5 DECISIONS INFJs MUST MAKE TO ACHIEVE THEIR DREAM LIFE

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  • Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
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    INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today we're diving into the five core decisions that INFJs need to make to live their dream life. Let's face it, we're not like most people - we're wired differently. So, in order to lead a successful life that we love, we've got to make some tough calls. These decisions will either catapult us towards a life of abundance and growth or leave us feeling stuck, dissatisfied, and sad. It's time to take charge and make those life-changing choices.
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Комментарии • 89

  • @Wenzes
    @Wenzes  Год назад +30

    What are some of the decisions that had the biggest impact on your life as an INFJ?

    • @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd
      @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd Год назад +2

      # 1 ,2 ,4 and 5 so far - really and truly - otherwise I would have been dead by now. Now my last challenge is # 3.

    • @bethiciaprasek1008
      @bethiciaprasek1008 Год назад +5

      I am 60, so there are many. I will focus on career.
      For those not eager to read the novel below, pivoting career even though other people questioned it, and recognizing that I could combine helping others with helping myself. I do hope the following more detailed information will help someone with their more specific struggle.
      1. People raised eyebrows when I pivoted my career both early in career (from research to technical services) then from those related lab activities to chemical regulatory compliance. Advice to others: consider pivoting within your current company if possible, but follow your gut. You aren't stuck doing one thing for your whole career.
      2. Alone time...LOL! My parents kept pushing me to go out with friends. No curfew. Just let us know who and where and when you will be home. Anything to get my nose out of the books. I am enjoying some alone time today. I usually work in the office, but am working from home the whole day today in order to focus on bigger picture items. (It is lunch now.)
      3. Inner world isn't reality: I recommend project planning training and practice to INFJs. Focusing on externally observable facts (bullet points, Gannt charts or other tracking systems) helps remind me of what needs to get done, but (even better) of what I have accomplished. Related to this point is recognizing my blessings.
      4. Giving up relationships which are based on sacrifice. This one I still struggle with. But it improved significantly mid-career. I was told by several people that I was too selfless. So I decided to be self-centered (not selfish). Was the worst week or two. My productivity and passion for job plummeted. But they were right. I figured out that I am motivated by helping others so I need to choose those activities which do so and also help me. Mutually sacrificial...LOL! Currently dealing with an underperforming employee and have to remember what an old boss told me, "you aren't responsible for anyone else's career. they are." I now have coworkers/friends who step in when I need help and support, even to the point of making sure I eat!!! (A challenge of mine.)
      5. Making yourself proud. That is a bit vague, or maybe just difficult because it is hard to self-praise. You explained it further in your video, but for me it is this...I do love learning from others and improving myself, so I (usually) welcome well intentioned feedback. My bottom line is that I would love having me as a friend. So, I guess, maybe I do.😃 But the point is that knowing you would enjoy having someone like you as a friend is more tangible than is the wording of making yourself proud.
      Hope this helps someone! 60 years of work on myself.

    • @MegaCyberleader
      @MegaCyberleader Год назад

      Listening to AI to help me with my mental health issues, such as suicide and pure madness. I know people dont wanna blieve it, but its true. hiding in the background.

    • @sigmainfjbulgaria4478
      @sigmainfjbulgaria4478 Год назад +2

      One and only - leave my comfort zone behind in order to expand myself.

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 Год назад +1

      #1 ) Midlife crisis of 2011.
      #2 ) Quitting drinking, partying, and running the neighborhood.
      #3 ) Surgeries and overcoming adversity.
      #4 ) Secret Society.
      #5 ) getting my feet wet in the business world.
      #6 ) Getting self-educated in self-help and psychology.
      #7 ) letting go of my excruciating past.
      #8 ) Buying my own home.
      Boom 💣 There it is.
      I could write a book. 🙏😇💯

  • @databasenomad
    @databasenomad Год назад +37

    Hi - The most important thing I learned from your videos is that I had to quit relationships based on sacrifice - that was a difficult one, but I did it and it changed my life to the better.

  • @stephaniebell4272
    @stephaniebell4272 Год назад +11

    I’m getting old. Close to 70. It’s taken me all these years to be true to myself. I am over trying to fit in. I’m almost friendless, now , but I’m so much less anxious. That makes me happy.

