Btw I’m willing to share my husband with my girlfriends especially when they r single mothers who can’t get married or find someone who can give them halal relationship
Queen....its alright for muslim woman to not be ok for their husband's to have a 2nd wife. It's better for the wife to be clear on her preference on that so it doesn't affect their spousal relationship and that the Husband makes a responsible decision
If a man wants a second wife, you discuss that before marriage. When they have secret, it means his wife is against it. He knew, he married her and now has changed his mind. Marry someone who is open to it from the beginning. Nothing wrong with it, but it’s wrong to force people who do not want to live that lifestyle. Not everyone wants to live like that.
Polygyny is a right given as a default by the Creator of all creation. There is no need for him to discuss something only 1, 2 or 3% of men do. If you want to discuss it then by all means. Please don’t bend Allah’s religion. You cause nothing but confusion. I ask Allah to guide us all and to remain steadfast on the truth.
@@alphauno6614 It’s not compulsory. Most men that practice do not fit that criteria needed to practice. It’s fine if a man wants to do it. But do that with women who also want that. The ones that don’t are not obligated or forced by religion to do it. Which is why I stated to discuss this like you would discuss children, finances etc. it it will lead to a lot of chaos.
@@almara90 “Most men that practice do not fit that criteria needed to practice.” You made a claim here so prove it. What study are you referring to? If it’s just an opinion then it is my opinion that the overwhelming majority of men and women in polygynous marriages love it soooo much that they have better marriages than their monogamous counterparts.
If we were to keep our deen first instead of emotions and our western ideology (which has for sure infiltrated our mind) women wouldn't have that much of an issue when it comes to second wife
Ali is tooo pushy. Marriage isn’t only sex Ali. Men can decide that having to cater to 2 women and 2 households is a lot of work financially ,emotionally and even more when children come involved. Not all men want polygyny as it’s a huge responsibility.
@@theman8070 Absolutely true! And it is a form of lying too to say that she is single. Some Muslim men take advantage of this fact which is disgusting. So now you don't even have to be financially capable to get a second wife!
God made 1 man and 1 woman to be together. God never commanded men to have 4 wives, but allowed it for the sake of protecting women who couldn't support themselves. Jesus is the Truth and the only way to the Father, no one comes to the Father except through Jesus
@@LivelyFig 700 wives and 300 concubines, but did God command Solomon to have that many wives? No and did God say it was okay to have that many wives? Also no, What you are saying is that "If God allows all those things to happen then that means He definitely commanded it", Do you know what was also allowed but not commanded? P3dophillia, homosexuality, murd3r, torture, abuse, but did God command it or said it was okay? no, and unlike these which basically ruin mankind, polygamy wasn't negative for a specific purpose: to protect women, it was allowed in order to protect women because they couldn't support themselves, and when a man marries that many wives, he should take care of them, and did you know what happens to Solomon for having that much wife? I don't think you do, they led him away from God, it's just that issue. God kept silent about it because telling them that it wasn't His will at THAT time, will cause women to live in worst situations especially when it doesn't have a better outcome. The will of God is *one* man and *one* woman, if God wanted men to be polygamous, then Adam would have other wives beside Eve.
@@asemalmasri6181 no you won't unless you lack the balls to handle 4 women, also i didn't say no man refuses to be with one women stop straw manning what i said
Marriage is a partnership that involves trust, honesty, and communication. When one partner cannot share information it can seriously damage the foundation of the relationship, imagine hearing it from the outside world that your partner is married to someone else, that is the biggest betrayal. i feel like people need to voice their wants from a relationship before they get into the relationship.
Or how about acceptance of each others flaws? It's hypocritical for you te expect a man to accept that you have desires, like going for a nice dinner, or just giving you money, but then not accept his desires. Men and women are meant to work with eachother, not against eachother.
Marriage is something that should be openly declared, not hidden. This is part of the Sunnah. If a man is too fearful of his first wife's potential reaction, he isn't mature enough to be taking on the responsibility of a second wife.
@@marisakennedy777 There was a reason for each of the Prophet pbuh's marriages. Read the biography of his life. The Quran limits men to up to 4 but doesn't advise them to marry multiple women. Ali Dawah's logic is irrelevant here
The fact that they excuse the women’s complaints as “hormonal” and “emotional” is disguising..that’s literally the same mindset men from the 1950’s had.
I wonder what would happen if all Muslim women just stopped marrying 😂 Muslim men can still marry non Muslim women but they woudnt take this disrespect either 🤣
@@_1Solo no she said “as a Muslim woman” you can’t tell her who and what she is. She already knows. Not every Muslim woman who stands up for herself is “modern western Muslim woman” and being western isn’t a reason to look down on someone. That’s racist.
And to add this discussion about secret wives will make women suspicious, insecure paranoid about their husbands. Nobody wants to be around someone they don't trust. You don't feel emotionally safe.
@@vtee549 men are the reason for wars lol precisely for this reason. Lack of understanding. Women deserve to feel secure and loved. There are men who do not want more than 1 wife. They don't entertain it because they are content. You may refuse to believe that because that's what you want. What you focus on grows. Just because its allowed in Islam does not mean its suitable for everyone. Like someone here said, your intentions will be judged on the day of judgement so quit vilifying women who don't want it in their life. Choose women who do.
@@vtee549 Wow don’t feel a feeling that Allah SWT has put in all of us! Women are allowed and are naturally jealous, jealously isn’t always a bad thing! BUT if we allow our jealousy to take over and drive out decisions then yes that could be dangerous!
@@vtee549 you are absolutely delusional, this person makes a good point and you are being an idiot bringing in “permission” into the occasion just to dismiss someone making a good point. The women could say the same about men, “stop being so horny” problem solved right? Not so easy. Be fair bro.
@@HibaRani-dv5bd everyone, so if i live in a city, everyone need to know, so if i live in new york, 6+ milions of people need to know my life, are you serious? And no, a man doesnt need his wife permission, she doesnt jave any power over him about
@@kinglaw1882 it's people with such a obnoxious attitude that drive people away from islam. What if your wife did that to you? Why are you always expecting women to accept things you yourself would find unbearable?
@@shimmer4771 i wish the best for that 1% and its the right Allah has given. But in all honesty, in the western context where women can have any guy they want, youre probably only gonna pull that off if you get ur second wife from overseas. No way that western muslim women, who probably have a higher education than you as a man, are going to go along with that. Im not saying its not the right of the man, but in reality in the western context, this just aint gonna fly. Good luck convincing them that they just have to accept it and put their emotions aside, its easier for you to move a mountain in all seriousness
Lmao what a weird take. You ask Allah that you need more rizq for a second wife, I strongly believe he will give you those means if you uphold the rest of your deen. Let's not mock the poorer brothers, for one day the supposed richer ones can end up poor.
What I find concerning about this debate is that basic Islamic principles of kindness compassion and empathy and honesty just don't seem to matter in these people's marriages.....these men know this will hurt their wives but because they're technically allowed it becomes, my desires matter more than my responsibility to be just, kind and compassionate to my original wife. My desires as a man are worth the risk of causing future family problems when I have two sets of families secret from each other. The selfishness here is boundless.
@therebelliousprince0077Islam teaches you to take into account of others feelings, to be respectful and kind. So yes you SHOULD consider your wives feelings. It says to treat them with kindness. Not regarding them feelings goes against that.
Because your religion says so. Meanwhile Jesus calls polygamy a sin and calls a husband to love his wife as he loved the church and sacrificed himself for her. Polygamy is adultery. Trust in Jesus, he loves you and died on the cross as a sacrifice for your sins. If you trust him he will raise you up on the last day and you will spend eternity with him. May God guide you to Jesus.
@@itsmichaelakin5421right…that’s why Jesus said he came to confirm the law that came before him, and the law that came before him in your own Bible shows the prophets of God all being polygamous but you pick and choose what you follow in your religion. Pork btw is also banned in your Bible just a fyi. May God guide you to the actual teachings of Christ who said “why do you call me good, only God is good”.
Just answer this, why keep it a secret? Every wife has the right to know. It’s not even permission. Man doesn’t need permission. But why HIDE? In my experience, u only hide things u r ashamed/guilty of.
When I look at the comments by men below this video, I can see the current moral level and it’s alarming. They say, "As long as Allah allows it, it's okay, secret or not." They use religion to fulfill their worldly desires. May Allah give these men akhlaq.
The problem is both men and Islam. Many men have these degenerate desires and Islam gives them permission to act on it. Christianity doesn't have this problem as Jesus Christ said that marriage is only between one man and one woman. Why would you continue to defend a religion which treats you like an object?
The thing is, if you get married in secret, then by definition, you'd have to lie to the first wife. Where will you say you are going for half the week? Why do you suddenly have half the money you had available? What if your second wife dies? How will you explain why you now have custody of these children? Lying in these circumstances is not permissible in Islam. So how would you navigate these situations?
Don't tell ur wife about ur 2nd wife, so the children of the 2 wives can end up marrying each other (marrying siblings). Yes, that had happened more than once!
@@Biekoewhat if he died, what if he divorced the second wife and didn't have contact with his kids... If lying is allowed and he only married in mosque, no papers and he used different name liying to the second wife... It could happen . Some have second wifes in different countries, what if one of the kids migrate and end up marrying
@@fidemingenium5906 well that why i always think a man shouldnt hide it. He should be a man and tell his first wife honestly about his second wife. I wouldn’t hide it either if i would ever even marry a second wife
To the men who try to convince woman that they should allow their husbands to have second wife's etc. Have any of you approached your mothers to convince her to allow your fathers to bring home another wife?
@@shimmer4771 "Most of them wouldn't. 😂 The thing is, women being jealous or angry is our nature. We're supposed to be" females being insecure, jealous, angry and fragile are not considered to be "nature" it is just their narcissism.
@@shimmer4771 "The idea of sharing a husband is very difficult for many women. It makes us angry." men dont belong to females, female belong to men. females are not authorities over men for them to decide if you will like to "share" him. polygamy does not concern females, it is not her decision to make, it is the decision of the man if he would like to practice polygamy or not. females have no choice about accepting polygamy.
It is so disappointing to see that there is really no difference between Muslim men and non-Muslim men. A married man who is comfortable taking on another wife, without even informing his first wife, is not a man of good character.
@L-Lawliet14A Kafir is much better than a Muslim! Why? Because he uses his brain and rejects false religions like Islam. And he also doesn't say its okay to marry 6 years old because his prophet did so, nor does he beat his wife saying its ok because his holy book said so.
I can’t believe you just said that You see a Muslim man the same as a disbeliever You need help then, you could’ve said some not just Muslim men as a whole
The first time I'm realising that Ali Dawah lacks wisdom and maturity. He shouldn't be propagating the idea that the wife is to blame for men who are adulterous. A sincere, God fearing man, won't make such a flimsy excuse.. 'God made us men weak'.!! 🤦 An adulterer will still be an adulterer, even if he takes two, three or four wives. Men should stop looking at women as trophies, but as responsibilities. And stop blaming women for their own flaws and weakness.
Getting another wife because he's no longer attracted to the first one is also a dead end. All women lose their cute spark after birthing children due to weight gain and aging. You can't just divorce all four after aging and weight gain.
When the man isn’t there and his wife is lustful, should she cheat? By this logic she’s entitled to. When his libido drops, when he’s sick, when he is tired, while he’s a work, you know the men work long hours. 😂
Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
Ali, when you ask a fellow brother “Do you ever wish to have a second wife?” and he says, “No”, don’t immediately object/become cynical. Understand the nuance of your own question. As a young man myself, I completely agree with you that all men have the desire to have multiple sexual/romantic partners, but that doesn’t mean that all Muslim men want multiple wives. While there are plenty of Muslim men out there who would deny wanting multiple wives in fear of upsetting their current wife, there are also plenty of men out there who deny this because they do not want to take on the religious, emotional, and financial responsibilities that come with marrying more than one woman. So when the brother to the right of MH or the husband of sister Amira says that they are not interested in a second wife, they’re not lying. The sister in the white hijab made a good point at 56:57 when she said that you don’t let anyone say no to your question. I’m sure you already understand all this, but please understand the nuance of the question your asking.
@malakelgendy2580 I don’t think he’s pushing for men to choose polygamy, I think he’s trying to eliminate the stigmatization surrounding polygamy, which is a good thing.
might be good reasons even Islamic countries don't want to encourage all men to practice polygamy. This will lead to wealthy men monopolizing the majority of women, up to 4 each as there will be no negative stigma and womren are told there's nothing you can do about it and can't ask for divorce for this reason. Long-term, more and more men will remain single. More and more children will be related to each other and cannot marry each other, so this will lead to a reduction in population for that country. The LDS Mormons are routinely kicking out young men from their society bc there are not enough women and the polygynous men want to protect their multiple wives and not share with the young men. Thus, instead of telling women they're selfish for not wanting to share their one husband, men are actually selfish for demanding multiple wives at times where such a drastic measure is not required, i.e., wars and not enough men, etc.
Exactly 👏🏻 what Ali fails to understand, we all lust & desire to fulfil our desire (we females too with men) but it’s not ideal, it’s dunya there is problems having multiple partners, in dunya we wer given the emotion jealousy - one of the most ugliest traits, when we practise on the that emotion, we are unrecognisable. My husbands brother has 2 wives from abroad, while they play happy family the first wife secretly harms seconds wife’s kids (broke one of the child’s arm, telling the 3 yr old to jump of a high furniture, another time another child was drowned in bath) What these selfish men don’t get how they make these women practise on this emotion,,they turn so evil & it’s cos they can’t take their anger out on the man so they harm each other & others around them - what kind of shitty life is that. People to be comfortable with lying day in day out - shows signs of narcism, character defect. Ali’s rubbish mentality is rubbing off on hijabi. Sorry BUT Combined : These men are dead ugly to be thinking any hot women will be willing to share their spouse, maybe bunch of low grade females but 9 or 10/10 - no way!
The problem with marrying other women secretly is that if a scenario arises where the father passes away without telling the wives and children about the others, there is a chance that some of them may get married to eachother without knowing that the other is a half sibling. Wouldn’t that be a problem?
@@moonwalkerr87 100%. people find out they are from the same caste ( talking about my ethnicity ) just because of a surename and find out their grandparents/ great grandparents were cousin... if they can find this out so easily after speaking two times... surely they will know if theyre step siblings soon enough
So many people who are unrelated have the same last name. Lying, creates fitna. Avoid lying. Be honest to people you love. The basics have become a luxury to have in today's world. A father who lies raises children who thinks it's ok to lie. You build a community with a lot of sickness in it. Don't lie.
He doesn't seem to understand the weight of the question. The question he wants to ask is, 'if your wife was happy would marry a woman just for sex' but obvs can't ask that. Majority of men don't want a headache and know having a second wife is a recipe for a headache. He has to work more, earn more, spend more, more responsibility, two people to protect, two sets of kids. It's long
Saying “well she’s not going to be okay with so that is why I lied” is ridiculous. If a woman lied to you about having children because you wouldn’t accept it would you be okay with that?
It is halal for Muslim men to lie to their wives, especially when it comes to marrying a second secret wife. That is why they do it. And as a Muslim woman, there's nothing you can really do about it.
I think it’s the secrecy that bothers me more than anything. I would want my husband to love and trust me enough to speak to me about anything. A second wife and a secret wife are two very different things in my mind.
So you're okay with your husband marrying and sleeping with extra women as long as he discusses this beforehand with you? The things that Islam does to women...sad.
@@shabs2134 It's not sad. It's to protect society. Many men cheat on their wives simply because one woman wasn't enough. You shouldn't speak on this if you know nothing.
The more I see these conversations the more I turn away from marriage and pray for a spouse in Jannah instead. May Allah help us all especially those who are married.
Sad times. I don't even understand why this is even a discussion. Times have changed, it's very difficult to maintain even one marriage nowadays let alone multiple. If you can then good for you but almost every guy I know is fine with just one wife.
@@HabiburRahman-zo5ot What is sad is that we live in a time where zina is widespread everywhere. THAT IS SAD. What is also sad is that Muslims going against what is halal and speaking negative about it. THAT IS SAD. The solution for fighting zina is marriage! Ecourage halal, don’t criticize what is halal. Rather speak against evil.
Why is cheating okay? Something is wrong here. Also the guy says all men are polygamist by nature. I disagree because I am not. A woman could be polygamist as well. You just need to control your animal self.
Take it up with Allah and His Rasul (SAW). If you don't feel the way these men do, fine. That just means you're the exception. In these types of discussions we're always speaking on the rule aka the majority. Fact is, like brother Ali said, if you had 0 consequences to face from marrying more than one woman at the same time would you do it? For men, 99.9% of time it is a resounding yes. What's animalistic about it? Allah made us this way.
@@philoso6691oh please stop with the bs. Woman aren't monogamous as well. They are polygamous on the same footing. Please bring out more nicer arguments.
It’s men like this that make me question Islam sometimes..why do they not read the full ayah? What about the orphans that god mentions they should take second wives for? It’s literally the same verse, why do they read the second part only??
