Being an INFJ - What Is It And Why Does It Matter?
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- Опубликовано: 25 сен 2019
- Watch Part 2 of Being an INFJ here: • Being an INFJ Part 2: ...
In this video, I take a look at what it means to me to be an INFJ, which is one of the 16 personalities according to myers briggs. I like to take a bit of a different look at it than most people. How can I use it to better know myself? How I can use it to identify my weaknesses and grow?
Us INFJs looooove to research a topic once we become intrigued. We want all the knowledge!!
I'm currently stuck on the pyramids 😂
Yes 100% girl .... I feel like I want to know more and more and more I get excited about learning new things its like I can feel my brain opening new passage ways
Yes!
Definetly
YES. Won’t stop until I’m a subject matter expert on it!
We feel like Aliens most of the time... We get extremely excited when we find others that could possibly understand.
Agreed, nice to meet you Stephen.🙂
Awww hugs ♥️
I swear I have spent half of my life wondering when the mother-ship is going to come and take me home :) You are so right...
Yeaaaaaaaaaaa indeed
Absolutely!
As an INFJ, videos like this are comforting, to a point. I feel like I’m not alone for once. But, dang, where the heck are you guys in real life? How come I never meet any of you fellow INFJ’s?! It’s like we’re all perfectly spread out, never to meet each other!...
We’re probably all at home hiding.
I think alot of people dont know these things, one of my closest friends for25 years I didnt know she was also an infj until the last couple years.
I’m at home hiding I think we all are lol
most likely chillin at home listening to music and vibing alone 😂
I have only ever met ONE INFJ in person...she is my Niece (but lives on a different Continent currently). I've resorted to joining several FB groups for Empaths. We can write supportive messages and feel understood as a Tribe, but I do still long to find one near enough to hang out with. Any of you live on the Southern Coast of Spain???
What I have learn as an INFJ is to always trust your instinct. If something is off, it really is.
"It FEELS like I do a lot of thinking." Classic INFJ. I can relate.
Michael Warden I too😂😂
growing up without knowing such things also depleted my self-confidence in a way, i even got to the point that maybe i'm a dumbass and all. because it always takes me time to understand and explain something completely.
I'll be in my head.
Yo ....what lol I didn't even realize he said that but I was like BROOO me too
@Brandon Perry my wife: oh gosh, you're about to Google it?
Me: (looking for my phone) Yup. Lol
I'm an INFJ. I wish I could go to an INFJ Convention. I would love the amazing energy, authenticity, intellect, and conversations. & we would be able to spot any impostors who snuck in! Lol
probaly the most boring convention ever, I would probably start calling everyone out
I'm an INTJ, INFJ is the only personality type I feel connected to on several levels. INFJ people appeal to me the most.
I betcha almost half of them are either not or probably unsure if they are INFJ. It's difficult to determine if one is an INFJ because the real ones are so rare, not to mention we're a bunch of walking contradictions lmfao
Feel free to visit my infj tube
There'd be heaps of interlopers turning up to get free counseling
• Better writer than a speaker
• Creative
• Emotional so can understand other's
• Vision/Goal is the ultimate 🥏
• Possess knowledge on variety of thing's
• Intrigued by things that have value
And many more like thiz..
Yep
This is true
Exactly
Well said, and entirely too true for comfort lol
I'm 71 infj. What you are doing is very WORTHWHILE. It takes a lifetime to figure out what is happening in one's existence; to make sense of one's being.
Never loose faith in your value. Thank you.
I agree
My dad came to this country penniless. Worked at a factory 6 1/2 days a week. 16 hours a day. Raised three kids. Put me through grad school. He was an INFJ. Guess what. He didn’t have time or the energy to care he was. Anyone who has the time and luxury to dwell on their personality is guess what…a luxury.
Shout out to all the INFJs who watched till the end, read many of the comments and then Ghosted back to reality. i feel you here..
😂😂😂
Shout out to the one INFJ I know personally!! Hey Caleb fancy meeting you here.. lol
Caleb Waters 😂😂😂
didn't watch to the end!!
Nice to meet you Caleb! My name is Paul. I too watched all the way to the end. It explained me better than I can explain myself. Apparently we're a rare breed. which actually goes against the personality type we don't like to stick out, but we can handle it! Walking paradox.🙂
Infj's be like....."I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND, WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND!?" While in the process of explaining how you feel, you too find yourself understanding why they don't understand..... UNDERSTAND!?
Oh yes!!!! Every single time
Totally😅
You read my mind. It's mind blowing 🤯
I feel satisfied knowing someone was able to voice that perfectly without myself having to explain it in lamen's terms for people lacking in understanding. Thank you.
@@thanewright8432 the struggle is real....
