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What you and Ali Dawah are saying directly contradicts Prophet Muhammad PBUH's life because he was happily married and monogamous for majority of his life and even when he did commit polygamy and had an opportunity to make more children from his younger wives he still never had any children from them. A healthy family raising kids - he pbuh did that with Khadijah RA and no one else. And no man is less manly for wanting that. And moreover, he made sure that none of her daughters end up in polygamous relationships. I seek monogamy from Allah because that's what I know my Prophet practiced. Furthermore, in this link you will know how Ali Dawah's absolutely dumbfounded saying that "Men Are Naturally Polygamous" is completely baseless and artificial.(some of the commentary in this article is still woke tho but the scientific facts are there) www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/karmak-bagisbayev/the-myth-of-male-polygamy_b_14879220.html
@@tausif6514 prove that the prophet did NOT want children with his other wives... are you saying men can ONLY get second or more wives after a certain age? prove this is a rule in islam, only a idiot or a munafiq would fall for your liberal trojan horse, my prophet was polygynous and im going to be polygynous, no man is less of a man for wanting that. tell me what group are you from?
Muslim women must be given a space to speak about their experiences, they shouldn’t be dismissed so coldly and insulted publicly; they spoke in a respectful and considerate manner - polygamy is not haram we all know this, but compassionate Muslim men are running out so perhaps focus on encouraging men to become more compassionate and considerate to their wife/wives instead of insulting abused mothers who want better for the ummah
No when u have this amound of misleading ideas and thoughts to that large croud you should watch what u say... cause now u have an effect on a large number of people dont come in here corrupting islamic traditions with your freedom nonsens
But they basically said that polygamy(something Allah explicitly allows) is not moral. Take the dress off and pay better attention, this is public Muslim men do not owe understanding or apologies, the problem is within herself and she should go to real shuyukh for help not public laymen
As a brother I have to accept the fact that I can see where these sisters are coming from. I can't possibly put myself in their shoes. Are they robots that they can't verbalize their emotions. May Allah grant us the ability to be compassionate on how our mothers and daughters may Express their feelings
@@YeOldVisigoth if someone said “it’s really difficult to wake up for Fajr, especially when I have work because I feel so tired” would you tell them they are verging in kufr for talking about their challenge? Or would you offer encouragement and maybe a possible solution such as sleeping earlier or taking a nap during the day etc… Similarly I don’t think it’s a problem to have open conversations about the challenges Muslims face in their deen
@@82kmal You just contradicted yourself brother. These sisters are literally doing the opposite of encouraging or motivating. They are breaking and corrupting families. You are allowed to voice your challenges and seek help in fact you are encouraged to do so, but you cannot speak opposing Islamic Shari'a as these sisters have done.
Brothers, I’m a man and I’ve met Muslim brothers that abuse the 4 wives verse. So it’s not off for women to make the claim for men who are not perfect and abuse it. I’m talking outside the parallels of the normal struggles with polygamy. Understand it’s not a walk in the park not even for the prophet but a lot of men these days abuse it
I come from a polygamous community. It's an utter mess. It's abused sooooo much and they absolutely don't care about women's feelings. May Allah preserve us ameen. Salam
@@sisterfleur7523 I agree. Because I’m a man and I’ve seen it being abused. I don’t want to air out my own community but some things I see is disgusting. Using our sisters in faith only as sex objects. And it’s not just 1 case. It’s multiple. Quran says if you can’t do just, then only have 1 wife. I’d say 95% of men can’t do just. It’s not some birth right that’s promised to us. It’s an option and a privilege. And me personally its best to consult before hand about these things to see if wife is even down.
@@waleedasad7072 I’m aware brother.. but 1 thing at a time. This is not a man vs woman war. We should understand and love each other as equals. We each have nuances in regards to rules prescribed by God but it’s not to hurt each other. Women are to be taken care of, shouldn’t have to pay for nothing. And should be protected all the way til death. Men are allowed 4 wives if we treat them justly. If not just 1 wife. And the wife is liable for bearing him children amongst other pleasures if the moment presents itself. That is what Allah has prescribed man and woman, but again shouldn’t be used to hurt one another
I didn't see anything wrong with what the sisters said. They approached the topic in a mature way, They have voiced out the realities of polygamy and what it does to women. One of the effects of polygamy that needs to be addressed is The effect it has on children, Children become insecure and tend to overthink , They feel less loved by their father and some children end up villainising them . Men should consider this effect because it's less talked about . They should constantly show and remind their kids that they still love them because kids also feel betrayed
My father has 2 wives and at no point have i ever felt insecure. From his second wife (my mother) he had 10 children from his first wife he had 4 children. Not only are we not insecure I'd say we're Alhamdulilah a very successful family. My grandfather was also married twice and our family back home in Pakistan is actually a well respected honorable family. My uncles own companies and properties through out Dubai, Kuwait and Pakistan. I only mention this because broken insecure people are rarely successful rather they're are low achievers. Both my mother and my father's other wife get along very well father is just to both women and provides for both of them. I am part of a massive family and I swear by Allah I wouldn't have it any other way.
@@adamkhan1744 that's the difference. you are from Pakistan where it's common and the norm. Alhamdulillah you are lucky u had a good experience but it's not the same for everyone. We must be mature to realize that everyone has different experiences and ine doesn't invalidate the other. Trying to practice in the west where it's not the norm and in a society where it may also not have any legal recognition gives rise to all sorts of issues that you won't understand unless you've experienced it or seen it first hand.
@@oulangkous718 I beg to differ in western society a man has 2/3/4 girlfriends which is basically polygamy without the marriage and responsibility. This is where polygamy fixes this issue and gives a woman honour respect and rights where as western men just indulge in zina with numerous women and discard them when they're done.
@@adamkhan1744 according to whom? that's a big misconception being pushed by these online duaat as if it's facts. maybe in their circles they just know corrupted brothers but other families produce good brothers. especially those who attended islamic schools or were home schooled and even some from public schools if their parents were hands on with raising them to understand the deen with taqwa. additionally they like to say it's impossible for a man to be satisfied with one woman but what they dont tell you is that a man who had slept around will have other experiences to compare to their wife and if they had better than what she offers they will always yearn for more. whereas a mumin who has taqwa and only experienced one woman, she will be the best he had cos she's all he had. Prophet Muhammad pbuh managed with one woman for at least +- 15years. so it's very possible.
@@oulangkous718 I am born and raised in the England and still live here. Islam in the west isn't what it was 10 years ago yes there is more knowledge available about Islam more than there ever has been to your average layman but the Islamic situation in England has worsened. Women wear convertible hijabs skin tight abayas work in free mixed environments and some how justify it with Islam. I don't see how these people think they have figured out 1400years worth of Islam in the last 6-8 years. The problem in England and especially America isn't just the lack of proper Muslim men it's the lack of traditional Muslim women. Who think they can go out to work in a Turban Hijab free mix with men at work come home and expect an aalim to be sat at home waiting for her.
I am a Muslim woman, and I admit, polygamy in itself isn’t the problem, it’s about the Muslim brothers that have abused this form of Sunnah practice and made their wives feel like side chicks. Some men do not honor their wives and cannot marry another wife because they simply cannot afford to and will not treat people equally. Polygamy itself is halal, some Muslim brothers have broken the ethic so much so that a woman feels uncomfortable to be in this wreckage style of marriages. Allah loves those who are best to their families. Polygamy is halal, and we accept that. Something needs to be done about some brothers who commit heinous grivienances to their families NOT because they got another wife, but the maltreatment of the wife parties involved
the abuse can happen within the confines of either a monogamous or polygamous marriage. so one doesn't preclude the other. it has to do with the person not which marriage style they have.
@@Full2635 are you stupid? is it a woman’s fault that her husband turned out to be abusive or favours the second wife over the first. how is she supposed to know how he would be like that, some people fake being nice they fake acting character
A reason why I believe a man should let his wife know of his intentions to remarry is to explore the reasons WHY he wants to seek another wife. It opens up a dialogue between the husband and wife and communicates respect. Most of the men I know who have remarried/expressed their desire to remarry is because they’re ‘issues’ in the marriage. What marriage doesn’t have issues. I’m not against polygamy but I am against a man seeking another wife simply because he is dissatisfied with his first wife but HASN’T exhausted any efforts to try to reconcile with her. Thats a recipe for disaster as he’ll be entering the second marriage on the wrong footing, as immediately theres more chance he will favour the second wife and no doubt yrs down the line run into the same unresolved issues within himself with the second wife!
He can choose to remarry if he has the capacity for it, regardless if there are issues within the first marriage or not. Your comment is full of emotional wording, you are exactly the same as the females on the podcast. Also he doesn’t have to communicate the reason why he wants to do that, your test is to accept it and be patient as long as he treats his wives fairly then there should be no problem.
@@xAmiin I don't agree with this line of reasoning brother. It is true a man can make this decision without consulting the wife (as the Prophet did so), but if he knows it would be better to do so (it's likely that the Prophet, living in a polygamous society, knew his wives would expect him to take other wives even if their marriage was healthy), then he should do so. Husbands should always treat their wives best as possible, as the Prophet taught us. The sister brings up a good point and a wise man would consider this advice and take it to heart
A man doesn't need to "communicate" if he wants another wife. He can take upto 4 how he likes. If a man does what you said, it would make him seem weak and pathetic honestly.
La Hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. Why are you obligating a man to know how he will feel in let's say, five years from now? She a muslimah? He a muslim? Entering nikah contract? Legislation is by THE Legislator. Has He obliged men to, upon entering the first nikah, explore why they would want to marry a second, third, fourth wife? La Hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. Don't you realize, it is the other way round: if anything, it is the first wife who should then explore what it is in her that doesn't allow her to peacfully submit and accept, completely pleased with the reality that her husband has THE RIGHT to marry three more wives, if he is able and if he wants to. It is not her right to set the boundaries before hand, while the husband in 10 or 15 years from now could get able and feel need to marry an other wife? It is so painful to read these comments, where the bottom line is clearly the modern concept, and not the natural, fitrah concept.
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
This is what happens when you take random people on the internet such as Hijab and Dawah for teachers and ignore the qualified ones. Hijab can master Aristotelian logic but has no problem with misleading through red herring because the sisters’ video was about ABUSING through polygamy, rather than polygamy in its default state being abusive. The assumption that Hijab is completely objective and possesses an Islamic rational understanding which can go unchallenged says a lot about many people who follow him. There is a clear bias which is THEN rationally justified. Any bias or deception can be logically supported and this is how human beings work. Hijab's lean towards a material understanding of the religion. Furthermore, observing his temperament, he seems like a competitive alpha (at least outwardly) who cannot tolerate the challenges by women men are having in our time and place. For this anyone can go miles and beyond to restore their ego again. This is patriarchy packed as Islamic right there and you all take it for what it has been presented like. If you think that you are is serving Allah through such content then you should truely reconsider it. I’m not sure if the people in the comment section even gave a chance to the video done by the sisters- because if you did you’d realize that he twists a lot of things. The sisters' video started directly with a disclaimer saying that Allah said that polygamy is allowed and there is no doubt about that and the permissibility was Not the topic of discussion since the matter is crystal clear. She then very clearly said that the discussion was limited to how it is being done wrongly in the society we are living in . The other sister in green khimar even extended on her point saying (paraphrasing) ' We know what it's supposed to look like when it's done correctly because we have the prophetic model for such attestation '. She used the word "spiritual abuse"(which by the way is not a buzz word and is an actual category of abuse) for explaining when there could be a misuse of power , she illustrated an example saying a person in such circumstances could use the "God card" i.e excusing abusive tendencies through 'supportive material' that 'religiously excuse' these types of behavior (when in reality it doesn't). Then they got into how many women today are psychologically suffering from this toxic relationships. They exemplified actual sisters who struggled to the point of psychological malfunction and had their children at stake as a result of this. And here Hijab's hyperrational explanation is that (1) spiritual abuse is a term used in feminists circles (2) islam allows such pain to be tolerated. It is hyperrational because it goes beyond the boundaries of the need of rationality and instead justifies extremes (1)I have never heard of feminists using the term spiritual abuse. But even if that was the case. Feminists can use the word "chair" and it would still not say anything about the term having an exclusivity to them. Feminism only becomes problematic when it exceeds boundaries and no longer believes in limited parameters or anything objectively set. Feminists drink water that doesn't mean we should stop drinking water. Besides spiritual abuse is akin to the shaytan's way of misusing islam. The satan according to our scholars have islamic knowledge, but the satantic element is what makes it not islamic. This includes (but is not exclusive to) not having love , and it includes as well evily justifying behaviour through islam. An example are kharijites. And this is what spiritual abuse is- you misguided people and deceive them through using islam. Someone could do all sorts of corruption and abuse and then reclaim their right through islam and the Quran talks about such archetype. Humanbeings need to justify behavior . It is ingrained in our psyche. This is why America paints muslims as terrorist before going to war. (2) Here is where I'm saying that Hijab's explanation seemed hyper rational. Islam and asymmetry and the allowing of pain. Pain and discomfort are instrinticly part of life, yes. Trials are painful and the wisdom is to submit to Allah. But islam is not hyperrational to the point it doesn't recognize harm beyond accepted scope. Now saying that women can have depression as result of abusive polygamous marriages because islam allows that- this is completely misplaced. One of the shari'i principles is to protect the sanity of the muslim men and woman which includes their psychological health and the prophet pbuh said that the dignity 'Hurma' of each muslim is inviolable. Marriage in islam is not about the lower self, and has a lot to do with the union of families. It's more about uniting with so many families and fufill all the conditions while maintaining excellence. The sisters even mentioned the children being at stake due to the impact it has had on the mother's psychological health post finding out- if children aren't the greatest of the amanah to take care of then what is the real point here? Hijab shouldn't dismiss this point. If you believe in complete legal positivism where pain is allowed I understand but then why justify inconsistently when it's for the opposite gender? It is inconsistent because Hijab either justifies his perceptions with (1) hypperational arguments derived from religious or non-religious sources (2) evolutionary psychology of men's upper hand or any biological explanations of men's nature. The example of this was last video of polygamy in which Dawah was asserting the point on male nature and polygamy . Another example is a video in which Hijab with Naima B. Roberts were speaking and Hijab expressed his disgust with muslim women that wanted the financial benefits of traditional marriage where men are being providers as well as the modern benefits . He never justified such archetype with being any evolutionary psychology explanation . He outrightly said he was disgusted. That is nothing compared to women accepting the abuse you are promoting and yet you are not disgusted with that to the slightest degree which is selfish. This whole point of women as accepting abuse seems to ignore how Quran speaks of marriage as a sacred bond in which wife and husband and how it is a worship of fulfilling this sunnah. And it ignores how the Quran says that this relation is established on Mawadda (love and mercy) as a sign and not a tyrannical transaction which the wife should bear. 'And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from among yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this, there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think.” (30:21). It also ignored the prophetic excellence towards women and the farewell speech. So in the end of the day it's not even about islam but about men that want to justify corruption. Just like sidi Shaykh Abdal-Hakim Murad (may Allah preserve him) that says "It is better to be a naïve believer than an intellectual bereft of intuition" May Allah protect us. Amin.
@@aminam4547 , ya mine got deleted. I had so many likes I also brought one official fatawa. Also see the comments very few with strong decent whereas on twitter these clowns are getting trolled.
Stopped reading your essay after you complained about the “patriarchy”. Patriarchy means men holding most of the positions in a government. In Islam it’s haram for women to be leaders, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said “people who appoint a woman to be their leader, will never achieve success” (Sahih Bukhari).
@@Theshowoffcollector I mean it's up to you if you want to read it or not. You did however stumble on a small stone and miss the big elephant in the room.
I think the sisters held an intelligent conversation which needed to be had. Please brothers, let's not nitpick for the sake of it. Why is it when a woman expresses her view/experience of polygamy that brothers always go on witch hunt and feel they need to refute. Brothers, at the beginning of the vid the sisters say Allah swt has spoken on polygamy and we accept. KHALas, why have you made this video if it is not to disect the conversation and infer your own interpretation and meanings. Take a seat and let sisters speak build safe spaces to speak and share ideas w/o brothers jumping on the bandwagon and screaming feminist. This video is so out of order of you.
Absolutely. It seems as if screaming “feminist/feminism” is the latest boogeyman to be unleashed & targeted towards Muslim sisters who dare speak out about concerns they may have. How difficult is it to conceive the idea that Muslim women are able to formulate ideas independent of feminist theory. This culture of brothers racing to chastise & “refute” Muslim women raising concerns with knee-jerk reactions of “You are corrupting the ummah” “spreading feminist rhetoric” is an effective silencing tool with a clear goal to discourage more sisters from speaking up.
So when has "feelings" "layers of trauma upon trauma, spritual abuse" only become the moral compass in Islam. If you live in the west you would get shivers and cold when you see Islamic justice meted out to a criminal especially a robber, a bandit or a rapist so would you cry like it is "layers of trauma upon trauma" thus negating what is revealed directly in the Quran???
As someone who has various friends whom sisters are literally all getting treated like 2nd class women after her spouse re-married, no one of those fulfil the condition of Surah An-Nisa 4:3. As regards the permission to marry more than one wife (up to 4), it is so restricted by the condition by quran itself, “If you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then marry only one". A permission which is conditional upon his determination and ability to, not only by the desire itself, even it's also a valid part. Just show me one of your example man who's taking care of widows, reconciling families through marriage, freeing slaves, and educating his wives in the teachings of Islam. I might know one of various guys who is doing it right, so what's the conclusion for those that did marry various wifes, without even fulfiling the condition? This is the question that we need to get answered.
What is a "Second Class woman"? As opposed to "first-class women"? Not sure what your definition of justice is -- no Gucci bags for all? Interesting how you don't talk about what women have to bring to the table. My friend literally paid for his wife's med school -- ofc that's his responsibility -- but also cooked for the house while working two jobs all to also pay for HER parent's rent, debt, and bills plus HER brother's college tuition. She now asserts it is her right to let her go to another country to start her medical residency for 3-5 years. Tell me that's just. Tell me he does not have permission to remarry if she decides to pursue her "right". And is my friend being treated as a "second class man"?
@@michiga5220 He did not know her that well. We do not date as Muslims and last I checked we should not blame the victim ... or is it okay to blame the victim cause it is a man in this case?
@@SlazeM7 I see what you mean but the advice I will be taking for myself is that marriage is such a serious matter you HAVE to have more discussions while unmarried with a potential spouse about needs, wants, study's, job opportunity and a whole lot of other stuff before getting married. Or then you will quite frankly yet yourself into a shit situation as you are describing and which I don't know what the best course of action is.
Some men learn to understand and empathize more with women's struggles after their daughters experience the same.. But then it is too late. Its easy to say women this women that.. but God forbid such a situation befalls one's own daughter or sister - that is when our eyes are opened to the reality of what their struggle.. All Muslim women are our sisters.. so please have some compassion while addressing these women.. The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was gentle in giving advice. You can be kind and impart advice - that's way more effective.
Brother wallah if it’s a issue for women we should be careful and understanding of their emotions instead of calling them names as they are our sisters in deen - I love you for the sake of Allah but you needed to approach this more sensibly and understandingly jzakallahu khayr
A lot of women talk badly on polygamy . This is haram. But These women spoke well of it , they only just spoke on behalf of other womens experiences . These mens ego are out of this world . Didn’t even understand a word of these womens videos .
@@fatamorgana909 it is not a person’s statement. Qur’an is Allah’s words . How can you say the ayah was injustice. ?🙁. Ok Allah allowed not forced men to marry.If anyone can they should do.
I have to say this conversation that both of you had was incredibly disappointing. The sister CLEARLY said nothing wrong with polygamy and yet you were still putting words in her mouth as if she doesn’t agree with it. They were just expressing how some men use it as way to abuse their spouse which is true. This level of shaming people of just talking through their emotions is a big reason why so many younger people are just quietly leaving Islam. You guys are so we’ll educated Mashallah yet don’t you know one of the conditions for polygamy is to treat your wives equally and justly? Doing justice to others and being aware of huqooq al ibad is not a command of Islam? Is that just as you are insinuating something Islam doesn’t care about? This is clearly an example of when our ummat is just focused on rules rather than the hikmat and spirit of those rules. Something that people like imam ghazali warned us about smh
it is truly a blessing that Allah gave women khulaa as women can take matters into their own hands when dealing with a husband who lacks empathy and compassion and forces her into things that she can not accept
Women, for your own protection you can write it down in your nikkah contract that he cannot marry another woman and that will be the end of it as it becomes forbidden for him. Just as he has his rights, you have yours, but also make sure this is something discussed before marriage so you don’t end up broken x
@@leilaabdelmeguid3977 It is, the least you can do is divorce the guy if he marries another by stating this beforehand on the contract for your own protection. Those who say no are only saying no for backwards cultural reasons & because they expect women to just be okay with it and act as if we have no rights (typically ‘men’) when we actually do Alhamdulillah.
@@webiplus you can put anything you want in a marriage contract and it is your right as long as it’s not encouraging something haram or going against the deen. Polygamy isn’t fard and is permissible for certain circumstances. Not wanting your husband to marry another woman is not haram and putting it in a contract is fine as it is up to the individual to accept or deny. No one is forcing anyone here, it’s simply a unique agreement between a man and woman and each contract will be unique to the couple. I know a girl who put that she refuses to do dishes and her husband cannot expect it of her in their marriage. Weird request but also totally valid under the law. If you don’t like it just don’t accept it, but it’s unfair to think that women have no rights to have a say in the matter because we do. If we feel strongly enough about it to put it in our contract then it is our right and you are not going to take that away or manipulate it into being haram when it isn’t.
So much gaslighting happening in this video... they twisted what was said by the woman and didn't bother actually listening to what their concerns are with polygamy, which in fact proved what the ladies said about spiritual abuse. A lot of woman get emotionally blacked mailed into staying with their husbands which causes a lot of trauma. These comments from a lot of men show how selfish they are and put only their needs first with no care for their wives which is extremely sad, no respect for their spouse at all shocking!
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption... """And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance. To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire. In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire. Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.) Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it. This verse reminds us of the danger! Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption... Destroying the frist marriages!. Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim """And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance. To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire. In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire. Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.) Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it. This verse reminds us of the danger! Polygamy marriages come under desires!
“Gaslighting” - a word that has been developed by white atheist feminist women to downgrade men. Now it’s unfortunately been used by Muslims sisters 😔 😔
Please tell us the data what percentage of women initiate divorces in america for example it’s near the 80 percentage. Don’t say lots of men black mail without any proof your speaking from Emotion
@@adamj6724 Simply read the comments, the proof is literally in your face but don't want to accept it that's fine. Look how so many men in these comments are belittle woman saying its their right and completely disregarding and disrespecting a woman point of view. why do you think more woman initiate divorce in America?
They didn’t say the institution of polygamy is spiritual abuse, they said when men go about it the wrong way and women get upset by that and end up disliking their polygamy situation and men tell them something is wrong with them and they are going against Islam because they don’t like the wrong way in which it is being practiced….THAT….is the spiritual abuse. I haven’t watched your entire video yet and I don’t have time to at the moment but that part there….. I started off watching this video with an open mind interested to see you alls opinions about the video, however, when you all said the sister was mixing in kufr because she disliked the practice of polygamy when she clearly didn’t say that, that rubbed me the wrong way and set the tone for how I feel you all are going to misrepresent the rest of what these ladies have said.
But neither did the sisters explain how polygyny should be practiced according to Quran and Sunnah. All they did was emotionally rant and never once quoted Quran and Sunnah.
They didn’t give any examples of the wrong way and how to do it the right way. They were talking about how as a women to deal with polygamy if you dislike it - which is basically talking about polygamy in general.
I doubt you came with an open mind, you came here defending them as part of defending the sisterhood. Now if you listen to that they said and the association they made with something that Allah made halal and the prophet practiced you know clearly why hijab said that they are bordering on kufr... Bother Muhammed hijab uses verses from the Quran and examples from the prophet's life to help his argument unlike the sisters you're defending... Put your emotions aside and try to watch it fully with a true open mind, they make a lot of good arguments which I think you'll find benefitial
Assalam alaykoum, I am a revert and to answer brother Ali’s question. I think the right way to do polygamy is openness and communication. For men not to keep the marriage secret from anyone, for men to understand that there will be a period of emotional struggle and talking about any negative feelings and trying to resolve them together, how is this going to impact our relationship. Then what happens depends, certain relationships would thrive in a polygamous situation and others will suffer. I think if the sister ultimately decides to request a divorce from her husband or a sharia council, that decision should be respected.
Masha Allah sister what you just said it's what Islam tell us to do.. is to consult you guys in a very good manner..because you also have right...and yes if you refuse our reasons, yes you can ask for divorce.
Khulla can be requested. But is that really a valid reason ? That's what needs to be thought about and considered. If you decide to leave a good man who has met his obligations , then is that really a sound decision? I haven't watched the video yet. Maybe they explain what I have said.
Men facing the high likelihood that the first wife will divorce him and ruin the home of the children is exactly why men would rather go about it in secret.
I didn’t watch the whole video as I felt it very unfairly attacked the sisters that were only trying to address a serious issue .The argument of not needing to show compassion to a sister suffering in a polygamous marriage is just cold and out of character for Muslims. Of course it is the right of a man,no one is disputing this. The woman also has her God given rights that also need to be met. When a Muslim is dealing with a trial ,they need compassion. No one wants to be told to suck it up and get over it. Would you say that to a person suffering from cancer? No! You would remind them of Allahs reward and seeking help and patience in what Allah has chosen for them. If someone loses a child would you say , stop grieving and get over it, Allah doesn’t burden a soul beyond what they can bare? No! You would deal with them with the best manners and compassion. Why would you expect a sister not to feel sadness when her husband has taken another wife? Maybe women shouldn’t love their husbands in order to protect themselves? Of course not, the woman will go through a period of loss and should be properly advised with compassion. Don’t even get me started on men that can’t afford one family, but feel entitled to have another family. Wives and children have rights that must be met before even considering a new family. May Allah enlightenment men and put mercy in their hearts for women, May He give patience to the sisters being tested with what they love most Ameen
@@Ibrah-ibrah JazakAllah khair for such a well written explanation. Alhumdulilah for knowledgeable people that are able to understand and help others to also grasp the truth.
@Western Liberal Ideology-leftNright-isHYPOCRITICAL hurts like hell better to be single than experience the amount of emotional pain a person go through.I had nightmares and nifo years.I have been single for years and I can say I would rather much be single than ever be in that kind of situation again
I think the problem is this polygamy topic is becoming girls vs boys. These sisters are not talking about the good muslim men who want to get a co wife. They are talking about situations where a brother is struggling with one wife- and then all of a sudden they bring another member to the already weaknesses there is. Respect to sisters who have the strength and agreement for polygamy happily. But also sisters who struggle with it - should not be shunned. Bringing another wife into the family- affects everyone. Everyone has a say- to what they are mentally able to deal with. No compulsion in the deen. A man who forces a wife to wear a hijab for eg- will not get the same acceptance from that wife towards it as the one where the husband has been patiently and with love educating her about hijab. The mother comparison does not work. A cowife affects their own personal life directly. A man has a duty to protect his wife. That does not just mean with muscles. But her mental state and state of iman too. A woman puts children needs before her own- as they are under her as amanah. Likewise a woman is an amanah on the man. If a man can see this ‘force of decision’ will affect his wifes, (the mother of his children ) iman and mental state- is it worth it ?
I agree. And here we havemen saying it’s sunnah so we shouldn’t care about women’s “weak nature”. This is the exact type that isn’t morally equipped to be responsible of other people’s well-being, wives or even children.
The jealousy woman feel isn't even real jealousy. It's something they learned from other woman who look at a woman who's married to a man that has multiple wife's. In the past woman would find other woman they believed we're good so the husband would marry them. Most men that had some money had multiple wife's. It's not in the nature of a woman to be jealous of another wife unlike men which have a strong desire to not even let his wife be seen let alone. It's culture.
@@moealtwil7833 so the prophet’s wives that experienced jealousy wasn’t in their nature but learned from other women? And what is your source of information for women and men’s natures? Ps: Men’s strong desire to not let their wives be even seen is insecurity
@Western Liberal Ideology-leftNright-isHYPOCRITICALhonestly I’ve heard of a couple women that are completely okay with it but it’s because they’re absolutely done with their men lol and would love for another woman to inherit the responsibility of caring for an adult in addition to their kids Basically men with an %100 indifferent wife are usually a burden rather than a partner.
As believing women we submit to the will of Allah...we worship Allah... Not our husbands. We submit to his infinite wisdom which transcends our limited understanding. Islam is a religion focusing on all rather than individual whims... Alhamdulillah for Islam. We live in a highly romanticised time.. where we think this perfect love story exists for us... We set ourself up for failure by making this standard our goal. Our marriages, children, living and dying all should be for the sake of Allah azawajal... Nothing else. This will bring our hearts true contentment and peace. ❤️
@@hasaansyed5027 Why do muslims french kiss black stone pagan style? And why is the symbol for pagan moon god Lah, the crescent moon, on top of every mosque?
I am very sad, brothers, why all this attack on these women? You didn't even talk about the basic condition that allows a man to have polygamy? Justice and integrity are a prerequisite for polygamy. Many men do not know the rights of one wife, so how will justice be achieved between two people? And to be fair, many of the male brothers are trying to do so, as they know women's rights only in theory and do not know how to apply it in practice. Perhaps they did not find a good role model in their lives, and they did not find someone to guide them from old men with experience in happy families. I mean, look around you and you find that those who have good parents are successful in their relationships. Contrary to those who have fathers, they did not have the blessing of understanding and agreement with women, and these are the majority in this time in which we live. Also, there are other reasons, such as raising children in our time, which is not what it was before. They did not get enough experience to grow up as mature men due to lack of social experience. The main point I want to convey is that if a man is financially and physically able and has the successful personality to manage situations that make him satisfied all parties, he married another woman in a right way, his wife would never think of leaving him.
polygamy is a man's right, so you saying "many men dont know women's rights" yet you are trying to dismiss the man's right which is he can have other wives, sound hypocritical.
