I always had lot of energy why i managed to do so many sports as a teen and then made my trade as a bricklayer after that for 40 years why my body is finished now at 61. But i still have lot of energy to write like my channel on Odysee where i share all the information i have gathered in my head about historical and political facts lol. As long as i don't need to be around lot of people who like you say takes energy ,i can manage well and give it to people i call my "projects" who i sometimes try to help who has it worse than me even i am kind of homeless moving around. Yes helping other people gives something to you even i don't have much to give more than my life experience . But people seems to listen to me/us so lot of customers of mine when i sell the homeless Mag has become kind of friends . Think that is my INFJ that brings these people back to me i guess and these people gives me a lot through our talks about different matters with each. Different from that smalltalk i or we can not cope with ha ha. I get energy from meeting these people who listens to me yes.
No, as a youth I had immense amount of energy. It’s the bad experiences that raise those cortisol levels that lead to energy reduction for me. Once I get out of the drag it’s a completely different story.
Things that wear me out: Too much sun, too little sun. Any emotional upset--mine or those in my life. Too much sleep, too little sleep. Too much stimulation. Thinking too much. Sustained exertion for 3 hours or more. Too many people or just a few of the wrong ones. Disagreements, especially arguments. And so on and so on...
Wenze’s message could not be more customized or personal. It’s as if she has known a person for years.Nobody is more knowledgeable about INFJs than her.She is truly a treasure. Thank you!!
I agree with you in terms of the 1 in 5 (statistically as that's what tests yield) behavioural INFJ aka the empath, intuitive feeler etc but in terms of the cognitive Jungian INFJ that constitutes 1.2% of the population no - Wenzes & her followers belong to the behavioural group (which is fine). The cognitive INFJ is a Ni-Ti convergent and thus primarily an abstract rationalist not an empath or set of behaviourally imbued characteristics. Personality is not cognition after all. I think this is a very important distinction to make; indeed Wenzes & her followers predominantly comprise of ISFPs & ESFPs which are equally wonderful types. I think this is actually great advice for people with ASC as it's very similar to the concept of energy accounting advocated by the likes of Tony Attwood so I'm not negating how helpful the content it, it's just not specific to a cognitive INFJ.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Setting aside all the subtle and obvious distinctions in the Briggs personality spectrum, and even throwing in Alpha,Beta and sigma groups. The final analysis is what resonants with a group. Like a tuning fork that will harmoniously vibrate to a specific calibrated frequency, so will a well articulated message resonate with individuals of one specific group much more than another.
Absolutely ! Yes. I feel the same way. Wenzes has truly done the work to make her life clear and uncluttered so she can speak on all these varied INFJ topics. She is wonderful.
I'm always tired because I can't get a full nights sleep. I really struggle with going back to sleep again, if I have woken up. I'm really sensitive to all sorts of things when it comes to sleep.
Can really relate. My approach: A lifestyle where I live 2 days every day. I sleep so lightly I always wake early (e.g. 3:30am), so I get up and get stuff done. Then I'm always drained by early afternoon, so I go to bed and sleep for 1.5 to 3 hours, with ~30 mins resting/meditating afterwards to wake up properly. Then I get up again and have a "2nd" day, getting stuff done. Then sleep from ~10pm. It works for me and results in a very simple life, clean and clear, just focussed on well-being and essentials. It works well for me and I'm content. Peace to all, have a great day.
@@davereckoning9530 Yeah, that has been a solution for me as well. And I think that the notion that we has to have 8 consecutive hours of sleep is wrong. It's the quality and total amount that matters most. But atm. I am just pondering whether or not to buy a softer bed. I find that the bed I am sleeping in matters a lot (as well as establishing a sleep rutine for myself, which I have been very, very bad at previously).
Yesterday I was so tired I went to bed about 7:30 pm; woke up around midnight and watched a movie, went back to bed. Woke up around 7:30 am. That's like 10 hours of sleep. Hard week I guess.
Children, the role of parenthood is a double edged sword to an infj for the simple fact that it is an incredibly all consuming role for so many years. It is truly a Herculean task to get some alone time for myself let alone enough sleep. Anyone as an infj out there considering having children please surround yourself with plenty of support family and close trusted friends to help watch your kiddos for an hour or so at least a couple of times a month because children are truly never ending energy drainers simply because they are children and need their parents for everything and they are so curious or playful. I say this as an infj mom who loves her life and family but has no alone time to recharge without sacrificing some sleep time 😅
Several months ago I took the plunge and spoke with a friend who was draining me. It seemed like I was an obligation on her schedule, also didn’t feel comfortable being my authentic self with her. Did it as kind and honest as I knew how… a 20 year friendship promptly ended. Couldn’t believe it… but… a huge burden/energy drain is over. I’m surprised at how relieved I feel . Didn’t realize how much this relationship was costing me.
1:22 # 1 our physical setup 4:16 # 2 Too many people 5:48 # 3 Relational obligations 9:08 # 4 We think there is no other way out 11:28 # 5 We're focused on maintaining our current energy
I have found that when I cut down on relationship management for other people (read: my closest family, fyi, this has taken lots of years of therapy) I have so much more energy to myself and my own projects. I have really been carrying an immense load as a child for 'managing' my siblings and my mother.
When I'm out of the house, meeting people - may be talking to them or whatnot, some of them just don't get that my energy level is limited & @ other times, I wanna be left alone.
I had to recently explain it directly to someone who said I was selfish for not entertaining and inviting her over. I said, I don’t want a bunch of people at my home, entertaining is an immense amount of work and I like it being quiet. That was that.
Low energy is my issue all the time. It's weird that I usually feel like I have more energy inside of me but I just don't let it out because I feel tired and not able to do so..and yes changing that takes a lot of time and it's not easy. I guess I will have to do that and get out of my comfort zone.
