The most challenging for me is being very sensitive, empathetic, and compassionate, being misunderstood, overlooked, neglected, and looked at as crazy due to my differences. I also find it challenging living in a world designed for extroverts who seems to rule the world for the majority of people. INFJs are born to move the world in ways that other personality types could not.
For me the most challenging aspect of being INFJ is all the self-deceptions I pick up in others. It's easy to deal with a deliberate liar. I simply avoid them. Dealing with someone who is lying to themselves and doesn't even know it is much more difficult. If you are honest you hurt them, but if you aren't, you hurt yourself.
The toughest part for me is explaining what's in my head. Sometimes, I'm desperate to be heard because i need help figuring something out, but i just can't seem to get my point across. Most people aren't patient enough to listen to one of my long-winded and convoluted explanations , much less undestand it.
Oh my goodness, yes. Sometimes I just say that I’m not good at articulating things. Like all these things go through my head all day and when I try to pour them out of my mouth… different story. 😞 I wondered… is it because I think in picture like thought so when it comes to putting words to it I struggle? I relate soooo much with this ❤️
Our minds and thoughts are like a spiderweb, the original thought is the center and everything we think of during a conversation relates and most people can’t follow along. I loose most people in conversation 😅
Wow!! I needed to hear this because I've really been trying to focus more on the great things about being an INFJ myself instead wishing I could be any other personality but an INFJ.😊
I door slammed the world. I moved to a remote location in the Southern California high desert with my INFP mate. I only leave the property when necessary. I love music. Tolerate TV. I get overwhelmed with the amount of necessary weeding and yard work but love hand watering with a water hose. I keep my life simple and pleasant. I am here and the wicked wicked world is out there.
I only come across as cold-hearted because I do NOT want my empathy and compassion to be used against me. Edit:: Thanks for the likes! Not saying I'm always cold-hearted but once burnt, twice shy, ya know?
It is definitely a cold world out there 😔 there’s still hope though and just acknowledging that you have empathy and compassion is huge, Thankyou for sharing this with us 😌
I've always felt like there is a language barrier between what I tap into with my thoughts and what can be verbalized, and it doesn't matter which language spoken. I feel like it takes many words to explain. Refering to the great spider web comment: I can go right to the center of that spider web myself but when talking to people, I have to circle around that web to lead them to my center of thought. Its difficult to get people to slow down long enough or care enough to actively listen for 3 mins straight without constant interrupting questions that misdirect or looking at phone or that dumb apple watch which is connected to phone. The whole interaction tends to leave one feeling "why did I even bother?"
Yes! It feels like constant mental pain sometimes tbh. We see every angle of every issue. We see & understand things beyond most other people’s understanding across a really wide range of topics. It is quite exhausting.
The more I'm learning about INFJ the more certain I am that I am an INFJ. I laughed to myself when you described how infj's have difficulty staying present and focussed on conversations because they are observing so many different details and energies of people. For me the distractions are mostly visual (noticing colour coordinated clothing and decor in a room etc) and observing body language of everyone. Im quite often feeling too overwhelmed by all the incoming information in a room full of people to have a proper conversation with anyone. Also, people tend to describe me as 'a lovely person and very caring' but still I seem to have a hard time deeply connecting with anyone. I worry if I open up I'll burden people and being too open and friendly can put people off. But when people do open up to me, I listen to them for as long as it takes. For me the most challenging thing in a social environment is knowing how much of the real me to show others without coming across as oversharing and vulnerable. Most people like to put across an air of self confidence and often they don't seem authentic or they just feel patronising to me some how. I just cannot be anything but my true self. The only way to get around this is to simply not speak. Just smile and nod in approval if I'm in a group setting, which is genuine, but doesn't give myself away too much. But then paradoxically, sometimes it's all too much to contain myself and I do overshare. Then I feel some shame. I guess I'm a very private person with a strong need for connection. What a dilemma!
I never knew any of this until 8 years ago I went to see a therapist. She had me take a personality test because the coping mechanisms she was showing me wasn’t working for me when they work in her other clients. Thats how I found out I was an INFJ. 8 years later it’s only now, through these videos I’m really learning myself. P.S. once she found out my personality type she was able to help me and I improved in my depression and how I viewed life.
For me, another INFJ, I’ve realized depression is mearly though patterns causing a depression end result. I would recommend studying dr Joe despenza and his process for reprogramming your brain.
Wow! You saw an intelligent therapist, good for you! Here in France psychologiat do not give credit to personnality tests unfortunately. It ia interesting that what works for other didnt work for you hence for infjs... it shows how different we work inside...
INFJ’s aren’t, though. While they may judge others’ decisions, this scrupulousness applies to themselves, as well, and they seldom despise others enough to even reject anyone.
Don't think that any of the other INFJ videos out there elaborate as deep as this one here about the dark sides and in terms of uncovering the unique challenges this personality type has. Brilliant.
Just discovered I was an INFJ last year. I still can not quite understand how things that took me 40+ years to figure out about myself are on a few of the better RUclips videos, almost word for word. My existence and experience, my alienation, my loneliness, my pain, my inexorable compulsion to do what's right when my brain screams no as it is against my material or physical best interests. We have less free will than I had spent my life thinking we had, and most shockingly of all, I AM NOT BROKEN in some deep way I could never explain before. God, The Matrix, or the universe, something has a twisted sense of humor; you pick. This is well beyond coincidence. I am 10 different kinds of stubborn and rational about all things so no tin foil hat or reading myself into a situation; in broad strokes this is me. That is both amazing to see and hear, also slightly terrifying as to the possible meanings. Thank you for this video.