Because the first part has nothing to do with condition to marry more, ALLAH said if you fear to be unjust with orphans, To marry others women than them, 2 or 3 or 4 that is the limit. Because men's back days wanted orphans withlut be just in mehr, or their wealth, read the tafseer
With all due respect, I think brother Hijab is taking liberties with interpretation of that hadeeth about lying between spouses. White lies to please your wife are permitted. Otherwise, lying is haram.
That's your opinion as a layman which means nothing. Scholars from the various madhabs agree that men can lie to their wives and need no permission for fulfilling their Islamic rights. Muslimas are simply meant to obey and accept unless it's something obviously against Islam.
@@AmeeB-oo1lrThe point is Islam allows it. You can lie to your wife according to Islam. Sure, it means Islam allows a man to be untrustworthy, but that's his Islamic right.
@@shabs2134 Islam does not allow men to be untrustworthy at all and that is certainly not his Islamic right to be so. I had to double check what you’ve written because I was confused if you are a Muslim or a sarcastic non Muslim?
@@shabs2134 Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
The only reason why these young men want a second wife is because of their sexual desires, not the charity. Each of our Prophet's (pbuh) marriages had a purpose and they were not for sexual purposes. The Qur'an also states that one wife is better. Allah says in the Quran, "And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].” (Surah An-Nisa, Ayat 129) Nevertheless, if these men want to satisfy their worldly desires by risking their hereafter, they can do so.
I think you forget, the main purpose of marriage is to protect the private parts. So what if they want to get married for sexual desire. If the desire is not fulfilled with one then if he is able to, then it is actually advised to marry again.
The Qur'an also makes no such statement that "one wife is better". What nonsense. If anything, the Qur'an encourages polygyny as Allah mentioned the man to marry in 2s' 3s and 4s FIRST, and ONLY if he is unable to be just should he settle for one. The verse you quoted clearly refers to a man not being able to be equal in "feelings", he is not held accountable for feeling more for one than the other. He is only held accountable for being just in TREATMENT. There is a hadith where the Prophet said, calling out to Allah: I have distributed the war booty equally to all my wives, so do not hold me accountable for what is in my heart. (General translation) So having a favourite doesn't matter, treating them all fairly is what matters.
The summary of the debate: emotions and feelings are fine as long as it's the men's Their desire for intimacy with a second wife Their fear of how their wives will react. Desire and fear are still emotions and feelings.
@@shimmer4771 Jealousy comes from love. Of knowing your partner will be intimate and in love with someone else, while he forgets about your love in those moments. Women who are OK with this don't love their husbands and have other things they focus on. Same with women who married a man they didn't love from the start. They would rather have him away from them as long as possible. Even find him other wives themselves to not have to deal with him for too long.
Show me anywhere in Quran or Hadith where it says we can go behind our wife's back to marry another, you have to mention this to first wife! What kind of nonsense is this WALLAHI
Part 2 should include guests who are involved or have been involved in these types of situations. Would be very helpful to get insight from first hand experience
@@firasshaker7917 yea hes right. but we talking about right and wrong. not if you should or not and it was cleary mentioned in the video cleary u didnt watch
Islam allowed polygamy but also it is extremely hard to meet the condition of being fair to all wives. If you end up being unfair, you are resurrected with a paralyzed half. Let that sink in before you get a second wife brothers.
@@SamirSiraj8542 it’s not about being practicing or not. It’s the practical things. Women have a lot of emotional needs and require a lot of attention when they go through pregnancy etc. In this day and age, it’s already so hard to work and spend time with your wife and children. Unknowingly, a man might end up being unjust. And there were Sahaba who feared this 1400 years ago. Allah made this permissible but the men should consider all factors.
@@SamirSiraj8542 Yes, you are right in a way. But I’m sure you have other qualities like empathy and perhaps you are knowledgeable about women’s psychology. But trust me, most men have no idea how to handle even one wife, let alone 2 or 4.
I can't help but notice that Ali just doesn't allow anyone contradicting his opinion. Even if the man in the middle clearly said : NO I would NOT get a second wife, even if she was okay with it, he goes on to say 'we have to be brutally honest'. Well, maybe he's being brutally honest and that's the end of your argument
Ali allowed these women to contradict his opinion and even gave a sister a pass for standing a man on camera and called him a liar while he wasnt there.
He did that, because if you noticed, the brother's wife kept warning him before he started speaking. So how can we know if he was being honest, or he was being careful of what he was saying, as she told him to?
Would you say that about women’s rights? Should a wife have to make clear that her job is for herself and the money is for her personal use rather than the family? Should a wife have to make clear that it is her right to have children?
@@Beyonder1987it’s not a western standard lmfaooo…… no woman wants to share her husband. Some women become okay with it but that doesn’t mean that’s our nature…cause it’s not at all. Just like men protect, women are PROTECTORS in way a man will never be. And some men don’t understand this. We protect EVERYTHING of ours. Including our men. That’s our nature. Y’all trying to go against a woman’s natural biological ways. If a woman desires this okay. Also the in west, u will find many open minded women with polygamy because we know men are dogs and they are for the streets. This video literally proved that point. At the end they said it’s all about desire….. 🤦🏽♀️
Ali asked one of the guys if he would get a second wife, he said no. He did not like the answer, so he accuses him of lying, and says a lie detective test will change your answer to yes lol then he goes on a rant and answers on behalf of the other guy
Ali Dawah needs to address polygamy properly. I didn't even watch the video. If he doesn't handle it the right way, he may turn sisters away from marriage. Js.
PAUSE. So a women can forgo her nights in contract to share with other wife but as soon as a women requests for the man to forgo his right to other wives that's haram and saying like make halal wrong? Why do only women women forgo rights for the desires of men but man can't forgo right for the desires of a woman? May Allah swt guide us
Salaam alaikum. I love that we have young men and women discussing the issues here. But I wish there was an elderly scholarly moderator in the presence who is patient in listening and wiser in responding. I felt that a lot of times our brothers and sisters are quick to wanting to respond with loaded arguments. Still a very useful discussion, jazakAllah Khair.
Hebr 1,2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, *by whom also he made the worlds;* as everyone can see the term Son of God refers to the Word of God = god himself! For through that God created the worlds! *what a mistake in the Qur'an!*
Sahih al-Bukhari 2658 Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?" The women said, "Yes." He said, "This is because of the deficiency of a woman's mind."
@@CD-123this talks about their ability to recall from memory what they witnessed. It does not mean that what they have to say on other matters is equal half of what a man has to say. Intellectual discussions are for both men and women.
@@lawunmibalogun2971 Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
@@hellofkn3282not everyone does boo. Just like not all muslim men are polygamous or how should I say not all Muslims are terrorists. Stop with the stereotype if y'all hate it so much
We also need to talk about the stories of 2nd wives being used, abused and discarded, especially revert sisters. May Allah swt keep us on the straight path. 2nd wives are not an outlet, they are WIVES as well to be provided for and protected. Brothers need to focus on the reality of plural marriage and the actually responsibilities and consequences. Sisters need to understand that him taking a second wife does not mean you are any less. May Allah swt make it easy for all the marriages. Ameen.
Some of these revert sisters have an Arab/Paki "Prince Ali Ababwa" fetish, and aren't prepared for their new in-laws basically turning into the mafia once the marriage happens. Sad stuff.
I have seen this type of abuse towards revert sisters an embarrassing number of times. Sisters flock to Islam and the light of this deen and lose all good judgment when dealing with sometimes selfish and self serving guys with zero intention to do right and uphold her rights. They abuse the fact that she is often ignorant to what he is responsible for by Allah’s guidance. It’s not right.
@@mimo4856 Sister, you sound extremely jaded and it takes a blackened heart to say such things. Why would anyone wish harm or hurt upon a fellow sister in Islam? It was the husband that made the decision. This kind of attitude is toxic and un-Islamic. Allah is the most just. If a woman is unable to maintain herself spiritually under such circumstances, she can divorce. But if she is content and he is living up to his duties and/or children are involved she should definitely consider her children and the difficulties of single parenthood. Single parenthood is bad for children and society. Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “None of you will have faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 13, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 45
As a new Muslim who used to be in polyam relationships before I converted, I'd say there's no question deceiving your wife and marrying another without her knowledge is simply not conductive to a healthy loving relationship regardless if it's allowed or not. I'd also say from my experience many people (men and women) are simply not equipped to be just, fair and equally emotionally present in poly relationships (that in no way means there aren't people who can't have fair, honest and loving poly marriages tho). With that being said, there needs to be an open conversation and we should acknowledge most men would jump at a chance to not be limited by a monogamous marriage and should not be demonized for it. Expecting one's partner to feel unfulfilled in a mono relationship and suppressing their nature only for one's own benefit is also hardly love.
The 4 wife permission was actually a limit as much as I have learned. Because before that, man could have as many women as they wanted. In times of war, it made sense to have multiple wifes because of lack of man and widowed women. It also made sense to have multiple wifes for leaders and such from other nations, tribes etc to establish peace between the two nations etc. but its adviced, suggested to have one wife. Also because having multiple wifes is extremely hard, not just financially but also in means of equal treatment of each wife is very hard. In the future if there are such cases of war or relative reasons go for it maybe. But it is crucial to be fair amongs them 😊. May Allah guide us all and increase our wisdom and understanding.
These are mostly excuses paving the way for normalizing a 1 wife society like the west. A women is better provided for being the 2nd wife of a good Muslim and strong provider than the only wife of a left over man. Women are hypergamous. It is not only for war and no where is that specified. "Musy treat them fairly" is also true of 1 wife and yet we do not constantly cite it as a deterent to the first marriage. Muslims around the world are deeply engaged in Zina which is haram 100% and yet Muslims create barriers and discourage a part of marriage polygyny that is totally halal and fairness would only be known by those in yhe marriage, no outsider could even have such knowledge. Those who have made marriage harder, have made Zina easier. And we see the results both in the west and the foolish Muslims who follow them.
Yes absolutely right, and people misuse this for the lust, distressing the first wife causing havic at home too desperate to have a second wife evn 3rd getting mad with their own children because they are desperate to fulfil their lust amd feed their sex desperation idiotic men, i repeat idiotic stupid low life of a half a man who has no self control no decipline, thinks about a secomd wife or even 3/4th. With no care in the world that he is destroying his peaceful life, messing up his wifes mental state, messing around with her head, and how that has an adverse effect on the children too. Pathetic and selfish idiotic lusty men. END OF. BUNCH OR IDIOTS AND LOWLIFES
Bro no. Just no. If you see pretty gyal and you want her you can Talk her you don’t have search a reason I want to Make world peace with my marriage like you crippin tho? Beautiness and fear of zina is reason enough as a men to Marry another one.
@@rpgixhdh8045 you will never make your wives happy. Unless they all equally agree and accept. Even the God told the prophet he will NEVER be able to deal with them equally. The prophets heart cried out to Allah about this.
Let this sink in -> just saying that you can ‘lie’ for a greater good. And the greater good is nothing but you saving yourself from your wife’s broken heart. Is purely satanic. It’s like the devil smiles knowing that god’s creations are living in stupidity. Where the woman thinks her lover is true. And the man thinks he is going to Heavan after lying his adult life. There is a fix though. To stop and repent and make it up to her.
Muslim ladies take your power back. You have the right to be in a monogamous relationship! It breaks my heart to hear this issue and how it is supported by Islam. It’s wrong and it’s not good for families. Women in all religions suffer but to have a religion enforce this law makes things worse. I love the way these ladies supported their views. ✝️ God created Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Eves!
lol take this L According to your bible Abraham had three wives-Sarah, Hagar, and Keturah. Jacob, David, and Solomon all had multiple wives as well. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Uninformed fake adherent. You don’t even know your own religion
You will be judged on your intentions. Your intentions are not defined by what you claim aloud. They are defined by what you actually seek within your heart. No ruling in Islam is given for you to take as a green light to do what you desire just because you desire it. Are you allowed to drink water? Obviously, yes. But let's say you are standing next to a thirsty orphan while you are holding a jug of water. You yourself are not thirsty. You notice that the orphan is thirsty but you do not give any water to the orphan. Instead, you drink your water and walk away. There are Muslims who think they would be spared punishment for denying water on the basis that drinking their own water is not haram. But that isn't how it works. You will be asked on the day of judgement about why you withheld the water from the orphan. As well you will be asked about why you took a second wife and why you hid her from your first. It being halal is not a reason why. It is only a justification. You will be asked about your intention in doing so.
And hijab precisely said that. He gave an example of sugar. Sugar in and of itself is halal to eat but for a diabetic person it might be harmful enough to be declared haram for them. Likewise, getting a secret second wife isn't prohibited in the religion of Islam, but we need to look into the outcome of implementing this ruling. And taking this into consideration, Hijab adviced against a secret second wife. And i personally do agree with him. It's very likely to lead to unequal treatment of both wives to maintain the secret.
@CosmotheSeedrian06 Not only the freedom - but the morals. I don't have to live like women in Islam anymore. I don't have to defend someone marrying a child. I don't have to defend the killings. 🥰
It’s not obligatory to tell fist wife about second. Then don’t ask a woman to take care of ur old mother when she needs it. It’s not obligation on her either. If u remove love and respect from islam this is what happens
If someone is happy with his current wife, why would he want to get married with another one! Realistically, it's very difficult to maintain two households.
Allah created Adam and Eve, if it were so dire for a man to have more than one wife, He would have made two women. It is a capability of man to have more than one wife, NOT a neccessity. Big difference.
But if allah didn't tell Mohammed saw to marry his other 11 wifes after khadija ra he would never (2 died so he married 2 again because allah said so and 4 are because during war they had to touch him to protect him but its haram before marriage so he married the other 4 for war but not all in the same war)
@@Adam-bc2ov They are arguing man is polygamous by NATURE. Was Adam not part of this nature? And you're the one saying nonsense, Allah could have just created another woman for Adam if it was his "nature" or "default".
@_nafisa_ exactly. They conveniently forget that the first man ever created, was monogamous. These men need to just admit that they are driven by their desires, not noble intentions.
Wow what is happening with the man here! The bar is set so low for man yet so unbelievably high for woman. I think this issue is the woman make excuses for his bad behaviour, you accepted his obvious lies, and you gave him another chance again and again. You sold yourself short, you didn’t believe you deserved better. A woman is not a commodity or a toy of amusement but a real partner to man who has right of her own and deserves utmost respects.
Just because something is permissible, doesn’t mean it’s recommended. People really need to learn the difference. I don’t see enough people making that distinction
@@Dukeyunuz where’s your evidence to suggest that it is recommended? There are multiple verses in the Quran that tell us how polygamy was born out of a need i.e. to support widows, spread the teachings of Islam etc. Allah swt also tells us how it is impossible to love all wives the same and so it is even more incumbent on the man to ensure he marries multiple wives for good reason as opposed to just pleasure.
@@amala5099 I’m really sorry but who is your exegete, these are mostly add ons by western media to cater for western audience to make a case for polygyny. And just so you know pleasure is just as important a reason for polygyny as any so if one isn’t satisfied with his wife then he should just commit zina?
@@amala5099 there’s nothing about loving equal, the prophet pbuh did not love all his wives equal unless if you haven’t heard of the Hadith where he clearly mentioned loving Aisha more than anyone else in the world the requirements is fair treatment, so reread your fiqh sister!
I have to say that this perception we have of men being evil horndogs or women being manipulative or emotionally insecure is ridiculous in real life. It is never that simple. Being in a wonderful marriage myself, I understand that most men want an emotionally and physically satisfying marriage just as much as women do, and they’re perfectly happy to have one partner in a mutually loving relationship so long as it’s just that: a mutually loving relationship. If two people have fulfilling each other’s needs and wants and just love one another deeply and complete one another where the other falls short, it’s very rare to see this sort of dilemma occur. Hawa completed this for Adam - Allah didn’t create a hundred wives for Adam to populate the earth or exercise his human desire, rather he created a loving comfort of a spouse for him to find repose in. When such an emotional and mental gap is fulfilled, one finds satisfaction and contentment in the spouse they have. Islam recognizes that not all marriages work like this. Islam recognizes that we come from various cultures where the concept of loveless and emotionally void marriages are commonplace. Islam recognizes that some marriages are political, or some spouses are just fine being emotionally unconnected and share a family. Islam recognizes that for some men, their upbringing and past experiences can create a desire for infidelity and no satisfaction in just one spouse. Had they been kafir, they would have been chronic cheaters. Islam recognizes this diversity in environment and culture and offers a legal limitation to men, but it also offers us a glimpse into the love lives of our Prophets and the men of the Quran and Sunnah, and gives us the opportunity to choose our stories for ourselves.
A man can be in a fulfilling relationship and still want more wives. Does it mean he is an evil hell dog? No. All you have summarized and mentioned is correct and beautifuly stated. But let's not undermine the fact that men have these desires and they are perfectly normal. The key here is to control our desires by lowering our gaze and fulfill our desires in a halal manner with our spouse. Sometimes though, the desire can't be matched by the wife, which can lead to a void and at some point maybe even to divorce. There are enough muslim men who fear Allah and fulfill their obligations towards there women, loving and caring for them and still find themselves with the desire unmet and therefore frustrated. Those men are villified for the exact reason that women just can't understand why someone that is emotionally satisfied with their women and have intercourse regularly can't be fully satisfied with just that. It's hard to explain, but still it is a reality hitting many men. I hope that the discussion turns away from villifying something that is halal to understanding the good men, the men with taqwa and not villify them for what is natural.
