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Assalaamualaykum brother! You should talk to men & women who are Muslim and are from the Asian countries like India, Pakistan etc. the girls want to work and make their own money because husbands don’t want to spend even if they are earning well.
It was kind of funny to me to see the attitude of men and women in this panel, in which my brothers in Islam seemed to be more shy than my sisters. (I felt more hayaa' energy from them, especially smile2jannah may Allah bless him) May Allah guide and protect us all.
If there would be no career women who’s gonna teach the women later on? Who’s gonna be the Doctor who attend this women? Who’s gonna carry these roles where we women ourself supposed to need?
Islam is what the Quran and the prophet(saw) taught and the prophet’s wives fully covered their faces and also never left the house for no reason. They weren’t feminists either, they were obedient women. Unlike most women in the West nowadays, including muslim women that grew up here from childhood.
For the next session like this please have wives and husbands on to discuss how the marriage works and who has what role. Single people discussing marriage is nice but a married perspective is even better. Thank you
Absolutely agree. Single sisters want advice on how to get married but refused to lissen to brothers and sisters who are married and have a successful marriage Alhamdulilah.
After watching this video, it clearly shows the heart of the problem - We don't treat marriage as an act of ibadah (worship). Instead, it is all about our nafs (ego) - what I feel to be good or bad. We should put The Qur'an & The Sunnah first before our feelings, BOTH men and women. Consult with the people of knowledge who are specialised in marriage and take their advice if they provided evidences from The Qur'an & The Sunnah. Learn the fiqh of marriage before getting married.
Are you living in the stone ages? modern world also functions. you need to adapt to the changing environment or else all these muslim countries are going to be sitting ducks
@thefishychannel1420 You cannot have both. Women with careers often have gotten characteristics that make them worse wives. I know men who let their wife work and then in arguments the wife have reminded him that he doesn't provide for everything. No one has time for that nonsense.
Khadijah (RA) who was the mother of the believers had 3 daughters from her first 2 marriages and she was also an entrepreneur. She divided her time between upbringing her daughters and expanding her business. And even after getting married to the Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), they both continued to run their business together. Khadijah (RA) did her due allegiance to her children, family, religion despite being a business woman. I think Finding the balance between the two can be hard but its definitely possible .
@@stormavicious okay you do you. This video is about women who voluntarily spend time with non mahrem men being all sweet and chummy for no necessary reason.
As a housewife this pressure from other woman is true I can’t count how many times other woman have said to me o your just a housewife? Don’t you want to work? What do you do all day? And it’s very degrading I love cooking and cleaning and taking care of my children and teaching them our values. I don’t want to leave that to some other person in a daycare. I understand sometimes you have no choice but to work but once your married if you have married a good man he needs to take the role of a provider. And if he wants you to pay for everything and can’t take on that role then he wasn’t ready for marriage
May Allah reward you. My wife does the same, she did some work from home using a hobby she was good at but apart from that, she just wants to raise the kids. If I was a woman, I'd love to be a housewife, who wants to deal with bosses, colleagues, customers 9-5
You're not just a housewife but the head teacher of your own children's madrasah ( school). So what people say should not put you down. Don't forget you're raising Muhammad saw Ummah. As a man, I would never ever be able to do what you can do. Heads up sister👍👍🤲🤲
@@watvid1exactly I use to work in customer service before I met my husband and I’d never want to go back to that. I help my husband with some of the administrative side of his business but my priorities are our children and our home and his needs
Exactly. There is NO perfect couple. Just happy couples who know how to respect each other, embrace differences and aim to bring up children in a calm environment.
@@DestinyToParadise Neither. I just can see things and understand things you can't. If you don't delete this comment and it misleads people I hope Allah hold you accountable for it. Just because you're causing harm to society. I can understand the quote clearly but many will not.
Working woman here, for the passed 11years. I have had to, it’s tough, I feel like I’ve missed out on my kids childhood. I’m tired, my most deepest wish is for my husband to sole provider, and give me a chance to be the traditional wife and mother I want to be. I wish I could homeschool my kids , it’s very needed right now. The home environment today in these times,is the most important thing. And this is how we contribute to building a solid Ummah!
I felt it too sis, we moved to another city from London us to be able to afford for me to stay at home for few years. However now it's hard getting back to the work field since I've been home last 3 year. But also part time job that at least cover the kids costs and extra pocket money. It's really damned if you do damned if don't. Also my mum always works and was sole provider.. And she inspired me to be a go getter. I hope your kids value this.
Ali, with all due respect. Let the other men speak. If you're short on time, facilitate more time for the discussions. The whole thing becomes useless when the points and discussions are constantly getting cut short. Great format of a show, looking forward to more.
Ali won't pay any attention to advice in comments either. He only likes comments that praise him. He needs to learn and improve. I find him hard to watch.
@@dm_1236 Or you can give him advice on how to improve instead of having the mindset to dish him and replace with him someone else. This is more beneficial.
Yes i agree. I ll suggest you people to watch Youth clubs podcasts. Those are really well thought, on point, totally relatable and extremely calm and informative.
I feel like Ali should be part of the panel as oppose to being the host. The job of the host is to be the unbias party who direct the discussion and conversation rather than give their own views of the topic. They are also there to challenge and question responses of panelists so there is depth to understanding their views of a given topic. I also feel like the kick off question was a very loaded question and it lacked context which is why panelists took the discussion anywhere they wanted, so when the discussion lacked a focal point and an aim, it becomes too broad and lacks depth. I think the topic needed an introduction to present context of our current society or where its heading regarding gender roles. Explain whats the issue, why its an issue, define terms, are we discussing of extreme cases of the topic, are they becoming more prevalent. Great start however, this discussion just lacked context and a strong aim. Just my feedback hehe😅
Being a doctor and contributing to the community is one of the most noble professions there are. And some areas like women health, child's health and mental health, we still need women in this. And having issues of having women to work as doctors (unlike being corporate bosses), is dangerous.
There are a lot of other treatments methods other than the allopathy that are effective more than the allopathy itself. In India, we have aquipuncture treatment which only require one year course ( i know many people personally) and they cured many major diseases like cancer and other health problems which required surgeries. Alhamdulillah. They don't have any side effects like surgeries and other drugs. Some of them even work as midwives, from their experiences they had dealt many delivery complications according to allopathy which would have resulted in c- section. One example A woman broke her water a day or two ( i don't remember exactly how many days but it's still early) before her delivery and the baby comes out fine. This is not just one case but they had a few similar cases like this. So I don't think we need a allopathy doctors as much as we think. Only a few will be enough. In case if any other treatments doesn't not work for some people.
@@jeslaabduljaleel8518 the funny thing is, why I was listening to this video, there was an advertisement. Of course, the Islamic one. They talked about how we have to channel the skills/blessings that we have to help people with no access to it like people in war crisis/poverty. One area we are still lacking of is healthcare
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: “The best among you are those who are best to their wife. (Ibn Majah) Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:“The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women.” (Tirmidhi)
"IF they abide by your right THEN to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well never to be unchaste." (Prophets(saw) last khutba) So clearly, obedience to the husband comes before you getting your rights and being treated in the best way.
@@sobragranchester4350 There is no daleel for your statement. The statement of Allah, "the righteous wives are obedient (to their husbands)" is a generic statement. It makes no distinction on what matters the husband should or shouldn't be obeyed. However we also know of the statement, "there is no obedience to the creation when it entails disobedience to Creator" Hence the scholars say that the husband should be obeyed in ALL MATTERS except the commandments which disobey Allah.
I couldn't agree more my sister. I have the experience first-hand. I have known such a woman since I was born. She was a clinical doctor before her 4th child, but then became a housewife to take better care of her children, may Allah SWT grant her Jannat-ul-firdous. But the money her husband sent was so little(he was working abroad), her children would've lived a very unhappy life if she wouldn't have stepped up, used her education, gotten a PG and get employed as a professor in a medical school. She lived her youth only for her children. Now that I am mature enough, I think it is completely wrong to leave your wife for years and only visit her for a week every year! And the husband was evidently not liked by the children because whenever he would visit, he made the house the constraint of any joy whatsoever, the children had a few hours of happiness when he would leave the house to meet his friends. They would watch cartoon, which he didn't allow them when he was present in the house. The only good quality he had to offer for his children was discipline and fortunately made them good better at school. The Mother was the children's source of everything, she is beloved & cherished by all. She is still unmarried, providing for her two daughter's living expenses, education and so much more while the other two kids are living with their father to pursue higher education. The kids with the father have noticed significant changes in the man's behavior as he is getting old and now, he's more softer in approach, but as they say, people don't change so much..he still has a tendency of making the kids unhappy. He is controlling but loves his kids, he's working hard for them to provide for them, maybe..he has realized what mistakes he has made and is trying to do better. But he will be unforgiven by his children for what he done to them and their mother and most importantly to all of them, as a family. May Allah give them enough strength so that they can forgive their father. So my beloved sisters, I encourage you to get educated to a degree where if unfortunately, the time comes, you are not miserable and dependent on a bad husband. May Allah SWT bless us with a husband who is pious, has deen and akhlaakh. A Husband who practice his Hijab correctly, is a good father to your children, abides by the laws of Islam, has good compatibility with you , you both bring peace into each other's life and most importantly, you both bring each other closer to Allah. Ameen😌🤲🏻✨🤍
I think there are certain jobs where women are required, for example : when I take my wife to a hospital to give birth I would like for her to be treated by a female doctor(this can be applied to any form of healthcare activity) . Women can be teachers to teach other girls and women in school, or be store owners for women-only shops and such and such. In fact, women's active implication in society reduces gender mixing because women can just work and shop and be active in female exclusive spaces most of the time, it's really a win win deal. The idea that all women should stay at home is actually unrealistic and never have been the case in our Islamic history. The main concern of the early scholars was to prevent haram relationships outside of marriage, that was their priority, not erasing women from the public sphere.
@kuro saigatsu there is nothing wrong with that, you have a materialistic way of looking at education. What if a woman wants to study physics because she just enjoys physics.
Yup I agree its unislamic to condemn and say most women sole purpose in life is to stay at home cook clean and tend to their husband. Lots of Muslim women have dreams aspirations in life I’m currently in school for aerospace engineering. It’s a way to keep women always in need of a man and stay since being financially dependent on a persons mean you will put up with alot of things 🙃
It’s a shame that this current climate was not discussed and how difficult it is to survive as a family on one income. This seems like realistic common circumstances faced by many married couples/families.
If you can’t survive with one income that means your job isn’t that impressive. That means you will have no problem moving to another area that is cheaper. Problem solved
It should be mentioned that sometimes both parents have to work in this expensive time. I think and we shouldn’t shame those couples we should encourage them to work hard and find a way to eventually get to a financial means where the father can be the sole provider and the mother can stay with the kids. We can’t always talk about the ideal situation
Bit disappointed with the men’s side here. Usually find myself agreeing with what a lot of Zeeshan and Ali have to say. In this particular scenario there wasn’t much explanation of their opinions against a woman’s career other than making quite big, and at times extreme, assumptions or just saying buzzwords such as “boss babes” or “feminism”. It would have been a more fruitful discussion if they listened a bit more to what was said and responded with a well thought out rebuttal rather than just blurting out buzzwords.
Bit Disappointed with Zeeshaan to be honest, he normally is very open minded and wise but on this discussion I didn't agree with his notion that a career woman would have "masculine traits" . There are so many couples who both work in order to have a comfortable life, paying the mortgage for example would require two incomes in the home, we live in a high inflation society so the wife working sometimes is out of necessity, but that doesn't mean she's going to act like a "boss" at home.... This kind of comment from men stems from his own insecurities. Women nowadays like to be financially independent and they do not want to depend on her husband especially if the husband is miserly and she has to beg or justify her every penny spent, so if she wants to earn her own money,OR wants to support her husband financially, what's wrong with that? Doesn't mean a Career woman will have masculine traits because of it...don't forget Hadhrat Khadijah was a business woman so by definition also a working woman or a career woman. Brother Zeeshaan is a teacher by profession....i find it very disturbing that he thinks married woman should not have careers. I hope he's not teaching this nonsense to little girls and boys in his classroom. He should be encouraging Girls to have a good education and be intellectual's with good careers to serve the society. Not teaching them to become full-time Housewives! (By the way i have nothing against full-time Housewives, i am a stay-at-home-mum myself so please don't jump on the "Feminist!" Bandwagon!)
Brother Zeeshan was fair, there is a difference between having a job and being career oriented... reality is a human can only truly focus properly on 1 thing at a time. And Islamically child education comes first. However if a couple have no children, then women have more freedom to work/job....but I personally would never marry a career oriented woman who's first priority is her career. Action speaks louder than words. حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ ". Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. Sahih al-Bukhari 5090 sunnah.com/bukhari:5090
@@nazimashaikh3921 I'm a house-wife too and I also am getting abit concerned about the way some brothers seem to have this one size fits all attitude to marriage. Good points raised by you.
@@Shahid-if4ws None of the brothers were fair. The question itself was a loaded one and doesn't apply to the average Muslim women who work out of necessity. Sure, towards the end they clarified they're talking about the extreme cases where a woman selfishly prioritizes career over everything else. No one agrees with that even the sisters. But the sisters were put in a position to explain the scenarios where working becomes a necessity and the brothers were like okay this or that scenario is okay until they mentioned they're talking about the extreme cases. I don't think Muslim women would also prefer selfishly career oriented men who prioritize money & career advancement over everything else. No one on either side prefers the extreme. This would have been less argumentative if the question was phrased better.
I always dreamed of being a housewife as well as a novelist and dressmaker. I also want to have an online writing class where all the work can be done at home without leaving the obligations as a wife and mother. I hope it comes true when I get married.
Salaam, I have to say that the women present a point of view that's more grounded in reality. I say this as an imam who's seen and dealt with dozens of marriage scenarios. The brothers, specifically Ali and Zeshaan (whose content I very much appreciate and recommend), are more focused on the ideological debates of Speaker's Corner which are not reflective of the average family. Please continue to have these conversations.
Don’t request a female doctor for your wife then if she’s not allowed to be a doctor herself. Don’t put restrictions on women and pick and choose what they should and shouldn’t do
There’s nothing wrong with a woman being cared for by a male doctor if a female one is not available. I’m fact it’ll be better since they have more experience
@@alphauno6614 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but a man like him would most likely request a female doctor for his wife. There would be no female doctors left in the world if all men stopped their wives from being doctors. Allah has given free will but these men take it away from women and dictate their lives
Dear everyone I am a full time working mom. And let me say… there will never be a day where I will never have food prepared or dinner sorted. The key is organisation. Women are multi-tasker pros! Also, the key is to get married in your twenty’s and have your children soon after. Do not chase the carrot! Even if you reach the highest in your career it is only temporarily and the reward is short-lived. Motherhood is completely rewarding SubhanAllah
@@humzanafees9348 I hear you and it is our current day jihad really- ensuring the Akhlaq of our children is the most difficult job. Allah make it easy for us all. I do feel that we should not compare the way we grew up to how our kids behave with us. If a child is rude or Ill tempered , don’t match their mood at that time. Disciplining children these days has more to do with tact and less to do with punishment.
@@humzanafees9348 there are multiple factors that contribute to that including: cartoons children watch, how their parents treat them (with love or negligence), etc.. And in many cases, there are children whose moms are home-present but that still are disrespectfully turbulent, violent towards other children, etc.. Because moms are humans too. So a mom could be a good human or a bad human. Same thing for dads. Some people (and therefore moms) teach their children to only care about themselves and when disrespectful to others, they don´t say a word to their children. And part of these women are stay-at-home moms, meaning this happened in the past(before women even started to have jobs). Besides, children go to school now, so by even if the mom stays at home, her children will not be there. So it isn´t necessary.
It's really nice to see hard working mothers but i just want to say that earnings in general come from allah not how hard you work so you can't say that you will never have a day where you don't have food for example there are men who work almost the whole day and still have difficulties feeding there families, There are hadiths proofing that رزق earnings in general not just money are already written for us
It's not all or nothing, you can have a career and make it a larger or smaller part of your life depending on your situation. I worked full time until my daughter was born, then I went to remote work with very limited hours after she was born. Now alhamdilallah my kids are older and in school so I'm spending more time on work. Alhamdilallah I'm so lucky to have that flexibility. So many people need money and if I'm able to spend my free time earning money and giving in charity I think that's a blessing
its a trade-off. the flexibility you're talking about is not afforded to most people. career oriented women are not good partners because careers is not something men look for in a woman and because alot of careers make women economically dysfunctional i.e. their work is not compatible with starting a family
@@cooljool1 it’s funny you say that because women have been working for the entirety of humanity- farming, dressmaking, milk,aids, general maids have always existed Lmfao@- and they still took care of their families, it’s just the difference now is that the work is much more official. People think it’s a feminist trait to be a working woman but women have always worked and earned their money
@@vintagepotato653 it really hasn’t. Majority of women want their equal or better. Most women want to be spoiled, look after, financial elements taken care of. He needs to earn X amount of money, someone taller stronger than them etc etc Men very simply want someone who’s attractive and submissive. Beyond this additional things like having a job doesn’t move the needle to attract a man. Ultimately why go and focus after things that don’t make you MORE desirable to your future spouse? What men look for in a spouse is not the same as a woman, therefore just because women find status and wealth attractive doesn’t mean men do. And if you CHOOSE as a women to chase and have a career you’re not adding anything to your attraction level. If you were to learn skills and traits that were more “traditional” this would make you more attractive. So the issue is not women can’t work or have a job it’s that men aren’t attracted by this nor does it increase the likelihood of getting married
@@laisaf_15 I see you, but the thing is women don’t do it to attract men though- although like In south Asian cultures btw families do look for what the girl does for a living, here they care about what you studied and not. Biologically yes woman staying at home and man providing is ideal however the world doesn’t work simply on biology- there are financial situational and societal factors as well. And I agree with ali with the fact that while having children the wife should stay at home but once they’ve grown up the wife can start working- because what are u gonna do being cooped up at home all day? Women in the past were able to because they had access to nature and lived in communities but in the modern world most people live in tiny apartments where often there’s not even sunlight. And communities well most people u know lives far away and are probably busy. U see where I’m coming from
@@vintagepotato653 I see where you’re coming from to an extent. If women don’t do it to attract men , no problem but then don’t have an expectation that the man has to agree to you working otherwise he’s backwards and oppressing. Remember it’s not the issue of women going to work , it’s remembering majority of men don’t care especially high value guys who are top earners. And there is PLENTY to life than working. Read the Quran, Learn a skill, learn art, read, watch shows, learn bakery, go out with friends, list is endless.
@@animantis But it is true, depression is a societal construct. You never see people depressed in the third world countries even though they go through stuff on daily basis that we wouldn't even imagine and still we end up being the depressed one's. It's a new concept that has come into reality due to people in western societies becoming too weak and emotional. Today society tells us that it's ok to just sit and cry all day like a lil kid and play the victim but you have to realize that that's simply not ok, Feeling sad or down sometimes is one thing but it should never go any step further then that specially as someone whit a purpose in life thanks to our strong faith alhamdulillah. Keep your head up and move forward, never forget to praise the all mighty and be grateful to him for everything you have been blessed with in this dunya. Jazakallah khairan.
the brother in the black cap is the most reasonable man among the men present in this video. He gave me hope. Wish he had more opportunity to speak. Also the men that keep bringing examples such as "I wouldn't want my wife to be a doctor" are the first people to demand a female doctor when their wife has to be seen
@Total BINJIN shipper4ever #CLOY marrying someone isnt haram. The point I am making is if she is saying a man like that "gives him hope" then why dont women like her marry men like her. It's because men like that are beta and they deep down dont want those men. That is the point of my comment.