I am fortunate and glad to have INFJs in my life who have really given me so much, inspiring and motivating me throughout my life. Even if you guys are drowning, you go out of your way to save someone else who is drowning, and I have always admired that about you. There is so much more awesome stuff I would like to talk about, but I will keep this short. Start taking those first steps, get up, and start living. Classic case of forgoing living when it comes to INFJs. The energy you put out will be given back and recharged. Allow yourself to give to yourself as well. Trying to maintain the little energy you have left from stagnation won't do it. Keep doing what makes you happy, but also do what energizes you.
I am doing that. I can do whatever I can, at least I can save a life, if I could not save mine. Mine is fcked up anyway... I see where is leads, but there is no other choice. This is the way
1. Productive but not a bulldozer 2. Be away from people (minimize contact) 3. Obligations w/others drains our energy! 4. B/C there is no way out (NOT ME!!!!) I sleep!!!!! & I declutter!!!!!! Constantly!!!! #1 in my life!!!! 5. Focused on maintaining energy!!!!! Thank you Wenzes you are ENERGY in a RUclips video! Thank you! I love you! 😘 this video was in my feed this morning made me soooo happy I was so low energy from a baaaad week and missed a meeting this morning from low energy & slept in & I felt guilt. I listened to this video and the guilt melted away….❤
This has been my biggest drawback in life. I have been diabetic since age 13 and so I've been extra tired and unmotivated. If only I could do half the things I dream of I'd be so fulfilled. I grieve all the things I haven't done.
Teaming up with somebody is exhausting to me. Teaming up after I know what I want to do. Another true fact, I am a giver wanting others to achieve their potential then Ai get exhausted for weeks, months and more and instead of wanting to help I avoid them and totally isolate myself. Third true fact that applies to me: working on my sleep and my clutter. No more relationships where I cannot be myself. Thank you very very much.
Wenzes this a great heads up for any INFJ’s that happen to find themselves as caregivers. Especially if your situation goes into years and decades. Thank you!
Yes! I found out within the past couple of years that I have multiple chronic illnesses, which contributes to my lack of energy. I think this message is even more important for INFJ’s dealing with chronic illness.
Hi! This is so true and relatable! I’ve found that the more I preserve my energy the more I keep healing my random chronic illnesses. Dr Gabor Mate has a ton of great info on how emotional self neglect and putting other peoples needs before our own, leads to things like auto immune issues, cancer, fibromyalgia, and the like. Maybe it could be helpful. Good luck and hope you heal more and more.
This woman completely gets us INFJs. I can’t believe so many answers to my life have been here all along. So grateful for her work and happy to know I’m not alone with all you beautiful souls! The last point hit hard because that’s exactly what I’ve been struggling with in particular for the last 3 years. All points were spot on of course, but number five got me hopeful for a new path! Thank you Wenzes!
Great video. One question- What can you do when the toxic relationship where you've been walking on eggshells is a loved one? Standing your ground or re-asserting your boundaries is great for a nasty neighbor or co-worker, but how to navigate a loved one cutting you out and going away? Having this situation with my daughter. Anyone else?
As someone who never takes my own good advice (lol), do the same thing you would with anyone else. In a loving way, of course. But if someone is crossing your boundaries, put them back where they belong. Now I’m going to try to go do this for myself, haha.
Question: how many people on here believe that they might be on the autism spectrum? Experiencing lower energy than others & feeling exhausted by social interaction is very applicable to many people on the spectrum. Problems with executive dysfunction can also present an obstacle in you obtaining your goals (ie people perceive you as lazy even though you're not it just feels like a gigantic wall you have to climb). There's also a lot of references to autism masking in women & having uncomfortable conversations about who you really are as an individual. Wenzes brilliant exposition highly correlates with what Prof Tony Attwood talks about a lot of his channel.
@@illiterate_reader 🤣 what a stupid illogical response how the hell is the question a judgement; people are free to add their own perspectives it's called inquisitive thinking; yet another behavioural INFJ who doesn't have the Ni-Ti convergent pairing. It's not a limbic style question love, it's called cerebralism
@@illiterate_reader 🤣🤣🤣. I'm actually on the spectrum & my opinions are always left in a very rationally detached & cerebral manner - that's Ni-Ti ABSTRACT RATIONALISM; feel free to retort with an Ni-Ti counter position - but no, you can't. I'm never rude or discourteous; troll pmsl. The question actually has a lot of validity as per empirical studies & renowned experts - why so defensive? Sorry, you're not a cognitive INFJ as these are the kind of philosophical expositions they live & breath for. I've already made my position very clear that the channel offers great generic advice albeit not aimed at the cognitive INFJ - how's that trolling? Nope, it doesn't meet the definition of trolling. You're clearly overly invested in resigning yourself to being an INFJ if you have this level of antagonism towards an intelligent divergent TiNi user posting thought provoking questions...on this one occasion, politely don't check out CPT or any critical literature - you'll be even more disturbed. I've actually had a lot of people reach out to me re energy expenditure & autism - it's no laughing matter, I take this highly seriously. You might want to consider, politely, if you're an Fi authority type if you get that hung up on cerebral content that doesn't fit your Fi world view....hmmm who's really the troll...you've chosen to jump on the band wagon & not address a single one of my comments before,..you sound like the troll to me. If Wenzes doesn't want people to politely but critically engage don't put the content out there. You can't even illustrate your point utilising an Ni-Ti functional pairing which proves my point exactly. A lot of people who are on the spectrum will undoubtedly come here for advice & im sorry if you find it offensive that that shouldn't be under the guise of being a cognitive INFJ; incorrect labels can be deeply harmful & do nothing for progressing with Jungian variation, which I'm sure we can all agree on, lest it's just the idea of being a rare type that's appealing. I won't stop being me; I've never been anything but polite yet because I'm a Ti type I'm expected to take rubbish from other people that don't want to think for themselves.