@@Btraain Polyamory is purely a cultural and personality-based behavior, and not entirely biologically as we believe it to be, and like I said, Islam recognizes that and gives way to fulfill that in a halal manner. But I have yet to find an example of a deeply emotionally connected couple with great intimacy where the man is still sexually unfulfilled. And maybe what you are talking about is not love. When you love someone, truly and sincerely, you would never do anything to hurt them. And like it or not, polygamy hurts women. Perhaps not all women, but many women, and everyone knows that. Let’s not play dumb. It will change your marriage forever and perhaps never be the same again, so the “love” you started out with wither into something like a transactional survival marriage or eventually break up. When my husband passes away, I likely won’t remarry, even though its 100% my right to Islamically. Why? Because I love and adore him, even when he’s gone, and because I know that he wouldn’t want me to, even though I can. My sex drive is higher than my husband’s, slightly, maybe because I’m younger. I have a right to divorce him based on my desire not being constantly met. Absolutely. But will I do it? No. Why? Because I love him. And it’s not big enough a deal for me to hurt him. It’s dunya, it’s temporary. Love changes everything. And marriage, a good marriage, is a compromise. So we should use the word “love” sparingly in this conversation. And I would need more than one example to really believe that is the case. Merely stating it as fact without evidence is not sufficient, and the As’hab were reverts with a very different culture and background, so it was a totally different experience for them. But the examples of many Prophets who had one partner, as well our first, Adam (as), is an example of the fact it is entirely possible to be satisfied and happy with one spouse. It simply depends on you - who you are, where you come from, your past, your preferences, your personality. And that’s why when getting married it is essential to consider all of those aspects for a mutually fulfilling marriage.
@@JewelsLaPerle these men are shit ..my father married my mother nd he never cheated her and there are millions of example like this just look in ur family
New generation of men want to pick and choose which part of Sunnah to follow.."Oh the Prophet PBUH had multiple wives - so will I"..."Oh the Prophet PBUH didnt have secret wives....well I dont have to follow that part of the Sunnah"
As a man who has 2 wives and have had 2 wives for years- the WORST thing you can do is not tell your first wife your getting married/have gotten married to a 2nd wife.
I don’t understand this point of view that Ali will not stop about where a man’s wish or desire is all important/ all encompassing and out of his own control. There are plenty desires/ temptations that Allah placed within a human being which we have to manage and control. Just because most men would want more than one woman is not the start and end of the discussion.
The problem is the whole point of polygony was to take care of widows and orphans and which is why men were instructed in the Quran now men sexualize it
I stopped watching. I just can't it's embarrassing. If the wife is not satisfying the husband at home are these men for real? They're not real men. How about, be a husband and investigate the issue and resolve it Work on your foreplay game inside and OUTSIDE the bedroom Flowers, gifts, massages Find out her love language Is she stressed? Do all this and she'll do the same for you and if she doesn't and you don't have the desire to do the above you got a big fish to fry.
These men sound like they hate women. These women become mothers who's feet become golden tickets. I just get super disrespectful vibes from dawah and hijab I wonder who hurt them
@lianafrancisca8380 I don't know about that but they demonstrate immaturity that's for certain. Smart topic to discuss for views that's for sure, not smart for the ummah given where the conversations went. It's okay to lie to your spouse ... Islam is not a religion of women's emotions..... Damn still can't believe he said this. It's just so low and infammatory, and will do nothing in terms of dawah, this has a net negative effect imo
@therebelliousprince0077 I don’t know go tell Fatima one of the greatest woman in the world why she was crying when she found out Ali was going to get a second wife and go tell Mohammed peace and blessings be upon him why he didn’t let Ali get a second wife because it hurts his daughter. On top of that when theirs a society that more woman are in a place then men then yes a virgin can marry a married man since theirs no other single man however nowadays statistics show theirs more woman then men so polygony should not be practiced today in age
A brother proposed to me, but didn't want to tell his first wife. I reminded him about the offspring being siblings, and that if he passed no one would be able to notify me. Also that if the Mirathi was not done properly he would suffer, so he must tell her or stick with just one.
obviously his 1st wife objected...so should he ask permission from her? That wouldn't make him a man. This is a tough decision by men! They love their wife, but they also love another woman whom they want to take as a wife/concubine. There is no simple answer. But the obvious answer for a wife or woman is, that they must love God and his laws and trust that just because their husband wants another wife, doesn't mean that he loves them any less or differently. In this case who would be able to counsel a wife on this matter? We can thank the Western Christian worlds influence on society for determining in the first place that a man can only have 1 wife! It's influence has permeated the whole world and influenced Islam, Buddaism, Judaism, Hindu, etc...
@@kephersit’s not about permission it’s just to tell her because no matter what she will end up finding out. And if she finds out 10 years from now when you have multiple children with the other wife I think it will absolutely destroyed her and you children with her. Plus the kids could have been friends if they got the chance to grow up together but you took that away from them and they most likely will not like each other or even hate each other.
If having a secret marriage is justifiable, I don’t know what to say.. we need to respect the wife too, let her know and give her the choice to leave or stay. Anyone needs to hear the truth, because truth will come sooner or later
A secret marriage is justifiable. If you listened properly, you would have known. If you don't want to accept the truth, there's nothing wrong with the truth, it's a problem with yourself.
@@999legend8 then what abt this hadth of ibn majah 1896 It was narrated from Muhammad bin Hatib that the Messenger of Allah said: “What differentiates between the lawful and the unlawful is the Daff and raising the voices at the time of marriage
A lot of Wives will demand divorce and take the children and the family will be destroyed and the kids life will shatter into pieces with broken homes, Even If the man or the woman get married it's not guaranteed that the new wife/Husband are willing to take care of the children so a lot of the time it's better to keep it a secret from the wife because she can't control her emotions and will act up radically and will regret her decision.
Polygamy in Islam isn't permitted over lust or desire, in fact, what Islam did about this issue is put a limit to the number of women a man can marry. If there is not material need for it, then do not do it, don't even think about doing it behind your wife's back, its a huge disrespect towards her. Islam obviously discourages polygamy. If you do not care about your wife's feelings, why should she care about your desires???
Because if she doesn't, Angles will curse her all night, a wife in islam owes her husband her body, she will go to hell if she refuses. Read sahih bukhari you will see.
@@kinglaw1882 Thats wrong otherwise the prophet wouldn't have married 8 wives who were all widows and divorcees! A man usually doesn't lust over divorcees so you are lying against the prophet!
@@JH-zs3bs same goes for the man lol if he doesnt fulfill her and breaks her and hurts her hes cursed by angels too i guess u haven't read the full hadith
Polygamy is NOT mandatory in Islam. It IS obligatory to be honest and truthful. Lying is haram. So at least the issue of lying should be settled. In order to have more than one wife a man must be completely fair. Most human beings will not be able to do so. Since polygamy is not mandatory and complete fairness is required and Lying is haram, a man should not be selfish and cowardly. Discuss this matter before you get married. Choose a spouse that is compatible.
Complete fairness in giving equal time commitment and money resources is very very difficult. There is a reason Jesus created a new standard that marrying another woman is adultery. Jesus is real prophet, Muhammad is not a real prophet.
I'm terrified to get married. The more I look at how much I'll be sacrificing to him as a woman, literally rearranging my organs to give us children...I cannot imagine a worse thing than having him turn around and marry someone else. I don't think our human nature is the end all be all. The element which separates us from animals is that we are able to have second layer decision making skills/free will outside of our basic instincts. If a man isn't intelligent enough to have a brain beyond an animal instinct, that is super unattractive to me. It's just not my preference :/ There are men who love their wives and would rather not be with another woman. Why? Because of emotional connection. I believe the polygamous nature of males is majority sexual, you can't go around falling in love with everyone with the same quality of feeling. I really have a hard time believing there will be equal love between all wives, at the end of the day someone will always have less no matter what. I also don't want his attention to be divided leading to less overall involvement in me and my children. Seeing how much I'll give, I expect someone to give their all to me also. I'll make it clear to any potentials that if he wants multiple wives to look elsewhere. End
Men can fall in love with many women and not just based on sexual needs too. Men and women are different biologically, the more you understand the easier it would be for you. Majority of men don't even have multiple wives so you got nothing to worry about. But if you are worried then put a clause in the contract that says you can divorce if he marries another woman. Marriage works when both husband and wife agrees with what they want
I understand your point. However, it is impossible for him to love them equally. He has to spend his nights and money fairly on them. The wives don't have to live together if they don't want to. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "Allah has decreed jihad on men and jealousy on women. Whoever bears that with patience seeking the reward will receive it without reckoning." Besides, Allah tells us, "Humans are swayed by greed." This is also our nature. Jealousy and women being greedy is also expected. Just talk to him before getting married.
@@j86485 yeah that’s what I’ll do inshallah, it’s better to get this topic out of the way BEFORE marriage. I also believe women can love multiple times, I think it depends on the person not the gender. I’d prefer someone who wants to focus all their love on one because I’ll also do that for him
MH said:"I'm not gonna follow the religion of women's feelings." Is islam not also the religion of children's feelings, when they are affected by their mother's heart ache? How are these men honorable for their own selfish desires, while they cosigned to monogamy at first to even find a wife?
Because Islam gives men such rights. If Allah allows Muslim men to indulge in their fetishs (having extra women), then that should tell you that Islam *does not* respect women.
@@shabs2134 It's not a fetish, it's a natural desire. Men are polygamous by nature. Why do you think Rich men cheat with multiple women? Why do you think Men had concubines as spoils of war in the past? It's what they want. That's why Allah allowed polygamy for men through marriage. So that they won't be dead beats and will be responsible for their women. Marriage keeps the family unit intact. Keep coping.
@@B0ss_Editz Humans are a pair bonding species, most men throughout human history have only ever had *one* wife or no wife at all. You obviously have to defend this sexual degeneracy because this is what your degenerate prophet taught and practiced. Some powerful men throughout history have had concubines and sex slaves, that doesn't make it right. Morality is objective, what is wrong today will always be wrong whether in the past or in the future. Enslaving and raping women will always be wrong. It seems you are the one who is coping hard because you're the one trying to defend the indefensible. So I say - *keep coping* 🤙
I can't believe they make guys who won't get a second wife out of respect for their wife just as praiseworthy as someone who secretly gets a second wife. If he dies in a car accident, siblings of the second and first wife might marry each other by mistake. How can you just disregard the sabr of a monogamous man like that? Our prophet (saw) was also monogamous for a very long time with Khadija.
Wtf, this guy has gone insane. He's literally encouraging muslim men to marry more than 1 in today's world. Ladies you make sure your husband doesn't come through this guy.
This is what your god and his prophet encourage. Leave Islam and trust in Jesus. He sacrificed himself for your sins because he loves you, unlike this god that your worship. Jesus offers you forgiveness of all your sins, including the ones that you are too ashamed to tell anyone about. God sees everything so He knows all those evil sins you’ve committed and He hates them. He will judge everyone who has sinned against Him, including me and you. But He is offering forgiveness through Jesus only. God bless you. May He guide you to Jesus.
In a marriage if you want to build a great relationship with your spouse you have to be transparent. You cannot lie to one another especially when it’s something so huge as wanting to marry again, the first wife has a right to know and decide if she would still be happy in the relationship, regardless of the consequences. There are women who are ok with polygamy and there are women who strongly prefer monogamy. Its important to build great communication with your spouse, work through your issues in your marriage and try your best to keep each other happy. If you want something great you have to work hard for it! May Allah swt help and guide us all, Ameen.
@@awrjkf Being transparent with your wife and truthful in your relationship is not called "feminism". Lying is a sin. It's important to treat your spouse with respect, this is what islam teaches us. It is the 1st wife's right to know if her husband wants to marry a 2nd wife, if she's not happy with it, she has a choice to get a divorce.
I rather be single or un alive, then be pressured by a man who picks and chooses (conveniently) his “rights” in religion, and marries another women. Especially in secrecy.
@@yourdaddy3571 LOL I’m married, have children, 1 on the way, we own a business together and I don’t need my “daddy”, as you say. I have fully adapted to my husband’s family. Sorry, your wife couldn’t do the same with you. 😂 Be careful what you say.
@@yourdaddy3571 Additionally, I don’t have competition. I’ll not compete - at all. If I ever felt the sense to compete - game over. My husband nor I would be in the positions we are if it wasn’t for one another’s support and actions together. Stay blinded by appearance only, I have that as well. My husband scored, as so did I.
@@Karatefit101 you mean wives 😂😂 See, as you relegated your husband, no one can relegate me! I’m a strong personality type sweetie, you’ll be doing dishes all day if you tired horsing around at my house! 😂🤣
@@abumusab7060 the men are sitting separate to the women and the women are covered, and they’re talking about a purposeful topic, bring me a Hadith or verse from the Quran that forbids this if you’re so righteous
Adding the "completely equally and fulfilling all responsibilities equally to all wives" to the topic of polygamy is unbelievably important and also constantly left out. Many men do not understand how difficult this task is. If you cannot do this, which most men would not be able to do so 100% without error, it becomes haram. Do not forget that. Personally as a man in my late 20s who still isnt married, I dont see it being possible for me unless, InshaAllah, Allah makes me super successful and rich in life. To take care of myself and one wife in this economy alone is difficult, hence why I am still not married. Add a child to that, its exponentially more difficult. My ego and pride are not so big and filled with delusion that I would think, "Yes I can easily take care of 2 wives and multiple children without bias or 100% equity". Also I agree with the brother who is on there with his wife, it dont feel the need to have a second wife. That goes to a different topic, you must choose your wife very carefully. If you do, there should be no deficiency in the relationship in which you would then need to seek another, unless you simply have very active hormones, to which Allah knows best and has created us all differently, so I will not judge you. But the average person should strive to find a woman they can be completely content with, and women should strive to satisfy their husbands so they do not feel the need for another woman.
@@shimmer4771 I didn't mention love at any point. Also, someone thinking they can do something that clearly isn't feasible isn't them having inflated ego or being delusional? At best I'd call that very overconfident, which is an understatement when talking about taking on 2 or more wives and treating them equally. I'm not saying people who can do it are egotistical or delusional, I'm referring to myself(if I thought I could pull it off successfully as I am now) and/or men who do try it but don't do it correctly.
Why don't men who want a second wife tell about this before marriage to their first wife and if she is not ok then find someone else who is ok with it... Discuss all this before marriage....and if your wife said before marriage that she is not ok with you taking another wife and still you married her then you should not take another wife... Simple... all these things should be discussed before marriage... So such conflicts won't arise
@@NiceGuy88 yeah you can do that as per Islam but culturally if a women demands to puts any condition in her nikah contract forget about this any...she will be called names and judged that she is bossy and has started keeping terms even before marriage what will she do after the marriage etc etc... She will have a bad reputation before even getting married... Sadly our sick culture is like that... So it's better that the man informs her before marriage that he has such intentions of having second wife and that will help her and the guy to pick correct person... Also avoiding marriage with the wrong person is way better than get the marriage annulled... Coz in later case the kids might be affected... So it's best men discuss these things before marriage
@@sanahgdcvh Your points are also somewhat, right, sister, I actually didn't think of these. May Allah(S.W.T) grant you a righteous husband and bless you and keep you steadfast. Ameen.
@@NiceGuy88 in your logic the man can put in his condition that the wife also should not command anything other then what he obligated to do (providing:food and clothes and home) Cuz she can't ask the man to pay for medical care cuz it's not obligated. In my opinion if the man is wealthy and he can take care of multiple wife's he must get married to multiple women cuz a lot of sisters are single and struggling to find a good partner.
as a muslim man who loves the idea of having more than 1 wife, I do not think it's okay to just go marry another woman without even discussing with your current wife, that's just very messed up. imagine if your father brought along another woman home and said she's also your mother. wtf? these "men" should have some shame.
@@nova5stars729 you know that men are tested in their rights? meaning that just because ur allowed to have more than 1 doesn’t mean u have the right? if ur motived are not of the sunnah it would end up in a disaster anyways but it needs wisdom to actually understand that men are TESTED in their rights. and if it causes fitna between u and ur wife, fine do it. but then don’t cry if u bear witness in front of allah for causing fitna between u and ur wife
Listening to all this drama makes me appreciate being singel. And should my (future) husband wish a second wife I am gonna tell him " There is the door, hasta lavista baby". My sanity and mental well-being is my ticket to Jannah. Most of the time polygyny in our time and age brings down a women and her iman.
Although you have good point with wellbeing/sanity and Iman, if it would happen, it would ultimately happen cause Allah swt. allowed it, to test you and if you would just do that "hasta la vista" thing, I dont think you'd pass the test. But most men still cannot afford more than 1 wife anyway, not only materially but also psychophysically cause the life is already too demanding even as solo person, let alone with 2 other persons to respond to, so I'd imagine for most men it's more of a detriment than a benefit, even for those who can afford it.
