5 MAIN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE INFJ'S REALITY & EVERYBODY ELSE’S
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're breaking down five mind-blowing differences between your reality and everyone else's. As an INFJ, you've probably felt like a square peg in a round hole your whole life. But let me tell you, it's not just in your head - your perspective is truly unique. We'll dive into what makes INFJs so damn special, explain it to the "normies" out there, and figure out how we can use our superpowers to live our best lives. So, are you gonna mope and accept that nobody gets you, or are you ready to channel your uniqueness into greatness? Let's go!
#4 got lost - again - sorry guys: #4 continuous analysis of power dynamics - the INFJ is constantly aware and adapting to any power dynamics in a given relationship
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What are some of the biggest differences between INFJs and other types from your point of view?
I know people may judge, mock or laugh at me, but I’m going to do it anyway if it’s important to me regardless of what anyone else says or thinks! That is a gift!💕
Im the chosen to lead the rest of the family, everybody else just sits there but the up side is they do what i tell them to do for the benifit of the family. If i wasnt next in line for this "fortune" i wuoldnt be the boss now, A job I do not want, I was hppt smoking weed, and watching youtibe.
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The biggest one for me is our ego detached nature. Most people are totally unable to zealize how many of the things that we do are actually not for us, how invested we are in giving example, in teaching the next generations, but most of all how objective we are, because we are looking for truths that suits all the people, not just us, in other words universal truths. And we often go overboard in this by forgetting how we should me selfish in a healthy way.
#4 got lost LOL. Was there (only) in our head.... I've always wondered what the real difference is compared to other people, because that was never really clear to me. This REALLY helps. ♥
Your work is so, so important, Wenzes! I hope a lot of young people find your content. I only learned of INFJ recently, being already 54. I realized, I had lived all my life against my nature, thinking something was wrong with me, like I was constantly told by others. Forced into a socially accepted lifestyle the outcome is some serious health issues, among other things 2 autoimmune diseases. Maybe this wouldn´t have happened if I had learned about my nature earlier and build a fitting life for me. I´m physically limited, but mentally I will use your deep understanding and knowledge to make my future better than my past. 💚 Thanks!!!
OMG I feel you! I am 56 and things in my life came to a head and bottomed out when I was 51. That is when I realized that the life I was living was not working for me anymoe but was killing me. I made a great salary and had a great resume. Wife and family and house. But the mindset I had of conformity to the "way things work" had caused me to compensate for my misery by some very unhealthy behaviors that led to bad health outcomes. So I think I understand what you wrote. I chose to change and to start listening to myself and to helpful people here on the internet that gave me better advice on eating and sleeping and exercise. And about a year ago I discovered Wenzes and she has helped me take the information I already had about INFJ and start to actually apply it to change my mental game. It all is related. Physical, mental, spiritual. And you are right, I wish I had known or taken more seriously in my case (because I did know for a few years) what being INFJ is all about and how we have to take responsibility for making the best life for ourselves because it won't be the life that so many of the people around us are striving for.
I’m 60, and while I only recently learned that I’m an INFJ, I’ve felt comfortable with my being “different”, since I was a teen. I do believe the major effort involved in remaining true to myself, in every aspect of life, has cost me similar health issues. I have some autoimmune issues, as well. While they are minor, at this point, I still acknowledge the impacts, and am learning how to better care for myself. I wish you the best. We already know, the world isn’t a friendly place, to people like us. We’re old enough, to have gone through a lot of things, and are in position to get great at living our best lives.
Im 33 and i have an auto immune disease too...ive been through so much stress and sorrow. I am more at peace now but the pain never leaves my body. I move like an old lady
I'm 38 and only learnt I was an INFJ about a year ago. I developed an eye disease close to a decade ago and I wonder if stress throughout life set off a gene to make that eye disease present itself. I'm okay most days, but in the winter time when the temperature and barometric pressure is constantly changing, the pain in my eye makes me feel like I'm 80.
Can relate a lot, I leaned I was an INFJ and what it meant around age 50. Wish I’d known when young, could have made many better decisions. It’s even less me to start writing a book about the INFJ and life and wider political situation etc. I mention INFJ and MBTI in many YT videos, to help other infjs discover what they need to know. Good luck.
we see beauty, they can only sell us their dull world view and we go along to fit in and ruin ourselves and become depressed
I don't think this has anything to do with being a cognitive INFJ. INFJs are primarily abstract rationalists that could be perceived as dull or too away with the fairies by some other cognitive types (not that this is my view). In saying that, Wenzes isn't a cognitive INFJ
Hierarchy in an organisation is exactly just a game. Naracists love hierarchical structures as its makes them feel so important. We need to be content in who we are. Our value as a person is not based on where we are in any organisation. Thanks for this video.
