPhone u only upgrade your phone never downgrade. Just remember every guy and woman is unique qualities and traits cannot be replicable between previous man or woman. A man may have these traits A, B and C, and if a woman decides to break up with him, she would expect the new guy to now have traits A,B,C and probably D and E because she wants an upgrade otherwise she may feel she is losing out, the paradox of choice lives with those in power when you are exposed to more choices in a dating app u always want to know if u have felt u made the right choice hence waiting to see every option. Its no surprise that marriage and birth rates are on the decline, more women are now into management fields, taking up degrees to earn more money and compete with men in more ways than one, hence they may feel they have a say in a relationship, our mothers/grandmothers were not as educated as our fathers as they may be more encourage to be home-makers or at least take up jobs that didnt require a demand for the type of education certificates presented. I still live by the truth that SG woman can always replace an SG man, because theres always a simp waiting to catch her when she falls, for the man its different you have to find a way to survive
Dating downward is not much a Western men's issue. It is more a Western women's concern. But in Asian families, they always push to date upward. Never downward. However the dating upward's expectation has a list of vanity, materialistic, and selfishness. It's hard to have a successful relationship with dating upward.
I think what she's trying to say is that dedication/ sincerity is more important than income. Which is actually positive, because so frequently when you hear people talk about their ideal partners they list off superficial traits (e.g. looks, height, wealth, status). Not that I really blame people for being superficial about money, as Singapore's such an expensive city to live in, but that's another topic. Commentors are pretty sensitive, she's isn't dissing him, she's simply stating that he used to make less than her; an insult would be saying if people of lower income are gross/ insert other negative adjectives.
Then calling it dating down is kind of unnecessary - even if it's a matter of fact. It's also a fact that dating down is taken negatively in a social context. It's like calling someone with a low IQ retarded, even if that is true in all accounts. Word choice is still equally important with context
@@AcediaRulerOfSloth Because he made less than she did, and that term is usually used with regards to "qualifications", i.e. your job title or income. I see a lot of folks mad with her for using this term, but it's not a new thing (I've been hearing this phrase for years, it isn't a recent Gen Z invention), and she did not invent the term.
@@purplepotato8849 i wonder if you watched the video cuz if you did, you wouldve known that isn't even the term's original meaning. Nowhere did it specify that calibre = income / job title.
Wah she really needs to get off her high horse. I know many people without degrees but are good family men. She seems to be too fixated on money and status, and her video speaks volumes about her character. It's as if she sees the value of her partner only in monetary terms. So, had he not been able to double his earning power within a year, despite being of good character, she would have thought lesser of him. This idea of dating down needs to go. I hope the best for them tho!
I do not think that she's speaking from a 'high horse' perspective at all. She is trying to be realistic with the fact that people do look at status / money when choosing partners, and her main point is to tell people to give it a try, even if they are not the 'ideal' partner. The mistakes she made are her wording "dating downwards", and revealing her/her bf identity.
Yes, talk about how personality is everything by basing their foundation on comparing on how much both of them earn, and still talk about how much they can spend now since he is earning more 👍👍👍 its great to date down
There is no upwards or downwards…..all are equal in love…..if there is even a notion of upwards downwards then this will creep up when couples quarrel….
good for them and I'm guessing she had good intentions for her video, but damn what type of friends does she have? When I started dating my gf, neither of us knew or bothered to ask about our finances or salary or whatever, none of my friends asked about it too. my parents also didnt give a single fuck, if we love each other that's all - and shouldn't that be the norm? Since when were relationships about money or education lol
So now that he earns more than her, he's basically dating downwards. So is she going to start paying for everything now like he did and try to double her income? With this whole dating downwards, subtly forcing him to pay for more expensive restaurants than Genki, and now enjoying the fruits of having him earn more than her, it almost sounds like she was grooming him.
At least it seems like they are happy and all. But her point was kinda lame since. She basically said dating down was the right choice be it eventually became dating up. So.....
It is easy to bring others up if you yourself are high and powerful enough. So if you value overall compatibility in all areas rather than just status compatibility alone you can actually give yourself a wider dating pool to explore. After all Singapore is very small and too many people are too overly meritocratic and self serving if not outright jerks to begin with. Your life partner is to be with you for a lifetime. You might as well search more carefully and wisely for the right one instead.
I kinda get her point. She definitely didn't mean to shame her bf. Nowdays everyone has such crazily high standards in dating : good-looking, money, car, house, degree, wealthy family etc. She's trying to raise awareness that sometimes the best love you need does not necessarily come from all that.
Looks doesn’t put food on the table nor does it make you build a friendship. So looks are irrelevant since they fade anyway. She’s talking about education and money.
It's difficult for a Malaysian Chinese like me to date a Malaysian Chinese girl since I only pass Spm. I think for moment now Malaysian Chinese girls prefer either Singaporean, Korean or Japanese men. It's because most capable ones have migrate to Singapore.