@Total BINJIN shipper4ever #CLOY Actually if you see before there is another comment saying the same thing. Women say one thing and do another. Within the men that are not for all of this women empowerment this is a common belief. It's very helpful. Because men with no experience with women will watch her speak and night believe that being that guy she is describing will make him more desirable to his future wife.
One criticism: Ali you spoke a lot in here and didn't really let the panels from either side speak, the 17 year old boy and Zeeshan were dropping some gems and needed more time.
My parents always had 2jobs My father: teacher in morning and evening shifts My mother: teacher in morning and full time mother Both worked hard to provide and nurture us❤
I personally use my spare time to learn the deen so that I can benefit my kids/family and the community by voluntarily teaching at the masjid (Allahumma baarik fiyya)
Masha’Allah May Allah swt bless you with the right knowledge & keep you steadfast on it my dear sister. Young Muslim women can definitely 💯 learn a lot from you so they can have a peaceful, happy married life & rewarding hereafter. To be honest if a woman thinks like you then it’s the responsibility of a man to make sure that she is well taken care of.
Final comment: We want muslim married couples who have sound religious knowledge, to show us how to lead the family in Islamic way. This is what is currently needed.
Yes, that's so true, alhamdulillah. These people sounded more like Western ideology to me. May Allah make us amongst those who follow the Qur'an and Sunnah Aameen 🤲🏽
Anyone who was looking to learn Islam from this video where no Qu'an or Sunnah was cited left empty handed. These kinds of discussions are frankly useless.
@@thesarasohrabi Are u implying that Islam is incomplete? Do you understand that a muslim bases his opinion about gender roles on Islam and not some ignorant notions from his desires?
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [ Qur’an surah Ar-Rum(The Rome) 30:21)
As someone born and raised in a muslim country, far away from the west, there is nothing that made women "feminists" more than the pure reality of men here or anywhere. You literally have to go in to a marriage and give-up basic respect you'd be entitled to as a human being. Men don't even have to go to the extreme abusive character; having an atrocious temper and being verbally-abusive, belittle, ignore and entirely dismiss women as human beings is enough to kill you inside. No, I'm not talking about an exception. this is an element present in life at the baseline and therefore, yes, I am protecting myself by being a "feminist" and securing me a source of income as well as a personality other than being a feminine mother/wife. We are human beings before we are our gender and the narrative always seems to push the opposite. How is wanting to challenge and stimulate my brain with things other than chores, children and femininity- masculine? Why do you all act like getting a perfect, all-around kind person and perfect muslim as a husband is a given? it's just like the argument you dismiss the sisters with by saying they bring up exceptionally unfortunate cases. Having some sort of career and income from the wife's side IS the balance because it keeps the men in-check. You know what's actually funny? The same men who went about sucking their wives souls, these men who love and would die for their daughters are absolutely pushing them to have the best careers and have strong personalities as they fear they'd end up like their mothers and be treated by some other guy like that.
Wow that’s horrible. I hope you are able to find the peace you are looking for. I am curious about one thing, do you believe Islam teaches men to behave like this or is it their lack of adherence to Islamic values that made them like that?
@@alphauno6614 I never said I was a feminist. I put it between air quotes because our brother Ali calls us having a career as being a “feminist” and plot from the west when it’s just a simple outcome of reality even when it’s far from the west.
Hazrat Umar Ibn Al Khattab (R.A.) said: “No man can have anything better after faith (Iman) than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing.”❤💞🤎🧡💛💚💙
as a women i would like to have a job and work while i'm married, however once i get pregnant and have children, then i would become a stay-at-home mum/wife. If i don't have children in a marriage I don't understand why stay at home and do little to nothing all day as there will not be much cleaning or cooking as there will only be two individuals living in a home.
U could use your free time to learn more about your Deen instead of going out for dunya purposes and mixing with wrong people. I wish I had that opportunity to b unchained from being forced to struggle for dunya so that I could do something for the Deen of my lord.
my wife is a dentist. she would yell at me over small things and argue almost everything . and now my daughters seems to follow her traits. it broke my heart often. Sometimes i think i don't really want to care if she didn't want to be a good wife to me, but seeing my daughters slowly follow her path really make me stressed. now i'm working harder to be more successful cause i wanna give her a "golden umbrella" and i'm not turning back, i don't care. I hope she would appreciate me more when she have to share my unconditional love. pray for me guys. i just want a happy family. i really mean it, i feel stuck edited Guys i know i can not justify what really had been happening in comments and yes you may argue you haven't heard from her sides. I'll say of course there's also part of me in the problem as well, as nobody is perfect. The thing i'm trying to tell is as a husband personally i would avoid to start any argument at all, i would just shut up and let it go but my wife have the tendency to start an argument on silly petty things. It's like unnecessarily inviting arguments just for the sake of winning the debate. It's so weird,, sometimes i feel like i'm gonna lose it. And all those petty arguments always started when she's having bad days at work. She's wasn't like that when she was a small-time dentist. Sisters, having careers is not a problem, just don't bring home the problems and winning an argument that you plucked out of thin air is not a gain. And please learn motherly traits our mothers used to. We men/husband have to bear the sins of the whole family. A burden you can't never understand. I'm sorry if i offended you. Please pray that my daughters grow up in Allah blessings
May ALLAH (SWT) make your family of those who are righteous and full of happiness and love and grant you and all the Muslimeen the highest level of Jannah
Establish boundaries immediately. Be a Rajool, have Gheerah. Or you will end up Doormat for life. Because every Man wants Respect deep inside his heart
@@tbishop4961 That's not what he means at all. He just wants more of her love and affection, since it seems she's always moody and verbally abusing him. They both work, him and her and it's not fair that she thinks she can make his life miserable just because she isn't in the mood to be nice. And what makes it even worse is that their kids are following her path of unpleasantness. This is just sad. It's clear this man loves his family, but they walk all over him.
I have two daughters and I pray they grow up to be competent to give back to the ummah- either as a female doctor, teacher, counselor or islamic scholar. Yes we need more women in roles that actually help other women and families.
@@ha6606 how is having a job a bad thing😂, you are just a selfish individual saying that men can have kids and go after their dreams, but wonem can only have kids
Hope they do in Sha Allah. And hope they get amazing spouses who support them and provide for them both financially and mentally. And hope they get to serve the ummah. Aameen.
@@MH-bf4uu That's the issue though isn't it? We've put our "dreams" before what Allah SWT expects from us. Not saying women shouldn't work. The Muslim community needs women to be involved and take on professional roles. But if we put our dreams and careers before what Allah SWT expects from us, then our Muslim children are doomed to baby sisters, day cares, TV and internet to guide them. As is what is happening now. Not sure how aware you are (maybe you are and maybe you aren't) but it's shocking just how much dawah away from basic Islamic teachings is being done to our children on a daily basis. If parents aren't deeply involved in what their kids are consuming, let them not be surprised when their kids are indoctrinated and guided to a different way of life. I can' tell you how heartbreaking it is to see a father come to the masjid, crying for someone to please talk to their child who has left Islam. Working is fine for both partners. But as Muslim parents, I believe our dreams should revolve around the upbringing children that will carry on the torch of Islam with confidence and grace after we're gone. How can we do that effectively if both parents are career focused? This is isn't a call to stop people working. But a call to balance and reevaluating our priorities and purpose in life. The notion of the "American dream" and following your passions has been so deeply drilled into us, that the most noble thing a parent (mother or father) can do, which is raise upstanding, God fearing children, is looked down upon. I think we need to ponder over the Hadith about Jannah being under the feet of the mother a bit more carefully. Saying that a women with kids is somehow less accomplished than a man who pursues his dreams, is the biggest lie the west has been trying to shove down our throats. Based on Quran and Hadith, Allah SWT has honored our mothers (who are indeed simply women with children) far greater than any man who might be an astronaut, a world class brain surgeon, or the CEO of Apple. If Jannah is the greatest reward a person can attain, what does that say about value of the mother, who's feet have been placed above it?
Typical feminist has a back up and waiting for first problem to leave and not rely on her husband. That mindset is dangerous and may be the reason to high divorce rate amongst young muslims in west imo
What is wrong with hoping/ wishing for the best, striving for the best but preparing for the worst? That is something a smart person does. Allah( swt) wants us to trust him, but he also want us to use our brains and protect ourselves.
@@oayysz8909 its called damage control. Some people like to make sure their doors are locked, even in safe neighbourhoods, because they don't have an exception complex where they think they're exempt from all the possible ills other individuals who started off with good marriages eventually experienced. 😘
I understand where my brothers are coming from and there are way too many women who DONT want to work anymore, but there are some women who have to work cause of their own mothers and fathers. The parent need to be taken care of and some men be like “I married you not your parents”.
I find it interesting that they are asking women and then they don't believe the answer if it doesn't fit their perspective. They said they don't want a working wife because of A,B,C and then don't like it when a solution or reailty is brought up. Also single or divorced women needing to work, families that need help financially, and women in abusive situations needing a way out and that requires money are all real issues. It's a lot of women and shouldn't just be brushed to the side. Many times, the reason women want to work is not being appreciated, being abused, they are bored, or want some money in their pockets. Some women pressure other women to work, but that's not the case for the majority. Maybe I just grew up in a community where it's normal to be a stay at home mom and even homeschool your kids. I just don't see pressure from others and I live in the west. I think it was more common in older generation. Just like the women said, if women had amazing husbands, they would be stay at home mom's. A lot of men pretend to be great and then when they get married, their true selves comes out. Same goes for some women who pretend to be someone they are not. And women think that being a house wife isn't that great because their husband's tell them that. There are a lot of superwomen out there. There are also seasons in life where women take a break from work, like when her children are really young. The ending was very weird. How is a second wife a passion project? Lol Men actually do have hobbies like RUclips, gaming, cars, watching movies, side hustles, etc. Men don't come home and fix things until they go to bed. That's just extreme. So to believe that's what women should do by just focusing on the house and children is also a type of extreme. They need a mental and physical break too. Sorry for the long comment, but I really felt like I needed to say something.
couldn’t agree more! Also might explain why zeeshans marriage broke down, with such toxic views… sorry don’t mean to judge but disappointed with both Ali and zee , I thought they were more socially aware/intelligent… comes to show that certain knowledge isn’t everything (without application) vague ideas that didn’t address real life issues. Muslim Couples need to be a united and powerful force for good, a career/driven woman is like a diamond in the rough, and rare to come by. (I’m speaking as a mum of 4, -part time working - managing home affectionate, maternal woman, who feels inspired and in awe of mothers who are able to do run their homes with their successful careers, employ cleaners cook to perfection (yup they do exist and it takes a certain type of female character, *BUT must add* when supported by her dedicated husband) shallow points thrown about, especially in an age where Muslim men aren’t stepping up, aren’t protecting the rights of fellow Muslim women when it comes to acquiring basic knowledge in Islam, where in the UK!! Many masaajid are out of bounds for women (no women sections) Actually here’s a shout out to @alidawah can you please run a campaign and show your support for women spaces in the mosques?? By the way we absolutely appreciate your every efforts and for doing this much needed chat show, having female panelists is truly refreshing and we look m forward to more. Just sharing our constructive criticism (that’s all)
Thanks for saying something, there were so many points to raise with the brothers I didn't know where to start. I guess it's normal for men and women to come at it from very different angles. We have very different (and valid) concerns.
as a muslim i’m very disgusted by all of these muslim men in the comments, even the non muslim men are better than you, how can you look down on women and act like you’re a king when a women has literally birthed you and raised you. And you’re asking about ”how can men and women be equal when they are different”, you feel like men are higher? the answer is no, women are actually more respected in islam, why do you think that in islam you should love your mother first and father comes after? it’s because women are more respected, and you should know your place and respect women, don’t look down on them as if they’re your slaves, they aren’t your slaves and they have their own rights, and just because you’re her husband you do not have the right to tell her she can’t work, who are you to prohibite her from working when Allah (swa) has gave her the right to work? You’re her husband and you must work and give her money, you are not her king, she is a woman just like your mother and you must respect her, and if you can’t respect women and can’t let them work because you are worried about your masculinity, then you need to go buy yourself a slave. and if you are going to have a second wife then you must be smart and rich enough to provide both families, because having 4 wifes is a sunnah, but providing them equally is a fard, are you rich enough to complete that fard?
@S K May Allah make it easy for you sis. So many ladies are in similar relationships as you've described and it's being dismissed as a minority scenario but in my experience it is very common.
I'm a stay at home mum and to be completely honest I get really fed up just like EVERY mother does! I would love to have a part time job just so I can be away from the home and my kids but does that mean I will do it? NO! I have a 1 year old that I would never think to leave with strangers or even family as he is my responsibility. Just becuase there is a desire to want to work doesn't mean I'm career driven or that I shouldn't becuase my husband provides. I want to work for my own sanity and inshaAllah when my son is 3 I will. Until then women do your job as mothers and men back off from women who simply want a life outside of their homes. Alhamdulillah my husband is very supportive of me and even suggested we can both work part time to have one full income, he can do 3 days and I can do 2 but unfortunately this isn't very realistic or stable. But it's great to know that he's thinking of my mental health. A happy mum is a good mum!
So when ur son is 3 you will leave him with childcare providers and schools after that so u can work. So why aren’t we being honest - being a housewife isn’t about raising the kids it’s about continuing to raise a man child Most house wives send their kids to school and quran classes etc for the better part of the day so barely see their kids during the day Housewife is about what benefits the man not what benefits the kids cos there kids ain’t there for most of the day anyway lol
I would like to be on the panel for the next debate. I am a young mother who is also a professional and is trying to balance both roles. I believe I have insights I can share. I truly think it is about balance and always remembering our priorities and roles that Allah has given us. The sad fact is that society has set us up for failure because quite frankly even if a man works really hard and works full time, he doesn’t get paid enough to support his family.
So true. My husband works 13 hour days most of the week and we were in the poor house with just his salary. I have to work unfortunately. I would prefer to just stay home raise our kids. Even homeschool them but I can't unless we find a way for us to have another income without me working.
Support the family does not mean 50inch TV, luxury gadgets, latest iPhone, spending endless on home improvements. Our role model is the prophet and his companions. They lived a simple life.
@@Shahid-if4ws no one here said they have luxury gadgets or new iphones. I have a phone that is cracked and 4 years old. all of our fruniture is thrifted and second hand. we don't have a TV. we only have 1 car. in some places in the united states its impossible to survive on 1 income. please don't shame women for working.
@@hyrunnisa997 no one is shaming them. If you can work without violating your husbands rights in the slightest which acc to me isnt possible, but if u can do that go right ahead
Respect , provide and protect our women , but that doesn’t mean we should allow them to do what Islam doesn’t allow. Always follow sunnah and what the Quran says , if you don’t feel comfortable with your wife working . Then don’t let her work , but make sure you provide for her and family . Simple
Great Debate. I am a female. Let me tell you my life story. I did not plan to have a career, it happened due to Allahs plans. My dad passed away, i was 17, i had 4 younger siblings, where is the money coming from to put a roof and food in my families life. My dad provided - all gone at a snap of a finger by Allahs will. So all 4 siblings work and provide to run the household - say all girls. I actually had 2 brothers who did not step up to the plate to provide so what do we do .. starve. Then ended up in an abusive marriage where I gave up work and wanted children and it never happened. Second marriage - lovely man - barely survives with his wages prob around £1000 a month. Working his upmost best according to his abilities - he is autistic so struggle. My current hardworking but we cannot survive on his wages. We barely survive. I have to work to ensure roof over our head. We have to go half and half. There is no choice in the matter. In london how much is rent - how can my husband survive on 1k a month. See the situation. I dont have a choice but to work. Now we can cannot have kids so what do I do with my life so i have a full career.
Sorry to hear that sister. May Allah give you patience. I would like to suggest, if he is not earning a lot and you live in an expensive area, why not move? What's holding your family back? Make the effort, inshallah Allah will make things easier.
@@alphauno6614 yes so the next question is, husbands parents dong want to leave there expensive place and he has a duty to his parents, life is complicated with various nuances, its not black and white, all you have to make sure is you have a good heart hardworking and good intentions. There is no right or wrong answer in this whole women working thing. Allah has given many trials. What if your husband becomes disabled, your dad is disabled. Islam is beautiful.
@@mehjabinmiah7271 I see. I guess they won’t listen to your suggestion to move. In that case, I would say that instead of looking at people better off than you, look at those with less than you. The fact that you can go to the store and buy fresh fruit and vegetables, have access to clean water and electricity, parks, etc all are great bounties from Allah. Many in other countries would wish to have your humble life. Being content is where you find peace, not wealth. Also reading Quran and seeing what Allah says also brings great peace to one’s heart. May Allah give everyone the ability to find peace on the righteous path.
May Allaah grant you tawfeeq in all your affairs. And the fact that you married a man with Autism gives me hope for my son's future. Allaahumma Baarik lakum.
The men sometimes really need to step back and look at the bigger picture to consider all the avenues this question takes you instead of only hearing their own side. The men keep brushing the women’s points off as if it’s not relative to the conversation when it truly deeply is!! These are actually real problems we are facing and should be spoken about also. Great job anyway, I love that this is even open and up for discussion ❤ may Allah reward you all for the good you do and try to do Ameen x
@@walkerjobe6964 It's hard to describe but in a way it's very liberating to just do your best with your situation and have faith that whatever happens is what Allah swt has decreed to be best for you ..ie when you are ill and in severe pain- this is Allah swts way of bringing you closer to Him, being reliant on Him, having faith that you are being rewarded for your patience. It's always a glass half-full type of attitude no matter what the situation I guess
A lot of the time when sisters work, it's because the husband doesn't make enough to support them both. If he does earn enough for both, then it's not necessary for the sister to work. But it's good for sisters to have some education just in case they fall on hard times.
Not facts. Nowadays go to any family to ask for a girl's hand in marriage, and the first thing they ask is whether their daughter will be allowed to work. This is even before they know what the guy earns.
@@purplespark8 as a muslim i’m very disgusted by all of these muslim men in the comments, even the non muslim men are better than you, how can you look down on women and act like you’re a king when a women has literally birthed you and raised you. And you’re asking about ”how can men and women be equal when they are different”, you feel like men are higher? the answer is no, women are actually more respected in islam, why do you think that in islam you should love your mother first and father comes after? it’s because women are more respected, and you should know your place and respect women, don’t look down on them as if they’re your slaves, they aren’t your slaves and they have their own rights, and just because you’re her husband you do not have the right to tell her she can’t work, who are you to prohibite her from working when Allah (swa) has gave her the right to work? You’re her husband and you must work and give her money, you are not her king, she is a woman just like your mother and you must respect her, and if you can’t respect women and can’t let them work because you are worried about your masculinity, then you need to go buy yourself a slave. and if you are going to have a second wife then you must be smart and rich enough to provide both families, because having 4 wifes is a sunnah, but providing them equally is a fard, are you rich enough to complete that fard?
@@Aot1768 There was no such need for a long paragraph. All I'll say is that scholars are in unison that the husband can prohibit the wife from working. People these days are way too influenced by western media and feminism, that is why they can't see past all this. You seem like someone who has gone through depression, because nobody talked about multiple wives here, yet you are dragging on about it. If you have, please talk to someone about it. Going through comments on social media won't do anything
*Short answer:* _No, Muslim Women Don’t Need Careers To Be Empowered._ _"To the Islamophobes who want to say that Muslim women are oppressed, we simply don’t need to play their game. We can just turn the tables on them and respond, “Actually, it is Western women who are suffering the highest levels of dissatisfaction and depression despite their supposedly empowered lives. Instead of worrying about Muslim women, maybe clean up your own house first. And if you need any tips from us Muslims, we are more than happy to help!”_ ~ Ustādha Umm Khalid May Allah ﷻ destroy Feminism (cancerous ideology). Ameen!