I thought I was all alone in being the way that I am. I literally started crying when you started talking about friendships and how INFJ views friendships, because I was so happy/relieved that I'm not alone in this way of thinking/evaluating friendships. Always hearing from other people how weird you are, or people telling you that you're wrong for being the way you are (even from your own parents), but now finally having an explanation for why and seeing that you're not alone & it's not wrong (it's literally just the way that you are) is literally life changing. I don't even have the words... Thank you
I'm 69 years old. All my life, I felt that NOBODY ELSE is like me, The ENTIRE population of Earth is round holes but I'm a square peg, the stork dropped me off on the wrong planet, I have no place here. Several months ago, I stumbled onto this MBTI stuff. My jaw hit the floor when I found out that there are more of me. It feels validating, like I'm not alone in this world, that I'm not crazy - there are reasons that I am the way I am.
Cheer up remember you are not alone one day you'll find an infj aswell and I don't know be friends share life experiences but not all trust issues is a thing
Yes even from your own family as an INFJ I can totally identify
@johnstorton 69 is an awesome number for some reason. You’re awesome!
I feel that I relate to some of it but not all of it. I’m not sure what the heck I am? Lol
I’m an INFJ who married an INFJ. We’ve been together for over 7 years now and have travelled the world, built multiple businesses together, and have cultivated a life abundant in love, joy, and laughter. Life itself is challenging, but when you find the right person, every obstacle becomes an opportunity to grow and know yourself on a deeper level.
If you’re out there looking for that special person, remember first and foremost that the person you’re looking for is yourself. If you can’t love yourself unconditionally on every level, you will be unable to love someone else unconditionally and see the beauty in their imperfections.
Give me a job and leave me alone so I can do it!
fukin eh. like just get the hell out of my way and let me work hahaha
This so true for me
Cuz other people are distracting
Omfg...if this isn't true.
I just said that this morning.
*Question for you INFJs:* Does anyone else tend to unintentionally take things literally? Sometimes it's just a joke and it can take me a minute to realize the person is not being serious.
That was my question too for so long.
nah not really
I kind of perceive if it was a joke or not by body language and tone of speech. When they say we read people like a book, they're not lying (´･_･`).
@@catarinarodrigues3142 yeah depends on who is telling it. My kid is an INTJ and can appear kinda serious so I sometimes do not realize he is joking. :)
it's called sarcasm and that has two paths, i'm dark so i'd probably get it it...most would over try to over think it
“This is wrong. This is dirty.” I so get that feeling of inauthenticity. It feels like pain right in my stomach. Or a headache. I feel it physically. Great video. Thanks. As we all sit in our own spaces self analyzing and feeling less alone for now.
When you said "authenticity" is one of your core values, that absolutely resonated with me. I did a CBT session with my therapist a couple of years ago where we conducted a card sorting exercise, ranking different values from 'most important to me' to 'least important to me', and "authenticity" came out on top (out of around 30 values). I find it somewhat ironic though, because actually displaying authenticity is something I've struggled with immensely. I suppose this feeds into the whole INFJ 'people-pleasing' mode.
The irony of you questioning making the video is that INFJs innately want to “master” concepts before sharing
This! We have to stand behind something before we fully support/talk about it. That can make me feel like I’m not moving fast enough 🥺
Authenticity is SO RARE today.
haha! 'cause we are rare.
Gadda love the finer things with life like a warm bath or eating a slice of cheese while watching a good channel
Agree, most people this days are "fitting in" on what is trending.
Yeah me and my infp friend like to refer to those people as “sheep” 🐑
I usually can't sit and watch people explain INFJ personality types but I am easily able to listen to your video. I can immediately tell a fellow INFJ and it's like a breath of fresh air right now hearing someone explain all the things I'm going through right now. I truly wish there were INFJ support groups, especially for when we're in the grips of our shadow functions. Thank you for the content. 🙌
Let's start a support group ;)
It is a breathe of fresh air, I know what you mean.
I can also spot one
This entire 47 minutes 43 seconds duration was the first time I felt understood. From the thought processes and for all the characteristics you somehow put into words are too relatable. Thank you for this! As an INFJ, I'm really happy to know other INFJs truly exists and I'm even happier to know I'm not alone
I'm an INFJ and I wish I could have intelligent conversation with others
Sometimes ppl rephrase what i just said, or take the smallest part of what i said, & act like they made that up. Wow, did you come up w/ that on your own?
I dont really identify w/ lack of self identity, lack of awareness. I had to have all of that just to get by. But me being me, yeah no. Thats not how this works. First off, i cant even stand it when ppl think theyre gonna tell me what to do, or try to define me for me. I think im important. I dont think others are. Get mad
I totally agree with this.
Amen!! My husband is a narcissit.....he doesn't even know anything about me. My parents didn't either. We are kinda isolated because no one really is on our level. Our circle is 1 or 2 people and for me it was mainly family members...grandmother, etc.
Its a lonely life. People can take u wrong or get intimidated.....its lonely. God becomes your best friend since it was Him who gave us this gift!
I'm an ENFP and I wish I could have meaningful conversations with others.
Share whatsapp number....here is another INFJ
Does anybody else read the comments and laugh at all of them because they are soooo spot on and relatable? This is heaven. Lol😁
I wish we could meet each other in real life...