Polygyny also saves a lot of people from zina. Lots of single and divorced sisters who cannot find good brothers. What about that? Lots of men who want second wives instead of haram relationships (which is available everywhere and is easy). What about that? Lots of career Muslim women who want part time husbands as a second or third wife. How about that? It’s easy to say «polygamy is not for this day and age». What about those problems I just mentioned? And most importantly: What about people’s chastity (which is priority number one and main objective of nikah)? It’s easy to say «I’ll divorce and show him the door». Is it easy to remarry and remain chaste? If chastity is not a concern then there is no need to care about polygyny. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Polygamy is illegal in Canada and is considered a criminal offense under the Criminal Code: Definition Polygamy is defined as having a conjugal relationship with more than one person at the same time. This includes bigamy, which is marrying someone while already married to another. Penalties The penalty for polygamy is up to five years in prison. Prosecutions Prosecutions for polygamy are rare, but the law was upheld in 2011. In 2014, Winston Blackmore and James Oler were charged with polygamy. Challenges The law has faced challenges under the Charter due to issues of religious freedom. Public opinion There is widespread public opposition to polygamy in Canada, with 82% of Canadians opposing its legalization. Canada's first laws against polygamy were passed in 1890, and were initially targeted at Mormons. The criminalization of polygamy is based on the assumption that it has an adverse impact on women and children.
M Hijab is unfair to use words like 'worship' regarding a woman's feelings. A sincere, caring, Muslim man will always consider the feelings and emotions of his wife. We aren't robots. We are humans and Allah has made women sensitive with feelings and emotions.
@TheRebelliousPrince001, a woman's emotional and physical needs aren't her 'whims and desires'. I don't have 'whims and desires'. I have a mature, reasonable mindset, been married, Alhamdullillah for 27 yrs now so I'm more than qualified to speak on what constitutes a good marriage. Discarding your wife's concerns and ignoring her emotional well being won't make you a good or Islamic husband. Hijab is using the Islamic card unwisely. Islam permits 2,3 and 4 wives. Stop looking at it as a privilege, rather it's a huge responsibility. Why aren't these men travelling to Syria or Yemen to take on responsibility of widows and their children??
Are you a muslim? Did you just accuse your brother in faith to do "anything for clout"? Will you stand before Allah and tell Him that you know Ali Dawahs heart and intention to say these things? Or is Allah the Judge, the Witness and the All-Knowing? Brother, you can say I dislike XYZ in your video. XYZ is wrong, you should change XYZ because of XYZ but this is not it. But to dismiss your brother, discourage him and his effort to make islamic content is not the islamic way of giving advices. I hope you are a young boy who is a little careless in his youth, please overthink your comment.
When sisters threaten men with lies and not showing their kids and using state against them, you best damn believe the prophet pbuh and companions didn’t do this because they didn’t deal with such woman.
@fifi sweet even if the husband is a scholar, women wouldn't want polygamy. How many women actually like the idea of polygamy let alone accept it? Yet i see no man denying the rights of women given by Allah
Women dont want to share resources, ots all about money, women dont give an f about you, thats the real reason why women dont want polygamy, women are selfish creatures, advice to men, dont even worry about what females think or want , cuz all they want is what good for them not for you
For the women in the comments please understand the quran and sunnah supersedes your emotions. We are not talking about the man who is abusive and does not treat his wife good. Your so institutionalized by the western mindset that your willing to compromise on your religion. Your almost expecting the man to disobey the creator for your emotions. Islam has given women rights, it has empowered women to be where they are today. Its truly disgusting how you slander Muslim's just because it does not correlate with your feelings. THIS is the BITTER truth you guys must acknowledge.
Marrying a second wife should be done with extreme caution because if he can't do justice between the wives the punishment for him is severe. So I hope these brothers are thinking about that before they take this step. Anyway who can afford to have 2 wives. Not normal people.
They think about their se xual desires they don't care about punishment how do you know they are actuall Muslim and not atheists who taking advantage of Islam?
There are some crazy selfish men who thinks they can marry four wives and put them in one small house, to be stuck there fighting all day with too many children , no peace or privacy, but just putting them under one roof is sufficent and providing barely basic food and clothing. To them that’s fair.
@@kitty5872 May Allah guide them They need to fear Allah. And any woman who is in that situation should get out of the marriage. She has good reasons to.
I can't suffer the trauma of my husband marrying a second wife. I think it's better to go through life alone and not get married than deal with all this.
If you can keep your chastity staying single, that's fine. What is not okay is starting to look at haram and fantasizing etc, then it's time to get married. Chastity is priority number one.
I'm.. confused. Here is what I agree with; Polygamy is part of Islam ✅ You don't need permission from your first wife ✅ The nikkah is not a secret ✅ Yes men are by nature polygamous ✅ If men were given the option they would have multiple wives✅ What I don't understand is that, when the tafaseer was used as an example in relation to the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam and Mariya Kipti, is this- that Mariya Kipti was a bondswomen, she was not a wife. The Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam bedding her, was permissible for him because in that time bedding the women in your 'right hand possessions' (bondswomen) was acceptable, it was permissable. No such context exists now for muslim men to implement on. The example is entirely invalid because Mariya Kipti was not a wife. And the entire discussion is regarding marriage. The Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam did not hide a secret marriage from his other wives. The reason for hiding this intimacy could be entirely for a seperate reason (i.e the known jealousy/gheerah of the mothers of the believers) - and Allaah knows best. Even then the Ummaahatul mu'mineen were given an option to stay in marriage to the Prophet or to be left honourably because they UNDERSTOOD that all the marriages of the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwasalam were done for specific reasons (i.e strengthening ties of tribes or breaking the cultural norms when he was married to Zaynab radhiAllaahu anha) and yet Allaah acknowledged their gheerah too, that maybe for some it might get too difficult to accept polygamy. But they chose Allaah, His Messenger and the Akhirah, we know this as stated in the Qur'an. Its even more important to say that the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam was married to 1 women for 25 years! ONE. From when he was 25 years old Up until her death, when the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam was 50 (this is now 10 YEARS into prophethood) and then the marriages were ordained for the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam in the remaining 10 years or so of his life as he remained single for a while after the death of Khadijah RadhiAllaahu anha (approx 3 years?) There is even the verse in the Qur'an that tells the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam where there are no more marriages for him after the ones he'd married. Where in the seerah do we find any explanation of what brothers try to justify today? Yes in fiqh/islamic jurisprudence these rulings are 'available', because Islamic jurisprudence deals with just that, every possible scenario, but they are 'options' not grounded rulings.. yes they are part of Islaam but ethically and morally men have an obligation towards women too. Where did the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam or any sahaba HIDE a MARRIAGE from their wives? Not the sexual relations with bondswomen like the examples of Ali RadhiAllaahu anhu or the Mariya Kipti ones, but WIVES. It's also important to understand that there were no binding obligations to bondswomen. But to wives there ARE binding obligations, the nikkah is a contract, a responsibility before Allaah and ofcourse all the other responsibilities that spouses have towards each other. That's what really got to me that by the end of the 47 minutes I've listened to so far, marriage, which is so sacred, so beautiful, was watered down to just about sexual intimacy. Where is the Rahmah, muwaddah and sakinah, the purposes of marriage.. Anyway. Allaah knows best.
@@bogumilaskowron2680 by your logic none of these guests should be on the show as none of them are scholars... Hijab was the only one to cite his sources and base everything on Quran and Sunnah
Btw I’m willing to share my husband with my girlfriends especially when they r single mothers who can’t get married or find someone who can give them halal relationship
@@webnovelsatu1455 SubhannAllah
You're a real one!
Queen....its alright for muslim woman to not be ok for their husband's to have a 2nd wife. It's better for the wife to be clear on her preference on that so it doesn't affect their spousal relationship and that the Husband makes a responsible decision
Ooo u got a point Sister.
@@Ahmed-vw3iw don't worry about her emotions, she understands men.
If a man wants a second wife, you discuss that before marriage. When they have secret, it means his wife is against it. He knew, he married her and now has changed his mind. Marry someone who is open to it from the beginning. Nothing wrong with it, but it’s wrong to force people who do not want to live that lifestyle. Not everyone wants to live like that.
Polygyny is a right given as a default by the Creator of all creation. There is no need for him to discuss something only 1, 2 or 3% of men do. If you want to discuss it then by all means. Please don’t bend Allah’s religion. You cause nothing but confusion.
I ask Allah to guide us all and to remain steadfast on the truth.
@@alphauno6614 It’s not compulsory. Most men that practice do not fit that criteria needed to practice. It’s fine if a man wants to do it. But do that with women who also want that. The ones that don’t are not obligated or forced by religion to do it. Which is why I stated to discuss this like you would discuss children, finances etc. it it will lead to a lot of chaos.
@@almara90 “Most men that practice do not fit that criteria needed to practice.” You made a claim here so prove it. What study are you referring to? If it’s just an opinion then it is my opinion that the overwhelming majority of men and women in polygynous marriages love it soooo much that they have better marriages than their monogamous counterparts.
@@alphauno6614it is true, most Muslim men use this to fill their selfish desires and it doesn't come from a selfless place.
If we were to keep our deen first instead of emotions and our western ideology (which has for sure infiltrated our mind) women wouldn't have that much of an issue when it comes to second wife
Ali is tooo pushy. Marriage isn’t only sex Ali. Men can decide that having to cater to 2 women and 2 households is a lot of work financially ,emotionally and even more when children come involved. Not all men want polygyny as it’s a huge responsibility.
Lucky they are in uk a country that would feed and house your children if your wife said she is a single mother..😢
@@theman8070 Absolutely true! And it is a form of lying too to say that she is single. Some Muslim men take advantage of this fact which is disgusting. So now you don't even have to be financially capable to get a second wife!
Exactly, he apparently doesnt marry for love, just another hole to put his wang cause he cant help himself. I wonder what his wife thinks?
If you can’t handle it don’t do it! DONT lie! Secret marriage is a recipe for disaster PERIOD. Have a conversation!
False religion, come out of it guys. Just lies and deception. Jesus Christ is the only way.
I would be very hurt if I found out my husband took a second wife in secret.
God made 1 man and 1 woman to be together. God never commanded men to have 4 wives, but allowed it for the sake of protecting women who couldn't support themselves. Jesus is the Truth and the only way to the Father, no one comes to the Father except through Jesus
@@butterjupitar You quite literally don't know what you're talking about.
How many wives did the Prophet Soloman have?
@@LivelyFig 700 wives and 300 concubines, but did God command Solomon to have that many wives? No and did God say it was okay to have that many wives? Also no, What you are saying is that "If God allows all those things to happen then that means He definitely commanded it", Do you know what was also allowed but not commanded? P3dophillia, homosexuality, murd3r, torture, abuse, but did God command it or said it was okay? no, and unlike these which basically ruin mankind, polygamy wasn't negative for a specific purpose: to protect women, it was allowed in order to protect women because they couldn't support themselves, and when a man marries that many wives, he should take care of them, and did you know what happens to Solomon for having that much wife? I don't think you do, they led him away from God, it's just that issue. God kept silent about it because telling them that it wasn't His will at THAT time, will cause women to live in worst situations especially when it doesn't have a better outcome. The will of God is *one* man and *one* woman, if God wanted men to be polygamous, then Adam would have other wives beside Eve.
The fact that their whole argument is based on how men all men are polyamorous is crazy..
they are talking about the majority and they are right
@@AlieBangnot true this is opinion based. People have different mindsets different capabilities.
@@RyuzakiCherry you'll never see a man refusing an offer of having 4 wifes if he is capable of providing
@anesgamer3961 Yes, you will. Some men are comfortable with one wife. You only represent yourself don't talk as if you represent us men
@@asemalmasri6181 no you won't unless you lack the balls to handle 4 women, also i didn't say no man refuses to be with one women stop straw manning what i said
Marriage is a partnership that involves trust, honesty, and communication. When one partner cannot share information it can seriously damage the foundation of the relationship, imagine hearing it from the outside world that your partner is married to someone else, that is the biggest betrayal. i feel like people need to voice their wants from a relationship before they get into the relationship.
But what can you do when allah himself allows this
That's what the scholars say
Or how about acceptance of each others flaws? It's hypocritical for you te expect a man to accept that you have desires, like going for a nice dinner, or just giving you money, but then not accept his desires. Men and women are meant to work with eachother, not against eachother.
@@Think_pls exactly......these feminists think they are bigger than scholars of Islam.......well ......news flash..... YOU ARE NOT!
That's why Islam is a satanic sex cult.
@@susanna9831 men are toxic? Go away
Marriage is something that should be openly declared, not hidden. This is part of the Sunnah. If a man is too fearful of his first wife's potential reaction, he isn't mature enough to be taking on the responsibility of a second wife.
In uk they should follow uk law only one wife is allowed they are scare to tell ther truth because our law will protect and back upo the wife
🙌🏼
Then why did your prophet lie to his wives?
Following Ali Dawah's logic, if the Prophet had allowed 9 wives, wouldn't men want 9? The Prophet wanted 9.
@@marisakennedy777 There was a reason for each of the Prophet pbuh's marriages. Read the biography of his life. The Quran limits men to up to 4 but doesn't advise them to marry multiple women. Ali Dawah's logic is irrelevant here
Brothers can't make 5 daily fard prayers but wants 4 wives because its a sunnah 😅
That's true.
What is sunnah
💯💯
Wut about sin and desire
@@Firstlastfirst you can have 4 at most in 1 time.
The fact that they excuse the women’s complaints as “hormonal” and “emotional” is disguising..that’s literally the same mindset men from the 1950’s had.
@@Mashp272 it's true, however, I don't think it was addressed in the proper manner.
@@Mashp272 mindset from 600
mindset from 600😂
💯 the maddest debate that I have heard.
It is emotional and hormonal. Are you even a muslim?
The whole point of the walima is to announce the marriage and not keep it secret
As a muslim woman, ı prefer live single rather than live with some lie..
I wonder what would happen if all Muslim women just stopped marrying 😂 Muslim men can still marry non Muslim women but they woudnt take this disrespect either 🤣
*as a modern western woman*
@@_1Solo no she said “as a Muslim woman” you can’t tell her who and what she is. She already knows. Not every Muslim woman who stands up for herself is “modern western Muslim woman” and being western isn’t a reason to look down on someone. That’s racist.
@@TheNiceOne_ you’re right😂
That's your choice, but you can't say it's Haram for a man to do that anyway.
And to add this discussion about secret wives will make women suspicious, insecure paranoid about their husbands. Nobody wants to be around someone they don't trust. You don't feel emotionally safe.
Then they should stop being jealous and disrespectful to the permission of God
@@vtee549 men are the reason for wars lol precisely for this reason. Lack of understanding. Women deserve to feel secure and loved. There are men who do not want more than 1 wife. They don't entertain it because they are content. You may refuse to believe that because that's what you want. What you focus on grows. Just because its allowed in Islam does not mean its suitable for everyone. Like someone here said, your intentions will be judged on the day of judgement so quit vilifying women who don't want it in their life. Choose women who do.
@@vtee549 Wow don’t feel a feeling that Allah SWT has put in all of us!
Women are allowed and are naturally jealous, jealously isn’t always a bad thing! BUT if we allow our jealousy to take over and drive out decisions then yes that could be dangerous!
@@vtee549 you are absolutely delusional, this person makes a good point and you are being an idiot bringing in “permission” into the occasion just to dismiss someone making a good point. The women could say the same about men, “stop being so horny” problem solved right? Not so easy. Be fair bro.
@@vtee549 being jealous is a sin?
How can a hidden marriage be valid? A marriage is by definition to announce a relationship to the world so that everybody knows
So accordimg to you, if in a city, not all people know about your marriage is invalid? How crazy
@@kinglaw1882 Of course...a second marriage should also be by the permission of the first wife and yes everyone should know about the marriage
@@HibaRani-dv5bd everyone, so if i live in a city, everyone need to know, so if i live in new york, 6+ milions of people need to know my life, are you serious? And no, a man doesnt need his wife permission, she doesnt jave any power over him about
@@kinglaw1882 it's people with such a obnoxious attitude that drive people away from islam. What if your wife did that to you? Why are you always expecting women to accept things you yourself would find unbearable?
@@kinglaw1882 are you stupid? Another marriage without the permission of the first wife is literally cheating 😂
99% of brothers struggle to make ends meet and talk about wanting a second wife 😂
Desires are strong I guess
@@shimmer4771 i wish the best for that 1% and its the right Allah has given. But in all honesty, in the western context where women can have any guy they want, youre probably only gonna pull that off if you get ur second wife from overseas. No way that western muslim women, who probably have a higher education than you as a man, are going to go along with that. Im not saying its not the right of the man, but in reality in the western context, this just aint gonna fly. Good luck convincing them that they just have to accept it and put their emotions aside, its easier for you to move a mountain in all seriousness
@@shimmer4771and so they should have the right to marry a second without being looked down on.
@@mk-ld8ih Agreed. But, don't expect for the sisters to welcome it with open arms. It's a test.