Sister in middle is amazing, she has super faith in ALLAH swt, she is very positive on some point, may ALLAH swt bless her for that. 90% + people has their eyes on situation & so on, what if this happens, La haula wala khuwata If we are just good, ALLAH swt will do best to just, but it doesn't mean it will look good or feel good, you might feel bad initially, but later on it will be best for sure.
Really Good topic! As a muslim wife and mother I would like too make some notes. 1. Being home with smal kids is fun and nice! Lot of things you can do with them But you have also the house and everything around you that is on you as a housewife. Clean clothes, cleaning house and kids always makes messy everywhere the food and the smal things like playing with kids, waking up at night for them etc etc The Kids today are not like the kids back in a days. As a woman sometimes you dont have time for ur self. Its important that in a realtionship men and women have good realistic understanding of everything and dont expect everything too be perfect. Sorry for my english
I think raising kids at some point becomes the job of the teacher at school, I mean kids spend more time at school than their home nowadays, so the argument that women's job is to raise kids only makes sense in the first years of child's life.
@@primeminister1040 right now I am a housewife and I'm home with kids a lot they only go to school some hours A-day not like the rest of the kids that go there 8 hours ...
Hearing Ali dawah say it’s a disaster for a man to support his womens career and pick up in different places just shows how immature he is and how he takes advantage of the deen to feed into his own insecurities.. god for bid a women is successful and has a supportive man oh may allah be with him -_-
The issue with women who have careers is that they will listen, respect and obey their boss at work but if their husbands ask them to cook or clean they will refuse.
As a sister, i agree. I think women can work as long as they acknowledge that the house is priority and if they can balance work and home and are organized, i see no problem
A man has full rights to prevent the wife from working. In islam its the wife pleasing the husband first and more, not the other way around. A working wife brings things to the table that is bad for the marriage if everything is equal generally speaking.
@SarahtheSoldier Allah does. Just like parents have right to tell their kids what they cannot do husbands have the right to tell their wife what they cannot do. God gives these rights. Are you even a Muslim?
@@Biochemist_Sam The Quran doesn't mention Team either though. The comment above yours was correct, HUSBAND and WIFE are partners with the ultimate goal being jannah.
This partner idea is part of the feminist decline. Sure you work together for a goal, sure its a partnership, but be careful where you're hearing that word from because they also use it in their playbook peace be upon you
There was this advertisement in Singapore where a lot of married women have careers, they interviewed the nanny and the mother, where they asked questions about the child, from their favorite colour and food, to what they want to be when they grow up. The nanny gets all the correct answers as compared to the biological mom. It just shows how much they are missing from their childrens life when they choose their career. And Singapore is not a poor country where both spouse absolutely have to work...
It depends I only work 10 hours but I work so I can buy things that are not necessary but a little wants that may just be an extra burden on my hubby. I.e organising a Eid party for my children buying the decorations, paying for the extra circular activities such as swimming me just helping out with bills and food
@@MariaSanchez-kg2fl Precisely It should be equal (unless one wants to be a full time stay at home aren't) so both parents are able to have a life of their own while spending time with their children so neither misses out.
I love this show brother Ali, thanks for providing this platform for us muslims so we, men and women, can discuss our daily societal and marital issues. Allahouma barek feek🤲🏻
I think a key discussion that’s always omitted not intentionally is the support of wider families and keeping together families. The concept of a child is raised by a community. People forget that women didn’t used to look after kids alone since the beginning of time. Women were co wives or living in big families so the struggle we have now of doing everything alone never existed before. And that in time puts pressure on the husband too
That’s something for you to consider. Being a secondary wife to a sincere husband does open the door to fewer responsibilities in the home, allowing more time for other ventures. Alternatively, large blended families could also serve a similar function however more chaotic they may be. Interesting ideas though. Food for thought
Good discussion, Thank you! It’s obligatory on a FATHER, HUSBAND, BROTHER or SON to provide for the women in the family. Give the women in your families financial security so she is not compelled to work or pursue a carrier! The MEN who are not supporting woman will be answerable to ALLAH SWT. on the judgment day!
On matrimonial websites, there are many Muslim men that want a working wife; it's listed as one of their criteria. However, they need to understand that if a wife is going to be working full-time and then she comes home and has to take care of the cooking, cleaning, and raising the kids (soothing, bathing, feeding, homework, etc)....with little-to-no support from the husband at home.....then resentment will soon follow because she's basically working 2 full-time jobs. I've nothing against housewives because my mother has always been one and she took care of the domestic responsibilities because that's all she had on her plate. However, times are different now because BOTH husband and wife are working (for various reasons) and many South Asian wives (exceptions to the generalization do exist) especially find themselves where there is little support from husband within the home , and another issue is the failure of the men to balance rights of their Mom and their wife and it becomes a tug-o-war....but that's a whole other video.
this argument is unbelieavable... just because " few men" on datiing site are requiring their futur spouse to work. We now all men have to potentially give up our right ? My only advice, stop overthinking, choose a men who understand his deen and the wisdoms of Allat swt. Respectfully
@@rashdwg5117 it’s you who is overthinking, where does it say in the comment that all men need to give up their right? The person just highlighted the issue that their are few mens out there making these request and that comment is mostly addressed to them.
I'm 25. I don't want to work. I do not like working. I do not like doing business with men. I would much rather be at home raising children, growing a garden, culturing myself so that I can teach my children about other cultures, exploring hobbies and providing an environment at home that is comfortable beautiful and loving. I am an extremely driven woman which is why I've studied different languages taught myself how to cook taught myself how to clean excetera. I do not appreciate when career-driven woman says anything in regards to a stay-at-home wife or mother's ambition. Ambition is not directly linked to professionalism. That has only existed for the last hundred years. Before this time, everyone had trades and TANGIBLE skills to provide. Now we have a bunch of pseudo-sciences and pseudo businesses that take up far more time and are far less fulfilling spiritually. What I mean is, in the past a woman could make extra jam and sell it at a market, she could take care of other children, she could clean other houses in exchange for money. But now she can be a doctor for 16 hours a day, she can be a therapist for 8 hours a day, when in the past this was not an option. So it's not like women were just at home. Women were doing things within the community while the men were at work very valuable activities that are now given to nannies Cooks gardeners Etc. It's not like women in the past had no other activities besides being at home. Womenbare not locked inside their home. It's actually sad that a woman or anyone would feel that the only way of exploring this beautiful world that we've been given is through career or traveling. I can learn so much just from studying the weeds that grow in my backyard, from picking up a book at the library, from studying the clouds, from listening to my three-year-old speak their baby talk, etc. There's so much that I can learn from what is immediately around me and I'm grateful for every little thing that is around me. I would love to have a life where I can spend my time just really appreciating the beauty that is this world. I can learn how to make things and create things that will benefit my family so that we don't have to always buy things from other sources that we don't know. And, I can create men and women who will also appreciate the beauty in this world and love others from that perspective.
This is a nice show. I totally agree with the brothers as a female who was raised to focus on her studies and work and having gone through some brainwashing by feminist ideas. Most women like me I believe they would finally realize the importance of what you mentioned once they hit their 30s. Now, I am not trying to complain here or anything Alhamdu lillah who showed me even at a late time the truth and made me more open to it, it is still though a long way or journey to make our sisters realize this. However, I have to say even tomboyish girls want to have that man that they can lean on, it just that they didn't have the chance to have such an opportunity. Even those tomboyish girls want to find a person to be able to express her femininity with/to. They might say differently though because of society pressure etc. However that is the dream of every girl/woman on earth. Now to brother Ali, I think this episode was a good start and I like the show and it's idea. However, I thought it was not well managed. Please give the panelist more time to express their thoughts after thoroughly explaining the topic. The episode was kind going into different directions. Everyone was saying something and no one was listening well. Because the topic is not very clear that is one point and because brother Ali, I am sorry to say that, it felt you were forcing your ideas more than giving the panelists (brothers and sisters) the time to talk. Also, I have to mention this to be fair as well so that my sisters won't feel dispair. It is true that Biologically we are getting further from our prime time after hitting 30s. However, know that Allah is capable of everything. Look at our mother Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) she wasn't young when Prophet Muhammad PBUH married her. Yet she had most of his children. And the Young Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) wasn't blessed with any yet received great knowledge and followed by taking care of young muslim children. We are all here for a purpose. Work on yourself because definitely not me and not you are our mothers of believers or even closer to them in faith. But work on yourself and work to find your couple in this life as Allah promised we are created in pairs while keeping working on your faith. In the end what matters is your relationship with Allah.
I think the best way to have this debate is to have a three part series. One solely discussing ‘boss babes.’ One discussing reverts who are struggling to find traditional men/women who’ve been let down by men and have to work. And one where you do a 50-50 episode, one half for the men specifically analysing and advising how their behaviours can contribute to modern day ‘feminists’ and the other half to women advising how they can find honest men. The issue is the women want to explain that exceptional circumstances aren’t as exceptional anymore. There are more and more broken homes. Funnily enough, the men are talking about the same thing in effect but from a ‘feminist’ being at fault point of view. Essentially, on base level, they both agree. The issue is the men don’t understand that the exceptions are becoming the norm and so generalising a complex topic like this can seem offensive. And the women are agreeing with the men on base level points but are getting triggered by the men not understanding the exceptions ‘cos the men want to address only the ‘boss babes.’ Do a three part series or accept that this will be the result 😂 I know people will be unhappy if you do a three part series, but at least you’ll cover more points that way rather than everyone get lost in emotion.
Except that's all anecdotal she hasn't given hard data And Ali is correct they need to focus on the topic which was What a man is looking for and why they kept veering off into anecdotals
It's all about time management and communication. As a father, i want to care, teach, and watch over my daughter in her growing years. Not just hand over the whole responsibility to the wife. It's best if both parents do the work together but are still doing it the traditional ways. P.s. I still earns alot Alhamdullillah and pay the bills.
This is one of the most disturbing things I’ve seen from Muslims in a long time. Essentially these men are advocating for erasing women from the public sphere which is insane and antithetical to Islam. I’m shocked that men think so little of women or think so poorly of Allah’s creation that He would make women for the sole purpose of living for what men would want. This is toxic content and I can’t believe this is being spun as some kind of informative Islamic forum. The small minds of these men are frightening and the ummah doesn’t stand a chance if this is far as the intellect can go.
How about me 😆😆 I run 4 Businesses - have 2 Kids I take them to school and Kindergarten and I help with the homework. I cook 95% of the time. I clean 95% of the time. My husband is working full time. And sometimes I ask him politely to just please clear the dishes from the sink....he sometimes does sometimes doesn't 😆 i understand it is my fault that I overloaded myself with all of it but i actually enjoy the stress and process of it all..... and I raise my kids in a pretty strict way meaning they need to learn how to wash laundry and clean after themselves. I think cleaning after yourself is a BASIC life skill. And my son WILL have to do it too. This will make his and his wifes life much easier. He won't be any less masculine... On the opposite it can sometimes feel like you're living with a sloppy teenager if all he does is make a mess and expect a loyal wife yo clean after him because he's working full time.... 😂 I work with housework probably 12 hrs per day and still do it. Spoiled is not se*y and not attractive. 🙌
I used to think "what's the issue with a woman having a career". Until I realised literally every traditional household that talked to me about it swore to me that it's impossible to raise kids properly if you are working a 9-5. Every single one tells me that you need to always be there in the kids life. And more I look at how kids turn out from 50% households versus traditional ones the more I'm convinced they are actually right.
If the father is always working then he will be in the child's life less. If both mother and father are working it can be arranged so that both parents spend enough time with their children, instead of one more than the other.
@@Mannequeer this is false. If both parents are career oriented then one partners hours will not affect the other partners hours. The father will still have the same number of hours at work the only difference is the wife will also be at work as well
@@HK-dd2bo that's not always the case, there are a few countries (including mine) that allow work hours to be altered if you have children. This assures that both parents will have time to spend with their children on a more equal level because it is important for children (as they're growing up) to have both parents around.
@@Mannequeer regardless it will mean the child has less time with parents. And the real point in my original post is that it's extremely important for at least one parent to always be there to raise the child.
This discussion was needed. A part 2 is needed. A list about the topics and discussion between the topic should be loosely made before filming so that the video is more organized and cohesive. The ideas present were needed but needed to be stated in an organized manner
Nah cuz my friends are all extremely career oriented. I'm 20 and I have 17-23 year olds in my friend circle who are all chasing careers. I've had my best friend tell me the other day "You're not studying so hard just so you can get married, don't you dare think of marriage before settling into a stable career" And this is the prevalent mentality amongst all the women in my life. Even the families are pushing their daughters towards having the "career first" mentality. And that is something to be concerned about. All my peers see being a SAHM as a waste of potential. The brothers aren't wrong when they point this out. Noone's saying you cant have a career. its just that having a career nowadays is seen as the better choice to make over choosing to be a housewife/SAHM. The latter is seen as a waste of potential, laziness, unambitious etc. My own mother expressed disappointment when I told her that I'd like to be a SAHM. So yea, I do think it's a real issue that requires addressing.
With the economic status rn, if you have a career/proper education first, you can probably afford a car/a house first before getting married. But if being a full time wife is your thing and your husband has no problem providing for you, I don't see a problem.
It's okay if she works (if she wants to), as long as she can reconcile between work and her role as a mother. Plus, she has to work in a suitable environment.
@ghostraqueur. you realise women in the Medina in the time of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, had jobs and worked. If the job is right for her and doesn't affect her role and responsibilities in the household, then it's okay
This episode was so disappointing, but the comments did not disappoint alhamdulilah. Not everything is about feminism, sometimes a woman just wants to do something outside the mum/wife role cus it makes her happy…like teaching kids or whatever it may be. Relax guys we aren’t taking ur role nor are we leaving ours!
Feminism is about what a woman wants and about the ability to decide how to spend her life i.e. as being a housewife or getting a job etc. Feminism is about a choice of what a woman wants to do with her life.
Interesting comment. Given that women are more emotional than men, whenever things get difficult they will or may break up the marriage, perseverance goes out of the window. Men should be worried.
I know many instances within Muslim marriages where the man has cheated or done drugs and left their job sometime into a long marriage with kids so of course the woman has to break it off! I have no trust in a man hence I want to work to be stable myself in fear of that happening to me. Indeed the fitnah of women is scary for our men
if you are muslim, then I suggest you go learn about your religion and what marriage is and the rulings for it. Of course I wouldn't want someone with such attitude towards marriage to raise my children. I can tell you are a working woman because you sound like you think of marriage as an employment contract..
I have to say I am thankful we don't have these debates in modern Muslim Africa. 😊🥰. Dear brothers, if you allow your daughters to go to school, then it is only logical that she follows a profession. I am happy my dad gave me the same opportunity as he gave my brothers! I am the eldest of the family and today, I take care of my parents financially. That is a blessing! Also in our context, there are nannies, maids at home, cooks, and family members who are helping with the kids so the parents can work and have a balanced life. So for that I am grateful.
@@StriveforJannah2 Nah it doesn't take a community at least not literally but the parents should be the ones raising the kids right coz the community/society is going crazier each day and you don't want your child to be brainwashed by them at the critical age.
Sister Fati, your answer is in your own comment. It’s not your responsibility to support your parents. Your brothers exist for a reason. What you are doing is commendable but understand that your children are your priority. May Allah guide us all to walk the righteous path.
@@StriveforJannah2 Explain to me why you would let another woman raise the kids you are supposed to raise? Replacing one woman with another woman. Explain this logic
This was actually a good one. And it's encouraging to find muslim women with these kind of views with the wide spread of feminism. Women: I don't agree with the perceived notion that MOST men do not provide. There are lots of good men out there and if they followed the islamic regulations and had the correct priorities, they'll find real men. Men: I don't agree with the men as they seem to say we don't need women to have careers. We need them as doctors, teachers and many other beautiful careers. As far as she doesn't forgo rights of husband. I think it's difficult but possible. And as a man, I believe you should be able to support her once in a while if she's in a job that's helping the ummah.
If you're a kind man who respects and loves me. Puts effort to keep the romantic spark alive by being spontaneous etc. Provides and will buy things that aren't a necessity but things I want for my own happiness, things I'd buy for myself if I had a job. Helps out every now and then. Any woman would give up their career for you!!! We wanna feel loved and appreciated and happy. There's a lot of men that don't do half of them things, that's why we don't wanna give it up easily. When you go to work you get to be an adult environment, when you are at home being around kids doesn't allow you to stretch your mind and interact with other adults. Women miss that!!
@@purplespark8 spoken like a true deluded, self-centered man. Nobody said women shouldn't do any work. You clearly aren't educated on the matter. Women have obligatory roles assigned by Allah to care at home. Cooking,cleaning and caring takes time as well and more care then your job will ever require. That's why men won't cook because they find it way too hard to comprehend. Your dad went to work and mum looked after you, that is moderate, is it not? Shut your mouth next time:)
@@purplespark8 so giving up a career and years of education for the husband is not sacrificing? Men are islamically should be the provider, provider means keeping food on the table but also making sure his wife's well being is to up to par. That just means being loving towards her, which should be the bare minimum for any healthy relationship.
@@tahiya450 Yes men are supposed to provide, but they shouldn't be expected to provide more than they can. For a woman, giving up career is not a sacrifice. They do it just for time pass
mashAllah , Jazakallah kahir, I've learnt a lot from this episode. This was a great discussion, a lot of us young brothers and sisters growing up in this western society have been indoctrinated with liberal and feministic ideologies from a young age, therefore, its so important that we understand the gender roles from an islamic perspective.
I don’t know why the panelists are assuming that opinionated, educated career women have masculine characteristics and will debate on trivial issues. I and my husband both are researchers/ scientists and Alhamdulillah we are happier than our friends where the wife is not working. Please have a more realistic view of marriages by following statistics from married working Muslim couples.
MashAllah, the end is exactly what our mentality should be, the brother said it perfectly. We have to protect our families, ESPECIALLY in the west where there is a huge push to liberalize and sexualize our children. Putting our children in daycares is putting them in the way of harm in most cases.. the schools are on a whole other level especially here in the States. We as women have to protect our families from these agendas and ideologies. We have to start focusing more on our deen and learning it so we can pass it on to our children and continue to raise strong Muslims generations. I work full time and have a 21 month old little girl and it breaks my heart every time I have to leave her in the hands of someone else.. my husband is working hard for me to be able to stay home with her by the end of this year in sha Allah. We will have to live very frugally but it will be worth it for the upbringing of her. May Allah protect us all
Bless your heart women, i wish some of our sisters in Saudi realize the insane gifts that were given to them, they want the exact opposite of what you want. I look at so many of them in social media and a little in real life saying in their marriage contract that they want to go out whenever they *want* , forgetting that it's not a cultural thing for the wife to ask permission from her husband to go out, but rather a command from Allah. Same for polygamy 🤷🏻
@@Nox-02 The divorce issue in Saudi is real, many young men/women are not understanding that marriage is something sacred. They get married, have the slightest upset with their respective spouse and throw a tantrum and file for a divorce. The feminist movement is highly disliked in Saudi, people are not that gullible yet. but some foreign capitalistic behaviors have been recently seeping into our lifestyles. such as women having a career and hiring a nanny to take care of the kids just so she can have an income of her own.