Yes yes yes!😅
It really is 😆♥️
I was just thinking this right before I read this comment 😂
Yepppp
“I need deep connections.” Heck yes, thank you for saying it. I wish there were more people who wanted to connect as deeply as I do…
Yes. Definitely deep connections are a must for me. If not, it's a waste of time and energy. Went to my religious meeting this week and the speaker started out with the definition of "shallow: materialistic, relations with fellow humans and his appreciation for spiritual values will suffer, too lazy to think deeply and gain attention by intelligent speaking." Then the question was asked, "Are You Shallow?" Unfortunately a lot of people are shallow. Hence Their issue with INFJs and their ignorance of differences in people.
I genuinely can't imagine how much guts and heart it takes to put an INFJ into a vulnerable position... You did it.
I also prefer authenticity even over loyalty. I want to know who’s around me. They can disagree, but don’t be inauthentic! It’s a dealbreaker.
This.
Yes! But then I think about how I adapt to each different person I interact with and I feel like a LIAR! 😰
Yes! Even if people are upset with me, I want to know and know why! I hate it when I can sense that someone doesn't like me or is mad at me, but they pretend nothing is wrong!
Seriously. Lol
“I can’t do something if I’m not being true to myself” ... 🤯 I say this to myself almost 5x per month. Quintessential INFJ self-speak.
I say this to myself every single minute 🤯
Facts
"I don't have room for anything in my life that is less than 100% authentic."
@@Itsunclegabby I'm having difficulty with someone I work with. The situation is very complicated but basically at this point I've door-slammed her even though we were once very close then got involved intimately for a couple months (which wasn't right for many reasons, and it's a regret of mine). Her friend has confided in me that this co-worker prefers when I am a certain way because she hates feeling like I don't want anything to do with her. I told her friend that I am unable to fake it around her at this point; I feel antipathy towards her despite not wanting to, and that is my authentic feeling. I can't force myself to play nice. I don't want anything to do with her, and looking at her triggers me. Why the hell should I do all the work to play nice? Authenticity and genuineness mean nothing to people these days.
INFJ-T here, I haven't even watched the whole video yet but what you said of how school gives you problems and you don't have enough time to soak it in is SO TRUE! Like for real, whenever I used to get an essay question I'd really have to think about it but once I start writing down the answer I feel unstoppable and get really good marks. It was always the timing that stressed me out tho :/
Lol. When said, “what process in my mind is answering questions even when I’m not thinking about anything...?” I laughed out loud in my kitchen, like same dude. It is curious to really consider this question. I honestly take this aspect of my cognition for granted, but you’re so right.
so i thought i was autistic, this makes more sense
SAME especially since i learned that autism has a wide spectrum and females tend to not be diagnosed until later in life....but now i know I make sense c:
Michelle sensory overload if present is definitely Austism spectrum because its brain wiring,
INFJ is personality, not unlike stemming from Narcissism by way of nurturing from childhood.
@@michellematsuoka1738 me too,when i heard together the words empath sensitive ,aform of autism, and then read the"wide spectrum" But then researched n i m not
I’ve been thinking we were at least borderline for years now.
@@ironmanproductions7944 Oh my gosh, I've had this thought too!! Am I an Autistic, Borderline, INFJ, Empath alien? WTF is wrong with me?
I always struggle when I'm asked something and expected to answer on the spot, I feel like I freeze, and it's NOT that I don't have a lot to say, but I really need to process the information carefully before I respond, I wish the world could just slow tf down sometimes, everything feels so chaotic and fast.
I know that feeling it haunts me daily
I research upcoming situations and pre plan my response: not 100% effective but at least I am confident in most situations
This is sooo me.
Time will increase that ability , but realise that retinance comes with it. People don't understand that there are many negatives for them coming with the truth of your reply. Learning to withdraw from that type of question. You want truth, they really don't want what you speak. Etc.
💯💯💯 and the extrovert types often force you into an immediate response. So frustrating.
I find myself using humor as a defense mechanism socially, like the nurse said I was the only person that was joking while experiencing a heart attack they had ever seen. So stress me and I become Robin Williams humor wise, I don’t do impressions.
Hahaha. I did that too when I got hit by a truck lol.
Bro I had an epiphany while watching this video. You reminded me of what's important and how to value my talents. I'm going to do what I love and the money will come. I was always so hard on myself that I forgot what I was good at 😭😭😭
Nobody:
Infj: “I feel like”
But this is soo generic... I JUST DON'T GET IT
Do you mean no one is an INFJ? It would logical to think, and feel so, since people's exposure to INFJ's are so limited, and when they meet one the person is either in an Extroverted state overall, at the time. When we go Introvert we disappear comppletly, but we always come back out looking like a full Extrovert. What I am trying to say is you don't see many, or see them often when you do. Best way to notice one, since we mirror others, is the "disappearing act"; which is usually pretty noticeable. At least in my teens, where you are trying to figure yourself out and balance out, it was very noticeable. Enough for every group I hung out in to call me " Houdini", or say something like "You pulled a Bruce, huh, Houdini". Bruce is my name by the way. Many groups, and most didn't know people from my other groups, so it wasn't linked, but reoccured all through every group my whole teens to young 20's. Lots go into Religious, Psychology, Medical, and Acting jobs. Jobs where you have brief exposure to them from time to time.