The perfect relationship..........two INFJ's, together. It works, we are like a mirror to each other and easily make positive changes. We don't need others anymore, as we are best friends too. Whether it is business or just having fun, we are always on the same page. It probably helps that we are both Scorpio also. A power couple, without all that indecisive stuff. Neither takes stage with the other and we are compassionate to the bone. I hope this will encourage others.
I found this out too late. Now that we have eeg cloning you have to share your wife with people who "monitor" (corrupt, manipulate, control, gaslight, coerce, brainwash, program) all in ways that make someone appear like someone there not. EEG cloning/heterodyning is the worst thing in history so is astral projecting, remote viewing/perception/influencing anything that accesses someone else's mind is rape much more penetrating than the regular definition. How people could do this is beyond anything I could visualize myself doing to anyone. Sorry for the rant but knowing there is someone compatible out there and it never being an option, even in my mind is just the last heartbreak I would never had expected
I am Scorpio and I believe INFJ, and feel they are both very much alike... I wish that kind of relationship so badly. I don't know what my husband is, and it is hard, hate feeling like a bad guy all the time but can't shut up.
@@somethingbambi875 Your partner, definitely not a Scorpio. Since you are Scorpio, you will go far in this life. Your goals are long term and futuristic but it will be difficult to accept anyone in your life that is not on that page with you. When you are young you can do anything....................but ultimately you will need someone like you, who respects you and innerstands you. As a Scorpio there will be many hardships and surprises, not of your doing, that you will have to deal with. Remember that you are of the warrior class and put away ideas of being passive to get along. Do not be afraid of anything. Learn everything and you just might survive being a Scorpio, most do not. I am loving all that is and all that is not. This means that I am loving you, also.
INFJ woman married to an INFJ man - yes he's my best friend, we both have the same outlook on life, we both think outside the box, life can be great fun together etc but some of the difficulties mentioned here, especially the indecision and thinking about countless possibilities and anxiety about the future can be a nightmare to the other partner. It's one thing trying to choose a menu item, another when choosing a job or other major life decision. As a fellow INFJ I understand this and so we analyse all the scenarios and possibilities, finally reach a decision...And then it changes again and so on and so forth
I am an INFJ I really care about people but could not care less about whether or I fit in I have had people say to me “ what is it about you? Whenever we get together we solve the problems of the universe?” I also write humor. In talking to people I will share how high my standards are but have to explain that it is ok to not meet this standard. This can be really confusing to people I don’t know if others could handle it. Despite the drawbacks though, I LOVE being an INFJ
I find that a lot of people like me from the start, but in the long haul a lot of people think im a tad bit weird. I have a very small circle of friends & that is exactly what i want..(I cut a ton of people from my life including the ex! ..& much happier for it!)
I’ve always felt that I’m grateful it is me that has these challenges instead of my sister or brother. I would not want them to feel the lonesomeness or lack of understanding that I feel so often.
I would offer that the INFJ is neither hypocritical nor contradictory...they just 'draw the line' in a place that others would consider unusual for themselves. There's a time for everything, and that 'time' has to feel appropriate for them. 'Red Flags' do not equal 'appropriate time'. They'll also wait and see if others will be aware enough to know where to 'draw the line' - and if they muff it, 'So long, sucker!'
All true Especially hard to stay in the present and a little detail in a conversation will take me soaring to another place and time. It like i am walking to do something.. Then there goes my thoughts someplace else...then when I come back to the present..I forget monetarily what I was going do. Ugh!!!
We start out thinking when young that others are just like us. As we age we discover no one Gets Us! We realize they cannot be the same at all. We much later realize what others think as odd birds or gifts - or unicorn magic we feel as a curse much of the time. We grow into it slow. With reticence! And many go HERMIT MODE late in life to avoid. Just worn out - exhausted. No matter what you try it IS WHAT IT IS! REST and peace is so very Appreciated! We still do other spiritual deep things more are not aware of unless an INFJ. No one would believe it anyway. Or be angry if they knew. Yes, we are gun shy.
The only ones I can think of that might be able to withstand being an INFJ might be INTJs. They are similar enough to us and know what it is like having Ni as their dominant funtuon.
All of this is so accurate! No one liked to go shopping (because of poor decision making skills) or eat at a restaurant with me (because of the menu thing), so to enjoy these excursions and the person's company better in these situations, I will not really shop when I am with someone except for one or two items that I know I need or want, decided beforehand, and we will determine where to eat beforehand and then I look at the menu online before we get there. That has helped a lot.
I don't know anyone who could handle a day in my head. I can't even handle being in my head. I'm stuck in it, though, so I'll keep trying to gain some control over it's wild ways.
I don’t know what I am. I always feel like nah It's not what I meant, It's not what I want, It's not what I want to do. I am never satisfied by me. And always afraid to face extroverts, narcissists, alfas even super empaths. Where my life is full of These complicated personalities. I feel challenging to face them. They are not bad. They just what they are. Sometimes being with them drains my Energy and some other day I feel grateful to have them in my life. Cause I feel like they are great cause they know what they are and have a nice control over what they should do and what they shouldn't. I Don't know how to have control over my emotions. Sometimes I just sit in my room and cry saying I hate my self. The moment I feel useless, lonely the very next moment I feel proud of me all of a sudden. I am full of mixed emotions. Idk what is happening. I feel like someone is just controlling all my emotions. I Don't share my this side to anyone. I find it hard to explain them. So I just stay quite. I Don't do things bc I don’t want. I juat can't. Like someone is controlling it. I feel so good when I can say what is exactly in my mind. But it hardly happens
Fellow team members and I took a work shop at a college in MI back when I was working in the corp. world. I had no idea about these personally types…I was surprised to find out this is what I was/am. I remember having difficulty with the questions that were asked on the initial assessment. The responses were multiple choice and I can remember the strain it was to choose just one response. The rest of the team were all various types of extroverts…which didn’t surprise me at all. I was surprised at what an introvert really was as I would have never thought of myself that way as I used to get up in front of people to do training, give presentations, participate in endless meetings and manage people in geography dispersed areas. I did the work, but hated it, and longed to be back in my cubicle working on a spreadsheet or problem solving. Living in my head…yeah, over thinking …yeah, giving too many chances…yeah….etc. I’m retired now, and without work to keep my mind occupied for a while, the overthinking can get out of hand at times. RUclips is one of my diversions these days.