@@Hamza-uh6oy thanks for responding. Do young people have issues getting married or is it easy and do theses relationship last ? Here in France bro its unreal the divorce rate is crazy, I honestly think at least 1/3 if not 1/2 of the marriages here end up by divorce and dont last 10 to 15 years. Men and women really need to learn why they are getting married and whats their roles and right and be careful of talaq.may الله عز وجل bless you and protect us from these fitan
@@Nox-02 Mahr is increasingly getting expensive just like everything. And about the divorce rate that's insane! our divorce rate has increased 600% in the last decade, and its at around 12-13% of marriages right now. But recently they made compulsory counseling sessions for couples who want to divorce, which lowered the divorce rate by 22%
Honestly I would prefer a wife that works from home, and prioritises family over work. However if she is a doctor I would not mind her working outside, because then in my opinion her role is very important for society, it may lead to me contributing more towards kids but if she is saving lives then that's more important. This is my personal view that comes from my understanding of Islam as human life is valued so much in Islam.
Lol brother. Yes. Have her work while you are doing the child bearing. How noble of you. I am in the medical industry. It is an extremely extremely malignant and difficult industry. You would seriously send your wife out to deal with other male doctors and patients who may get physical with her, just because she "is important to society"? Have her work part time while you pick up the slack. Mashallah there are many ways nowadays to not have to work 40+ hours a week as a Doctor.
Lol you think there will be no doctor if she isn't a doctor? Statistics show that working women are less happier and way more likely to get divorced. In light of this, a real man would not want their wife to work except in certain difficult financial situations
Hi i am a muslim and doctor and my husband is a doctor too.we have been married since last 13 years,He works hard,pays all the bills,takes care of us physically and emotionally.he is a high value man (who is not interested in polygamy which inspires low value men alot these days,sorry to burst your bubble,Sir not every man is polygamous,some men value loyalty,self control and peace of family life above all,what is the difference between humans and animals if humans have no self control and conscience).we have a nice house with three kids(we take care of them and we never hired a nanny),i work part time,we manage household with cooperation and compassion which are lacking in such kind of guys,thank God there are men like my husband and many others like him,because of which nice women are surviving in this era,where such kind of host type people inspired by andrew tate type of people push their version of islam over others just for publicity.Who is somebody to tell women what kind of passion or profession they can choose or pursue if that profession is respectable and within islamic limits.if someday i am exhausted and need mental break from household duties and COOKING (around which this host guy's merital life revolve around which he thinks is the only passion a woman should have),my husband helps even cooks and never start making a big deal out of it.we have emotional intelligence,education and i.q to deal with each other in all situations.he is supportive and i respect and support him,marriage is all about compassion,emotional intelligence and cooperation.finally Sir what made you think that a doctor would like to marry you,if you dont match her mental level and intelligence,no Sir women which are at certain level of respectable place in society are self assured and know their value and they would not be in a marriage,if a man has not self control and has an intention of second marriage just because he can,what kind of woman that would be who wants to remain in the marriage with you and expect another woman to share his husband,.many high value,intelligent men know that women have mental capabilities for science and stuff like that, not only just COOKING,and women can be sometimes tired too just like men after work no big deal, and yes most of the time compassionate and respectable husbands provide for their family with honour and dignity(without looking down at their wives because of wives' financial dependency on husbands)but there are also many persons with low level of emotional intelligence and calibre,who just misuse islam and finances to manipulate and abuse women because,she does not have a source of income and career(and who had decided to stay at home to feed their husband's ego with COOKING the FOOD),who even thinks that a woman has an expiry date years 18-28 after which they can marry again and thrust the lessons of sabr,tolerance and logics(to remain in an emotionally abusive marriage)because of kids on the women)and some women may decide to leave their TEACHING job (if they were qualified and competent enough at first place to progress in that field)remain even in an emotionally abusive polygamous marriage if it suits them because they are financially dependent on man and can't have their own opinion) sorry i was disappointed to know about such level of point of views,please try to stop manipulating minds of people just for making such type of videos and trying to become famous by becoming the andrew tate of muslims,,There are many many millions of high calibre,compassionate and hard working men in this world who deserve and get respect in their houses like kings even without demanding it,you do get what you bring to the table,sorry if my comment hurt somebody.regards
I notice some brothers may ask non mahram women inappropriate questions or bring women (who are struggling to cover correctly or not adorn themselves,i hope one day they find the ease to do so) onto their discussions online,but they won't bring their own wives and daughters online and do the same(which doesn't mean they should). As men what happened to having protection over your sisters even if they are not your daughters or wives? What do we think the Scholars would say? It's a matter of aiding each other to Jannah and not to the fire. If men fixed themselves maybe part of the women would fix, if women fixed themselves maybe part of the men would fix.
In the U.K kids be at school during work hours. Plus people work from home so, women can work at home while they look after it. There's soo many options.
Most men want a womans financial support and to live with his family. Most men are not ready for marriage. As for that 17yo boy how many 30 40 yo women has he shared a conversation with. At for the guy i glasses he dosent want a woman to make more money than him.
When my first was born, i continued working as a teacher. My mother looked after my son and I still came home, took care of him, cooked dinner for hubby, cleaned and did everything else that i could to take care of my family. I agree that a woman should not be career DRIVEN or ORIENTATED although, in good balance there’s not harm in her working… I think women should focus on being a mother, wife and home maker BEFORE she focuses on $$$. If your child is at day care 4 or 5 days a week from 6.30am - 6pm… thats a problem. Ali Dawah is speaking too absolutely.
MashaAllaah tabaraka Allah Allahuma bareek, I prefer my wife to be with the children. Grand parents spoil their grand children generally and from my experience.
Having some women in the workforce for essential services like teaching and medical care is good. These are sacrifices made for the betterment of society. However, we shouldn’t pretend like a mother who is absent from her child’s life won’t make a difference in their upbringing. It may be a hard pill to swallow but being clear avoids the trap we see today where women think part time mothers can raise their kids just as good as full time mothers.
Serious question: do the men on this show not provide for their parents? How do they have all this money to pay for everything by themselves? It wouldn’t be possible for him to pay the mortgage, bills and groceries. Stop using this disgusting phrase ‘boss babe’ for women who help their husbands financially. Women are rewarded for this surely. There’s women doing it all and burning themselves out because their husbands and family need help.
The way he talks about women is disgusting. Telling us we should prioritise marriage in our ‘prime’ years before we get ugly . The prophet would never talk about women like this
Ali brother i agree with you on a-lot of the things you said. I left my career as a solicitor so i can stay at home for the kids. When their old enough to look after themselves I will go bk to it In sha Allah if it’s written for me.
As long he is able paying all the bills , full for his wife , his children costs and has no money issues, it will work. Because , Today's problem is also from men side , as many of them can't pay for the life of their dreams and some totally ignore their financial responsibilities even. And also from women because many once they get job money become too independent, and often forget where to focus more and what is priority. Only when both work as a team in honest transparent way and focus on priorities first, will the marriage work.
I cannot believe that this is a discussion. Some women do not have a passion for a specific career, and that’s fine, some women love staying at home and cooking and taking care of children, while other women need to be doing more. All these women are valid, and their needs deserve to be respected. Bear in mind that in Islam, a woman’s role is not to cook and clean, this is something that women should be doing voluntarily, if they wish. A husband and a wife should be helping one another in taking care of household chores and raising their children - that’s sunna - or are men now better than the prophet (PBUH). Taking care of the children and raising them to be good Muslims is the role of the father and the mother. It’s a shared responsibility. The wife therefore has the time, like the husband, to work if she chooses. Working women are wonderful mothers, because they’re used to multi-tasking and doing a lot in a short span of time. Women who work also gain valuable experience and knowledge that enrich their contribution to the family unit. Women who work provide their children with a great role model in determination, work ethic, perseverance, etc. they also teach their children to be self-reliant, something that is vitally missing in some of the Muslim world today - certainly where I come from where we have an abundance of man babies and women babies - to be fair in this point, some working moms also spoil their children out of over-compensation - my mom did that - but I don’t think the majority do this, they just wouldn’t have the time 😅(which is a good thing!) From personal experience and observation of the women around me, staying at home and not working at all is soul crushing for a woman and chisels away at her self-confidence, because however loving her family is, they will never validate her talents and competencies as a career would. Financial independence is also a huge point. I think financial independence for women is crucial. It gives women the ability to feel secure in her relationship, even though the husband is obliged to financially support her, and it gives her the strength to leave an abusive toxic relationship (I’m talking here about really abusive relationships -physical abuse etc. - that women are forced to endure, because they would be destitute and poor in the street if they leave) Finally working women make for more interesting wives. Rather than having a wife that is sitting at home waiting for her husband to come home, only to bombard him with incessant chatter (something no husband wants to face after a very long and tiring work day😅). You see she’s stuck with the kids all day, and really needs to have a meaningful conversation with an adult 😂 and the expectation is that her husband is now here to entertain her. Obviously that is not the case with all women, but quite a few. The point is, when a woman has a full life, when she is happy and feels fulfilled and appreciated as a human being, she will be able to make others around her happy too. Limiting a woman’s role to the home is just sad.
working women are too tired and spent to do any kind of multi tasking at home and more importantly don't have time to commit to a relationship in the first place. also financial independence is a recipe for divorce and if its the only way for you to feel secure in a relationship, then you're setting yourself up for failure
@@cooljool1 it seems that you are either too young, or too sheltered to have known many working women. Your comment contradicts the reality people are living.
the reality is that working or career oriented women are simply unattractive and dont make good marriage partners. I'm already allhumdillah and my women is a SAHM@@amk210
I have tried being both and only become a stay at home mum once my marriage broke down. Now I’m a single stay at home mum and my kids father still pays for our living expenses. I must say I am soo much happier as a non career woman home schooling my 2 kids. mornings are dedicated to hifz and afternoons are for education and sports. Loving life Alhamdulillah and I thank my kids father everyday for supporting us. May Allah make it easy for all my Muslim sisters to be secure and happy Ameeen.
Allahumma barek, may i please ask? He sounds like A great man masha Allah and Allah knows beat, after divorce not many men provide for their kids let alone their ex wife too! I honestly wonder about the reason for this divorce?
@@ummrus6951 yes he is a very good man but unfortunately before our divorce we were Muslims living a western lifestyle there wasn’t much Deen in our day to day life that was why our marriage fell apart. I was working and trying to juggle 100 things a day. We started seeking forgiveness from Allah swt once we started living separately. At the time I was seeking help from a religious lady (may Allah bless her) and she opened my eyes to the correct way of the sunnah life. I have not looked back since. I am so much calmer happier and I don’t care about the worldly luxury’s. I’m happy with the basics Alhumdullah
@@ummrus6951 I need to add that my life has been made easier only because Allah swt placed imann in my ex husband heart too. May Allah keep him steadfast for the sake of our kids.
This crisis which was created by the new modern society and the advancement of technology is making both men and women (especially in Islam) CONFUSED. (it was inevitable to happen). The earlier times were simple yet difficult and painful. Now, the time is difficult, complex and complicated (not simple at all). More job roles, more technological advancements, more education, more access to knowledge, and more opportunities (which is absolutely great that comes with a cost); where people are losing focus on the CORE requirement (have a stable family and know what is your role as a "mother/woman" and as a "father/man"). back in the day, the logic was, Men = hunt and protect (masculine), Women = cook, and care (feminine). Nowadays, EVERYONE IS ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING! Where is the balance? When we don't even know what our roles should be, how can you expect both men and women to be living harmoniously? May Allah give everyone a loving, unbiased, LOGICAL, SANE, non-toxic partner in their lives. What a messed-up world we are living in right now! I am afraid of who I might get for myself. Only trusting Allah in everything and doing my part to become a good person. There are so many variables you need to be careful of your surroundings these days when YOU ARE NOT EVEN AWARE OF THOSE EVIL/ PARAMETERS EXIST.
As a women, I really liked this discussion. It is important for women to know what men find desirable and not shame them for it. Neither men nor women get everything they want but certain things should be non-negotiable like wives must respect and obey their husbands. Marriage only completes half of your deen when you actually perform the roles that you are supposed to perform. Also, women must admit that they will never marry a man of a lower socioeconomic status than them. So if the solution is for her to not pursue a college education and a career, will she do it? P.S. I feel like much of the male/female dynamics that I see being discussed in the past few months are a result of Brother Andrew Tate's influence. May Allah protect him and increase him in Iman.
This was so depressing to listen to. "Men in general do not want a career orientated wife in the long run" - says who and if so, why? Why should any man expect their partner to cook, clean, and do other domestic chores around the house, and why can't those men share the duties without the expectations of having things done for them. Afterall you're not living with your mum anymore. Provide, protect, love, listen, cry, pray, communicate sure, and support your partner with her career, let your women grow and flourish. The lady in black cardigan speaks so much sense, you really should've let her speak rather than being interrupted more often than not.
career oriented women are generally unattractive because of their personalities, because they're economically dysfunctional- their line of work is not compatible with starting a family- and because men don't select for careers/status in women- they tend to look at other things e.g. beauty, personality, things like cooking etc... There's no use complaining about men's preferences and expectations for women. They are what they are. cooking is an essential skill, if you don't know how to cook as a woman, you're not marriage material regardless of how many degrees you have or the career you pursue. Men are not plow horses and expectations are part of marriage too. You seem to think men should just give without getting something back in return. It doesn't work that way because we aren't here to be plow horses for women
And any men who is ready to be the provider and responsible for his family is women dream. But reality is different nowdays most men on muslim marriage websites always ask the woman financial statut and job..
@wintertiger4217 you need to understand a mother there to look after her kids a dad is there to teach them lessons that's it, he doesn't have to be there all the time
@@notafeminist5948 Sis those men don't matter. Know that the men willing to fully adhere to Islamic roles are rare just like the women. Find and approach the one's that really practices the Deen. Prioritize his Piety and Character.
@@notafeminist5948 why do you go on these websites? On p***n sites , I can see many women , so I assume that you will be doing the same? Will it be a true comparison?
To my sisters out there, if have an interest in not working don’t be afraid to tell to your friends and the man you’ll speak. If they judge for your choice, they simply don’t have the same values. Your value is not wrong in Islam. Society has now pressured us to believe that we need to work. Stand up for your values and beliefs and don’t let people push you over. Wether on homosexuality, feminism, work, abortion, etc.
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Assalaamualaykum brother! You should talk to men & women who are Muslim and are from the Asian countries like India, Pakistan etc. the girls want to work and make their own money because husbands don’t want to spend even if they are earning well.
Ali dawah is a red pill clown.. dont give him a single pound
Amazing 👏 part 2 needed brother Ali. There needed to be more videos like this.
It was kind of funny to me to see the attitude of men and women in this panel, in which my brothers in Islam seemed to be more shy than my sisters. (I felt more hayaa' energy from them, especially smile2jannah may Allah bless him)
May Allah guide and protect us all.
If there would be no career women who’s gonna teach the women later on? Who’s gonna be the Doctor who attend this women? Who’s gonna carry these roles where we women ourself supposed to need?
Note: Islam is not what men want, Islam is about what Allah wants.
Thank you
Goes both ways, but gender based narciscism is just sad
Not what men nor women want. In the noble Qur'an Al'lāh draws the picture of providing men.
And Allah wants women to be obedient to their men.
Islam is what the Quran and the prophet(saw) taught and the prophet’s wives fully covered their faces and also never left the house for no reason. They weren’t feminists either, they were obedient women. Unlike most women in the West nowadays, including muslim women that grew up here from childhood.
For the next session like this please have wives and husbands on to discuss how the marriage works and who has what role. Single people discussing marriage is nice but a married perspective is even better. Thank you
I completely agree
Very well said
Absolutely agree. Single sisters want advice on how to get married but refused to lissen to brothers and sisters who are married and have a successful marriage Alhamdulilah.
yes
@Ibrahim Khan one thats not controlling
After watching this video, it clearly shows the heart of the problem - We don't treat marriage as an act of ibadah (worship). Instead, it is all about our nafs (ego) - what I feel to be good or bad. We should put The Qur'an & The Sunnah first before our feelings, BOTH men and women. Consult with the people of knowledge who are specialised in marriage and take their advice if they provided evidences from The Qur'an & The Sunnah. Learn the fiqh of marriage before getting married.
thank you!!
Are you living in the stone ages? modern world also functions. you need to adapt to the changing environment or else all these muslim countries are going to be sitting ducks
@@thefishychannel1420 no one wants to copy the sheer divorce rate and single mother epidemic
@@alphauno6614 yes true but they also don't WANT to give up their careers.
@thefishychannel1420 You cannot have both. Women with careers often have gotten characteristics that make them worse wives. I know men who let their wife work and then in arguments the wife have reminded him that he doesn't provide for everything. No one has time for that nonsense.
Khadijah (RA) who was the mother of the believers had 3 daughters from her first 2 marriages and she was also an entrepreneur. She divided her time between upbringing her daughters and expanding her business. And even after getting married to the Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), they both continued to run their business together. Khadijah (RA) did her due allegiance to her children, family, religion despite being a business woman. I think Finding the balance between the two can be hard but its definitely possible .
Source?
@@khanmaryam2012 This is basic knowledge. If you don't know this I suggest you look more into the life of the prophet (saw) and his wives
She wasn’t going out working 8-12 hours a day. Instead she had staff that did the heavy lifting,. Can’t exactly use her example
@@stormavicious okay you do you. This video is about women who voluntarily spend time with non mahrem men being all sweet and chummy for no necessary reason.
@@alphauno6614 bro get a life
As a housewife this pressure from other woman is true I can’t count how many times other woman have said to me o your just a housewife? Don’t you want to work? What do you do all day? And it’s very degrading I love cooking and cleaning and taking care of my children and teaching them our values. I don’t want to leave that to some other person in a daycare. I understand sometimes you have no choice but to work but once your married if you have married a good man he needs to take the role of a provider. And if he wants you to pay for everything and can’t take on that role then he wasn’t ready for marriage
May Allah reward you. My wife does the same, she did some work from home using a hobby she was good at but apart from that, she just wants to raise the kids. If I was a woman, I'd love to be a housewife, who wants to deal with bosses, colleagues, customers 9-5
You're not just a housewife but the head teacher of your own children's madrasah ( school). So what people say should not put you down. Don't forget you're raising Muhammad saw Ummah. As a man, I would never ever be able to do what you can do. Heads up sister👍👍🤲🤲
@@watvid1exactly I use to work in customer service before I met my husband and I’d never want to go back to that. I help my husband with some of the administrative side of his business but my priorities are our children and our home and his needs
You may not realize this right now but your kids will appreciate you so much when they become adults inshAllah may Allah bless you and your family
@@skyedouglas7109 the government hates this they want women to work to more people more money they don’t care about any rights or anything just MONEY
“A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
― Dave Meurer
Exactly. There is NO perfect couple. Just happy couples who know how to respect each other, embrace differences and aim to bring up children in a calm environment.
This quote is misleading
@@Nope991 Probably you, unfortunately, met the wrong person or are not marriage material, at all!
@@esthellakomerl8084 Absolutely, thanks :)
@@DestinyToParadise Neither. I just can see things and understand things you can't. If you don't delete this comment and it misleads people I hope Allah hold you accountable for it. Just because you're causing harm to society. I can understand the quote clearly but many will not.
Working woman here, for the passed 11years. I have had to, it’s tough, I feel like I’ve missed out on my kids childhood. I’m tired, my most deepest wish is for my husband to sole provider, and give me a chance to be the traditional wife and mother I want to be. I wish I could homeschool my kids , it’s very needed right now. The home environment today in these times,is the most important thing. And this is how we contribute to building a solid Ummah!
I felt it too sis, we moved to another city from London us to be able to afford for me to stay at home for few years. However now it's hard getting back to the work field since I've been home last 3 year. But also part time job that at least cover the kids costs and extra pocket money. It's really damned if you do damned if don't. Also my mum always works and was sole provider.. And she inspired me to be a go getter. I hope your kids value this.
Ali, with all due respect. Let the other men speak. If you're short on time, facilitate more time for the discussions. The whole thing becomes useless when the points and discussions are constantly getting cut short. Great format of a show, looking forward to more.