We kind of sound dumb for being so deeply logical and intuitive. Ha ha. I find it's one thing that makes people less scared of me. I always want others to reach their own conclusions also. But we sound dumb. SMH.
How I start half my sentences😂
Hahaha i just left a comment which began with those 3 words
"We want to make people feel good because that makes us feel good because we are absorbing their emotions." Holy hell, no wonder it's easier to be a loner. My feeling good depends on everyone else feeling good. I'll take nature any day.
Omggg that makes sooo much sense, I work tirelessly to maintain everyone’s emotional stability so I’m not in distress. I see it now.
Exactly.
I laughed at that last statement you made: "If you've made it this far then you're probably an INFJ." Lol
I really enjoyed the truths you shared about INFJs, especially authenticity over loyalty. Great insight! Thanks for sharing.
I always wondered why I couldn't engage people in small talks, but bring up questions about the mysteries of this life (philosophy), human behavior (psychology), God, science, world affairs, nature, etc... and I will surely poke my head out of my thoughts (with a smile) like "helloo, did you call my name? You deserve my time, let's talk." Lol
I felt so seen and heard in this video. For so long I wondered if there was something wrong with me or if im just "weak", but finally learning im and INFJ and learning what that means, it gave me a beautiful sense of being understood. Thank you
OMG yes... you learn to APPEAR extroverted.
TR Life YES!! I’m great at appearing outgoing and extroverted, but I’m really not. OMG I’m exhausted after being around people, and I’m reflecting confidence rather than having any authentic feelings of confidence!
Yeah, i do that also
YUP yup
agree
YES!
OMG, yes!! The INFJ door slam! I’ve been told so many times that I’m heartless because I shut people out when I’ve reached my limit with their behavior. I have no problem cutting people out of my life when they stop earning my trust, or failed to earn it. I feel like it’s that contradiction in some people that keeps me from trusting and forming relationships with people I thought I had made a connection with. So frustrating!
@Nina Sincheta lmaoo
I seriously just experienced this and I have another time in my life!! This video and these comments are blowing my mind!!
Ditto, Rabecca
Yup!
Yes ...for me I give everyone the benefit but 1 time is all it takes for me to vanish lol
I just want to say I love you all INFJs and I wish you a great happiness and successful life ! 😂☺️💗
Also, here is a game you can try my fellow INFJs if you're okay with it! It's game of analyzing! The title may seem a little complicated but it's simpler than you think, It's just a practice to understand you're level of analyzing as we INFJs can analyze but don't forget that we still have different thoughs ,habits and opinions as well as experiences! So your analyze shouldn't necessarily follow the other INFJs', It's just to try and control our ability to scan and analyze! So, how to do so? Simple, you only have to go for example to a bakery or a store or any place you like where you get to choose something out of other things, and try to choose what you think is better while explaining why you didn't choose the other ones, and it'll be fun!
Btw, sorry for my bad grammar 😂🤭💗
Wow! As an INFP, I could relate with so many aspects of your feelings, personality and the situations you've been through.
Some of the things you were talking I felt like I was talking with myself, because I lived almost the exact same things. Mainly the authenticity part and to be forced to make a choice between being authentic or loyal.
Great video!
The isolation that the pandemic has provided has been a haven, I can be alone in glory without the guilt of avoidance, and still be able to be supportive to others by texting, sending cards, just don't ask me to Zoom with you.
As long as you don't have to see your parents and your 2 siblings almost every day 😅
I am totally enjoying my quarantine.
That's me too 😁
Loving lockdown but missing hugs from family and friends.
Most underrated comment
It's somewhat amusing how I can watch his eyes dart about the room, and understand there's a thinking process going on in there. I swear, INFJ's have a universal way of talking and wording their sentences, sometimes sounding like we're going in circles but 'no no, we're getting to the conclusion, just wait!'
We can't fully describe our way of thought process through technical means, we have to give examples, hoping they make sense even if the examples are more like our feelings and/or experiences. Talking to an INFJ is like painting a picture where some see colours and shapes when we talk as though there is this journey we take and it's deep and a little confusing yet it makes sense to us. Videos like these help me understand myself - studying how I might sound from a listener's point of view. I know I'm not crazy because there are so many hidden INFJ treasures out there that think and feel exactly the same. And it's this subtle, silent intimacy we all share.
I made my first live video recently on Facebook, and I know exactly what you're talking about. I noticed instantly how this guy talks and thinks, and how it felt and looked so similar to my own mannerisms. Spot on!
Now you two make me feel like I should make a video and watch myself.
I often feel like I can't articulate well in any languages I speak.