If you have the energy and feel like it’s a descent enough idea could you bless us with a video maybe explaining the differences between infj men and women? Often times I find a lot of infj videos out there predominantly look at it from the female side as it’s more common. Thanks again for all the time and effort you put into your channel, it’s helped me far more than you can imagine.❤
I enjoyed this video Wenzes. I don't think I have always been tired per se but I have never had the energy to go for long periods of time. I am like an old cellphone battery that drains down pretty quickly. I have been that way since child hood. That is why I know it correlates with my innate personality and makeup and is not a later acquired deficit. I have been working diligently on energy management since this last bootcamp and can attest that it has helped me be better at responding to daily life. Since we have such busy minds, we need strong bodies and less chaotic environments so that we can be our best selves and not fall prey to our tendency to get stuck in a loop of negative thinking or indulge our senses in food and drink and other sensual escapes.
good topic... as an entrepreneur, but still in launch and temping, it can be hard for me to have control over things... i tend to let my sleep pattern get very chaotic, and i tend to sit at the computer instead of exercising and going out. When it comes to food I'm pretty good, and yoga I tend to usually do a set of poses every night. Recently I had a number of hits on my emotions and financial situation / social situation was harmed... so I felt quite distrustful and down... I worked really hard to do the things that I love, and ignored the pressures to get out looking for a job etc... until I could reboot. It worked, and my agent came back at me with a solution, a temp job I did in the past. I wallowed in my misery for a while and hibernated but I'm getting back to normal. Plus I learned a lot about the things that I might do to improve my life (jobs, car, local regulations etc)...
This video really goes deep to heart! I've always had the issue of excessive tiredness and many that know and surround me were Always angry over a matter that I never understood right, yet now I realized by this video what better methods that can help me out in the long run! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
This is amazing how this INFJ is such a part of my life. I am quite old but do not live in the old age world of my contemporaries I enjoy the new and the future. I am incredibly healthy for my age and am open to new young ideas, but find your observations incredibly close to the life I have experienced. Very enlightening
Great video! I’m in the process of fixing my organization (creating schedules, set times, etc.) to help me stay on track with daily tasks better and improve my overall well-being. Once I have everything down pat, it will make my life so much easier. I like keeping things in order so I know where everything is and want to make sure I keep up with all my responsibilities efficiently. “With organization comes empowerment” - Lynda Peterson
This time I need to write a bigger comment, as this cut into me deeply. Let's suppose my way to the INFJ epic life is not to go alone? I see those 5 reasons valid - from some viewpoint. As a male INFJ I might see it a bit differently. I was not only tired of the prolonged lone wolf life, but I was dragged out of it. I realized I was not living, suddenly I resumed creating, restarted sports, started thinking on the future, tidied the flat, etc. Even started my personal project, besides the full time job I have. Like I did a comment to another video recently - I was lured out from a cave of my own mind and lifestyle but now it seems to be a mistake. I did not go anywhere in life sitting there in the box alone and building walls, but been safe at least. Now I am with no energy, standing naked outside but still I'd rather die than to going back to the cave. Catch 22 it seems. An epic life without someone important is a no go. Whatever world changing goal I can have I feel it can only be secondary... and I am immobilized and stuck I feel no reason to achieve goals alone. Is that inherently wrong then? So now I see only two options, go ahead and fight to the very end in a hopeless battle with no energy OR give it up and accept a game over... because there is no turning back to the cave to the undead lifestyle. A female INFJ might have a different opinion, keeping in mind this current world has very different challenges for men and women. We all know tons of videos about such. I'd really like a specific video and a serious opinion about man /woman INFJ and the different challenges they face, the differences between them... And again thanks for this video (too).
Male INFJ here. This is going to sound dumb and "that's easy for you to say" but.... The way this worked for me is super-careful selection of life-partner. My wife is naturally calm, kind and practical, wants a simple life, and she understands my INFJ-ness and lovingly works with it. This has saved my life. Far better than being alone (even managed to have a house and kids); far better than being with the wrong person. But to get there I had to kiss a lot of frogs, and be ruthlessly clear with myself (and them) when it became clear it wasn't going to work and I had to move on. She's got to be the right type of person and have real love for you, or it's "No". But I got there in the end. Also, absolutely agree being a male INFJ is a real big challenge. Hang in there man, and take good care of yourself - you've got this!
I think you're referring to the behavioural INFJ in which case, as Wenzes is, the differentiation between men & women is very important as you stated albeit it's safe to say there are no cognitive INFJs on this channel where that level of differentiation in the sexes is probably obsolete 😊
It seems that you need an engagement with a people where you can make a real empacts on their lifes. I think as a young man, while you don't have a family, what you can do is to become a role model for teenager boys, that don't have a proper man im their lifes. Your life will get a deeper meaning. And taking care of youngsters will help you to prepare for your own family. Maybe you'll need to learn some more stuff about psychology. And become more emotionally stable to become a support for others. One of the options, imho
@@OksanaHavryliuk-t7z Well, im not young... been serving my country for 15 years.. cant say I wasnt an impact on many ppl life. In war and peace alike. I think I am stable enough... but. I just get rejected, mostly upon finances, and now, on age terms as well. And as INFJ I am searching for a connection deep enough of intellect and soul. That needs time. Trust needs time. Noone gives. Ppl want everythin now OR never. And finally if I find such, I get refused in the end. I really wish I had discovered my INFJ personality in my late 20 early 30. Todays 20y old are worthless... with some rare exception.
I’ve said the same thing, that goals achieved are pointless with no one to share them with. Look for an INFJ partner with similar goals (easier said than done, for sure.) My first marriage to an ENTJ covert narc was a disaster, but I’m with an INFJ now and life is finally working. Just be sure to keep a balance during the search. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) increased my quality of life drastically with practical skills and applications that help keep things balanced. Good luck!