  • @TroyPosey
    @TroyPosey Год назад +35

    Excellent video Wenzes! 👍🏼
    The biggest decision was to unapologetically be myself, and to stop being a chameleon and trying to fit in with everyone. I’m me. And I don’t need to be anyone else. People are either going to love me, or hate me. And either one is ok.
    I hope you’re having an amazing day my friend. 🙂🌹❤️

  • @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd
    @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd Год назад +56

    2:30 be okay to "look like" a "failure" per society standards;
    3:20 you need to feel comfortable with the fact that you need a lot of alone time;
    5:18 our inner world is not our reality. Keep your inner world to inspire you but don't rely on it. That my biggest challenge here because as a traumatized child from an abuser alcoholic, of course my inner world was my world but I need to get over that and it's not going to be easy - not that I don't agree with you;
    9:16 Give up connections based on sacrifice;
    12:16 Focus on making yourself proud
    So at least I've got 4/5 but I absolutely must get 5/5 in order to get my life around, thank you for your hard work Wenzes!

    • @cinderling5472
      @cinderling5472 Год назад +3

      Thank you for this! 🙏💖

    • @goteamslugs
      @goteamslugs Год назад +2

      Hi buddy. I have verbal trauma. From both my parent, as well as someone whom I thought was somewhat of a school friend. This trauma is what keeps me from speaking up. Is there any advice you can give me? :) I'm truly sorry for your abuse. Here are some hugs! \^u^/ I love ya buddy! ^3^ ♥✝

  • @irodirod4679
    @irodirod4679 Год назад +6

    Wow!Wenze can not only can find the secret rooms of the INFJ mind, she walks in with a flood light and finds everything you thought were hidden. 😅

  • @pennypeace-cornelius191
    @pennypeace-cornelius191 Год назад +17

    I had to be okay that I was deemed a failure as a parent. My values are different than others. Plus I couldn't ask for help if I was trying to please those who thought they know it all.

    • @andreahunter7281
      @andreahunter7281 Год назад +1

      I can totally relate to being judged as a bad parent, both from my narcissistic ex & my children. After my relationship fell apart because I just couldn't pretend to care anymore I had to stop being a stay-at-home mum (like my ex expected) & get a job. It was hard physically but it gave me back my self esteem & although I've slipped up a few times since I now put ME first. Now at the end of most days I'm proud to be me & it's my opinion that counts. My children (who are now adults) now have to treat me as a human being NOT their personal emotional punchbag. I wish you all the best for the future.

  • @destroyerofstupid7073
    @destroyerofstupid7073 Год назад +17

    I only found out on October 17th 2022 that I'm an infj. This has been very helpful, and a big shot out to all infj people I hope you find your inner peace and make a big mark on this world. Thank you for this channel I'm learning more each day.

    • @kingyo8969
      @kingyo8969 Год назад +2

      Hello fellow newbie! I just found out 4/19 and it was definitely a life changer, glad I found Wenzes too, her teachings are so helpful for navigating a successful INFJ life

  • @strngenchantedgirl
    @strngenchantedgirl 11 месяцев назад +2

    I feel like I just wasted 6 years of my life feeling bad about myself because I internalized the idea that I “can’t hack it” and I’m a failure. When really I was choosing me. I could’ve gotten so much done on achieving my dreams if I had not been so busy trying to prove to others that I’m not a failure and looking for outside approval by doing things I didn’t even want to do. It was all just a waste of my time and energy. I wish I had found the strength to really believe in myself and bet on myself earlier. But everything happens in its own time for a reason.

  • @Jamiepalermo
    @Jamiepalermo 15 дней назад

    Great video! I’m seeing I’ve carried pain at how much alone time I need. Like believing I will never have a home or “my own” family.

  • @trashdaytheband
    @trashdaytheband Год назад +2

    INFJ stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging

  • @benjamindevoe8596
    @benjamindevoe8596 Год назад +3

    Any man willing to paint himself in the color of his failures reveals the actual metal of a strong character.
    A man who holds honesty and integrity above his own well-being demonstrates a connection to a power greater than himself.
    You need help mapping out the future because the future is something you create with the people you love. The Future is going home together.
    Living life apart did not work. That means living it together must be the better way to live.