I had thought for a long time that it was because of my language efficiency.
But I think it is just how INFJs think and express.
I feel like words can't express what is inside.
Well said Jess! I do exactly the same thing. It's sad when people lose interest before you get to the point, lol.
It would make sense If we're all using the same cognitive stack
I felt like I was watching and hearing myself in the way he talks, mannerisms, descriptions, trying to be technical and end up over-analyzing to the point where you become self-conscious, have so many thoughts going through your head but can't seem to get them out quick enough and in the thorough way that you want to. I drive myself crazy writing, talking, etc....
I just discovered that I am also an INFJ on 16 personalities test specifically an INFJ-A type and I relate so much to your experience and the challenges. I hated group projects or group work as a child because it was too much pressure, especially when you’re graded based on each other’s grades. I also hated anything competitive because I never signed up to be in a competition. I felt very different growing up and felt I had different needs and was misunderstood even by my family and parents. I had very strict Asian parents that were traditional in terms of religion and culture and they would not explain the reasoning behind things. They had a hard time understanding how I can make decisions based on my feelings and intuition rather than getting advice from others and kept thinking I would make a mistake and I would choose the wrong path. I grew up people pleasing to a certain extent up until college because it was the only way that I could survive without my parents being mad at me for no reason. I first learned that I was an introvert in college after reading Susan Cain’s book Quiet. I felt so relieved because there was an explanation for why the world didn’t make sense and why I didn’t fit into that world. and it explained why I had so much anxiety. Today, I am in a beautiful relationship, have a great career as a researcher and absolutely love it and have set boundaries with family. I also practice self care often and am driven by curiosity to learn rather than fear and danger. Great video!
I have known I am INFJ for a while and it's made complete sense to me. But hearing you describe it in your point of view opposed to the usual "signs of" resonated so deeply in me. You spoke on so many things that I feel so much and that I have never heard in other videos. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
"It FEELS like, I do a lot of thinking"
I used to think that my ordinary everyday ruminations, IE, thinking things over and interspersing them with oblique or random ideas were mere attempts at profitless woolgathering, but now I'm not so sure!
As an infj I have so many narcissistic people around me sucking the life from me, I am working on how to get rid of them for good.
I found in the past two years to be sensitive to your own boundries. If someone is stepping on your toes about your time and guilt tripping you; make space.
There's one narcissistic friend who is on the mild end of the spectrum and I like her company (for1 or 2 hours max) and she benefits because I taught her to meditate and I've encouraged her to look inside and face her loneliness that's eating everything away. People need you. You can help people and understand them in a safe way.
That sounds good, the last part. This life is for freedom :)
Yeah I agree boundaries are the key. You have to build the confidence to know when somebody is crossing the line.
Jac G yeh... me too!!! I’ve learned you have to remember you have an obligation to set your own boundaries. You owe it to yourself. We have to remember to take care of ourselves too!
Door slam them pricks
I just want to thank you. I just stumbled upon the reality that I am a card stock super high NFJ. The reason it’s important for me to understand more about this is to manage my own negative processing and perceptions while dealing with people in the external world. Your videos the first one I have come upon that isn’t just regurgitated text. Your personal explanations and insights are so valued and fantastic. Thank you so much you really handed me some golden keys today. That I will use to pass through some places that I’ve been severely stuck and suffering in.
When you said authenticity is one of the most important values for you it blew my mind. For me it is the same thing. I mentioned that so often and it is quite amazing to find out it is common for INFJs
I can literally see in his face, his body language and demeanor that he’s INFJ. I’m finally seeing how I come off to people
Pretty strange isn't it? It's like we're cut from the same cloth, but have different souls. Putting all of us into the same room would break the space time continuum me thinks
I was going to make the same comment! That’s another really good point that it’s so hard for an INFJ to not only not understand how they feel themselves, but we don’t know how we look or come off to other people either.
@@heatherdellosa9220 yes! So true like I don't care how I come off to other people but I'm always thinking about it because I don't really trust if the person genuinely likes me either
Anybody else have that wrinkled always thinking and analyzing line between their eyebrows like he has. Apparently it’s an infj thing
I was thinking the same thing... I exhibit the same behavior! Someone told me that people see me as an encyclopedia... thanks?!?!
We are purists. We have no hidden agenda.
I cant read myself
HAHAHAHA HELL YEA
I know an infj that seduces me mirroring me. He is excellent at saying what I want to hear. He doesn't know about personalities and I'm an infp. He looks so confident on the outside but he doubts himself in front of confident people.
I have no hidden agenda and I'm not infj
I think that's why people don't get us and think we are either stupid or very sneaky (able to hide our agenda which they think must be like theirs, ie. fucked up).