Nothing wrong here. Those two seem perfect for each other. They're not terribly sophisticated. One is in love with money, the other is in love with sex. It is as Darwinian as it gets. That said, it is worth pointing that the couple is young and they may evolve with time. Humans want different things during different times of their lives, and this seems developmentally appropriate for their age. I'd be more concerned if this keeps up till retirement age, where one is still obsessed with money while the other obsessed with sex. Most people want more companionship as they age and 'dating upward, downwards, or laterally' probably won't factor into their equations. I think what most people are uncomfortable about here is the cringe associated with the delivery of the message. They're not wrong about young people prioritizing money and sex, but they just went about it in a weird way. Try looking beyond that and you'd see quite a cute couple, well, at least to me.
Is this really surprising? It is just how a lot of women think when they're not sugar coating or being pc but has always been reflected in how they date. I'm a man, with a lot of female friends. I've heard about everything you can about how they view men. It is the nature of growing up in a patriarchal society that they expect you to live up to. Either when they met you, or the potential to rise above them. An "investment" as one in the video put it. I always share that even the most progressive EU countries have stigmas about stay at home dads. I want to be clear that not all women subscribe to it but it would be disingenuous to say a majority don't, especially in Asian society. The infamous "rather cry in the back of a BMW than happy on the back of a bicycle" saying came from us. Well more specifically said by women and never men. I'll paint two scenarios I've encountered commonly. Dated a girl for a while, lied I was having issues with money. She left soon after thinking she was "better than me". Another was with other successful women. I make good money too but if they made more they reactively deflated or wanted to help me make more than them (again referring to "potential"). It'll take real hard social shifts before men aren't expected to be providers in the same fashion women aren't expected to be the sole home maker.
Hello Yeolo if you can see this comment hopefully next time the quoted text can be smaller. hard to reach because it's too big on my screen and i have to read through letter by letter lol. cheers!
when u start with the terms - dating with the sport, it's already defeats the original intent of dating which is to find the best partner for the life ahead. so whether u date up , down or sideways doesn't really matter coz you already got the fundamental intent wrong
woman, when you're older and your wrinkles start to appear, you better make sure you match his caliber. so far bringing nothing to the table, pretty sure reality will hit you like a bag of bricks in a few years. tip, time flies ;)
Read some of her posts on Lemon8 and all I can say is... He deserves better. She is hyperfixated on a male partner having a "provider mindset" as a mandatory prerequisite, somewhat torn being wanting be a tradwife but also a girlboss which is unfathomable
I feel like a lot of Singaporeans just go around sizing everyone up and deciding their worth and then use that as a cudgel to hit other people over the head with. Don't like it.
You’re entire commentary made me laugh so much! ! My question to this lady is who TF even asked her for an explanation?!?! Because sis is trying to prove a point that nobody cares for.
People are so chronically online these days they even want to share their details of their dating life…Like what?If I was the guy I would be really fed up
my advise if your dating up guys just own the fact your not rich and dont be a try hard fake rich. Sure alot on the girls wont like you for that but some will which is better then the 0 girls that like you once they find out your faking it. Plus not wasteing money faking rich will help you get rich.
Hi Yeolo, I started to follow you because of your thoughts of the video about the girl that looks down on guy that bring her to lau pa sat and make that vomit sound. I agree with your thoughts. But this video i got a different opinion. From this video i learn that i am a downward guy. I am 40 years old now and drawing fresh graduates pay. It is very hard for downward guy like me to find a date here in singapore. I feel that she is speaking up for people like me and i think they are a happy couple. Just leave them alone and give them their blessings.
Tl;Dr, girl is dating competitively and sharing how dating in a lower elo (Gold and below) is better then dating in a higher elo (plat and above). Internet shames her for shaming her bf and now she claps back saying her bf ranked up (from gold to master to legend). The internet continues to shame her and she keeps clapping back.
She makes it sound like she’s unique about dating “down”. Like I don’t look for a partner based on their education and income, if we get along and are lifestyle is compatible then its fine. It’s not something I think most people think about. I don’t expect to be relying on a guy. We rely on each other
I think most women dont mind dating downwards, because there are so many other traits they consider (e.g empathy, faithfulness, how you make her feel..etc .)but the only thing that cannot be overlooked is height 😂
This is pretty simple, she's facing the backlash because she has over-shared her own thoughts and personal experiences with the whole friggin world and only a few who knows her understood her. I'm sure her own close group of friends and family will be able to agree with her more, in other words, setting her account private would have saved her from all that backlash. If people are really having problems with the terms she used, namely "dating up/downwards", then they need to ask themselves if they are hypocritical.