Lmao what a weird take. You ask Allah that you need more rizq for a second wife, I strongly believe he will give you those means if you uphold the rest of your deen. Let's not mock the poorer brothers, for one day the supposed richer ones can end up poor.
What I find concerning about this debate is that basic Islamic principles of kindness compassion and empathy and honesty just don't seem to matter in these people's marriages.....these men know this will hurt their wives but because they're technically allowed it becomes, my desires matter more than my responsibility to be just, kind and compassionate to my original wife. My desires as a man are worth the risk of causing future family problems when I have two sets of families secret from each other. The selfishness here is boundless.
Beautiful demonstration of missing the point and proving it at the same time. Good job.
I dislike the brothers getting defensive about the women's jealousy. That's natural.
basic Islamic LAWS of ALLAH that has established polygyny are rejected so stop playing religious!!!
please stay single. I suggest cats.
@therebelliousprince0077Islam teaches you to take into account of others feelings, to be respectful and kind. So yes you SHOULD consider your wives feelings. It says to treat them with kindness. Not regarding them feelings goes against that.
Why should a women be tested with another wife, why can’t the man be tested in controlling his desires???
wellah the best comment thank you !
Because your religion says so. Meanwhile Jesus calls polygamy a sin and calls a husband to love his wife as he loved the church and sacrificed himself for her. Polygamy is adultery. Trust in Jesus, he loves you and died on the cross as a sacrifice for your sins. If you trust him he will raise you up on the last day and you will spend eternity with him. May God guide you to Jesus.
@@itsmichaelakin5421shut up
@@itsmichaelakin5421 can a Christian woman divorce her violent Christian husband?
@@itsmichaelakin5421right…that’s why Jesus said he came to confirm the law that came before him, and the law that came before him in your own Bible shows the prophets of God all being polygamous but you pick and choose what you follow in your religion. Pork btw is also banned in your Bible just a fyi. May God guide you to the actual teachings of Christ who said “why do you call me good, only God is good”.
Just answer this, why keep it a secret? Every wife has the right to know. It’s not even permission. Man doesn’t need permission. But why HIDE? In my experience, u only hide things u r ashamed/guilty of.
Verse/hadith please.
@@Abdur-Rahman862 verse or hadith regarding what?
@@alvirarahman2690 about the wife's right to know. Do you have any text to back your statement?
@@Abdur-Rahman862so a husband can leave is family’s and lie about it?
@@antina8627 having a second wife and abandoning your first is a different thing entirely.
When I look at the comments by men below this video, I can see the current moral level and it’s alarming. They say, "As long as Allah allows it, it's okay, secret or not." They use religion to fulfill their worldly desires. May Allah give these men akhlaq.
The problem is both men and Islam. Many men have these degenerate desires and Islam gives them permission to act on it. Christianity doesn't have this problem as Jesus Christ said that marriage is only between one man and one woman. Why would you continue to defend a religion which treats you like an object?
One of the reasons to believe Allah was mohammed's invention to satisfy his lust for power and sex. Its all TOO convenient
like women abusing the concept of mahr, men should defend thier rights
Amen!
Oh the women will do anything but not accept rights of men remain single sister please don't destroy our lives
Now I understand why so many highly educated muslim woman are not married.
They are very highly educated, and they will do the research on this religion, to see if it is false or not
Highly educated women are less married. Muslim or non Muslim. Having a formal education doesn't mean you have common sense
What a reply it's better that most women's are not married in the future they will be someone's 2nd Or 3rd wife 😅@@93boxing81
Fr
@@93boxing81THIS. Also don't conflate education with intelligence either. They are two separate things.
The thing is, if you get married in secret, then by definition, you'd have to lie to the first wife. Where will you say you are going for half the week? Why do you suddenly have half the money you had available? What if your second wife dies? How will you explain why you now have custody of these children? Lying in these circumstances is not permissible in Islam. So how would you navigate these situations?
Lie after lie ...
those lies usually don't last long.
and they are justifying lying.
And they even said you can lie ....what joke is this man.....they didn't even consider as betrayal..... it's funny.... it's funny 🤣
@@YtrrhhhIts not funny but sad people think Islam is the perfect system and solution to mankind. It's pure insanity.
Don't tell ur wife about ur 2nd wife, so the children of the 2 wives can end up marrying each other (marrying siblings). Yes, that had happened more than once!
They cant, bcs in islam you need to approach the father of the girl to marry. So the father will always know😂😂😂
@@Biekoewhat if he died, what if he divorced the second wife and didn't have contact with his kids... If lying is allowed and he only married in mosque, no papers and he used different name liying to the second wife... It could happen . Some have second wifes in different countries, what if one of the kids migrate and end up marrying
@@fidemingenium5906 well that why i always think a man shouldnt hide it. He should be a man and tell his first wife honestly about his second wife. I wouldn’t hide it either if i would ever even marry a second wife
To the men who try to convince woman that they should allow their husbands to have second wife's etc. Have any of you approached your mothers to convince her to allow your fathers to bring home another wife?
@@shimmer4771 what do you mean with nature angry or jealous???
@Ayyub Vernon what was your mothers reaction? Did you convince her to let your father bring home a 2nd wife?
@General Saaab you're not a prophet so relax. I bet you can barley please one woman let alone multiple wives
@@shimmer4771 "Most of them wouldn't. 😂 The thing is, women being jealous or angry is our nature. We're supposed to be"
females being insecure, jealous, angry and fragile are not considered to be "nature" it is just their narcissism.
@@shimmer4771 "The idea of sharing a husband is very difficult for many women. It makes us angry."
men dont belong to females, female belong to men. females are not authorities over men for them to decide if you will like to "share" him. polygamy does not concern females, it is not her decision to make, it is the decision of the man if he would like to practice polygamy or not. females have no choice about accepting polygamy.
It is so disappointing to see that there is really no difference between Muslim men and non-Muslim men. A married man who is comfortable taking on another wife, without even informing his first wife, is not a man of good character.
I guarantee you, nonmuslim men are more respectful than that by faaar.
@L-Lawliet14 Sing yourself whatever lullaby helps you sleep.
@L-Lawliet14A Kafir is much better than a Muslim! Why? Because he uses his brain and rejects false religions like Islam.
And he also doesn't say its okay to marry 6 years old because his prophet did so, nor does he beat his wife saying its ok because his holy book said so.
I can’t believe you just said that
You see a Muslim man the same as a disbeliever
You need help then, you could’ve said some not just Muslim men as a whole
@@Naimedclaiming Well, it's beyond obvious that I am speaking about the men on this panel. However, believe what you want; I could not care less.
The first time I'm realising that Ali Dawah lacks wisdom and maturity. He shouldn't be propagating the idea that the wife is to blame for men who are adulterous. A sincere, God fearing man, won't make such a flimsy excuse.. 'God made us men weak'.!! 🤦 An adulterer will still be an adulterer, even if he takes two, three or four wives. Men should stop looking at women as trophies, but as responsibilities. And stop blaming women for their own flaws and weakness.
Getting another wife because he's no longer attracted to the first one is also a dead end. All women lose their cute spark after birthing children due to weight gain and aging. You can't just divorce all four after aging and weight gain.
Keep that same energy when it comes to women being emotional and going through there hormonal issues
I kind of agree 👍🏼
When the man isn’t there and his wife is lustful, should she cheat? By this logic she’s entitled to. When his libido drops, when he’s sick, when he is tired, while he’s a work, you know the men work long hours. 😂
Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
Ali, when you ask a fellow brother “Do you ever wish to have a second wife?” and he says, “No”, don’t immediately object/become cynical. Understand the nuance of your own question. As a young man myself, I completely agree with you that all men have the desire to have multiple sexual/romantic partners, but that doesn’t mean that all Muslim men want multiple wives. While there are plenty of Muslim men out there who would deny wanting multiple wives in fear of upsetting their current wife, there are also plenty of men out there who deny this because they do not want to take on the religious, emotional, and financial responsibilities that come with marrying more than one woman. So when the brother to the right of MH or the husband of sister Amira says that they are not interested in a second wife, they’re not lying. The sister in the white hijab made a good point at 56:57 when she said that you don’t let anyone say no to your question. I’m sure you already understand all this, but please understand the nuance of the question your asking.
@malakelgendy2580 I don’t think he’s pushing for men to choose polygamy, I think he’s trying to eliminate the stigmatization surrounding polygamy, which is a good thing.
@malakelgendy2580 That's sad. A Muslim country should gladly accept this. It's a bit disappointing.
might be good reasons even Islamic countries don't want to encourage all men to practice polygamy. This will lead to wealthy men monopolizing the majority of women, up to 4 each as there will be no negative stigma and womren are told there's nothing you can do about it and can't ask for divorce for this reason. Long-term, more and more men will remain single. More and more children will be related to each other and cannot marry each other, so this will lead to a reduction in population for that country. The LDS Mormons are routinely kicking out young men from their society bc there are not enough women and the polygynous men want to protect their multiple wives and not share with the young men. Thus, instead of telling women they're selfish for not wanting to share their one husband, men are actually selfish for demanding multiple wives at times where such a drastic measure is not required, i.e., wars and not enough men, etc.
Not all men want polygamous relationships though. That's projecting.
Exactly 👏🏻 what Ali fails to understand, we all lust & desire to fulfil our desire (we females too with men) but it’s not ideal, it’s dunya there is problems having multiple partners, in dunya we wer given the emotion jealousy - one of the most ugliest traits, when we practise on the that emotion, we are unrecognisable.
My husbands brother has 2 wives from abroad, while they play happy family the first wife secretly harms seconds wife’s kids (broke one of the child’s arm, telling the 3 yr old to jump of a high furniture, another time another child was drowned in bath) What these selfish men don’t get how they make these women practise on this emotion,,they turn so evil & it’s cos they can’t take their anger out on the man so they harm each other & others around them - what kind of shitty life is that.
People to be comfortable with lying day in day out - shows signs of narcism, character defect. Ali’s rubbish mentality is rubbing off on hijabi.
Sorry BUT Combined : These men are dead ugly to be thinking any hot women will be willing to share their spouse, maybe bunch of low grade females but 9 or 10/10 - no way!
The problem with marrying other women secretly is that if a scenario arises where the father passes away without telling the wives and children about the others, there is a chance that some of them may get married to eachother without knowing that the other is a half sibling. Wouldn’t that be a problem?
clearly u havent watched. this was mentioned...
They should have same last name. And naturally ask «Who is your father?» or «Are we related?»
@@moonwalkerr87 100%. people find out they are from the same caste ( talking about my ethnicity ) just because of a surename and find out their grandparents/ great grandparents were cousin... if they can find this out so easily after speaking two times... surely they will know if theyre step siblings soon enough
A big secret like a second marriage won't stay secret longer than the second wife having a baby
So many people who are unrelated have the same last name. Lying, creates fitna. Avoid lying. Be honest to people you love. The basics have become a luxury to have in today's world. A father who lies raises children who thinks it's ok to lie. You build a community with a lot of sickness in it. Don't lie.
Calls women emotional but, everytime someone says something bad about polygamy hes about to burst into tears.
😂
They call men emotional but, everything men says about polygyny they burst into tears 😂
He doesn't seem to understand the weight of the question. The question he wants to ask is, 'if your wife was happy would marry a woman just for sex' but obvs can't ask that. Majority of men don't want a headache and know having a second wife is a recipe for a headache. He has to work more, earn more, spend more, more responsibility, two people to protect, two sets of kids. It's long
God in Al baqarah says along the lines of azwajun mutahara in heaven that’s for all that go to heaven. 2:25 so what is he talking about?
yeah the guy. in tje grey shirt has a mean streaK in him
Muhammad's wife were seperate not together
Saying “well she’s not going to be okay with so that is why I lied” is ridiculous. If a woman lied to you about having children because you wouldn’t accept it would you be okay with that?
It is halal for Muslim men to lie to their wives, especially when it comes to marrying a second secret wife. That is why they do it. And as a Muslim woman, there's nothing you can really do about it.
@@shabs2134So can the woman also lie to you?
Muslim men are babies.
Shes not allowed to lie about that
@@Haroon-kd3kwexactly the point stop lying to us women
I think it’s the secrecy that bothers me more than anything. I would want my husband to love and trust me enough to speak to me about anything. A second wife and a secret wife are two very different things in my mind.
So you're okay with your husband marrying and sleeping with extra women as long as he discusses this beforehand with you? The things that Islam does to women...sad.
Would you allow it ?
@@shabs2134 It's not sad. It's to protect society. Many men cheat on their wives simply because one woman wasn't enough. You shouldn't speak on this if you know nothing.
@@shabs2134and……. It’s halal and nothing wrong with it even when done with consent from first wife. You marry first then sleep btw-
@@shabs2134it's men who do it regardless of opinion of the woman she wouldn't want her husband falling into zenith
The more I see these conversations the more I turn away from marriage and pray for a spouse in Jannah instead. May Allah help us all especially those who are married.
Are you female. Lol. Cos your spouse in heaven would have 2 wives minimum. Sooooo 🤷🏻♂️
But by the same token we won’t feel jealous, envious or hurt in Jannah by the will of Allah SWT.
Sad times. I don't even understand why this is even a discussion. Times have changed, it's very difficult to maintain even one marriage nowadays let alone multiple. If you can then good for you but almost every guy I know is fine with just one wife.
@@HabiburRahman-zo5ot What is sad is that we live in a time where zina is widespread everywhere. THAT IS SAD. What is also sad is that Muslims going against what is halal and speaking negative about it. THAT IS SAD.
The solution for fighting zina is marriage! Ecourage halal, don’t criticize what is halal. Rather speak against evil.
This is a test from Allah SWT because Zina is a horrible fitna this Ummah has to deal with.
Why is cheating okay? Something is wrong here. Also the guy says all men are polygamist by nature. I disagree because I am not. A woman could be polygamist as well. You just need to control your animal self.
Thats you
That's called a thot lol
Take it up with Allah and His Rasul (SAW). If you don't feel the way these men do, fine. That just means you're the exception. In these types of discussions we're always speaking on the rule aka the majority. Fact is, like brother Ali said, if you had 0 consequences to face from marrying more than one woman at the same time would you do it? For men, 99.9% of time it is a resounding yes. What's animalistic about it? Allah made us this way.
There are women that would like more partners but what if she gets pregnant etc… that’s a little dangerous…
@@philoso6691oh please stop with the bs. Woman aren't monogamous as well. They are polygamous on the same footing. Please bring out more nicer arguments.
It’s men like this that make me question Islam sometimes..why do they not read the full ayah? What about the orphans that god mentions they should take second wives for? It’s literally the same verse, why do they read the second part only??
Because the first part has nothing to do with condition to marry more, ALLAH said if you fear to be unjust with orphans, To marry others women than them, 2 or 3 or 4 that is the limit. Because men's back days wanted orphans withlut be just in mehr, or their wealth, read the tafseer
God says يتامى which inlcudes males and females if He meant to fear not being just with female orphans He would have said female orphans
With all due respect, I think brother Hijab is taking liberties with interpretation of that hadeeth about lying between spouses. White lies to please your wife are permitted. Otherwise, lying is haram.
That's your opinion as a layman which means nothing. Scholars from the various madhabs agree that men can lie to their wives and need no permission for fulfilling their Islamic rights. Muslimas are simply meant to obey and accept unless it's something obviously against Islam.
@@AmeeB-oo1lrThe point is Islam allows it. You can lie to your wife according to Islam. Sure, it means Islam allows a man to be untrustworthy, but that's his Islamic right.
@@shabs2134 Islam does not allow men to be untrustworthy at all and that is certainly not his Islamic right to be so. I had to double check what you’ve written because I was confused if you are a Muslim or a sarcastic non Muslim?
Yep... literally it's for salty food or an unflattering outfit choice. Not big things like a whole secret family...
This is so disturbing. No wonder why our ummah is the way it is.
This is the reality of Islam. Polygamy and other such degeneracy is forbidden in Christianity.
@@shabs2134 Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
cuz of girls like u
The true God is exposing islam 😂😂
The only reason why these young men want a second wife is because of their sexual desires, not the charity. Each of our Prophet's (pbuh) marriages had a purpose and they were not for sexual purposes. The Qur'an also states that one wife is better. Allah says in the Quran, "And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].” (Surah An-Nisa, Ayat 129) Nevertheless, if these men want to satisfy their worldly desires by risking their hereafter, they can do so.
Most of Muhammad's marriages were for sex. To claim otherwise is laughable (Bukhari 5215).
factsssss
Don't worry that's the reason we got hoor ul ayn The beautiful creation of Allah
I think you forget, the main purpose of marriage is to protect the private parts. So what if they want to get married for sexual desire. If the desire is not fulfilled with one then if he is able to, then it is actually advised to marry again.
The Qur'an also makes no such statement that "one wife is better". What nonsense. If anything, the Qur'an encourages polygyny as Allah mentioned the man to marry in 2s' 3s and 4s FIRST, and ONLY if he is unable to be just should he settle for one.
The verse you quoted clearly refers to a man not being able to be equal in "feelings", he is not held accountable for feeling more for one than the other. He is only held accountable for being just in TREATMENT.