Authenticity is very important to me also. When I meet someone that I decide I want to get to know better, I always tell them to be their authentic self, to talk the way they talk, act the way they act, speak their mind, that their secrets are safe with me (they are), and don't hold anything back or worry about judgement, bc I don't shock or embarrass easily. Every person I've said this to says nobody has ever said that them. Their demeanor says they are pleased, but are already thinking I'm a little weird. I can't help it tho. It seems logical to me that it's the only way a relationship has any chance of growing and becoming real. It might even be a subconscious 'test', bc those that don't play along get the door-slam. I'm always cool with it, bc I don't click with too many ppl and don't expect to. I'm used to it. The last one loved it, got excited about it, and dove right in. He repeatedly told me how awesome it was, that he had never felt so free, heard, and understood. Said he had never met anybody like me, thought I was great, and had never had such a strong connection with another human being...blah blah blah.
Well, at 1st I totally believed him and was amazed at this stroke of good luck! We were inseparable and life was great. But then I started picking up on inconsistencies and insincerity. Then came his insecurities, low self esteem, selfishness, contradictions, lies, and hidden agendas.
Well, you guessed it...he turned out to be a run-of-mill, boring, transparent, narcissist. I put alot of time and effort into that relationship, just to be disappointed yet again. I had no choice...another quiet door-slam. This one actually bothered me...still does to a degree. I really liked him (or who he pretended to be anyway.)
Back to wondering if I will ever find somebody that gets it. I don't think I've ever met another true INFJ in real life. I absolutely hate wearing the mask, but it has to go back on until I find someone else that intrigues me enough to take that leap of faith again. Honestly, I'm thinking about giving up.
Back to talking about the weather. Ugh
Authenticity is as rare as an albino platypus.
Sometimes chatting about the weather is the best and uplifting part of someones day. They need folks who make life less harsh and a little lighter.
@@hulamei3117 Yes, I suppose that is true in alot of cases. I'm mostly happy to oblige.
"Completing DESTROY that argument".... Absolute LOVE IT....:) ....and " let me put my work to the SIDE and help you"....bbbbbooooiiiee....thx again ..... See You at Your DESTINY....... -Universe "Coach"
Spot on! My jaw dropped when you mentioned getting into relationships with a narcissistic personality. I wish I had known I was a INFJ sooner to avoid that chapter in my life.
I'm there right now. Just starting to sort through all of it. Any advice?
@@jenmurphy7777 Cut off all communication and ghost them. Don't answer their calls. Don't refer to them on social media. Nothing. Like they never existed. It's hard, I had to do it when I was in a very unhealthy 10+ year relationship, but I did it and you will be able to breathe again and find happiness, even if its alone. Just don't look back.
Angelle Glover : bingo!!!
Same here... Is there anything called MBTI personality sacred animal , then it has to be a Phoenix!
@@jenmurphy7777 the advice to ghost them is spot on. I was raised by a narcissist and my childhood was a nightmare. There two years since I went no contact with my parents have been the best two years of my life.
I've never felt so understood in my life holy shit
Geek!
Agreed. He's literally talking about my life almost ver batum.
I completely mirror your thoughts
I know! Same! I'm a bit in shock.
Shit is not holy. Only God is. If you're a real INFJ you'll appreciate that bit of wisdom.
My first time watching this channel. Wow, I really appreciate the authenticity. I just recently discovered I am INFJ. So much of your experiences resonate so perfectly. For starters, “authenticity” is of paramount importance to me. Last year, before I knew anything about INFJ, I was talking with my wife and kids and I suggested we have a family “word”, something we live by. That word I proposed was authenticity. Another, after ruminating on something, I will sometimes get this perfect clarity of understanding. So perfectly clear I can’t believe nobody else sees it. But then trying to explain it I start bumbling around. Why! I am fairly articulate but can’t explain something so clear to me!?! Anyway, thank you 🙏 you are helping people understand themselves.
Yooo you just explained my life especially the part where we take a while to think about a problem but then often arrive at one of the best solutions. And the fact that school expects us to answer a question instantly but we would take a while to answer the question. I think its because of the fact that we think through the problem throughly and seek out the "traps" in the problem and work around it and come to the best solution. And I don't know if its just me but sometimes I find those "traps" in the problem and would think to myself that others would fall for it, and when I ask others after, they reveal that they actually fell for the "trap".
"You probably really are an INFJ if you've made it this far..." And I want more! XD
How he talked was the way I always talk in my mind.
Yup
Same 😂
Same
Same
same
OMG! I’m an older woman old enough to be your mother and you taught me so much about myself that I needed to know but didn’t give myself time to do because I lived for others before myself. I am just beginning but I will get there.Thank you so much & Domo Arigato 😍🙏🏽😍
I wish I had u as my elder brother so we could talk for hours and never feel misunderstood. ❤ Thank u for sharing these. I am an INFJ, and I feel every word.