She's facing the backlash because she has altered the integrity of what love means to different people. Although she might think that there is nothing wrong with dating guys for their looks or money, there are also people who date because of the experiences they've been through and their true affection for their partner. Because the latter situation is rare, people who doesn't experience such love always deem those as "fairytale." In addition, the advent of dating apps, people now look for their partner based on materialistic things as finding a replacement is so easy and accessible. With these two distinct perspectives on relationships, there will always be haters when one side is vocal about their stance. I favour the latter institution of finding someone because of the experiences and affection we have for that person, so I can see why others who favour the same are so critical of her. She is trying to put on the facade of "find true love instead of money," but the whole topic in her post revolves around money, which is very contradictory. It almost feels like she's just flexing about her dating a simp who eventually turned successful.
To me, it sounds like she decided to want to break up with him many years ago but hasn't found "the upgrade" yet so she's trying to justify staying with him for now (a behaviour known as "branching").
Not only let me make you feel like absolute crap by constantly reminding you I'm dating downwards, let me also post it online for millions to see. Given that option I rather die alone .
Yes, the only difference know is that they don't take being a wife, girlfriend and mother seriously anymore. At least in the past she would try to be a good girlfriend, wife and mother
As a man, chai png is all we eat(consider luxury already), the worst is Maggie after bringing gf out. But we won't share that we eat that, because man. Or Girl: babe can I borrow $350? I need to do something important, I promise will return you. Me: ok sure. (Behind the scenes, eat maggi for 2 weeks).
Being of caliber or not is a choice. No one stays stagnant. That means high caliber people can go downwards too. And low caliber people can climb up. And the final equalizer is we all die at the end, so what is the point of all this narcissistic self importance. Work hard and be a good person that is good to other people is more important in life than this nonsense.
what works for a couple may not work for another couple. If this downward upward sideway thing is working for this particular couple then good for them. Anyways its fun to have stories like this to watch lol
i am not dating, the competition is pretty tight right now and its quite stressful. There are alot of handsome men and available attractive women that want these handsome men. I am just working and saving money so that i can survive in the long run. and women and men shldnt publicly say they are "dating down" , its very rude, but i guess when u have too many options u can say anything these days
I don't see anything wrong with her original post about "dating downwards" except for the fact that she is openly blunt and tactless online, publicly. Personally I think that a lot of asians discuss about our/others partners income when it comes to compatibility, albeit behind closed doors / private setting. She's probably a gen-z so yeah, these are the times we are in now. Nothing to hide.
y'all dating downwards upwards or sideways?
forward laa
z-axis
Diagonal
upside down
what date? 🤣
Idc if she has a point or not, but exposing ur loved one to the whole world and saying that he is of lower caliber (which i interpret it as “inferior”) is just plain rude bruh.
What i dont understand is, she talks about how mindset, attitude and character are the most impt to her, yet she keeps yapping about her bf’s educational level and MONEY.
she has a point when her bf actually improve and work towards their future (or to keep up with her since she is dating downwards) but if her bf is not capable or wise enough to keep up to the standard i doubt the relationship will be so peaceful.
you don't even have to interpret it since "lesser" literally translates to "inferior" but what do I know.
@@randyp8856i know she may have a point, my point is that the way she worded herself when talking about this topic is so bad 😭
@@dumblechel21 i get you.. when you present unfavorable traits of your partner to the world without consenting him/her or for the sake of making a content for social media indicate that she priorities other things over the welfare of her bf. From relationship POV, it is very disrespectful.
I may not be very supportive of what she do but if you go back to the part to see her mum's explanation for objecting their relationship. She may be brought up with this mentality..
I think it comes from a culture and upbringing thing, where she’s trying to rationalize going against what she has been taught and her peers? Or maybe she is just rude lol
She’s the definition of materialistic girl and the guy is a definition of a simp. Perfect for each other, until she found someone more rich.
it would be funny if its a guy from the "big 3 mnc" lmao whatever these 3 exactly are
why does your comment sound like a poem
@@gerunkwon2598 it really does lol
I don’t see how she’s materialistic. It’s not weird to want a husband who is a provider. And you need money to survive so go ahead and call humans materialistic. Nonetheless, she’s horrible for publicising this aside from that
Or more willing to hand all his earnings to her
She says money isn’t impt but everything is about money to this woman. Every analogy, example, expectations to life is money, money and more money
to her its money money money and to him he tries to make it about love it's so sad. free my boy
The guy improved so much in one year...but did she also improve that much in the same period of time? The guy could now be the one dating downwards.
Why would you talk about your partner like this to the whole internet? Her man sounds like a great guy who deserves better than her. He should know that he doesn't have to be with someone who called him "lesser caliber". That's just plain rude and demeaning. From the guy's own video, he seems oblivious himself. But I hope he can realise one day. As for the girl, the fact that it took her this experience of "dating downward" to know that people of "lesser earning power/no degree" can be this good, says a lot more about her as a person. How about just being a decent human being? Gross all around.
i pity the guy......