@@vortexlight8387 he wasn't dismissing polygany, it's a wise fact that if you know your rights and the rights of your spouse, your marriage has a better chance of success. Better to discuss what kind of school of thought you follow, how you plan to live, difference in praying or not, discuss all these things before entering a marriage, and you have a better head start than many ignorant relationships.
@@vortexlight8387 yes but there are rules before men can take other wives. and guess what a woman does not have to agree with you she can divorce you for exactly this. that is her right as a wo too. now move on and stop acting as if wo do all this for their pleasure. no these are tests from god from the headscarf to always wearing longsleeves etc and having to accept your husband taking a second wife. these are not fun things to do but most do it not for their love to their husbands but to their gods. and even there god is good and gives them right to ask to divorce
Have you noticed that non of the complains they made are islamically justified like the man not providing, or not fulfilling any number of his marital duties.
If you follow the money you will always find the Intent; this women has a business where she consults with ppl that go through “infidelity” = polygamy as she calls it. she is just creating customers for herself by labeling them traumatized. She is literally selling the deen for few cents 😭🤮
Isn't there a hadith that states that if a man does not treat his wives equally and with fairness he will be brought forward on judgement day as half paralysed? Can a man love one wife the exact same as he loves another wife? It's not just about material things. Can a man give his second wife the same time and love and care as his first? If he can then good for him. If they are happy to live in such a marriage good for them. But if a woman does not want to live in such a marriage will she be punished for choosing to leave according to Quran or sunnah?
I think this is needed to counteract what seems to be becoming a movement against polygamy. But what these sisters talk about is real, the abuse happens and it’s very real. I have seen sisters destroyed by brothers who very much do abuse them spiritually , just like this was needed ,brothers speaking out against the injustice of their fellow brothers is also needed . Maybe another video explaining that regardless of whether all Men are polygamous or not , polygamy is not a joke and with one wife or four , the rights should not be abused and women should not be oppressed. I know woman who’s husbands have oppressed them and beaten them for years then taken second wives while not financially providing and other brothers in the dawah field have turned a blind eye as to not make the dawah scene look bad . The video you made would have been better without the mockery and with a little understanding of why this movement is rising , it’s the other extreme and caused by lack of acknowledgment of the real oppression faced by sisters . Both sides need to get of the defence and realise that it’s not about who will win the argument , it’s about teaching men and woman both the right way to maintain and uphold a happy home .
@@myffc8896 they feel that way because of how bad it has gotten many men abuse polygamy (btw we aren’t just talking about that little jealousy because it’s normal even the prophets wives had it) we are talking about something else the fact that many men abuse polygamy it has stricken fear into many sisters hearts/it has given polygamy a bad name. And it’s not talked about, people seem to always want to cover the underlying issue
@@myffc8896 things Mohammed hijap and Ali should understand is that the Sisters channel is mostly based in talking about experience things from others perspectives, struggles within the community that are overlooked. and the message Muslim sisters convey is not wrong not in their world/in their perspective, from the perspective of Muslim sisters polygamy to them is what (people) has established what polygamy is, not what Islam has established. (and a large amount of those people are the ones who have abused it/or they are the ones that have seen/heard about the abuse and decided to do nothing about it), that's why the sisters (whom ali and hijab are reacting to) that's why they are speaking about this problems because we aren't meant to run away from problems but confront them and find the underlying issue otherwise the problem will become bigger..
@@myffc8896 and let me ask you something, let's say the city you live in you hear one or two people were beaten badly while going to buy some grocery or ice cream at night, the one that did the beating was never caught, and there is still a very good chance out there for you to get beaten up by someone....the question is.... Will you ever feel safe to walk out at night, and if you decide to walk out at night will you bring some sort of protection with you?.
@@myffc8896 you guys aren't understanding what they are saying, they aren't attacking Islam nor polygamy/good pious Muslim men, their intention is not to attack y'all are missing the message behind their sayings which is so easy to pinpoint, this brothers are really just dragging it, when you are done watching this try to watch the sisters video/understand it. Try to see it through their eyes, put yourself in their shoes for you to maybe understand it better, because I really don't see what y'all are trying to prove, how can harmless talk about someones experience be dangerous. I'm really trying to understand your point of view but I just don't see it.
@@myffc8896 yes that's exactly what I'm trying to say, and anyone in your place would do the same/or bring some protection like you did with ayatul kursi, or any other in your place would try to avoid staying out at night late, they would always processed with caution. Do you understand now the message behind this.
Invalidating women’s feelings is the reason why feminism is born. Kindly approach this issue with compassion and empathy towards the more vulnerable sisters..
Watch her video about mahr. "Its my right" "girls ask for the highest mahr" "if u cant afford that your a broke mandem". Same back to her: its a mans right to marry 4 wives. Her: omg "the god card" "spiritual abuse" "omg bullying".
We are talking about religion here. There is no place for your personal feelings. I am a woman, I have personal issues with the matter. But it is a fact, that my husband has the right to have 3 other wife's besides me. I have to accept it, because Allah allowed it for him. Period. My feelings are my own problem. I have to work on my Iman, on my tawakkul and on my desires. That's it. And I know for a fact that I would have issues. But it is my own problem. And to be fair, isn't it better for the other women, to have their rights? Do you want them to be a disrespected side chick? Is that what you want for your sisters?
@@AmeenaF19 empathy is a huge part of Islam. Look at the way Musa AS spoke with phaorah. Gently! And we can't even speak gently with out sisters In Islam. Speaking harshly pushes people away from the Deen, whether you like it or not
Many Brothers who want polygyny always defend it by saying it is legislated. Why do they not argue as passionately for Muslim men to perfect all the other legislations regarding prayer, charity and uprightness? If a man feels it is his right to have another right, why would he hide it? Why don’t these defenders stress that men have to be emotionally and financially able to care for more tan one family? Polygyny was a vehicle for securing safety and security for widows & orphans. It is embarrassing for the Ummah when we often see polygamous family supported by social welfare. Often. Or the women are the ones paying the majority of the bills. These women in Tea Talk are sharing real experiences . Truth hurts but is fact
How can you assume that they don’t talk about other important matters? Just because it’s a topic you don’t like you can’t assume that’s all they talk about
This is a very bad argument. People only make this argument when they have nothing to stand on. You can find a local masjid where brothers and sisters are defending those other things like prayer, you can find various charity programs also.
Can’t we just follow what Allah SWT says in the Quran about Polygamy? It seems to me it’s pretty clear. “And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women, two, three, or four. But if you fear being unfair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses, for that will make it less likely that you act unfairly.” 4:3
Exactly! Thank you! God specifically said to treat them justly. It would take an incredibly righteous man to achieve this. And if the prophet did it, he was a PROPHET! All other men are not prophets.
As a non-Muslim who is interested in Islam, it’s attitudes like Ali and Mohammed’s that give Islam a bad reputation to outsiders. The Western perception is that Islam treats women as second-class citizens whose feelings and wellbeing don’t matter. These women acknowledged that polygamy is halal and simply explained how hurtful it can be when a husband goes about it in an unfair or sneaky way. This could have been an opportunity for these two men to talk about how men can be better when approaching polygamy within their own families. Instead, they’re strawmanning at these two women as if they said that polygamy is wrong or something. In short, they are criticizing and belittling women for speaking openly about how men behaving badly can be hurtful.
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
Islamic ruling and sharia isn't malleable or a caretaker of the feelings and emotions of individuals.. rather, it's objective morality that comes from God that we all are submitted to.
@@mohammednur6169God created human pain and suffering. He knows what causes it and how to cure it. Do u truly believe that the Allah whose prophet died warning his Ummah to be better to there women, would allow you to harm your wife like this. You are one of the Ahlul Biddah
I want to become a muslim to have four wife's and to bit them if they get out of line. devoted like the quran say. Lol 😂🤣 Question ❓ in the quran did allah created one Eve for Adam or 4 wife's lol .👉just One 💃🕴️ Not 4 Eve muhammad said 4💃💃💃💃lol
@Dismissed Jersey! Chiffon feels very nice but it tears so easily and many chiffon hijabs are handwash-only (: jersey is much more stretchy and durable, plus it often comes in longer sizes
@Dismissed chiffon imo, but then again I've never tried jersey. Chiffon is crispy, classy, and stylish. If you get good quality one, you can machine wash it. Jersey is good for the summer.
I haven't watched the video yet but people make such a big deal of polygynous marriages. I am the second of three wives. My husband's first wife arranged the marriage to me and I arranged the marriage of my husband to his third wife. We, the co wives love each other an never had any drama to be honest. İt can work if everyone involved is mature
I don't think the definition of abuse is clear to you. A woman marrying a man her mother doesn't approve of is sad for the mother, but it's not abuse. In fact, the other way around, that is, if the daughter didn't marry the man because her mother didn't want to, THAT would be abuse. A man finding out his wife is cheating is heartbreaking for the man, but not being able to see her being punished in public is not abuse. It would be abuse if after finding out about her affair he were forced to stay in the marriage without any possibility of divorce. These examples are not comparable to the experiences the sisters in the video were talking about.
As a man, those women are correct in saying that polygamy isn’t a comfortable thing a lot of men tend to think women have a different type of heart compared to men and that is not so. Men and women feelings are the same equally.
women aren't forced into polygamous marriages, if they don't want to get into a contract like it they can do their due diligence before marriage, or divorce the husband if he wants to marry again during their marriage and it wasn't even discussed. She cant forbid the husband from doing it but nor is she compelled to stay.
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
To be fair there are bad examples of polygamy as I am sure there are good examples. My maternal grandfather practised polygamy and spent most of his time in one country with his children there, yet his children and wife from another country he hardly ever saw. Indeed my late mother only saw her father three times in her entire life! He sent money for his wife and children, but he was not physically present. This was actually an injustice, not only for my maternal grandmother but also for her children. It does clearly stipulate in Islam that if you cannot do justice, then to marry only one wife. Essentially my grandmother was a single parent. Polygamy effects not only a wife, but does effect children also and not always in a good way!
The problem as you outlined is not polygamy but its misuse. A knife and monogamy and a shoe can all be used for incorrect purposes. Btw im really sorry for your grandmother faced. That wasn’t fair.
@@centeredmuslim3436 As I've said there are good and bad examples of this. Some women and men are happy with this arrangement, (I am aware of some that are) and there doesn't need to be an honourable reason to marry a second wife, however you must treat all your wives honourably and fairly. Personally, if I was a guy I would worry about how much it would cost to have a second wife, especially because of the rising cost of living and also about my fate on the day of judgement, if I didn't do justice to both of my wives. Also I think all this heartache and distress could potentially be avoided if terms are stipulated within the marriage contract.
@@nadiayaqub3143 because you are not a man that is exactly why you won't understand, it's part of Allah's plan, and it's a need in a man to have more than one wife in his lifetime.
@@khaderlander2429 Not really! Not all males need to get another wife, some just want multiple wives. The prophet (saw) first marriage was a monogamous one, so it is also a sunnah to be monogamous. Not sure the point you're trying to make!
I think its an important conversation a man and a woman should consider having before getting married. Specifically what it would look like in terms of resources etc. Unfortunately, too many men who have no business taking a second wife and do not pass the basic requirements, they expect the first wife to suffer the consequences of their decisions on her household. He may take a second wife, but if he's unable to fulfil his obligations, then she has legitimate grounds to leave. It's not easy, and the burden is on the man to ensure its done smoothly and equitably. Allah SWT also advices a man to take one wife.
@@Azura-adamson I hope there’s room for respectful discourse. Polygamy is an option with conditions and not the norm. There was always a reason for the prophet’s (PBUH) marriages and consideration behind it but the modern view seems to be, I want a second wife so I will regardless & anyone who challenges me about it needs to review their faith. I think that’s the type of attitude the sisters were referring to.
@@amalali504 It goes both ways. If a man has the capacity to take care of a second wife, he's automatically turned into a villain, when infact our prophet, and most of the sahabas already practiced it. This is the behaviour that Ali & Hijab were calling out, that the moment if someone utters the word polygamy, you directly start throwing words such as "spiritual abuse".
@@tanveer5655 Agree and unreasonable behaviour should be called out whether it’s the man or woman is doing it. I understand what the lady was getting at but I never like people using secular wording/logic when discussing the Deen because the wisdom behind many permissible and none permissible acts transcends it and I find the whole virtue signalling cheapens the point she’s trying to make and doesn’t further sensible discussion. Beyond natural jealousy a woman may feel, I hope the husband is sensitive to the impact an addition would have on her world. There’s no doubt it was practiced by the salaf but I wish modern men would also emulate the spirit in which they did things, not just what they did.
I just wanted to point out that when you say reverts are more accepting and practicing of polygamy, the argument can be made about their concept of "pair bonding" if you've had multiple relationships outside marriage before Islam, polygamy is an easier pill to swallow than born muslims who were taught to wait for marriage. If you saved yourself for marriage it makes sense for sisters to want monogamy. If they can only have one partner, they want the same in return.
@@roxanneroxanne8061 she was already married for God's sake🤷♂. She was his master's wife. Dont you know the story. It was a call to zinna. Why don't you contrast his story to that of Ibrahim, Moses (acc to google) , David and Muhammad (saw) etc who had multiple wives. Forget about the west. You will be lost if you keep comparing your way to that of the west and trying to substantiate your opinions based on theirs. We have 2 different goals. They mainly want to maximize their dunya experience, while we want to maximize our akhira experience by following the commands of Allah
@@bestboy619 where in the Quran or Sunnah does it say men are polygamous in nature? None. Polygamy is permissible to protect women and provide for them. It was never about men's sexual desire.
A lot of the examples lack nuance. The effects of a single mother home can very well happen if a man who is juggling more than two wives, multiple children and has to provide financially,takes away from being the best husband a father to a single wife and children family unit, and all the pressure of rising god fearing children is put on the mother. The sisters clearly said they agree with polygamy, i think it would have been helpful for the two of you to speak on what men can do to make a polygamous marriage work according to the deen. It isn’t helpful for our ummah to have discussions without solutions. In terms of accepting what god has allowed, this video was very helpful, yet the issue at hand is still effecting the family unit and instead of speaking on how men and women can work together to uphold it, the tone of the video was “women need to accept polygamy even if the way its handled can very well eventually destroy the family unit. Which is sacred. Just because men are polygamous by nature doesn’t mean every man can handle it properly. Weighing the pros and cons and if the two who are married are honest and the man sees that his first wife may not be able to deal with the polygamy ( which isn’t an excuse for it not to happen and is on her to gain the strength and Iman to hold the family unit together) then he also is putting the family unit at risk. Polygamy isn’t mandatory for this very reason.
Bringing the children's emotions and trying to draw a correlation between that and Polygyny gone wrong? Children will still feel upset even if Polygyny was done right. Children can also feel upset of their parents have to leave for work, or even in examples of charity or aid workers who leave to go to different countries. Another example is the Sahaba, who used to leave for years to go for Jihad. Some even had to go give dawah and leave their families, and we even still have people leaving their children for months even years on end to go give Dawah. So life is full of twists and Polygyny isn't the only case where children can experience the emotional upset of not having their parent around from time to time. Allah is the best of planners.
and then imagine calling the second wife , "a sister with low standards" as the Somali sister put it. imagine that?! and if we are to go with their narrative that the husband kept it a secret, is the second wife really to blame? so really she's calling all the sisters who are 2nd, 3rd, 4th wives home wreckers / "sisters with low standards" Subhan Allah..🤦🏾♂
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
It gives me so much hope that the comments are so understanding and correcting of the wrong approach of this video. On the other hand it is appalling how little understanding is in this video
Watch her video about mahr. "Its my right" "girls ask for the highest mahr" "if u cant afford that your a broke mandem". Same back to her: its a mans right to marry 4 wives. Her: omg "the god card" "spiritual abuse" "omg bullying".
It comes down to, yes to polygamy "but".. theres allways the verbal judo, so many detractors here, but none of them are telling what the proper way of the act of polygamy should be.. still waiting.. crickets.
I’d say, prepare for the idea, and look at it from a realistic, religious and positive perspective. So many women refuse to submit to this idea, and get surprised with a second wife and then they crumble lose their minds.
@@Eastonwest71 you have to also take into account culture, if you haven't been raised in it, it's difficult you're not used to it. For me I've personally have prepared for it, it may or may not happen. Its a test from Allah. We're all tested, including men! But women think only were tested and the world revolves around our emotions. The way I see if you have a good husband then stay patient with him, if not then irs something you have to weigh out pros or cons. Life isn't a bd of roses.
@@Onajourney519 I strong agree. The health of the Culture/society/community makes a big difference. Culture, lack of religious knowledge, plus the world is more connected now with the internet making it easier to spread all kinds of toxic believes and behaviors to both men and women and even children. Testing times indeed. May Allah make it easier on us all.
@@Eastonwest71 you need to also prepare for the grave consequences of missing someone’s rights in it. And also women have a right to say that they don’t want to practice it coming into the marriage and if it happens and she wasn’t prepared then her leaving is not a big deal since it’s the mans fault and he ends up with one wife again so in that sense the benefit becomes questionable
Maybe when sisters talk about poly they should have a panel with sisters (especially older aunties) that are in polygamous marriages from different cultures, Arab, African and Asian backgrounds that way you get a more accurate understanding of what it is like.
that can't happen, mostly losers(or people looking for attention) come on the internet and participate in such things , and those women are few of the most secsessful in the world they usually if not all have like 10 or more offspring from chilldren to grandchildren that they care for on regular bases and they'r husbens if not dead are still around soo they gotta care for them too, my grandmother is such a women and i really think she doesn't have the time or desire to even talk about it xD
Coming from an environment repleted with feministic, secular, liberal ideas this is what we get. Sisters are inclining towards feministic narrative on polygamy sub consciously.
thats not relevant. their opinions are only helpful in the sense of how to deal with it. which is not the subject. their opinions are irrelevant just like the opinion of every human. allah has decreed something, so the only ones on the panel should be scholars answering their foolish concerns, and NOT other logically vacuous females (regardless if they agree or disagree is also irrelevant)
okey i get brother Ali, there is no "nice and good way" to do polygamy because of course the wife is always going to feel some type of way about it. I understand what he is trying to say. BUT there is a better way to do it than after 10 years of marriage with kids doing it behind her back. I'd say just be honest from the get go, during the engagement period be true to her and yourself so that she will know what she is getting into. If you intend to marry a second or third just be honest about it and don't lie to us. If you just marry one behind her back without ever really talking about polygamy with her she will feel useless and disresepcted. - that is my personal advice as a sister.😊
Hello sister, thanks for your thoughtful comment. But I have a thing to say here which is that this is already a man's right he shouldn't be in need of stating the obvious. It's like a man saying to his fiancé "Hey look, I'm gonna be completely honest! When we get married, I wanna have sex with you"! *Inset meme "Oh my god, wooow!" So the point is, this is deen, take it or leave it. A man should be strong and firm and should come and tell his wife I'm going to marry another woman and this has nothing to do with you. The wife has all the right to either accept or not. Sometimes the wife is completely dependent on the husband that she has no other way but agreeing. He then has to crown her patience with extra love and care. This is what we should be teaching.
@@kamalaittah485 but I don't think intercourse in the marriage and marrying a second wife can be compared. Because one of these two topics is sth that is emotionally very difficult for the women. Yes it is your right given by Allah swt., but that doesn't mean you should be insensitive. What are you going to lose if you are honest and compassionate towards her and try to put yourself in her situation. A lot of women want to pursue a family within a monogamous relationship which is why we have the option to write in the nikah contract that we don't want him to take a 2nd wife, therefore Allah swt knew it is not an easy thing for every women which is why we have been give this option.
@@szsa1926 It's actually insensitive to approach a girl for marriage and tell her "BTW, I'm going to marry on you sometime down the road". I mean what would be your reaction then? I don't see how this is applicable at all
@@kamalaittah485 the woman should be straightforwad and say what she wants, ideally just ask the man if he's interested in a polygamous relationship and then man should answer truthfully
Why did they divert from the topic and pose examples that have no relation to what to what the sisters are talking about. These men just don’t want to talk about how men can abuse parts of Islam for their own gain regardless of how the marriage/family is affected.
So you wouldn't say a husband who KNOWS his wife's gonna be heartbroken is selfish? You call it "his nature", but at the same time care little for woman's nature. Your "nature" are merely desires. How about men try and practice retaining those desires? Just something to think about.
@@hn1695 do you not think a woman may also become bored of her husband, fancy a fresh face, both sexes have to practice some sort of restraint else they would be no marriage
@@sarahm4516 women are different to men. Women don't desire multiple men and can love one man. This is their nature and our nature is different. It's how God made us unless you're a feminist operating from a false premise assuming we are all equal and exactly the same.
@@hn1695 we are equal in the sight of Allah swt, and the best one is the best in deed not gender. Not every household is built on love and a polygamous relationship does not necessitate love, i.e a man who has four wives does not evidence his ability to 'love more' merely by having multiple wives. Marriage as a construct would not allow women to be intimate with multiple men without serious negative consequences, which anyone of rational mind can agree would occur, however this doesn't evidence that women are incapable of loving more then one man, how many widows who remarried speak so fondly of their ex husbands, that it is clear their hearts still hold them dear, whilst also speaking fondly of their current husbands until they are clear that they also hold their current husbands in their hearts! Just because Pologamy is not appropriate for a woman, this doesn't evidence that a woman must therefore have no ability to desire more then one intimate partner!!!! it means she must content herself with only one for the greater good as marriage as an institution would mean for her harm if she had more then one husband. who said anything about love? the quran mentions spouses finding tranquillity in one another not love, love is not under a man or a woman's control, love can be defined as an intense and deep affection for a person, if this is the case, how many marriages are loveless on both the part of the man and the woman, this does not mean these marriages are not sucessfull. Do not be one of those who think marriage is a disney movie, and all love and rainbows, its a contact between a man and a woman, love may come, but it may not also.
I feel like you misunderstood the first point. It seems more like the sister was talking about brothers who are threatening their current wife with taking a second wife, which some sisters may feel like is spiritual abuse. (Not saying i agree with the point)
I repeat we need not only recognize those feelings are there but ALSO TALK THROUGH THEM. That’s like somone coming and telling you that their grandma died of cancer and they’re really sad. Then you precede to tell them don’t be so emotional my mom died of cancer Allah tests us all. Instead of you guys talking it through together and unpacking those feelings. Especially if you can relate because you too probably need to unpack some things. Studies show people who suppress or avoid their emotions can have huge interpersonal challenges.
@@iman7j887 no, its about evidence... those women, not only are they not qualified to have an opinion, but the reality is that they are a danger to themselves and others with such remarks... Until the normal, everyday Muslims realise that their entire existence after death is affected by their intentions, words and actions, and that their own feelings and opinions are detrimental to their salvation when in opposition to Islam, untill that day, you will have foolish people like those above, speaking about the religion like its a fashion choice...
I watched half of this episode and stopped and went back to the video they are reacting to. And from my point of view these brothers have misunderstood the whole message that our sisters are trying to point out. With out understanding the message our bothers here are jumping into conclusions. One thing that I realised is that this message or this discussion that our sisters are having are from a women's point of view and no matter how much a man tries to understanding the woman's point of view he will fail it needs a man and a half to understand a woman. I'm sorry to say is that this video was very dramatic and very misleading in many ways I hope that the topic of polygamy is brought up again and rather then reacting maybe try and understand how polygamy should be carried out and also understand that every woman has a right to react to this change to her life. I will continue to watch this video for the sake of hearing both sides of this but our brothers have to do better. May Allah bless and help us all. Edit I'm trying to understand our brothers but this is very disturbing
Agreed. I’ve watched both videos and in my humble opinion these two have completely not only missed what the sisters where trying to convey but, to top it off, where extremely rude and condescending in their tone. Calling these women selfish with an ego when they are literally talking about a very valid topic and are allowed to speak on issues that concern women. I honestly could not agree more with them. Polygamy is halal but the way men do it nowadays is absolutely messy and should be heavily criticised because it’s against the way our religion said to do it.
@@wtfisthisshizz very true. Its because this topic involves a man's actions it seems that there are getting too possessive and clearly can't understand what the sisters were actually talking about. They seemed to get emotional where one of them actually says 'shut up' multiple times directing it to women. It's sad that although it seems this video has had backlash these brothers don't see that the argument and inappropriate behaviour towards the sisters gives of a bad image and a bad influence to those who take them as role models
Thank you!, I have watched the sisters too, and these brothers just decided to be more dramatic, (toooo many) comments under this comment section lack so much understanding/empathy, and this video lacks understanding and empathy too
@@ninass8119 it is sad that muslim women are looked down upon by muslim men. It is heart breaking and sad to see that our sisters not only have to worry about non muslim men harassing her but also from her own community
The sister's statement that "Islamically says so but morally" made sense to me because I come from a polygamous community. Nevertheless, the sisters mean Islamically speaking, polygamy is permissible, however many people lack the moral maturity to engage in polygamous partnerships. When done properly, polygamy is beautiful, perhaps even more so than monogamy because there will be two or more times as much love. Despite the fact that, unlike most monogamous marriages, polygamy, in general, can be more detrimental if not handled properly. I can't even begin to count the amount of suffering I have witnessed sisters endure throughout the marriage (some brought on by themselves, by meddlesome inlaws, by co-wives, or husband), unlike brothers who don't truly understand the gravity of their actions until they are in their 40s or 70s and have seen the results in the lives of their children. who are no longer infants or young adolescents. Favoritism hierarchy in polygamous relationships, which affects both spouses and children, is a frequent example. As a result, one wife(+kids) experiences fewer provisions and spends less time with the other women and the kids. creates a lot of hatred and envy in the kids as they get older. I've also noticed that Muslim men from the west conceal their marriages, which results in the children not even having their last names. They also make their spouses appear to society as girlfriends, single mothers, baby mothers, or widows. Multiple sins, broken hearts, and loss of self-respect. These cases which are common are unIslamic. I would NOT recommend polygamy for the masses, I truly don't want brothers to sin that deeply because the reality of taking care of that many women/ kids without being a capable man can easily lead to destroying multiple family units.
"many people lack the moral maturity to engage in polygamous partnerships." based on what evidence? morally what? it all sounds like being against islamically
Flowlikewater almost gaslighting innit? I am not femenist at all and I believe in Islam and all, and I am not those women who really thing God made a mistake by allowing men to marry more than one women. But☝🏽 I am not blinded by now a days men do to women with polígamy, is not the same as how our fathers use to deal with it, and I am talking about men in the western world. Dealing with poligamy from a man raced in the west is different than men who where raced in other parts of the world. We can’t deny that if u don’t have the knowledge of poligamy, you don’t have the means to sustain it, or the maturity to deal with plus with wester rules of marriage.. is a caos.. the example they r putting about your Mather not liking ur partner nd stuff is nothing to do with what she is talking about.. spiritual abuse, she ment men using religion as a weapon and Muslim society pointing u if u feel sad tht ur husband married.. we are not allowed to feel because religion said is allowed when truly u are more sad because u know how much u held down for this man, and how much u fight for ur relationship despite him not complay with his obligation and a men, to turn around and marry when u know he won’t be able to handle two women let alone two household. Thts why some women are sad, not because of religion. They already predict their future and the future of their kids nd no body sees it or support u or try to advice him tht is not the right move. It’s sunna for god sake is not an obligation!!!!!! Learn to be a men and take care one wife then u can look for the next..
I liked how Br Hijab spoke about the emotions that parents go through when it comes to mixed race marriages. I say the same thing because I married outside my race. Then my husband got a second wife. And I saw how Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aala taught me things are halal but can hurt. I should have understood more where my parents were coming from. Alhamdulillah for everything. You live and learn.
Foolish as race is a social construct created to justify things like eugenics, it takes less than 5 minutes to find this out with simple research, please dont blame a 'race' but blame the person
There's nothing wrong with marrying a different race or your husband getting a second wife. Why are u commenting as if by getting a 2nd wife your husband did some kind of sin which proved your parents right? It isn't a negative thing. One might even find waking up for fajr uncomfortable, doesn't make it wrong
@@dinero187 what? This is a rather extreme take. While we shouldn’t say there’s superiority of races over others or that a person can never marry a specific race or outside of their own race. Saying, race causes eugenics is an exaggeration. Some people have preferences, like some dudes like Asians, and some traditional families want a person within their culture. It’s not wrong to have this by itself, it’s only when you don’t allow the alternative that it becomes oppressive. Studies even show, that people have the capacity to discern the features of people within their culture more easily, whereas people from other cultures look the same to them. It’s why some people might say, all Asians look similar. Our eyes and brains adjust to the type of people we are around most. So to outright deny race is foolish. Sure we can show that in different places and times, black has meant something different and whatnot. And I know in sociology they push this race is a construct, gender is a construct stuff, but your race is a legit thing bro. If race was a construct, a white woman could say she’s black
Our beloved prophet Rasoollullah s.a.w has shown us 2 perfect models, of monogamy and polygamy. Monogamy in his youth until our beloved mother Khadeejah R.A. passed away, and polygamy later in life with all mothers who had been previously married apart from Hazrat Aisha R.A. A beautiful balance had been shown by our beloved Rasoollullah s.a.w to follow. Monogamy works better for some and polygamy for others. Allah guide us all
The problem however is, when people claim the prophet only practiced polygyny to help out the women, basically a completely altruistic marriage. And that’s not the reality. We all know that the prophet on some point almost divorced everyone of his wifes because the asked him too much in terms of leverage and sometimes avoided intimacy during daytime. And the prophet ﷺ himself said “From the Dunya women and parfume have been made beloved to me”. And he was intimate with his wifes. And he is as about to divorce his wife Sawda, may Allah be pleased with her. She was around the age of eighty. She said to the prophet that she will give her day to Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, and was content with only being married to the prophet ﷺ. The prophet was a human being and showed us how to behave as a Muslim. If he wouldn’t have these needs and desires human had, how could he be an example for us?! Men are polygamous by nature. If he loves his wife and desires her, it doesn’t mean he won’t desire other women. Men and women are completely different in desire towards the other gender and completely different in pair bonding. The issue is that many women, especially nowadays, assume men are just the way they are. And they shame men for being polygamous. They shame men for having desire and seeking marriage to a second wife because of desire. Even Muslim women. And they completely disregard that the prophet ﷺ practiced polygyny. And many of the companions practiced it as well. And it was common among the Salaf. And they had concubines from enslaved women of in war defeated disbelievers. And the great scholar Saeed bin Jubair has been asked by the companion Ibn Abbas once if he was married. Saeed replied that is still not married. And Ibn Abbas said to him:” So go and marry because the best amongst this nation are those with more women”. Of course a man has to be financially and mentally able to manage polygyny. But I think the reason why it is too hard for most men is that lifestyle has been centralized. The income is somehow limited and women ask for too much relatively speaking compared to the old times. And men have too less to do. And women are focusing too much on their husbands instead of doing useful things during the absence of the husband. It’s really a mess. I’ve seen it especially with women. They talk too much about their husbands.