Funny you mention that. It helps me see somebody I once knew in a very different light. He was always looking at org charts. I almost never did. Probably why he still thrives in the corporate world and I am out of it!
Corporate world is for shallow dumbos and exploitative narcs. Sad. Stay sigma.
#5 I always thought that I was inauthentic because I could join vastly different group of friends. Thank you this is very affirming
I was in every social group of secondary school. I could even claim to be part of the teachers lol. I could relate to everyone in some way but I never felt like I belonged.
This is why I never fit in corporate world I hate working for someone else especially the narcissistic control freak people
I'm not supposed to be normal. And i live in my own world. That's ok, they know me there.
Wenzes, spot on👍
Excellent video Wenzes! The hierarchy one freaks people out. They can't understand how we don't care about someone's title or rank, and most folks think we're being narcissistic and thinking we're better than others, when in reality, that's not it at all. Like you said, they're just another player in the game that's NOT us, and doesn't affect us, or us reaching our end goal. Therefore, our minds naturally shift them into the "inconsequential" category, because they are not going to be of help to/for us.
I hope you're having a great weekend my friend! 🙂🌹❤
I job-hopped for over 15 years. I’m guessing I’m not the only I N FJ who did this. Still trying to get a Second Chapter work in place where I can work independently again.
Makes for a variety of experiences and skills adaptable to a lot of unusual situations, though. 😅
@cc 1k haha so true 👍 😆
😅
I job hopped a lot in my career. But it led to my burnout more than helping me. I think I job hopped because I didn't really know myself and I would either become bored or think I was going to advance my career by jumping to another place. It did bump up my salary each time but it takes a lot of time and energy to start over each time and ultimately find out that the issues that triggered me were found in each place I went, Its like the old saying"Wherever you go...there you are!" Since the real issue was me and my thoughts and relationships to other people and not the work I was doing, no matter where I went I ran into the same problems. But had less internal fortitude and tolerance with each new job. I have children and would now only recommend they job hop if there is a real strategy behind it to get new training or to really move up in their career. Lateral moves like I mostly made were something I now consider a mistake.
This is much more applicable to cognitive ISFPs as they seek to align and harmonise their Te with their Fi. In saying that, Wenzes is also a cognitive ISFP, another amazing cognitive type. INFJs can actually far very well in an organisation as-long as there's a niche for their abstract theoretical nature.
I like how I can listen to a video and not have to adjust my mindset in any way to fully understand. :)
I love observing different cultural views and how narrow some peoples POV really are. "That's not how things really are." 3:52
So, I made a living as an observer for the Alberta Forest Service. Isolation on a mountain. Babysitting the forest, watching for smoke. An INFJ frontiersman. Today I'm a retired boomer living downtown. But I'm still an observer. The neighbors love me. I'm kidding. I put mylar on my balcony windows. Now I have a two-way mirror. And the garden on my balcony is a traffic-stopper. I'm the Gandalf of the neighborhood. I love being an INFJ. Stay safe. ♥
Hierarchy is how I honestly just use to make others question reality, esp in an environment that's not reflective of that very reality
This videos just made me realize how ruthless an INFJ can be😅
💜hierarchy. This made me smile. I would roll my eyes when the boss brought this to my attention. Haha.
I really do feel they are not so important and I never think to do things to make them like me.
Just different from the “norm”.
The thing that I struggled with way back then is I didn’t know thyself so I didn’t understand at the time why the boss was so much on my back.
Bosses like to be in control and I was just being me.
I’m a good worker intellectually independent and that didn’t sit right with the boss.
I know now the boss needed me not to be so independent.
Much gratitude 💜
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Im just happy my boss lets me do my work without questions asked...thats why finally i have the same job for 4years 😂😂😂
As I listened to this, it was like reliving my growing up experience and how it worked out in my adult life as well. You brought it to a perfect finish when you mentioned that INFJs are very independent. Some guys that I dated even told me that directly.
I had to smile at the statement that social norms are only a suggestion for INFJs, and that understanding the rules is a skill and it's not "who we are." This fits in perfectly when you then told us that INFJs have no respect for "proclaimed" authority. And all five of these were summed up in our independence.