#7 Decision making made me laugh.. That is me to a "T"! Here is my most extreme example: When I moved into my house, I did not like the doorknobs so when the doors were painted I had all the knobs removed. It took me 4yrs to choose new ones...so for four yrs all the indoor doors had holes and no knobs. Fortunately, I was forced to choose because I had to get s few new interior/exterior doors that needed knobs. On the other hand when I know what I want l am quick: I put a bid in for both my houses the as soon as I saw them and both times I did get the house. I guess these extremes show our contradictions. It is not easy being an INFJ for so many reasons. These videos help.
We are completely comfortable with respectful disagreement. No doubt, we’ve probably already processed our position. When added to the empathetic information being read in the moment,….our deep responses catch most off guard.
I don't get into labels but infj experiences, difficulties faced as well as interactions with others and how I feel really resonates with me even though I have no intention of labeling myself as one although, It's sooo true.....to feel like a walking contradiction it's challenging & difficult....ppl confuse it with bipolar 🤦♀️ in truth feeling deeply can be extremely frustrating sometimes. It makes it easier to isolate sometimes! Try explaining to a person how you both love & hate them for the same thing! Yeah that'll go over well!
1:08 People are not unidimensional. I don’t know about others, but I despise boxes. I am watching this for the sole purpose of understanding (painful as it is) what is others’ views about those whom they labelled INFJ.
Welcome to my world. 😆 I honestly don't know how folks would be like if they had my default processing and viewing of reality. I have yet to see someone similar.
No. I don't know anyone who could handle being inside my brain. The only reason I don't lose it completely is the understanding I'm built this way. Built to handle it. Mostly. 😆
I both hare and love these videos. Love them because it genuinely feels like someone understands me and what I go through every day. Hate them because it makes me literally cry that a person whom I will in all likelihood never meet, narrating a video, understands me better than pretty much everyone around me ever will.
Oh My! Thank you for explaining me! The restaurant thing is So real. And staying in the moment with strangers.....unless I'm needed by the stranger👍 at 60 I'm just learning why my husband thinks I'm crazy🙂 - finally something I can work with, lol
As an INFJ, while pondering upon this video, i got 2 thoughts. Outside looking in, I'm a psycho. Inside looking out, gosh, all that is normal everyday life for me, what is wrong with people nowadays 😂😂😂😂
@@anandaalvarez4336 Well, we must eat something until we eventually get good enough in Yoga to stop eating at all. Although there are of course fruitarians, who only eat what plants freely offer us to eat (yes, totally a thing), that diet may not be very healthy. So yes, we should eat them. But they have feelings nevertheless. Just respect them.
Not only that the forests have regions of trees that communicate with one another...I feel the plants regularly...value wild over domestic by far. And often see their aura.
@Ahhw E-Any when I was 12 or 13 years old, I grew a banana tree and I would talk to it, watering it etc... it gotten so big that alot of people in the village came to see it😃plants do have feelings and I'm sure they have pain as well but it differs from human just like tuna feels no pain for the first 4 hours of being out of the ocean so it's best to cut the tuna after 4 hours 🙃just telling a little true story 👍
Finally... Someone that has articulated quite well what it is like. Thank you. I will often do percentages of how sure I think I am, with the data I have.
@@PSYCH-O I wonder if INFJs experience more stress during childhood and are more prone to having physical and mental breakdowns. Childhood trauma often leads to poor health outcomes later in life.
yeah no i dont think many can handle being in my head. i will admit im older so i have a much more balanced approach on how to deal with the constant thoughts. im known for taking forever to make serious decisions but once i make them, mostly by instinct, people know to get out of my way because i will mow down those standing in my way. but i wont lie i am also extremely isolatory. one big issue i have with others is that im so open minded that people just dont understand how many threads are woven throughout life and its gotten me into trouble cause i cant adequately explain.
i relate to all of these points, but ESPECIALLY the last bit about food because i am a chef and i love cooking lol :D when i make something for myself/ friends/ family, i question every last detail about how it might have been better
The question: Do you think that others could survive a day in an INFJ's head space?🤔 My answer: I can't even survive an hour in my own head without spiraling out of control 🤯!!! I just do it because I don't have anywhere else to go. 😏 I'm forever trapped in this fleshy prison till the day it expires 🤣😭.
This is me too, however I recently watched a really helpful video on INFJ burnout. Why the INFJ runs low on energy. (I was burned out by 40) The explaination was that we can get stuck in ni and ti. This creates a loop. Part of The advice- start using se. I have been intentionally focusing on what I can feel see hear etc. Taking time to focus on it, a few minutes to maybe 15/20. It breaks the spiral and helps me get out of being trapped in myself. I am beginning to be more rested. There is more advice but this is where I am starting. Hope it helps
Exact same thing here. Did a test 15 years or so ago which resulted in discovering being a Myers-Briggs INFJ. Never thought too much of it, used to discovering things for myself anyway. And a bit averse to these sorts of classification systems anyway. Never googled it or mentioned it in any way. Then boom the algorithm figures it out. A bit scary to be honest
@@SSDEdward I now wonder if the other Myer-Briggs types get videos about their type as well? At first I though INFJ would be hardest to figure out for a.i. But maybe it's the easiest because of a consistently weird pattern? I'll have to ponder that for a while... Anyway, while scary, I am intrigued it did and I find the community in the comments very refreshing. It feels like coming home to a place you never imagined existed. Quite exciting actually.