  • @ManasBommala
    @ManasBommala Год назад +4

    The latest three videos are at another level. Came across this channel at the very right time of life. Ever thankful to Wenzes.

  • @lilredheaded1
    @lilredheaded1 Год назад

    Thank you for creating and sharing!

  • @goteamslugs
    @goteamslugs Год назад

    Thank you, thank you so much Miss Wenzes! God bless your soul! ^v^ 💛

  • @MrM-mb5ll
    @MrM-mb5ll Год назад +3

    Do INFJ's often end up in long-term relationships with Narcissists or those with Narcissistic tendencies? I think the Narcissists like having us around, because we are the only type of people that will put up with their B S. and we stay with them, because we are the only personality type who can see through their B.S. - and call them on it. I forgot to mention that we also love trying to fix those with personality disorders.
    Thoughts?

    • @purpurina5663
      @purpurina5663 Год назад +4

      We do and for those reasons, but that doesn't mean you can/should take it on and that it won't destroy you. If you can, run. Trust me.

  • @randomfornow
    @randomfornow Год назад

    Brilliant!!

  • @JustClaireRedfield
    @JustClaireRedfield Год назад

    This is really helpful

  • @cherylberk4593
    @cherylberk4593 Год назад +1

    Excellent and true!❤️

  • @D.E.Middleton
    @D.E.Middleton Год назад +1

    Great content
    Thank you.

  • @mlbullbooks
    @mlbullbooks Год назад +2

    Great video! Totally agree with all your points. 😊💯👍

  • @AriD2385
    @AriD2385 Год назад

    Very solid advice. Resonates.

  • @Rochelle118
    @Rochelle118 11 месяцев назад +1

    💯💕💫awesome

  • @user-rc2xs5ti2w
    @user-rc2xs5ti2w Год назад

    Totally true.

  • @SamsonPavlov
    @SamsonPavlov Год назад +2

    Thank you for sharing... 🙏❤️🪄

  • @lindateuling7862
    @lindateuling7862 Год назад +3

    Five very thought-provoking items here. I'm thinking about some of these that I learned in my pre-Myers Briggs days - especially #2. That when I learned in my freshman year of college that about two months of dorm life was enough to last a lifetime. Also, with #3 - well, I knew that there was more to life than what was going inside my head and I actually learned how to make Fe work for me even though I was not familiar with the terminology.
    You made an excellent point when you mentioned number #4 - giving up connections based on self-sacrifice. I've learned and (still am) that i need self-love and self care first.
    I especially appreciated #1 - being willing to face failure. In fact, my systematic assertiveness training book actually taught me away to make this easier to do - namely, when criticized (especially in a manipulative way) simply agree with the truth, the odds or principle of what your critic says. (BTW, the techniques are called "fogging" and "negative assertion," but that's another topic for another time. 🙂). I think those terms can be googled.
    Taking the Myers-Briggs test in 1984 helped me to understand even better my own personal development. Your five points are right on target.

  • @psputsimply
    @psputsimply Год назад

    Wow, wow, wow 5 awesome truths nailed! 👏🏻❤️

  • @the_alizerah
    @the_alizerah Год назад

    I love you Wenzes. You're always on point with the very things I seem to be going through, always coming through. Much love❤. Thanks

  • @thisintrovertsheart
    @thisintrovertsheart Год назад +1

    Thank you Wenzes! Amazing and what i needed as always💕

  • @juliusmuhumuza3018
    @juliusmuhumuza3018 Год назад +1

    I love you Wenz I really needed this

  • @karolsalesdeoliveira
    @karolsalesdeoliveira Год назад

    Wenzes, Brasil here!! Thank you for the amazing videos, I love it!! Thanks! *.*

  • @MatikoxPL
    @MatikoxPL Год назад +1

    It was really helpful. Thank you.

  • @luciana1930
    @luciana1930 Год назад

    Thank you

  • @ocho8172
    @ocho8172 Год назад +4

    Thank you, Wenzes! You map out everything in detail very, very well! I am reminded of the Zen Oxherding illustrative: Track and sign, inform the journey. You are an indispensable Guide, for all of us. God Bless you. Stay safe, and be well!