In my experience, I found myself to be law-abiding and I do show respect for people at work who are in charge. In the school system this is important. With very few exceptions, I've gotten along well with the principals and assistant principals, and I do my best to follow how the school is organized. But, as you said, it's a skill and I always practice it in a way to keep my self- respect. It could be called "being law abiding, but not culture abiding." 🙂
Having said that, my independence shows when I make my own personal decisions, even when following the rules of the school where I'm at. I still needed to do it my own way and not a pre-thought-out arbitrary method that often didn't fit me. IOW, doing things my way because that's what I was given to work with. Even as an elementary school student, I wouldn't let the self-proclaimed "Queen Bee" dictate how to talk, act, or wear. (I knew that we were peers.) It made for some tense moments, but looking back, I'm glad I didn't cave in.
Super video.
I don't think I am independent. I am a certified MBTI INFJ type, who lives at home and suffers from Codependency issues.
Where were you all my life?🌷🌷🌷
Being an observer: I can be extroverted when the mood strikes me, but because I'm so different, I will get negative vibes from some people, their attitude will make me angry. Instead, I become introverted and observe. From my childhood, I could read people and I'm very good at it. If I think that the person(s) I'm watching are okay and I'm in a good mood, then I'll open up and socialize. 😊
I’m quite thankful for the wisdom learned. I don’t feel as alone and have come to embrace my differences.
I’m also dyslexic with OCD (cleaning and straightening) so I don’t always feel like I belong. Learning I have this personality type and understanding that I’m not ‘in control’ of some behavioral preferences has been liberating.
“I am NOT a game player.”, has been a constant saying, throughout my life.
Number 3 was really accentuated for me when I was in the Army. The military is ALL about hierarchy! I played the game.
and what happened... ?
@@matilda4406 Nothing really. I did my time and got an honorable discharge. I’m just saying that I had to get used to other personality types having so much respect for authoritative hierarchy. I just pretended to. In retrospect an INFJ in the military is like a fish out of water.
@@davidrider3765 lol.. absolutely ! That's what I thought. The military is bizarrely not human. What the heck !
@David Rider Always have to find my way of dealing with hierarchy. Have to maybe not be in an organization where everyone is expected to literally fall in line, first of all. Not sure I would have flourished there. 😂
@@davidrider3765 Amen. the programming just doesn't work on the INFJ personality
I have to stop listening sometimes because I can't process so much that rings true
You summed it up really well that expressing ideas and thoughts outside the mainstream may be difficult for the INFJ personality type but it might be impossible for others. I hadn't really thought about it potentially being an impossibility for others .
I was an engineer in high tech and treating my manager as a person that I had to manage verses following their lead. This was painful for most around me especially since I came up with most of the best ideas and they would have to go along with these ideas.
#3 - Here is the core of who we are.
In my work as a Clinical Therapist and Social Worker, I can honestly say that INFJ’s rarely ever become Narcissistic-Hedonistic-Nihilistic! Usually, kind, Justice oriented, accepting and tolerant - sometimes to our detriment!
Thank you for clearing up just what it means to be an INFJ. You have helped me so much. Ive know for along time my personality was different and independent. I started saying at 2 years old "I can do it myself". Truth is very important for every aspect of my world. I love your on-going advice and insights to the INFJ's. Thank yo again.
I think 'feeling different' is much more applicable to Fi doms and in Wenzes case, ISFP. Authenticity and individualism isn't necessarily the realm of the cognitive INFJ, they are primarily abstract rationalists. ISFP are of course another wonderful cognitive type so this isn't a dig at Wenzes albeit she is conflating behaviour with cognition
Wow. Spot on. You have nailed it, Wenzes ! This is 100% the INFJ expereince.... nice ot feel understood !
Respectfully, and Wenzes herself is one, this is the ISFPs experience albeit there's more to one's personality than their innate cognitive predispositions. Cognitive INFJs are primarily abstract rationalists who spend much of their time reformulating their abstract theoretical frameworks internally which I never see mentioned in Wenzes videos. Wenzes is indeed abstract due to her Fi-Ni albeit this is of a limbic nature not theoretical. It's one reason why I don't typically get a response on here as I'm coming from a Ti-Ni position and, in contrast, ISFPs cognitively process information very differently to myself. Of course neither process is better but if people wish to ascertain their true type, it is necessary to separate cognition from behaviour
So much here is right on target. You have just effectively described for others all they really need to know about why I operate this way. :)
Bull's Eye Again👌👌👌
Wow 💘 Never have I felt so comfortable listening to someone speak. If only there were more women like you.
OMG, you are the best. That is so true about bosses. I do not play into making people feel bigger than who they are.