@UCrCEszoQFzItmBFmBpyaz1w He didn’t marry his daughter in law. The so called daughter in law was the wife of a man he adopted when he was a child. Adoption had been mad impermissible in Islam. And the reason why he married her is to show that there’s not an issue with marrying the ex wife of the adopted son, because he is not the son. And it was common during that time to marry at a very young age. Even in Europe two hundred years ago. Just because you think it is wrong means it is actually wrong. And you lack the moral base to call it wrong.
Yah but today men marry more than one woman because of status,money and ego. It’s like when they have more money something clicks I CAN HAVE MORE, MORE WOMEN! It’s disgusting and a stain on our religion how men abuse this practice. It’s funny cuz the older men marry much younger attractive women. Not like the prophet who married , olde, barren, widowed women.
@@MAbuRowais women ask for to much? How about men try to work on themselves before blaming all their problems on the opposite gender. It’s so disgusting how men have lowered the bar in on what a man really is. Our fathers and grandfathers never practiced polygamy the way these guys are today. I’m glad the divorce rate is up because it makes sense when a marriage has a weak foundation it doesn’t last. If men are missing something in the marriage they should seek counseling and work with their spouse on the problem. Maybe fast more if your a hornball with dog mentality. Men marry to satisfy their own urges similar to homosexual ppl. It’s to satisfy that itch that comes with having more money, and maybe a midlife crisis. I would never support polygamy because I wouldn’t want it for myself. In todays society it doesn’t fit the bill. It’s a loophole. You will never be equal you will never be able to revise for all the Sam things and I’m not talking about materialism I’m talking about the simple things like attention, a smile a joke companionship that is exactly the same. And what about the kids ong talk about the example being made to the kids. Most kids that come from polygamy prefer monogamy because they witness how their moms sadness and loneliness. You need to be around your kids, marriage isn’t just for sex it’s for family. Once you have kids they should only be your focus. Not fkin around because you got more money, and switching out ladies basically making baby mamas as we call them in the states. Child support is real and thank god for the courts that protect the first spouse.
@@MAbuRowais brother, this had more to do with cultural and opportunity than genetics. There are tribes in the Amazon and in Africa that practice polyandry, live a communal life, and somehow pull it off. We studied this in first semester anthropology class. Yes, it is true that men in general are polygamous but that is based on their environment, not genetics
When they talked about betrayal they were talking in the case when he promised her (gave his word to her) that she would be the only one but he ended doing it behind her back. And the trauma it’s real because you ended up thinking your not enough for your husband so you start developing self esteem issues. The same would be if your beloved akhi promised something to you and ended up breaking his promise. This is what happens when the second marriage it’s not done with good intentions and consideration. I always enjoyed watching your videos about a lot of issues but this time I think you missed a great characteristic in our deen: empathy. May Allah guide us to the right path. Amen.
I agree. I don’t think these women were bashing the practice of polygamy. They were simply expressing how women might feel when deception is brought into this realm and that women truly experience emotional trauma and need professional help in some circumstances and sometimes the ummah fails to take the women’s side into account. What i see in this video is cherry picking speech to make these women look as feminist as possible. However, i do wish that honest tea talk had included someone who had experienced polygamy firsthand to even the viewpoint.
@@annamalinowski608 the ummah always fails to see womens side because its dominated by the males and male arrogance like these two. "No one suffers like the faithful muslim women" This quote is Truth. It better be worth it sister.
@@peaceofmind1582 yeah, does my head in to be honest. As soon as women get together in a safe space to talk about issues that concern us, we are branded as 'verging on kufr'. I think what they said about struggling with Allah's will is natural because not everything that is decreed is easy to swallow and that's completely fine to acknowledge and talk about in the open. We should be able to talk about genuine emotions without being branded as a feminist. Feel like it got to a level of dangerous judgment from our brothers here and a complete lack of empathy and understanding. Sorry for the rant 😭 video got to me haha. I think if we just approached eachother with a more respectful attitude willing to learn from each others qualms, the takeaway would be so much more beneficial than this 'brothers Vs sisters on polygamy'. Having said that I did agree with the brothers on some points, just the overall tone of Ali Dawah I cannot support. No subtlety for sure.
@@annamalinowski608 from a guy the issue let me highlight what I saw wrong with the honest tea talk ( respectfully) 1. They made an entire talk about something in Islam without 1 verse or hadith or even an incident from the time of the prophet saw or sahaba. hence we can conclude they are not coming from an Islamic view . their points it may be extreme to call them feminist but if Islam is not the foundation of such a discourse its quite problematic 2. they used a lot of harmful words in their discourse about a matter Allah allowed upon men 3. They gave their feelings but never talked about how a man should approach polygamy 4. They failed to look at the male perspective on similar matters as men have more responsibilities in the house and community but we can't dare tag it as "spiritual abuse" so same for this issue calling something Allah gave to men as spiritual abuse is "verging on kuffur" "empathy" is not a case here because it goes both ways I would say women should have more empathy for men not removing the difficulty of accepting polygamy but they are so many difficult tasks that men must engage in but we don't receive such empathy, do we? "safe space" should not be a place that has no foundation in Islam should be taken from. the brothers are right to call them out although their mannerisms may not be the best and lastly, had she given examples from the life of prophet saw or sahaba on how to handle it that would be the way to go but to just say she gets a divorce is insensitive and just bad advise as someone in a polygamous family if this happened I don't even know where I would be today
Here's the correct way to do polygyny: 1. Before getting married to your first wife tell her that you intend to practice polygyny. 2. When you are getting married to your other wives, let everyone know that you are getting married to another wife. Be open and do not lie and be deceitful. I don't know how a Muslim man can maintain another marraige whilst LYING to his wives about where he is, where his finances are going etc. Hiding other marriages encourages these men to lie which is haram in Islam. 3. Be fair to all of your wives and treat them equally. If a woman says before marriage that she doesn't want to participate in polygyny and you force that on her that is wrong. She has the right to end the marriage because it causes psychological distress. Not every woman can handle it.
1. why should he tell her before when she could just expect all men to be polygamous, and just accept that it might happen. 2. a man dont need to tell his wife that he married another wife, if he wishes to do so, thats on him, but its not obligatory. 3. agree.
@@vortexlight8387 it is crazy how men think that they can keep it a secret forever. Let me give you an example. If the wives have children the man will have to introduce his kids to each other at some point. Isn't it worse for the wives to find out at that point rather than just being honest from the beginning. Another example is finances. A wife will know how much her husband makes. When it comes to spending she will see that some money is going elsewhere. You can't hide that. There are so many other examples I can give you. All of this will cause friction between them and will eventually lead to the marriage breaking down. Always best to be honest from day 1. No one is saying that having multiple wives is haram
@@Sarah-pq9dm firstly, it dsnt have be "lying" or "secretive" he can just never mention it. If a women is jelous on her man, its kufr so why would she break the marrige down for something he has a right in? Its like saying "if a husband finds out that his wife dsnt work and bring money, he might divorce her" why would he divorce her when its her right not to work and bring money in.
@@vortexlight8387 no you can't compare a woman getting a job to a man getting married in secret. And yes it is lying because when he is courting these other women and meeting up with their families to ask for their hands in marraige, having multiple weddings behind your wife's back? How is that not lying? What is he going to say when he's been gone for a couple of days or comes home late? He will have to lie. Lying is never good. Just get a wife that doesn't mind practicing polygyny bro
perhaps we should also talk about what constitutes just treatment to all spouses in polygamy. educate muslim men on what are the terms which are laid out in the quran and sunnah. also some interviews with muslim men who are successful in his polygamous marriage and what it actually takes to be in one. in today's context, it may not be as straight forward
Too Muslim marriages have become like the shia practice with no real efforts made to solve problems before pronouncing talaq. This is happening a lot. Too many women are living in fear of talaq and poverty and just put up with abuse. This is the other side that has no real remedy or solution because it is constantly dismissed and blamed on the women. There are thousands of such stories. This is why it's important for daughters to have a good education in this life and strong Islamic knowledge of their rights to their own wealth and inheritance.
thats clearly not the issue here genius. ugh it breaks my heart when even men start speaking with female logic (void of it). focus on the topic dont be a school boy.
Also I believe almost all men cannot treat all wives equally... it's extremely difficult to do this especially knowing how sensitive women can be. You need to be highly emotionally intelligent to deal with multiple wives and treat them equally and unfortunately the large majority of men lack this🤷♀
And who said women should be treated equally? That doesn't mean everyone wont be treated fairly. If one of my wife goes to gym and want me to go with her, should i insist that the second wife should come along just so it can be equal? Polygamy is a different system of marriage, don't bring equality into it.
@@jeffreyagu2221 Not sure if you're Muslim but according to Islam and the Quran, a man can only marry up to four wives if he can treat all of his wives equally or provides equal treatment. For this reason, I will still continue to talk about equality whether you like it or not. ''If one of my wife goes to gym and want me to go with her, should i insist that the second wife should come along just so it can be equal? '' No, it doesn't mean you also need to bring your second wife to the gym (especially if she doesn't enjoy working out) but you should know how to spend quality of time with each wife equally. What's most important is providing equal attention, affection, love, care, respect, time, support and commitment.
@@jeffreyagu2221 this is a no brainer question. If the 2nd wife doesn’t like the gym but likes tennis instead and wants you to join her another day, then just do that. 1st wife likes gym and you go with her. Simple. Assuming 1st wife also agreed that you can re-marry, I am pretty sure the discussion on how you would handle spending time with your second time will also be brought up. Having multiple wives is a large responsibility and everything should be discussed beforehand until you’re both sure enough to proceed with it. No brainer, literally.
@@zraj3433 That's Completely wrong, it doesn't say you have to treat then fairly or with justice, it says "if you FEAR" then marry only one, the quran then goes on to say that you can never treat wives equally even if you had the best intention, almost as a reply to those men that fear of causing injustice or not being fair.
Brothers, she was talking about having option to not stay in polygamy and that there should not be any pressure for them to stay in a situation which is too difficult for them- and that a person should not use the ‘god card’ as in force her to stay in or judge her for wanting to leave- do you not get that? No one says it is wrong- but not for anyone- you are looking at it as roborts
A lot of sisters have either witnessed or heard about how brothers have abused polygamy and left their wives feeling horrible. Brothers are quick to justify and defend instead of listening and understanding where the sisters are coming from. It's been normalized for brothers to have second wives when their first wife is already struggling in the marriage. Polygamy is halal and can be beautiful when it's done in the right way. Spiritual abuse is a real thing in the Muslim community and something that has to be discussed more.
Do you have studies that nowadays it's been normalised to marry a second wife when their first wife is struggling? And struggling with what? What is the struggle that a woman can get by her husband having another wife?
@@Odignridk struggling with the finance, struggling with the kids, struggling with mental health, struggling with balancing the work life and home life. I don't need to have a studie, I can see it in my environment. Like I mentioned previously, by you being defensive and combative shows that there is something underlying. This is not a character trait of a Muslim man, ignoring the struggles of sisters. You do know that there are people who have been treated poorly in polygamy? This is not an unusual thing, you need to be more open minded and look around.
@@khaliifr3696 Treating both wives fairly and giving both wives their rights. Not neglecting either of the houses and making sure that both families are in a safe environment. Is this so hard to obtain?
I have never heard a case where the children blamed their mother for divorcing their father because their father decided on his own to bring in another wife into the picture without their mother's consent. Even if there was such a case it is not the norm among children that come from divorced families
This is just my opinion and other Muslim sisters might have other suggestions: 1. If you are a man that WANTS to or ENVISIONS to practice polygamy in the future, HAVE THAT CONVERSATION WITH THE WOMAN YOU INTEND TO MARRY BEFORE MARRYING HER. If she is agreeable to such a lifestyle, she can go ahead and marry you knowing there is a possibility that she may have to experience this. 2. Say you are already married and you DIDNT discuss the above with your current wife before marrying her but NOW you want to marry again. The most decent thing to do is to HAVE a conversation with her about it and say that is your intention. Expect that this will rock her world as it’s just sprung on her. Know that this is a major lifestyle decision for her and so you should know this will not go over easily with her. Tell her that you will give her some time to think about it and how she feels about going into a cowhide situation. Either she will have a hard time accepting it but will actually accept it, or she will say she needs a divorce because she can’t do that. If she wants a divorce, make the process as easy for you both as possible. If kids are involved then explain to her that you plan to do your part to support your children in their growth and that you wish to be an active and positive part of the children’s lives as having a good father is important for the children. 3. If you didn’t do 1 or 2 above and you gave gone ahead and married without informing your wife, that is very shameful. There is no secret marriage in Islam! Also, in any transaction, you have to be honest in your dealings. If you fear that you will lose your first wife hence you secretly marry a second wife, that’s like selling a good to a customer knowing it’s defective but without telling them of the defect. If you need to share your self with another human being now outside of your wife, the math isn’t adding up to say you will give her 100%. At best when you are going to be able to provide is 100% of 50%. So you have to be clear with her that you are not able to provide more than 50% from now on as you need to provide another wife the other 50% and that goes does to 25% per wife/family if a man is married to 4 wives. So please do not justify ‘secret’ marriage as a valid marriage. It’s not!
Salam sister, Firstly, they did not say it was “a crime” to get therapy. They stated that it is not ideal to get advice from a non-Islamic source when Islam has all the answers. Secondly, they did not “attack” the sisters for their feelings or emotions about the matter, but they directed their focus on the sister’s lack of application Islamic rulings in their scenario and their disregard and dissatisfaction with the Islamic solutions provided.
Thirdly, their Islamic knowledge is not required to be updated. The Islamic rulings mentioned in the Quran and Hadith are applied by these brothers but disregarded by the sisters in the video.
They did not make this video to attack the sisters, they only made it to point out the severe mistakes the sisters mentioned, that could be detrimental to the lives of their Muslim audience.
Lastly, the comment involving “moving on to another model” is their impersonation of Donald trump and does not reflect their personal views. I highly recommend you watch the entire video before commenting. Thank you very much.
The counter to this argument is that, some people are open to polygamous relationships than others. In modern times, communication is important. No one, man or woman should be forced to stay with someone that wants to lead a polygamous lifestyle in times where polygamy doesn't involve "helping another struggling woman and her children" but rather a pursuit of one's own "nature". The sisters might be painting things in a negative light, but I believe they are talking about very specific instances where the women that never wanted to be in a polygynous relationship, end up being forced into one without them knowing or them having a choice out of the relationship. There is emotional manipulation going on there by the man and that's something that needs to be addressed, because lets be honest, not everyone that practices polygamy cares about the feeling of others.
1. “Some people are open to polygamous relationships than others”. No women really wants his husband to get married. Some women just obey the command of Allah SWT, which is that it is a right of a man to get married more than once. 2. Your point about no one should stay in polygamous marriage, only if the second wife has an disadvantage in life is not correct. She doesn’t have to be widow, can’t get pregnant, divorcee, she can just be a normal girl. Also, it’s not a grounds for divorce if you have a second wife. Im not saying this. Ask your local imam who has probably studied 10+ years. At the end of the day women have to accept it.
@@Faithfulresonance1 Your Point 1 is ironic because most men seem to not want to get married and most women do. This is the first time I've ever heard of this point be used when talking about the nature of people wanting to be polygamous or monogamous. IF you can accept that people are born with their sexuality and don't just choose to one day become gay, then you can accept that some are monogamous by nature. As for point 2, I have to reiterate, in MODERN times, polygyny is done mainly for personal desires, either of the man's or his would-be wives. The 1st wife is not always involved in this decision making or even has a choice and that's a moral problem. So for you to say "women have to accept it", is strange because women can easily turn around and "support" multiple guys through marriage and it would be just as fair for men to have to "accept it". Guys that respond this way are just using religion as an excuse to emotionally manipulate women and fulfill their own desires; and the women in such situations should have every right to stand their ground and take action (if that means divorce, so be it). For an easier example, we can use the hypothetical given in this exact video; just because a woman can sleep with another man who is not her husband and the husband can't take any action, doesn't mean it makes it any less morally wrong. Similarly, just because a man can force polygyny on his wife without her consent and not face any retribution, doesn't mean that it isn't any less morally wrong either. Get the picture?
Thank you for making this video! I am a sister and my husband married again Alhamdulillah. Of course it was difficult emotionally - what made it WORSE though is other sisters asking me if I have “considered divorce” when I told them I was struggling emotionally. I may have been upset (naturally) but who said I wanted a divorce? What a dangerous statement to make to a sister who is feeling low. My husband and I are now closer than ever by the way and just had another child Alhamdulillah may Allah protect us. I am so glad I ignored the sisters’ comments.
To add to my comment: of course it feels heartbreaking and I acknowledge this but what would be useful from sisters is advice on how to deal with emotions and STAY in the marriage after your husband breaks the news.
@@selfdevelopmentseeker5718 how are other women meant to advise you if they themselves wouldn't make the decision you've made? They only tried to provide what they saw as a solution because maybe that's what they'd do. Not sure why your husband breaks your heart and other women are expected to pick up the pieces.
18:30: "Defend the rights of 2nd, 3rd and 4th wife who in non-muslim or muslims who do it the wrong way and have side chicks/gf etc. Allah stipulated if a man wants to go and do THAT, he does it in the right way by honoring her." And that's where you lose the reasoning behind why polygamy was allowed. It was to avoid mistreatment of orphan, servant girls by putting her at the same level as his wife. You've twisted the reasoning to be that its simply because men are lustful and they need to satiate their lust, completely disregarding the conditions necessary. This here is why women have indeed suffered the treatment of men in the past.
Someone please correct me if im wrong but isn't polygamy not allowed unless you meet certain criteria like being just, etc which needs to be expanded on exactly what being just means? If a wife of a husband is feeling disheartened by the idea of another wife how can the husband ignore this and get another wife while knowing his wifes love may be affected? How can he then be just? He obviously may prefer one over the other. As a brother, I don't think these brothers have spoken about the topic in a fair way. What im seeing from this video and from videos in the past is completely disregarding the feelings of the woman. How is this just? When Allah said one of the criteria is being just? And if you cant be then marry only one. I can go on I think this is an area these brothers are lacking in showing sympathy and understanding of woman feelings because polygamy is allowed however disregarding there is actually criteria we as men have to meet otherwise Allah has said marry only one. So my question to Hijab and Ali is why arent they talking about this? About the criteria mentioned from Allah? About when its not allowed bc the man cant meet the criteria? As if we can just decide to marry 4 from our own whims without any standards set by Allah, bc Allah allows so. This is like the topic of being allowed to eat pork on very strict exceptions. Not just when you feel like it. Isnt the ruling on polygamy the same not just bc there is a rule that allows it but a standard Allah has set that a man must meet, and when its not problems can happen like in this video. Im not happy with these brothers because you claim to at the start of the video to wanting to respond sincerely and in a caring manner however all I saw is undermining there feelings as if its not valid, bc u don't like it, constantly trying to refute their points, I understand its needed but lacking fairness to the woman like Allah has said then marry only one.... So wheres the fairness to these woman who may have been in a situation where the conditions set by Allah haven't been met by the man, why the disregard, why the hardline, unsympatheical I'm going to refute everything approach when clearly from what I understand things can go wrong so why dismiss there feelings? I can keep going on ill end there. Just confused on this topic. I think there is a lack of understanding on polygamy even the life of prohet Muhammad SAW, he didn't decide to marry multiple wives because Allah allows so they were all for specific reasons otherwise from my understanding he wouldn't of. Again correct me if I'm wrong but overall a good video just feel this topic hasn't been spoken about well at all and this video is another one for me.
@@hazimhashim235 I made many points in my comments. They didn't address what is just well they gave an analogy that from what I understood is just trying to justify doing something that Allah has allowed even if it causes someone a pain point however Allah has clearly given criteria that MUST be followed in order for it to be acceptable. In his marriage analogy Allah has given permission for the person wanting to get married to chose who they want to get married to also under some criteria for both men and woman for who they should be marrying. The pain point part is something the mother has to allow because it is UNJUST for a parent to not allow there daughter or son to not marry someone bc they dont like them or whatever the reason is if it's not a legitimate reason that Quran and Sunnah dictates then the parent should let it happen even if he she doesn't like it. This is a poor analogy because someone marrying and living with there partner/s is different to a mother father accepting who there son/daughter wants to marry i.e different dynamic. Point is a woman in a relationship should have a say and also Allah has given specifc criteria for polygamy which the brothers did not mention or discuss. They incorrectly stated Islam allows this form of marriage however this is inaccurate to what Quran states from what I know, Quran says you can marry more than one under specific criteria that men must meet otherwise you can only marry one (paraphrasing), this was not mentioned and therefore them saying Islam simply allows it is incorrect. Hope that clarifies.
Being just is not about the emotions of the heart , Its well known who the Prophet Mohammad Loved most out of his wives it was Aisha RA , n she also knew the love he had for Khadijah RA. Just is on the actions of the man I.e. Time spent with the women so providing equal nights ( a woman can stipulate less time) , providing for them etc. He can not give one wife a certain lvl of living standards and than neglate his other wife living standard when she has not agreed to such conditions in her nikkah contract, that is the meaning of not being just .
As a woman I never against polygamy as it is not a sinful act, we are living in a society where bf/gfs are accepted but polygamy is like committing a crime. We have to remember our life is a test that’s it. Regardless of polygamy it is the man who has to be just towards his wives. Edit: I think people here missed the point when I wrote life is a TEST. Perhaps polygamy will be a test for some.Hence, we all will be tested in one way or another.
Yes but Allah recommends marrying one woman. Thus men should not go after things that might break their first marriage as divorce is the only halal act that Allah does not like.
1. In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful. 2. Praise be to God, Lord of the Worlds. 2. God, there is no god but He, the Living, the Eternal. To Him belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. He is the Sublime, the Magnificent. Originator of the heavens and the earth. He made for you mates from among yourselves, and pairs of animals, by means of which He multiplies you. There is nothing like Him. He is the Hearing, the Seeing. 3. He sent down to you the Book with the Truth, confirming what came before it; and He sent down the Torah and the Gospel. 4. Aforetime, as guidance for mankind; and He sent down the Criterion. Those who have rejected God’s signs will have a severe punishment. God is Mighty, Able to take revenge. 5. Nothing is hidden from God, on earth or in the heaven. 6. It is He who forms you in the wombs as He wills. There is no god except He, the Almighty, the Wise. 16. And mention in the Scripture Mary, when she withdrew from her people to an eastern location. 17. She screened herself away from them, and We sent to her Our spirit, and He appeared to her as an immaculate human. 18. She said, “I take refuge from you in the Most Merciful, should you be righteous.” 19. He said, “I am only the messenger of your Lord, to give you the gift of a pure son.” 20. She said, “How can I have a son, when no man has touched me, and I was never unchaste?” 21. He said, “Thus said your Lord, `It is easy for Me, and We will make him a sign for humanity, and a mercy from Us. It is a matter already decided.'“ 22. So she carried him, and secluded herself with him in a remote place. 23. The labor-pains came upon her, by the trunk of a palm-tree. She said, “I wish I had died before this, and been completely forgotten.” 24. Whereupon he called her from beneath her: “Do not worry; your Lord has placed a stream beneath you. 25. And shake the trunk of the palm-tree towards you, and it will drop ripe dates by you.” 26. “So eat, and drink, and be consoled. And if you see any human, say, ‘I have vowed a fast to the Most Gracious, so I will not speak to any human today.'“ 27. Then she came to her people, carrying him. They said, “O Mary, you have done something terrible. 28. O sister of Aaron, your father was not an evil man, and your mother was not a whore.” 29. So she pointed to him. They said, “How can we speak to an infant in the crib?” 30. He said, “I am the servant of God. He has given me the Scripture, and made me a prophet. 31. And has made me blessed wherever I may be; and has enjoined on me prayer and charity, so long as I live. 32. And kind to my mother, and He did not make me a disobedient rebel. 33. So Peace is upon me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the Day I get resurrected alive.” 34. That is Jesus son of Mary-the Word of truth about which they doubt. 35. It is not for God to have a child-glory be to Him. To have anything done, He says to it, “Be,” and it becomes. 36. “God is my Lord and your Lord, so worship Him. That is a straight path.” 37. But the various factions differed among themselves. So woe to those who disbelieve from the scene of a tremendous Day. 38. Listen to them and watch for them the Day they come to Us. But the wrongdoers today are completely lost. 39. And warn them of the Day of Regret, when the matter will be concluded. Yet they are heedless, and they do not believe. 40. It is We who will inherit the earth and everyone on it, and to Us they will be returned. 41. And mention in the Scripture Abraham. He was a man of truth, a prophet. 42. He said to his father, “O my father, why do you worship what can neither hear, nor see, nor benefit you in any way? 43. O my father, there has come to me knowledge that never came to you. So follow me, and I will guide you along a straight way. 44. O my father, do not worship the devil. The devil is disobedient to the Most Gracious. 45. O my father, I fear that a punishment from the Most Gracious will afflict you, and you become an ally of the devil.” 46. He said, “Are you renouncing my gods, O Abraham? If you do not desist, I will stone you. So leave me alone for a while.” 47. He said, “Peace be upon you. I will ask my Lord to forgive you; He has been Kind to me. 48. And I will withdraw from you, and from what you pray to instead of God. And I will pray to my Lord, and I hope I will not be disappointed in my prayer to my Lord.” 49. When he withdrew from them, and from what they worship besides God, We granted him Isaac and Jacob. And each We made a prophet. 50. And We gave them freely of Our mercy, and gave them a noble reputation of truth. 51. And mention in the Scripture Moses. He was dedicated. He was a messenger and a prophet. 52. And We called him from the right side of the Mount, and brought him near in communion. 53. And We granted him, out of Our mercy, his brother Aaron, a prophet. 54. And mention in the Scripture Ishmael. He was true to his promise, and was a messenger, a prophet. 55. And he used to enjoin on his people prayer and charity, and he was pleasing to his Lord. 56. And mention in the Scripture Enoch. He was a man of truth, a prophet. 57. And We raised him to a high position. 58. These are some of the prophets God has blessed, from the descendants of Adam, and from those We carried with Noah, and from the descendants of Abraham and Israel, and from those We guided and selected. Whenever the revelations of the Most Gracious are recited to them, they would fall down, prostrating and weeping. 59. But they were succeeded by generations who lost the prayers and followed their appetites. They will meet perdition. 60. Except for those who repent, and believe, and act righteously. These will enter Paradise, and will not be wronged in the least. 61. The Gardens of Eden, promised by the Most Merciful to His servants in the Unseen. His promise will certainly come true. 62. They will hear no nonsense therein, but only peace. And they will have their provision therein, morning and evening. 63. Such is Paradise which We will give as inheritance to those of Our servants who are devout. 64. “We do not descend except by the command of your Lord. His is what is before us, and what is behind us, and what is between them. Your Lord is never forgetful.” 65. Lord of the heavens and the earth and what is between them. So worship Him, and persevere in His service. Do you know of anyone equal to Him? 66. And the human being says, “When I am dead, will I be brought back alive?” 67. Does the human being not remember that We created him before, when he was nothing? 68. By your Lord, We will round them up, and the devils, then We will bring them around Hell, on their knees. 69. Then, out of every sect, We will snatch those most defiant to the Most Merciful. 70. We are fully aware of those most deserving to scorch in it. 71. There is not one of you but will go down to it. This has been an unavoidable decree of your Lord. 72. Then We will rescue those who were devout, and leave the wrongdoers in it, on their knees. 73. When Our clear revelations are recited to them, those who disbelieve say to those who believe, “Which of the two parties is better in position, and superior in influence?” 74. How many a generation have We destroyed before them, who surpassed them in riches and splendor? 75. Say, “Whoever is in error, the Most Merciful will lead him on.” Until, when they see what they were promised-either the punishment, or the Hour. Then they will know who was in worse position and weaker in forces. 76. God increases in guidance those who accept guidance. And the things that endure-the righteous deeds-have the best reward with your Lord, and the best outcome. Read The Quran. Please send it to all christian
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
You should take this video down and apologise to the sisters you’re addressing. You’re emotionally and animatedly criticising them, unfairly throwing labels around and most importantly taking to them in a way you would not like your own female relatives to be spoken to. It’s sad to even have to use this analogy because it should be clear to a Muslim that we should address each other with humility and softness, assume the best in each other, and speak in a dignified manner. The analogy in the Quran about the braying of donkeys should always be remembered. Especially considering there is a cultural struggle of ideas going on, those truly calling to good need to have impeccable adab. Ask yourself are you aiming for that standard? Why should any sister listen to you after you’ve given them the harshest verbal dressing down even a teenager would find excessive? Especially considering they’re strangers who haven’t done anything to you. And even if they had! Once again brothers I advise you to take this video down and send an apology to the young women in the video. Salaama alaykum
No. You are a man you do not know how women feel when your partner suddenly wants a second wife. Imagine your wife wanting a second husband. And Islam was the first religion to ever give rights to women and invented feminism
@@waleedasad7072 they do. they act as if women having to accept polygamy or wearing a hijab or long sleeves should be something joyful it is not. it is a test. and tests are always hard. wo do it for the love to their god not for men. because unlike what you think wo would like to have two men too just like they would love to walk outside without a hijab and long sleeves. but these are the tests they gotten and that they have to overcome to get into heaven. but if you men do not stop acting as if it is not hard and wo shouldn't complain you will lose your wo
@@waleedasad7072 ofcourse there is a way god even gave women a way it is called divorce. you know the right that men convenietly do not tell a wo she has. or the other one is by putting it in the contract when they get married also something men convenietly do not tell wo about. so no she doesn't ahve to take it because even god know some tests are to hard for his creations.