I don't know why people say INFJ is confusing. This makes perfect sense to me. "Says the INFJ" lol
I'm 64 years old. I only became aware of the MB Test and INFJ about 2 years ago. FINALLY hearing stories like this pulled that plug of pressure of thinking I was a loser and a freak. Now that I can listen to stories like this gives me the place that I KNOW I belong, I've found my herd. IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE! I also understand why I was attracted to a ultimate NARCISSIST and worked endlessly trying to make myself worthy. About 10 years ago I stopped playing into his game and I started to work on my own business, I became HUGELY successful and no longer gave into his whims. We had been together for 22 years. So then he DUMPED me. A few years later - I found out he only did it as an attempt to manipulate me to get me back in line - NEVER imagining that I would stay gone. But after about a year on my own - I discovered this INCREDIBLE person hidden inside myself that just exploded in every wonderful direction imaginable. I was - and still am - heartbroken that it didn't work out, but I'd never go back. All the same - ALL of these traits are still alive inside me that make me want to serve others. And I don't fight it too much, but I try to keep it on the healthy side for my own survival. But it's GREAT to be able to listen to you, Clay, and know that I'm not a sick, twisted mess - I'm just wired differently. And FINALLY understanding what it's all about - I LOVE BEING THE PERSON THAT i AM ! ! !
This made me tear up probably because I could feel how it must have felt to unplug your true identity after so many years. Wow! Good for you!
@@theserenecorner Thank you so very much for your kindness and understanding! It's hearing from people like yourself that inspires me to keep moving forward. All the very best you and thanks again for taking they time to read my thoughts and to take the time to reach out. People like you inspire me that I'm on the right path. THANK YOU ! ! !
Very beautiful thank for your perspective and experience
48 minutes of amazing content. I really felt as if I were talking to a friend. One that actually gets me, my thinking process, why I do and think the way I do. Thank you.
Wow I never heard of the INFJ door slam before! I just slammed the door on a 9 month relationship. I was helping her rebuild her home and she treated my poorly and I felt totally unappreciated and taken for granted. There were other issues too such as feeling disrespected and boundaries were being crossed. I took the pain for a while but then one night, BOOM! I had this moment of clarity. I knew I was leaving. I walked away calmly and cooly though. No drama. It did feel like I needed to protect myself. She was very surprised and still doesn't quite understand why I left. That gut feeling can't be ignored. Its so validating to understand how our minds work.
These are the most transparent and enlightening reflections about the INFJ type that I've seen up to now. Thank you.
🙏💖
Soooo good/extremely helpful ✨
Thank you so much
Me to
"It has to make sense," THIS!!!! Exactly!
If it doesn't make sense to me, I'm not doing it. That's gotten me in trouble with parents & even some jobs, I have no patience for "because I said so/that's the way it is" make it make sense if you want ME to do it.
Spoken like a true stubborn infj 😋
@Roxanne Daniel I HEAR YA’!!! ...and I’m also Aries...
Well, I may not fit after all. I don’t like to make waves, especially if you are my ‘leader’.
(If this makes no sense) we cant accept it why because it makes no sense.
The commen sense of others does not apply well with INFJ because it doesn't make sense.
this is an old video but i just want to thank you for this video because i’ve been doing a lot of research and i was so confused as to whether i was an infj or infp or intj but i felt like you truly got it and explained it so well which makes me feel like im an infj. im going through my “doorslam” phase because i was recently taken advantage of and i don’t trust people that much anymore and i really care about other people being authentic because i then become authentic myself as im feeling what other people feel all the time. i didn’t understand why i was feeling like this distrust with others and you really made sense of everything which i appreciate so much. i keep going to this dark place of how im becoming a horrible human being and i have been feeling very overwhelmed with researching more about infjs and trying to deal with the sensory world at the same time and this helped so much thank you
Through out this video I was like everything he is saying is spot on!!! When he said that he is jealous of this gen. I really understood him becz I just turned 19 and I'm feeling like what I would've known this earlier becz all my life I've felt this things and felt lonely and I'm like why do I think so much In high school I used to think why do I never fit in and i used to feel that there is problem in me. So I can not imagine what he went through. I can not express in words how much this video helped me to know myself and that I'm not alone and there are more people like me. It just shows you how we INFJs are we need knowledge we need proof we need logic and its fascinating how much we observe things and people. I understand why people think we're bit crazy becz we need to get deep into things. I can go on....!!!!! Thank You So Much Man for making this video!!!!!!
"When someone is telling me what to do, I can shut off pretty quick"
CHORES (even when I'm in a good mood)
Hahahaha 😂
"We don't really like culture"
😂😂 That hit me so hard. It's true. As awful as that sounds, it's true. I have an inner hippie wanting to run away from society and build a lifestyle block, but no that's wrong. I'm part of society and am part of improving it.
I always ask do people go to school, university, get an awesome job, settle down and start a nuclear family because they are simply told to? What do we really want? 40 hour work weeks? Or just flourish, cook good food, have dinner with good friends and create something beautiful? 🍇🍍👩🌾
Gummibear173 - exactly ! :-D
ha yeah, I think a lot of what people do is because they're told that's what they're supposed to do. Me included, and it's taken me a long time to have the confidence to admit I might not want to do a lot of that stuff actually.