The last point really hit home. I do that in personal relationships, at work… only recently I started to speak up and it was a horrible experience but i know I have to learn to do it 😂. Maybe a video on how to face those ‘conflict’ moments without so much suffering? (I spent weeks preparing for the conversation and weeks later analyzing and thinking next steps… it should be easier…)
I think this is great advice & very applicable to people who are perhaps neurodivergent; if anyone has heard of energy accounting for ASC the advice is actually tailored in a similar way. I'd say this is applicable for all the cognitive types. I am wondering how many of you are conflating being an INFJ with neurodivergence? Whilst I have theories on the actual cognitive INFJ being on some part of the spectrum I believe they are on a different subset of the spectrum. These are the kind of things the cognitive INFJs NiTi loves talking about 😊
In the past, your approach involved asserting that individuals did not fall under the INFJ personality type. Presently, you seem inclined to strongly advocate the concept of neurodivergence and autism, almost as if you are trying to impose this perspective upon us. One cannot help but wonder if, in the future, you might extend this inclination to encompass personality disorders and mental conditions. It appears that your motivations stem from a wounded ego, being perturbed by the strength and poise exhibited by certain individuals. It is important to recognize that your intentions could not be genuinely rooted in aiding others but rather in diminishing them. One hopes that you are aware of the label attributed to such individuals.
Yeah you are right , i mostly ignore your videos because it's too much to know , but today i am waiting and randomly open your latest video and it really helped ... Tha ks ❤❤❤❤❤
This is one of the most related videos to me (which is dozens). Thanks, thanks thanks a lot Wenzes. This helped me figure out some things I have stuck with for weeks. Have the answers now and now I gain a lot more confidence to continue my steps. Best luck to you and your family always. Love from Indonesia. ❤
5 REASONS INFJs RUN LOW ON ENERGY (& how they get reenergized) 1:18 Reason #1 Our physical setup We're very cerebral beings We spend more time in our mind than doing things in reality You can't go after your vision when you rely on someone else to execute You don't have to do all the things, you just have to do the right onezs Stop comparing yourself to others and work with what you have You have the power to hold on to your vision for a long time 4:10 Reason #2 Too Many People You need to be away from people for a lnonger period of time We Often overextend ourselves Maintaining relationships is something that takes energy Are there ways to minimize your contact with people? 5:44 Reason #3 Relational obligations You put energy into others because you feel responsible for them Are you doing it because it makes you feel good about yourself? Are you doing it because it's easier to focus on others than yourself? If you keep on giving, you won't have any energy left You have to stop giving because the takers will never stop taking When you have enough energy for yourself, then you can give to others Push yourself into the other direction in order to find balance 9:03 Reason #4 We think there is no other way out You can improve your physicla energy Physical energy management is very important for INFJs The more abundance you have, the more energetic you will be It doesn't seem much harder because I have much more energy Maybe you need to work on your sleep 11:22 Reason #5 We're focused on maintaining our current energy It's okay of it requires more energy to make the switch Making an effort one time for more energy in the long term is worth it. Getting the result you want is worth the extra effort
I wonder whether there is a correlation between INFJ and the human design projector type. It truly feels like waking up with a quarter tank instead of a full tank like others. But of course the combo post traumatic stress some neurodivergence and lots of adhd traits are exhausting to have when not fully embraced and accepted, I mean whipping yourself into shape is met with such resistance because you basically reject large parts of yourself, which is an energy leak in its own right Still not sure why I am fixed in the IN nature but the FJ-TP seems to flip flop? What's up with that? Not that I feel like 2 personalities (more like 'a symphony of selves') but it makes me doubt sometimes whether one is more mask/coping mechanism and the other is more the real me, then again, all parts are mine and therefor real ....? 🤔 ✌️
I am so grateful to have found you and your channel. I have been thinking for so long there’s something really wrong with me. You have so many videos on things that just explain how I’m feeling, and why, and what I can do about it. So many of my traumas have been due to having a personality type that neither my parents nor I really understood and I’m so grateful that you’re helping me unravel this. It’s so healing. Thank you.🥲
1 and #5 have always worked hand in hand for me. We INFJs don't have a super high energy level to begin with. And complicating it for me was the fact that I contracted the Epstein-Barr virus in my early twenties and lupus later on. Whether it was a cause and effect relationship, I'm not sure of but I have a hunch I'd contracted lupus even before realizing it. And while I was able to get work done, I realized after a while that it was harder on me than on a lot of other people. The matter(s) of too many people, relational obligations, and not seeing a way out - well, believe me, I understood all too well. No wonder we focus so much on maintaining our current energy! 🥱 However, as you said, we can work things out and as a now senior citizen, I've learned how to pace myself in a way that fits me - I could write a book about that (hey, maybe I should🙂). We can think and plan things through so that we can conserve our energy and still interact with people in a way that won't drain our energy as fast.
Do you feel like you run low on energy way more often than other people?
Energy is like a commodity. Be Careful what you spend your energy on. Better be worth it.
Yes. To the point where I genuinely thought there is something physically wrong with me.
I work in public. I live in a foster home. Is there such a thing as energy in an adult?
I always had lot of energy why i managed to do so many sports as a teen and then made my trade as a bricklayer after that for 40 years why my body is finished now at 61. But i still have lot of energy to write like my channel on Odysee where i share all the information i have gathered in my head about historical and political facts lol. As long as i don't need to be around lot of people who like you say takes energy ,i can manage well and give it to people i call my "projects" who i sometimes try to help who has it worse than me even i am kind of homeless moving around. Yes helping other people gives something to you even i don't have much to give more than my life experience . But people seems to listen to me/us so lot of customers of mine when i sell the homeless Mag has become kind of friends . Think that is my INFJ that brings these people back to me i guess and these people gives me a lot through our talks about different matters with each. Different from that smalltalk i or we can not cope with ha ha. I get energy from meeting these people who listens to me yes.
No, as a youth I had immense amount of energy. It’s the bad experiences that raise those cortisol levels that lead to energy reduction for me. Once I get out of the drag it’s a completely different story.
I'm burnt-out.
This is why I have more energy than ever in retirement. I live alone and don't have to be around anyone at work and it's blissful.
"you'll probably lay flat for a couple of days" 😂 Yes. And it's worth every second.
Things that wear me out:
Too much sun, too little sun.
Any emotional upset--mine or those in my life.
Too much sleep, too little sleep.
Too much stimulation.
Thinking too much.
Sustained exertion for 3 hours or more.
Too many people or just a few of the wrong ones.
Disagreements, especially arguments.
And so on and so on...
All of the above lol
Same😄
So basically the extremes.