I have seen the original video and I agree/and understand with everything they said, y’all talking from an inexperienced point of view and from a mans point of view, it hurts me so much that many of you (in the comments and vid) can be so heartless. Y’all didn’t understand anything. Many of these comments/ what y’all are saying it’s utterly disgusting and sad, y’all haven’t even talked from everyone’s point of view just yours, personally me I was in a family where polygamy was practised wrong, and it left a mark on me as a young child
I seen the sisters video, there wasn't a single ayah or hadith, the sisters video was based on life experience , my friend went through polygamy she found it difficult, so there for every polygamy must be this way, there wasn't one good thing they said about polygamy, the sisters need to open the history of Islam and they'll clearly see almost every successful man like the prophets, sahaba's had one more then one wife, this is a new thing in the West that they are telling us its one man and one woman, while its one man with up to 4 wives, I would personally tell most brothers to only have one wife because most man Cant afford to have more then one wife but then again most of the successful men in Islam were financially broke but still managed
@@hamid6790 you are gaslighting other peoples experience.. your comment is actually a lack of empathy, yes polygamy is already a struggle for most women, and it’s talked about in Hadiths, but these women are talking about when polygamy is done wrong, if sisters already find polygamy a little bit hard…. that doesn’t give the excuse for many men out there to do it wrong, that sentence is giving the mentality of “so what sisters will find it difficult regardless I might as well do it wrong/my own way”. and it’s based on life experience because they are talking about different life experiences/point of views… that’s kinda what their channel is based on talking about struggles/things the community don’t talk about often (and it should be talked about), they are talking about how polygamy has an effect on women when done wrong, they are talking about struggles that’s kinda main topic of their channel (struggles) that is overlooked in the community. “you said therefore every polygamy should be this way”, and I disagree, yes polygamy came from Allah, (👉With the intention to protect women👈). 1. There is no obligation for the women to accept when she finds herself in this situation, in fact there is a Hadith where a woman came to the prophet because her husband had married second, and she couldn’t (handle it) so she went to the prophet. And told him what’s the matter the prophet said would you be able to give him back mehr she said yes, and the divorce was finalised, so every polygamy shouldn’t be this way when you are struggling/it has an effect on you and there is a way out, 2. These sisters are talking about when polygamy is done wrong, not when it’s right. So if polygamy is done wrong then no it shouldn’t be that way. polygamy is not for everyone it takes a lot, these things should be discussed before wedding. And most men back in the day managed it, because they had the means to keep it balanced financially/supportive. Etc, it was a different time back then in how things were/and how it worked, polygamy is not something lightly, it comes with restrictions /rules/ obligations and it’s not something that should be approached lightly. I have seen most people in this comment section and the video complaining that the sisters didn’t say something nice about polygamy…. the sisters are talking about the sides of things (struggles) that’s the main topic of their channel, sorry to say but I think y’all are just looking for something to be mad about, but anyways May You have A blessed day brother Good night/or evening,morning
@@ninass8119 I would love for the sisters to make a video on how polygamy done the right way instead of talking about life experience or emotions strongly disagree when you wrote polygamy is to only help women , it's meant to help men too. can you send me that full hadith so i can do a bit of research on that but either way I could easily send you 20 hadith on how polygamy benefits everyone. You do realise if a woman showed up to a mosque and said i want a divorce because my husband got another wife isn't any grounds on getting a divorce.
@@hamid6790 I didn't say nothing wrong, and Where are those hadiths?. if you look up the history of polygamy, polygamy has always existed in the history of human civilization, and women back then didn't have rights/ their rights were abused. men married more than 4 and so on, but then Islam made restrictions for it... to protect women, that's the fact (it was revealed to protect women). Though I agree that Polygamy is allowed, (but not mandatory), and it is a solution and measure for certain situations that may arise from time to time. At the same time I can't ignore that this rule was revealed to protect women (everyone knows that) it is evident from a study of the Holy Quran that a special situation of a post war period is being discussed during that verse in the Holy Quran. It is a time when there were large number of orphans and widows. It wasn't designed to satisfy the male sexual appetite and lust, nor was it designed to prove that males are polygamous creatures, but it was intended to correct the injustices done to widows, orphans, and other female dependants, The verse was revealed after the battle of Uhud in which several men died and there were a large number of widows/orphans, all this you can gain the knowledge of, if you search the history of it. You can also take the example of the Prophet All his wives were widows/divorcees except one Aisha Ra. And going to a mosque saying you want a divorce because the husband took another wife and you can't handle it, is a reason for a divorce/Khula because as I said before there was a women who went to the prophet because of this reason and she got her divorce the hadith is in Sahih al-Bukhari 5273. Plus about the sisters, it's their channel and they made it about struggles, why don't Mohammed hijab or Ali make one instead of calling sisters names/misunderstanding them just because they decided to voice out struggles that occurs within the community. It would have been really good for them to talk about the beauty of polygamy or at least try to understand instead of completely gaslighting the experience and emotions of others. it's pretty early here...good night
@@hamid6790 true, but hating your husband because he has taken a second wife and not feeling able to give him his rights is a valid reason, so its just semantics but the divorce would be given for the same reason he remarried,
I'm happy that you have such confidence in youre Islamic analysis of your brother's, but alhamdullilah Allah in his all-knowing Nature is the one to judge that.
I mostly agree with the brothers here, but I think there's a simple way out of all this. If you are a Muslim woman and you don't want your husband to practise Polygamy then fine, just add it as a condition in your marriage contract. This means he should never break his promise.
This is a permissible stipulation in Shari'ah as well. So yes, it is a solution for a woman who knows she is absolutely too jealous or knows she just simply doesn't want to ever share her husband.
@@MK-sl5qc This is the problem.. divorce is not a simple matter is not like changing cloths!! The ultimate goal of marriage is to build a family a safe haven for the children and the parents.. chop chop attitude is certainly far from this!!
you cant forbid that which allah has granted, it cant be a islamic contract while nullifying islamic rulings within the contract. this is like saying lets write a contract with a clause that we dont have to abide by the law that gives this contract legitimacy.
@@customerservice2704 No. This is like saying we get married on the basis that we don't relocate.. etc. Polygamy is not Sunnah, you don't become a better Muslim through Polygamy.
@@mindfulstoic3095 Well for starters, these brothers are male (which automatically comes with its own privileges) but on top of that, they live very comfortable lives as popular social media personalities and therefore lack the required empathy to discuss a topic that has been the cause of unthinkable suffering and grief for some women. However, may Allah Almighty guide & assist Mohammed and Ali in their overall efforts, ameen. They generally do a good job.
@@richardpreece5384 Oh god, i should have abstained from asking, i was hoping for an elaborate answer, i wasn't prepared for this.... They are overly privileged because they are males ? As a starter ? You should have left this one last akhi haha I stopped reading at this non sense. Being a male isn't a privilege (nor being a female), let alone an OVER-privilege. I can't argue with this new age nonsensicle WOKE rhetoric that seems to be hijacking our oumma as well, we're up for a bad start already. May allah guide us all.
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny. They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother. They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points. & the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns. The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
ali da’wa really shouldn’t be commenting about stuff like this and constantly voicing his opinions as he doesn’t actually have any formal background in Islamic studies and its sciences. he rants too much and gets emotional really quickly.
Ran out of videos to react to? To dig up an old video of your fellow Muslim sisters to completely misinterpret what they’ve said and mock them for shedding a light on a reality that exists for many Muslim women At least could’ve had an open discussion with them instead of gaslighting Muslim women for having basic emotion and wanting to speak up about it. You forget that burying an existing problem will always come up back and worse so better address it now you have respectful debates and discussions with JP and many other non-muslims that do not deserve the exposure and platform but cannot even do that with your fellow muslim sisters that you disagree with. Not mentioning the way you completely misunderstood what they were saying. Check their video description next time before you decide to make a problem out of nothing
Wallahi I cannot believe the words coming out of her mouth. "Islamically says so but morally" There is no but, there is no morality outside Islam.She is literally throwing Islam out the window and making her own morality. May Allah guide us.
Also kinda weird how they’re so focussed on the Somali girl more than the others, when the Arab has made similar comments throughout the video.These guys give a lil racist vibes ngl.
The problem is with men who want enter into polygamous marriages, and they don't even pray their 5 daily Salaah. If you are not going to fulfill the rights of Allah, how can we expect you to fulfill the rights of multiple wives. Polygamy is not easy, men have to be completely equal in their dealings with their wives, and Allah SWT has said that if you can not be equal then just marry one. It is hard enough to maintain a relationship with one wife, nevermind multiple wives. There is a lack of God fearing muslim men in the 21st century, and there are countless examples of men entering into second and third marriages without fulfilling the rights of the wives correctly.
@@rikudotenin9773 it's a similar thing among the disbeleivers, the women moan about men this and men that, yet they pick the dodgy men repeatedly and and then whine about men being bad meanwhile they've probably rejected a dozen prospects cuse theyre not tall or rich enough, or amongst muslim women, they're TOoo practicing AND not tall or rich enough lolll.
Br Mohammed’s videos are honestly so wholesome to watch. It has the exact factors needed for the younger generation to benefit as well as the general public to learn about Islamic teachings. Never stop doing these videos brother. Jazakallah khair!!
Muslim is a religion of bad ideas. This guy can't even have an entire conversation without interrupting whenever his belief and ideas are being challenged. I've watched some of his interviews, and every single one of them keeps interrupting.
@@sojernon8689 Deuteronomy 21:15 New International Version (NIV) The Right of the Firstborn 15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,
@@sojernon8689 ~*600 not 500. hmm i invite you to read and study Quran. i recommend you to start with surah nisa "chapter 'women' " :) May Almighty Allah allow u and me and everyone in the list of those people whom he loves and protect us from being unjust to ourselves and may Allah show u and give u strength to accept the right path and message
Assalamu Alaikum, I can't believe this brothers! You still haven't addressed the points. I support the sisters as they're plain honest and we need a safe space to just talk. Sisters were addressing real issues. They're not denying the polygamy front but does it make sense in this day and age? It's the dynamic of emotional damage. Women and men are already facing issues with marriage let alone polygamy. This is the first video of yours which has really upset me! Why is it ok for women to be victims? What about the guy who does things behind their wife's back? Then women are meant to accept it when they haven't even given consent. I'm not denying Islam or Allah's way at all but it doesn't make sense how guys play the advantage card. If you want pure facts, base your debate on the rate of women's depression increasing. It also surprises me why you're addressing this video after such a long time. Please brothers of Islam humble yourself and check what you're saying. Ali Dawah you have no right to say shut up it's disrespectful! I have a lot of respect for men but this is shocking!
What nonsense. Men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than women - you ever think that men are depressed because modern society is preventing them from having multiple wives, as is natural to them?
"Does it make sense in this day and age?" What a pathetic statement. Subhan Allah.. YES IT DOES. ALLAHS WILL AND LAW MAKES SENSE IN ALL POSSIBLE DIMENSIONS, AT ALL TIMES! No one cares about your emotional baggage when its contradicitng Allah SWT and His will. Deal with it and grow up..
Ur comment reeks of femcentrism as u talk about how the women would feel and how the guy could take advantage of the girl .u don't talk about how the responsibility could be too much for the guy and contribute to the suicide rates we see in men today but instead you talk about women getting taken advantage of and women's depression .IAM not saying u deny that men suffer in these marriages but why do you think a guy today of all times will take advantage of her .if anything it's the women of today who take advantage of guys the most so if anything polygamy will make the life of the guy miserable too but no you wanna talk about how women would feel taken advantage of.femcentrism at its peak.
@@Xenor999 sir you are very much gaslighting women’s experiences. If women are being taken advantage or dealing with depression or not honored in their marriages then it is the responsibility of the men who do honor them to speak up. You are so comfortable to shush women to stay quite and not speak because it’s beneficial for men. Men have put themselves above women, men have put their experiences above women and men have silenced women’s experiences because they gain more by invalidating the real issues that remain ignored and unresolved. A true man knows how to honor, love, support and validate a woman’s experience. Men who puts women beneath them for their own gain are nothing short of BOYS. And the sad reality is in many cultures including my own, that is accepted. But women are growing tired of being ignored and constantly put in a disadvantageous position. Women will learn to speak up in your culture, and the more you press on them the more they will fight for what they rightfully should have. Such as being honored in their families and in their marriages. Women adapt at different paces in different cultures. The women in your culture will not tolerate the disrespect and pain that men cause them forever.
I applaud you brothers, ma sha Allah, the reasons you listed is why both my WIVES and I responded to this very video a few months ago. Extremely problematic. JazakAllahu khayr for setting the record straight.
@@MeteorBoy23 so people know that our reaction video has with women who actually are familiar with polygyny first hand. It's one thing to have only men react or only women not involved in polygyny but another when you actually hear from women who are and theyre reacting in my opinion.
Brother and sisters both tend to be very extreme on this issue, for the brothers... The Sahabah most times re-married to protect the sisters in the community whos husbands became shaheed, or were no longer there for whatever reason. They re-married so that those single mothers/sisters would not be left alone in society, and were not left without provision. The Sahabah protected the women in society through marriage and polygamy, and then took care of their responsibities. Meanwhile we struggle with taking care of our own obligation and responsibilities just between us and Allah, let alone with one wife and kids, let alone with multiple families. May Allah make it easy for us to love the way of Allah and his Prophet, follow the Sunnah and love the Sunnah, and help us to align and force our nafs to love the way of Allah and his Rasool OVER our our souls and our own desires. May Allah help us to be just with the people in our lives, the women in our lives, and the community at large.
@@fifiadan just because something is desired does not mean it should be satisfied. Inhibiting our carnal desires is part of what it means to live in a healthy, modern society.
@@looveeyouu5384 Clearly is. Across all societies ever men have desired multiple women and frivolous sex. No women wants to be with multiple men, women desire security from one man
I feel like hijab misunderstood the first point that was mentioned by the sister. It wasn't about spiritual abuse from God. It was about husbands using the "god card" against their wives. PS. This is just clarifying the point not condemning or condoning it.
well the sisters were saying that if a husband does polygamy then that's spiritual abuse which implies that this halal act from Allah is spiritually abusive.
@@a.abdalla4401 wrong. They said if the husband says because you are 'struggling' to accept this (jealousy, feeling inadequate etc) then you are lacking in faith. Jealousy is NATURAL as Ali pointed out, even Aisha RAA was jealous. Was she told she aas lacking in faith? The danger with saying this, makes a woman think if I cannot overcome these NATURAL human emotions, then I cannot be a good Muslim. I have heard of women leaving Islam because of this.
I might’ve missed something here. But it seems like the sister speaking is “quoting” other sisters who are coming to her with this discourse, not from herself. Brother Ali and Mo Hijab is taking it as if she is speaking on behalf of herself.
I find it strange that we have so many people debating polygamy when they couldn’t even afford to be in a polygamous relationship to begin with so why are they even talking about it. For instance, if you have 2 wives, unless you can convince them to live together, you have to buy 2 houses without riba. 90+% of men can’t do this. This ruling literally only applies to a tiny portion of the human population and ultimately serves the women from a societal point of view since it increases the woman’s ability to acquire a high quality man at the cost of 90+% of the male population.
it’s a religious discussion you don’t have to actually engage in polygamy to discuss it just like these three women would never want to engage in polygamy yet they are discussing it on camera
@@zodiyac of course you are allowed to. My question is why are so many people so obsessed with this topic especially considering it only affects a tiny portion of society.
@@HK-dd2bo well it’s obviously because there’s so many “muslim feminist” that constantly attack polygamy and shame the concept of it and any man or woman who wants to engage in it
Polygamy marriages are corruption... """And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance. To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire. In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire. Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.) Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it. This verse reminds us of the danger! Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption... Destroying the frist marriages!. Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim """And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance. To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire. In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire. Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.) Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it. This verse reminds us of the danger! Polygamy marriages come under desires! Bukhari :: Book 7 :: Volume 62 :: Hadith 157 Narrated Al-Miswar bin Makhrama: I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, "Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me."... Even Prophet Muhammed pbah didn't give permission to his daughters husband to take a second wife!
Not every man is polygompus, many are I agree but not all. Polygamy was not addressed clearly at any other religion except Islam because Arabs were known for their polygamy generally. Adultry was very common among Arabs at that time & were very much sex oriented to the point at they feared having daughters because they had an audacity to be raped !!
The best way to do polygamy is be transparent about your intentions for it before marriage, Ali. And when you see a woman you want to marry, as a courtesy, communicate & discuss with your first wife so she’s emotionally ready. That’s all those sisters are saying but you guys are attacking them for their word usage & accusing them of flirting with kufr. Not everything they said I agree with. Hijab, you’re saying a secret marriage is not wrong? That she can’t tell her family or anyone else? Do you realize women are human beings? Not robot playthings? We must all practice sabr…both men & women. So why don’t most men have sabr when their wives are struggling with sharing the husband? Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had sabr and counseled his ﷺ wives. You’re telling women to have sabr then a man should have sabr in either not marrying or cheating with other women. Or atleast have sabr when your wives may be emotionally struggling. Also, instead of shaming women for having emotions and being human, in a nice manner, teach us on how our Mother’s dealt with their emotions. Because they had it harder than us. Do work on your arrogance though Muhammad. You’re acting like Allah ﷻ didn’t give women ANY rights & THAT is extremely troubling. We have khulla. If a woman is selfish for putting her relationship with Allah ﷻ before her husband, then she’s selfish. Her accountability is with Allah ﷻ , not you
Respectfully, if you have a problem with secret marriage then your problem is not with Hijab. The rulings of Allah swt are set. Please do not fall for the same mistake the sisters did in the video.
What ever you wanna do for your wife or husband or anybody,please do it for the sake of Allah and He will save you from these stress going on in our community. Just a quick reminder to me and my brothers and sisters in Islam that this world we live in is a trial and anything that cross your path on it. Fear the day you allow with your deeds will stand allow in front of Almighty Allah, may He makes it a easy day for everyone one us. Amin
Someone needs to address the higher chances of getting an STD or STI for the man and his wives. It can also develop into an HIV and cause fertility issues on the long run. I personally refuse to sleep with my husband just knowing that he might get me an STD or STI, or even cause fertility issues for me. Some of those diseases stay with you for permanently like Hepatitis B, herpes, HIV, and HPV. AND women are more prone to get Cervical cancer if their husband is sleeping with other multiple wives. SEX EDUCATION NEEDS TO BE ADDRESED !!
AIDS cannot be transmitted if none of the wives has the disease, he can test them before marrying them, so avoid making stuff up if you are uneducated about this topic.
@@Bd-mq8td Yess, that is true as well. It's selfish to think that there's zero harm in marrying more than one wife without sexually transmitting infections or diseases. That's why it's Sunnah and not mandatory. I'm very dissapointed about the lack of education in this video and I hope all Muslims watching this read my comment or do their own research !
I can’t with you two. I reverted to Islam when I was nineteen. I’m now 69. I married my then, husband shortly after I became Muslim. My husband was not a stranger to me in the sense I’ve known him from the time I was in 3rd grade. So exactly 1 yr almost to the date he marries my late co-wife. Now we are all, the three of us African American reverts to Islam, so the concept of polygamy is truly foreign and strange, but it is a part of our Deen, so we must deal with it regardless. So being new Muslims, having to learn the religion and now having to deal polygamy also was not easy. So did he do it right, no he did not, was he dishonest, yes he was, for example, he told my late co-wife that he an I were getting a divorce so she would marry him, among other deceitful things, that I can’t even speak of. So for the two of you who want to sit up there and act like men don’t do all kinds low down acts in the name of what you refer to as an institution, give me a break. Muslim men engage in all types of dishonorable and immoral behavior when they want to have multiple wives. Clearly this is the type of behavior these sisters are talking about. So as Muslim woman are we suppose to except this behavior from our husbands an be happy about how he has carried this out. Yes brother there are true horror stories that Muslim men commit such as sleeping with the women in secret before he marries her, so on top of how the husband has betrayed his first wife then she is expected to hide his faults and smile to the world. I don’t know what planet the two of you live on, but you two need to take a seat.
These two are very judgemental and often miss the point of the basic teachings of Islam. It’s really frustrating because they often do more harm than good. I’m so upset that they up and went to Leicester to add fuel to an already bristling fire. Mosques are telling young brothers to stay indoors and away from any situations that could result in violence, then Hijab travels all the way to Leicester to entice young brothers to do the opposite of what Masjids are instructing.
It comes down to, yes to polygamy but.. theres allways the verbal judo, so many detractors here, but none of them are telling what the proper way of the act of polygamy should be.. still waiting.. crickets.
As a woman myself who is in a grey area regarding poly for myself i can say that if women don't poly that is ok. But on one hand one can't complain abt how single mothers have harder time to remarry while rejecting poly. Cuz poly can help single mothers. Either poly is accepted to help such women. Or it is rejected and we accept that for some women remarrying can be harder n a test for Allah. There r men who can face test in remarrying too.
Its these self righteous men implying a woman that doesn't agree with polygamy is not God fearing, absolute nonsense. Some women don't mind it, fine. Some women do, also fine. Most of these guys just want to cheat in a "halal" manner 😆. If men want this disclose that to wife number 1 before you marry her, if she accepts great if she doesn't move on, at least you was honest from the beginning. Men need to stop berating women who don't want to be apart of this.
You cannot reject poly as an aspect of Islam. Rejecting means rejecting the Quran itself. You have the right however, to refuse it personally. If you are married, you can clearly state that I do not want it. It's your right. And in Islam, ultimately, things are decided by compassion of people towards each other. Your husband should respect your wish.
@@amrhassan849 Thats not what the Quran said. The Quran says if a woman is being disobedient, withhold sex from her, if she continues, beat her. Your Islam and the Qurans Islam are quite different.
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What you and Ali Dawah are saying directly contradicts Prophet Muhammad PBUH's life because he was happily married and monogamous for majority of his life and even when he did commit polygamy and had an opportunity to make more children from his younger wives he still never had any children from them. A healthy family raising kids - he pbuh did that with Khadijah RA and no one else.
And no man is less manly for wanting that.
And moreover, he made sure that none of her daughters end up in polygamous relationships.
I seek monogamy from Allah because that's what I know my Prophet practiced.
Furthermore, in this link you will know how Ali Dawah's absolutely dumbfounded saying that "Men Are Naturally Polygamous" is completely baseless and artificial.(some of the commentary in this article is still woke tho but the scientific facts are there)
www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/karmak-bagisbayev/the-myth-of-male-polygamy_b_14879220.html
@@tausif6514 prove that the prophet did NOT want children with his other wives... are you saying men can ONLY get second or more wives after a certain age? prove this is a rule in islam, only a idiot or a munafiq would fall for your liberal trojan horse, my prophet was polygynous and im going to be polygynous, no man is less of a man for wanting that.
tell me what group are you from?
@@aimgiiiiiiii Ibrahim RA yes. Ibrahim RA who was born from a concubine and passed away in his infancy.
I was talking about the surviving children
Allahu.akbar .isalam.alkum. bros.shes been damaged and she wants other sisters. Damaged.i don't like her tone .evil.person .
Muslim women must be given a space to speak about their experiences, they shouldn’t be dismissed so coldly and insulted publicly; they spoke in a respectful and considerate manner - polygamy is not haram we all know this, but compassionate Muslim men are running out so perhaps focus on encouraging men to become more compassionate and considerate to their wife/wives instead of insulting abused mothers who want better for the ummah
Neither is polyandry which means many husbands
No when u have this amound of misleading ideas and thoughts to that large croud you should watch what u say... cause now u have an effect on a large number of people dont come in here corrupting islamic traditions with your freedom nonsens
But they basically said that polygamy(something Allah explicitly allows) is not moral. Take the dress off and pay better attention, this is public Muslim men do not owe understanding or apologies, the problem is within herself and she should go to real shuyukh for help not public laymen
Compassion? From men?? From MUSLIM men?? 😂😂😂😂😂 keep dreaming
@@JOYRIDEUS no they didn’t they said the way it being executed is not right not the whole institution next time actually watch the whole video.
As a brother I have to accept the fact that I can see where these sisters are coming from. I can't possibly put myself in their shoes. Are they robots that they can't verbalize their emotions. May Allah grant us the ability to be compassionate on how our mothers and daughters may Express their feelings
No, you can't "verbalize" your emotions if it means speaking kufr or kufr-like statements.
@@YeOldVisigoth if someone said “it’s really difficult to wake up for Fajr, especially when I have work because I feel so tired” would you tell them they are verging in kufr for talking about their challenge? Or would you offer encouragement and maybe a possible solution such as sleeping earlier or taking a nap during the day etc… Similarly I don’t think it’s a problem to have open conversations about the challenges Muslims face in their deen
@@82kmal JazakAllahu khayr
Ameen
@@82kmal You just contradicted yourself brother. These sisters are literally doing the opposite of encouraging or motivating. They are breaking and corrupting families. You are allowed to voice your challenges and seek help in fact you are encouraged to do so, but you cannot speak opposing Islamic Shari'a as these sisters have done.
Brothers, I’m a man and I’ve met Muslim brothers that abuse the 4 wives verse. So it’s not off for women to make the claim for men who are not perfect and abuse it. I’m talking outside the parallels of the normal struggles with polygamy. Understand it’s not a walk in the park not even for the prophet but a lot of men these days abuse it
I come from a polygamous community. It's an utter mess. It's abused sooooo much and they absolutely don't care about women's feelings. May Allah preserve us ameen. Salam
@@sisterfleur7523 I agree. Because I’m a man and I’ve seen it being abused. I don’t want to air out my own community but some things I see is disgusting. Using our sisters in faith only as sex objects. And it’s not just 1 case. It’s multiple. Quran says if you can’t do just, then only have 1 wife. I’d say 95% of men can’t do just. It’s not some birth right that’s promised to us. It’s an option and a privilege. And me personally its best to consult before hand about these things to see if wife is even down.
@@qasimfareed5821 JazakAllahu khairan for speaking the truth as man. May Allah swt reward you.
There's also plenty of women who abuse their husbands
@@waleedasad7072 I’m aware brother.. but 1 thing at a time. This is not a man vs woman war. We should understand and love each other as equals. We each have nuances in regards to rules prescribed by God but it’s not to hurt each other. Women are to be taken care of, shouldn’t have to pay for nothing. And should be protected all the way til death. Men are allowed 4 wives if we treat them justly. If not just 1 wife. And the wife is liable for bearing him children amongst other pleasures if the moment presents itself. That is what Allah has prescribed man and woman, but again shouldn’t be used to hurt one another
I didn't see anything wrong with what the sisters said. They approached the topic in a mature way, They have voiced out the realities of polygamy and what it does to women. One of the effects of polygamy that needs to be addressed is The effect it has on children, Children become insecure and tend to overthink , They feel less loved by their father and some children end up villainising them . Men should consider this effect because it's less talked about . They should constantly show and remind their kids that they still love them because kids also feel betrayed
My father has 2 wives and at no point have i ever felt insecure. From his second wife (my mother) he had 10 children from his first wife he had 4 children. Not only are we not insecure I'd say we're Alhamdulilah a very successful family. My grandfather was also married twice and our family back home in Pakistan is actually a well respected honorable family. My uncles own companies and properties through out Dubai, Kuwait and Pakistan. I only mention this because broken insecure people are rarely successful rather they're are low achievers. Both my mother and my father's other wife get along very well father is just to both women and provides for both of them. I am part of a massive family and I swear by Allah I wouldn't have it any other way.
@@adamkhan1744 that's the difference. you are from Pakistan where it's common and the norm. Alhamdulillah you are lucky u had a good experience but it's not the same for everyone. We must be mature to realize that everyone has different experiences and ine doesn't invalidate the other. Trying to practice in the west where it's not the norm and in a society where it may also not have any legal recognition gives rise to all sorts of issues that you won't understand unless you've experienced it or seen it first hand.
@@oulangkous718 I beg to differ in western society a man has 2/3/4 girlfriends which is basically polygamy without the marriage and responsibility. This is where polygamy fixes this issue and gives a woman honour respect and rights where as western men just indulge in zina with numerous women and discard them when they're done.
@@adamkhan1744 according to whom? that's a big misconception being pushed by these online duaat as if it's facts. maybe in their circles they just know corrupted brothers but other families produce good brothers. especially those who attended islamic schools or were home schooled and even some from public schools if their parents were hands on with raising them to understand the deen with taqwa.
additionally they like to say it's impossible for a man to be satisfied with one woman but what they dont tell you is that a man who had slept around will have other experiences to compare to their wife and if they had better than what she offers they will always yearn for more. whereas a mumin who has taqwa and only experienced one woman, she will be the best he had cos she's all he had. Prophet Muhammad pbuh managed with one woman for at least +- 15years. so it's very possible.
@@oulangkous718 I am born and raised in the England and still live here. Islam in the west isn't what it was 10 years ago yes there is more knowledge available about Islam more than there ever has been to your average layman but the Islamic situation in England has worsened. Women wear convertible hijabs skin tight abayas work in free mixed environments and some how justify it with Islam. I don't see how these people think they have figured out 1400years worth of Islam in the last 6-8 years. The problem in England and especially America isn't just the lack of proper Muslim men it's the lack of traditional Muslim women. Who think they can go out to work in a Turban Hijab free mix with men at work come home and expect an aalim to be sat at home waiting for her.