@@mikegan9382
Look "good" on the surface. But I wonder what will happen to their relationship if the guy start struggling in his career/job. And, not living up to her "standard" in term of providing for an extended period of time.
Because she's trying to break the matrix brainwashing of dating up or down. Both are nonsense. The common one being up and so she is trying to resist the brainwashing but doing the opposite and the man needs to be the example in her crusade.
he's not a good guy, he's a fool. A man needs to be man, and he needs to choose a wife that will help him through his life, and not one that just sees him as a source of income.
Its a 'humble brag'
This toxic mentality of dating up or down has existed many years ago. Being in a healthy relationship means having empathy and empowering each other, not putting each other down. Unfortunately some have relationships for all the wrong reasons and treat it as some power dynamic, increased social standing, FOMO, etc. This is precisely the reason why divorce rates are on an increasing trend. Remember, learn how to identify red flags and nip it in the bud before it festers and becomes a bigger headache down the road.
Should return to arranged marriages and only eat at hawker centers like real people
5:46 mother only realises he’s the best now cause he has doubled his earning power or what
The moment he hits a hard spot that’s going to be messed up man.
The gf only posts this now because the bf caught up. She just took the nearest boat until she sees a bigger boat.
And “she is so gorgeous” just makes me feel like he is paying for the relationship.
Poor dude is going to be played like a fiddle just because he is not of “noble blood”.
On the small chance the GF is trying to defend her man in her social circle and say how good he is. This really isn’t the best way to write or say it.
Could have started off with saying all the non materialistic traits, how they both went through good and bad times, and the other stuff she mentioned deeper into the posts.
Going straight for “dating downwards” in the topic is like putting a sign on the ground to say there is no buried treasure there.
Yup I think speaks volumes about the supreme quality of parenting these kids had ahah
Let’s not be ridiculous. No mother wants their daughter to date a poor man. None.
@@VBoo459cope
After he revealed himself.... ya they deserve each other...
big mood, lol 😭
I know right💀💀
Her: "MONEY MONEY MONEY STATUS STATUS STATUS"
Him: "Cringe"
Love the subtle dig at her pronunciation of “basically” at 10:51
omg I didn't even realize 🤡
One seems manipulative, and the other one seems delulu. I am genuinely curious how would their relationship would turn out in 10 years time.
dont need 10 years. 6months can do a review lolol
Maybe happily in love being idiots together. The longer they stay together, the longer they're out of the dating pool.
I hope they don't have kids.
Bro got hold at gun point LOL
lmao. the chick is just humble bragging she had the foresight to date someone with a lower salary whom later worked hard in his career (thanks to her investment). Should have changed her title to "How to train your man to his fullest potential"
You really think a man is a slave or something for training.
Sounds like an anime title 💀lmao
Friends, please be fucking normal 😭 what is dating downwards, be so fucking forreal rn
There is no such thing as dating downwards
Society raised by the need to rate everything lol.
its not a new thing tbh, I think it was called "settling" in the past. There was a whole HIMYM episode on it 10+ years ago.
If he did not double his income and match her pay, would she still have posted about her relationship? It sounds kinda selfish and one-sided to let him pay for everything just because now he is earning the same as her. Relationship is a 2-way street and it is about give and take.
Anyway, people can be dating doctors and lawyers and still be in a happy and fulfilling relationship. Just because anecdotally she dated downwards and she's happy doesn't mean that people who are dating upwards are unhappy.
Actually they have very similar vibes - they are of the same caliber la!
Maybe she's just hoping to go viral with a controversial post - I mean look at the deliberate way they posed for the picture, especially the guy's facial expression and I guess she has succeeded - so the joke's on us 😅
There is no such thing as dating downwards. If you date someone who doesn't make as much as you do or isn't as educated as you are then that person is on your level because you chose to be with that person. If you really thought that they were worth less than you wouldn't have chosen to be with them and you would have looked for someone else instead.
I don't think garnering bad publicity is really her goal. She probably has a full time job and her coworkers will probably roast her to no end.
Her money is her money, his money is also her money. Lots of women think like that.
would have been more interesting if she 'dated downwards' and changed her own mentality to not spend so much and be satisfied with caipeng and genki sushi, instead of pressuring her bf to provide for her, and if she actually realized that money is not everything. instead of being so happy that she made her bf acclimatise to her high SOL and she now all the money to spend on all the crap she likes. i dunno. seems like the wrong takeaway.
Idk about you, but I'm definitely not satisfied with just caipng everyday lmao. At least a nicer location once a month pls.
The boyfriend’s vid looks scripted as hell 😭
she communicates that she's entitled af. i couldn't date someone like that.
Indeed, almost any of us would be dating-down if we agreed to date her
Society is so poisonous now.. dating is about love, now we need to consider all these materialistic stuff.
Anyway my BF have to love me, that's all!
Dating is about love. Marriage is about 90% materialistic stuff and 10% love. If you don't hash these things out early, you risk a rocky marriage.