So just being alive?
welcome to my world, wow,..............so true
#6 because we've been a victim of narcissistic abuse
She explains why I could never speak up for myself. I hate that people steal our life force and then criticize our lack of energy.
Wenze’s message could not be more customized or personal. It’s as if she has known a person for years.Nobody is more knowledgeable about INFJs than her.She is truly a treasure. Thank you!!
And you know it’s truly customized from an original place, as it’s stated in a way that only a true infj would know and understand in a concrete way.
I agree with you in terms of the 1 in 5 (statistically as that's what tests yield) behavioural INFJ aka the empath, intuitive feeler etc but in terms of the cognitive Jungian INFJ that constitutes 1.2% of the population no - Wenzes & her followers belong to the behavioural group (which is fine). The cognitive INFJ is a Ni-Ti convergent and thus primarily an abstract rationalist not an empath or set of behaviourally imbued characteristics. Personality is not cognition after all. I think this is a very important distinction to make; indeed Wenzes & her followers predominantly comprise of ISFPs & ESFPs which are equally wonderful types. I think this is actually great advice for people with ASC as it's very similar to the concept of energy accounting advocated by the likes of Tony Attwood so I'm not negating how helpful the content it, it's just not specific to a cognitive INFJ.
@@AnyaAnnika67 Setting aside all the subtle and obvious distinctions in the Briggs personality spectrum, and even throwing in Alpha,Beta and sigma groups. The final analysis is what resonants with a group. Like a tuning fork that will harmoniously vibrate to a specific calibrated frequency, so will a well articulated message resonate with individuals of one specific group much more than another.
Absolutely ! Yes. I feel the same way. Wenzes has truly done the work to make her life clear and uncluttered so she can speak on all these varied INFJ topics. She is wonderful.
I'm always tired because I can't get a full nights sleep. I really struggle with going back to sleep again, if I have woken up. I'm really sensitive to all sorts of things when it comes to sleep.
Can really relate.
My approach: A lifestyle where I live 2 days every day. I sleep so lightly I always wake early (e.g. 3:30am), so I get up and get stuff done. Then I'm always drained by early afternoon, so I go to bed and sleep for 1.5 to 3 hours, with ~30 mins resting/meditating afterwards to wake up properly. Then I get up again and have a "2nd" day, getting stuff done. Then sleep from ~10pm.
It works for me and results in a very simple life, clean and clear, just focussed on well-being and essentials. It works well for me and I'm content. Peace to all, have a great day.
@@davereckoning9530 Yeah, that has been a solution for me as well. And I think that the notion that we has to have 8 consecutive hours of sleep is wrong. It's the quality and total amount that matters most. But atm. I am just pondering whether or not to buy a softer bed. I find that the bed I am sleeping in matters a lot (as well as establishing a sleep rutine for myself, which I have been very, very bad at previously).
Yesterday I was so tired I went to bed about 7:30 pm; woke up around midnight and watched a movie, went back to bed. Woke up around 7:30 am. That's like 10 hours of sleep. Hard week I guess.
Children, the role of parenthood is a double edged sword to an infj for the simple fact that it is an incredibly all consuming role for so many years. It is truly a Herculean task to get some alone time for myself let alone enough sleep. Anyone as an infj out there considering having children please surround yourself with plenty of support family and close trusted friends to help watch your kiddos for an hour or so at least a couple of times a month because children are truly never ending energy drainers simply because they are children and need their parents for everything and they are so curious or playful. I say this as an infj mom who loves her life and family but has no alone time to recharge without sacrificing some sleep time 😅
Several months ago I took the plunge and spoke with a friend who was draining me. It seemed like I was an obligation on her schedule, also didn’t feel comfortable being my authentic self with her. Did it as kind and honest as I knew how… a 20 year friendship promptly ended. Couldn’t believe it… but… a huge burden/energy drain is over. I’m surprised at how relieved I feel . Didn’t realize how much this relationship was costing me.
Study of the infj will result in opening the hidden treasures of the universe✨✨
1:22 # 1 our physical setup
4:16 # 2 Too many people
5:48 # 3 Relational obligations
9:08 # 4 We think there is no other way out
11:28 # 5 We're focused on maintaining our current energy
"Always the givers who have to stop giving." I love that. I wish I knew this when I was younger. Thanks, Wenzes!
This !!!!!
I have found that when I cut down on relationship management for other people (read: my closest family, fyi, this has taken lots of years of therapy) I have so much more energy to myself and my own projects. I have really been carrying an immense load as a child for 'managing' my siblings and my mother.
Sometimes it does take therapy, and it definitely takes time. But it can be done.
@@lindateuling7862 I agree :)
The same!!!!!!!
She is, hands down, the best INFJ life coach on the internet.
When I'm out of the house, meeting people - may be talking to them or whatnot, some of them just don't get that my energy level is limited & @ other times, I wanna be left alone.
I had to recently explain it directly to someone who said I was selfish for not entertaining and inviting her over. I said, I don’t want a bunch of people at my home, entertaining is an immense amount of work and I like it being quiet. That was that.
Low energy is my issue all the time. It's weird that I usually feel like I have more energy inside of me but I just don't let it out because I feel tired and not able to do so..and yes changing that takes a lot of time and it's not easy. I guess I will have to do that and get out of my comfort zone.
Before I even pick up a wrench or a hammer, I've already built it in my mind.
I am fortunate and glad to have INFJs in my life who have really given me so much, inspiring and motivating me throughout my life. Even if you guys are drowning, you go out of your way to save someone else who is drowning, and I have always admired that about you. There is so much more awesome stuff I would like to talk about, but I will keep this short.
Start taking those first steps, get up, and start living. Classic case of forgoing living when it comes to INFJs. The energy you put out will be given back and recharged. Allow yourself to give to yourself as well. Trying to maintain the little energy you have left from stagnation won't do it. Keep doing what makes you happy, but also do what energizes you.
On behalf of the INFJs in your life, thank you for the lovely compliment.