Here’s my question if anyone can answer it. When I stumbled upon the INFJ phenomenon, it blew me away. It seem to understand my most intimate, secrets and behaviors. And all of my strengths and weaknesses. I was really really excited. To develop myself further given, the knowledge and understanding that I discovered. But then a friend confronted me and told me the entire thing is bunk. And then I reached out to a neighbor who is a psychologist, and she, too, said it was bunk. Does anyone have any scientific data or something more to support the Briggs personality type in specifically INFJ reality. So I don’t feel like some idiot following my horoscope? Lol.
There is no proof it works, but if it helps you, I think that is all that really matters. If I had understood MBTI when I was younger, I could've avoided a ton of pain. It explained so many things I didn't understand in my relationships, and the types predicted how people I know behaved, what careers they chose, their values, etc. It is not perfect, but it can help a lot in knowing how to communicate with others.
So 2 people who aren't you and don't understand your experience are trying to bring down something that has brought positivity to you because it doesn't fit their narrow worldview? Do not let them. Also, research cognitive functions. This theory is deeper than you could possibly imagine. Most people who dismiss it aren't remotely aware of how complex it is beyond '16 personalities'.
I agree I have totally contradictory nature. ..hahahaha I am the outcast of society by my own choices , I am not giving the third chances...I feel very deeply other peoples emotions.......making decisions is difficult..........other people could never handle spending 1 hour in my mind not a whole day..as an INFJ...especially practising deep thinking !!!! They would probably lose their minds doing so....as they would realise what really matters in life for INFJ personality types. We are too complex deep thinkers.
Imagine being an INFJ girl growing up in the American South in the 50s. All those restrictions, expectations, you had to be a lady or you could ruin your family. I never understood that lady part. Pleased those days are over.
Torcherous yes i always just thought i was cursed just because im so different and can not be "normal" no matter how hard i try actually if i try it just makes things worse ive found that JESUS CHRIST is my only hope
Hey PSYCH-Os!👋
*So, what would you say is the most challenging aspect of the INFJ reality?*
Comment down below 👇
The most challenging for me is being very sensitive, empathetic, and compassionate, being misunderstood, overlooked, neglected, and looked at as crazy due to my differences. I also find it challenging living in a world designed for extroverts who seems to rule the world for the majority of people. INFJs are born to move the world in ways that other personality types could not.
For me the most challenging aspect of being INFJ is all the self-deceptions I pick up in others. It's easy to deal with a deliberate liar. I simply avoid them. Dealing with someone who is lying to themselves and doesn't even know it is much more difficult. If you are honest you hurt them, but if you aren't, you hurt yourself.
I'd say for me it's 2 things- my intentions are always being misunderstood , and second would be being real in a world full of people who can't be . .
The batteries needed to power it. I tend to get tired from bullshipping.. Thats bull - shit, that you ship out aka Bullship.
Sense disruptions.
The toughest part for me is explaining what's in my head. Sometimes, I'm desperate to be heard because i need help figuring something out, but i just can't seem to get my point across. Most people aren't patient enough to listen to one of my long-winded and convoluted explanations , much less undestand it.
Or you pick up on their nonverbal cues and realize they want to go back to watching TV
Same same same
Oh my goodness, yes. Sometimes I just say that I’m not good at articulating things. Like all these things go through my head all day and when I try to pour them out of my mouth… different story. 😞 I wondered… is it because I think in picture like thought so when it comes to putting words to it I struggle? I relate soooo much with this ❤️
@@jennacuracoaamen there!!!! 😩
Our minds and thoughts are like a spiderweb, the original thought is the center and everything we think of during a conversation relates and most people can’t follow along. I loose most people in conversation 😅
Being an INFJ is a blessing and a curse!
And I would never change being one
Wow!! I needed to hear this because I've really been trying to focus more on the great things about being an INFJ myself instead wishing I could be any other personality but an INFJ.😊
I door slammed the world. I moved to a remote location in the Southern California high desert with my INFP mate. I only leave the property when necessary. I love music. Tolerate TV. I get overwhelmed with the amount of necessary weeding and yard work but love hand watering with a water hose. I keep my life simple and pleasant. I am here and the wicked wicked world is out there.
People have abandoned me because my perspective shifts constantly.
I only come across as cold-hearted because I do NOT want my empathy and compassion to be used against me.
Edit::
Thanks for the likes! Not saying I'm always cold-hearted but once burnt, twice shy, ya know?
Yes, well said!!
🎯💪🏻
I totally resonate with you about that. Well said!!!
It is definitely a cold world out there 😔 there’s still hope though and just acknowledging that you have empathy and compassion is huge, Thankyou for sharing this with us 😌
🙌
I've always felt like there is a language barrier between what I tap into with my thoughts and what can be verbalized, and it doesn't matter which language spoken. I feel like it takes many words to explain. Refering to the great spider web comment: I can go right to the center of that spider web myself but when talking to people, I have to circle around that web to lead them to my center of thought. Its difficult to get people to slow down long enough or care enough to actively listen for 3 mins straight without constant interrupting questions that misdirect or looking at phone or that dumb apple watch which is connected to phone. The whole interaction tends to leave one feeling "why did I even bother?"
Yes! It feels like constant mental pain sometimes tbh. We see every angle of every issue. We see & understand things beyond most other people’s understanding across a really wide range of topics. It is quite exhausting.
The reason beer was invented; forget about all that for a moment and have fun and relax ^^ Well, in theory.. and here we go again, huh?