@@munster1404 That's a really sad mindset.
@@yunababy525 But also a correct mindset because raising a family is no joking matter.
A couple has to discuss bills, parental styles, credit, debt, religion, how to deal with family, what belief will be instilled in your children, individual childhood traumas (and how that translate to raising children), sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations.
Btw, the list is not exhaustive.
@@yunababy525 its a sad mindset, but at the same time they do have a point. While I don't agree with the 10% love thing, money is a big issue when it comes to marriages. When you take on the new journey of marriage, this also includes the financial aspect too. Marriage literally brings the statement " what's mine is yours and what's mine is yours " to life. If you're not careful you could end up thousands in debt just because your partner is financially irresponsible. Please don't become naive because of this.
@@etherealdreamer1930 I'm married, so I know what marriage entails. Naive is when you believe everything will work out in time - of course it doesn't. That's why all relationships -whether married or not- is called work. You work in your marriage, you hash out everything including money, your needs and wants, everything before you begin a commitment. Everyone seems to forget that it takes hard work to make a marriage. It's not just financial aspects, it's also emotional - actually I would say it is MOSTLY emotional. You have to be emotionally strong to carry on with the troubles you have within the marriage, and also be emotionally stronger to commit. It's not just logistics. Yes, their point is valid, but I entirely disagree with the 90% income problem. If it is so, then everyone shouldn't be "dating down" to be happier. And this woman is advocating a very very silly mindset.
I get what she mean. But saying you are dating downwards is such a toxic way of saying things. You can just say "despite how much he earns, I love his personality then all is good". Saying you are dating downwards is like trying to manipulate the guy emotionally. I know she is not doing it on purpose. But I feel like it is kind of a form of emotional manipulation to make the guy feel inferior and in a way telling him that he can't get a woman better than you. And saying all this is really a bad advice for woman, woman should not date down because it is easier, this will make them become resentful if they are expecting some form of lifestyle but the BF cannot provide it, and this will become very toxic. They should date whoever they want, and don't make this like some sort of game to minmax relationship. I wonder if the guy's income didn't grow like how it did, will the author still be with him.
I think her point is love is more than just money, but she worded it SO BADLY, and the way she keep talking abt income & earning power...... Really just draws attention away from the point she's trying so hard to make. Maybe get her story checked by chatgpt first b4 posting? And the upward, downwards, sideway, what in the google maps direction.... It just shows that she not treating her partner as her equal. lmao, ultimately i feel she just made that very first post to show the world how good her love life is going on :-D it's really not that deep, she wasnt posting to give some love advice, she just wanted to show off HER love life.... Well, it's making me laugh 😅😅😅
I think that besides income, she's seems to be alluding to the fact that he's not a degree holder
@@anneeli3089 yikes.
the ''basically'' got me rofl
The quote should be “ date someone who can give you everything he have rather than someone who can buy you everything you want.”
The bigger question is how certain power dynamics have ruined relationships that the only solution is being with someone who doesn’t haunt you.
There is some nuance in dating downwards for women, because what SG women want is to some degree is an attractive simp,
because if he is like an attractive chad that has everything going for him Job, Car, Wealthy Family, he could have other physical traits
Lean, Tall, Fair Complexion, then he may have too much power in the relationship as more SG women desire that hence he could
bail out anytime,
lets face it she may not be the prettiest one but there is also growing competition withing her social circle to find
someone better for her to climb the social-ladder of her friend group, every SG woman wants to also have a trophy boyfriend
to show her friends "this is my boyfriend, See i am happy, and you should be for me"
If he didnt check all the boxes then hes less likely to be desired by other women so he is more likely to stay in the relationship
or at least work things out. Not all SG women will end up with someone that they see in a K-Drama film, and i think women shld understand that early.
Like she as mentioned in the video she has experience dating someone of higher status than her, most women in SG after they date upwards (Hypergamy)
they dont wanna go back down, as they think relationships will get better and the guy MUST be better, to SG women every guy is like a Samsung or iPhone
u only upgrade your phone never downgrade. Just remember every guy and woman is unique qualities and traits cannot be replicable between previous man or woman.
A man may have these traits A, B and C, and if a woman decides to break up with him, she would expect the new guy to now have traits A,B,C and probably D and E because she wants
an upgrade otherwise she may feel she is losing out, the paradox of choice lives with those in power when you are exposed to more choices in a dating app u always want to know
if u have felt u made the right choice hence waiting to see every option.
Its no surprise that marriage and birth rates are on the decline, more women are now into management fields, taking up degrees to earn more money and compete with men in
more ways than one, hence they may feel they have a say in a relationship, our mothers/grandmothers were not as educated as our fathers as they may be more encourage
to be home-makers or at least take up jobs that didnt require a demand for the type of education certificates presented.