I am a Muslim woman, and I admit, polygamy in itself isn’t the problem, it’s about the Muslim brothers that have abused this form of Sunnah practice and made their wives feel like side chicks. Some men do not honor their wives and cannot marry another wife because they simply cannot afford to and will not treat people equally. Polygamy itself is halal, some Muslim brothers have broken the ethic so much so that a woman feels uncomfortable to be in this wreckage style of marriages. Allah loves those who are best to their families. Polygamy is halal, and we accept that. Something needs to be done about some brothers who commit heinous grivienances to their families NOT because they got another wife, but the maltreatment of the wife parties involved
the abuse can happen within the confines of either a monogamous or polygamous marriage. so one doesn't preclude the other. it has to do with the person not which marriage style they have.
The woman picked the man she wants to marry. She has some accountability
Something needs to be done 🤡
@@Full2635 are you stupid? is it a woman’s fault that her husband turned out to be abusive or favours the second wife over the first. how is she supposed to know how he would be like that, some people fake being nice they fake acting character
What you have described can happen in monogamous marriages too. Secondly, women can have these type of characteristics aswell. Whats your point?
A reason why I believe a man should let his wife know of his intentions to remarry is to explore the reasons WHY he wants to seek another wife. It opens up a dialogue between the husband and wife and communicates respect.
Most of the men I know who have remarried/expressed their desire to remarry is because they’re ‘issues’ in the marriage. What marriage doesn’t have issues. I’m not against polygamy but I am against a man seeking another wife simply because he is dissatisfied with his first wife but HASN’T exhausted any efforts to try to reconcile with her. Thats a recipe for disaster as he’ll be entering the second marriage on the wrong footing, as immediately theres more chance he will favour the second wife and no doubt yrs down the line run into the same unresolved issues within himself with the second wife!
He can choose to remarry if he has the capacity for it, regardless if there are issues within the first marriage or not. Your comment is full of emotional wording, you are exactly the same as the females on the podcast. Also he doesn’t have to communicate the reason why he wants to do that, your test is to accept it and be patient as long as he treats his wives fairly then there should be no problem.
@@xAmiin I don't agree with this line of reasoning brother. It is true a man can make this decision without consulting the wife (as the Prophet did so), but if he knows it would be better to do so (it's likely that the Prophet, living in a polygamous society, knew his wives would expect him to take other wives even if their marriage was healthy), then he should do so. Husbands should always treat their wives best as possible, as the Prophet taught us. The sister brings up a good point and a wise man would consider this advice and take it to heart
A man doesn't need to "communicate" if he wants another wife. He can take upto 4 how he likes.
If a man does what you said, it would make him seem weak and pathetic honestly.
@@fark69 >consulting the wife
that's the most beta thing a man could do.
La Hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.
Why are you obligating a man to know how he will feel in let's say, five years from now?
She a muslimah? He a muslim? Entering nikah contract? Legislation is by THE Legislator. Has He obliged men to, upon entering the first nikah, explore why they would want to marry a second, third, fourth wife? La Hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. Don't you realize, it is the other way round: if anything, it is the first wife who should then explore what it is in her that doesn't allow her to peacfully submit and accept, completely pleased with the reality that her husband has THE RIGHT to marry three more wives, if he is able and if he wants to. It is not her right to set the boundaries before hand, while the husband in 10 or 15 years from now could get able and feel need to marry an other wife?
It is so painful to read these comments, where the bottom line is clearly the modern concept, and not the natural, fitrah concept.
My take on her mention of spiritual abuse was when a husband makes the wife feel deficient in her iman for her dislike in partaking in polygyny.
Which is sooooooooooo common loool. Even in my country Senegal
Absolutely.
Sometimes the problem is inside and not outside
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
This is what happens when you take random people on the internet such as Hijab and Dawah for teachers and ignore the qualified ones. Hijab can master Aristotelian logic but has no problem with misleading through red herring because the sisters’ video was about ABUSING through polygamy, rather than polygamy in its default state being abusive.
The assumption that Hijab is completely objective and possesses an Islamic rational understanding which can go unchallenged says a lot about many people who follow him. There is a clear bias which is THEN rationally justified. Any bias or deception can be logically supported and this is how human beings work. Hijab's lean towards a material understanding of the religion. Furthermore, observing his temperament, he seems like a competitive alpha (at least outwardly) who cannot tolerate the challenges by women men are having in our time and place. For this anyone can go miles and beyond to restore their ego again. This is patriarchy packed as Islamic right there and you all take it for what it has been presented like. If you think that you are is serving Allah through such content then you should truely reconsider it.
I’m not sure if the people in the comment section even gave a chance to the video done by the sisters- because if you did you’d realize that he twists a lot of things.
The sisters' video started directly with a disclaimer saying that Allah said that polygamy is allowed and there is no doubt about that and the permissibility was Not the topic of discussion since the matter is crystal clear. She then very clearly said that the discussion was limited to how it is being done wrongly in the society we are living in . The other sister in green khimar even extended on her point saying (paraphrasing) ' We know what it's supposed to look like when it's done correctly because we have the prophetic model for such attestation '. She used the word "spiritual abuse"(which by the way is not a buzz word and is an actual category of abuse) for explaining when there could be a misuse of power , she illustrated an example saying a person in such circumstances could use the "God card" i.e excusing abusive tendencies through 'supportive material' that 'religiously excuse' these types of behavior (when in reality it doesn't). Then they got into how many women today are psychologically suffering from this toxic relationships. They exemplified actual sisters who struggled to the point of psychological malfunction and had their children at stake as a result of this. And here Hijab's hyperrational explanation is that (1) spiritual abuse is a term used in feminists circles (2) islam allows such pain to be tolerated. It is hyperrational because it goes beyond the boundaries of the need of rationality and instead justifies extremes (1)I have never heard of feminists using the term spiritual abuse. But even if that was the case. Feminists can use the word "chair" and it would still not say anything about the term having an exclusivity to them. Feminism only becomes problematic when it exceeds boundaries and no longer believes in limited parameters or anything objectively set. Feminists drink water that doesn't mean we should stop drinking water. Besides spiritual abuse is akin to the shaytan's way of misusing islam. The satan according to our scholars have islamic knowledge, but the satantic element is what makes it not islamic. This includes (but is not exclusive to) not having love , and it includes as well evily justifying behaviour through islam. An example are kharijites. And this is what spiritual abuse is- you misguided people and deceive them through using islam. Someone could do all sorts of corruption and abuse and then reclaim their right through islam and the Quran talks about such archetype. Humanbeings need to justify behavior . It is ingrained in our psyche. This is why America paints muslims as terrorist before going to war. (2) Here is where I'm saying that Hijab's explanation seemed hyper rational. Islam and asymmetry and the allowing of pain. Pain and discomfort are instrinticly part of life, yes. Trials are painful and the wisdom is to submit to Allah. But islam is not hyperrational to the point it doesn't recognize harm beyond accepted scope. Now saying that women can have depression as result of abusive polygamous marriages because islam allows that- this is completely misplaced. One of the shari'i principles is to protect the sanity of the muslim men and woman which includes their psychological health and the prophet pbuh said that the dignity 'Hurma' of each muslim is inviolable. Marriage in islam is not about the lower self, and has a lot to do with the union of families. It's more about uniting with so many families and fufill all the conditions while maintaining excellence.
The sisters even mentioned the children being at stake due to the impact it has had on the mother's psychological health post finding out- if children aren't the greatest of the amanah to take care of then what is the real point here? Hijab shouldn't dismiss this point.
If you believe in complete legal positivism where pain is allowed I understand but then why justify inconsistently when it's for the opposite gender? It is inconsistent because Hijab either justifies his perceptions with (1) hypperational arguments derived from religious or non-religious sources (2) evolutionary psychology of men's upper hand or any biological explanations of men's nature. The example of this was last video of polygamy in which Dawah was asserting the point on male nature and polygamy . Another example is a video in which Hijab with Naima B. Roberts were speaking and Hijab expressed his disgust with muslim women that wanted the financial benefits of traditional marriage where men are being providers as well as the modern benefits . He never justified such archetype with being any evolutionary psychology explanation . He outrightly said he was disgusted. That is nothing compared to women accepting the abuse you are promoting and yet you are not disgusted with that to the slightest degree which is selfish. This whole point of women as accepting abuse seems to ignore how Quran speaks of marriage as a sacred bond in which wife and husband and how it is a worship of fulfilling this sunnah. And it ignores how the Quran says that this relation is established on Mawadda (love and mercy) as a sign and not a tyrannical transaction which the wife should bear. 'And one of His signs is that He has created for you, spouses from among yourselves so that you might take comfort in them and He has placed between you, love and mercy. In this, there is surely evidence (of the truth) for the people who carefully think.” (30:21). It also ignored the prophetic excellence towards women and the farewell speech. So in the end of the day it's not even about islam but about men that want to justify corruption.
Just like sidi Shaykh Abdal-Hakim Murad (may Allah preserve him) that says "It is better to be a naïve believer than an intellectual bereft of intuition"
May Allah protect us. Amin.
Your comment will soon be deleted 😂
@@Azura-adamson Alhamduliah. That means he's read it.
@@aminam4547 , ya mine got deleted. I had so many likes I also brought one official fatawa. Also see the comments very few with strong decent whereas on twitter these clowns are getting trolled.
Stopped reading your essay after you complained about the “patriarchy”. Patriarchy means men holding most of the positions in a government. In Islam it’s haram for women to be leaders, the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) said “people who appoint a woman to be their leader, will never achieve success” (Sahih Bukhari).
@@Theshowoffcollector I mean it's up to you if you want to read it or not. You did however stumble on a small stone and miss the big elephant in the room.
I think the sisters held an intelligent conversation which needed to be had. Please brothers, let's not nitpick for the sake of it. Why is it when a woman expresses her view/experience of polygamy that brothers always go on witch hunt and feel they need to refute.
Brothers, at the beginning of the vid the sisters say Allah swt has spoken on polygamy and we accept. KHALas, why have you made this video if it is not to disect the conversation and infer your own interpretation and meanings. Take a seat and let sisters speak build safe spaces to speak and share ideas w/o brothers jumping on the bandwagon and screaming feminist. This video is so out of order of you.
Your comment will soon be deleted 😂
Absolutely. It seems as if screaming “feminist/feminism” is the latest boogeyman to be unleashed & targeted towards Muslim sisters who dare speak out about concerns they may have. How difficult is it to conceive the idea that Muslim women are able to formulate ideas independent of feminist theory.
This culture of brothers racing to chastise & “refute” Muslim women raising concerns with knee-jerk reactions of “You are corrupting the ummah” “spreading feminist rhetoric” is an effective silencing tool with a clear goal to discourage more sisters from speaking up.
"Intelligent" absolutely not.
So when has "feelings" "layers of trauma upon trauma, spritual abuse" only become the moral compass in Islam. If you live in the west you would get shivers and cold when you see Islamic justice meted out to a criminal especially a robber, a bandit or a rapist so would you cry like it is "layers of trauma upon trauma" thus negating what is revealed directly in the Quran???
@@muhammadansarahmed6039 Feminist Tedtalk bs bro
As someone who has various friends whom sisters are literally all getting treated like 2nd class women after her spouse re-married, no one of those fulfil the condition of Surah An-Nisa 4:3. As regards the permission to marry more than one wife (up to 4), it is so restricted by the condition by quran itself, “If you have reason to fear that you might not be able to treat them with equal fairness, then marry only one". A permission which is conditional upon his determination and ability to, not only by the desire itself, even it's also a valid part. Just show me one of your example man who's taking care of widows, reconciling families through marriage, freeing slaves, and educating his wives in the teachings of Islam. I might know one of various guys who is doing it right, so what's the conclusion for those that did marry various wifes, without even fulfiling the condition? This is the question that we need to get answered.
What is a "Second Class woman"? As opposed to "first-class women"? Not sure what your definition of justice is -- no Gucci bags for all? Interesting how you don't talk about what women have to bring to the table.
My friend literally paid for his wife's med school -- ofc that's his responsibility -- but also cooked for the house while working two jobs all to also pay for HER parent's rent, debt, and bills plus HER brother's college tuition. She now asserts it is her right to let her go to another country to start her medical residency for 3-5 years.
Tell me that's just. Tell me he does not have permission to remarry if she decides to pursue her "right". And is my friend being treated as a "second class man"?
@@SlazeM7 Sad stuff wallah
@@SlazeM7 he didnt have to marry her? Whats his issue
@@michiga5220 He did not know her that well. We do not date as Muslims and last I checked we should not blame the victim ... or is it okay to blame the victim cause it is a man in this case?
@@SlazeM7 I see what you mean but the advice I will be taking for myself is that marriage is such a serious matter you HAVE to have more discussions while unmarried with a potential spouse about needs, wants, study's, job opportunity and a whole lot of other stuff before getting married. Or then you will quite frankly yet yourself into a shit situation as you are describing and which I don't know what the best course of action is.
Some men learn to understand and empathize more with women's struggles after their daughters experience the same..
But then it is too late.
Its easy to say women this women that.. but God forbid such a situation befalls one's own daughter or sister - that is when our eyes are opened to the reality of what their struggle..
All Muslim women are our sisters.. so please have some compassion while addressing these women..
The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was gentle in giving advice. You can be kind and impart advice - that's way more effective.
Brother wallah if it’s a issue for women we should be careful and understanding of their emotions instead of calling them names as they are our sisters in deen - I love you for the sake of Allah but you needed to approach this more sensibly and understandingly jzakallahu khayr
A lot of women talk badly on polygamy . This is haram. But These women spoke well of it , they only just spoke on behalf of other womens experiences . These mens ego are out of this world . Didn’t even understand a word of these womens videos .
@@ANa-qt7tt ironically you don’t understand a word from the mens’ videos. Double standards right there
We have to obey to Allah not discuss his permissions or orders.
Yes, as a man I'd rather hear what women have to say on these matters than these immature men.
@@fatamorgana909 it is not a person’s statement. Qur’an is Allah’s words . How can you say the ayah was injustice. ?🙁. Ok Allah allowed not forced men to marry.If anyone can they should do.
I have to say this conversation that both of you had was incredibly disappointing. The sister CLEARLY said nothing wrong with polygamy and yet you were still putting words in her mouth as if she doesn’t agree with it.
They were just expressing how some men use it as way to abuse their spouse which is true. This level of shaming people of just talking through their emotions is a big reason why so many younger people are just quietly leaving Islam.
You guys are so we’ll educated Mashallah yet don’t you know one of the conditions for polygamy is to treat your wives equally and justly? Doing justice to others and being aware of huqooq al ibad is not a command of Islam? Is that just as you are insinuating something Islam doesn’t care about?
This is clearly an example of when our ummat is just focused on rules rather than the hikmat and spirit of those rules. Something that people like imam ghazali warned us about smh
This is the most accurate comment
Thank you
This is why I don’t follow Mohammed hijab and the other guy
Plot twist: these two guys are not "well educated". What do you expect of people who picked up knowledge of the deen from street-da'wah?!
@@kriputyub7566 your name seems suspicious.
it is truly a blessing that Allah gave women khulaa as women can take matters into their own hands when dealing with a husband who lacks empathy and compassion and forces her into things that she can not accept
Women, for your own protection you can write it down in your nikkah contract that he cannot marry another woman and that will be the end of it as it becomes forbidden for him. Just as he has his rights, you have yours, but also make sure this is something discussed before marriage so you don’t end up broken x
Is it permissible to do this? I have heard it isn't.
@@leilaabdelmeguid3977 it is
@@leilaabdelmeguid3977 It is, the least you can do is divorce the guy if he marries another by stating this beforehand on the contract for your own protection. Those who say no are only saying no for backwards cultural reasons & because they expect women to just be okay with it and act as if we have no rights (typically ‘men’) when we actually do Alhamdulillah.
@@webiplus No, it's not. It's her right: ruclips.net/video/yedc0uZtKbI/видео.html
@@webiplus you can put anything you want in a marriage contract and it is your right as long as it’s not encouraging something haram or going against the deen. Polygamy isn’t fard and is permissible for certain circumstances. Not wanting your husband to marry another woman is not haram and putting it in a contract is fine as it is up to the individual to accept or deny. No one is forcing anyone here, it’s simply a unique agreement between a man and woman and each contract will be unique to the couple. I know a girl who put that she refuses to do dishes and her husband cannot expect it of her in their marriage. Weird request but also totally valid under the law. If you don’t like it just don’t accept it, but it’s unfair to think that women have no rights to have a say in the matter because we do. If we feel strongly enough about it to put it in our contract then it is our right and you are not going to take that away or manipulate it into being haram when it isn’t.
So much gaslighting happening in this video... they twisted what was said by the woman and didn't bother actually listening to what their concerns are with polygamy, which in fact proved what the ladies said about spiritual abuse. A lot of woman get emotionally blacked mailed into staying with their husbands which causes a lot of trauma. These comments from a lot of men show how selfish they are and put only their needs first with no care for their wives which is extremely sad, no respect for their spouse at all shocking!
“There is no compulsion in religion” [al-Baqarah 2:256]... Gaslighting and Manipulating women into polygamy marriages!!!. Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!
Yes! Preach my friend. I am with you!
“Gaslighting” - a word that has been developed by white atheist feminist women to downgrade men. Now it’s unfortunately been used by Muslims sisters 😔 😔
Please tell us the data what percentage of women initiate divorces in america for example it’s near the 80 percentage. Don’t say lots of men black mail without any proof your speaking from Emotion
@@adamj6724 Simply read the comments, the proof is literally in your face but don't want to accept it that's fine. Look how so many men in these comments are belittle woman saying its their right and completely disregarding and disrespecting a woman point of view. why do you think more woman initiate divorce in America?
They didn’t say the institution of polygamy is spiritual abuse, they said when men go about it the wrong way and women get upset by that and end up disliking their polygamy situation and men tell them something is wrong with them and they are going against Islam because they don’t like the wrong way in which it is being practiced….THAT….is the spiritual abuse.
I haven’t watched your entire video yet and I don’t have time to at the moment but that part there….. I started off watching this video with an open mind interested to see you alls opinions about the video, however, when you all said the sister was mixing in kufr because she disliked the practice of polygamy when she clearly didn’t say that, that rubbed me the wrong way and set the tone for how I feel you all are going to misrepresent the rest of what these ladies have said.
But neither did the sisters explain how polygyny should be practiced according to Quran and Sunnah. All they did was emotionally rant and never once quoted Quran and Sunnah.
They didn’t give any examples of the wrong way and how to do it the right way. They were talking about how as a women to deal with polygamy if you dislike it - which is basically talking about polygamy in general.
Ali also did say that even if the man was to do it the right way, the feelings of the woman wouldn't be any different.
omg thankyou for making this comment.
I doubt you came with an open mind, you came here defending them as part of defending the sisterhood.
Now if you listen to that they said and the association they made with something that Allah made halal and the prophet practiced you know clearly why hijab said that they are bordering on kufr... Bother Muhammed hijab uses verses from the Quran and examples from the prophet's life to help his argument unlike the sisters you're defending... Put your emotions aside and try to watch it fully with a true open mind, they make a lot of good arguments which I think you'll find benefitial
Assalam alaykoum, I am a revert and to answer brother Ali’s question. I think the right way to do polygamy is openness and communication. For men not to keep the marriage secret from anyone, for men to understand that there will be a period of emotional struggle and talking about any negative feelings and trying to resolve them together, how is this going to impact our relationship. Then what happens depends, certain relationships would thrive in a polygamous situation and others will suffer. I think if the sister ultimately decides to request a divorce from her husband or a sharia council, that decision should be respected.
May Allah guide you and make it easy for you to practise islam as a revert Allahumma Ameen.
Masha Allah sister what you just said it's what Islam tell us to do.. is to consult you guys in a very good manner..because you also have right...and yes if you refuse our reasons, yes you can ask for divorce.
Khulla can be requested. But is that really a valid reason ? That's what needs to be thought about and considered. If you decide to leave a good man who has met his obligations , then is that really a sound decision?
I haven't watched the video yet. Maybe they explain what I have said.
The basis of nikah is to keep it open. RasulAllah Sallahu Alaihi wa Sallam forbade marriage made in hidden
Men facing the high likelihood that the first wife will divorce him and ruin the home of the children is exactly why men would rather go about it in secret.
I didn’t watch the whole video as I felt it very unfairly attacked the sisters that were only trying to address a serious issue .The argument of not needing to show compassion to a sister suffering in a polygamous marriage is just cold and out of character for Muslims. Of course it is the right of a man,no one is disputing this. The woman also has her God given rights that also need to be met. When a Muslim is dealing with a trial ,they need compassion. No one wants to be told to suck it up and get over it. Would you say that to a person suffering from cancer? No! You would remind them of Allahs reward and seeking help and patience in what Allah has chosen for them. If someone loses a child would you say , stop grieving and get over it, Allah doesn’t burden a soul beyond what they can bare? No! You would deal with them with the best manners and compassion. Why would you expect a sister not to feel sadness when her husband has taken another wife? Maybe women shouldn’t love their husbands in order to protect themselves? Of course not, the woman will go through a period of loss and should be properly advised with compassion. Don’t even get me started on men that can’t afford one family, but feel entitled to have another family. Wives and children have rights that must be met before even considering a new family. May Allah enlightenment men and put mercy in their hearts for women, May He give patience to the sisters being tested with what they love most Ameen
Aameen
@@Ibrah-ibrah
JazakAllah khair for such a well written explanation.
Alhumdulilah for knowledgeable people that are able to understand and help others to also grasp the truth.
You explained it so well.
@Western Liberal Ideology-leftNright-isHYPOCRITICAL hurts like hell better to be single than experience the amount of emotional pain a person go through.I had nightmares and nifo years.I have been single for years and I can say I would rather much be single than ever be in that kind of situation again
Out of fairness watch it all
I think the problem is this polygamy topic is becoming girls vs boys. These sisters are not talking about the good muslim men who want to get a co wife. They are talking about situations where a brother is struggling with one wife- and then all of a sudden they bring another member to the already weaknesses there is. Respect to sisters who have the strength and agreement for polygamy happily. But also sisters who struggle with it - should not be shunned. Bringing another wife into the family- affects everyone. Everyone has a say- to what they are mentally able to deal with. No compulsion in the deen. A man who forces a wife to wear a hijab for eg- will not get the same acceptance from that wife towards it as the one where the husband has been patiently and with love educating her about hijab.
The mother comparison does not work. A cowife affects their own personal life directly.
A man has a duty to protect his wife. That does not just mean with muscles. But her mental state and state of iman too.
A woman puts children needs before her own- as they are under her as amanah. Likewise a woman is an amanah on the man.
If a man can see this ‘force of decision’ will affect his wifes, (the mother of his children ) iman and mental state- is it worth it ?
Thank you! I 100% agree.
I agree. And here we havemen saying it’s sunnah so we shouldn’t care about women’s “weak nature”. This is the exact type that isn’t morally equipped to be responsible of other people’s well-being, wives or even children.
The jealousy woman feel isn't even real jealousy. It's something they learned from other woman who look at a woman who's married to a man that has multiple wife's. In the past woman would find other woman they believed we're good so the husband would marry them. Most men that had some money had multiple wife's. It's not in the nature of a woman to be jealous of another wife unlike men which have a strong desire to not even let his wife be seen let alone. It's culture.
@@moealtwil7833 so the prophet’s wives that experienced jealousy wasn’t in their nature but learned from other women?
And what is your source of information for women and men’s natures?
Ps: Men’s strong desire to not let their wives be even seen is insecurity
@Western Liberal Ideology-leftNright-isHYPOCRITICALhonestly I’ve heard of a couple women that are completely okay with it but it’s because they’re absolutely done with their men lol and would love for another woman to inherit the responsibility of caring for an adult in addition to their kids
Basically men with an %100 indifferent wife are usually a burden rather than a partner.
As believing women we submit to the will of Allah...we worship Allah... Not our husbands. We submit to his infinite wisdom which transcends our limited understanding.
Islam is a religion focusing on all rather than individual whims... Alhamdulillah for Islam.
We live in a highly romanticised time.. where we think this perfect love story exists for us... We set ourself up for failure by making this standard our goal.
Our marriages, children, living and dying all should be for the sake of Allah azawajal... Nothing else. This will bring our hearts true contentment and peace. ❤️
Oppressed by Allah.
@@Waterbug1591 shut up and stay the hell out from here. Why r u even here
@@Waterbug1591 oppressed by your whims and en route hell, she's freed by her creator don't you worry paigam
@@hasaansyed5027 Why do muslims french kiss black stone pagan style? And why is the symbol for pagan moon god Lah, the crescent moon, on top of every mosque?
@@hasaansyed5027 she's forced to wear a garment over her head like a Chinese dumpling even in a hot weather and accepts Allah's abuse.
I am very sad, brothers, why all this attack on these women? You didn't even talk about the basic condition that allows a man to have polygamy? Justice and integrity are a prerequisite for polygamy. Many men do not know the rights of one wife, so how will justice be achieved between two people? And to be fair, many of the male brothers are trying to do so, as they know women's rights only in theory and do not know how to apply it in practice. Perhaps they did not find a good role model in their lives, and they did not find someone to guide them from old men with experience in happy families. I mean, look around you and you find that those who have good parents are successful in their relationships. Contrary to those who have fathers, they did not have the blessing of understanding and agreement with women, and these are the majority in this time in which we live. Also, there are other reasons, such as raising children in our time, which is not what it was before. They did not get enough experience to grow up as mature men due to lack of social experience. The main point I want to convey is that if a man is financially and physically able and has the successful personality to manage situations that make him satisfied all parties, he married another woman in a right way, his wife would never think of leaving him.
polygamy is a man's right, so you saying "many men dont know women's rights" yet you are trying to dismiss the man's right which is he can have other wives, sound hypocritical.
@@vortexlight8387 he wasn't dismissing polygany, it's a wise fact that if you know your rights and the rights of your spouse, your marriage has a better chance of success.
Better to discuss what kind of school of thought you follow, how you plan to live, difference in praying or not, discuss all these things before entering a marriage, and you have a better head start than many ignorant relationships.
@@vortexlight8387 It's a right of a man only if he can meet the requirements.
@@SELFMOTIVATION007 thats litterally every tight in islam, as long as you meet the requirements.
@@vortexlight8387 yes but there are rules before men can take other wives. and guess what a woman does not have to agree with you she can divorce you for exactly this. that is her right as a wo too. now move on and stop acting as if wo do all this for their pleasure.
no these are tests from god from the headscarf to always wearing longsleeves etc and having to accept your husband taking a second wife. these are not fun things to do but most do it not for their love to their husbands but to their gods. and even there god is good and gives them right to ask to divorce
Have you noticed that non of the complains they made are islamically justified like the man not providing, or not fulfilling any number of his marital duties.
If you follow the money you will always find the Intent; this women has a business where she consults with ppl that go through “infidelity” = polygamy as she calls it. she is just creating customers for herself by labeling them traumatized. She is literally selling the deen for few cents 😭🤮
You may be right but if you’re Muslim then that’s your sister so don’t assume the worse from her
Islamically*
@@DhabLibaaxPodcast I don’t know about brother but what their doing is one of the worse sins I can think of
Isn't there a hadith that states that if a man does not treat his wives equally and with fairness he will be brought forward on judgement day as half paralysed? Can a man love one wife the exact same as he loves another wife? It's not just about material things. Can a man give his second wife the same time and love and care as his first? If he can then good for him. If they are happy to live in such a marriage good for them. But if a woman does not want to live in such a marriage will she be punished for choosing to leave according to Quran or sunnah?
I think this is needed to counteract what seems to be becoming a movement against polygamy. But what these sisters talk about is real, the abuse happens and it’s very real. I have seen sisters destroyed by brothers who very much do abuse them spiritually , just like this was needed ,brothers speaking out against the injustice of their fellow brothers is also needed . Maybe another video explaining that regardless of whether all
Men are polygamous or not , polygamy is not a joke and with one wife or four , the rights should not be abused and women should not be oppressed. I know woman who’s husbands have oppressed them and beaten them for years then taken second wives while not financially providing and other brothers in the dawah field have turned a blind eye as to not make the dawah scene look bad . The video you made would have been better without the mockery and with a little understanding of why this movement is rising , it’s the other extreme and caused by lack of acknowledgment of the real oppression faced by sisters . Both sides need to get of the defence and realise that it’s not about who will win the argument , it’s about teaching men and woman both the right way to maintain and uphold a happy home .
@@myffc8896 they feel that way because of how bad it has gotten many men abuse polygamy (btw we aren’t just talking about that little jealousy because it’s normal even the prophets wives had it) we are talking about something else the fact that many men abuse polygamy it has stricken fear into many sisters hearts/it has given polygamy a bad name. And it’s not talked about, people seem to always want to cover the underlying issue
@@myffc8896 things Mohammed hijap and Ali should understand is that the Sisters channel is mostly based in talking about experience things from others perspectives, struggles within the community that are overlooked. and the message Muslim sisters convey is not wrong not in their world/in their perspective, from the perspective of Muslim sisters polygamy to them is what (people) has established what polygamy is, not what Islam has established. (and a large amount of those people are the ones who have abused it/or they are the ones that have seen/heard about the abuse and decided to do nothing about it), that's why the sisters (whom ali and hijab are reacting to) that's why they are speaking about this problems because we aren't meant to run away from problems but confront them and find the underlying issue otherwise the problem will become bigger..
@@myffc8896 and let me ask you something, let's say the city you live in you hear one or two people were beaten badly while going to buy some grocery or ice cream at night, the one that did the beating was never caught, and there is still a very good chance out there for you to get beaten up by someone....the question is.... Will you ever feel safe to walk out at night, and if you decide to walk out at night will you bring some sort of protection with you?.
@@myffc8896 you guys aren't understanding what they are saying, they aren't attacking Islam nor polygamy/good pious Muslim men, their intention is not to attack y'all are missing the message behind their sayings which is so easy to pinpoint, this brothers are really just dragging it, when you are done watching this try to watch the sisters video/understand it. Try to see it through their eyes, put yourself in their shoes for you to maybe understand it better, because I really don't see what y'all are trying to prove, how can harmless talk about someones experience be dangerous. I'm really trying to understand your point of view but I just don't see it.