Keep doing videos they really help the minority of personality types. I wish I would have had this type of coaching in my teen years.
Damn love this channel…finally
I get my ass chewed every day I can take it I understand that people have pain and I can get out
The world is full of proclaimed fools and idiots that so many look up to and respect.
Made me smile, thanks! And sadly so true
Yes but this has little to do with cognitive type; it's much more a marker of maturity.
@@Tified967 true, however, I would say sensors tend to follow without considering values, or don't have the power to "not follow" and stand for themselves, instead look up to others, sadly.
As us usual, your presentation is uncannily insightful and accurate. Thank you!
You had me smiling and nodding throughout this! ❤
Nailed it! 😊
I’m going crazy trying to figure out what I am
You are just spectacularly brilliant.
You are one of the infj channels that talks well and with conviction and emotion that is one of the things that makes me subscribe to you
Soooo helpful! Thank you ❤
Number 3 is hilarious because I just learned this about myself recently 😂
A lot of times I am the life coach of people around me. But personally, I also need one for myself. Thank you Wenzes for these videos, I'm learning more about myself and these are no BS at all but very helpful and insightful.
Danke!
I just have a kitty....lol. No people and no need to explain!
I sought out the downfall of my ego. Some of it was thrown at me, but I welcomed the pressure.
This is so relatable. I feel so seen and feel like less of a crazy, horrible person, hahaha.
Thank you for this video, it was very helpful to me.
I love all of your videos ❤
Thank you Wenzes ❤
OMG…this is the second video of yours that I’m watching and I am just shook at how well…we’ll we’ll you know me! Wtf! I ALWAYS feel like no one understands me, why I do things the way I do, even close friends. Shocked but it’s also so nice! I am a fan!
Thanks!
Thank you.
Lmho! #2 is Soooo true! #5, Im often getting chided for going to a restaurant or a movie by myself… I really enjoy my company lol.
Of all the times that I was misunderstood, this is one of the few times that I feel seen omfg
The chocolate woman knows everything.🧚♂️
yes
Super Thanks
Yeah well they call us Paranoid ! 😊 1:07
Hey, I really like your videos and how they bring light to many different areas of my life and help me to understand myself better. I know this is a new video, but when you have time can you edit it or explain #4 more. I would appreciate the clarity of understanding that facet better. Thanks : )
Hi @Wenzes , please prepare a video about how 2 INFJs get along together :) How an INFJ could recognize another as a interlocutor?
If we ever wanted to 🤭
love
Most people are obsessed with celebrities and "their modern views on reality" or with politics while we don't actually care about them I've learned to let go of the fear of abandonment
I'd negate that 'most' people are obsessed; that's contingent upon whom you surround yourself with, respectfully. This also has little to do with cognition and could be applicable to any cognitive type.
@@Tified967 you also got a point here for INFJs it's a bit different it was my own life experience street smarts if you wish to call it
thanks
Wenze's I love you❤❤❤informative intriguing understanding me.Jerome
I know that I have my own history for helping people so much that I have been broken couple years and same time studied for my dream. Even when my life has improved my head is still so messy. I also feel and think things so much in my head. I have thought to stop it but if I would do that I would not understand my feelings anymore. That would make me angry, impulsive, unthoughtfull and even feel hate more. For me most important thing is to be human being. When I think deep where my feelings came from I can find my love and understanding but it also affect my reality because most of feelings of hate and breakdowns have deep connection with your others strong feelings that are deep in you. Unfortunately your Brain can’t take too much controversial thinking or painful things.
What is most sad about mine brain is that I want to appreciate things around me, but I have in my past also wanted to do that even when I have been broken so my mind feels pain often when I enjoy life or I am excited or I remind myself life is beauty. My mind can’t take it and that’s why I feel often like my mind shuts off or it is really hard to be conscious and I feel like reality is slipping through my fingers and that feels really odd. I love my life, but I don’t know how can I make every part of myself believe it.
I feel really much love and beauty of life which makes sometimes in same time even feel that my younger or part of me beggs me to stop it and I can even sometimes see me or my younger self crying her eyes out and that feeling makes me feel her or mine pain. I can’t believe that I am really happy and next second feel sad, miserable and excited and happy same time.
Do anyone know how to only feel same than your this time you without your past feelings posessing you?
We are black sheep, we don’t follow anyone :D
💯
Well, first off... Will you marry me? ;) I've listened to you many times and it seems like you're reading me like a book. I didn't think anyone could do that. Gosh, your perspective is amazing! Namaste my dear
Coach, I think podcasting suits u.