I still live by the truth that SG woman can always replace an SG man, because theres always a simp waiting to catch her when she falls,
for the man its different you have to find a way to survive
Dating downward is not much a Western men's issue. It is more a Western women's concern. But in Asian families, they always push to date upward. Never downward. However the dating upward's expectation has a list of vanity, materialistic, and selfishness. It's hard to have a successful relationship with dating upward.
Haha, sounds like the mother taught her to be so toxic
I'm curious how much $ would she give the guy if she has $1000,000
Best example of tell the world you're a gold digger without saying you are a gold digger lol
I think what she's trying to say is that dedication/ sincerity is more important than income. Which is actually positive, because so frequently when you hear people talk about their ideal partners they list off superficial traits (e.g. looks, height, wealth, status). Not that I really blame people for being superficial about money, as Singapore's such an expensive city to live in, but that's another topic. Commentors are pretty sensitive, she's isn't dissing him, she's simply stating that he used to make less than her; an insult would be saying if people of lower income are gross/ insert other negative adjectives.
Then calling it dating down is kind of unnecessary - even if it's a matter of fact. It's also a fact that dating down is taken negatively in a social context. It's like calling someone with a low IQ retarded, even if that is true in all accounts. Word choice is still equally important with context
Yeah, I also think like that 😂
Then why did she have to use "dating downwards"?
If he was so sincere/dedicated (moreso than her obviously), should it not be "dating upwards"?
@@AcediaRulerOfSloth Because he made less than she did, and that term is usually used with regards to "qualifications", i.e. your job title or income. I see a lot of folks mad with her for using this term, but it's not a new thing (I've been hearing this phrase for years, it isn't a recent Gen Z invention), and she did not invent the term.
@@purplepotato8849 i wonder if you watched the video cuz if you did, you wouldve known that isn't even the term's original meaning. Nowhere did it specify that calibre = income / job title.
Didn't expect this to be so funny XD Definitely the increased the entertainment value of the already entertaining topic.
To that guy: Blink in morse code if you really need help, we're here for you.
She only dated down because the guys in the "up" didn't wanna date down (her).
reading her post was genuinely so unbearable
Wah she really needs to get off her high horse. I know many people without degrees but are good family men. She seems to be too fixated on money and status, and her video speaks volumes about her character. It's as if she sees the value of her partner only in monetary terms. So, had he not been able to double his earning power within a year, despite being of good character, she would have thought lesser of him. This idea of dating down needs to go. I hope the best for them tho!
I do not think that she's speaking from a 'high horse' perspective at all. She is trying to be realistic with the fact that people do look at status / money when choosing partners, and her main point is to tell people to give it a try, even if they are not the 'ideal' partner.
The mistakes she made are her wording "dating downwards", and revealing her/her bf identity.
Yes, talk about how personality is everything by basing their foundation on comparing on how much both of them earn, and still talk about how much they can spend now since he is earning more 👍👍👍 its great to date down
There is no upwards or downwards…..all are equal in love…..if there is even a notion of upwards downwards then this will creep up when couples quarrel….
good for them and I'm guessing she had good intentions for her video, but damn what type of friends does she have? When I started dating my gf, neither of us knew or bothered to ask about our finances or salary or whatever, none of my friends asked about it too. my parents also didnt give a single fuck, if we love each other that's all - and shouldn't that be the norm? Since when were relationships about money or education lol
exactly!!!! are people that nosy? or isit just her group of friends, since birds of the same feathers flock together lol
So now that he earns more than her, he's basically dating downwards. So is she going to start paying for everything now like he did and try to double her income?
With this whole dating downwards, subtly forcing him to pay for more expensive restaurants than Genki, and now enjoying the fruits of having him earn more than her, it almost sounds like she was grooming him.
Ufff stahp you're reaching grooming is sexual abuse of a young person
At least it seems like they are happy and all. But her point was kinda lame since. She basically said dating down was the right choice be it eventually became dating up. So.....
she's just waiting for the next one, both mother and daughter have same thinking.
It is easy to bring others up if you yourself are high and powerful enough. So if you value overall compatibility in all areas rather than just status compatibility alone you can actually give yourself a wider dating pool to explore. After all Singapore is very small and too many people are too overly meritocratic and self serving if not outright jerks to begin with. Your life partner is to be with you for a lifetime. You might as well search more carefully and wisely for the right one instead.
I kinda get her point. She definitely didn't mean to shame her bf. Nowdays everyone has such crazily high standards in dating : good-looking, money, car, house, degree, wealthy family etc. She's trying to raise awareness that sometimes the best love you need does not necessarily come from all that.
It’s really something new
Bro is everywhere 😂
Everything in Singapore is competitive.
even MRT seats are competitive, let alone regular friends before girlfriend.
not just in singapore, this is a world wide thing I think
looks wise she is definitely dating upwards, poor guy
Looks doesn’t put food on the table nor does it make you build a friendship. So looks are irrelevant since they fade anyway. She’s talking about education and money.