@@myffc8896 yes that's exactly what I'm trying to say, and anyone in your place would do the same/or bring some protection like you did with ayatul kursi, or any other in your place would try to avoid staying out at night late, they would always processed with caution. Do you understand now the message behind this.
Invalidating women’s feelings is the reason why feminism is born. Kindly approach this issue with compassion and empathy towards the more vulnerable sisters..
Watch her video about mahr. "Its my right" "girls ask for the highest mahr" "if u cant afford that your a broke mandem".
Same back to her: its a mans right to marry 4 wives.
Her: omg "the god card" "spiritual abuse" "omg bullying".
We are talking about religion here. There is no place for your personal feelings. I am a woman, I have personal issues with the matter. But it is a fact, that my husband has the right to have 3 other wife's besides me. I have to accept it, because Allah allowed it for him. Period. My feelings are my own problem. I have to work on my Iman, on my tawakkul and on my desires. That's it. And I know for a fact that I would have issues. But it is my own problem. And to be fair, isn't it better for the other women, to have their rights? Do you want them to be a disrespected side chick? Is that what you want for your sisters?
@@AmeenaF19 empathy is a huge part of Islam. Look at the way Musa AS spoke with phaorah. Gently! And we can't even speak gently with out sisters In Islam. Speaking harshly pushes people away from the Deen, whether you like it or not
@@MH-bf4uu how would you say the facts in the Quran and ahadith with empathy ?... bro there's nothing like harshness when one is talking about facts
@@AmeenaF19 Mashallah ....
Many Brothers who want polygyny always defend it by saying it is legislated. Why do they not argue as passionately for Muslim men to perfect all the other legislations regarding prayer, charity and uprightness? If a man feels it is his right to have another right, why would he hide it? Why don’t these defenders stress that men have to be emotionally and financially able to care for more tan one family? Polygyny was a vehicle for securing safety and security for widows & orphans. It is embarrassing for the Ummah when we often see polygamous family supported by social welfare. Often. Or the women are the ones paying the majority of the bills. These women in Tea Talk are sharing real experiences . Truth hurts but is fact
How can you assume that they don’t talk about other important matters? Just because it’s a topic you don’t like you can’t assume that’s all they talk about
@Western Liberal Ideology-leftNright-isHYPOCRITICAL replying to the other person
This is a very bad argument. People only make this argument when they have nothing to stand on. You can find a local masjid where brothers and sisters are defending those other things like prayer, you can find various charity programs also.
Can’t we just follow what Allah SWT says in the Quran about Polygamy? It seems to me it’s pretty clear.
“And if you fear that you may not be just to the orphans, then you may marry whom you please of the women, two, three, or four. But if you fear being unfair, then only one, or what your right hand possesses, for that will make it less likely that you act unfairly.” 4:3
No, we cant, because Polygamy is just blatantly worse than Monogamy??
@@slevinchannel7589 no. You're not Muslim. Gtfoh
Exactly! Thank you! God specifically said to treat them justly. It would take an incredibly righteous man to achieve this. And if the prophet did it, he was a PROPHET! All other men are not prophets.
@Ruzaini BinYusof of course. If my man was righteous, I would totally stand by him next to his other wives.
@@don313 Have all the women you want. I’m not the one who’ll be asked if I treated them JUSTLY on judgement day.
As a non-Muslim who is interested in Islam, it’s attitudes like Ali and Mohammed’s that give Islam a bad reputation to outsiders. The Western perception is that Islam treats women as second-class citizens whose feelings and wellbeing don’t matter.
These women acknowledged that polygamy is halal and simply explained how hurtful it can be when a husband goes about it in an unfair or sneaky way.
This could have been an opportunity for these two men to talk about how men can be better when approaching polygamy within their own families. Instead, they’re strawmanning at these two women as if they said that polygamy is wrong or something. In short, they are criticizing and belittling women for speaking openly about how men behaving badly can be hurtful.
Sometimes i wonder, are people watching this type of videos blinded with their ear drums closed ?
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
Islamic ruling and sharia isn't malleable or a caretaker of the feelings and emotions of individuals.. rather, it's objective morality that comes from God that we all are submitted to.
@@mohammednur6169God created human pain and suffering. He knows what causes it and how to cure it. Do u truly believe that the Allah whose prophet died warning his Ummah to be better to there women, would allow you to harm your wife like this. You are one of the Ahlul Biddah
As a sister. Bless you brothers, may your da'wah be a means of Jannah for you and everyone who helps you
Ameen ya rabb
I want to become a muslim to have four wife's and to bit them if they get out of line. devoted like the quran say.
Lol 😂🤣 Question ❓
in the quran did allah created one Eve for Adam or 4 wife's lol .👉just One 💃🕴️
Not 4 Eve muhammad said 4💃💃💃💃lol
Muhammad said you're half a brain, equal to a dog n donkey, a fuel from hell and is a satan. Mashaallah
@Dismissed Jersey! Chiffon feels very nice but it tears so easily and many chiffon hijabs are handwash-only (: jersey is much more stretchy and durable, plus it often comes in longer sizes
@Dismissed chiffon imo, but then again I've never tried jersey. Chiffon is crispy, classy, and stylish. If you get good quality one, you can machine wash it. Jersey is good for the summer.
They should interview practicing Muslim co-wives who are already in a polygynous relationship. They will have their doubts cleared.
🤣
I bet taliban prisoners would be totally honest with you if taliban allowed them to be interviewed
I haven't watched the video yet but people make such a big deal of polygynous marriages. I am the second of three wives. My husband's first wife arranged the marriage to me and I arranged the marriage of my husband to his third wife. We, the co wives love each other an never had any drama to be honest. İt can work if everyone involved is mature
@@amatullahnet5022 let us all know how that works out in 20 years👌
@@tbishop4961 keep assuming kid, you know better than your creator idiot
I don't think the definition of abuse is clear to you. A woman marrying a man her mother doesn't approve of is sad for the mother, but it's not abuse. In fact, the other way around, that is, if the daughter didn't marry the man because her mother didn't want to, THAT would be abuse.
A man finding out his wife is cheating is heartbreaking for the man, but not being able to see her being punished in public is not abuse. It would be abuse if after finding out about her affair he were forced to stay in the marriage without any possibility of divorce.
These examples are not comparable to the experiences the sisters in the video were talking about.
Bruh stop making excuses for these feminists
@Hot 🔥 stuff no
What is the right way to practice polygamy? In ur opinion then
@@mjx1159 there only one “right” way the Islamic way according to the Quran, Hadith and scholarly jurisprudence
Biggest bullshit I’ve ever read… stop commenting please
As a man, those women are correct in saying that polygamy isn’t a comfortable thing a lot of men tend to think women have a different type of heart compared to men and that is not so. Men and women feelings are the same equally.
Whenever i tell women that I have no issue with being one of multiple wives, the reactions are not very positive 🙂
I think they are scared you might get their husbands 😂
@@randomlygeneratedname7171 nah, am happily married actually AlhamduliLlah so they don’t have to worry bout that😃
@@randomlygeneratedname7171 insecurities
Because they’re afraid their men may follow your husbands approach
We live in different times sister. There’s “men” who paint their nails and wear make up. Don’t worry about anyones opinion
women aren't forced into polygamous marriages, if they don't want to get into a contract like it they can do their due diligence before marriage, or divorce the husband if he wants to marry again during their marriage and it wasn't even discussed. She cant forbid the husband from doing it but nor is she compelled to stay.
*she can't give divorce... She can ask for divorce
She can give divorce.@@md.shahadathossain8880
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
To be fair there are bad examples of polygamy as I am sure there are good examples. My maternal grandfather practised polygamy and spent most of his time in one country with his children there, yet his children and wife from another country he hardly ever saw. Indeed my late mother only saw her father three times in her entire life! He sent money for his wife and children, but he was not physically present. This was actually an injustice, not only for my maternal grandmother but also for her children. It does clearly stipulate in Islam that if you cannot do justice, then to marry only one wife. Essentially my grandmother was a single parent. Polygamy effects not only a wife, but does effect children also and not always in a good way!
The problem as you outlined is not polygamy but its misuse. A knife and monogamy and a shoe can all be used for incorrect purposes.
Btw im really sorry for your grandmother faced. That wasn’t fair.
@@centeredmuslim3436 As I've said there are good and bad examples of this. Some women and men are happy with this arrangement, (I am aware of some that are) and there doesn't need to be an honourable reason to marry a second wife, however you must treat all your wives honourably and fairly. Personally, if I was a guy I would worry about how much it would cost to have a second wife, especially because of the rising cost of living and also about my fate on the day of judgement, if I didn't do justice to both of my wives. Also I think all this heartache and distress could potentially be avoided if terms are stipulated within the marriage contract.
Just because your grandfather didn't practice polygamy right, doesn't mean polygamy as described in Islam is wrong. Wa Salamu Aleikom.
@@nadiayaqub3143 because you are not a man that is exactly why you won't understand, it's part of Allah's plan, and it's a need in a man to have more than one wife in his lifetime.
@@khaderlander2429 Not really! Not all males need to get another wife, some just want multiple wives. The prophet (saw) first marriage was a monogamous one, so it is also a sunnah to be monogamous. Not sure the point you're trying to make!
I think its an important conversation a man and a woman should consider having before getting married. Specifically what it would look like in terms of resources etc. Unfortunately, too many men who have no business taking a second wife and do not pass the basic requirements, they expect the first wife to suffer the consequences of their decisions on her household. He may take a second wife, but if he's unable to fulfil his obligations, then she has legitimate grounds to leave. It's not easy, and the burden is on the man to ensure its done smoothly and equitably. Allah SWT also advices a man to take one wife.
Your comment will soon be deleted 😂
@@Azura-adamson I hope there’s room for respectful discourse. Polygamy is an option with conditions and not the norm. There was always a reason for the prophet’s (PBUH) marriages and consideration behind it but the modern view seems to be, I want a second wife so I will regardless & anyone who challenges me about it needs to review their faith. I think that’s the type of attitude the sisters were referring to.
@@amalali504 It goes both ways. If a man has the capacity to take care of a second wife, he's automatically turned into a villain, when infact our prophet, and most of the sahabas already practiced it. This is the behaviour that Ali & Hijab were calling out, that the moment if someone utters the word polygamy, you directly start throwing words such as "spiritual abuse".
@@tanveer5655 Agree and unreasonable behaviour should be called out whether it’s the man or woman is doing it. I understand what the lady was getting at but I never like people using secular wording/logic when discussing the Deen because the wisdom behind many permissible and none permissible acts transcends it and I find the whole virtue signalling cheapens the point she’s trying to make and doesn’t further sensible discussion.
Beyond natural jealousy a woman may feel, I hope the husband is sensitive to the impact an addition would have on her world. There’s no doubt it was practiced by the salaf but I wish modern men would also emulate the spirit in which they did things, not just what they did.
@@amalali504 , yes
I just wanted to point out that when you say reverts are more accepting and practicing of polygamy, the argument can be made about their concept of "pair bonding" if you've had multiple relationships outside marriage before Islam, polygamy is an easier pill to swallow than born muslims who were taught to wait for marriage. If you saved yourself for marriage it makes sense for sisters to want monogamy. If they can only have one partner, they want the same in return.
No it does not make sense because Allah has made men polygamous in nature thats why we are allowed 4 wives. Like did you not even watch this video?
@@roxanneroxanne8061 because it was a sin. Bro/Sis, what kind of point is this🤦🏾♂️
@@roxanneroxanne8061 she was already married for God's sake🤷♂. She was his master's wife. Dont you know the story. It was a call to zinna.
Why don't you contrast his story to that of Ibrahim, Moses (acc to google) , David and Muhammad (saw) etc who had multiple wives.
Forget about the west. You will be lost if you keep comparing your way to that of the west and trying to substantiate your opinions based on theirs. We have 2 different goals. They mainly want to maximize their dunya experience, while we want to maximize our akhira experience by following the commands of Allah
It have conservative non Muslims who save themselves for marriage.
@@bestboy619 where in the Quran or Sunnah does it say men are polygamous in nature? None. Polygamy is permissible to protect women and provide for them. It was never about men's sexual desire.
A lot of the examples lack nuance. The effects of a single mother home can very well happen if a man who is juggling more than two wives, multiple children and has to provide financially,takes away from being the best husband a father to a single wife and children family unit, and all the pressure of rising god fearing children is put on the mother. The sisters clearly said they agree with polygamy, i think it would have been helpful for the two of you to speak on what men can do to make a polygamous marriage work according to the deen. It isn’t helpful for our ummah to have discussions without solutions. In terms of accepting what god has allowed, this video was very helpful, yet the issue at hand is still effecting the family unit and instead of speaking on how men and women can work together to uphold it, the tone of the video was “women need to accept polygamy even if the way its handled can very well eventually destroy the family unit. Which is sacred. Just because men are polygamous by nature doesn’t mean every man can handle it properly. Weighing the pros and cons and if the two who are married are honest and the man sees that his first wife may not be able to deal with the polygamy ( which isn’t an excuse for it not to happen and is on her to gain the strength and Iman to hold the family unit together) then he also is putting the family unit at risk. Polygamy isn’t mandatory for this very reason.
Exactly Hijab's take on this was not on a good faith
Bringing the children's emotions and trying to draw a correlation between that and Polygyny gone wrong? Children will still feel upset even if Polygyny was done right. Children can also feel upset of their parents have to leave for work, or even in examples of charity or aid workers who leave to go to different countries. Another example is the Sahaba, who used to leave for years to go for Jihad. Some even had to go give dawah and leave their families, and we even still have people leaving their children for months even years on end to go give Dawah. So life is full of twists and Polygyny isn't the only case where children can experience the emotional upset of not having their parent around from time to time. Allah is the best of planners.
and then imagine calling the second wife , "a sister with low standards" as the Somali sister put it. imagine that?! and if we are to go with their narrative that the husband kept it a secret, is the second wife really to blame? so really she's calling all the sisters who are 2nd, 3rd, 4th wives home wreckers / "sisters with low standards"
Subhan Allah..🤦🏾♂
Absolutely! You hit the nail on the head sister
You need evidence to support your claim on negative effects of children when having multiple wives, unlike them, you have no evidence to support this.
The sisters didn’t say anything wrong??? They gave good advice???
Did you watch the whole thing??!
@@themadakh3229 yes, did you?… if you did, did you truly understand the sisters video?
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
It gives me so much hope that the comments are so understanding and correcting of the wrong approach of this video. On the other hand it is appalling how little understanding is in this video
Watch her video about mahr. "Its my right" "girls ask for the highest mahr" "if u cant afford that your a broke mandem".
Same back to her: its a mans right to marry 4 wives.
Her: omg "the god card" "spiritual abuse" "omg bullying".
Agreed!
It comes down to, yes to polygamy "but".. theres allways the verbal judo, so many detractors here, but none of them are telling what the proper way of the act of polygamy should be.. still waiting.. crickets.
@@ceoofgreenheartinvestmentf173 Read the Quran and Sunnah to find out, why are you searching for fiqhi knowledge in RUclips comments? Ridiculous…
Agreeeeed
I'm a woman I see all the benefits of polygamy and yet its so hard to want to practice it! May Allah make it easy on us.
I’d say, prepare for the idea, and look at it from a realistic, religious and positive perspective. So many women refuse to submit to this idea, and get surprised with a second wife and then they crumble lose their minds.
@@Eastonwest71 you have to also take into account culture, if you haven't been raised in it, it's difficult you're not used to it. For me I've personally have prepared for it, it may or may not happen. Its a test from Allah. We're all tested, including men! But women think only were tested and the world revolves around our emotions. The way I see if you have a good husband then stay patient with him, if not then irs something you have to weigh out pros or cons. Life isn't a bd of roses.
@@Onajourney519 I strong agree. The health of the Culture/society/community makes a big difference. Culture, lack of religious knowledge, plus the world is more connected now with the internet making it easier to spread all kinds of toxic believes and behaviors to both men and women and even children. Testing times indeed. May Allah make it easier on us all.
@@Eastonwest71 you need to also prepare for the grave consequences of missing someone’s rights in it. And also women have a right to say that they don’t want to practice it coming into the marriage and if it happens and she wasn’t prepared then her leaving is not a big deal since it’s the mans fault and he ends up with one wife again so in that sense the benefit becomes questionable
But... alLah is the best of deceivers?
Maybe when sisters talk about poly they should have a panel with sisters (especially older aunties) that are in polygamous marriages from different cultures, Arab, African and Asian backgrounds that way you get a more accurate understanding of what it is like.
that can't happen, mostly losers(or people looking for attention) come on the internet and participate in such things , and those women are few of the most secsessful in the world they usually if not all have like 10 or more offspring from chilldren to grandchildren that they care for on regular bases and they'r husbens if not dead are still around soo they gotta care for them too, my grandmother is such a women and i really think she doesn't have the time or desire to even talk about it xD
@@LidanLive #LetGrandmaRest . Mayb she can write a book
Coming from an environment repleted with feministic, secular, liberal ideas this is what we get. Sisters are inclining towards feministic narrative on polygamy sub consciously.
thats not relevant. their opinions are only helpful in the sense of how to deal with it. which is not the subject. their opinions are irrelevant just like the opinion of every human. allah has decreed something, so the only ones on the panel should be scholars answering their foolish concerns, and NOT other logically vacuous females (regardless if they agree or disagree is also irrelevant)
lol women sit with women all day everyday you think they will be honest about what they feel in public? certainly the older ladies?
okey i get brother Ali, there is no "nice and good way" to do polygamy because of course the wife is always going to feel some type of way about it. I understand what he is trying to say. BUT there is a better way to do it than after 10 years of marriage with kids doing it behind her back. I'd say just be honest from the get go, during the engagement period be true to her and yourself so that she will know what she is getting into. If you intend to marry a second or third just be honest about it and don't lie to us. If you just marry one behind her back without ever really talking about polygamy with her she will feel useless and disresepcted. - that is my personal advice as a sister.😊
Hello sister, thanks for your thoughtful comment. But I have a thing to say here which is that this is already a man's right he shouldn't be in need of stating the obvious. It's like a man saying to his fiancé "Hey look, I'm gonna be completely honest! When we get married, I wanna have sex with you"! *Inset meme "Oh my god, wooow!"
So the point is, this is deen, take it or leave it. A man should be strong and firm and should come and tell his wife I'm going to marry another woman and this has nothing to do with you. The wife has all the right to either accept or not. Sometimes the wife is completely dependent on the husband that she has no other way but agreeing. He then has to crown her patience with extra love and care. This is what we should be teaching.
@@kamalaittah485 but I don't think intercourse in the marriage and marrying a second wife can be compared. Because one of these two topics is sth that is emotionally very difficult for the women. Yes it is your right given by Allah swt., but that doesn't mean you should be insensitive. What are you going to lose if you are honest and compassionate towards her and try to put yourself in her situation. A lot of women want to pursue a family within a monogamous relationship which is why we have the option to write in the nikah contract that we don't want him to take a 2nd wife, therefore Allah swt knew it is not an easy thing for every women which is why we have been give this option.
@@szsa1926 It's actually insensitive to approach a girl for marriage and tell her "BTW, I'm going to marry on you sometime down the road". I mean what would be your reaction then? I don't see how this is applicable at all
@@kamalaittah485 it's called honesty
@@kamalaittah485 the woman should be straightforwad and say what she wants, ideally just ask the man if he's interested in a polygamous relationship and then man should answer truthfully
Why did they divert from the topic and pose examples that have no relation to what to what the sisters are talking about. These men just don’t want to talk about how men can abuse parts of Islam for their own gain regardless of how the marriage/family is affected.
So you wouldn't say a husband who KNOWS his wife's gonna be heartbroken is selfish?
You call it "his nature", but at the same time care little for woman's nature. Your "nature" are merely desires. How about men try and practice retaining those desires?
Just something to think about.
Why should the men be forced to retain those desires all their life because otherwise itl upset the feelings of a woman. Ridiculous.
Exactly
@@hn1695 do you not think a woman may also become bored of her husband, fancy a fresh face, both sexes have to practice some sort of restraint else they would be no marriage
@@sarahm4516 women are different to men. Women don't desire multiple men and can love one man. This is their nature and our nature is different. It's how God made us unless you're a feminist operating from a false premise assuming we are all equal and exactly the same.
@@hn1695 we are equal in the sight of Allah swt, and the best one is the best in deed not gender.
Not every household is built on love and a polygamous relationship does not necessitate love, i.e a man who has four wives does not evidence his ability to 'love more' merely by having multiple wives.
Marriage as a construct would not allow women to be intimate with multiple men without serious negative consequences, which anyone of rational mind can agree would occur, however this doesn't evidence that women are incapable of loving more then one man, how many widows who remarried speak so fondly of their ex husbands, that it is clear their hearts still hold them dear, whilst also speaking fondly of their current husbands until they are clear that they also hold their current husbands in their hearts!
Just because Pologamy is not appropriate for a woman, this doesn't evidence that a woman must therefore have no ability to desire more then one intimate partner!!!! it means she must content herself with only one for the greater good as marriage as an institution would mean for her harm if she had more then one husband.
who said anything about love? the quran mentions spouses finding tranquillity in one another not love, love is not under a man or a woman's control, love can be defined as an intense and deep affection for a person, if this is the case, how many marriages are loveless on both the part of the man and the woman, this does not mean these marriages are not sucessfull.
Do not be one of those who think marriage is a disney movie, and all love and rainbows, its a contact between a man and a woman, love may come, but it may not also.
I feel like you misunderstood the first point. It seems more like the sister was talking about brothers who are threatening their current wife with taking a second wife, which some sisters may feel like is spiritual abuse.
(Not saying i agree with the point)
There needs to be some empathy and sympathy from both sides. We need to not only recognize those feelings are there but also talk through them.
Lol, Islam is a mandate not an option based on feelings
I repeat we need not only recognize those feelings are there but ALSO TALK THROUGH THEM. That’s like somone coming and telling you that their grandma died of cancer and they’re really sad. Then you precede to tell them don’t be so emotional my mom died of cancer Allah tests us all. Instead of you guys talking it through together and unpacking those feelings. Especially if you can relate because you too probably need to unpack some things. Studies show people who suppress or avoid their emotions can have huge interpersonal challenges.
This 2 are so stupid to have empathy
@@1986Faruq oh really? They why there tons of disagreements between deferent madhabs?? It isn't about how some scholars felt?
@@iman7j887 no, its about evidence... those women, not only are they not qualified to have an opinion, but the reality is that they are a danger to themselves and others with such remarks...
Until the normal, everyday Muslims realise that their entire existence after death is affected by their intentions, words and actions, and that their own feelings and opinions are detrimental to their salvation when in opposition to Islam, untill that day, you will have foolish people like those above, speaking about the religion like its a fashion choice...
I watched half of this episode and stopped and went back to the video they are reacting to. And from my point of view these brothers have misunderstood the whole message that our sisters are trying to point out.
With out understanding the message our bothers here are jumping into conclusions.
One thing that I realised is that this message or this discussion that our sisters are having are from a women's point of view and no matter how much a man tries to understanding the woman's point of view he will fail it needs a man and a half to understand a woman.
I'm sorry to say is that this video was very dramatic and very misleading in many ways I hope that the topic of polygamy is brought up again and rather then reacting maybe try and understand how polygamy should be carried out and also understand that every woman has a right to react to this change to her life. I will continue to watch this video for the sake of hearing both sides of this but our brothers have to do better. May Allah bless and help us all.
Edit I'm trying to understand our brothers but this is very disturbing
Agreed. I’ve watched both videos and in my humble opinion these two have completely not only missed what the sisters where trying to convey but, to top it off, where extremely rude and condescending in their tone. Calling these women selfish with an ego when they are literally talking about a very valid topic and are allowed to speak on issues that concern women. I honestly could not agree more with them. Polygamy is halal but the way men do it nowadays is absolutely messy and should be heavily criticised because it’s against the way our religion said to do it.
@@wtfisthisshizz very true. Its because this topic involves a man's actions it seems that there are getting too possessive and clearly can't understand what the sisters were actually talking about. They seemed to get emotional where one of them actually says 'shut up' multiple times directing it to women. It's sad that although it seems this video has had backlash these brothers don't see that the argument and inappropriate behaviour towards the sisters gives of a bad image and a bad influence to those who take them as role models
@@wtfisthisshizz against the religion? Or against your own thoughts please differentiatie. Feminism is ruining our beautiful religion
Thank you!, I have watched the sisters too, and these brothers just decided to be more dramatic, (toooo many) comments under this comment section lack so much understanding/empathy, and this video lacks understanding and empathy too
@@ninass8119 it is sad that muslim women are looked down upon by muslim men. It is heart breaking and sad to see that our sisters not only have to worry about non muslim men harassing her but also from her own community
The sister's statement that "Islamically says so but morally" made sense to me because I come from a polygamous community. Nevertheless, the sisters mean Islamically speaking, polygamy is permissible, however many people lack the moral maturity to engage in polygamous partnerships. When done properly, polygamy is beautiful, perhaps even more so than monogamy because there will be two or more times as much love. Despite the fact that, unlike most monogamous marriages, polygamy, in general, can be more detrimental if not handled properly. I can't even begin to count the amount of suffering I have witnessed sisters endure throughout the marriage (some brought on by themselves, by meddlesome inlaws, by co-wives, or husband), unlike brothers who don't truly understand the gravity of their actions until they are in their 40s or 70s and have seen the results in the lives of their children. who are no longer infants or young adolescents. Favoritism hierarchy in polygamous relationships, which affects both spouses and children, is a frequent example. As a result, one wife(+kids) experiences fewer provisions and spends less time with the other women and the kids. creates a lot of hatred and envy in the kids as they get older. I've also noticed that Muslim men from the west conceal their marriages, which results in the children not even having their last names. They also make their spouses appear to society as girlfriends, single mothers, baby mothers, or widows. Multiple sins, broken hearts, and loss of self-respect. These cases which are common are unIslamic. I would NOT recommend polygamy for the masses, I truly don't want brothers to sin that deeply because the reality of taking care of that many women/ kids without being a capable man can easily lead to destroying multiple family units.
I agree, muslim men nowadays is lack of maturity, very weak. I think this happen because we used liberal or secular education system 🤷
ThAnk you.I don’t think they understood this sisters prospectivas, they mainly talking about men now a days and society not the religion itself..
@@fadzufashiontalk9081 girl they went so off track it’s embarrassing
"many people lack the moral maturity to engage in polygamous partnerships."
based on what evidence? morally what? it all sounds like being against islamically
Flowlikewater almost gaslighting innit? I am not femenist at all and I believe in Islam and all, and I am not those women who really thing God made a mistake by allowing men to marry more than one women. But☝🏽 I am not blinded by now a days men do to women with polígamy, is not the same as how our fathers use to deal with it, and I am talking about men in the western world. Dealing with poligamy from a man raced in the west is different than men who where raced in other parts of the world. We can’t deny that if u don’t have the knowledge of poligamy, you don’t have the means to sustain it, or the maturity to deal with plus with wester rules of marriage.. is a caos.. the example they r putting about your Mather not liking ur partner nd stuff is nothing to do with what she is talking about.. spiritual abuse, she ment men using religion as a weapon and Muslim society pointing u if u feel sad tht ur husband married.. we are not allowed to feel because religion said is allowed when truly u are more sad because u know how much u held down for this man, and how much u fight for ur relationship despite him not complay with his obligation and a men, to turn around and marry when u know he won’t be able to handle two women let alone two household. Thts why some women are sad, not because of religion. They already predict their future and the future of their kids nd no body sees it or support u or try to advice him tht is not the right move. It’s sunna for god sake is not an obligation!!!!!! Learn to be a men and take care one wife then u can look for the next..
I liked how Br Hijab spoke about the emotions that parents go through when it comes to mixed race marriages. I say the same thing because I married outside my race. Then my husband got a second wife. And I saw how Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aala taught me things are halal but can hurt. I should have understood more where my parents were coming from. Alhamdulillah for everything. You live and learn.
😢🤗😭
I don’t understand can you explain? Your parents said not to marry a different culture because they’d get another wife?
Foolish as race is a social construct created to justify things like eugenics, it takes less than 5 minutes to find this out with simple research, please dont blame a 'race' but blame the person
There's nothing wrong with marrying a different race or your husband getting a second wife. Why are u commenting as if by getting a 2nd wife your husband did some kind of sin which proved your parents right? It isn't a negative thing. One might even find waking up for fajr uncomfortable, doesn't make it wrong
@@dinero187 what? This is a rather extreme take. While we shouldn’t say there’s superiority of races over others or that a person can never marry a specific race or outside of their own race. Saying, race causes eugenics is an exaggeration. Some people have preferences, like some dudes like Asians, and some traditional families want a person within their culture. It’s not wrong to have this by itself, it’s only when you don’t allow the alternative that it becomes oppressive. Studies even show, that people have the capacity to discern the features of people within their culture more easily, whereas people from other cultures look the same to them. It’s why some people might say, all Asians look similar. Our eyes and brains adjust to the type of people we are around most. So to outright deny race is foolish. Sure we can show that in different places and times, black has meant something different and whatnot. And I know in sociology they push this race is a construct, gender is a construct stuff, but your race is a legit thing bro. If race was a construct, a white woman could say she’s black
Our beloved prophet Rasoollullah s.a.w has shown us 2 perfect models, of monogamy and polygamy. Monogamy in his youth until our beloved mother Khadeejah R.A. passed away, and polygamy later in life with all mothers who had been previously married apart from Hazrat Aisha R.A. A beautiful balance had been shown by our beloved Rasoollullah s.a.w to follow. Monogamy works better for some and polygamy for others. Allah guide us all
The problem however is, when people claim the prophet only practiced polygyny to help out the women, basically a completely altruistic marriage. And that’s not the reality. We all know that the prophet on some point almost divorced everyone of his wifes because the asked him too much in terms of leverage and sometimes avoided intimacy during daytime.