Ali won't pay any attention to advice in comments either. He only likes comments that praise him. He needs to learn and improve. I find him hard to watch.
@@dm_1236 Or you can give him advice on how to improve instead of having the mindset to dish him and replace with him someone else. This is more beneficial.
stop blue pilling
Yes i agree. I ll suggest you people to watch Youth clubs podcasts. Those are really well thought, on point, totally relatable and extremely calm and informative.
I feel like Ali should be part of the panel as oppose to being the host. The job of the host is to be the unbias party who direct the discussion and conversation rather than give their own views of the topic. They are also there
to challenge and question responses of panelists so there is depth to understanding their views of a given topic.
I also feel like the kick off question was a very loaded question and it lacked context which is why panelists took the discussion anywhere they wanted, so when the discussion lacked a focal point and an aim, it becomes too broad and lacks depth.
I think the topic needed an introduction to present context of our current society or where its heading regarding gender roles. Explain whats the issue, why its an issue, define terms, are we discussing of extreme cases of the topic, are they becoming more prevalent.
Great start however, this discussion just lacked context and a strong aim.
Just my feedback hehe😅
Being a doctor and contributing to the community is one of the most noble professions there are. And some areas like women health, child's health and mental health, we still need women in this. And having issues of having women to work as doctors (unlike being corporate bosses), is dangerous.
This same men will seek female doctors to treat their wives in the hospital
Agreed. It's different a women being a doctor or one working in retail by choice ofcourse
This pretext of “muh we need wahmen doctor” is so played out and low iq atp. We know your *real* agenda that you’re trying to shoehorn
There are a lot of other treatments methods other than the allopathy that are effective more than the allopathy itself. In India, we have aquipuncture treatment which only require one year course ( i know many people personally) and they cured many major diseases like cancer and other health problems which required surgeries. Alhamdulillah. They don't have any side effects like surgeries and other drugs. Some of them even work as midwives, from their experiences they had dealt many delivery complications according to allopathy which would have resulted in c- section.
One example
A woman broke her water a day or two ( i don't remember exactly how many days but it's still early) before her delivery and the baby comes out fine.
This is not just one case but they had a few similar cases like this. So I don't think we need a allopathy doctors as much as we think. Only a few will be enough. In case if any other treatments doesn't not work for some people.
@@jeslaabduljaleel8518 the funny thing is, why I was listening to this video, there was an advertisement. Of course, the Islamic one. They talked about how we have to channel the skills/blessings that we have to help people with no access to it like people in war crisis/poverty. One area we are still lacking of is healthcare
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: “The best among you are those who are best to their wife. (Ibn Majah)
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said:“The most complete of the believers in faith, is the one with the best character. And the best of you are those who are best to their women.” (Tirmidhi)
"And the righteous women are devoutly obedient to their husbands"(Qur'an)
"IF they abide by your right THEN to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well never to be unchaste."
(Prophets(saw) last khutba)
So clearly, obedience to the husband comes before you getting your rights and being treated in the best way.
And we obey to our husband only in obedience to Allah.
i see u everywhere
@@sobragranchester4350 There is no daleel for your statement.
The statement of Allah, "the righteous wives are obedient (to their husbands)" is a generic statement. It makes no distinction on what matters the husband should or shouldn't be obeyed.
However we also know of the statement, "there is no obedience to the creation when it entails disobedience to Creator"
Hence the scholars say that the husband should be obeyed in ALL MATTERS except the commandments which disobey Allah.
Girls if you want to be a housewife that’s okay but GET THAT EDUCATION! Depend on a man because you want, not because you need to.
I couldn't agree more my sister. I have the experience first-hand. I have known such a woman since I was born. She was a clinical doctor before her 4th child, but then became a housewife to take better care of her children, may Allah SWT grant her Jannat-ul-firdous. But the money her husband sent was so little(he was working abroad), her children would've lived a very unhappy life if she wouldn't have stepped up, used her education, gotten a PG and get employed as a professor in a medical school. She lived her youth only for her children. Now that I am mature enough, I think it is completely wrong to leave your wife for years and only visit her for a week every year! And the husband was evidently not liked by the children because whenever he would visit, he made the house the constraint of any joy whatsoever, the children had a few hours of happiness when he would leave the house to meet his friends. They would watch cartoon, which he didn't allow them when he was present in the house. The only good quality he had to offer for his children was discipline and fortunately made them good better at school. The Mother was the children's source of everything, she is beloved & cherished by all. She is still unmarried, providing for her two daughter's living expenses, education and so much more while the other two kids are living with their father to pursue higher education. The kids with the father have noticed significant changes in the man's behavior as he is getting old and now, he's more softer in approach, but as they say, people don't change so much..he still has a tendency of making the kids unhappy. He is controlling but loves his kids, he's working hard for them to provide for them, maybe..he has realized what mistakes he has made and is trying to do better. But he will be unforgiven by his children for what he done to them and their mother and most importantly to all of them, as a family. May Allah give them enough strength so that they can forgive their father. So my beloved sisters, I encourage you to get educated to a degree where if unfortunately, the time comes, you are not miserable and dependent on a bad husband. May Allah SWT bless us with a husband who is pious, has deen and akhlaakh. A Husband who practice his Hijab correctly, is a good father to your children, abides by the laws of Islam, has good compatibility with you , you both bring peace into each other's life and most importantly, you both bring each other closer to Allah. Ameen😌🤲🏻✨🤍
yuppp!!!
@@hellokitty10117Exactly, we need female gynecologist, nurses, doctors, physical therapist, teachers etc.
I think there are certain jobs where women are required, for example : when I take my wife to a hospital to give birth I would like for her to be treated by a female doctor(this can be applied to any form of healthcare activity) . Women can be teachers to teach other girls and women in school, or be store owners for women-only shops and such and such. In fact, women's active implication in society reduces gender mixing because women can just work and shop and be active in female exclusive spaces most of the time, it's really a win win deal.
The idea that all women should stay at home is actually unrealistic and never have been the case in our Islamic history. The main concern of the early scholars was to prevent haram relationships outside of marriage, that was their priority, not erasing women from the public sphere.
Please do tell us what is so empowering about women going to university for subjects like gender studies?
@kuro saigatsu there is nothing wrong with that, you have a materialistic way of looking at education. What if a woman wants to study physics because she just enjoys physics.
@@SJ-yd6ziliterally nobody mentioned gender studies . What are you on
Yup I agree its unislamic to condemn and say most women sole purpose in life is to stay at home cook clean and tend to their husband. Lots of Muslim women have dreams aspirations in life I’m currently in school for aerospace engineering. It’s a way to keep women always in need of a man and stay since being financially dependent on a persons mean you will put up with alot of things 🙃
I agree no way would I have wanted man helping me give birth
Make part 2 and please let Zeeshan speak alot more. He makes the best points and is also very articulate Mashallah
Agreed
Yes bro Ali didn't let other brothers speak 😄
his last point was not good
It’s a shame that this current climate was not discussed and how difficult it is to survive as a family on one income. This seems like realistic common circumstances faced by many married couples/families.
If you can’t survive with one income that means your job isn’t that impressive. That means you will have no problem moving to another area that is cheaper. Problem solved
It should be mentioned that sometimes both parents have to work in this expensive time. I think and we shouldn’t shame those couples we should encourage them to work hard and find a way to eventually get to a financial means where the father can be the sole provider and the mother can stay with the kids. We can’t always talk about the ideal situation
@@nadyayousef6886 This video wasn’t referring to people in poverty. You do what you have and God will reward you.
Reduce your expenses. You need baraka.
Definitely your income is not less than Hazrat Ali (ra)
@@nadyayousef6886 100% correct. Alot of these discussions are bassed on ideals as apposed to reality.
Bit disappointed with the men’s side here. Usually find myself agreeing with what a lot of Zeeshan and Ali have to say. In this particular scenario there wasn’t much explanation of their opinions against a woman’s career other than making quite big, and at times extreme, assumptions or just saying buzzwords such as “boss babes” or “feminism”. It would have been a more fruitful discussion if they listened a bit more to what was said and responded with a well thought out rebuttal rather than just blurting out buzzwords.
Daniel Haqiqtjou would’ve been the guy to bring to this conversation
Bit Disappointed with Zeeshaan to be honest, he normally is very open minded and wise but on this discussion I didn't agree with his notion that a career woman would have "masculine traits" . There are so many couples who both work in order to have a comfortable life, paying the mortgage for example would require two incomes in the home, we live in a high inflation society so the wife working sometimes is out of necessity, but that doesn't mean she's going to act like a "boss" at home....
This kind of comment from men stems from his own insecurities.
Women nowadays like to be financially independent and they
do not want to depend on her husband especially if the husband is miserly and she has to beg or justify her every penny spent, so if she wants to earn her own money,OR wants to support her husband financially, what's wrong with that?
Doesn't mean a Career woman will have masculine traits because of it...don't forget Hadhrat Khadijah was a business woman so by definition also a working woman or a career woman.
Brother Zeeshaan is a teacher by profession....i find it very disturbing that he thinks married woman should not have careers. I hope he's not teaching this nonsense to little girls and boys in his classroom. He should be encouraging Girls to have a good education and be intellectual's with good careers to serve the society. Not teaching them to become full-time Housewives!
(By the way i have nothing against full-time Housewives, i am a stay-at-home-mum myself so please don't jump on the "Feminist!" Bandwagon!)
Brother Zeeshan was fair, there is a difference between having a job and being career oriented... reality is a human can only truly focus properly on 1 thing at a time. And Islamically child education comes first. However if a couple have no children, then women have more freedom to work/job....but I personally would never marry a career oriented woman who's first priority is her career. Action speaks louder than words.
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ ".
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
Sahih al-Bukhari 5090
sunnah.com/bukhari:5090
@@nazimashaikh3921 I'm a house-wife too and I also am getting abit concerned about the way some brothers seem to have this one size fits all attitude to marriage. Good points raised by you.
@@Shahid-if4ws
None of the brothers were fair. The question itself was a loaded one and doesn't apply to the average Muslim women who work out of necessity. Sure, towards the end they clarified they're talking about the extreme cases where a woman selfishly prioritizes career over everything else. No one agrees with that even the sisters. But the sisters were put in a position to explain the scenarios where working becomes a necessity and the brothers were like okay this or that scenario is okay until they mentioned they're talking about the extreme cases. I don't think Muslim women would also prefer selfishly career oriented men who prioritize money & career advancement over everything else.
No one on either side prefers the extreme. This would have been less argumentative if the question was phrased better.
I always dreamed of being a housewife as well as a novelist and dressmaker. I also want to have an online writing class where all the work can be done at home without leaving the obligations as a wife and mother. I hope it comes true when I get married.
I hope you find your match. Personally I would marry a person with similar priorities as you and most reasonable Muslim men would as well.
Salaam,
I have to say that the women present a point of view that's more grounded in reality. I say this as an imam who's seen and dealt with dozens of marriage scenarios. The brothers, specifically Ali and Zeshaan (whose content I very much appreciate and recommend), are more focused on the ideological debates of Speaker's Corner which are not reflective of the average family.
Please continue to have these conversations.
Well said
Don’t request a female doctor for your wife then if she’s not allowed to be a doctor herself. Don’t put restrictions on women and pick and choose what they should and shouldn’t do
He never said that. He said that they can focus on their careers after having their kids.
There’s nothing wrong with a woman being cared for by a male doctor if a female one is not available. I’m fact it’ll be better since they have more experience
@@alphauno6614 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it but a man like him would most likely request a female doctor for his wife. There would be no female doctors left in the world if all men stopped their wives from being doctors. Allah has given free will but these men take it away from women and dictate their lives
This!!! 👏🏼
@@mo.sharif1 what's wrong with working before having kids they need to stay busy
Dear everyone
I am a full time working mom. And let me say… there will never be a day where I will never have food prepared or dinner sorted. The key is organisation. Women are multi-tasker pros! Also, the key is to get married in your twenty’s and have your children soon after. Do not chase the carrot! Even if you reach the highest in your career it is only temporarily and the reward is short-lived. Motherhood is completely rewarding SubhanAllah
A lot of women in my society do the same ... and their kids are actually doing pretty fine .
@@lavande5252 not true. Most kids today aren’t as disciplined like they used to be
@@humzanafees9348 I hear you and it is our current day jihad really- ensuring the Akhlaq of our children is the most difficult job. Allah make it easy for us all. I do feel that we should not compare the way we grew up to how our kids behave with us. If a child is rude or Ill tempered , don’t match their mood at that time. Disciplining children these days has more to do with tact and less to do with punishment.
@@humzanafees9348 there are multiple factors that contribute to that including: cartoons children watch, how their parents treat them (with love or negligence), etc..
And in many cases, there are children whose moms are home-present but that still are disrespectfully turbulent, violent towards other children, etc.. Because moms are humans too. So a mom could be a good human or a bad human. Same thing for dads.
Some people (and therefore moms) teach their children to only care about themselves and when disrespectful to others, they don´t say a word to their children. And part of these women are stay-at-home moms, meaning this happened in the past(before women even started to have jobs).
Besides, children go to school now, so by even if the mom stays at home, her children will not be there. So it isn´t necessary.
It's really nice to see hard working mothers but i just want to say that earnings in general come from allah not how hard you work so you can't say that you will never have a day where you don't have food for example there are men who work almost the whole day and still have difficulties feeding there families,
There are hadiths proofing that رزق earnings in general not just money are already written for us
It's not all or nothing, you can have a career and make it a larger or smaller part of your life depending on your situation. I worked full time until my daughter was born, then I went to remote work with very limited hours after she was born. Now alhamdilallah my kids are older and in school so I'm spending more time on work. Alhamdilallah I'm so lucky to have that flexibility. So many people need money and if I'm able to spend my free time earning money and giving in charity I think that's a blessing
its a trade-off. the flexibility you're talking about is not afforded to most people. career oriented women are not good partners because careers is not something men look for in a woman and because alot of careers make women economically dysfunctional i.e. their work is not compatible with starting a family
@@cooljool1 it’s funny you say that because women have been working for the entirety of humanity- farming, dressmaking, milk,aids, general maids have always existed Lmfao@- and they still took care of their families, it’s just the difference now is that the work is much more official. People think it’s a feminist trait to be a working woman but women have always worked and earned their money
@@vintagepotato653 it really hasn’t. Majority of women want their equal or better.
Most women want to be spoiled, look after, financial elements taken care of. He needs to earn X amount of money, someone taller stronger than them etc etc
Men very simply want someone who’s attractive and submissive. Beyond this additional things like having a job doesn’t move the needle to attract a man.
Ultimately why go and focus after things that don’t make you MORE desirable to your future spouse?
What men look for in a spouse is not the same as a woman, therefore just because women find status and wealth attractive doesn’t mean men do.
And if you CHOOSE as a women to chase and have a career you’re not adding anything to your attraction level.
If you were to learn skills and traits that were more “traditional” this would make you more attractive.
So the issue is not women can’t work or have a job it’s that men aren’t attracted by this nor does it increase the likelihood of getting married
@@laisaf_15 I see you, but the thing is women don’t do it to attract men though- although like In south Asian cultures btw families do look for what the girl does for a living, here they care about what you studied and not.
Biologically yes woman staying at home and man providing is ideal however the world doesn’t work simply on biology- there are financial situational and societal factors as well. And I agree with ali with the fact that while having children the wife should stay at home but once they’ve grown up the wife can start working- because what are u gonna do being cooped up at home all day? Women in the past were able to because they had access to nature and lived in communities but in the modern world most people live in tiny apartments where often there’s not even sunlight. And communities well most people u know lives far away and are probably busy. U see where I’m coming from
@@vintagepotato653 I see where you’re coming from to an extent.
If women don’t do it to attract men , no problem but then don’t have an expectation that the man has to agree to you working otherwise he’s backwards and oppressing.
Remember it’s not the issue of women going to work , it’s remembering majority of men don’t care especially high value guys who are top earners.
And there is PLENTY to life than working.
Read the Quran, Learn a skill, learn art, read, watch shows, learn bakery, go out with friends, list is endless.
Sad? Talk to Allah.
Happy? Praise Allah.
Problems? Ask Allah for help.
Depressed? Cry to Allah.
Depression is a myth
@@Discipline1232 man I wish that was true
@@EV-EV-EV He responds, you just can't hear it
@@animantis But it is true, depression is a societal construct.
You never see people depressed in the third world countries even though they go through stuff on daily basis that we wouldn't even imagine and still we end up being the depressed one's.
It's a new concept that has come into reality due to people in western societies becoming too weak and emotional.
Today society tells us that it's ok to just sit and cry all day like a lil kid and play the victim but you have to realize that that's simply not ok, Feeling sad or down sometimes is one thing but it should never go any step further then that specially as someone whit a purpose in life thanks to our strong faith alhamdulillah.
Keep your head up and move forward, never forget to praise the all mighty and be grateful to him for everything you have been blessed with in this dunya.
Jazakallah khairan.
May ALLAH rant you jannah ameen
the brother in the black cap is the most reasonable man among the men present in this video. He gave me hope. Wish he had more opportunity to speak.
Also the men that keep bringing examples such as "I wouldn't want my wife to be a doctor" are the first people to demand a female doctor when their wife has to be seen
DW sister they think doctors ganna want to marry them lmao
It’s because he’s an American. There’s something in the British waters
@Total BINJIN shipper4ever #CLOY marrying someone isnt haram. The point I am making is if she is saying a man like that "gives him hope" then why dont women like her marry men like her. It's because men like that are beta and they deep down dont want those men. That is the point of my comment.
@Total BINJIN shipper4ever #CLOY Actually if you see before there is another comment saying the same thing. Women say one thing and do another. Within the men that are not for all of this women empowerment this is a common belief. It's very helpful. Because men with no experience with women will watch her speak and night believe that being that guy she is describing will make him more desirable to his future wife.
@Total BINJIN shipper4ever #CLOY then marry someone like that. And treat him like the head of the house, obey and be submissive to him.
One criticism: Ali you spoke a lot in here and didn't really let the panels from either side speak, the 17 year old boy and Zeeshan were dropping some gems and needed more time.
My parents always had 2jobs
My father: teacher in morning and evening shifts
My mother: teacher in morning and full time mother
Both worked hard to provide and nurture us❤
I personally use my spare time to learn the deen so that I can benefit my kids/family and the community by voluntarily teaching at the masjid (Allahumma baarik fiyya)
MashAllah May Allah swt bless all of our efforts and make us closer to him
May Allah increase you!
MashaAllah, thats the kind of wife every man wants
Masha’Allah May Allah swt bless you with the right knowledge & keep you steadfast on it my dear sister.
Young Muslim women can definitely 💯 learn a lot from you so they can have a peaceful, happy married life & rewarding hereafter.
To be honest if a woman thinks like you then it’s the responsibility of a man to make sure that she is well taken care of.
SubhanAllah. may Allah help you and us
Final comment: We want muslim married couples who have sound religious knowledge, to show us how to lead the family in Islamic way. This is what is currently needed.
Yes, that's so true, alhamdulillah. These people sounded more like Western ideology to me. May Allah make us amongst those who follow the Qur'an and Sunnah Aameen 🤲🏽
Yes... Everything else such as money, will take care of itself
Anyone who was looking to learn Islam from this video where no Qu'an or Sunnah was cited left empty handed. These kinds of discussions are frankly useless.
@@rq9622 If Quran and Sunnah were enough to face the modern world such discussions wouldn't be needed
@@thesarasohrabi Are u implying that Islam is incomplete? Do you understand that a muslim bases his opinion about gender roles on Islam and not some ignorant notions from his desires?