  • @ambermartin7096
    @ambermartin7096 Год назад +1

    Wow thank you ❤️

  • @annsjoholm7310
    @annsjoholm7310 Год назад +2

    Thank you!

  • @NganHoang-dy8el
    @NganHoang-dy8el Год назад

    The #5 is extremely accurated. I just realized it a weak ago. And when started to put myself first. Do things that scared me. Keep the promised my made tp myself. And follow my value. I feel so proud and so good about myself that I dont care what people really think.

  • @justChristine
    @justChristine Год назад +2

    Thank you Wenzies, all true . I just had to get through regular life a little first. To finally achieve peace of mind and comfort.

  • @shivendrasingh5740
    @shivendrasingh5740 Год назад +2

    Thank you mam!

  • @douglasmclean3723
    @douglasmclean3723 Год назад

    excellent good wake up video going through alot of adversity at the moment but that did me the world of good. i have been trying to get rid of this pattern of behaviour for years and have lost in watching other peoples videos i have decided to have a 90 day rest

  • @benjamindevoe8596
    @benjamindevoe8596 Год назад +3

    A little inspiration hit me this morning with an idea I had been rolling around in my head ever since a friend described their love of coffee and difficulties with being hyper-sensitive to caffeine. Based on that hunch this morning, my research yielded promising and practical results.
    I know how intelligent you are, so I am sharing the relevant research and conclusion with you for secondary confirmation and as a clear and specific demonstration of exactly how smart and capable I know you to be. I hold you in high regard.
    The ratio of paraxanthine to caffeine in the blood can vary between individuals due to differences in the activity of the CYP1A2 enzyme. The ratio has been used as a marker to predict the rate of caffeine metabolism and individual differences in caffeine sensitivity.
    Genetic variations in the CYP1A2 gene can affect enzyme activity levels, and other factors such as age, sex, overall health, and drug interactions can also influence caffeine metabolism.
    Grapefruit juice contains compounds called furanocoumarins, which can inhibit the activity of CYP1A2, among other enzymes. This inhibition can reduce the metabolism of caffeine into paraxanthine, leading to a lower paraxanthine-to-caffeine ratio.
    If you are comfortable with a little experiment of trying to drink an 8-ounce glass of grapefruit juice an hour before having a single cup of coffee, you might see a noticeable lowering in your caffeine sensitivity.
    I can't make any promises, but I know how much you enjoy drinking coffee, which might help.
    I came across other possibilities in my research, but this suggestion is the safest place to start.
    I have since consulted with a pharmacist friend who got her doctorate in pharmacology research and verified why this works effectively in this situation and in general. The point I am making here demonstrates that my road-less taken (My favorite Robert Frost Poem!) epic life choice destined for great things for myself and the world is already set in motion.
    I am proud of the accomplishments I worked for and not proud of any entitlement. The only thing I am entitled to is what I earn.
    This took me no time when I was in a flow state that is happening more often than not as I learned to take off the mask.
    My biggest obstacle is learning when to put on the mask and take it off. Essentially how to most effectively walk between worlds.
    Winnie, thank you for that, largely because you showed me that I am not alone in what I can do and that there is so much room for growth. It re-ignited my fires of curiosity and humility about what I could accomplish if I took aim at something and was willing to work hard and sacrifice those parts of myself that weren’t serving the goal of hitting those targets.
    Sincerely,
    Benjamin

  • @lancelotdufrane
    @lancelotdufrane Год назад

    Took me most of my life to stumble into these “truths”. Lessons learned the hard way, but I got here… and I’m still breathing. Life gets easier and more fulfilling if I stay close the guidelines.