And the prophet ﷺ himself said “From the Dunya women and parfume have been made beloved to me”. And he was intimate with his wifes. And he is as about to divorce his wife Sawda, may Allah be pleased with her. She was around the age of eighty. She said to the prophet that she will give her day to Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, and was content with only being married to the prophet ﷺ.
The prophet was a human being and showed us how to behave as a Muslim. If he wouldn’t have these needs and desires human had, how could he be an example for us?!
Men are polygamous by nature. If he loves his wife and desires her, it doesn’t mean he won’t desire other women. Men and women are completely different in desire towards the other gender and completely different in pair bonding. The issue is that many women, especially nowadays, assume men are just the way they are. And they shame men for being polygamous. They shame men for having desire and seeking marriage to a second wife because of desire. Even Muslim women. And they completely disregard that the prophet ﷺ practiced polygyny. And many of the companions practiced it as well. And it was common among the Salaf. And they had concubines from enslaved women of in war defeated disbelievers.
And the great scholar Saeed bin Jubair has been asked by the companion Ibn Abbas once if he was married. Saeed replied that is still not married. And Ibn Abbas said to him:” So go and marry because the best amongst this nation are those with more women”.
Of course a man has to be financially and mentally able to manage polygyny. But I think the reason why it is too hard for most men is that lifestyle has been centralized. The income is somehow limited and women ask for too much relatively speaking compared to the old times. And men have too less to do. And women are focusing too much on their husbands instead of doing useful things during the absence of the husband. It’s really a mess. I’ve seen it especially with women. They talk too much about their husbands.
@UCrCEszoQFzItmBFmBpyaz1w He didn’t marry his daughter in law. The so called daughter in law was the wife of a man he adopted when he was a child. Adoption had been mad impermissible in Islam. And the reason why he married her is to show that there’s not an issue with marrying the ex wife of the adopted son, because he is not the son.
And it was common during that time to marry at a very young age. Even in Europe two hundred years ago. Just because you think it is wrong means it is actually wrong. And you lack the moral base to call it wrong.
Yah but today men marry more than one woman because of status,money and ego. It’s like when they have more money something clicks I CAN HAVE MORE, MORE WOMEN! It’s disgusting and a stain on our religion how men abuse this practice. It’s funny cuz the older men marry much younger attractive women. Not like the prophet who married , olde, barren, widowed women.
@@MAbuRowais women ask for to much? How about men try to work on themselves before blaming all their problems on the opposite gender. It’s so disgusting how men have lowered the bar in on what a man really is. Our fathers and grandfathers never practiced polygamy the way these guys are today. I’m glad the divorce rate is up because it makes sense when a marriage has a weak foundation it doesn’t last. If men are missing something in the marriage they should seek counseling and work with their spouse on the problem. Maybe fast more if your a hornball with dog mentality. Men marry to satisfy their own urges similar to homosexual ppl. It’s to satisfy that itch that comes with having more money, and maybe a midlife crisis. I would never support polygamy because I wouldn’t want it for myself. In todays society it doesn’t fit the bill. It’s a loophole. You will never be equal you will never be able to revise for all the Sam things and I’m not talking about materialism I’m talking about the simple things like attention, a smile a joke companionship that is exactly the same. And what about the kids ong talk about the example being made to the kids. Most kids that come from polygamy prefer monogamy because they witness how their moms sadness and loneliness. You need to be around your kids, marriage isn’t just for sex it’s for family. Once you have kids they should only be your focus. Not fkin around because you got more money, and switching out ladies basically making baby mamas as we call them in the states. Child support is real and thank god for the courts that protect the first spouse.
@@MAbuRowais brother, this had more to do with cultural and opportunity than genetics. There are tribes in the Amazon and in Africa that practice polyandry, live a communal life, and somehow pull it off. We studied this in first semester anthropology class. Yes, it is true that men in general are polygamous but that is based on their environment, not genetics
When they talked about betrayal they were talking in the case when he promised her (gave his word to her) that she would be the only one but he ended doing it behind her back. And the trauma it’s real because you ended up thinking your not enough for your husband so you start developing self esteem issues. The same would be if your beloved akhi promised something to you and ended up breaking his promise. This is what happens when the second marriage it’s not done with good intentions and consideration. I always enjoyed watching your videos about a lot of issues but this time I think you missed a great characteristic in our deen: empathy. May Allah guide us to the right path. Amen.
Either way:
I agree. I don’t think these women were bashing the practice of polygamy. They were simply expressing how women might feel when deception is brought into this realm and that women truly experience emotional trauma and need professional help in some circumstances and sometimes the ummah fails to take the women’s side into account. What i see in this video is cherry picking speech to make these women look as feminist as possible. However, i do wish that honest tea talk had included someone who had experienced polygamy firsthand to even the viewpoint.
@@annamalinowski608 the ummah always fails to see womens side because its dominated by the males and male arrogance like these two.
"No one suffers like the faithful muslim women"
This quote is Truth.
It better be worth it sister.
@@peaceofmind1582 yeah, does my head in to be honest. As soon as women get together in a safe space to talk about issues that concern us, we are branded as 'verging on kufr'. I think what they said about struggling with Allah's will is natural because not everything that is decreed is easy to swallow and that's completely fine to acknowledge and talk about in the open. We should be able to talk about genuine emotions without being branded as a feminist. Feel like it got to a level of dangerous judgment from our brothers here and a complete lack of empathy and understanding. Sorry for the rant 😭 video got to me haha. I think if we just approached eachother with a more respectful attitude willing to learn from each others qualms, the takeaway would be so much more beneficial than this 'brothers Vs sisters on polygamy'. Having said that I did agree with the brothers on some points, just the overall tone of Ali Dawah I cannot support. No subtlety for sure.
@@annamalinowski608 from a guy the issue let me highlight what I saw wrong with the honest tea talk ( respectfully)
1. They made an entire talk about something in Islam without 1 verse or hadith or even an incident from the time of the prophet saw or sahaba. hence we can conclude they are not coming from an Islamic view . their points it may be extreme to call them feminist but if Islam is not the foundation of such a discourse its quite problematic
2. they used a lot of harmful words in their discourse about a matter Allah allowed upon men
3. They gave their feelings but never talked about how a man should approach polygamy
4. They failed to look at the male perspective on similar matters as men have more responsibilities in the house and community but we can't dare tag it as "spiritual abuse" so same for this issue calling something Allah gave to men as spiritual abuse is "verging on kuffur"
"empathy" is not a case here because it goes both ways I would say women should have more empathy for men not removing the difficulty of accepting polygamy but they are so many difficult tasks that men must engage in but we don't receive such empathy, do we?
"safe space" should not be a place that has no foundation in Islam should be taken from. the brothers are right to call them out although their mannerisms may not be the best
and lastly, had she given examples from the life of prophet saw or sahaba on how to handle it that would be the way to go but to just say she gets a divorce is insensitive and just bad advise as someone in a polygamous family if this happened I don't even know where I would be today
Here's the correct way to do polygyny:
1. Before getting married to your first wife tell her that you intend to practice polygyny.
2. When you are getting married to your other wives, let everyone know that you are getting married to another wife. Be open and do not lie and be deceitful. I don't know how a Muslim man can maintain another marraige whilst LYING to his wives about where he is, where his finances are going etc. Hiding other marriages encourages these men to lie which is haram in Islam.
3. Be fair to all of your wives and treat them equally.
If a woman says before marriage that she doesn't want to participate in polygyny and you force that on her that is wrong. She has the right to end the marriage because it causes psychological distress. Not every woman can handle it.
Beta
1. why should he tell her before when she could just expect all men to be polygamous, and just accept that it might happen.
2. a man dont need to tell his wife that he married another wife, if he wishes to do so, thats on him, but its not obligatory.
3. agree.
@@vortexlight8387 it is crazy how men think that they can keep it a secret forever. Let me give you an example.
If the wives have children the man will have to introduce his kids to each other at some point. Isn't it worse for the wives to find out at that point rather than just being honest from the beginning.
Another example is finances. A wife will know how much her husband makes. When it comes to spending she will see that some money is going elsewhere. You can't hide that.
There are so many other examples I can give you. All of this will cause friction between them and will eventually lead to the marriage breaking down. Always best to be honest from day 1. No one is saying that having multiple wives is haram
@@Sarah-pq9dm firstly, it dsnt have be "lying" or "secretive" he can just never mention it.
If a women is jelous on her man, its kufr so why would she break the marrige down for something he has a right in? Its like saying "if a husband finds out that his wife dsnt work and bring money, he might divorce her" why would he divorce her when its her right not to work and bring money in.
@@vortexlight8387 no you can't compare a woman getting a job to a man getting married in secret. And yes it is lying because when he is courting these other women and meeting up with their families to ask for their hands in marraige, having multiple weddings behind your wife's back? How is that not lying? What is he going to say when he's been gone for a couple of days or comes home late? He will have to lie. Lying is never good. Just get a wife that doesn't mind practicing polygyny bro
perhaps we should also talk about what constitutes just treatment to all spouses in polygamy. educate muslim men on what are the terms which are laid out in the quran and sunnah. also some interviews with muslim men who are successful in his polygamous marriage and what it actually takes to be in one. in today's context, it may not be as straight forward
Too Muslim marriages have become like the shia practice with no real efforts made to solve problems before pronouncing talaq. This is happening a lot. Too many women are living in fear of talaq and poverty and just put up with abuse. This is the other side that has no real remedy or solution because it is constantly dismissed and blamed on the women. There are thousands of such stories. This is why it's important for daughters to have a good education in this life and strong Islamic knowledge of their rights to their own wealth and inheritance.
We should also realise that Allah does not recommend polygamy infact Allah recommends marrying a single woman in Qur'an, that is better.
thats clearly not the issue here genius. ugh it breaks my heart when even men start speaking with female logic (void of it). focus on the topic dont be a school boy.
@@ziephk the way you respond is so mature! Keep it up.
Also I believe almost all men cannot treat all wives equally... it's extremely difficult to do this especially knowing how sensitive women can be. You need to be highly emotionally intelligent to deal with multiple wives and treat them equally and unfortunately the large majority of men lack this🤷♀
And who said women should be treated equally? That doesn't mean everyone wont be treated fairly. If one of my wife goes to gym and want me to go with her, should i insist that the second wife should come along just so it can be equal? Polygamy is a different system of marriage, don't bring equality into it.
@@jeffreyagu2221 Not sure if you're Muslim but according to Islam and the Quran, a man can only marry up to four wives if he can treat all of his wives equally or provides equal treatment. For this reason, I will still continue to talk about equality whether you like it or not.
''If one of my wife goes to gym and want me to go with her, should i insist that the second wife should come along just so it can be equal? ''
No, it doesn't mean you also need to bring your second wife to the gym (especially if she doesn't enjoy working out) but you should know how to spend quality of time with each wife equally. What's most important is providing equal attention, affection, love, care, respect, time, support and commitment.
@@zraj3433 Then equality should be replaced with fairness...
@@jeffreyagu2221 this is a no brainer question. If the 2nd wife doesn’t like the gym but likes tennis instead and wants you to join her another day, then just do that. 1st wife likes gym and you go with her. Simple.
Assuming 1st wife also agreed that you can re-marry, I am pretty sure the discussion on how you would handle spending time with your second time will also be brought up. Having multiple wives is a large responsibility and everything should be discussed beforehand until you’re both sure enough to proceed with it.
No brainer, literally.
@@zraj3433 That's Completely wrong, it doesn't say you have to treat then fairly or with justice, it says "if you FEAR" then marry only one, the quran then goes on to say that you can never treat wives equally even if you had the best intention, almost as a reply to those men that fear of causing injustice or not being fair.
Brothers, she was talking about having option to not stay in polygamy and that there should not be any pressure for them to stay in a situation which is too difficult for them- and that a person should not use the ‘god card’ as in force her to stay in or judge her for wanting to leave- do you not get that? No one says it is wrong- but not for anyone- you are looking at it as roborts
A lot of sisters have either witnessed or heard about how brothers have abused polygamy and left their wives feeling horrible. Brothers are quick to justify and defend instead of listening and understanding where the sisters are coming from. It's been normalized for brothers to have second wives when their first wife is already struggling in the marriage. Polygamy is halal and can be beautiful when it's done in the right way. Spiritual abuse is a real thing in the Muslim community and something that has to be discussed more.
What do you expect from these 2 wahabis?
Do you have studies that nowadays it's been normalised to marry a second wife when their first wife is struggling?
And struggling with what? What is the struggle that a woman can get by her husband having another wife?
What’s the right way??
@@Odignridk struggling with the finance, struggling with the kids, struggling with mental health, struggling with balancing the work life and home life. I don't need to have a studie, I can see it in my environment. Like I mentioned previously, by you being defensive and combative shows that there is something underlying. This is not a character trait of a Muslim man, ignoring the struggles of sisters. You do know that there are people who have been treated poorly in polygamy? This is not an unusual thing, you need to be more open minded and look around.
@@khaliifr3696 Treating both wives fairly and giving both wives their rights. Not neglecting either of the houses and making sure that both families are in a safe environment. Is this so hard to obtain?
I have never heard a case where the children blamed their mother for divorcing their father because their father decided on his own to bring in another wife into the picture without their mother's consent. Even if there was such a case it is not the norm among children that come from divorced families
Men talking about the suffering of polygamy is funny
This is just my opinion and other Muslim sisters might have other suggestions:
1. If you are a man that WANTS to or ENVISIONS to practice polygamy in the future, HAVE THAT CONVERSATION WITH THE WOMAN YOU INTEND TO MARRY BEFORE MARRYING HER. If she is agreeable to such a lifestyle, she can go ahead and marry you knowing there is a possibility that she may have to experience this.
2. Say you are already married and you DIDNT discuss the above with your current wife before marrying her but NOW you want to marry again. The most decent thing to do is to HAVE a conversation with her about it and say that is your intention. Expect that this will rock her world as it’s just sprung on her. Know that this is a major lifestyle decision for her and so you should know this will not go over easily with her. Tell her that you will give her some time to think about it and how she feels about going into a cowhide situation. Either she will have a hard time accepting it but will actually accept it, or she will say she needs a divorce because she can’t do that. If she wants a divorce, make the process as easy for you both as possible. If kids are involved then explain to her that you plan to do your part to support your children in their growth and that you wish to be an active and positive part of the children’s lives as having a good father is important for the children.
3. If you didn’t do 1 or 2 above and you gave gone ahead and married without informing your wife, that is very shameful. There is no secret marriage in Islam! Also, in any transaction, you have to be honest in your dealings. If you fear that you will lose your first wife hence you secretly marry a second wife, that’s like selling a good to a customer knowing it’s defective but without telling them of the defect. If you need to share your self with another human being now outside of your wife, the math isn’t adding up to say you will give her 100%. At best when you are going to be able to provide is 100% of 50%. So you have to be clear with her that you are not able to provide more than 50% from now on as you need to provide another wife the other 50% and that goes does to 25% per wife/family if a man is married to 4 wives. So please do not justify ‘secret’ marriage as a valid marriage. It’s not!
Why does Muhammad Hijab keep quoting and referencing secular books but it was a crime for the sisters to mention therapy?! Hypocritical!
Salam sister,
Firstly, they did not say it was “a crime” to get therapy. They stated that it is not ideal to get advice from a non-Islamic source when Islam has all the answers.
Secondly, they did not “attack” the sisters for their feelings or emotions about the matter, but they directed their focus on the sister’s lack of application Islamic rulings in their scenario and their disregard and dissatisfaction with the Islamic solutions provided.
Thirdly, their Islamic knowledge is not required to be updated. The Islamic rulings mentioned in the Quran and Hadith are applied by these brothers but disregarded by the sisters in the video.
They did not make this video to attack the sisters, they only made it to point out the severe mistakes the sisters mentioned, that could be detrimental to the lives of their Muslim audience.
Lastly, the comment involving “moving on to another model” is their impersonation of Donald trump and does not reflect their personal views. I highly recommend you watch the entire video before commenting. Thank you very much.
The counter to this argument is that, some people are open to polygamous relationships than others. In modern times, communication is important. No one, man or woman should be forced to stay with someone that wants to lead a polygamous lifestyle in times where polygamy doesn't involve "helping another struggling woman and her children" but rather a pursuit of one's own "nature".
The sisters might be painting things in a negative light, but I believe they are talking about very specific instances where the women that never wanted to be in a polygynous relationship, end up being forced into one without them knowing or them having a choice out of the relationship. There is emotional manipulation going on there by the man and that's something that needs to be addressed, because lets be honest, not everyone that practices polygamy cares about the feeling of others.
Well said
1. “Some people are open to polygamous relationships than others”. No women really wants his husband to get married. Some women just obey the command of Allah SWT, which is that it is a right of a man to get married more than once.
2. Your point about no one should stay in polygamous marriage, only if the second wife has an disadvantage in life is not correct. She doesn’t have to be widow, can’t get pregnant, divorcee, she can just be a normal girl. Also, it’s not a grounds for divorce if you have a second wife. Im not saying this. Ask your local imam who has probably studied 10+ years.
At the end of the day women have to accept it.
@@Faithfulresonance1 Your Point 1 is ironic because most men seem to not want to get married and most women do. This is the first time I've ever heard of this point be used when talking about the nature of people wanting to be polygamous or monogamous. IF you can accept that people are born with their sexuality and don't just choose to one day become gay, then you can accept that some are monogamous by nature.
As for point 2, I have to reiterate, in MODERN times, polygyny is done mainly for personal desires, either of the man's or his would-be wives. The 1st wife is not always involved in this decision making or even has a choice and that's a moral problem. So for you to say "women have to accept it", is strange because women can easily turn around and "support" multiple guys through marriage and it would be just as fair for men to have to "accept it". Guys that respond this way are just using religion as an excuse to emotionally manipulate women and fulfill their own desires; and the women in such situations should have every right to stand their ground and take action (if that means divorce, so be it).
For an easier example, we can use the hypothetical given in this exact video; just because a woman can sleep with another man who is not her husband and the husband can't take any action, doesn't mean it makes it any less morally wrong. Similarly, just because a man can force polygyny on his wife without her consent and not face any retribution, doesn't mean that it isn't any less morally wrong either. Get the picture?
Louder!!!!
@@Faithfulresonance1 no they don’t! They have a right to leave if they want to! And men gotta gotta accept that at the end of the day!
Thank you for making this video! I am a sister and my husband married again Alhamdulillah. Of course it was difficult emotionally - what made it WORSE though is other sisters asking me if I have “considered divorce” when I told them I was struggling emotionally.
I may have been upset (naturally) but who said I wanted a divorce? What a dangerous statement to make to a sister who is feeling low.
My husband and I are now closer than ever by the way and just had another child Alhamdulillah may Allah protect us.
I am so glad I ignored the sisters’ comments.
To add to my comment: of course it feels heartbreaking and I acknowledge this but what would be useful from sisters is advice on how to deal with emotions and STAY in the marriage after your husband breaks the news.
May Allah reward you immensely my sister
May Allah give me someone like yourself my sisterrrr ameeeen please say suma ameeen ;''')
@@selfdevelopmentseeker5718 how are other women meant to advise you if they themselves wouldn't make the decision you've made? They only tried to provide what they saw as a solution because maybe that's what they'd do. Not sure why your husband breaks your heart and other women are expected to pick up the pieces.
@@selfdevelopmentseeker5718 Unfortunately sisters like you are increasingly rare, i hope you get rewarded accordingly by our Creator The Most High.
18:30: "Defend the rights of 2nd, 3rd and 4th wife who in non-muslim or muslims who do it the wrong way and have side chicks/gf etc. Allah stipulated if a man wants to go and do THAT, he does it in the right way by honoring her." And that's where you lose the reasoning behind why polygamy was allowed. It was to avoid mistreatment of orphan, servant girls by putting her at the same level as his wife. You've twisted the reasoning to be that its simply because men are lustful and they need to satiate their lust, completely disregarding the conditions necessary. This here is why women have indeed suffered the treatment of men in the past.
Someone please correct me if im wrong but isn't polygamy not allowed unless you meet certain criteria like being just, etc which needs to be expanded on exactly what being just means? If a wife of a husband is feeling disheartened by the idea of another wife how can the husband ignore this and get another wife while knowing his wifes love may be affected? How can he then be just? He obviously may prefer one over the other.
As a brother, I don't think these brothers have spoken about the topic in a fair way. What im seeing from this video and from videos in the past is completely disregarding the feelings of the woman. How is this just? When Allah said one of the criteria is being just? And if you cant be then marry only one.
I can go on I think this is an area these brothers are lacking in showing sympathy and understanding of woman feelings because polygamy is allowed however disregarding there is actually criteria we as men have to meet otherwise Allah has said marry only one.
So my question to Hijab and Ali is why arent they talking about this? About the criteria mentioned from Allah? About when its not allowed bc the man cant meet the criteria? As if we can just decide to marry 4 from our own whims without any standards set by Allah, bc Allah allows so. This is like the topic of being allowed to eat pork on very strict exceptions. Not just when you feel like it. Isnt the ruling on polygamy the same not just bc there is a rule that allows it but a standard Allah has set that a man must meet, and when its not problems can happen like in this video.
Im not happy with these brothers because you claim to at the start of the video to wanting to respond sincerely and in a caring manner however all I saw is undermining there feelings as if its not valid, bc u don't like it, constantly trying to refute their points, I understand its needed but lacking fairness to the woman like Allah has said then marry only one.... So wheres the fairness to these woman who may have been in a situation where the conditions set by Allah haven't been met by the man, why the disregard, why the hardline, unsympatheical I'm going to refute everything approach when clearly from what I understand things can go wrong so why dismiss there feelings?
I can keep going on ill end there. Just confused on this topic. I think there is a lack of understanding on polygamy even the life of prohet Muhammad SAW, he didn't decide to marry multiple wives because Allah allows so they were all for specific reasons otherwise from my understanding he wouldn't of.
Again correct me if I'm wrong but overall a good video just feel this topic hasn't been spoken about well at all and this video is another one for me.
They talked about what is considered 'just' at length in the beginning. You might wanna pay attention.
@@hazimhashim235 I made many points in my comments. They didn't address what is just well they gave an analogy that from what I understood is just trying to justify doing something that Allah has allowed even if it causes someone a pain point however Allah has clearly given criteria that MUST be followed in order for it to be acceptable. In his marriage analogy Allah has given permission for the person wanting to get married to chose who they want to get married to also under some criteria for both men and woman for who they should be marrying. The pain point part is something the mother has to allow because it is UNJUST for a parent to not allow there daughter or son to not marry someone bc they dont like them or whatever the reason is if it's not a legitimate reason that Quran and Sunnah dictates then the parent should let it happen even if he she doesn't like it. This is a poor analogy because someone marrying and living with there partner/s is different to a mother father accepting who there son/daughter wants to marry i.e different dynamic. Point is a woman in a relationship should have a say and also Allah has given specifc criteria for polygamy which the brothers did not mention or discuss. They incorrectly stated Islam allows this form of marriage however this is inaccurate to what Quran states from what I know, Quran says you can marry more than one under specific criteria that men must meet otherwise you can only marry one (paraphrasing), this was not mentioned and therefore them saying Islam simply allows it is incorrect.
Hope that clarifies.
Being just is not about the emotions of the heart , Its well known who the Prophet Mohammad Loved most out of his wives it was Aisha RA , n she also knew the love he had for Khadijah RA. Just is on the actions of the man I.e. Time spent with the women so providing equal nights ( a woman can stipulate less time) , providing for them etc. He can not give one wife a certain lvl of living standards and than neglate his other wife living standard when she has not agreed to such conditions in her nikkah contract, that is the meaning of not being just .
Spot on.
It seems you’re a compassionate man with high emotional intelligence. I appreciate your input. May God bless you.
As a woman I never against polygamy as it is not a sinful act, we are living in a society where bf/gfs are accepted but polygamy is like committing a crime. We have to remember our life is a test that’s it. Regardless of polygamy it is the man who has to be just towards his wives.
Edit: I think people here missed the point when I wrote life is a TEST. Perhaps polygamy will be a test for some.Hence, we all will be tested in one way or another.
True!
@Touhami Not just, just considerate and obedient.
Very well said
Yes but Allah recommends marrying one woman. Thus men should not go after things that might break their first marriage as divorce is the only halal act that Allah does not like.
In Canada it’s illegal to have a second wife here. So if my husband is breaking the laws of where he lives, it’s considered haram.
Wow! This video is actually an *hour long.* May Allah ﷻ bless you guys. Ameen!
1. In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful.
2. Praise be to God, Lord of the Worlds.
2. God, there is no god but He, the Living, the Eternal. To Him belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. He is the Sublime, the Magnificent. Originator of the heavens and the earth. He made for you mates from among yourselves, and pairs of animals, by means of which He multiplies you. There is nothing like Him. He is the Hearing, the Seeing.
3. He sent down to you the Book with the Truth, confirming what came before it; and He sent down the Torah and the Gospel.
4. Aforetime, as guidance for mankind; and He sent down the Criterion. Those who have rejected God’s signs will have a severe punishment. God is Mighty, Able to take revenge.
5. Nothing is hidden from God, on earth or in the heaven.
6. It is He who forms you in the wombs as He wills. There is no god except He, the Almighty, the Wise.
16. And mention in the Scripture Mary, when she withdrew from her people to an eastern location.
17. She screened herself away from them, and We sent to her Our spirit, and He appeared to her as an immaculate human.
18. She said, “I take refuge from you in the Most Merciful, should you be righteous.”
19. He said, “I am only the messenger of your Lord, to give you the gift of a pure son.”
20. She said, “How can I have a son, when no man has touched me, and I was never unchaste?”
21. He said, “Thus said your Lord, `It is easy for Me, and We will make him a sign for humanity, and a mercy from Us. It is a matter already decided.'“
22. So she carried him, and secluded herself with him in a remote place.
23. The labor-pains came upon her, by the trunk of a palm-tree. She said, “I wish I had died before this, and been completely forgotten.”
24. Whereupon he called her from beneath her: “Do not worry; your Lord has placed a stream beneath you.
25. And shake the trunk of the palm-tree towards you, and it will drop ripe dates by you.”
26. “So eat, and drink, and be consoled. And if you see any human, say, ‘I have vowed a fast to the Most Gracious, so I will not speak to any human today.'“
27. Then she came to her people, carrying him. They said, “O Mary, you have done something terrible.
28. O sister of Aaron, your father was not an evil man, and your mother was not a whore.”
29. So she pointed to him. They said, “How can we speak to an infant in the crib?”
30. He said, “I am the servant of God. He has given me the Scripture, and made me a prophet.
31. And has made me blessed wherever I may be; and has enjoined on me prayer and charity, so long as I live.
32. And kind to my mother, and He did not make me a disobedient rebel.
33. So Peace is upon me the day I was born, and the day I die, and the Day I get resurrected alive.”
34. That is Jesus son of Mary-the Word of truth about which they doubt.
35. It is not for God to have a child-glory be to Him. To have anything done, He says to it, “Be,” and it becomes.
36. “God is my Lord and your Lord, so worship Him. That is a straight path.”
37. But the various factions differed among themselves. So woe to those who disbelieve from the scene of a tremendous Day.
38. Listen to them and watch for them the Day they come to Us. But the wrongdoers today are completely lost.
39. And warn them of the Day of Regret, when the matter will be concluded. Yet they are heedless, and they do not believe.
40. It is We who will inherit the earth and everyone on it, and to Us they will be returned.
41. And mention in the Scripture Abraham. He was a man of truth, a prophet.
42. He said to his father, “O my father, why do you worship what can neither hear, nor see, nor benefit you in any way?
43. O my father, there has come to me knowledge that never came to you. So follow me, and I will guide you along a straight way.
44. O my father, do not worship the devil. The devil is disobedient to the Most Gracious.
45. O my father, I fear that a punishment from the Most Gracious will afflict you, and you become an ally of the devil.”
46. He said, “Are you renouncing my gods, O Abraham? If you do not desist, I will stone you. So leave me alone for a while.”
47. He said, “Peace be upon you. I will ask my Lord to forgive you; He has been Kind to me.
48. And I will withdraw from you, and from what you pray to instead of God. And I will pray to my Lord, and I hope I will not be disappointed in my prayer to my Lord.”
49. When he withdrew from them, and from what they worship besides God, We granted him Isaac and Jacob. And each We made a prophet.
50. And We gave them freely of Our mercy, and gave them a noble reputation of truth.
51. And mention in the Scripture Moses. He was dedicated. He was a messenger and a prophet.
52. And We called him from the right side of the Mount, and brought him near in communion.
53. And We granted him, out of Our mercy, his brother Aaron, a prophet.
54. And mention in the Scripture Ishmael. He was true to his promise, and was a messenger, a prophet.
55. And he used to enjoin on his people prayer and charity, and he was pleasing to his Lord.
56. And mention in the Scripture Enoch. He was a man of truth, a prophet.
57. And We raised him to a high position.
58. These are some of the prophets God has blessed, from the descendants of Adam, and from those We carried with Noah, and from the descendants of Abraham and Israel, and from those We guided and selected. Whenever the revelations of the Most Gracious are recited to them, they would fall down, prostrating and weeping.
59. But they were succeeded by generations who lost the prayers and followed their appetites. They will meet perdition.
60. Except for those who repent, and believe, and act righteously. These will enter Paradise, and will not be wronged in the least.
61. The Gardens of Eden, promised by the Most Merciful to His servants in the Unseen. His promise will certainly come true.
62. They will hear no nonsense therein, but only peace. And they will have their provision therein, morning and evening.
63. Such is Paradise which We will give as inheritance to those of Our servants who are devout.
64. “We do not descend except by the command of your Lord. His is what is before us, and what is behind us, and what is between them. Your Lord is never forgetful.”
65. Lord of the heavens and the earth and what is between them. So worship Him, and persevere in His service. Do you know of anyone equal to Him?