No kidding I need naps.
It is
...and time-consuming...
No they couldn't, last a minute in our minds for certain
The more I'm learning about INFJ the more certain I am that I am an INFJ. I laughed to myself when you described how infj's have difficulty staying present and focussed on conversations because they are observing so many different details and energies of people. For me the distractions are mostly visual (noticing colour coordinated clothing and decor in a room etc) and observing body language of everyone. Im quite often feeling too overwhelmed by all the incoming information in a room full of people to have a proper conversation with anyone. Also, people tend to describe me as 'a lovely person and very caring' but still I seem to have a hard time deeply connecting with anyone. I worry if I open up I'll burden people and being too open and friendly can put people off. But when people do open up to me, I listen to them for as long as it takes. For me the most challenging thing in a social environment is knowing how much of the real me to show others without coming across as oversharing and vulnerable. Most people like to put across an air of self confidence and often they don't seem authentic or they just feel patronising to me some how. I just cannot be anything but my true self. The only way to get around this is to simply not speak. Just smile and nod in approval if I'm in a group setting, which is genuine, but doesn't give myself away too much. But then paradoxically, sometimes it's all too much to contain myself and I do overshare. Then I feel some shame. I guess I'm a very private person with a strong need for connection. What a dilemma!
I had never imagined someone in this world can have literally the same thoughts as I do! 😅
😞 oh boy I felt as if I was saying all of this myself. Yes yes yes
I never knew any of this until 8 years ago I went to see a therapist. She had me take a personality test because the coping mechanisms she was showing me wasn’t working for me when they work in her other clients. Thats how I found out I was an INFJ. 8 years later it’s only now, through these videos I’m really learning myself. P.S. once she found out my personality type she was able to help me and I improved in my depression and how I viewed life.
@Maribel Colon - can you share a little of what helped you? I'm sure I'm not the only one here who deals with some depression. Thanks.
For me, another INFJ, I’ve realized depression is mearly though patterns causing a depression end result. I would recommend studying dr Joe despenza and his process for reprogramming your brain.
I am happy for you.
@@-beTHEchange-123- yes, i too have listened to Joe Dispenza...thanks for the mention..
Wow! You saw an intelligent therapist, good for you! Here in France psychologiat do not give credit to personnality tests unfortunately. It ia interesting that what works for other didnt work for you hence for infjs... it shows how different we work inside...
People tell me you think too much and you need to Relax, And I'll be here thinking you think too little and you're too relaxed 🤷🤦😁😎💯
Yes! Every single word of it!
"I am a bag of self-contained pain"
It is the worst self-description anyone should have to give
Me as well.
I’m not stuck-up…. I’m an INFJ 😎❤️
❤❤👌
That's for the non INFJ to judge...😅
INFJ’s aren’t, though. While they may judge others’ decisions, this scrupulousness applies to themselves, as well, and they seldom despise others enough to even reject anyone.
Being understood ... I've always said: I am the square peg in the round hole..
Don't think that any of the other INFJ videos out there elaborate as deep as this one here about the dark sides and in terms of uncovering the unique challenges this personality type has. Brilliant.
To me the hardest part is feeling deeply with the person / people that you truly care about it makes me feel overwhelmed or sad sometimes
Just discovered I was an INFJ last year.
I still can not quite understand how things that took me 40+ years to figure out about myself are on a few of the better RUclips videos, almost word for word.
My existence and experience, my alienation, my loneliness, my pain, my inexorable compulsion to do what's right when my brain screams no as it is against my material or physical best interests. We have less free will than I had spent my life thinking we had, and most shockingly of all, I AM NOT BROKEN in some deep way I could never explain before.
God, The Matrix, or the universe, something has a twisted sense of humor; you pick. This is well beyond coincidence.
I am 10 different kinds of stubborn and rational about all things so no tin foil hat or reading myself into a situation; in broad strokes this is me. That is both amazing to see and hear, also slightly terrifying as to the possible meanings.
Thank you for this video.
The perfect relationship..........two INFJ's, together. It works, we are like a mirror to each other and easily make positive changes. We don't need others anymore, as we are best friends too. Whether it is business or just having fun, we are always on the same page. It probably helps that we are both Scorpio also. A power couple, without all that indecisive stuff. Neither takes stage with the other and we are compassionate to the bone. I hope this will encourage others.
Yup spot on, we made an entire video on the INFJ-INFJ relationship! ruclips.net/video/HsmSyOY3RPE/видео.html
I found this out too late. Now that we have eeg cloning you have to share your wife with people who "monitor" (corrupt, manipulate, control, gaslight, coerce, brainwash, program) all in ways that make someone appear like someone there not. EEG cloning/heterodyning is the worst thing in history so is astral projecting, remote viewing/perception/influencing anything that accesses someone else's mind is rape much more penetrating than the regular definition. How people could do this is beyond anything I could visualize myself doing to anyone. Sorry for the rant but knowing there is someone compatible out there and it never being an option, even in my mind is just the last heartbreak I would never had expected
I am Scorpio and I believe INFJ, and feel they are both very much alike... I wish that kind of relationship so badly. I don't know what my husband is, and it is hard, hate feeling like a bad guy all the time but can't shut up.
@@somethingbambi875 Your partner, definitely not a Scorpio. Since you are Scorpio, you will go far in this life. Your goals are long term and futuristic but it will be difficult to accept anyone in your life that is not on that page with you. When you are young you can do anything....................but ultimately you will need someone like you, who respects you and innerstands you. As a Scorpio there will be many hardships and surprises, not of your doing, that you will have to deal with. Remember that you are of the warrior class and put away ideas of being passive to get along. Do not be afraid of anything. Learn everything and you just might survive being a Scorpio, most do not. I am loving all that is and all that is not. This means that I am loving you, also.