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [ Qur’an surah Ar-Rum(The Rome) 30:21)
As someone born and raised in a muslim country, far away from the west, there is nothing that made women "feminists" more than the pure reality of men here or anywhere. You literally have to go in to a marriage and give-up basic respect you'd be entitled to as a human being. Men don't even have to go to the extreme abusive character; having an atrocious temper and being verbally-abusive, belittle, ignore and entirely dismiss women as human beings is enough to kill you inside. No, I'm not talking about an exception. this is an element present in life at the baseline and therefore, yes, I am protecting myself by being a "feminist" and securing me a source of income as well as a personality other than being a feminine mother/wife. We are human beings before we are our gender and the narrative always seems to push the opposite. How is wanting to challenge and stimulate my brain with things other than chores, children and femininity- masculine? Why do you all act like getting a perfect, all-around kind person and perfect muslim as a husband is a given? it's just like the argument you dismiss the sisters with by saying they bring up exceptionally unfortunate cases. Having some sort of career and income from the wife's side IS the balance because it keeps the men in-check.
You know what's actually funny? The same men who went about sucking their wives souls, these men who love and would die for their daughters are absolutely pushing them to have the best careers and have strong personalities as they fear they'd end up like their mothers and be treated by some other guy like that.
Wow that’s horrible. I hope you are able to find the peace you are looking for. I am curious about one thing, do you believe Islam teaches men to behave like this or is it their lack of adherence to Islamic values that made them like that?
@@alphauno6614 it’s the lack of adherence for sure. The more truly devout the man is the less we see this.
@@peacefulsoul8612 and yet you are shifting towards feminism? You don’t trust God has your best interest in Islam?
@@alphauno6614 I never said I was a feminist. I put it between air quotes because our brother Ali calls us having a career as being a “feminist” and plot from the west when it’s just a simple outcome of reality even when it’s far from the west.
@@peacefulsoul8612 I’m asking what solution exists in Islam about this issue you are facing? Or is there no solution?
Hazrat Umar Ibn Al Khattab (R.A.) said: “No man can have anything better after faith (Iman) than a woman of righteous character, loving and child-bearing.”❤💞🤎🧡💛💚💙
God bless Abu Lu'lu'a Firuz :)
And what type of concubines should he have ??
@@TRUTHISKING1337 shia momment 🤡🤡🤡
@@TRUTHISKING1337 kaffir dog
@@TRUTHISKING1337 may Allah's curse be upon those who glorify the killers of umar bin khattab (ra)
as a women i would like to have a job and work while i'm married, however once i get pregnant and have children, then i would become a stay-at-home mum/wife. If i don't have children in a marriage I don't understand why stay at home and do little to nothing all day as there will not be much cleaning or cooking as there will only be two individuals living in a home.
Exactly
If u can do a work that is beneficial for ur family or the ummah without mixing with men
there many other errands you can do e.g. grocery shopping, taking clothes to the dry cleaners
U could use your free time to learn more about your Deen instead of going out for dunya purposes and mixing with wrong people. I wish I had that opportunity to b unchained from being forced to struggle for dunya so that I could do something for the Deen of my lord.
Socialising with people helps you grow.
my wife is a dentist. she would yell at me over small things and argue almost everything . and now my daughters seems to follow her traits. it broke my heart often. Sometimes i think i don't really want to care if she didn't want to be a good wife to me, but seeing my daughters slowly follow her path really make me stressed. now i'm working harder to be more successful cause i wanna give her a "golden umbrella" and i'm not turning back, i don't care. I hope she would appreciate me more when she have to share my unconditional love. pray for me guys. i just want a happy family. i really mean it, i feel stuck
edited
Guys i know i can not justify what really had been happening in comments and yes you may argue you haven't heard from her sides. I'll say of course there's also part of me in the problem as well, as nobody is perfect. The thing i'm trying to tell is as a husband personally i would avoid to start any argument at all, i would just shut up and let it go but my wife have the tendency to start an argument on silly petty things. It's like unnecessarily inviting arguments just for the sake of winning the debate. It's so weird,, sometimes i feel like i'm gonna lose it. And all those petty arguments always started when she's having bad days at work. She's wasn't like that when she was a small-time dentist. Sisters, having careers is not a problem, just don't bring home the problems and winning an argument that you plucked out of thin air is not a gain. And please learn motherly traits our mothers used to. We men/husband have to bear the sins of the whole family. A burden you can't never understand. I'm sorry if i offended you. Please pray that my daughters grow up in Allah blessings
You'll never make yourself stronger by making her weaker
May ALLAH (SWT) make your family of those who are righteous and full of happiness and love and grant you and all the Muslimeen the highest level of Jannah
Establish boundaries immediately.
Be a Rajool, have Gheerah.
Or you will end up Doormat for life.
Because every Man wants Respect deep inside his heart
Sorry but that's not acceptable, working harder won't change the situation some ground rules and basic manners are needed.
@@tbishop4961 That's not what he means at all. He just wants more of her love and affection, since it seems she's always moody and verbally abusing him. They both work, him and her and it's not fair that she thinks she can make his life miserable just because she isn't in the mood to be nice. And what makes it even worse is that their kids are following her path of unpleasantness. This is just sad. It's clear this man loves his family, but they walk all over him.
I have two daughters and I pray they grow up to be competent to give back to the ummah- either as a female doctor, teacher, counselor or islamic scholar. Yes we need more women in roles that actually help other women and families.
"Boss babes" in the making...They will be 40 and wonder "Where have all the good men gone"
@@ha6606 how is having a job a bad thing😂, you are just a selfish individual saying that men can have kids and go after their dreams, but wonem can only have kids
@@MH-bf4uu alot of jobs make you unattractive as a woman
Hope they do in Sha Allah. And hope they get amazing spouses who support them and provide for them both financially and mentally. And hope they get to serve the ummah. Aameen.
@@MH-bf4uu That's the issue though isn't it? We've put our "dreams" before what Allah SWT expects from us. Not saying women shouldn't work. The Muslim community needs women to be involved and take on professional roles. But if we put our dreams and careers before what Allah SWT expects from us, then our Muslim children are doomed to baby sisters, day cares, TV and internet to guide them. As is what is happening now. Not sure how aware you are (maybe you are and maybe you aren't) but it's shocking just how much dawah away from basic Islamic teachings is being done to our children on a daily basis. If parents aren't deeply involved in what their kids are consuming, let them not be surprised when their kids are indoctrinated and guided to a different way of life. I can' tell you how heartbreaking it is to see a father come to the masjid, crying for someone to please talk to their child who has left Islam. Working is fine for both partners. But as Muslim parents, I believe our dreams should revolve around the upbringing children that will carry on the torch of Islam with confidence and grace after we're gone. How can we do that effectively if both parents are career focused?
This is isn't a call to stop people working. But a call to balance and reevaluating our priorities and purpose in life.
The notion of the "American dream" and following your passions has been so deeply drilled into us, that the most noble thing a parent (mother or father) can do, which is raise upstanding, God fearing children, is looked down upon.
I think we need to ponder over the Hadith about Jannah being under the feet of the mother a bit more carefully. Saying that a women with kids is somehow less accomplished than a man who pursues his dreams, is the biggest lie the west has been trying to shove down our throats. Based on Quran and Hadith, Allah SWT has honored our mothers (who are indeed simply women with children) far greater than any man who might be an astronaut, a world class brain surgeon, or the CEO of Apple.
If Jannah is the greatest reward a person can attain, what does that say about value of the mother, who's feet have been placed above it?
33:38 "you cannot enter a marriage with the fear of Allah swt in your heart and say I'm getting ready to leave it" Subhanallah Allahumma barik laha
Typical feminist has a back up and waiting for first problem to leave and not rely on her husband. That mindset is dangerous and may be the reason to high divorce rate amongst young muslims in west imo
What is wrong with hoping/ wishing for the best, striving for the best but preparing for the worst? That is something a smart person does. Allah( swt) wants us to trust him, but he also want us to use our brains and protect ourselves.
@@oayysz8909 its called damage control. Some people like to make sure their doors are locked, even in safe neighbourhoods, because they don't have an exception complex where they think they're exempt from all the possible ills other individuals who started off with good marriages eventually experienced. 😘
@@naimam8212 it's not allowed for women to protect themselves but if they get abused it's their fault for picking an abusive man to begin with
@@blumachine Fr, like how are you mad that I’m looking out for myself? Not having anything to fall back on is how women end up abused and trapped.
I understand where my brothers are coming from and there are way too many women who DONT want to work anymore, but there are some women who have to work cause of their own mothers and fathers.
The parent need to be taken care of and some men be like “I married you not your parents”.
I find it interesting that they are asking women and then they don't believe the answer if it doesn't fit their perspective. They said they don't want a working wife because of A,B,C and then don't like it when a solution or reailty is brought up. Also single or divorced women needing to work, families that need help financially, and women in abusive situations needing a way out and that requires money are all real issues. It's a lot of women and shouldn't just be brushed to the side.
Many times, the reason women want to work is not being appreciated, being abused, they are bored, or want some money in their pockets. Some women pressure other women to work, but that's not the case for the majority. Maybe I just grew up in a community where it's normal to be a stay at home mom and even homeschool your kids. I just don't see pressure from others and I live in the west. I think it was more common in older generation.
Just like the women said, if women had amazing husbands, they would be stay at home mom's. A lot of men pretend to be great and then when they get married, their true selves comes out. Same goes for some women who pretend to be someone they are not.
And women think that being a house wife isn't that great because their husband's tell them that.
There are a lot of superwomen out there. There are also seasons in life where women take a break from work, like when her children are really young.
The ending was very weird. How is a second wife a passion project? Lol
Men actually do have hobbies like RUclips, gaming, cars, watching movies, side hustles, etc. Men don't come home and fix things until they go to bed. That's just extreme. So to believe that's what women should do by just focusing on the house and children is also a type of extreme. They need a mental and physical break too.
Sorry for the long comment, but I really felt like I needed to say something.
couldn’t agree more!
Also might explain why zeeshans marriage broke down, with such toxic views… sorry don’t mean to judge but disappointed with both Ali and zee , I thought they were more socially aware/intelligent… comes to show that certain knowledge isn’t everything (without application) vague ideas that didn’t address real life issues. Muslim Couples need to be a united and powerful force for good, a career/driven woman is like a diamond in the rough, and rare to come by. (I’m speaking as a mum of 4, -part time working - managing home affectionate, maternal woman, who feels inspired and in awe of mothers who are able to do run their homes with their successful careers, employ cleaners cook to perfection (yup they do exist and it takes a certain type of female character, *BUT must add* when supported by her dedicated husband)
shallow points thrown about, especially in an age where Muslim men aren’t stepping up, aren’t protecting the rights of fellow Muslim women when it comes to acquiring basic knowledge in Islam, where in the UK!! Many masaajid are out of bounds for women (no women sections)
Actually here’s a shout out to @alidawah can you please run a campaign and show your support for women spaces in the mosques??
By the way we absolutely appreciate your every efforts and for doing this much needed chat show, having female panelists is truly refreshing and we look m forward to more. Just sharing our constructive criticism (that’s all)
You are right 💯
Thanks for saying something, there were so many points to raise with the brothers I didn't know where to start. I guess it's normal for men and women to come at it from very different angles. We have very different (and valid) concerns.
as a muslim i’m very disgusted by all of these muslim men in the comments, even the non muslim men are better than you, how can you look down on women and act like you’re a king when a women has literally birthed you and raised you. And you’re asking about ”how can men and women be equal when they are different”, you feel like men are higher? the answer is no, women are actually more respected in islam, why do you think that in islam you should love your mother first and father comes after? it’s because women are more respected, and you should know your place and respect women, don’t look down on them as if they’re your slaves, they aren’t your slaves and they have their own rights, and just because you’re her husband you do not have the right to tell her she can’t work, who are you to prohibite her from working when Allah (swa) has gave her the right to work? You’re her husband and you must work and give her money, you are not her king, she is a woman just like your mother and you must respect her, and if you can’t respect women and can’t let them work because you are worried about your masculinity, then you need to go buy yourself a slave. and if you are going to have a second wife then you must be smart and rich enough to provide both families, because having 4 wifes is a sunnah, but providing them equally is a fard, are you rich enough to complete that fard?
@S K May Allah make it easy for you sis. So many ladies are in similar relationships as you've described and it's being dismissed as a minority scenario but in my experience it is very common.
I'm a stay at home mum and to be completely honest I get really fed up just like EVERY mother does! I would love to have a part time job just so I can be away from the home and my kids but does that mean I will do it? NO! I have a 1 year old that I would never think to leave with strangers or even family as he is my responsibility. Just becuase there is a desire to want to work doesn't mean I'm career driven or that I shouldn't becuase my husband provides. I want to work for my own sanity and inshaAllah when my son is 3 I will. Until then women do your job as mothers and men back off from women who simply want a life outside of their homes. Alhamdulillah my husband is very supportive of me and even suggested we can both work part time to have one full income, he can do 3 days and I can do 2 but unfortunately this isn't very realistic or stable. But it's great to know that he's thinking of my mental health. A happy mum is a good mum!
Sounds like you have a very considerate husband mashAllah
So when ur son is 3 you will leave him with childcare providers and schools after that so u can work. So why aren’t we being honest - being a housewife isn’t about raising the kids it’s about continuing to raise a man child
Most house wives send their kids to school and quran classes etc for the better part of the day so barely see their kids during the day
Housewife is about what benefits the man not what benefits the kids cos there kids ain’t there for most of the day anyway lol
I would like to be on the panel for the next debate. I am a young mother who is also a professional and is trying to balance both roles. I believe I have insights I can share. I truly think it is about balance and always remembering our priorities and roles that Allah has given us. The sad fact is that society has set us up for failure because quite frankly even if a man works really hard and works full time, he doesn’t get paid enough to support his family.
So true. My husband works 13 hour days most of the week and we were in the poor house with just his salary. I have to work unfortunately. I would prefer to just stay home raise our kids. Even homeschool them but I can't unless we find a way for us to have another income without me working.
Support the family does not mean 50inch TV, luxury gadgets, latest iPhone, spending endless on home improvements. Our role model is the prophet and his companions. They lived a simple life.
@@Shahid-if4ws no one here said they have luxury gadgets or new iphones. I have a phone that is cracked and 4 years old. all of our fruniture is thrifted and second hand. we don't have a TV. we only have 1 car. in some places in the united states its impossible to survive on 1 income. please don't shame women for working.
@@hyrunnisa997 no one is shaming them. If you can work without violating your husbands rights in the slightest which acc to me isnt possible, but if u can do that go right ahead
great pelase make this come true
“ALWAYS RESPECT TWO WOMEN, WHO GAVE BIRTH TO YOU AND WHO WAS BORN JUST FOR YOU.” Collected
🤗🤗
What about your daughters and sisters?
Alhamdulillah! Nicely put.
Yes, I should respect my mother and my huuris.
no women are born just for you sorry
Respect , provide and protect our women , but that doesn’t mean we should allow them to do what Islam doesn’t allow. Always follow sunnah and what the Quran says , if you don’t feel comfortable with your wife working . Then don’t let her work , but make sure you provide for her and family . Simple
Great Debate. I am a female. Let me tell you my life story. I did not plan to have a career, it happened due to Allahs plans. My dad passed away, i was 17, i had 4 younger siblings, where is the money coming from to put a roof and food in my families life. My dad provided - all gone at a snap of a finger by Allahs will. So all 4 siblings work and provide to run the household - say all girls. I actually had 2 brothers who did not step up to the plate to provide so what do we do .. starve. Then ended up in an abusive marriage where I gave up work and wanted children and it never happened. Second marriage - lovely man - barely survives with his wages prob around £1000 a month. Working his upmost best according to his abilities - he is autistic so struggle. My current hardworking but we cannot survive on his wages. We barely survive. I have to work to ensure roof over our head. We have to go half and half. There is no choice in the matter. In london how much is rent - how can my husband survive on 1k a month. See the situation. I dont have a choice but to work. Now we can cannot have kids so what do I do with my life so i have a full career.
Sorry to hear that sister. May Allah give you patience. I would like to suggest, if he is not earning a lot and you live in an expensive area, why not move? What's holding your family back? Make the effort, inshallah Allah will make things easier.
@@alphauno6614 yes so the next question is, husbands parents dong want to leave there expensive place and he has a duty to his parents, life is complicated with various nuances, its not black and white, all you have to make sure is you have a good heart hardworking and good intentions. There is no right or wrong answer in this whole women working thing. Allah has given many trials. What if your husband becomes disabled, your dad is disabled. Islam is beautiful.
@@mehjabinmiah7271 I see. I guess they won’t listen to your suggestion to move. In that case, I would say that instead of looking at people better off than you, look at those with less than you. The fact that you can go to the store and buy fresh fruit and vegetables, have access to clean water and electricity, parks, etc all are great bounties from Allah. Many in other countries would wish to have your humble life. Being content is where you find peace, not wealth. Also reading Quran and seeing what Allah says also brings great peace to one’s heart. May Allah give everyone the ability to find peace on the righteous path.
The autist must make more and you should stay inside and cook him some dinner blyat.
May Allaah grant you tawfeeq in all your affairs. And the fact that you married a man with Autism gives me hope for my son's future. Allaahumma Baarik lakum.
The men sometimes really need to step back and look at the bigger picture to consider all the avenues this question takes you instead of only hearing their own side. The men keep brushing the women’s points off as if it’s not relative to the conversation when it truly deeply is!! These are actually real problems we are facing and should be spoken about also. Great job anyway, I love that this is even open and up for discussion ❤ may Allah reward you all for the good you do and try to do Ameen x
Life is not always easy, but when you have Allah, everything is okay.
You must be at a very high spiritual level, to feel like that.
I envy you.
@@walkerjobe6964 It's hard to describe but in a way it's very liberating to just do your best with your situation and have faith that whatever happens is what Allah swt has decreed to be best for you ..ie when you are ill and in severe pain- this is Allah swts way of bringing you closer to Him, being reliant on Him, having faith that you are being rewarded for your patience. It's always a glass half-full type of attitude no matter what the situation I guess
Best comment.
@@walkerjobe6964 you can get there. talk to Allah and ask him for that and put the work
@@reemkannin500
Has that ever happened to you?
If so, can you tell me what happened, so that I can be more confident about that.
A lot of the time when sisters work, it's because the husband doesn't make enough to support them both. If he does earn enough for both, then it's not necessary for the sister to work. But it's good for sisters to have some education just in case they fall on hard times.
FACTS
Factsss 💯
Not facts. Nowadays go to any family to ask for a girl's hand in marriage, and the first thing they ask is whether their daughter will be allowed to work. This is even before they know what the guy earns.
@@purplespark8 as a muslim i’m very disgusted by all of these muslim men in the comments, even the non muslim men are better than you, how can you look down on women and act like you’re a king when a women has literally birthed you and raised you. And you’re asking about ”how can men and women be equal when they are different”, you feel like men are higher? the answer is no, women are actually more respected in islam, why do you think that in islam you should love your mother first and father comes after? it’s because women are more respected, and you should know your place and respect women, don’t look down on them as if they’re your slaves, they aren’t your slaves and they have their own rights, and just because you’re her husband you do not have the right to tell her she can’t work, who are you to prohibite her from working when Allah (swa) has gave her the right to work? You’re her husband and you must work and give her money, you are not her king, she is a woman just like your mother and you must respect her, and if you can’t respect women and can’t let them work because you are worried about your masculinity, then you need to go buy yourself a slave. and if you are going to have a second wife then you must be smart and rich enough to provide both families, because having 4 wifes is a sunnah, but providing them equally is a fard, are you rich enough to complete that fard?
@@Aot1768 There was no such need for a long paragraph. All I'll say is that scholars are in unison that the husband can prohibit the wife from working.
People these days are way too influenced by western media and feminism, that is why they can't see past all this.