There is a hadith where the Prophet said, calling out to Allah: I have distributed the war booty equally to all my wives, so do not hold me accountable for what is in my heart.
(General translation)
So having a favourite doesn't matter, treating them all fairly is what matters.
The summary of the debate: emotions and feelings are fine as long as it's the men's
Their desire for intimacy with a second wife
Their fear of how their wives will react.
Desire and fear are still emotions and feelings.
I think it's just normal to be jealous. One sister told me she wasn't jealous of him taking a second wife, which is what shocked me. It would be hard.
@@shimmer4771
Jealousy comes from love. Of knowing your partner will be intimate and in love with someone else, while he forgets about your love in those moments.
Women who are OK with this don't love their husbands and have other things they focus on. Same with women who married a man they didn't love from the start. They would rather have him away from them as long as possible. Even find him other wives themselves to not have to deal with him for too long.
@@chasna4546 I agree. I just wish the brothers would understand where our jealousy comes from and why we feel this way.
@TheRebelliousPrince007 I would not like it if he enjoyed my jealousy. Remember: we shouldn't pit each other against one another.
@TheRebelliousPrince007 I know. I meant the men who do it.
Show me anywhere in Quran or Hadith where it says we can go behind our wife's back to marry another, you have to mention this to first wife! What kind of nonsense is this WALLAHI
Part 2 should include guests who are involved or have been involved in these types of situations. Would be very helpful to get insight from first hand experience
Yes! Without speaking to them, this topic feels like the discussion is just to rile people up for views. Conflict is good for that.
e.g Mahdi Tidjani
@@ishmammuhammad2989 Red pill guy found in the comments section😅🤣🤣🤣.
@@NiceGuy88 Idiot found, who cant comprehend nuances, and who puts everybody into certain boxes, based on his assumptions,
@@NiceGuy88 I mean it’s true tho he had 3 wives at one point he should have been on this podcast 😊
In this cost of living crisis, you want to take financial responsibility of a second wife...good luck bro
THATS WHAT IM SAYIN!!!
@@firasshaker7917 yea hes right. but we talking about right and wrong. not if you should or not and it was cleary mentioned in the video cleary u didnt watch
@@Adam-bc2ov
We already know this so what are you on about ?
Islam allowed polygamy but also it is extremely hard to meet the condition of being fair to all wives. If you end up being unfair, you are resurrected with a paralyzed half. Let that sink in before you get a second wife brothers.
They don’t even consider this threat bc they think with their you know what the moment they hear a possibility of having multiple women.
@@SamirSiraj8542 it’s not about being practicing or not. It’s the practical things. Women have a lot of emotional needs and require a lot of attention when they go through pregnancy etc. In this day and age, it’s already so hard to work and spend time with your wife and children. Unknowingly, a man might end up being unjust. And there were Sahaba who feared this 1400 years ago. Allah made this permissible but the men should consider all factors.
@@SamirSiraj8542 Yes, you are right in a way. But I’m sure you have other qualities like empathy and perhaps you are knowledgeable about women’s psychology. But trust me, most men have no idea how to handle even one wife, let alone 2 or 4.
The last part of the verse is rarely me to one’s by the brothers 😂😂😂
😢This is ridiculous!!This is not religion, but a cult.
I can't help but notice that Ali just doesn't allow anyone contradicting his opinion. Even if the man in the middle clearly said : NO I would NOT get a second wife, even if she was okay with it, he goes on to say 'we have to be brutally honest'. Well, maybe he's being brutally honest and that's the end of your argument
Well to be fair the guy was lying. They digged deeper into that question and the guy agreed men are polygynous by nature including himself.
Ali allowed these women to contradict his opinion and even gave a sister a pass for standing a man on camera and called him a liar while he wasnt there.
He did that, because if you noticed, the brother's wife kept warning him before he started speaking.
So how can we know if he was being honest, or he was being careful of what he was saying, as she told him to?
He is not unwise host..
False religion, come out of it guys. Just lies and deception.
Just marry someone who is open minded about polygamy, you can never convince someone who doesn’t want to share her husband to share her husband
Exactly what I was thinking! Why force someone to accept your beliefs, if you could just find someone that has the same beliefs as you
Women have a western outlook these days that its extremely rare to find that kind of open minded women
Would you say that about women’s rights? Should a wife have to make clear that her job is for herself and the money is for her personal use rather than the family? Should a wife have to make clear that it is her right to have children?
@@Beyonder1987then don’t marry TILL you find a woman who’s “open minded”, kalas.
@@Beyonder1987it’s not a western standard lmfaooo…… no woman wants to share her husband. Some women become okay with it but that doesn’t mean that’s our nature…cause it’s not at all. Just like men protect, women are PROTECTORS in way a man will never be. And some men don’t understand this. We protect EVERYTHING of ours. Including our men. That’s our nature. Y’all trying to go against a woman’s natural biological ways. If a woman desires this okay. Also the in west, u will find many open minded women with polygamy because we know men are dogs and they are for the streets. This video literally proved that point. At the end they said it’s all about desire….. 🤦🏽♀️
Ali asked one of the guys if he would get a second wife, he said no. He did not like the answer, so he accuses him of lying, and says a lie detective test will change your answer to yes lol then he goes on a rant and answers on behalf of the other guy
Ali Dawah needs to address polygamy properly. I didn't even watch the video. If he doesn't handle it the right way, he may turn sisters away from marriage. Js.
@@shimmer4771 let them be away from marriage. They are the one in most need of marriage not us men.
Not true
Studies show single men have higher rates of depression and suicide, when compared to women@@Adam-bc2ov
@@Adam-bc2ov
Men have higher sex drives so you’re wrong
PAUSE. So a women can forgo her nights in contract to share with other wife but as soon as a women requests for the man to forgo his right to other wives that's haram and saying like make halal wrong? Why do only women women forgo rights for the desires of men but man can't forgo right for the desires of a woman? May Allah swt guide us
Salaam alaikum. I love that we have young men and women discussing the issues here. But I wish there was an elderly scholarly moderator in the presence who is patient in listening and wiser in responding.
I felt that a lot of times our brothers and sisters are quick to wanting to respond with loaded arguments.
Still a very useful discussion, jazakAllah Khair.
Yeah, we need a sheykh or mufti
Exactly
Very disturbing content
Son of God does not mean that God has a child in Christianity!
*what a mistake in the Qur'an!*
Son of God is a title referring to the Word of God!
Hebr 1,2 Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, *by whom also he made the worlds;*
as everyone can see the term Son of God refers to the Word of God = god himself! For through that God created the worlds! *what a mistake in the Qur'an!*
ali is very good at limiting the womens speaking time but not the men’s.. :/
Women have half brains ......that's why
Sahih al-Bukhari 2658
Narrated Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half of that of a man?" The women said, "Yes." He said, "This is because of the deficiency of a woman's mind."
@@CD-123this talks about their ability to recall from memory what they witnessed. It does not mean that what they have to say on other matters is equal half of what a man has to say. Intellectual discussions are for both men and women.
@@maywewonder are you a ba$tard?
Because each time the girls came in based off ego the guys have to rebuttal with Quran 😅
Why does he not accept any man saying he don't want another wife 😂
exactly he thinks polygamy is fard its only permissable not all men want a second wife they are free let them be
It's permitted to take a second wife. Not sure why Ali has an issue with a brother only taking 1. 🤨
Projection
Needs a shield to justify his glutinous lustful desires without consequence. It’s politics guised as “supernatural law”
@@lawunmibalogun2971 Funny how a man’s natural jealousy is always right and catered for but a woman’s natural jealousy of her husband bringing another woman into the marriage is wrong, evil and too emotional. No one seems to admit that men needing to have multiple women they rotate around constitutes to having a lust problem and that covering that up by getting multiple women and calling it “marriage’s” will not fix your lust problem. The bible says to deny your flesh and follow the Lord but in Islam it seems that your flesh and human desires should be honoured 🤷🏾♀️. We can all see how having multiple women wrecks marriages and affects children aswell as the family unit but it’s all ok as long as the man is sexually satisfied because a man’s sexual satisfaction is put above all else apparently.
@@lawunmibalogun2971exactly so well said
As a woman 19 This is the exact reason why i don't wanna get married
you have a lot to learn you are very young, but you don't wanna end up lonely and you want the blessing of the hear after if you are a Muslim
That's islam for you 😂😂
A western man is better
@@thbnkk men who have 4 girlfriend
@@hellofkn3282not everyone does boo. Just like not all muslim men are polygamous or how should I say not all Muslims are terrorists. Stop with the stereotype if y'all hate it so much
We also need to talk about the stories of 2nd wives being used, abused and discarded, especially revert sisters. May Allah swt keep us on the straight path. 2nd wives are not an outlet, they are WIVES as well to be provided for and protected. Brothers need to focus on the reality of plural marriage and the actually responsibilities and consequences. Sisters need to understand that him taking a second wife does not mean you are any less. May Allah swt make it easy for all the marriages. Ameen.
We discuss this issue on future episodes, it’s a real problem.
Some of these revert sisters have an Arab/Paki "Prince Ali Ababwa" fetish, and aren't prepared for their new in-laws basically turning into the mafia once the marriage happens. Sad stuff.
I have seen this type of abuse towards revert sisters an embarrassing number of times. Sisters flock to Islam and the light of this deen and lose all good judgment when dealing with sometimes selfish and self serving guys with zero intention to do right and uphold her rights. They abuse the fact that she is often ignorant to what he is responsible for by Allah’s guidance. It’s not right.
@@mimo4856 Sister, you sound extremely jaded and it takes a blackened heart to say such things. Why would anyone wish harm or hurt upon a fellow sister in Islam? It was the husband that made the decision. This kind of attitude is toxic and un-Islamic. Allah is the most just. If a woman is unable to maintain herself spiritually under such circumstances, she can divorce. But if she is content and he is living up to his duties and/or children are involved she should definitely consider her children and the difficulties of single parenthood. Single parenthood is bad for children and society. Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “None of you will have faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 13, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 45
Why this second wife came between husband and wife?
As a new Muslim who used to be in polyam relationships before I converted, I'd say there's no question deceiving your wife and marrying another without her knowledge is simply not conductive to a healthy loving relationship regardless if it's allowed or not. I'd also say from my experience many people (men and women) are simply not equipped to be just, fair and equally emotionally present in poly relationships (that in no way means there aren't people who can't have fair, honest and loving poly marriages tho).
With that being said, there needs to be an open conversation and we should acknowledge most men would jump at a chance to not be limited by a monogamous marriage and should not be demonized for it. Expecting one's partner to feel unfulfilled in a mono relationship and suppressing their nature only for one's own benefit is also hardly love.
The gaslighting here is insane
Are you Muslim?
If you're married, have children, full time job, and friends and general life duties. How on earth do you have time to get a second secret wife?
You will and say you going for an all night vigil in a mosque and them go sleep with the other one.... maybe her friend is the second wife 😢😢😂
The 4 wife permission was actually a limit as much as I have learned. Because before that, man could have as many women as they wanted. In times of war, it made sense to have multiple wifes because of lack of man and widowed women. It also made sense to have multiple wifes for leaders and such from other nations, tribes etc to establish peace between the two nations etc. but its adviced, suggested to have one wife. Also because having multiple wifes is extremely hard, not just financially but also in means of equal treatment of each wife is very hard. In the future if there are such cases of war or relative reasons go for it maybe. But it is crucial to be fair amongs them 😊. May Allah guide us all and increase our wisdom and understanding.
Well explained ❤
These are mostly excuses paving the way for normalizing a 1 wife society like the west. A women is better provided for being the 2nd wife of a good Muslim and strong provider than the only wife of a left over man. Women are hypergamous. It is not only for war and no where is that specified. "Musy treat them fairly" is also true of 1 wife and yet we do not constantly cite it as a deterent to the first marriage. Muslims around the world are deeply engaged in Zina which is haram 100% and yet Muslims create barriers and discourage a part of marriage polygyny that is totally halal and fairness would only be known by those in yhe marriage, no outsider could even have such knowledge.
Those who have made marriage harder, have made Zina easier. And we see the results both in the west and the foolish Muslims who follow them.
Yes absolutely right, and people misuse this for the lust, distressing the first wife causing havic at home too desperate to have a second wife evn 3rd getting mad with their own children because they are desperate to fulfil their lust amd feed their sex desperation idiotic men, i repeat idiotic stupid low life of a half a man who has no self control no decipline, thinks about a secomd wife or even 3/4th. With no care in the world that he is destroying his peaceful life, messing up his wifes mental state, messing around with her head, and how that has an adverse effect on the children too. Pathetic and selfish idiotic lusty men. END OF. BUNCH OR IDIOTS AND LOWLIFES
Bro no. Just no. If you see pretty gyal and you want her you can Talk her you don’t have search a reason I want to Make world peace with my marriage like you crippin tho? Beautiness and fear of zina is reason enough as a men to Marry another one.
@@rpgixhdh8045 you will never make your wives happy. Unless they all equally agree and accept. Even the God told the prophet he will NEVER be able to deal with them equally. The prophets heart cried out to Allah about this.
Let this sink in -> just saying that you can ‘lie’ for a greater good. And the greater good is nothing but you saving yourself from your wife’s broken heart. Is purely satanic. It’s like the devil smiles knowing that god’s creations are living in stupidity. Where the woman thinks her lover is true. And the man thinks he is going to Heavan after lying his adult life. There is a fix though. To stop and repent and make it up to her.
👏🏻
May I also remind us of the famous Quaranic verse "and we created you in pairs".. it doesnt say we created you as pairs with the same man
Muslim ladies take your power back. You have the right to be in a monogamous relationship! It breaks my heart to hear this issue and how it is supported by Islam. It’s wrong and it’s not good for families. Women in all religions suffer but to have a religion enforce this law makes things worse. I love the way these ladies supported their views. ✝️ God created Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Eves!
✝️is better
True ! ❤
maybe christian women take their power back coz there is no concept of divorce in xtianity even if husband is abusive
lol take this L
According to your bible
Abraham had three wives-Sarah, Hagar, and Keturah. Jacob, David, and Solomon all had multiple wives as well. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Uninformed fake adherent. You don’t even know your own religion
@makwe are taking about new testament u abdulparto
You will be judged on your intentions. Your intentions are not defined by what you claim aloud. They are defined by what you actually seek within your heart.
No ruling in Islam is given for you to take as a green light to do what you desire just because you desire it. Are you allowed to drink water? Obviously, yes. But let's say you are standing next to a thirsty orphan while you are holding a jug of water. You yourself are not thirsty. You notice that the orphan is thirsty but you do not give any water to the orphan. Instead, you drink your water and walk away.
There are Muslims who think they would be spared punishment for denying water on the basis that drinking their own water is not haram. But that isn't how it works. You will be asked on the day of judgement about why you withheld the water from the orphan. As well you will be asked about why you took a second wife and why you hid her from your first. It being halal is not a reason why. It is only a justification. You will be asked about your intention in doing so.
Beautiful comment barakAllahu feek
Well written comment mashallah ❤
And hijab precisely said that. He gave an example of sugar. Sugar in and of itself is halal to eat but for a diabetic person it might be harmful enough to be declared haram for them.
Likewise, getting a secret second wife isn't prohibited in the religion of Islam, but we need to look into the outcome of implementing this ruling. And taking this into consideration, Hijab adviced against a secret second wife. And i personally do agree with him. It's very likely to lead to unequal treatment of both wives to maintain the secret.
MashaAllah subhanallah! Thank you for your insight
If you had said this on the panel I get the feeling that Ali Dawah and Muhammad Hijab would have accused you of speaking from emotions.
This is ridiculous.. absolutely sickening!!
When a sister speaks about what is good for a woman it is seen as feminism ,
Please grow up
Didn't Allah allow polygny? Are you saying Allah permits what is bad for people?
Thanks for showing me how Islam really is ❤️ Started my slow apostacy after this was released
🎉
@CosmotheSeedrian06 Not only the freedom - but the morals. I don't have to live like women in Islam anymore. I don't have to defend someone marrying a child. I don't have to defend the killings. 🥰
@CosmotheSeedrian06 💜
Don't forget Muhammad had allowed halal prostitution called muttah
Exactly
It’s not obligatory to tell fist wife about second. Then don’t ask a woman to take care of ur old mother when she needs it. It’s not obligation on her either. If u remove love and respect from islam this is what happens
If someone is happy with his current wife, why would he want to get married with another one!
Realistically, it's very difficult to maintain two households.
It may work out. Some are happy. Besides, the reward the woman gets makes it worth the while. Men also get rewarded.
@@shimmer4771 what's t reward? Apart from emotional and psychological torture? Polygamy is cruelty towards women.
@@babyline595 the reward is Paradise. This world is just a short stay.
@@shimmer4771 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@shimmer4771 She can also get the same reward by staying single🤣
Allah created Adam and Eve, if it were so dire for a man to have more than one wife, He would have made two women. It is a capability of man to have more than one wife, NOT a neccessity. Big difference.
Why are men allowedto be polygamous then ?