The main message was that education and salary can improve. They aren't permanent and can change for the better.
Waa gg these 2 really deserve each other 😆
the sole fact that she said downwards is already an immediate red flag and disrespect to her partner.
10:51 HAHAHA I EXPECTED THIS
It's difficult for a Malaysian Chinese like me to date a Malaysian Chinese girl since I only pass Spm. I think for moment now Malaysian Chinese girls prefer either Singaporean, Korean or Japanese men. It's because most capable ones have migrate to Singapore.
weird couple for sure but then again, with how sg youths are like....
Nothing wrong here. Those two seem perfect for each other.
They're not terribly sophisticated. One is in love with money, the other is in love with sex. It is as Darwinian as it gets.
That said, it is worth pointing that the couple is young and they may evolve with time. Humans want different things during different times of their lives, and this seems developmentally appropriate for their age. I'd be more concerned if this keeps up till retirement age, where one is still obsessed with money while the other obsessed with sex. Most people want more companionship as they age and 'dating upward, downwards, or laterally' probably won't factor into their equations.
I think what most people are uncomfortable about here is the cringe associated with the delivery of the message. They're not wrong about young people prioritizing money and sex, but they just went about it in a weird way. Try looking beyond that and you'd see quite a cute couple, well, at least to me.
Is this really surprising? It is just how a lot of women think when they're not sugar coating or being pc but has always been reflected in how they date. I'm a man, with a lot of female friends. I've heard about everything you can about how they view men. It is the nature of growing up in a patriarchal society that they expect you to live up to. Either when they met you, or the potential to rise above them. An "investment" as one in the video put it. I always share that even the most progressive EU countries have stigmas about stay at home dads.
I want to be clear that not all women subscribe to it but it would be disingenuous to say a majority don't, especially in Asian society. The infamous "rather cry in the back of a BMW than happy on the back of a bicycle" saying came from us. Well more specifically said by women and never men.
I'll paint two scenarios I've encountered commonly. Dated a girl for a while, lied I was having issues with money. She left soon after thinking she was "better than me". Another was with other successful women. I make good money too but if they made more they reactively deflated or wanted to help me make more than them (again referring to "potential"). It'll take real hard social shifts before men aren't expected to be providers in the same fashion women aren't expected to be the sole home maker.
bro is just sad, you can see how much he gaslit himself
Dating downward=dating like before internet, for love.
Hello Yeolo if you can see this comment hopefully next time the quoted text can be smaller. hard to reach because it's too big on my screen and i have to read through letter by letter lol. cheers!
that's such a sad social phenomenon, also, your accent is quite endearing.
People are dating? 😅😅😅
when u start with the terms - dating with the sport, it's already defeats the original intent of dating which is to find the best partner for the life ahead. so whether u date up , down or sideways doesn't really matter coz you already got the fundamental intent wrong
I am fluent in Yappanese too. We are valid.
blud having an entire conversation with himself in the comments
@@nawaz6631 frfr
@@nawaz6631 frfr
@@nawaz6631 Aren’t comments meant to engage with people?
Did anyone told you that you look like Taiwan singer Terry Lin ( 林志炫 )? 😅
woman, when you're older and your wrinkles start to appear, you better make sure you match his caliber. so far bringing nothing to the table, pretty sure reality will hit you like a bag of bricks in a few years. tip, time flies ;)
Read some of her posts on Lemon8 and all I can say is... He deserves better. She is hyperfixated on a male partner having a "provider mindset" as a mandatory prerequisite, somewhat torn being wanting be a tradwife but also a girlboss which is unfathomable
Delulu couple 😅
The first thing he will do when he gets more money than her, he will run away 😂
The guy deserves someone better.
I feel like a lot of Singaporeans just go around sizing everyone up and deciding their worth and then use that as a cudgel to hit other people over the head with. Don't like it.
Caliber is a very vague term, yes. In sociology, the word would be ‘habitus’.
Pretty much the same in malaysia.
You’re entire commentary made me laugh so much! ! My question to this lady is who TF even asked her for an explanation?!?! Because sis is trying to prove a point that nobody cares for.
People are so chronically online these days they even want to share their details of their dating life…Like what?If I was the guy I would be really fed up
Wise man told me dating with your own SES now it's called dating downward lmao
my advise if your dating up guys just own the fact your not rich and dont be a try hard fake rich. Sure alot on the girls wont like you for that but some will which is better then the 0 girls that like you once they find out your faking it. Plus not wasteing money faking rich will help you get rich.
she wants to be @ the dominance side
Hi Yeolo, I started to follow you because of your thoughts of the video about the girl that looks down on guy that bring her to lau pa sat and make that vomit sound. I agree with your thoughts. But this video i got a different opinion. From this video i learn that i am a downward guy. I am 40 years old now and drawing fresh graduates pay. It is very hard for downward guy like me to find a date here in singapore. I feel that she is speaking up for people like me and i think they are a happy couple. Just leave them alone and give them their blessings.