You seem like someone who has gone through depression, because nobody talked about multiple wives here, yet you are dragging on about it. If you have, please talk to someone about it. Going through comments on social media won't do anything
Next show - successful elders who have successful marriages to share their guidance
💯
Yeah that will be cherry 🍒 on the top 👌
Most regressive question! Khadija was business woman and Muhammad was survived by Khadijas earning. Period
*Short answer:* _No, Muslim Women Don’t Need Careers To Be Empowered._
_"To the Islamophobes who want to say that Muslim women are oppressed, we simply don’t need to play their game. We can just turn the tables on them and respond, “Actually, it is Western women who are suffering the highest levels of dissatisfaction and depression despite their supposedly empowered lives. Instead of worrying about Muslim women, maybe clean up your own house first. And if you need any tips from us Muslims, we are more than happy to help!”_
~ Ustādha Umm Khalid
May Allah ﷻ destroy Feminism (cancerous ideology). Ameen!
Agreed
Amen
Ameen
May Allah bless her
Ameen
Lol
Ameen
Sister in middle is amazing, she has super faith in ALLAH swt, she is very positive on some point, may ALLAH swt bless her for that. 90% + people has their eyes on situation & so on, what if this happens,
La haula wala khuwata
If we are just good, ALLAH swt will do best to just, but it doesn't mean it will look good or feel good, you might feel bad initially, but later on it will be best for sure.
the sister in the middle is the only AUTHENTIC Muslim woman on the panel. However this is my opinion, ALLAH knows best.
@@jacklynpaul9909 mashaAllah I agree and her modesty shows her iman Alahuma barik🤲
Really Good topic!
As a muslim wife and mother I would like too make some notes.
1. Being home with smal kids is fun and nice! Lot of things you can do with them But you have also the house and everything around you that is on you as a housewife. Clean clothes, cleaning house and kids always makes messy everywhere the food and the smal things like playing with kids, waking up at night for them etc etc The Kids today are not like the kids back in a days.
As a woman sometimes you dont have time for ur self.
Its important that in a realtionship men and women have good realistic understanding of everything and dont expect everything too be perfect.
Sorry for my english
I think raising kids at some point becomes the job of the teacher at school, I mean kids spend more time at school than their home nowadays, so the argument that women's job is to raise kids only makes sense in the first years of child's life.
@@primeminister1040when I look at the state of schools in the west, I wouldn’t entrust my kids to the hands of the education system.
@@northstrider6482 the majority of Muslims don't live in the west, besides, there are private schools.
@@primeminister1040 right now I am a housewife and I'm home with kids a lot they only go to school some hours A-day not like the rest of the kids that go there 8 hours ...
Hearing Ali dawah say it’s a disaster for a man to support his womens career and pick up in different places just shows how immature he is and how he takes advantage of the deen to feed into his own insecurities.. god for bid a women is successful and has a supportive man oh may allah be with him -_-
Bro Ali u have made good point ! But brother Zeeshan should be allowed to speak as well ! He is also one of the true Gem here
The issue with women who have careers is that they will listen, respect and obey their boss at work but if their husbands ask them to cook or clean they will refuse.
As a sister, i agree. I think women can work as long as they acknowledge that the house is priority and if they can balance work and home and are organized, i see no problem
Maybe some women but not all women who have careers
Because your spouse is supposed to be your partner while your Boss doesn't care about you.
Brother Zeeshan is so well articulated and realistically logical.
Marriage does *NOT* revolve solely around what men want- it's supposed to fulfil both partners.
A man has full rights to prevent the wife from working. In islam its the wife pleasing the husband first and more, not the other way around. A working wife brings things to the table that is bad for the marriage if everything is equal generally speaking.
@@ImranAhmed-oi5mf What right does anyone have to control another human being? *None.*
@@ImranAhmed-oi5mf You just proved that religion is backwards and therefore has no place in the civilised world.
@SarahtheSoldier Allah has given men the right to tell them woman not to work. So in short God gives rights.
@SarahtheSoldier Allah does. Just like parents have right to tell their kids what they cannot do husbands have the right to tell their wife what they cannot do. God gives these rights. Are you even a Muslim?
The one thing I know about marriage is that as a couple we should be partners, we work together for a main goal which is to go to Jannah ❤️🙃
Not partners but a team man and wife. Quran says nothing about partner
@@Biochemist_Sam The Quran doesn't mention Team either though. The comment above yours was correct, HUSBAND and WIFE are partners with the ultimate goal being jannah.
This partner idea is part of the feminist decline. Sure you work together for a goal, sure its a partnership, but be careful where you're hearing that word from because they also use it in their playbook peace be upon you
There was this advertisement in Singapore where a lot of married women have careers, they interviewed the nanny and the mother, where they asked questions about the child, from their favorite colour and food, to what they want to be when they grow up. The nanny gets all the correct answers as compared to the biological mom. It just shows how much they are missing from their childrens life when they choose their career. And Singapore is not a poor country where both spouse absolutely have to work...
+1
It depends I only work 10 hours but I work so I can buy things that are not necessary but a little wants that may just be an extra burden on my hubby. I.e organising a Eid party for my children buying the decorations, paying for the extra circular activities such as swimming me just helping out with bills and food
But it doesn't have to be the mother who always look after the children. It should be a shared responsibilty
@@zebakhan39 What do you do for work?
@@MariaSanchez-kg2fl Precisely It should be equal (unless one wants to be a full time stay at home aren't) so both parents are able to have a life of their own while spending time with their children so neither misses out.
I love this show brother Ali, thanks for providing this platform for us muslims so we, men and women, can discuss our daily societal and marital issues. Allahouma barek feek🤲🏻
That female doctor who is on call
Is the same doctor or midwife you ask for when you don’t want a male doctor looking and checking your wife.
lol THANK YOUUU!!!!!!!
That’s true. These women would make good second wives. That way you can have your first wife take care of the children in the absence of the second
mad ting innit
Well said !
The toilet cleaner you don't want to marry is the same toilet cleaner you wish was working when your work toilet is dirty.
I think a key discussion that’s always omitted not intentionally is the support of wider families and keeping together families. The concept of a child is raised by a community. People forget that women didn’t used to look after kids alone since the beginning of time. Women were co wives or living in big families so the struggle we have now of doing everything alone never existed before. And that in time puts pressure on the husband too
That’s something for you to consider. Being a secondary wife to a sincere husband does open the door to fewer responsibilities in the home, allowing more time for other ventures. Alternatively, large blended families could also serve a similar function however more chaotic they may be. Interesting ideas though. Food for thought
Cowives and bigger family is a great solution. They can share in taking care of the kids. The men can work and bring income
Good discussion, Thank you!
It’s obligatory on a FATHER, HUSBAND, BROTHER or SON to provide for the women in the family.
Give the women in your families financial security so she is not compelled to work or pursue a carrier!
The MEN who are not supporting woman will be answerable to ALLAH SWT. on the judgment day!
@@papitrapstar1575 no the problem is men YOU NEED TO PROVIDE FOR ALL THE WOMAN OF THE HOUSE
On matrimonial websites, there are many Muslim men that want a working wife; it's listed as one of their criteria. However, they need to understand that if a wife is going to be working full-time and then she comes home and has to take care of the cooking, cleaning, and raising the kids (soothing, bathing, feeding, homework, etc)....with little-to-no support from the husband at home.....then resentment will soon follow because she's basically working 2 full-time jobs. I've nothing against housewives because my mother has always been one and she took care of the domestic responsibilities because that's all she had on her plate. However, times are different now because BOTH husband and wife are working (for various reasons) and many South Asian wives (exceptions to the generalization do exist) especially find themselves where there is little support from husband within the home , and another issue is the failure of the men to balance rights of their Mom and their wife and it becomes a tug-o-war....but that's a whole other video.
this argument is unbelieavable... just because " few men" on datiing site are requiring their futur spouse to work. We now all men have to potentially give up our right ?
My only advice, stop overthinking, choose a men who understand his deen and the wisdoms of Allat swt.
Respectfully
@@rashdwg5117 it’s you who is overthinking, where does it say in the comment that all men need to give up their right? The person just highlighted the issue that their are few mens out there making these request and that comment is mostly addressed to them.
@@khalidabegum100 you don’t even realise the consequences of the point you are making/repeating… I won’t argue with you may Allah guide us
I'm 25. I don't want to work. I do not like working. I do not like doing business with men. I would much rather be at home raising children, growing a garden, culturing myself so that I can teach my children about other cultures, exploring hobbies and providing an environment at home that is comfortable beautiful and loving. I am an extremely driven woman which is why I've studied different languages taught myself how to cook taught myself how to clean excetera. I do not appreciate when career-driven woman says anything in regards to a stay-at-home wife or mother's ambition. Ambition is not directly linked to professionalism. That has only existed for the last hundred years. Before this time, everyone had trades and TANGIBLE skills to provide. Now we have a bunch of pseudo-sciences and pseudo businesses that take up far more time and are far less fulfilling spiritually. What I mean is, in the past a woman could make extra jam and sell it at a market, she could take care of other children, she could clean other houses in exchange for money. But now she can be a doctor for 16 hours a day, she can be a therapist for 8 hours a day, when in the past this was not an option. So it's not like women were just at home. Women were doing things within the community while the men were at work very valuable activities that are now given to nannies Cooks gardeners Etc. It's not like women in the past had no other activities besides being at home. Womenbare not locked inside their home. It's actually sad that a woman or anyone would feel that the only way of exploring this beautiful world that we've been given is through career or traveling. I can learn so much just from studying the weeds that grow in my backyard, from picking up a book at the library, from studying the clouds, from listening to my three-year-old speak their baby talk, etc. There's so much that I can learn from what is immediately around me and I'm grateful for every little thing that is around me. I would love to have a life where I can spend my time just really appreciating the beauty that is this world. I can learn how to make things and create things that will benefit my family so that we don't have to always buy things from other sources that we don't know. And, I can create men and women who will also appreciate the beauty in this world and love others from that perspective.
This is a nice show. I totally agree with the brothers as a female who was raised to focus on her studies and work and having gone through some brainwashing by feminist ideas. Most women like me I believe they would finally realize the importance of what you mentioned once they hit their 30s. Now, I am not trying to complain here or anything Alhamdu lillah who showed me even at a late time the truth and made me more open to it, it is still though a long way or journey to make our sisters realize this. However, I have to say even tomboyish girls want to have that man that they can lean on, it just that they didn't have the chance to have such an opportunity. Even those tomboyish girls want to find a person to be able to express her femininity with/to. They might say differently though because of society pressure etc. However that is the dream of every girl/woman on earth.
Now to brother Ali, I think this episode was a good start and I like the show and it's idea.
However, I thought it was not well managed. Please give the panelist more time to express their thoughts after thoroughly explaining the topic. The episode was kind going into different directions. Everyone was saying something and no one was listening well. Because the topic is not very clear that is one point and because brother Ali, I am sorry to say that, it felt you were forcing your ideas more than giving the panelists (brothers and sisters) the time to talk.
Also, I have to mention this to be fair as well so that my sisters won't feel dispair. It is true that Biologically we are getting further from our prime time after hitting 30s. However, know that Allah is capable of everything. Look at our mother Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) she wasn't young when Prophet Muhammad PBUH married her. Yet she had most of his children. And the Young Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) wasn't blessed with any yet received great knowledge and followed by taking care of young muslim children. We are all here for a purpose. Work on yourself because definitely not me and not you are our mothers of believers or even closer to them in faith. But work on yourself and work to find your couple in this life as Allah promised we are created in pairs while keeping working on your faith. In the end what matters is your relationship with Allah.
MashaAllah ☝
Allahumma barik this was so well said
Perfectly put. Allahumma Barik
“Happiness [is] only real when shared” ― Jon Krakauer
maarriege is not about happinesss
I think the best way to have this debate is to have a three part series. One solely discussing ‘boss babes.’ One discussing reverts who are struggling to find traditional men/women who’ve been let down by men and have to work. And one where you do a 50-50 episode, one half for the men specifically analysing and advising how their behaviours can contribute to modern day ‘feminists’ and the other half to women advising how they can find honest men. The issue is the women want to explain that exceptional circumstances aren’t as exceptional anymore. There are more and more broken homes. Funnily enough, the men are talking about the same thing in effect but from a ‘feminist’ being at fault point of view. Essentially, on base level, they both agree. The issue is the men don’t understand that the exceptions are becoming the norm and so generalising a complex topic like this can seem offensive. And the women are agreeing with the men on base level points but are getting triggered by the men not understanding the exceptions ‘cos the men want to address only the ‘boss babes.’ Do a three part series or accept that this will be the result 😂 I know people will be unhappy if you do a three part series, but at least you’ll cover more points that way rather than everyone get lost in emotion.
Why only reverts?
Except that's all anecdotal she hasn't given hard data
And Ali is correct they need to focus on the topic which was
What a man is looking for and why
they kept veering off into anecdotals
@@SuB-zv3ij ikr 😂
It's all about time management and communication. As a father, i want to care, teach, and watch over my daughter in her growing years. Not just hand over the whole responsibility to the wife. It's best if both parents do the work together but are still doing it the traditional ways.
P.s. I still earns alot Alhamdullillah and pay the bills.
This is one of the most disturbing things I’ve seen from Muslims in a long time. Essentially these men are advocating for erasing women from the public sphere which is insane and antithetical to Islam. I’m shocked that men think so little of women or think so poorly of Allah’s creation that He would make women for the sole purpose of living for what men would want. This is toxic content and I can’t believe this is being spun as some kind of informative Islamic forum. The small minds of these men are frightening and the ummah doesn’t stand a chance if this is far as the intellect can go.
How about me 😆😆 I run 4 Businesses - have 2 Kids I take them to school and Kindergarten and I help with the homework. I cook 95% of the time. I clean 95% of the time. My husband is working full time. And sometimes I ask him politely to just please clear the dishes from the sink....he sometimes does sometimes doesn't 😆 i understand it is my fault that I overloaded myself with all of it but i actually enjoy the stress and process of it all..... and I raise my kids in a pretty strict way meaning they need to learn how to wash laundry and clean after themselves. I think cleaning after yourself is a BASIC life skill. And my son WILL have to do it too. This will make his and his wifes life much easier. He won't be any less masculine... On the opposite it can sometimes feel like you're living with a sloppy teenager if all he does is make a mess and expect a loyal wife yo clean after him because he's working full time.... 😂 I work with housework probably 12 hrs per day and still do it. Spoiled is not se*y and not attractive. 🙌
I used to think "what's the issue with a woman having a career".
Until I realised literally every traditional household that talked to me about it swore to me that it's impossible to raise kids properly if you are working a 9-5.
Every single one tells me that you need to always be there in the kids life. And more I look at how kids turn out from 50% households versus traditional ones the more I'm convinced they are actually right.
If the father is always working then he will be in the child's life less. If both mother and father are working it can be arranged so that both parents spend enough time with their children, instead of one more than the other.
@@Mannequeer this is false. If both parents are career oriented then one partners hours will not affect the other partners hours.
The father will still have the same number of hours at work the only difference is the wife will also be at work as well
@@HK-dd2bo that's not always the case, there are a few countries (including mine) that allow work hours to be altered if you have children. This assures that both parents will have time to spend with their children on a more equal level because it is important for children (as they're growing up) to have both parents around.
@@Mannequeer regardless it will mean the child has less time with parents.
And the real point in my original post is that it's extremely important for at least one parent to always be there to raise the child.
@@HK-dd2bo no, it's important for both parents to be involved in a child's life. A child needs both role models around.
This discussion was needed. A part 2 is needed. A list about the topics and discussion between the topic should be loosely made before filming so that the video is more organized and cohesive.
The ideas present were needed but needed to be stated in an organized manner
Nah cuz my friends are all extremely career oriented. I'm 20 and I have 17-23 year olds in my friend circle who are all chasing careers. I've had my best friend tell me the other day "You're not studying so hard just so you can get married, don't you dare think of marriage before settling into a stable career" And this is the prevalent mentality amongst all the women in my life. Even the families are pushing their daughters towards having the "career first" mentality. And that is something to be concerned about. All my peers see being a SAHM as a waste of potential. The brothers aren't wrong when they point this out.
Noone's saying you cant have a career. its just that having a career nowadays is seen as the better choice to make over choosing to be a housewife/SAHM. The latter is seen as a waste of potential, laziness, unambitious etc. My own mother expressed disappointment when I told her that I'd like to be a SAHM. So yea, I do think it's a real issue that requires addressing.
With the economic status rn, if you have a career/proper education first, you can probably afford a car/a house first before getting married. But if being a full time wife is your thing and your husband has no problem providing for you, I don't see a problem.
yep. they will end up marrying their careers
Respect to the guy in the black shirt. Spoken like a true man
His channel name is smile to Jannah
It's okay if she works (if she wants to), as long as she can reconcile between work and her role as a mother.
Plus, she has to work in a suitable environment.
👏
No work.
@ghostraqueur. you realise women in the Medina in the time of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH, had jobs and worked.
If the job is right for her and doesn't affect her role and responsibilities in the household, then it's okay
@@Nasserist1969 any of the wife's of the Saharba worked or the prophet Mohamed صلى الله عليه وسلم ? No so your point is not true
@@maa9264 Muslim women worked in the Medina. The head of Al Medina Souq was a woman.
You need to study more
This episode was so disappointing, but the comments did not disappoint alhamdulilah. Not everything is about feminism, sometimes a woman just wants to do something outside the mum/wife role cus it makes her happy…like teaching kids or whatever it may be. Relax guys we aren’t taking ur role nor are we leaving ours!
Well who gonna raised your kids if you go to work.
Feminism is about what a woman wants and about the ability to decide how to spend her life i.e. as being a housewife or getting a job etc. Feminism is about a choice of what a woman wants to do with her life.
Men fear working women because we have the power and freedom to walk away when the marriage fails. A woman who doesn't work will be stuck
Interesting comment. Given that women are more emotional than men, whenever things get difficult they will or may break up the marriage, perseverance goes out of the window. Men should be worried.
I know many instances within Muslim marriages where the man has cheated or done drugs and left their job sometime into a long marriage with kids so of course the woman has to break it off! I have no trust in a man hence I want to work to be stable myself in fear of that happening to me. Indeed the fitnah of women is scary for our men
if you are muslim, then I suggest you go learn about your religion and what marriage is and the rulings for it. Of course I wouldn't want someone with such attitude towards marriage to raise my children. I can tell you are a working woman because you sound like you think of marriage as an employment contract..
Freedome to walk away with another man when the current one is not good enough
Couldn't agree more they want to control women
33 minutes in, the niqabi sister said such a good point and it is so true
I have to say I am thankful we don't have these debates in modern Muslim Africa. 😊🥰. Dear brothers, if you allow your daughters to go to school, then it is only logical that she follows a profession. I am happy my dad gave me the same opportunity as he gave my brothers! I am the eldest of the family and today, I take care of my parents financially. That is a blessing! Also in our context, there are nannies, maids at home, cooks, and family members who are helping with the kids so the parents can work and have a balanced life. So for that I am grateful.
Exactly. People (these men in the video) forget that it takes a COMMUNITY to raise kids. Not just the mother.
@@StriveforJannah2 Nah it doesn't take a community at least not literally but the parents should be the ones raising the kids right coz the community/society is going crazier each day and you don't want your child to be brainwashed by them at the critical age.
@@StriveforJannah2completely agree but it begins at home
Sister Fati, your answer is in your own comment. It’s not your responsibility to support your parents. Your brothers exist for a reason. What you are doing is commendable but understand that your children are your priority. May Allah guide us all to walk the righteous path.
@@StriveforJannah2 Explain to me why you would let another woman raise the kids you are supposed to raise? Replacing one woman with another woman. Explain this logic
This was actually a good one. And it's encouraging to find muslim women with these kind of views with the wide spread of feminism.