INFJ woman married to an INFJ man - yes he's my best friend, we both have the same outlook on life, we both think outside the box, life can be great fun together etc but some of the difficulties mentioned here, especially the indecision and thinking about countless possibilities and anxiety about the future can be a nightmare to the other partner. It's one thing trying to choose a menu item, another when choosing a job or other major life decision. As a fellow INFJ I understand this and so we analyse all the scenarios and possibilities, finally reach a decision...And then it changes again and so on and so forth
Took forever to figure out why I was always called "Odd"..now I understand.
I am an INFJ
I really care about people but could not care less about whether or I fit in
I have had people say to me “ what is it about you? Whenever we get together we solve the problems of the universe?”
I also write humor.
In talking to people I will share how high my standards are but have to explain that it is ok to not meet this standard. This can be really confusing to people
I don’t know if others could handle it. Despite the drawbacks though, I LOVE being an INFJ
It's rough. It's not for everyone 😬
Any other INFJs in the comments INSANELY protective?
FML, yes. I'm freakishly protective, & think nothing of the consequences to myself.
I find that a lot of people like me from the start, but in the long haul a lot of people think im a tad bit weird. I have a very small circle of friends & that is exactly what i want..(I cut a ton of people from my life including the ex! ..& much happier for it!)
Sharing this with my INFJ son, I can really see these struggles clearly. What a wonderful man he is (INFP mother)
I’ve always felt that I’m grateful it is me that has these challenges instead of my sister or brother. I would not want them to feel the lonesomeness or lack of understanding that I feel so often.
I would offer that the INFJ is neither hypocritical nor contradictory...they just 'draw the line' in a place that others would consider unusual for themselves. There's a time for everything, and that 'time' has to feel appropriate for them. 'Red Flags' do not equal 'appropriate time'. They'll also wait and see if others will be aware enough to know where to 'draw the line' - and if they muff it, 'So long, sucker!'
WOW!!!!! This is so TRUE!!!!!!!!!! I am a walking contradiction.
All true
Especially hard to stay in the present and a little detail in a conversation will take me soaring to another place and time.
It like i am walking to do something..
Then there goes my thoughts someplace else...then when I come back to the present..I forget monetarily what I was going do.
Ugh!!!
The struggle is real 😅
We start out thinking when young that others are just like us. As we age we discover no one Gets Us! We realize they cannot be the same at all. We much later realize what others think as odd birds or gifts - or unicorn magic we feel as a curse much of the time. We grow into it slow. With reticence!
And many go HERMIT MODE late in life to avoid. Just worn out - exhausted.
No matter what you try it IS WHAT IT IS! REST and peace is so very Appreciated!
We still do other spiritual deep things more are not aware of unless an INFJ.
No one would believe it anyway. Or be angry if they knew.
Yes, we are gun shy.
Yep, very true statements.
The only ones I can think of that might be able to withstand being an INFJ might be INTJs. They are similar enough to us and know what it is like having Ni as their dominant funtuon.
All of this is so accurate! No one liked to go shopping (because of poor decision making skills) or eat at a restaurant with me (because of the menu thing), so to enjoy these excursions and the person's company better in these situations, I will not really shop when I am with someone except for one or two items that I know I need or want, decided beforehand, and we will determine where to eat beforehand and then I look at the menu online before we get there. That has helped a lot.
The daily question I hate the most. “What do you want to do for dinner ?” I dont care…. Lol
Ugh, right?! Lol
I don't know anyone who could handle a day in my head. I can't even handle being in my head. I'm stuck in it, though, so I'll keep trying to gain some control over it's wild ways.
Same.
I'm with ya
No Way! I have often said my life would crush a 1000 strong men.
I don’t know what I am. I always feel like nah It's not what I meant, It's not what I want, It's not what I want to do. I am never satisfied by me. And always afraid to face extroverts, narcissists, alfas even super empaths. Where my life is full of These complicated personalities. I feel challenging to face them. They are not bad. They just what they are. Sometimes being with them drains my Energy and some other day I feel grateful to have them in my life. Cause I feel like they are great cause they know what they are and have a nice control over what they should do and what they shouldn't. I Don't know how to have control over my emotions. Sometimes I just sit in my room and cry saying I hate my self. The moment I feel useless, lonely the very next moment I feel proud of me all of a sudden. I am full of mixed emotions. Idk what is happening. I feel like someone is just controlling all my emotions. I Don't share my this side to anyone. I find it hard to explain them. So I just stay quite. I Don't do things bc I don’t want. I juat can't. Like someone is controlling it. I feel so good when I can say what is exactly in my mind. But it hardly happens
Fellow team members and I took a work shop at a college in MI back when I was working in the corp. world. I had no idea about these personally types…I was surprised to find out this is what I was/am. I remember having difficulty with the questions that were asked on the initial assessment. The responses were multiple choice and I can remember the strain it was to choose just one response. The rest of the team were all various types of extroverts…which didn’t surprise me at all. I was surprised at what an introvert really was as I would have never thought of myself that way as I used to get up in front of people to do training, give presentations, participate in endless meetings and manage people in geography dispersed areas. I did the work, but hated it, and longed to be back in my cubicle working on a spreadsheet or problem solving. Living in my head…yeah, over thinking …yeah, giving too many chances…yeah….etc. I’m retired now, and without work to keep my mind occupied for a while, the overthinking can get out of hand at times. RUclips is one of my diversions these days.
Gardening is my therapy!
yeah it is good tokeep yoir mind bizzy 😊 2:56
Overthinking can get out of hand.
All these 10 are on spot. Most times they pass from being a challenge to be a nightmare.