I am doing that. I can do whatever I can, at least I can save a life, if I could not save mine. Mine is fcked up anyway... I see where is leads, but there is no other choice. This is the way
What a nice thing to say.
1. Productive but not a bulldozer
2. Be away from people (minimize contact)
3. Obligations w/others drains our energy!
4. B/C there is no way out (NOT ME!!!!) I sleep!!!!! & I declutter!!!!!! Constantly!!!! #1 in my life!!!!
5. Focused on maintaining energy!!!!!
Thank you Wenzes you are ENERGY in a RUclips video! Thank you! I love you! 😘 this video was in my feed this morning made me soooo happy I was so low energy from a baaaad week and missed a meeting this morning from low energy & slept in & I felt guilt. I listened to this video and the guilt melted away….❤
This has been my biggest drawback in life. I have been diabetic since age 13 and so I've been extra tired and unmotivated. If only I could do half the things I dream of I'd be so fulfilled. I grieve all the things I haven't done.
Teaming up with somebody is exhausting to me. Teaming up after I know what I want to do. Another true fact, I am a giver wanting others to achieve their potential then Ai get exhausted for weeks, months and more and instead of wanting to help I avoid them and totally isolate myself. Third true fact that applies to me: working on my sleep and my clutter. No more relationships where I cannot be myself. Thank you very very much.
Wenzes this a great heads up for any INFJ’s that happen to find themselves as caregivers. Especially if your situation goes into years and decades. Thank you!
How remarkable; never heard the low energy issue related to INFJ. This has been an issue for me since childhood. What a trip.
Yes! I found out within the past couple of years that I have multiple chronic illnesses, which contributes to my lack of energy. I think this message is even more important for INFJ’s dealing with chronic illness.
Hi! This is so true and relatable! I’ve found that the more I preserve my energy the more I keep healing my random chronic illnesses. Dr Gabor Mate has a ton of great info on how emotional self neglect and putting other peoples needs before our own, leads to things like auto immune issues, cancer, fibromyalgia, and the like. Maybe it could be helpful. Good luck and hope you heal more and more.
I feel the same, doing a lot of resting right now, hermit energy. Feeling better and better!
This woman completely gets us INFJs. I can’t believe so many answers to my life have been here all along. So grateful for her work and happy to know I’m not alone with all you beautiful souls! The last point hit hard because that’s exactly what I’ve been struggling with in particular for the last 3 years. All points were spot on of course, but number five got me hopeful for a new path! Thank you Wenzes!
Great video.
One question-
What can you do when the toxic relationship where you've been walking on eggshells is a loved one?
Standing your ground or re-asserting your boundaries is great for a nasty neighbor or co-worker, but how to navigate a loved one cutting you out and going away?
Having this situation with my daughter.
Anyone else?
Sending you love 😢❤! Pray about it also 🙏🏽
As someone who never takes my own good advice (lol), do the same thing you would with anyone else. In a loving way, of course. But if someone is crossing your boundaries, put them back where they belong.
Now I’m going to try to go do this for myself, haha.
infj here : this is all true
Question: how many people on here believe that they might be on the autism spectrum? Experiencing lower energy than others & feeling exhausted by social interaction is very applicable to many people on the spectrum. Problems with executive dysfunction can also present an obstacle in you obtaining your goals (ie people perceive you as lazy even though you're not it just feels like a gigantic wall you have to climb). There's also a lot of references to autism masking in women & having uncomfortable conversations about who you really are as an individual. Wenzes brilliant exposition highly correlates with what Prof Tony Attwood talks about a lot of his channel.
I have wondered for years if i’m on the autism spectrum
Isn't autism about inability to operate abstracts in your daily life? Doesn't sound like an INFJ at all
@@illiterate_reader 🤣 what a stupid illogical response how the hell is the question a judgement; people are free to add their own perspectives it's called inquisitive thinking; yet another behavioural INFJ who doesn't have the Ni-Ti convergent pairing. It's not a limbic style question love, it's called cerebralism
@@illiterate_reader 🤣🤣🤣. I'm actually on the spectrum & my opinions are always left in a very rationally detached & cerebral manner - that's Ni-Ti ABSTRACT RATIONALISM; feel free to retort with an Ni-Ti counter position - but no, you can't. I'm never rude or discourteous; troll pmsl. The question actually has a lot of validity as per empirical studies & renowned experts - why so defensive? Sorry, you're not a cognitive INFJ as these are the kind of philosophical expositions they live & breath for. I've already made my position very clear that the channel offers great generic advice albeit not aimed at the cognitive INFJ - how's that trolling? Nope, it doesn't meet the definition of trolling. You're clearly overly invested in resigning yourself to being an INFJ if you have this level of antagonism towards an intelligent divergent TiNi user posting thought provoking questions...on this one occasion, politely don't check out CPT or any critical literature - you'll be even more disturbed. I've actually had a lot of people reach out to me re energy expenditure & autism - it's no laughing matter, I take this highly seriously. You might want to consider, politely, if you're an Fi authority type if you get that hung up on cerebral content that doesn't fit your Fi world view....hmmm who's really the troll...you've chosen to jump on the band wagon & not address a single one of my comments before,..you sound like the troll to me. If Wenzes doesn't want people to politely but critically engage don't put the content out there. You can't even illustrate your point utilising an Ni-Ti functional pairing which proves my point exactly. A lot of people who are on the spectrum will undoubtedly come here for advice & im sorry if you find it offensive that that shouldn't be under the guise of being a cognitive INFJ; incorrect labels can be deeply harmful & do nothing for progressing with Jungian variation, which I'm sure we can all agree on, lest it's just the idea of being a rare type that's appealing. I won't stop being me; I've never been anything but polite yet because I'm a Ti type I'm expected to take rubbish from other people that don't want to think for themselves.
This sounds also similar to an INFJ with undiagnosed ADHD.
So true ... as always... and it's the the most important ... our energy rules all the rest. Thank you💖💖💖
If you have the energy and feel like it’s a descent enough idea could you bless us with a video maybe explaining the differences between infj men and women? Often times I find a lot of infj videos out there predominantly look at it from the female side as it’s more common. Thanks again for all the time and effort you put into your channel, it’s helped me far more than you can imagine.❤
Frank James is an INFJ male that does great videos on here.