Maybe because eve was always avaible for Adam (as) and they were always together and BTW Adam(as) cant marry his own children. stop saying nonsense
But if allah didn't tell Mohammed saw to marry his other 11 wifes after khadija ra he would never (2 died so he married 2 again because allah said so and 4 are because during war they had to touch him to protect him but its haram before marriage so he married the other 4 for war but not all in the same war)
@@Adam-bc2ov They are arguing man is polygamous by NATURE. Was Adam not part of this nature? And you're the one saying nonsense, Allah could have just created another woman for Adam if it was his "nature" or "default".
@_nafisa_ exactly. They conveniently forget that the first man ever created, was monogamous. These men need to just admit that they are driven by their desires, not noble intentions.
Wow what is happening with the man here! The bar is set so low for man yet so unbelievably high for woman. I think this issue is the woman make excuses for his bad behaviour, you accepted his obvious lies, and you gave him another chance again and again. You sold yourself short, you didn’t believe you deserved better. A woman is not a commodity or a toy of amusement but a real partner to man who has right of her own and deserves utmost respects.
Just because something is permissible, doesn’t mean it’s recommended. People really need to learn the difference. I don’t see enough people making that distinction
Polygyny was literally recommended by the Quran
Only if you can’t fulfil the rights of both wives equally. If you can do that then there is nothing to suggest that it is disliked or not recommended.
@@Dukeyunuz where’s your evidence to suggest that it is recommended? There are multiple verses in the Quran that tell us how polygamy was born out of a need i.e. to support widows, spread the teachings of Islam etc. Allah swt also tells us how it is impossible to love all wives the same and so it is even more incumbent on the man to ensure he marries multiple wives for good reason as opposed to just pleasure.
@@amala5099 I’m really sorry but who is your exegete, these are mostly add ons by western media to cater for western audience to make a case for polygyny. And just so you know pleasure is just as important a reason for polygyny as any so if one isn’t satisfied with his wife then he should just commit zina?
@@amala5099 there’s nothing about loving equal, the prophet pbuh did not love all his wives equal unless if you haven’t heard of the Hadith where he clearly mentioned loving Aisha more than anyone else in the world the requirements is fair treatment, so reread your fiqh sister!
I have to say that this perception we have of men being evil horndogs or women being manipulative or emotionally insecure is ridiculous in real life. It is never that simple.
Being in a wonderful marriage myself, I understand that most men want an emotionally and physically satisfying marriage just as much as women do, and they’re perfectly happy to have one partner in a mutually loving relationship so long as it’s just that: a mutually loving relationship. If two people have fulfilling each other’s needs and wants and just love one another deeply and complete one another where the other falls short, it’s very rare to see this sort of dilemma occur.
Hawa completed this for Adam - Allah didn’t create a hundred wives for Adam to populate the earth or exercise his human desire, rather he created a loving comfort of a spouse for him to find repose in. When such an emotional and mental gap is fulfilled, one finds satisfaction and contentment in the spouse they have.
Islam recognizes that not all marriages work like this. Islam recognizes that we come from various cultures where the concept of loveless and emotionally void marriages are commonplace. Islam recognizes that some marriages are political, or some spouses are just fine being emotionally unconnected and share a family. Islam recognizes that for some men, their upbringing and past experiences can create a desire for infidelity and no satisfaction in just one spouse. Had they been kafir, they would have been chronic cheaters. Islam recognizes this diversity in environment and culture and offers a legal limitation to men, but it also offers us a glimpse into the love lives of our Prophets and the men of the Quran and Sunnah, and gives us the opportunity to choose our stories for ourselves.
A man can be in a fulfilling relationship and still want more wives. Does it mean he is an evil hell dog? No. All you have summarized and mentioned is correct and beautifuly stated. But let's not undermine the fact that men have these desires and they are perfectly normal. The key here is to control our desires by lowering our gaze and fulfill our desires in a halal manner with our spouse.
Sometimes though, the desire can't be matched by the wife, which can lead to a void and at some point maybe even to divorce.
There are enough muslim men who fear Allah and fulfill their obligations towards there women, loving and caring for them and still find themselves with the desire unmet and therefore frustrated.
Those men are villified for the exact reason that women just can't understand why someone that is emotionally satisfied with their women and have intercourse regularly can't be fully satisfied with just that.
It's hard to explain, but still it is a reality hitting many men.
I hope that the discussion turns away from villifying something that is halal to understanding the good men, the men with taqwa and not villify them for what is natural.
If anyone attacks men, for polygamy, they are simply going off emotions. Try to understand both sides. That's how you do it.
@@Btraain Polyamory is purely a cultural and personality-based behavior, and not entirely biologically as we believe it to be, and like I said, Islam recognizes that and gives way to fulfill that in a halal manner.
But I have yet to find an example of a deeply emotionally connected couple with great intimacy where the man is still sexually unfulfilled. And maybe what you are talking about is not love. When you love someone, truly and sincerely, you would never do anything to hurt them. And like it or not, polygamy hurts women. Perhaps not all women, but many women, and everyone knows that. Let’s not play dumb. It will change your marriage forever and perhaps never be the same again, so the “love” you started out with wither into something like a transactional survival marriage or eventually break up.
When my husband passes away, I likely won’t remarry, even though its 100% my right to Islamically. Why? Because I love and adore him, even when he’s gone, and because I know that he wouldn’t want me to, even though I can.
My sex drive is higher than my husband’s, slightly, maybe because I’m younger. I have a right to divorce him based on my desire not being constantly met. Absolutely. But will I do it? No. Why? Because I love him. And it’s not big enough a deal for me to hurt him. It’s dunya, it’s temporary.
Love changes everything. And marriage, a good marriage, is a compromise. So we should use the word “love” sparingly in this conversation.
And I would need more than one example to really believe that is the case. Merely stating it as fact without evidence is not sufficient, and the As’hab were reverts with a very different culture and background, so it was a totally different experience for them. But the examples of many Prophets who had one partner, as well our first, Adam (as), is an example of the fact it is entirely possible to be satisfied and happy with one spouse. It simply depends on you - who you are, where you come from, your past, your preferences, your personality.
And that’s why when getting married it is essential to consider all of those aspects for a mutually fulfilling marriage.
@@nilox2823 no I don't believe that about ur sex drive lol. Men still have a higher sex drive
@@JewelsLaPerle these men are shit ..my father married my mother nd he never cheated her and there are millions of example like this just look in ur family
New generation of men want to pick and choose which part of Sunnah to follow.."Oh the Prophet PBUH had multiple wives - so will I"..."Oh the Prophet PBUH didnt have secret wives....well I dont have to follow that part of the Sunnah"
Sunnah can be not mandatory, and if ALLAH allow to not tell about a 2nd wife he doesnt did any sin
ALLAH said that a man can have 4 wives, for marry a 2nd you dont need to tell to the first, are separeted and you are not limited to one
As a man who has 2 wives and have had 2 wives for years- the WORST thing you can do is not tell your first wife your getting married/have gotten married to a 2nd wife.
Its allowed in Islam so just accept it brother
You know it's not right when it has to be kept a secret . The least you can do in a marriage is to be transparent, good or bad
You cannot say something is not right, when Islamically it is okay.
@@CatGuy969 just because it’s permissible doesn’t mean you have to do it
@@maryam_4437 that's got nothing to do with what i said
@@CatGuy969 "And confound not truth with falsehood nor hide the truth knowingly . " Qur'an (2:43)
@@maryam_4437 Yes we can do it _because_ it is permissible.
I don’t understand this point of view that Ali will not stop about where a man’s wish or desire is all important/ all encompassing and out of his own control. There are plenty desires/ temptations that Allah placed within a human being which we have to manage and control. Just because most men would want more than one woman is not the start and end of the discussion.
The problem is the whole point of polygony was to take care of widows and orphans and which is why men were instructed in the Quran now men sexualize it
I stopped watching. I just can't it's embarrassing. If the wife is not satisfying the husband at home are these men for real? They're not real men.
How about, be a husband and investigate the issue and resolve it
Work on your foreplay game inside and OUTSIDE the bedroom
Flowers, gifts, massages
Find out her love language
Is she stressed?
Do all this and she'll do the same for you and if she doesn't and you don't have the desire to do the above you got a big fish to fry.
These men sound like they hate women. These women become mothers who's feet become golden tickets.
I just get super disrespectful vibes from dawah and hijab
I wonder who hurt them
@@serenaluna1120 They are friends with Iblis that's what happened
@lianafrancisca8380 I don't know about that but they demonstrate immaturity that's for certain.
Smart topic to discuss for views that's for sure, not smart for the ummah given where the conversations went.
It's okay to lie to your spouse ...
Islam is not a religion of women's emotions.....
Damn still can't believe he said this. It's just so low and infammatory, and will do nothing in terms of dawah, this has a net negative effect imo
@therebelliousprince0077 I don’t know go tell Fatima one of the greatest woman in the world why she was crying when she found out Ali was going to get a second wife and go tell Mohammed peace and blessings be upon him why he didn’t let Ali get a second wife because it hurts his daughter. On top of that when theirs a society that more woman are in a place then men then yes a virgin can marry a married man since theirs no other single man however nowadays statistics show theirs more woman then men so polygony should not be practiced today in age
This is wrong! Men are not polygamous by nature. You can say Islam men are polygamous by nature. Because in Christianity, monogamy goes both ways.
A brother proposed to me, but didn't want to tell his first wife. I reminded him about the offspring being siblings, and that if he passed no one would be able to notify me. Also that if the Mirathi was not done properly he would suffer, so he must tell her or stick with just one.
The 10 Commandments is VERY clear.
Always be faithful to your husband and wife.
Always tell the truth.
What is the blasphemy on this page?
obviously his 1st wife objected...so should he ask permission from her? That wouldn't make him a man. This is a tough decision by men! They love their wife, but they also love another woman whom they want to take as a wife/concubine. There is no simple answer. But the obvious answer for a wife or woman is, that they must love God and his laws and trust that just because their husband wants another wife, doesn't mean that he loves them any less or differently. In this case who would be able to counsel a wife on this matter? We can thank the Western Christian worlds influence on society for determining in the first place that a man can only have 1 wife! It's influence has permeated the whole world and influenced Islam, Buddaism, Judaism, Hindu, etc...
@@kephersit’s not about permission it’s just to tell her because no matter what she will end up finding out. And if she finds out 10 years from now when you have multiple children with the other wife I think it will absolutely destroyed her and you children with her. Plus the kids could have been friends if they got the chance to grow up together but you took that away from them and they most likely will not like each other or even hate each other.
Masha Allah sister - you behaved in a beautiful way, may Allah reward you.
you are going to destroy that woman if you accept the offer, you're stabbing her femininity and ego plzz don't
If having a secret marriage is justifiable, I don’t know what to say.. we need to respect the wife too, let her know and give her the choice to leave or stay. Anyone needs to hear the truth, because truth will come sooner or later
A secret marriage is justifiable. If you listened properly, you would have known. If you don't want to accept the truth, there's nothing wrong with the truth, it's a problem with yourself.
@@999legend8 then what abt this hadth of ibn majah 1896
It was narrated from Muhammad bin Hatib that the Messenger of Allah said:
“What differentiates between the lawful and the unlawful is the Daff and raising the voices at the time of marriage
I now advocate women own guns, and have secret husbands. That if one turns violent, we’ll then.
A lot of Wives will demand divorce and take the children and the family will be destroyed and the kids life will shatter into pieces with broken homes, Even If the man or the woman get married it's not guaranteed that the new wife/Husband are willing to take care of the children so a lot of the time it's better to keep it a secret from the wife because she can't control her emotions and will act up radically and will regret her decision.
It says lying is allowed 😅
So Allah expected you to lie to her
Polygamy in Islam isn't permitted over lust or desire, in fact, what Islam did about this issue is put a limit to the number of women a man can marry. If there is not material need for it, then do not do it, don't even think about doing it behind your wife's back, its a huge disrespect towards her. Islam obviously discourages polygamy. If you do not care about your wife's feelings, why should she care about your desires???
Because if she doesn't, Angles will curse her all night, a wife in islam owes her husband her body, she will go to hell if she refuses. Read sahih bukhari you will see.
Marriage is for lust and desire, get married mean that you want to stay with a woman in pleasure in the way that ALLAH give you
@@kinglaw1882 Thats wrong otherwise the prophet wouldn't have married 8 wives who were all widows and divorcees! A man usually doesn't lust over divorcees so you are lying against the prophet!
@@JH-zs3bs same goes for the man lol if he doesnt fulfill her and breaks her and hurts her hes cursed by angels too i guess u haven't read the full hadith
@@Maha_The_Army Feel free to post it.
The Prophet pbuh had only 1 wife ra3, until she passed, Allah swt ordered him pbuh to marry the others to show who you can marry.
Polygamy is NOT mandatory in Islam. It IS obligatory to be honest and truthful. Lying is haram. So at least the issue of lying should be settled. In order to have more than one wife a man must be completely fair. Most human beings will not be able to do so. Since polygamy is not mandatory and complete fairness is required and Lying is haram, a man should not be selfish and cowardly. Discuss this matter before you get married. Choose a spouse that is compatible.
"Lying is haram"?? listen again to what Muhammad Hijab said 🙃
@LYGLO Apologetics Muhammed Hijab is a great debater, very intelligent but he is not infallible.
@@oooo-ki6jj if you don't trust or don't care what Muhammad the "hijab" said, then you should read what Muhammad the "profit" said about lying 😆
Complete fairness in giving equal time commitment and money resources is very very difficult. There is a reason Jesus created a new standard that marrying another woman is adultery. Jesus is real prophet, Muhammad is not a real prophet.
I'm terrified to get married. The more I look at how much I'll be sacrificing to him as a woman, literally rearranging my organs to give us children...I cannot imagine a worse thing than having him turn around and marry someone else.
I don't think our human nature is the end all be all. The element which separates us from animals is that we are able to have second layer decision making skills/free will outside of our basic instincts.
If a man isn't intelligent enough to have a brain beyond an animal instinct, that is super unattractive to me. It's just not my preference :/
There are men who love their wives and would rather not be with another woman. Why? Because of emotional connection. I believe the polygamous nature of males is majority sexual, you can't go around falling in love with everyone with the same quality of feeling.
I really have a hard time believing there will be equal love between all wives, at the end of the day someone will always have less no matter what.
I also don't want his attention to be divided leading to less overall involvement in me and my children. Seeing how much I'll give, I expect someone to give their all to me also.
I'll make it clear to any potentials that if he wants multiple wives to look elsewhere. End
Men can fall in love with many women and not just based on sexual needs too. Men and women are different biologically, the more you understand the easier it would be for you. Majority of men don't even have multiple wives so you got nothing to worry about. But if you are worried then put a clause in the contract that says you can divorce if he marries another woman. Marriage works when both husband and wife agrees with what they want
I understand your point. However, it is impossible for him to love them equally. He has to spend his nights and money fairly on them. The wives don't have to live together if they don't want to. The Prophet peace be upon him said, "Allah has decreed jihad on men and jealousy on women. Whoever bears that with patience seeking the reward will receive it without reckoning." Besides, Allah tells us, "Humans are swayed by greed." This is also our nature. Jealousy and women being greedy is also expected. Just talk to him before getting married.
My mom said it's worth it. She was not in a polygamous marriage, but she said wife and motherhood were beyond worth it.
@@j86485 yeah that’s what I’ll do inshallah, it’s better to get this topic out of the way BEFORE marriage. I also believe women can love multiple times, I think it depends on the person not the gender. I’d prefer someone who wants to focus all their love on one because I’ll also do that for him
@Johnny Joestar of course they can, otherwise women would never remarry after the first marriage ends
MH said:"I'm not gonna follow the religion of women's feelings."
Is islam not also the religion of children's feelings, when they are affected by their mother's heart ache? How are these men honorable for their own selfish desires, while they cosigned to monogamy at first to even find a wife?
They don’t care about anyone but themselves, if they did they’d think and stop for a second.
Because Islam gives men such rights. If Allah allows Muslim men to indulge in their fetishs (having extra women), then that should tell you that Islam *does not* respect women.
@@shabs2134 It's not a fetish, it's a natural desire. Men are polygamous by nature. Why do you think Rich men cheat with multiple women? Why do you think Men had concubines as spoils of war in the past? It's what they want. That's why Allah allowed polygamy for men through marriage. So that they won't be dead beats and will be responsible for their women. Marriage keeps the family unit intact. Keep coping.
@@B0ss_Editz Humans are a pair bonding species, most men throughout human history have only ever had *one* wife or no wife at all. You obviously have to defend this sexual degeneracy because this is what your degenerate prophet taught and practiced.
Some powerful men throughout history have had concubines and sex slaves, that doesn't make it right. Morality is objective, what is wrong today will always be wrong whether in the past or in the future. Enslaving and raping women will always be wrong. It seems you are the one who is coping hard because you're the one trying to defend the indefensible. So I say - *keep coping* 🤙
@@B0ss_Editzso slaves are acceptable? You just want lust? Think about your moral compass and self control.
I can't believe they make guys who won't get a second wife out of respect for their wife just as praiseworthy as someone who secretly gets a second wife. If he dies in a car accident, siblings of the second and first wife might marry each other by mistake. How can you just disregard the sabr of a monogamous man like that? Our prophet (saw) was also monogamous for a very long time with Khadija.