On the bright side, many of the 'older' INFJ viewers claim it all gets better with age 😅
#7 Decision making made me laugh.. That is me to a "T"! Here is my most extreme example: When I moved into my house, I did not like the doorknobs so when the doors were painted I had all the knobs removed. It took me 4yrs to choose new ones...so for four yrs all the indoor doors had holes and no knobs. Fortunately, I was forced to choose because I had to get s few new interior/exterior doors that needed knobs. On the other hand when I know what I want l am quick: I put a bid in for both my houses the as soon as I saw them and both times I did get the house. I guess these extremes show our contradictions. It is not easy being an INFJ for so many reasons. These videos help.
We are completely comfortable with respectful disagreement. No doubt, we’ve probably already processed our position. When added to the empathetic information being read in the moment,….our deep responses catch most off guard.
this, absolutly this, the elemant of surprise when they taught you were mad or dissapointed, but being dissapointed is our default state :D
I don't get into labels but infj experiences, difficulties faced as well as interactions with others and how I feel really resonates with me even though I have no intention of labeling myself as one although, It's sooo true.....to feel like a walking contradiction it's challenging & difficult....ppl confuse it with bipolar 🤦♀️ in truth feeling deeply can be extremely frustrating sometimes. It makes it easier to isolate sometimes! Try explaining to a person how you both love & hate them for the same thing! Yeah that'll go over well!
It is astounding how accurate you describe these traits into almost the detail about my how my brain works! I am truly amazed! 😲🙏
1:08 People are not unidimensional. I don’t know about others, but I despise boxes. I am watching this for the sole purpose of understanding (painful as it is) what is others’ views about those whom they labelled INFJ.
Welcome to my world. 😆 I honestly don't know how folks would be like if they had my default processing and viewing of reality. I have yet to see someone similar.
I think most other types would really be unable to deal with the inner world stuff.
No. I don't know anyone who could handle being inside my brain. The only reason I don't lose it completely is the understanding I'm built this way. Built to handle it. Mostly. 😆
I understand.
So accurate! Only a real INFJ can feel this and understand what each thing means.. great video❤
Super lone she wolf 🐺. Conformity sounds worse, than COVID. Boundaries protect my identity
I both hare and love these videos. Love them because it genuinely feels like someone understands me and what I go through every day. Hate them because it makes me literally cry that a person whom I will in all likelihood never meet, narrating a video, understands me better than pretty much everyone around me ever will.
Oh My! Thank you for explaining me! The restaurant thing is So real. And staying in the moment with strangers.....unless I'm needed by the stranger👍 at 60 I'm just learning why my husband thinks I'm crazy🙂 - finally something I can work with, lol
The INFJ's dummy look mix with the INFJ's chatter! Is the most challenging and aspect of this classic infj type reality
Finallly! Some one gets what us INFJs have to deal with
As an INFJ, while pondering upon this video, i got 2 thoughts.
Outside looking in, I'm a psycho.
Inside looking out, gosh, all that is normal everyday life for me, what is wrong with people nowadays 😂😂😂😂
WHAT? Whether plants do have feelings is NOT AN IMPORTANT QUESTION?
I am an INFJ, and let me tell you: They totally do.
🤣
Should we not eat them?
@@anandaalvarez4336 Well, we must eat something until we eventually get good enough in Yoga to stop eating at all. Although there are of course fruitarians, who only eat what plants freely offer us to eat (yes, totally a thing), that diet may not be very healthy. So yes, we should eat them. But they have feelings nevertheless. Just respect them.
Exactly my thoughts 😂
Not only that the forests have regions of trees that communicate with one another...I feel the plants regularly...value wild over domestic by far. And often see their aura.
😂the decision on what to eat or something else cracks me up 😅i am not an infj but i do this all the time with food and or shopping for clothing 😂
@Ahhw E-Any when I was 12 or 13 years old, I grew a banana tree and I would talk to it, watering it etc... it gotten so big that alot of people in the village came to see it😃plants do have feelings and I'm sure they have pain as well but it differs from human just like tuna feels no pain for the first 4 hours of being out of the ocean so it's best to cut the tuna after 4 hours 🙃just telling a little true story 👍
@@ahhwe-any7434 😊
Finally... Someone that has articulated quite well what it is like. Thank you.
I will often do percentages of how sure I think I am, with the data I have.
Omg me too!
No, it would overwhelm them.
Amazing how accurate this is
Want to grab a coffee? 😊
so accurate, everything! 😄
So accurate the food, man it's a struggle to pick from the menu and wonder if I'll regret it and wish I would have got something else.😂
Im ENTP, im ready, bring it on😂😂😂
😂 the menu thing. I've chosen to only read as far as something I like and then order that. And maybe change my order to what someone else orders. 😂
"Yeah, tell me about it."
This video made me laugh. Especially when i order food so true and creepy you know how the INFJ thinks.
Could you do a video on potential health issues that the infj could be more prone to developing based on their personalities? Great video as usual.
Depression anxiety from loneliness
Great idea - thank you! Look out for a video on this topic in the future 😊
@@hugmc as well as stress related autoimmune issues, and chronic pain…speaking from my experience alone
@@PSYCH-O I wonder if INFJs experience more stress during childhood and are more prone to having physical and mental breakdowns. Childhood trauma often leads to poor health outcomes later in life.
@@annvickers4417 same
yeah no i dont think many can handle being in my head. i will admit im older so i have a much more balanced approach on how to deal with the constant thoughts. im known for taking forever to make serious decisions but once i make them, mostly by instinct, people know to get out of my way because i will mow down those standing in my way. but i wont lie i am also extremely isolatory. one big issue i have with others is that im so open minded that people just dont understand how many threads are woven throughout life and its gotten me into trouble cause i cant adequately explain.