We opt out of the rat race. We slower down And re-emerge in our ways.
I enjoyed this video Wenzes. I don't think I have always been tired per se but I have never had the energy to go for long periods of time. I am like an old cellphone battery that drains down pretty quickly. I have been that way since child hood. That is why I know it correlates with my innate personality and makeup and is not a later acquired deficit. I have been working diligently on energy management since this last bootcamp and can attest that it has helped me be better at responding to daily life. Since we have such busy minds, we need strong bodies and less chaotic environments so that we can be our best selves and not fall prey to our tendency to get stuck in a loop of negative thinking or indulge our senses in food and drink and other sensual escapes.
good topic... as an entrepreneur, but still in launch and temping, it can be hard for me to have control over things... i tend to let my sleep pattern get very chaotic, and i tend to sit at the computer instead of exercising and going out. When it comes to food I'm pretty good, and yoga I tend to usually do a set of poses every night. Recently I had a number of hits on my emotions and financial situation / social situation was harmed... so I felt quite distrustful and down... I worked really hard to do the things that I love, and ignored the pressures to get out looking for a job etc... until I could reboot. It worked, and my agent came back at me with a solution, a temp job I did in the past. I wallowed in my misery for a while and hibernated but I'm getting back to normal. Plus I learned a lot about the things that I might do to improve my life (jobs, car, local regulations etc)...
This video really goes deep to heart! I've always had the issue of excessive tiredness and many that know and surround me were Always angry over a matter that I never understood right, yet now I realized by this video what better methods that can help me out in the long run! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
For me, spending one or two hours with god seperately a day really has improved everything for me
This is amazing how this INFJ is such a part of my life. I am quite old but do not live in the old age world of my contemporaries I enjoy the new and the future. I am incredibly healthy for my age and am open to new young ideas, but find your observations incredibly close to the life I have experienced. Very enlightening
I love how she always have a bunch of reasons for us))
Great video! I’m in the process of fixing my organization (creating schedules, set times, etc.) to help me stay on track with daily tasks better and improve my overall well-being. Once I have everything down pat, it will make my life so much easier. I like keeping things in order so I know where everything is and want to make sure I keep up with all my responsibilities efficiently. “With organization comes empowerment” - Lynda Peterson
Wish i knew some this earlier in my life.....but i intuitively knew. I have to have my down time to have an up time!!
Excellent. This is definitely one of the issues I need to change. Your guidance here is my directive to follow. Thank you!
You are really incredible.
I admire you, several videos helped me at the right time, thanks for sharing
This time I need to write a bigger comment, as this cut into me deeply.
Let's suppose my way to the INFJ epic life is not to go alone? I see those 5 reasons valid - from some viewpoint. As a male INFJ I might see it a bit differently. I was not only tired of the prolonged lone wolf life, but I was dragged out of it. I realized I was not living, suddenly I resumed creating, restarted sports, started thinking on the future, tidied the flat, etc. Even started my personal project, besides the full time job I have.
Like I did a comment to another video recently - I was lured out from a cave of my own mind and lifestyle but now it seems to be a mistake. I did not go anywhere in life sitting there in the box alone and building walls, but been safe at least. Now I am with no energy, standing naked outside but still I'd rather die than to going back to the cave.
Catch 22 it seems. An epic life without someone important is a no go. Whatever world changing goal I can have I feel it can only be secondary... and I am immobilized and stuck I feel no reason to achieve goals alone. Is that inherently wrong then?
So now I see only two options, go ahead and fight to the very end in a hopeless battle with no energy OR give it up and accept a game over... because there is no turning back to the cave to the undead lifestyle.
A female INFJ might have a different opinion, keeping in mind this current world has very different challenges for men and women. We all know tons of videos about such.
I'd really like a specific video and a serious opinion about man /woman INFJ and the different challenges they face, the differences between them...
And again thanks for this video (too).
Male INFJ here. This is going to sound dumb and "that's easy for you to say" but....
The way this worked for me is super-careful selection of life-partner. My wife is naturally calm, kind and practical, wants a simple life, and she understands my INFJ-ness and lovingly works with it. This has saved my life. Far better than being alone (even managed to have a house and kids); far better than being with the wrong person.
But to get there I had to kiss a lot of frogs, and be ruthlessly clear with myself (and them) when it became clear it wasn't going to work and I had to move on. She's got to be the right type of person and have real love for you, or it's "No". But I got there in the end.
Also, absolutely agree being a male INFJ is a real big challenge. Hang in there man, and take good care of yourself - you've got this!
I think you're referring to the behavioural INFJ in which case, as Wenzes is, the differentiation between men & women is very important as you stated albeit it's safe to say there are no cognitive INFJs on this channel where that level of differentiation in the sexes is probably obsolete 😊
It seems that you need an engagement with a people where you can make a real empacts on their lifes. I think as a young man, while you don't have a family, what you can do is to become a role model for teenager boys, that don't have a proper man im their lifes. Your life will get a deeper meaning. And taking care of youngsters will help you to prepare for your own family. Maybe you'll need to learn some more stuff about psychology. And become more emotionally stable to become a support for others. One of the options, imho
@@OksanaHavryliuk-t7z Well, im not young... been serving my country for 15 years.. cant say I wasnt an impact on many ppl life. In war and peace alike. I think I am stable enough... but. I just get rejected, mostly upon finances, and now, on age terms as well. And as INFJ I am searching for a connection deep enough of intellect and soul. That needs time. Trust needs time. Noone gives. Ppl want everythin now OR never. And finally if I find such, I get refused in the end.
I really wish I had discovered my INFJ personality in my late 20 early 30.
Todays 20y old are worthless... with some rare exception.
I’ve said the same thing, that goals achieved are pointless with no one to share them with. Look for an INFJ partner with similar goals (easier said than done, for sure.) My first marriage to an ENTJ covert narc was a disaster, but I’m with an INFJ now and life is finally working.