Women: I don't agree with the perceived notion that MOST men do not provide. There are lots of good men out there and if they followed the islamic regulations and had the correct priorities, they'll find real men.
Men: I don't agree with the men as they seem to say we don't need women to have careers. We need them as doctors, teachers and many other beautiful careers. As far as she doesn't forgo rights of husband. I think it's difficult but possible. And as a man, I believe you should be able to support her once in a while if she's in a job that's helping the ummah.
If you're a kind man who respects and loves me. Puts effort to keep the romantic spark alive by being spontaneous etc. Provides and will buy things that aren't a necessity but things I want for my own happiness, things I'd buy for myself if I had a job. Helps out every now and then. Any woman would give up their career for you!!! We wanna feel loved and appreciated and happy. There's a lot of men that don't do half of them things, that's why we don't wanna give it up easily. When you go to work you get to be an adult environment, when you are at home being around kids doesn't allow you to stretch your mind and interact with other adults. Women miss that!!
So true the part you mentioned at the start!
Spoken like a true woman. Men should sacrifice all the time and women should buy things, right?
Why can't women just stay moderate?
@@purplespark8 spoken like a true deluded, self-centered man. Nobody said women shouldn't do any work. You clearly aren't educated on the matter. Women have obligatory roles assigned by Allah to care at home. Cooking,cleaning and caring takes time as well and more care then your job will ever require. That's why men won't cook because they find it way too hard to comprehend. Your dad went to work and mum looked after you, that is moderate, is it not? Shut your mouth next time:)
@@purplespark8 so giving up a career and years of education for the husband is not sacrificing? Men are islamically should be the provider, provider means keeping food on the table but also making sure his wife's well being is to up to par. That just means being loving towards her, which should be the bare minimum for any healthy relationship.
@@tahiya450 Yes men are supposed to provide, but they shouldn't be expected to provide more than they can.
For a woman, giving up career is not a sacrifice. They do it just for time pass
constructive critism show needs a unbiased host to keep the conversation on point
True
mashAllah , Jazakallah kahir, I've learnt a lot from this episode. This was a great discussion, a lot of us young brothers and sisters growing up in this western society have been indoctrinated with liberal and feministic ideologies from a young age, therefore, its so important that we understand the gender roles from an islamic perspective.
I don’t know why the panelists are assuming that opinionated, educated career women have masculine characteristics and will debate on trivial issues.
I and my husband both are researchers/ scientists and Alhamdulillah we are happier than our friends where the wife is not working. Please have a more realistic view of marriages by following statistics from married working Muslim couples.
What exactly is a traditional wife in your opinion? Actually hire a maid.
MashAllah, the end is exactly what our mentality should be, the brother said it perfectly. We have to protect our families, ESPECIALLY in the west where there is a huge push to liberalize and sexualize our children. Putting our children in daycares is putting them in the way of harm in most cases.. the schools are on a whole other level especially here in the States. We as women have to protect our families from these agendas and ideologies. We have to start focusing more on our deen and learning it so we can pass it on to our children and continue to raise strong Muslims generations. I work full time and have a 21 month old little girl and it breaks my heart every time I have to leave her in the hands of someone else.. my husband is working hard for me to be able to stay home with her by the end of this year in sha Allah. We will have to live very frugally but it will be worth it for the upbringing of her. May Allah protect us all
Bless your heart women, i wish some of our sisters in Saudi realize the insane gifts that were given to them, they want the exact opposite of what you want.
I look at so many of them in social media and a little in real life saying in their marriage contract that they want to go out whenever they *want* , forgetting that it's not a cultural thing for the wife to ask permission from her husband to go out, but rather a command from Allah.
Same for polygamy 🤷🏻
@@Hamza-uh6oy do you live in Saudi bro ? I have questions regarding the rise of feminism and divorce there
@@Nox-02
The divorce issue in Saudi is real, many young men/women are not understanding that marriage is something sacred. They get married, have the slightest upset with their respective spouse and throw a tantrum and file for a divorce.
The feminist movement is highly disliked in Saudi, people are not that gullible yet.
but some foreign capitalistic behaviors have been recently seeping into our lifestyles. such as women having a career and hiring a nanny to take care of the kids just so she can have an income of her own.
@@Hamza-uh6oy thanks for responding.
Do young people have issues getting married or is it easy and do theses relationship last ? Here in France bro its unreal the divorce rate is crazy, I honestly think at least 1/3 if not 1/2 of the marriages here end up by divorce and dont last 10 to 15 years.
Men and women really need to learn why they are getting married and whats their roles and right and be careful of talaq.may الله عز وجل bless you and protect us from these fitan
@@Nox-02
Mahr is increasingly getting expensive just like everything.
And about the divorce rate that's insane! our divorce rate has increased 600% in the last decade, and its at around 12-13% of marriages right now. But recently they made compulsory counseling sessions for couples who want to divorce, which lowered the divorce rate by 22%
Honestly I would prefer a wife that works from home, and prioritises family over work. However if she is a doctor I would not mind her working outside, because then in my opinion her role is very important for society, it may lead to me contributing more towards kids but if she is saving lives then that's more important.
This is my personal view that comes from my understanding of Islam as human life is valued so much in Islam.
Lol brother. Yes. Have her work while you are doing the child bearing. How noble of you.
I am in the medical industry. It is an extremely extremely malignant and difficult industry. You would seriously send your wife out to deal with other male doctors and patients who may get physical with her, just because she "is important to society"? Have her work part time while you pick up the slack. Mashallah there are many ways nowadays to not have to work 40+ hours a week as a Doctor.
In my view mothers(good ones) are more important to society than doctors
You will end up getting a second wife or doing zina, imagine having a wife and not being able to have intimacy because shes always working
Lol you think there will be no doctor if she isn't a doctor? Statistics show that working women are less happier and way more likely to get divorced. In light of this, a real man would not want their wife to work except in certain difficult financial situations
@@Nomad_786 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Hi i am a muslim and doctor and my husband is a doctor too.we have been married since last 13 years,He works hard,pays all the bills,takes care of us physically and emotionally.he is a high value man (who is not interested in polygamy which inspires low value men alot these days,sorry to burst your bubble,Sir not every man is polygamous,some men value loyalty,self control and peace of family life above all,what is the difference between humans and animals if humans have no self control and conscience).we have a nice house with three kids(we take care of them and we never hired a nanny),i work part time,we manage household with cooperation and compassion which are lacking in such kind of guys,thank God there are men like my husband and many others like him,because of which nice women are surviving in this era,where such kind of host type people inspired by andrew tate type of people push their version of islam over others just for publicity.Who is somebody to tell women what kind of passion or profession they can choose or pursue if that profession is respectable and within islamic limits.if someday i am exhausted and need mental break from household duties and COOKING (around which this host guy's merital life revolve around which he thinks is the only passion a woman should have),my husband helps even cooks and never start making a big deal out of it.we have emotional intelligence,education and i.q to deal with each other in all situations.he is supportive and i respect and support him,marriage is all about compassion,emotional intelligence and cooperation.finally Sir what made you think that a doctor would like to marry you,if you dont match her mental level and intelligence,no Sir women which are at certain level of respectable place in society are self assured and know their value and they would not be in a marriage,if a man has not self control and has an intention of second marriage just because he can,what kind of woman that would be who wants to remain in the marriage with you and expect another woman to share his husband,.many high value,intelligent men know that women have mental capabilities for science and stuff like that, not only just COOKING,and women can be sometimes tired too just like men after work no big deal, and yes most of the time compassionate and respectable husbands provide for their family with honour and dignity(without looking down at their wives because of wives' financial dependency on husbands)but there are also many persons with low level of emotional intelligence and calibre,who just misuse islam and finances to manipulate and abuse women because,she does not have a source of income and career(and who had decided to stay at home to feed their husband's ego with COOKING the FOOD),who even thinks that a woman has an expiry date years 18-28 after which they can marry again and thrust the lessons of sabr,tolerance and logics(to remain in an emotionally abusive marriage)because of kids on the women)and some women may decide to leave their TEACHING job (if they were qualified and competent enough at first place to progress in that field)remain even in an emotionally abusive polygamous marriage if it suits them because they are financially dependent on man and can't have their own opinion) sorry i was disappointed to know about such level of point of views,please try to stop manipulating minds of people just for making such type of videos and trying to become famous by becoming the andrew tate of muslims,,There are many many millions of high calibre,compassionate and hard working men in this world who deserve and get respect in their houses like kings even without demanding it,you do get what you bring to the table,sorry if my comment hurt somebody.regards
I notice some brothers may ask non mahram women inappropriate questions or bring women (who are struggling to cover correctly or not adorn themselves,i hope one day they find the ease to do so) onto their discussions online,but they won't bring their own wives and daughters online and do the same(which doesn't mean they should). As men what happened to having protection over your sisters even if they are not your daughters or wives? What do we think the Scholars would say? It's a matter of aiding each other to Jannah and not to the fire. If men fixed themselves maybe part of the women would fix, if women fixed themselves maybe part of the men would fix.
If all parties are not represented, then ppl will think the discussion is biased and therefore useless
it was an open discussion and nobody was mentioned by name or anything similar, idk what your problem is.
In the U.K kids be at school during work hours.
Plus people work from home so, women can work at home while they look after it.
There's soo many options.
I love this type of CONTENT and the set is dreamy and beautiful Allahumma barikk! JZK
Most men want a womans financial support and to live with his family. Most men are not ready for marriage.
As for that 17yo boy how many 30 40 yo women has he shared a conversation with. At for the guy i glasses he dosent want a woman to make more money than him.
When my first was born, i continued working as a teacher. My mother looked after my son and I still came home, took care of him, cooked dinner for hubby, cleaned and did everything else that i could to take care of my family. I agree that a woman should not be career DRIVEN or ORIENTATED although, in good balance there’s not harm in her working… I think women should focus on being a mother, wife and home maker BEFORE she focuses on $$$. If your child is at day care 4 or 5 days a week from 6.30am - 6pm… thats a problem. Ali Dawah is speaking too absolutely.
MashaAllaah tabaraka Allah Allahuma bareek, I prefer my wife to be with the children. Grand parents spoil their grand children generally and from my experience.
Having some women in the workforce for essential services like teaching and medical care is good. These are sacrifices made for the betterment of society. However, we shouldn’t pretend like a mother who is absent from her child’s life won’t make a difference in their upbringing. It may be a hard pill to swallow but being clear avoids the trap we see today where women think part time mothers can raise their kids just as good as full time mothers.
Serious question: do the men on this show not provide for their parents? How do they have all this money to pay for everything by themselves? It wouldn’t be possible for him to pay the mortgage, bills and groceries.
Stop using this disgusting phrase ‘boss babe’ for women who help their husbands financially. Women are rewarded for this surely. There’s women doing it all and burning themselves out because their husbands and family need help.
The way he talks about women is disgusting. Telling us we should prioritise marriage in our ‘prime’ years before we get ugly . The prophet would never talk about women like this
@@aatamf8156it’s true tho
Ali brother i agree with you on a-lot of the things you said. I left my career as a solicitor so i can stay at home for the kids. When their old enough to look after themselves I will go bk to it In sha Allah if it’s written for me.
As long he is able paying all the bills , full for his wife , his children costs and has no money issues, it will work. Because , Today's problem is also from men side , as many of them can't pay for the life of their dreams and some totally ignore their financial responsibilities even. And also from women because many once they get job money become too independent, and often forget where to focus more and what is priority. Only when both work as a team in honest transparent way and focus on priorities first, will the marriage work.
In Islam. If the Wife wants to work it’s optional, no prohibited. Depending on the type of work.
@Sheik New you dont make any sense. You’re husband is your guardian, protector, provider. He don’t own his wife..
Being manly should not mean interrupting women and ridiculing their opinions.... it's not the behaviour our prophet saw modelled
I cannot believe that this is a discussion.
Some women do not have a passion for a specific career, and that’s fine, some women love staying at home and cooking and taking care of children, while other women need to be doing more. All these women are valid, and their needs deserve to be respected. Bear in mind that in Islam, a woman’s role is not to cook and clean, this is something that women should be doing voluntarily, if they wish. A husband and a wife should be helping one another in taking care of household chores and raising their children - that’s sunna - or are men now better than the prophet (PBUH). Taking care of the children and raising them to be good Muslims is the role of the father and the mother. It’s a shared responsibility. The wife therefore has the time, like the husband, to work if she chooses.
Working women are wonderful mothers, because they’re used to multi-tasking and doing a lot in a short span of time. Women who work also gain valuable experience and knowledge that enrich their contribution to the family unit. Women who work provide their children with a great role model in determination, work ethic, perseverance, etc. they also teach their children to be self-reliant, something that is vitally missing in some of the Muslim world today - certainly where I come from where we have an abundance of man babies and women babies - to be fair in this point, some working moms also spoil their children out of over-compensation - my mom did that - but I don’t think the majority do this, they just wouldn’t have the time 😅(which is a good thing!)
From personal experience and observation of the women around me, staying at home and not working at all is soul crushing for a woman and chisels away at her self-confidence, because however loving her family is, they will never validate her talents and competencies as a career would.
Financial independence is also a huge point. I think financial independence for women is crucial. It gives women the ability to feel secure in her relationship, even though the husband is obliged to financially support her, and it gives her the strength to leave an abusive toxic relationship (I’m talking here about really abusive relationships -physical abuse etc. - that women are forced to endure, because they would be destitute and poor in the street if they leave)
Finally working women make for more interesting wives. Rather than having a wife that is sitting at home waiting for her husband to come home, only to bombard him with incessant chatter (something no husband wants to face after a very long and tiring work day😅). You see she’s stuck with the kids all day, and really needs to have a meaningful conversation with an adult 😂 and the expectation is that her husband is now here to entertain her. Obviously that is not the case with all women, but quite a few.
The point is, when a woman has a full life, when she is happy and feels fulfilled and appreciated as a human being, she will be able to make others around her happy too.
Limiting a woman’s role to the home is just sad.
totally agree! i wish someone expressed these views to these men they seem so stubborn with their own views
working women are too tired and spent to do any kind of multi tasking at home and more importantly don't have time to commit to a relationship in the first place.
also financial independence is a recipe for divorce and if its the only way for you to feel secure in a relationship, then you're setting yourself up for failure
@@cooljool1 it seems that you are either too young, or too sheltered to have known many working women. Your comment contradicts the reality people are living.
the reality is that working or career oriented women are simply unattractive and dont make good marriage partners. I'm already allhumdillah and my women is a SAHM@@amk210
I have tried being both and only become a stay at home mum once my marriage broke down. Now I’m a single stay at home mum and my kids father still pays for our living expenses. I must say I am soo much happier as a non career woman home schooling my 2 kids. mornings are dedicated to hifz and afternoons are for education and sports. Loving life Alhamdulillah and I thank my kids father everyday for supporting us. May Allah make it easy for all my Muslim sisters to be secure and happy Ameeen.
Allahumma barek, may i please ask? He sounds like A great man masha Allah and Allah knows beat, after divorce not many men provide for their kids let alone their ex wife too! I honestly wonder about the reason for this divorce?
@@ummrus6951 yes he is a very good man but unfortunately before our divorce we were Muslims living a western lifestyle there wasn’t much Deen in our day to day life that was why our marriage fell apart. I was working and trying to juggle 100 things a day. We started seeking forgiveness from Allah swt once we started living separately. At the time I was seeking help from a religious lady (may Allah bless her) and she opened my eyes to the correct way of the sunnah life. I have not looked back since. I am so much calmer happier and I don’t care about the worldly luxury’s. I’m happy with the basics Alhumdullah
@@ummrus6951 I need to add that my life has been made easier only because Allah swt placed imann in my ex husband heart too. May Allah keep him steadfast for the sake of our kids.
I'm sorry your marriage broke down, sister. May Allah grant you a new spouse.
@@blueflame3531 I keep my faith in Allah that what is meant for me will surely be. Alhumdullah. Thankyou for your duaa
This crisis which was created by the new modern society and the advancement of technology is making both men and women (especially in Islam) CONFUSED. (it was inevitable to happen). The earlier times were simple yet difficult and painful. Now, the time is difficult, complex and complicated (not simple at all). More job roles, more technological advancements, more education, more access to knowledge, and more opportunities (which is absolutely great that comes with a cost); where people are losing focus on the CORE requirement (have a stable family and know what is your role as a "mother/woman" and as a "father/man").
back in the day, the logic was, Men = hunt and protect (masculine), Women = cook, and care (feminine). Nowadays, EVERYONE IS ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING! Where is the balance? When we don't even know what our roles should be, how can you expect both men and women to be living harmoniously?
May Allah give everyone a loving, unbiased, LOGICAL, SANE, non-toxic partner in their lives. What a messed-up world we are living in right now! I am afraid of who I might get for myself. Only trusting Allah in everything and doing my part to become a good person. There are so many variables you need to be careful of your surroundings these days when YOU ARE NOT EVEN AWARE OF THOSE EVIL/ PARAMETERS EXIST.
As a women, I really liked this discussion. It is important for women to know what men find desirable and not shame them for it.
Neither men nor women get everything they want but certain things should be non-negotiable like wives must respect and obey their husbands. Marriage only completes half of your deen when you actually perform the roles that you are supposed to perform.
Also, women must admit that they will never marry a man of a lower socioeconomic status than them. So if the solution is for her to not pursue a college education and a career, will she do it?
P.S. I feel like much of the male/female dynamics that I see being discussed in the past few months are a result of Brother Andrew Tate's influence. May Allah protect him and increase him in Iman.
This was so depressing to listen to. "Men in general do not want a career orientated wife in the long run" - says who and if so, why? Why should any man expect their partner to cook, clean, and do other domestic chores around the house, and why can't those men share the duties without the expectations of having things done for them. Afterall you're not living with your mum anymore. Provide, protect, love, listen, cry, pray, communicate sure, and support your partner with her career, let your women grow and flourish. The lady in black cardigan speaks so much sense, you really should've let her speak rather than being interrupted more often than not.
Beautifully said brother. Thank you 💖
career oriented women are generally unattractive because of their personalities, because they're economically dysfunctional- their line of work is not compatible with starting a family- and because men don't select for careers/status in women- they tend to look at other things e.g. beauty, personality, things like cooking etc... There's no use complaining about men's preferences and expectations for women. They are what they are.
cooking is an essential skill, if you don't know how to cook as a woman, you're not marriage material regardless of how many degrees you have or the career you pursue. Men are not plow horses and expectations are part of marriage too. You seem to think men should just give without getting something back in return. It doesn't work that way because we aren't here to be plow horses for women
Any wife who comprehensively understands their role as a mother, as a professional, as a best friend, is every husband's dream!
And any men who is ready to be the provider and responsible for his family is women dream. But
reality is different nowdays most men on muslim marriage websites always ask the woman financial statut and job..
@wintertiger4217 you need to understand a mother there to look after her kids a dad is there to teach them lessons that's it, he doesn't have to be there all the time
@@notafeminist5948 Sis those men don't matter. Know that the men willing to fully adhere to Islamic roles are rare just like the women. Find and approach the one's that really practices the Deen.
Prioritize his Piety and Character.
@Lifeyni what is responsibility of a woman ?
@@notafeminist5948 why do you go on these websites?
On p***n sites , I can see many women , so I assume that you will be doing the same? Will it be a true comparison?
To my sisters out there, if have an interest in not working don’t be afraid to tell to your friends and the man you’ll speak. If they judge for your choice, they simply don’t have the same values. Your value is not wrong in Islam. Society has now pressured us to believe that we need to work. Stand up for your values and beliefs and don’t let people push you over. Wether on homosexuality, feminism, work, abortion, etc.
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