Wow! The comments section is as resourceful as the video ❤😊
This nailed it right on the head! Thank you for helping me understand myself.❤
To have to use a crayon and eraser board and talk slow is hard!!😂 To handle you have to comprehend. 😂
Not me being an INFJ swallowing my antidepressants while watching this video.
Spot.Freaking.On.!
Lord help us
Often thought this myself. It can be hell at times.
Thankful for understanding that being fake is hard to keep up with. The mask will slide off. 80/20❤😂🎉
i relate to all of these points, but ESPECIALLY the last bit about food because i am a chef and i love cooking lol :D when i make something for myself/ friends/ family, i question every last detail about how it might have been better
The question: Do you think that others could survive a day in an INFJ's head space?🤔
My answer: I can't even survive an hour in my own head without spiraling out of control 🤯!!! I just do it because I don't have anywhere else to go.
😏 I'm forever trapped in this fleshy prison till the day it expires 🤣😭.
Haha touché my friend 😂
This is me too, however I recently watched a really helpful video on INFJ burnout. Why the INFJ runs low on energy. (I was burned out by 40) The explaination was that we can get stuck in ni and ti. This creates a loop. Part of The advice- start using se. I have been intentionally focusing on what I can feel see hear etc. Taking time to focus on it, a few minutes to maybe 15/20. It breaks the spiral and helps me get out of being trapped in myself. I am beginning to be more rested. There is more advice but this is where I am starting. Hope it helps
🙌♥️
I hear you! Every day is a minefield...( Some better than others)
@@deborahbeattie9103 thank you ❤
Sounds like me. Laughing because Im at that place wondering rather technology is good for humans or bad Like you Mentioned lol. I enjoy reflecting
So weird this popped up on my youtube recommended feed and i have not googled it or searched it in any way lol AI can read minds now 😛
Exact same thing here. Did a test 15 years or so ago which resulted in discovering being a Myers-Briggs INFJ. Never thought too much of it, used to discovering things for myself anyway. And a bit averse to these sorts of classification systems anyway. Never googled it or mentioned it in any way. Then boom the algorithm figures it out. A bit scary to be honest
@Bro Yout same here lol it's pretty weird if the AI was able to dig that deep and far back... kinda scary 😳
@@SSDEdward I now wonder if the other Myer-Briggs types get videos about their type as well?
At first I though INFJ would be hardest to figure out for a.i. But maybe it's the easiest because of a consistently weird pattern? I'll have to ponder that for a while...
Anyway, while scary, I am intrigued it did and I find the community in the comments very refreshing. It feels like coming home to a place you never imagined existed. Quite exciting actually.
Yup, that's me!
Here’s my question if anyone can answer it. When I stumbled upon the INFJ phenomenon, it blew me away. It seem to understand my most intimate, secrets and behaviors. And all of my strengths and weaknesses. I was really really excited. To develop myself further given, the knowledge and understanding that I discovered. But then a friend confronted me and told me the entire thing is bunk. And then I reached out to a neighbor who is a psychologist, and she, too, said it was bunk. Does anyone have any scientific data or something more to support the Briggs personality type in specifically INFJ reality. So I don’t feel like some idiot following my horoscope? Lol.
This does not answer your question but nothing else has described me so accurately
There is no proof it works, but if it helps you, I think that is all that really matters. If I had understood MBTI when I was younger, I could've avoided a ton of pain. It explained so many things I didn't understand in my relationships, and the types predicted how people I know behaved, what careers they chose, their values, etc. It is not perfect, but it can help a lot in knowing how to communicate with others.
"The felt presence of immediate experience - this is all you know. Everything else comes as unconfirmed rumor." ~ Terence McKenna
So 2 people who aren't you and don't understand your experience are trying to bring down something that has brought positivity to you because it doesn't fit their narrow worldview? Do not let them. Also, research cognitive functions. This theory is deeper than you could possibly imagine. Most people who dismiss it aren't remotely aware of how complex it is beyond '16 personalities'.
It's a good way to be on the outside looking in.
Number 2: ouch!
I have a hard time being around ME
I thought everyone did that when looking at a restaurant menu 😅
No, I think they would go insane. But I also think if I was put in another personality type I go mad too.
Perfectly accurate.
Thanks!
Thank you so much! 🙌
No way, in hell!! 🤭🤭
NUMBER SEVEN! YES! I mean no, I'm not really sure...
I would not like to expend the energy to answer your last question.
😂
I agree I have totally contradictory nature. ..hahahaha I am the outcast of society by my own choices , I am not giving the third chances...I feel very deeply other peoples emotions.......making decisions is difficult..........other people could never handle spending 1 hour in my mind not a whole day..as an INFJ...especially practising deep thinking !!!! They would probably lose their minds doing so....as they would realise what really matters in life for INFJ personality types. We are too complex deep thinkers.
Imagine being an INFJ girl growing up in the American South in the 50s. All those restrictions, expectations, you had to be a lady or you could ruin your family. I never understood that lady part. Pleased those days are over.
I have a question ❓ what does it mean when you can't feel love or pretty much any other emotion
It can mean a lot of things. Would start talking to your general practitioner about it. They should be able to give you some good referrals.
Torcherous yes i always just thought i was cursed just because im so different and can not be "normal" no matter how hard i try actually if i try it just makes things worse ive found that JESUS CHRIST is my only hope
😂 it happens but with time and practice that too passes
Small talk is the sheild of the normie.
No wonder i became addicted to opiates. To escape the mental monkey bars we go through. Clean and sober now!
Or even if it is a floating rock 🤣
No: no one is able too handle my thoughts and ambitions! 24 7 365! Well maybe Mama Cass if she was still here😊
late poster here, but... not everyone agonizes so much about meal planning? 😟
What's a INFJ