Just be sure to keep a balance during the search. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) increased my quality of life drastically with practical skills and applications that help keep things balanced.
Good luck!
The last point really hit home. I do that in personal relationships, at work… only recently I started to speak up and it was a horrible experience but i know I have to learn to do it 😂.
Maybe a video on how to face those ‘conflict’ moments without so much suffering? (I spent weeks preparing for the conversation and weeks later analyzing and thinking next steps… it should be easier…)
I think this is great advice & very applicable to people who are perhaps neurodivergent; if anyone has heard of energy accounting for ASC the advice is actually tailored in a similar way. I'd say this is applicable for all the cognitive types. I am wondering how many of you are conflating being an INFJ with neurodivergence? Whilst I have theories on the actual cognitive INFJ being on some part of the spectrum I believe they are on a different subset of the spectrum. These are the kind of things the cognitive INFJs NiTi loves talking about 😊
In the past, your approach involved asserting that individuals did not fall under the INFJ personality type. Presently, you seem inclined to strongly advocate the concept of neurodivergence and autism, almost as if you are trying to impose this perspective upon us. One cannot help but wonder if, in the future, you might extend this inclination to encompass personality disorders and mental conditions. It appears that your motivations stem from a wounded ego, being perturbed by the strength and poise exhibited by certain individuals. It is important to recognize that your intentions could not be genuinely rooted in aiding others but rather in diminishing them.
One hopes that you are aware of the label attributed to such individuals.
🌹🙏 SO TRUE. Thank you Wenzes. God Bless you for clairfying things✝️🌹.
Wenzes, you're awesome! ❤
absolutely true.
Yeah you are right , i mostly ignore your videos because it's too much to know , but today i am waiting and randomly open your latest video and it really helped ... Tha ks ❤❤❤❤❤
Your videos are so helpful. Thank you!
This is one of the most related videos to me (which is dozens). Thanks, thanks thanks a lot Wenzes. This helped me figure out some things I have stuck with for weeks. Have the answers now and now I gain a lot more confidence to continue my steps.
Best luck to you and your family always. Love from Indonesia. ❤
Thanks!
Useful advice👍🏻
Way to go, Wenzes!!!
You’re the best man 🥲
Really great. Really helpful. Thank you🙏♥️
You should do work as a medium haha, spot on!
So helpful
Love it!!! Extremely relevant as usual 💜
SLEEP DEPRIVATION!😊 0:26
I love this channel!!!!!
Yes, my 🧠 exhausts me.
Question. Do you all have a hyperfocus mode?
I actually think this content is very applicable to the neurodivergent population; much more so than the cognitive INFJ.
5 REASONS INFJs RUN LOW ON ENERGY (& how they get reenergized)
1:18
Reason #1
Our physical setup
We're very cerebral beings
We spend more time in our mind than doing things in reality
You can't go after your vision when you rely on someone else to execute
You don't have to do all the things, you just have to do the right onezs
Stop comparing yourself to others and work with what you have
You have the power to hold on to your vision for a long time
4:10
Reason #2
Too Many People
You need to be away from people for a lnonger period of time
We Often overextend ourselves
Maintaining relationships is something that takes energy
Are there ways to minimize your contact with people?
5:44
Reason #3
Relational obligations
You put energy into others because you feel responsible for them
Are you doing it because it makes you feel good about yourself?
Are you doing it because it's easier to focus on others than yourself?
If you keep on giving, you won't have any energy left
You have to stop giving because the takers will never stop taking
When you have enough energy for yourself, then you can give to others
Push yourself into the other direction in order to find balance
9:03
Reason #4
We think there is
no other way out
You can improve your physicla energy
Physical energy management is very important for INFJs
The more abundance you have, the more energetic you will be
It doesn't seem much harder because I have much more energy
Maybe you need to work on your sleep
11:22
Reason #5
We're focused on maintaining
our current energy
It's okay of it requires more energy to make the switch
Making an effort one time for more energy in the long term is worth it.
Getting the result you want is worth the extra effort
I wonder whether there is a correlation between INFJ and the human design projector type.
It truly feels like waking up with a quarter tank instead of a full tank like others.
But of course the combo post traumatic stress some neurodivergence and lots of adhd traits are exhausting to have when not fully embraced and accepted, I mean whipping yourself into shape is met with such resistance because you basically reject large parts of yourself, which is an energy leak in its own right
Still not sure why I am fixed in the IN nature but the FJ-TP seems to flip flop? What's up with that? Not that I feel like 2 personalities (more like 'a symphony of selves') but it makes me doubt sometimes whether one is more mask/coping mechanism and the other is more the real me, then again, all parts are mine and therefor real ....? 🤔
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U do an awesome job, really but Can u improve pls ur way of speaking. More energy.
I am so grateful to have found you and your channel. I have been thinking for so long there’s something really wrong with me. You have so many videos on things that just explain how I’m feeling, and why, and what I can do about it. So many of my traumas have been due to having a personality type that neither my parents nor I really understood and I’m so grateful that you’re helping me unravel this. It’s so healing. Thank you.🥲
haarp, and goverment energy weapons targeted directly at you.
1 and #5 have always worked hand in hand for me. We INFJs don't have a super high energy level to begin with. And complicating it for me was the fact that I contracted the Epstein-Barr virus in my early twenties and lupus later on. Whether it was a cause and effect relationship, I'm not sure of but I have a hunch I'd contracted lupus even before realizing it. And while I was able to get work done, I realized after a while that it was harder on me than on a lot of other people.
The matter(s) of too many people, relational obligations, and not seeing a way out - well, believe me, I understood all too well. No wonder we focus so much on maintaining our current energy! 🥱
However, as you said, we can work things out and as a now senior citizen, I've learned how to pace myself in a way that fits me - I could write a book about that (hey, maybe I should🙂). We can think and plan things through so that we can conserve our energy and still interact with people in a way that won't drain our energy as fast.
Wenzes, you are a gem. Thank you.)🤍