Exactly why I left my husband I dont do submission
I think we are so much more broad minded. We entertain so many of the possibilities. There’s no right way to do things. We may do it one way one day and different the next. And it’s this ambiguity that really annoys people. Is this just me or is this infj ?
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Does this channel ship to Canada?
I just don't understand why these traits have to be specific to INFJs? Any mature intelligent person would possess these traits, especially any intuitives
Wenzes is actually a cognitive ISFP who are a wonderful cognitive type. I completely agree, this is more applicable to facets superfluous to type. INFJs are primarily abstract rationalists & spend much of their time reformulating their theoretical abstractions which Wenzes fails to mention. I think there's a danger to compartmentalising sensors & intuitives however; we all sense & we all intuit it's just contingent upon the codec it's attached to.
Please message me when you’re having a weekend I can learn I don’t care about money
Our rality is more real. kappa
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Also more than half of the typology community/wider society are observer types & we all observe to some degree. There's a tendency to put the BEHAVIOURAL NOT COGNITIVE INFJ on this pedestal of perceiving differently to everyone else which just isn't the case. ISFPs can struggle by way of living vicariously through other people so you do have a point here; to move past that as you say is a sign of growth. I think it's a bit patronising to state that most people live by social rules, again this isn't the case - people may seemingly blend in but for a reason. A cognitive ENFJ would pick on the social nuances as to why very quickly as would other convergent Fe types. What you're referring to is rather unhelpful attachment issues which can be the case for any cognitive type; I'd stay clear of making erroneous generalisations as this just divides the typology community even more & contributes to the false perceptions of what actually constitutes an INFJ cognitively speaking. Hierarchy: this is applicable to the Fi-Te axis; the cognitive INFJ can actually fit very well with In organisations as long as they're given the license to implement their abstract theorems. You're making out like most people are mindless machines just doing x & y blindly when again that is not the case. Sorry but this was deeply insulting to humanity in general & illustrates a lack of Ne-Fe perspective which can be attributed to some ISFPs. Again big behavioural stereotype re the INFJ switching up their identity - no they are divergent Fe-Se users; ISFPs on the other hand are natural actors & actresses with their convergent Fi-Ni
Um, so this isn't like a large percentage of people? It's really that unusual? Grim
No, Wenzes and the vast majority of people on here are not cognitive INFJs (who are rare) but rather ISFPs & ESFPs.
You're kinda making these people seem like they have nothing but problems. It's kinda depressing. I don't think I'm one of these people. I like some of the stuff you say though. You have nice eyes too. But damn!
You should take off the "INFJ" part and just be a life coach in general. Your subs will go up fast probably. Enjoy your day.
I'd take off the INFJ label as she's not a cognitive INFJ but an ISFP. Yes some of the generic advice is very good and I don't think she's deliberately false advertising but a cognitive INFJ she is not.
INFJs have a lot of specific "problems". Wenzes helps me and lots of us with understanding ourselves in relation to others. Its not depressing if you are an INFJ. It sounds like you are not one though.
We're in good company fellow INFJers....analytical studies show that Jesus would have been an INFJ 😊
This is another video I will be sharing with my wife (ISFJ). I have been sharing so much of my inner journey with her and I think as I become more self aware I am astounded by how differently I have seen the world than those around me. Most of my life I have been struggling to see the world as everyone else does and it has never worked for me. Time and time again I get tired or burned out trying to think and see things as those around me do. But I never really considered that my INFJ way of seeing the world was equally valid and that it could actually serve me instead of being something I had to feel ashamed about and try to change. That is where you have been such a life saver Wenzes! You encourage us to show up in the world as ourselves and not to be ashamed of our personality. We almost appear to be neurodivergent. And that is not a bad thing and its something society is more tolerant of than in earlier generations. www.verywellmind.com/what-is-neurodivergence-and-what-does-it-mean-to-be-neurodivergent-5196627
I think what Wenzes espouse is much more applicable to ISFPs, neurodivergence and HSPs in general as an ISFP herself. Her videos are clearly Fi-Ni not the abstract rationalism of the INFJ. 'Showing up as yourself' is much more applicable to the individualism of the Fi dom and Se authority sense of urgency. Many people mistype, in fact the vast majority, due to behaviourally imbued stereotypes about the INFJ which are nothing more than pseudo science. I highly recommend Cognitive Personality Theory to anyone looking to ascertain their true type.
@@Tified967 Where are you getting that she is an ISFP?
Thanks!
These 5 also seem to me to be suitable for their own poster or as a addition to the existing one