Wtf, this guy has gone insane. He's literally encouraging muslim men to marry more than 1 in today's world. Ladies you make sure your husband doesn't come through this guy.
This is what your god and his prophet encourage. Leave Islam and trust in Jesus. He sacrificed himself for your sins because he loves you, unlike this god that your worship. Jesus offers you forgiveness of all your sins, including the ones that you are too ashamed to tell anyone about. God sees everything so He knows all those evil sins you’ve committed and He hates them. He will judge everyone who has sinned against Him, including me and you. But He is offering forgiveness through Jesus only. God bless you. May He guide you to Jesus.
In a marriage if you want to build a great relationship with your spouse you have to be transparent. You cannot lie to one another especially when it’s something so huge as wanting to marry again, the first wife has a right to know and decide if she would still be happy in the relationship, regardless of the consequences.
There are women who are ok with polygamy and there are women who strongly prefer monogamy.
Its important to build great communication with your spouse, work through your issues in your marriage and try your best to keep each other happy. If you want something great you have to work hard for it!
May Allah swt help and guide us all, Ameen.
Sister, drop the feminism and follow Islam. In Islam we don't need women's "permission" or "approval" to marry a second wife.
@@awrjkf
Being transparent with your wife and truthful in your relationship is not called "feminism". Lying is a sin.
It's important to treat your spouse with respect, this is what islam teaches us.
It is the 1st wife's right to know if her husband wants to marry a 2nd wife, if she's not happy with it, she has a choice to get a divorce.
@@awrjkf everything I don't like is feminism. Lazy thinking.
@@maluill Solomon 600 wife
Are you saying lying to your wife is bad? And yet the prophet did it. Are you saying the prophet is bad?
Bro can't even get one wife into today's society let alone a second wife.
😂😂😂
100%
😂true
I rather be single or un alive, then be pressured by a man who picks and chooses (conveniently) his “rights” in religion, and marries another women. Especially in secrecy.
Then stay at your dads home then, we don’t care! You will have competition, get used to it Cinderella!
@@yourdaddy3571 LOL I’m married, have children, 1 on the way, we own a business together and I don’t need my “daddy”, as you say. I have fully adapted to my husband’s family. Sorry, your wife couldn’t do the same with you. 😂 Be careful what you say.
@@yourdaddy3571 Additionally, I don’t have competition. I’ll not compete - at all. If I ever felt the sense to compete - game over. My husband nor I would be in the positions we are if it wasn’t for one another’s support and actions together. Stay blinded by appearance only, I have that as well. My husband scored, as so did I.
@@Karatefit101 you mean wives 😂😂 See, as you relegated your husband, no one can relegate me! I’m a strong personality type sweetie, you’ll be doing dishes all day if you tired horsing around at my house! 😂🤣
@@Karatefit101 scored?! If zero was the goal then I’m sure he did 😂 you have a obedient husband, and nothing wrong with that, poor guy!
Definitely need a part 2.
And need MH on it to keep with Quran/sunnah and not go round circles debating emotions/feelings
Who is MH? Is he scholar or just some man without wisdom who dare give advise others?
@@bogumilaskowron2680Mohammed Hijab. ( The guy sat next to Ali )
@@bogumilaskowron2680 what wisdom you have? Clown
So your understanding is that the whole set-up of men sitting with other women discussing these matters is in accordance with the Qur'an and Sunnah?
@@abumusab7060 the men are sitting separate to the women and the women are covered, and they’re talking about a purposeful topic, bring me a Hadith or verse from the Quran that forbids this if you’re so righteous
Yeah but the difference is that when the sahaba returned to their first wife. They did tell them about it. They didn’t hide it like modern men do
Adding the "completely equally and fulfilling all responsibilities equally to all wives" to the topic of polygamy is unbelievably important and also constantly left out. Many men do not understand how difficult this task is. If you cannot do this, which most men would not be able to do so 100% without error, it becomes haram. Do not forget that. Personally as a man in my late 20s who still isnt married, I dont see it being possible for me unless, InshaAllah, Allah makes me super successful and rich in life. To take care of myself and one wife in this economy alone is difficult, hence why I am still not married. Add a child to that, its exponentially more difficult. My ego and pride are not so big and filled with delusion that I would think, "Yes I can easily take care of 2 wives and multiple children without bias or 100% equity". Also I agree with the brother who is on there with his wife, it dont feel the need to have a second wife. That goes to a different topic, you must choose your wife very carefully. If you do, there should be no deficiency in the relationship in which you would then need to seek another, unless you simply have very active hormones, to which Allah knows best and has created us all differently, so I will not judge you. But the average person should strive to find a woman they can be completely content with, and women should strive to satisfy their husbands so they do not feel the need for another woman.
@@shimmer4771 I didn't mention love at any point. Also, someone thinking they can do something that clearly isn't feasible isn't them having inflated ego or being delusional? At best I'd call that very overconfident, which is an understatement when talking about taking on 2 or more wives and treating them equally.
I'm not saying people who can do it are egotistical or delusional, I'm referring to myself(if I thought I could pull it off successfully as I am now) and/or men who do try it but don't do it correctly.
@@javidgt8which generally most women's don't sadly, they don't satisfy their husbands
Elhamdulilah! I left Islam and these information that I get from these discussions are just confirming that my decision was right!
Why don't men who want a second wife tell about this before marriage to their first wife and if she is not ok then find someone else who is ok with it... Discuss all this before marriage....and if your wife said before marriage that she is not ok with you taking another wife and still you married her then you should not take another wife... Simple... all these things should be discussed before marriage... So such conflicts won't arise
@@NiceGuy88 yeah you can do that as per Islam but culturally if a women demands to puts any condition in her nikah contract forget about this any...she will be called names and judged that she is bossy and has started keeping terms even before marriage what will she do after the marriage etc etc... She will have a bad reputation before even getting married... Sadly our sick culture is like that... So it's better that the man informs her before marriage that he has such intentions of having second wife and that will help her and the guy to pick correct person... Also avoiding marriage with the wrong person is way better than get the marriage annulled... Coz in later case the kids might be affected... So it's best men discuss these things before marriage
@@sanahgdcvh Your points are also somewhat, right, sister, I actually didn't think of these.
May Allah(S.W.T) grant you a righteous husband and bless you and keep you steadfast.
Ameen.
@@NiceGuy88 ameen...May Allah bless you also brother
@@NiceGuy88 in your logic the man can put in his condition that the wife also should not command anything other then what he obligated to do (providing:food and clothes and home)
Cuz she can't ask the man to pay for medical care cuz it's not obligated.
In my opinion if the man is wealthy and he can take care of multiple wife's he must get married to multiple women cuz a lot of sisters are single and struggling to find a good partner.
Masha Allah. Very well said sister Sana and brother niceguy
as a muslim man who loves the idea of having more than 1 wife, I do not think it's okay to just go marry another woman without even discussing with your current wife, that's just very messed up. imagine if your father brought along another woman home and said she's also your mother. wtf? these "men" should have some shame.
@@nova5stars729 you know that men are tested in their rights? meaning that just because ur allowed to have more than 1 doesn’t mean u have the right? if ur motived are not of the sunnah it would end up in a disaster anyways but it needs wisdom to actually understand that men are TESTED in their rights. and if it causes fitna between u and ur wife, fine do it. but then don’t cry if u bear witness in front of allah for causing fitna between u and ur wife
Well your religion allows it and you have to believe it is a perfect system. Blame Islam, not the ones telling us about it.
OK simp
@@bustinjieber2673 no islam doesnt, you are ignorant
None of these guys would be happy if their dads brought home a second wife lol
Listening to all this drama makes me appreciate being singel. And should my (future) husband wish a second wife I am gonna tell him " There is the door, hasta lavista baby". My sanity and mental well-being is my ticket to Jannah. Most of the time polygyny in our time and age brings down a women and her iman.
This! 😭
Although you have good point with wellbeing/sanity and Iman, if it would happen, it would ultimately happen cause Allah swt. allowed it, to test you and if you would just do that "hasta la vista" thing, I dont think you'd pass the test. But most men still cannot afford more than 1 wife anyway, not only materially but also psychophysically cause the life is already too demanding even as solo person, let alone with 2 other persons to respond to, so I'd imagine for most men it's more of a detriment than a benefit, even for those who can afford it.
You cant say there is the door to me if i bring you in my house haha
Secret marriage it is.
Polygyny also saves a lot of people from zina. Lots of single and divorced sisters who cannot find good brothers. What about that?
Lots of men who want second wives instead of haram relationships (which is available everywhere and is easy). What about that?
Lots of career Muslim women who want part time husbands as a second or third wife. How about that?
It’s easy to say «polygamy is not for this day and age». What about those problems I just mentioned? And most importantly: What about people’s chastity (which is priority number one and main objective of nikah)?
It’s easy to say «I’ll divorce and show him the door». Is it easy to remarry and remain chaste? If chastity is not a concern then there is no need to care about polygyny. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Polygamy is illegal in Canada and is considered a criminal offense under the Criminal Code:
Definition
Polygamy is defined as having a conjugal relationship with more than one person at the same time. This includes bigamy, which is marrying someone while already married to another.
Penalties
The penalty for polygamy is up to five years in prison.
Prosecutions
Prosecutions for polygamy are rare, but the law was upheld in 2011. In 2014, Winston Blackmore and James Oler were charged with polygamy.
Challenges
The law has faced challenges under the Charter due to issues of religious freedom.
Public opinion
There is widespread public opposition to polygamy in Canada, with 82% of Canadians opposing its legalization.
Canada's first laws against polygamy were passed in 1890, and were initially targeted at Mormons. The criminalization of polygamy is based on the assumption that it has an adverse impact on women and children.
M Hijab is unfair to use words like 'worship' regarding a woman's feelings. A sincere, caring, Muslim man will always consider the feelings and emotions of his wife. We aren't robots. We are humans and Allah has made women sensitive with feelings and emotions.
@TheRebelliousPrince001, a woman's emotional and physical needs aren't her 'whims and desires'. I don't have 'whims and desires'. I have a mature, reasonable mindset, been married, Alhamdullillah for 27 yrs now so I'm more than qualified to speak on what constitutes a good marriage. Discarding your wife's concerns and ignoring her emotional well being won't make you a good or Islamic husband. Hijab is using the Islamic card unwisely. Islam permits 2,3 and 4 wives. Stop looking at it as a privilege, rather it's a huge responsibility. Why aren't these men travelling to Syria or Yemen to take on responsibility of widows and their children??
@@esthellakomerl8084 My parents were married 27 yrs all the way till his passing in Oct. 11 to cancer. He's a martyr. I miss my dad. ❤
Anything for clout. NOTHING beneficial in this shows at all. ONLY for hype and controversy. Nice one Ali
Are you a muslim?
Did you just accuse your brother in faith to do "anything for clout"?
Will you stand before Allah and tell Him that you know Ali Dawahs heart and intention to say these things?
Or is Allah the Judge, the Witness and the All-Knowing?
Brother, you can say I dislike XYZ in your video. XYZ is wrong, you should change XYZ because of XYZ but this is not it.
But to dismiss your brother, discourage him and his effort to make islamic content is not the islamic way of giving advices.
I hope you are a young boy who is a little careless in his youth, please overthink your comment.
"I had no choice but to get a second wife behind my wife's back without telling her" Wow. Is this what Muhammad PBUH and the companions did?
When sisters threaten men with lies and not showing their kids and using state against them, you best damn believe the prophet pbuh and companions didn’t do this because they didn’t deal with such woman.
@fifi sweet even if the husband is a scholar, women wouldn't want polygamy. How many women actually like the idea of polygamy let alone accept it? Yet i see no man denying the rights of women given by Allah
Women dont want to share resources, ots all about money, women dont give an f about you, thats the real reason why women dont want polygamy, women are selfish creatures, advice to men, dont even worry about what females think or want , cuz all they want is what good for them not for you
@@AliDawah lmen at the time of prophet muhamed peace be upon him was better than now. Why are you act like men at this time is like companion 😭🤦♀️😊😅
For the women in the comments please understand the quran and sunnah supersedes your emotions. We are not talking about the man who is abusive and does not treat his wife good.
Your so institutionalized by the western mindset that your willing to compromise on your religion.
Your almost expecting the man to disobey the creator for your emotions.
Islam has given women rights, it has empowered women to be where they are today. Its truly disgusting how you slander Muslim's just because it does not correlate with your feelings. THIS is the BITTER truth you guys must acknowledge.
Marrying a second wife should be done with extreme caution because if he can't do justice between the wives the punishment for him is severe. So I hope these brothers are thinking about that before they take this step.
Anyway who can afford to have 2 wives. Not normal people.
They think about their se xual desires they don't care about punishment how do you know they are actuall Muslim and not atheists who taking advantage of Islam?
There are some crazy selfish men who thinks they can marry four wives and put them in one small house, to be stuck there fighting all day with too many children , no peace or privacy, but just putting them under one roof is sufficent and providing barely basic food and clothing. To them that’s fair.
@@kitty5872 May Allah guide them
They need to fear Allah. And any woman who is in that situation should get out of the marriage. She has good reasons to.
I can't suffer the trauma of my husband marrying a second wife. I think it's better to go through life alone and not get married than deal with all this.
But it’s halal tho sister what’s wrong he still loves, sisters have to understand if he marries a second he still loves his wife so much
Sorry to hear that, what would be so traumatising about this if you don’t mind me asking?
If you can keep your chastity staying single, that's fine. What is not okay is starting to look at haram and fantasizing etc, then it's time to get married. Chastity is priority number one.
I understand your feelings, but marriage protects you from doing zina.
Its her choice to be celibate as long as she can control her desires for the rest of her life
I'm.. confused.
Here is what I agree with;
Polygamy is part of Islam ✅
You don't need permission from your first wife ✅
The nikkah is not a secret ✅
Yes men are by nature polygamous ✅
If men were given the option they would have multiple wives✅
What I don't understand is that, when the tafaseer was used as an example in relation to the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam and Mariya Kipti, is this- that Mariya Kipti was a bondswomen, she was not a wife. The Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam bedding her, was permissible for him because in that time bedding the women in your 'right hand possessions' (bondswomen) was acceptable, it was permissable. No such context exists now for muslim men to implement on.
The example is entirely invalid because Mariya Kipti was not a wife. And the entire discussion is regarding marriage. The Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam did not hide a secret marriage from his other wives. The reason for hiding this intimacy could be entirely for a seperate reason (i.e the known jealousy/gheerah of the mothers of the believers) - and Allaah knows best.
Even then the Ummaahatul mu'mineen were given an option to stay in marriage to the Prophet or to be left honourably because they UNDERSTOOD that all the marriages of the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwasalam were done for specific reasons (i.e strengthening ties of tribes or breaking the cultural norms when he was married to Zaynab radhiAllaahu anha) and yet Allaah acknowledged their gheerah too, that maybe for some it might get too difficult to accept polygamy. But they chose Allaah, His Messenger and the Akhirah, we know this as stated in the Qur'an.
Its even more important to say that the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam was married to 1 women for 25 years! ONE. From when he was 25 years old Up until her death, when the Prophet Sallaahu alayhi wassalam was 50 (this is now 10 YEARS into prophethood) and then the marriages were ordained for the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam in the remaining 10 years or so of his life as he remained single for a while after the death of Khadijah RadhiAllaahu anha (approx 3 years?)
There is even the verse in the Qur'an that tells the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam where there are no more marriages for him after the ones he'd married.
Where in the seerah do we find any explanation of what brothers try to justify today?
Yes in fiqh/islamic jurisprudence these rulings are 'available', because Islamic jurisprudence deals with just that, every possible scenario, but they are 'options' not grounded rulings.. yes they are part of Islaam but ethically and morally men have an obligation towards women too.
Where did the Prophet Sallaahu alayhiwassalam or any sahaba HIDE a MARRIAGE from their wives? Not the sexual relations with bondswomen like the examples of Ali RadhiAllaahu anhu or the Mariya Kipti ones, but WIVES.
It's also important to understand that there were no binding obligations to bondswomen. But to wives there ARE binding obligations, the nikkah is a contract, a responsibility before Allaah and ofcourse all the other responsibilities that spouses have towards each other.
That's what really got to me that by the end of the 47 minutes I've listened to so far, marriage, which is so sacred, so beautiful, was watered down to just about sexual intimacy.
Where is the Rahmah, muwaddah and sakinah, the purposes of marriage..
Anyway. Allaah knows best.
Agreed!!!👏👏👏👏
beautiful, salient point ما شاء الله
MH needs to be on every show.
Is he scholar?
Agreed. The only one who objectively and sensibly gives responses based on Quran and Sunnah rather than personal opinion or feelings.
@@bogumilaskowron2680 So only a scholar should come on? How many scholars are available (or even willing) to come on to these shows?
@@bogumilaskowron2680 by your logic none of these guests should be on the show as none of them are scholars... Hijab was the only one to cite his sources and base everything on Quran and Sunnah
@@muhammadislam4640 is in Quran written lie to your wife and take secretly second wife ?