I only date in non-Euclidean directions
Tl;Dr, girl is dating competitively and sharing how dating in a lower elo (Gold and below) is better then dating in a higher elo (plat and above). Internet shames her for shaming her bf and now she claps back saying her bf ranked up (from gold to master to legend). The internet continues to shame her and she keeps clapping back.
She makes it sound like she’s unique about dating “down”. Like I don’t look for a partner based on their education and income, if we get along and are lifestyle is compatible then its fine. It’s not something I think most people think about. I don’t expect to be relying on a guy. We rely on each other
I think most women dont mind dating downwards, because there are so many other traits they consider (e.g empathy, faithfulness, how you make her feel..etc .)but the only thing that cannot be overlooked is height 😂
This is so true 😂
Yep,being tall and charismatic can get you some pretty decent women even if you're poor
You want standard living but cannot keep up standard upward requirement lol this gal
This is pretty simple, she's facing the backlash because she has over-shared her own thoughts and personal experiences with the whole friggin world and only a few who knows her understood her. I'm sure her own close group of friends and family will be able to agree with her more, in other words, setting her account private would have saved her from all that backlash. If people are really having problems with the terms she used, namely "dating up/downwards", then they need to ask themselves if they are hypocritical.
She's facing the backlash because she has altered the integrity of what love means to different people. Although she might think that there is nothing wrong with dating guys for their looks or money, there are also people who date because of the experiences they've been through and their true affection for their partner.
Because the latter situation is rare, people who doesn't experience such love always deem those as "fairytale." In addition, the advent of dating apps, people now look for their partner based on materialistic things as finding a replacement is so easy and accessible.
With these two distinct perspectives on relationships, there will always be haters when one side is vocal about their stance.
I favour the latter institution of finding someone because of the experiences and affection we have for that person, so I can see why others who favour the same are so critical of her. She is trying to put on the facade of "find true love instead of money," but the whole topic in her post revolves around money, which is very contradictory. It almost feels like she's just flexing about her dating a simp who eventually turned successful.
@@foolsgold3576 very eloquently worded!
To me, it sounds like she decided to want to break up with him many years ago but hasn't found "the upgrade" yet so she's trying to justify staying with him for now (a behaviour known as "branching").
Not only let me make you feel like absolute crap by constantly reminding you I'm dating downwards, let me also post it online for millions to see.
Given that option I rather die alone
.
Honestly, who are these people sharing life/love wtv advice?
She’s gorgeous meh
He's dating down in terms of looks
Are women still expecting men to provide for everything & take care of them when women are earning more & able to be the provider?
Yes, the only difference know is that they don't take being a wife, girlfriend and mother seriously anymore. At least in the past she would try to be a good girlfriend, wife and mother
As a man, chai png is all we eat(consider luxury already), the worst is Maggie after bringing gf out. But we won't share that we eat that, because man.
Or
Girl: babe can I borrow $350? I need to do something important, I promise will return you.
Me: ok sure. (Behind the scenes, eat maggi for 2 weeks).
Good ol "Comparison is the thief of joy."
** basi-ker-lly **
Yall saying that she disrespect her bf. But ironically the bf doesn't even respect himself 🤣🤣
I think if she doesn’t mind his bac, she would not need to justify it over the internet
Her definition dating is literally like whether or not the stock market is in a bull or bear market 😭😭😭
Being of caliber or not is a choice. No one stays stagnant. That means high caliber people can go downwards too. And low caliber people can climb up. And the final equalizer is we all die at the end, so what is the point of all this narcissistic self importance. Work hard and be a good person that is good to other people is more important in life than this nonsense.
what works for a couple may not work for another couple. If this downward upward sideway thing is working for this particular couple then good for them. Anyways its fun to have stories like this to watch lol
i am not dating, the competition is pretty tight right now and its quite stressful.
There are alot of handsome men and available attractive women that want these handsome men.
I am just working and saving money so that i can survive in the long run.
and women and men shldnt publicly say they are "dating down" , its very rude,
but i guess when u have too many options u can say anything these days
HEY IDK HE IS CUTE
I don't see anything wrong with her original post about "dating downwards" except for the fact that she is openly blunt and tactless online, publicly. Personally I think that a lot of asians discuss about our/others partners income when it comes to compatibility, albeit behind closed doors / private setting. She's probably a gen-z so yeah, these are the times we are in now. Nothing to hide.
i love your singaporean accent! very charming
Dawg I tricked my gf into thinking she didn’t date downwards. Here’s how.
Every 3 weeks I tell her about a new girl flirting with me.
You’re welcome.
Based on the visual evidence provided in the video I'm pretty sure that the guy is dating downwards in terms of looks.