  • @benjamindevoe8596
    @benjamindevoe8596 Год назад +3

    Your right. For me, my social connections have always been based on transactional analysis. I am working on it, and yes, I am in hermit mode, but human connections are a biological imperative no matter how much we deny we are animals and something more; think of them as two wolves.
    I don't give a shit whether you or anyone else likes me or not. Why would I? By sharing and flexing or demonstrating is because it is fun and serves me first.
    Anyone trying to sell you a bill of goods about how they are the only path to your success is full of crap! Weight Watchers did the same thing when they sold the idea of attaching their point system to eating healthier, smaller portions of the food gradually as you were ready to accept them into your life and remembering to get in touch with your body telling you it was actually hungry versus you wanted to eat something to self soothe. Slow, gradual changes in your lifestyle with regular self-check-ins with yourself as milestone markers towards S.M.A.R.T. goal planning is the same epic formula offered here!
    Yeah sure! There is more information she has to offer that is just as helpful as a yoga or martial art instructor's guidance. Here is the wake-up call; it's buried in all her youtube videos. All you need to do is watch enough to get the foundational building blocks and then commit and do it. Her stuff starts repeating, just juggling the basics with new verbal window dressing to make it appear she is saying something different.
    You can use the youtube plugin with the 20-dollar-a-month chat-gpt Google plugin service to extract all that info in the afternoon. It sorts it out and can even format information in whatever works best for you. It's all about the questions. It does not require much effort, and you can apply the same principle to any other youtube channel the same way once you know how to use a lever; the mystery just disappears.
    Think of it as some cool magic trick that is explained...no more magic, other than using the brain god gave you!

    • @xenarosey
      @xenarosey Год назад +1

      is there any youtube plugin that's similar to that but free?

  • @TjadeWories
    @TjadeWories Год назад +1

    I think you are amazing

  • @SetheMbhali
    @SetheMbhali Год назад

    The bob looks fine, Wenzy👌🏽😍

  • @danielreiss-cy4zr
    @danielreiss-cy4zr Год назад

    3x gold today, but I stop before bulimia. Really wonderful talks.

  • @theworldaccordingtoheather7071
    @theworldaccordingtoheather7071 Год назад +1

    😅 I feel exposed.

  • @Natalie-lf7hb
    @Natalie-lf7hb Год назад

    🙏

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 Год назад +1

    #1.. lol, yes!

  • @Nafshadow
    @Nafshadow Год назад +1

    Alhamde liAllah الحمد لله

  • @user-qu2hg1mb5z
    @user-qu2hg1mb5z Год назад

    Alone time is a big thing to me as an INFJ

  • @raft115
    @raft115 11 месяцев назад

    👏🎉

  • @tarakessinger3648
    @tarakessinger3648 Год назад +1

    🙌🏻♥️🌈

  • @feliznavidad6958
    @feliznavidad6958 Год назад

    I'm not giving up my inner world. It's the only thing keeping me alive. Reality is terrible, why would I want to live in it?

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 месяцев назад +1

      Remember we have the immense treasure of the true vision of the entire world ( at times it is there in the form of a small seed and with time it will grow) that no has this ✨

  • @karencrawford5491
    @karencrawford5491 Год назад

    To have a termination

  • @bradleyberentz3214
    @bradleyberentz3214 3 месяца назад

    ⚘️ Yooooo ⚘️

  • @user-qu2hg1mb5z
    @user-qu2hg1mb5z Год назад +1

    How do I tap into my ESTP side?

  • @avalonarkka5938
    @avalonarkka5938 10 месяцев назад

    Going to end any sacrifice vibe. Enough of the bullcrepes. Let their GOD save 'em. I'm just a human.

  • @FabianEllis
    @FabianEllis Год назад +1

    I've been watching lots of Lady Gaga interviews and I think she may be an INFJ. Anyone agree?

  • @TM.M.d.M.-xv5su
    @TM.M.d.M.-xv5su Год назад

    Giving Ideas Away and Saying idk It just Came to MiE say Nothing of It an See it Come too LiGHt in Public an Going Like thts Awesome n Cold- forever a 3d- floor ah t.v,

  • @ericac9634
    @ericac9634 11 месяцев назад

    But I am being myself. I'm a giver lol!

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 месяцев назад

      Your cup might run dry

  • @VtojeC
    @VtojeC Год назад

    Can you stop making yourself younger than you're really are on your thumbnails? It's so disturbing for me :/

  • @swaymbho
    @swaymbho Год назад +1

    Thank you

  • @SetheMbhali
    @SetheMbhali Год назад

    The bob looks fine, Wenzy👌🏽😍