66. And the human being says, “When I am dead, will I be brought back alive?”
67. Does the human being not remember that We created him before, when he was nothing?
68. By your Lord, We will round them up, and the devils, then We will bring them around Hell, on their knees.
69. Then, out of every sect, We will snatch those most defiant to the Most Merciful.
70. We are fully aware of those most deserving to scorch in it.
71. There is not one of you but will go down to it. This has been an unavoidable decree of your Lord.
72. Then We will rescue those who were devout, and leave the wrongdoers in it, on their knees.
73. When Our clear revelations are recited to them, those who disbelieve say to those who believe, “Which of the two parties is better in position, and superior in influence?”
74. How many a generation have We destroyed before them, who surpassed them in riches and splendor?
75. Say, “Whoever is in error, the Most Merciful will lead him on.” Until, when they see what they were promised-either the punishment, or the Hour. Then they will know who was in worse position and weaker in forces.
76. God increases in guidance those who accept guidance. And the things that endure-the righteous deeds-have the best reward with your Lord, and the best outcome.
Read The Quran. Please send it to all christian
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
Polygamy is disgusting. Dont let anything fool you
You should take this video down and apologise to the sisters you’re addressing. You’re emotionally and animatedly criticising them, unfairly throwing labels around and most importantly taking to them in a way you would not like your own female relatives to be spoken to. It’s sad to even have to use this analogy because it should be clear to a Muslim that we should address each other with humility and softness, assume the best in each other, and speak in a dignified manner. The analogy in the Quran about the braying of donkeys should always be remembered.
Especially considering there is a cultural struggle of ideas going on, those truly calling to good need to have impeccable adab. Ask yourself are you aiming for that standard? Why should any sister listen to you after you’ve given them the harshest verbal dressing down even a teenager would find excessive? Especially considering they’re strangers who haven’t done anything to you. And even if they had!
Once again brothers I advise you to take this video down and send an apology to the young women in the video. Salaama alaykum
The brothers have nothing to apologize for. And you should never apologize to feminists
No. You are a man you do not know how women feel when your partner suddenly wants a second wife. Imagine your wife wanting a second husband. And Islam was the first religion to ever give rights to women and invented feminism
@@waleedasad7072 they do. they act as if women having to accept polygamy or wearing a hijab or long sleeves should be something joyful it is not. it is a test. and tests are always hard. wo do it for the love to their god not for men.
because unlike what you think wo would like to have two men too just like they would love to walk outside without a hijab and long sleeves.
but these are the tests they gotten and that they have to overcome to get into heaven. but if you men do not stop acting as if it is not hard and wo shouldn't complain you will lose your wo
@@Jessicaro even if it's hard, you have to do it . No way getting around it
@@waleedasad7072 ofcourse there is a way god even gave women a way it is called divorce.
you know the right that men convenietly do not tell a wo she has. or the other one is by putting it in the contract when they get married also something men convenietly do not tell wo about. so no she doesn't ahve to take it because even god know some tests are to hard for his creations.
I have seen the original video and I agree/and understand with everything they said, y’all talking from an inexperienced point of view and from a mans point of view, it hurts me so much that many of you (in the comments and vid) can be so heartless. Y’all didn’t understand anything. Many of these comments/ what y’all are saying it’s utterly disgusting and sad, y’all haven’t even talked from everyone’s point of view just yours, personally me I was in a family where polygamy was practised wrong, and it left a mark on me as a young child
I seen the sisters video, there wasn't a single ayah or hadith, the sisters video was based on life experience , my friend went through polygamy she found it difficult, so there for every polygamy must be this way, there wasn't one good thing they said about polygamy, the sisters need to open the history of Islam and they'll clearly see almost every successful man like the prophets, sahaba's had one more then one wife, this is a new thing in the West that they are telling us its one man and one woman, while its one man with up to 4 wives, I would personally tell most brothers to only have one wife because most man Cant afford to have more then one wife but then again most of the successful men in Islam were financially broke but still managed
@@hamid6790 you are gaslighting other peoples experience.. your comment is actually a lack of empathy, yes polygamy is already a struggle for most women, and it’s talked about in Hadiths, but these women are talking about when polygamy is done wrong, if sisters already find polygamy a little bit hard…. that doesn’t give the excuse for many men out there to do it wrong, that sentence is giving the mentality of “so what sisters will find it difficult regardless I might as well do it wrong/my own way”. and it’s based on life experience because they are talking about different life experiences/point of views… that’s kinda what their channel is based on talking about struggles/things the community don’t talk about often (and it should be talked about), they are talking about how polygamy has an effect on women when done wrong, they are talking about struggles that’s kinda main topic of their channel (struggles) that is overlooked in the community. “you said therefore every polygamy should be this way”, and I disagree, yes polygamy came from Allah, (👉With the intention to protect women👈). 1. There is no obligation for the women to accept when she finds herself in this situation, in fact there is a Hadith where a woman came to the prophet because her husband had married second, and she couldn’t (handle it) so she went to the prophet. And told him what’s the matter the prophet said would you be able to give him back mehr she said yes, and the divorce was finalised, so every polygamy shouldn’t be this way when you are struggling/it has an effect on you and there is a way out, 2. These sisters are talking about when polygamy is done wrong, not when it’s right. So if polygamy is done wrong then no it shouldn’t be that way. polygamy is not for everyone it takes a lot, these things should be discussed before wedding. And most men back in the day managed it, because they had the means to keep it balanced financially/supportive. Etc, it was a different time back then in how things were/and how it worked, polygamy is not something lightly, it comes with restrictions /rules/ obligations and it’s not something that should be approached lightly. I have seen most people in this comment section and the video complaining that the sisters didn’t say something nice about polygamy…. the sisters are talking about the sides of things (struggles) that’s the main topic of their channel, sorry to say but I think y’all are just looking for something to be mad about, but anyways May You have A blessed day brother Good night/or evening,morning
@@ninass8119 I would love for the sisters to make a video on how polygamy done the right way instead of talking about life experience or emotions
strongly disagree when you wrote polygamy is to only help women , it's meant to help men too.
can you send me that full hadith so i can do a bit of research on that but either way I could easily send you 20 hadith on how polygamy benefits everyone. You do realise if a woman showed up to a mosque and said i want a divorce because my husband got another wife isn't any grounds on getting a divorce.
@@hamid6790 I didn't say nothing wrong, and Where are those hadiths?. if you look up the history of polygamy, polygamy has always existed in the history of human civilization, and women back then didn't have rights/ their rights were abused. men married more than 4 and so on, but then Islam made restrictions for it... to protect women, that's the fact (it was revealed to protect women). Though I agree that Polygamy is allowed, (but not mandatory), and it is a solution and measure for certain situations that may arise from time to time. At the same time I can't ignore that this rule was revealed to protect women (everyone knows that) it is evident from a study of the Holy Quran that a special situation of a post war period is being discussed during that verse in the Holy Quran. It is a time when there were large number of orphans and widows. It wasn't designed to satisfy the male sexual appetite and lust, nor was it designed to prove that males are polygamous creatures, but it was intended to correct the injustices done to widows, orphans, and other female dependants, The verse was revealed after the battle of Uhud in which several men died and there were a large number of widows/orphans, all this you can gain the knowledge of, if you search the history of it. You can also take the example of the Prophet All his wives were widows/divorcees except one Aisha Ra. And going to a mosque saying you want a divorce because the husband took another wife and you can't handle it, is a reason for a divorce/Khula because as I said before there was a women who went to the prophet because of this reason and she got her divorce the hadith is in Sahih al-Bukhari 5273. Plus about the sisters, it's their channel and they made it about struggles, why don't Mohammed hijab or Ali make one instead of calling sisters names/misunderstanding them just because they decided to voice out struggles that occurs within the community. It would have been really good for them to talk about the beauty of polygamy or at least try to understand instead of completely gaslighting the experience and emotions of others.
it's pretty early here...good night
@@hamid6790 true, but hating your husband because he has taken a second wife and not feeling able to give him his rights is a valid reason, so its just semantics but the divorce would be given for the same reason he remarried,
I probably won't reply to this comment anymore but tbh i haven't met a single man who's good enough to engage in polygamy properly
I'm happy that you have such confidence in youre Islamic analysis of your brother's, but alhamdullilah Allah in his all-knowing Nature is the one to judge that.
I know various,U must be from d west
@@sonicryu2769 why such a conclusion? You think if the man is from the east it's all good?
@@sonicryu2769 I've never been to the west
@@schokobar5128 i didn't make an islamic analysis at all 😅
Polygamy is the most discussed topic in Islam. There's so much wrong with it.
I watched from beginning to end! Alhamdulillah my attention span is getting better
I mostly agree with the brothers here, but I think there's a simple way out of all this.
If you are a Muslim woman and you don't want your husband to practise Polygamy then fine, just add it as a condition in your marriage contract. This means he should never break his promise.
Your comment will soon be deleted
This is a permissible stipulation in Shari'ah as well. So yes, it is a solution for a woman who knows she is absolutely too jealous or knows she just simply doesn't want to ever share her husband.
@@MK-sl5qc This is the problem.. divorce is not a simple matter is not like changing cloths!! The ultimate goal of marriage is to build a family a safe haven for the children and the parents.. chop chop attitude is certainly far from this!!
you cant forbid that which allah has granted, it cant be a islamic contract while nullifying islamic rulings within the contract. this is like saying lets write a contract with a clause that we dont have to abide by the law that gives this contract legitimacy.
@@customerservice2704 No. This is like saying we get married on the basis that we don't relocate.. etc. Polygamy is not Sunnah, you don't become a better Muslim through Polygamy.
Sorry, this is too sensitive a topic for two over-privileged brothers to understand, let alone judge
Your comment will soon be deleted 😂
How are they over-privileged ? Honest question.
@@mindfulstoic3095 Well for starters, these brothers are male (which automatically comes with its own privileges) but on top of that, they live very comfortable lives as popular social media personalities and therefore lack the required empathy to discuss a topic that has been the cause of unthinkable suffering and grief for some women. However, may Allah Almighty guide & assist Mohammed and Ali in their overall efforts, ameen. They generally do a good job.
@@richardpreece5384 Oh god, i should have abstained from asking, i was hoping for an elaborate answer, i wasn't prepared for this....
They are overly privileged because they are males ? As a starter ? You should have left this one last akhi haha
I stopped reading at this non sense. Being a male isn't a privilege (nor being a female), let alone an OVER-privilege. I can't argue with this new age nonsensicle WOKE rhetoric that seems to be hijacking our oumma as well, we're up for a bad start already. May allah guide us all.
They're feminist indoctrinated secularised women clearly, using their own subjective "feelings" so Allaah has legislated trauma, spiritual abuse and Allaah shouldn't have divinely instituted poligyny.
They're only talking from a purely emotive, jealous, feminist western propaganda against Islam, they're showing they have no understanding of Islam at all, women jump on this misandrist nonsense and don't reflect if they're even on the required spiritual levels and objectives of Islam as a wife/mother.
They're products of a completely failed Islamic & cultural upbringing and undeniably pushing feminism behind the hijaab, their fathers if Muslim should be ashamed, boycotted & shunned, nobody should EVER marry females like this & they're too many of them in Muslim communities, who cleverly wording their hatred for Islam as supposedly reasoned points.
& the whole time she's pushing ignorance and spiritual abuse against Allaah's legislation that the enemies of Islam applaud & use to attack the Islam through these kinds of secularised "sisters" who get all this garbage from feminist websites, books and feminist indoctrination in the western education system and then spew this as so called Islamic concerns.
The comments sections and those who thumbs up those garbage comments show how extremely unislamic these so "sisters" are, these comments are applauded by the disbelievers and enemies of Islam, well done feminists who are most unislamic than Islamic...💯
The right way to go about it is to stay monogamous. Polygamy is not a requirement..
ali da’wa really shouldn’t be commenting about stuff like this and constantly voicing his opinions as he doesn’t actually have any formal background in Islamic studies and its sciences. he rants too much and gets emotional really quickly.
Ran out of videos to react to? To dig up an old video of your fellow Muslim sisters to completely misinterpret what they’ve said and mock them for shedding a light on a reality that exists for many Muslim women
At least could’ve had an open discussion with them instead of gaslighting Muslim women for having basic emotion and wanting to speak up about it. You forget that burying an existing problem will always come up back and worse so better address it now
you have respectful debates and discussions with JP and many other non-muslims that do not deserve the exposure and platform but cannot even do that with your fellow muslim sisters that you disagree with. Not mentioning the way you completely misunderstood what they were saying. Check their video description next time before you decide to make a problem out of nothing
Wallahi I cannot believe the words coming out of her mouth.
"Islamically says so but morally"
There is no but, there is no morality outside Islam.She is literally throwing Islam out the window and making her own morality. May Allah guide us.
@@MamaJihyo may Allah guide you
May Allah guide us all and keep us all on صراط المستقيم
Women ☕
Exactly.
"We know Islam says xyz, but morally xyz."
Lol. Kufr speech.
that's why it is not recommended for woman to do dawah, their dawah would be just feelings and emotions without valid and reasonable arguments
Also kinda weird how they’re so focussed on the Somali girl more than the others, when the Arab has made similar comments throughout the video.These guys give a lil racist vibes ngl.
The problem is with men who want enter into polygamous marriages, and they don't even pray their 5 daily Salaah. If you are not going to fulfill the rights of Allah, how can we expect you to fulfill the rights of multiple wives.
Polygamy is not easy, men have to be completely equal in their dealings with their wives, and Allah SWT has said that if you can not be equal then just marry one.
It is hard enough to maintain a relationship with one wife, nevermind multiple wives.
There is a lack of God fearing muslim men in the 21st century, and there are countless examples of men entering into second and third marriages without fulfilling the rights of the wives correctly.
then dont marry that man...
@@noticing33 hahaha couldn't have said it any better.
Why are you even be with a Husband who doesn't pray? Just divorce him and marry a pious guy. Then He'll decide if he needs another wife or not!
@@rikudotenin9773 it's a similar thing among the disbeleivers, the women moan about men this and men that, yet they pick the dodgy men repeatedly and and then whine about men being bad meanwhile they've probably rejected a dozen prospects cuse theyre not tall or rich enough, or amongst muslim women, they're TOoo practicing AND not tall or rich enough lolll.
@@noticing33 Exactly, everything is done off emotion and not logic. And when you point that out, you're the bad guy.
Br Mohammed’s videos are honestly so wholesome to watch. It has the exact factors needed for the younger generation to benefit as well as the general public to learn about Islamic teachings. Never stop doing these videos brother. Jazakallah khair!!
Assalamu alaikum everyone, if anyone wants to know islam or LOGIC, please check my name
Muslim is a religion of bad ideas. This guy can't even have an entire conversation without interrupting whenever his belief and ideas are being challenged. I've watched some of his interviews, and every single one of them keeps interrupting.
Jesus taught against divorce and polygamy, strange God would permit it 500 years later through Muhammad… 🤔
@@sojernon8689 Deuteronomy 21:15 New International Version (NIV) The Right of the Firstborn 15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,
@@sojernon8689 ~*600 not 500. hmm i invite you to read and study Quran. i recommend you to start with surah nisa "chapter 'women' " :) May Almighty Allah allow u and me and everyone in the list of those people whom he loves and protect us from being unjust to ourselves and may Allah show u and give u strength to accept the right path and message
Assalamu Alaikum, I can't believe this brothers! You still haven't addressed the points. I support the sisters as they're plain honest and we need a safe space to just talk. Sisters were addressing real issues. They're not denying the polygamy front but does it make sense in this day and age? It's the dynamic of emotional damage. Women and men are already facing issues with marriage let alone polygamy. This is the first video of yours which has really upset me! Why is it ok for women to be victims? What about the guy who does things behind their wife's back? Then women are meant to accept it when they haven't even given consent. I'm not denying Islam or Allah's way at all but it doesn't make sense how guys play the advantage card. If you want pure facts, base your debate on the rate of women's depression increasing. It also surprises me why you're addressing this video after such a long time. Please brothers of Islam humble yourself and check what you're saying. Ali Dawah you have no right to say shut up it's disrespectful! I have a lot of respect for men but this is shocking!
Very well said !!!!!!
What nonsense. Men are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than women - you ever think that men are depressed because modern society is preventing them from having multiple wives, as is natural to them?
"Does it make sense in this day and age?"
What a pathetic statement. Subhan Allah..
YES IT DOES.
ALLAHS WILL AND LAW MAKES SENSE IN ALL POSSIBLE DIMENSIONS, AT ALL TIMES!
No one cares about your emotional baggage when its contradicitng Allah SWT and His will. Deal with it and grow up..
Ur comment reeks of femcentrism as u talk about how the women would feel and how the guy could take advantage of the girl .u don't talk about how the responsibility could be too much for the guy and contribute to the suicide rates we see in men today but instead you talk about women getting taken advantage of and women's depression .IAM not saying u deny that men suffer in these marriages but why do you think a guy today of all times will take advantage of her .if anything it's the women of today who take advantage of guys the most so if anything polygamy will make the life of the guy miserable too but no you wanna talk about how women would feel taken advantage of.femcentrism at its peak.
@@Xenor999 sir you are very much gaslighting women’s experiences. If women are being taken advantage or dealing with depression or not honored in their marriages then it is the responsibility of the men who do honor them to speak up. You are so comfortable to shush women to stay quite and not speak because it’s beneficial for men. Men have put themselves above women, men have put their experiences above women and men have silenced women’s experiences because they gain more by invalidating the real issues that remain ignored and unresolved. A true man knows how to honor, love, support and validate a woman’s experience. Men who puts women beneath them for their own gain are nothing short of BOYS. And the sad reality is in many cultures including my own, that is accepted. But women are growing tired of being ignored and constantly put in a disadvantageous position. Women will learn to speak up in your culture, and the more you press on them the more they will fight for what they rightfully should have. Such as being honored in their families and in their marriages. Women adapt at different paces in different cultures. The women in your culture will not tolerate the disrespect and pain that men cause them forever.
Polygamy is not a requirement.
I'm going to be honest and say it. Alot of men re-marry out of lust and nothing more.
I applaud you brothers, ma sha Allah, the reasons you listed is why both my WIVES and I responded to this very video a few months ago. Extremely problematic. JazakAllahu khayr for setting the record straight.
Based brother MashaAllah
May Allah grant you barakah and happiness in your marriages
Based bro may Allah bless u and ur family
why do you caps lock wives lol
@@MeteorBoy23
He's a proud BIGAMIST(and rightly so)!!!
@@MeteorBoy23 so people know that our reaction video has with women who actually are familiar with polygyny first hand. It's one thing to have only men react or only women not involved in polygyny but another when you actually hear from women who are and theyre reacting in my opinion.
Brother and sisters both tend to be very extreme on this issue, for the brothers... The Sahabah most times re-married to protect the sisters in the community whos husbands became shaheed, or were no longer there for whatever reason. They re-married so that those single mothers/sisters would not be left alone in society, and were not left without provision. The Sahabah protected the women in society through marriage and polygamy, and then took care of their responsibities. Meanwhile we struggle with taking care of our own obligation and responsibilities just between us and Allah, let alone with one wife and kids, let alone with multiple families. May Allah make it easy for us to love the way of Allah and his Prophet, follow the Sunnah and love the Sunnah, and help us to align and force our nafs to love the way of Allah and his Rasool OVER our our souls and our own desires. May Allah help us to be just with the people in our lives, the women in our lives, and the community at large.
Exactly people are living in a fantasy land
Also Allah clearly made men to desire sex more than women
@@fifiadan just because something is desired does not mean it should be satisfied. Inhibiting our carnal desires is part of what it means to live in a healthy, modern society.
@@fifiadan that’s not true
@@looveeyouu5384 Clearly is. Across all societies ever men have desired multiple women and frivolous sex. No women wants to be with multiple men, women desire security from one man
I feel like hijab misunderstood the first point that was mentioned by the sister. It wasn't about spiritual abuse from God. It was about husbands using the "god card" against their wives.
PS. This is just clarifying the point not condemning or condoning it.
well the sisters were saying that if a husband does polygamy then that's spiritual abuse which implies that this halal act from Allah is spiritually abusive.
@@a.abdalla4401 wrong. They said if the husband says because you are 'struggling' to accept this (jealousy, feeling inadequate etc) then you are lacking in faith. Jealousy is NATURAL as Ali pointed out, even Aisha RAA was jealous. Was she told she aas lacking in faith? The danger with saying this, makes a woman think if I cannot overcome these NATURAL human emotions, then I cannot be a good Muslim. I have heard of women leaving Islam because of this.
@@froyo212 feeling jealous is normal. husbands have no right to say such a thing.
Bro u r great
Keep doing the dawah we are with u
They're actually horrible to women.
@@Xc662_ They aren't white knights
@@Xc662_ lol aaaaaw
@@Xc662_ Squidward the Simp
@@zenkahnz3859 no shit
I might’ve missed something here. But it seems like the sister speaking is “quoting” other sisters who are coming to her with this discourse, not from herself. Brother Ali and Mo Hijab is taking it as if she is speaking on behalf of herself.
I find it strange that we have so many people debating polygamy when they couldn’t even afford to be in a polygamous relationship to begin with so why are they even talking about it.
For instance, if you have 2 wives, unless you can convince them to live together, you have to buy 2 houses without riba. 90+% of men can’t do this.
This ruling literally only applies to a tiny portion of the human population and ultimately serves the women from a societal point of view since it increases the woman’s ability to acquire a high quality man at the cost of 90+% of the male population.
it’s a religious discussion you don’t have to actually engage in polygamy to discuss it just like these three women would never want to engage in polygamy yet they are discussing it on camera
@@zodiyac of course you are allowed to. My question is why are so many people so obsessed with this topic especially considering it only affects a tiny portion of society.
@@HK-dd2bo well it’s obviously because there’s so many “muslim feminist” that constantly attack polygamy and shame the concept of it and any man or woman who wants to engage in it
@@zodiyac fair enough, I forget we live in crazy times 🤯
Polygamy marriages are corruption...
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires!Polygamy marriages are corruption...
Destroying the frist marriages!.
Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
"""And you will never be able to be equal between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. From Quran surah Nisa"""... Muslim ummah keep telling others don't follow your desires, women are desires!. But desires can be very powerful. They can hold sway over the mind and lead a person away from reality. When a person follows desires and submits to them, without giving consideration to the guidance received from God, he goes astray. Following of desires is directly linked to misguidance.
To understand the effect of desire it is important to analyze what desire does to human intelligence. It puts a curtain over the eyes of the mind. It makes a person so attached to its target that reality is overlooked. The conditions to understand reality include an objectivity to it. It means acceptance of reality whether palatable or bitter, whether it is for personal gain or against it. These conditions are not in line with the dictates of desire.
In another verse Almighty Allah puts forth this truth in even stronger terms. He calls desire the god of some human beings. He says: Have you seen him who has taken his desire to be his god? (Q 25:43). Such a god has been condemned in the strongest terms in Hadith. The Prophet (s) has said: There is no god under the sky that has been worshipped other than Allah that is worse than the desire. (Taken from Tafsīr Namūne). No other deity is as despicable as the human being’s own desire.
Imam al-Sādiq (a) says: Be apprehensive of your desires in the same way as you are apprehensive of your enemies. For there is no greater enemy for human beings than their own desires and what their tongues reap (Al-Kulaynī, al-Kāfī, 2: 336.)
Following of desires is often not recognized for the lowly quality it is. It can be masqueraded as freedom, having fun, being with the masses, etc. It clads a veil over the person as well as others who are exposed to him. Only those who have insight and reflect on reality are able to see through it.
This verse reminds us of the danger!
Polygamy marriages come under desires! Bukhari :: Book 7 :: Volume 62 :: Hadith 157
Narrated Al-Miswar bin Makhrama:
I heard Allah's Apostle who was on the pulpit, saying, "Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me."... Even Prophet Muhammed pbah didn't give permission to his daughters husband to take a second wife!
Not every man is polygompus, many are I agree but not all. Polygamy was not addressed clearly at any other religion except Islam because Arabs were known for their polygamy generally. Adultry was very common among Arabs at that time & were very much sex oriented to the point at they feared having daughters because they had an audacity to be raped !!
The best way to do polygamy is be transparent about your intentions for it before marriage, Ali. And when you see a woman you want to marry, as a courtesy, communicate & discuss with your first wife so she’s emotionally ready. That’s all those sisters are saying but you guys are attacking them for their word usage & accusing them of flirting with kufr. Not everything they said I agree with.
Hijab, you’re saying a secret marriage is not wrong? That she can’t tell her family or anyone else? Do you realize women are human beings? Not robot playthings?
We must all practice sabr…both men & women. So why don’t most men have sabr when their wives are struggling with sharing the husband? Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had sabr and counseled his ﷺ wives.
You’re telling women to have sabr then a man should have sabr in either not marrying or cheating with other women. Or atleast have sabr when your wives may be emotionally struggling.
Also, instead of shaming women for having emotions and being human, in a nice manner, teach us on how our Mother’s dealt with their emotions. Because they had it harder than us.
Do work on your arrogance though Muhammad. You’re acting like Allah ﷻ didn’t give women ANY rights & THAT is extremely troubling.
We have khulla. If a woman is selfish for putting her relationship with Allah ﷻ before her husband, then she’s selfish. Her accountability is with Allah ﷻ , not you
Respectfully, if you have a problem with secret marriage then your problem is not with Hijab. The rulings of Allah swt are set. Please do not fall for the same mistake the sisters did in the video.
@@agp4580 is it just for a woman to not be able to publicly claim her husband or have her rights fulfilled.
@@omowhanre I'm not knowledgeable enough to answer that question from an Islamic standpoint
What ever you wanna do for your wife or husband or anybody,please do it for the sake of Allah and He will save you from these stress going on in our community.
Just a quick reminder to me and my brothers and sisters in Islam that this world we live in is a trial and anything that cross your path on it. Fear the day you allow with your deeds will stand allow in front of Almighty Allah, may He makes it a easy day for everyone one us. Amin
Holy prophet(PBUH) said fear Allah in the matters of women but men are not taking it seriously
Very smart and brave women to speak their mind against this
Someone needs to address the higher chances of getting an STD or STI for the man and his wives. It can also develop into an HIV and cause fertility issues on the long run.
I personally refuse to sleep with my husband just knowing that he might get me an STD or STI, or even cause fertility issues for me. Some of those diseases stay with you for permanently like Hepatitis B, herpes, HIV, and HPV. AND women are more prone to get Cervical cancer if their husband is sleeping with other multiple wives.
SEX EDUCATION NEEDS TO BE ADDRESED !!
Are you mental bro 😂😂
AIDS cannot be transmitted if none of the wives has the disease, he can test them before marrying them, so avoid making stuff up if you are uneducated about this topic.
@@Bd-mq8td Yess, that is true as well. It's selfish to think that there's zero harm in marrying more than one wife without sexually transmitting infections or diseases. That's why it's Sunnah and not mandatory. I'm very dissapointed about the lack of education in this video and I hope all Muslims watching this read my comment or do their own research !
I can’t with you two. I reverted to Islam when I was nineteen. I’m now 69. I married my then, husband shortly after I became Muslim. My husband was not a stranger to me in the sense I’ve known him from the time I was in 3rd grade.
So exactly 1 yr almost to the date he marries my late co-wife. Now we are all, the three of us African American reverts to Islam, so the concept of polygamy is truly foreign and strange, but it is a part of our Deen, so we must deal with it regardless. So being new Muslims, having to learn the religion and now having to deal polygamy also was not easy. So did he do it right, no he did not, was he dishonest, yes he was, for example, he told my late co-wife that he an I were getting a divorce so she would marry him, among other deceitful things, that I can’t even speak of. So for the two of you who want to sit up there and act like men don’t do all kinds low down acts in the name of what you refer to as an institution, give me a break. Muslim men engage in all types of dishonorable and immoral behavior when they want to have multiple wives. Clearly this is the type of behavior these sisters are talking about. So as Muslim woman are we suppose to except this behavior from our husbands an be happy about how he has carried this out. Yes brother there are true horror stories that Muslim men commit such as sleeping with the women in secret before he marries her, so on top of how the husband has betrayed his first wife then she is expected to hide his faults and smile to the world. I don’t know what planet the two of you live on, but you two need to take a seat.
These two are very judgemental and often miss the point of the basic teachings of Islam. It’s really frustrating because they often do more harm than good. I’m so upset that they up and went to Leicester to add fuel to an already bristling fire. Mosques are telling young brothers to stay indoors and away from any situations that could result in violence, then Hijab travels all the way to Leicester to entice young brothers to do the opposite of what Masjids are instructing.
It comes down to, yes to polygamy but.. theres allways the verbal judo, so many detractors here, but none of them are telling what the proper way of the act of polygamy should be.. still waiting.. crickets.
You have any proof to your claim ?
These two are clowns these days honestly. Continuing with their women hating agenda
@@mshamun7514 lol stop trying so hard to shut down the trauma of others, these things happens.
As a woman myself who is in a grey area regarding poly for myself i can say that if women don't poly that is ok. But on one hand one can't complain abt how single mothers have harder time to remarry while rejecting poly. Cuz poly can help single mothers. Either poly is accepted to help such women. Or it is rejected and we accept that for some women remarrying can be harder n a test for Allah. There r men who can face test in remarrying too.
Its these self righteous men implying a woman that doesn't agree with polygamy is not God fearing, absolute nonsense. Some women don't mind it, fine. Some women do, also fine. Most of these guys just want to cheat in a "halal" manner 😆. If men want this disclose that to wife number 1 before you marry her, if she accepts great if she doesn't move on, at least you was honest from the beginning.
Men need to stop berating women who don't want to be apart of this.
You speak as a fool woman. Polygamy is sin in the eyes of God. Only Islam promotes it because its not from God.
You cannot reject poly as an aspect of Islam. Rejecting means rejecting the Quran itself. You have the right however, to refuse it personally. If you are married, you can clearly state that I do not want it. It's your right. And in Islam, ultimately, things are decided by compassion of people towards each other. Your husband should respect your wish.
@@amrhassan849 Thats not what the Quran said. The Quran says if a woman is being disobedient, withhold sex from her, if she continues, beat her. Your Islam and the Qurans Islam are quite different.
@@amrhassan849 In Islam ultimately things are decided by an appeal to the word of the Quran, which says husbands should beat their wives.