That’s is so relatable. I’ve been wanting to runaway and start my own society of quirky, whimsical and unusual individuals who value their uniqueness and freedom but that’s just close to impossible to do😭
I recently found out I was an INFJ.. i wish I could of leaned about it sooner but hey, got the rest of my life to make the the most of it!
Jean Beatrice Andres me Too! U can put me on that list! 🥰
Omg!! The best assessment of an INFJ. Thank you so much, very candid and brave!
I seriously feel like you were explaining me and my life throughout the video. Thank you! It’s nice knowing I’m not alone.
Shit. This is all eerie asf. It’s like he is me. On the bright side, everything makes sense now. I make sense. THANKYOU.
You're not alone x) there are a few of us
broadbandtogod 💓
This. so much. I grew up thinking something was wrong with me because I was different, thought differently, processed things differently. Wasn't until college that I discovered the personality types and my entire childhood made sense.
Ghina Sheikh that’s exactly what I thought when I saw his video! Here I go down the rabbithole of INFJ research lol it’s so empowering! Love it 🥰
It was not until my relationship with a narcissist that I realised I was an INFJ. My ability to "read people like a book" proves to be my protective shield by acknowledging my own self worth. Thank you for this insight!
As INFJ i have lot of friends, still non I consider my friend 😂
Mee too
I don’t call them friends... I have a lot of acquaintances....
@@urbanmidwayelitevendors6440 exactly. For me, a friend is some one who I will know forever and can trust. Not the types to hang out with meaningless. I don't even want and give my number to certain people I know. I could hang out with them and everything, but nah, I don't want your number. Or let me put it like this: I don't want YOU to have MY number... or e-mail, or whatever.
I don’t have friends, I just know people. 😂
I wish I could find a friend like I have been to certain people only to be let down by them in some way. It's always been I give way more then I received, and I'm not referring to gifts. It's hard not to want to think that if you're putting in 50 that they could at least do their 50 it always ends up 90 me 10 them. Then resentment sits in and, I start to distance myself, till eventually it's nonexistent. The only way to really deal with it is not to except even 1% from anyone then I don't get so hurt and disappointed. Which is why I'm fine just doing my own thing.
So many flashbacks of memories, as you talk about your own experience adding your understanding and knowledge. Thanks for making these videos. They are total treasure!
I wish this video was endless, I truly enjoyed every second of it, I'm too an INFJ studying computer science (last year) and working as a programmer, I discovered the MBTI last year, and it really made me understand myself, and not put so much pressure on me to fit in, because I always felt I'm different and there is something wrong about me that I desperately tried to hide it from other people..
thank you for this video, and I hope people learn about the personality types early so they accept themselves and treat others better.
You know you are INFJ. Because you research INFJ and figure it out in so many sources. And we are so reflective.
Thanks for the authenticity you deliver.
It is validating my experience this far!
thanks for watching :)
Agreed. Nice to meet you. 🙂
You got me when you said "I guess my parents did the best they could do" and you didn't give any examples. I just felt you, right there. That's one thing that we really struggle with. Thanks for your video.
ha ha, the amount of times i remember my parents just looking at me with that puzzled look on their faces.. like is she for real?? who is this person?? but they definitely tried and went with it, which set me up for disappointment in the real world, lol. only sort of joking. :P
yea we only only let you know what we want you to know haha....ha
Most defffff
Yes. So much this. I went to therapy recently for help with anxious-preoccupied attachment issues, which typically are formed in early childhood by parental care being inconsistent or odd. After a few sessions, my therapist basically threw his hands up and was like "you were raised fine. I don't think the issues you have with relationships are related to your upbringing." Then I took the MBTI test and got INFJ-T, read and watched a bunch of stuff, and now I'm like...
....I get it. My parents have always said I was odd for a kid and they frequently thought of me as an "old man" in a child's body when I was young. I've always been ahead in school, ahead in so many things, but crappy at relationships and relating to people in general. I'm lucky to have some good friends but in general, I have a very difficult time associating with people unless it's just surface level stuff that I can fake my way through.
@@xnflg3074 wooooow me too. I also have anxious-preoccupied attachment and I’ve been wondering was it because my mum literally hugged me all the time, I know I was raised perfectly 🤣🤣 but I never connected my “shyness” as a kid could have been from being INFJ, like I loved playing with kids but I usually didn’t form deep bonds and was always worried about what others thought of me and tried to be nice to everyone, all the while eager to go home to go play by myself
I was thinking the same thing, how nice it would have been growing up and having a name for what I am, and an understanding of my cognitive functions. So much pain, misunderstanding, and feelings of isolation could have been avoided. I am much older, and so many years of damage to my self-esteem. Much of what I have learned about myself I had to figure out through trial and error , that's a lot of lessons. When I stumbled upon the INFJ groups, I was like OMG, and so much of everything made sense. Why I am the way I am, think the way I do, and that I am not alone or just weird.
Thank you for sharing this! I am so grateful you posted this because I have been feeling lost and it is so incredibly comforting to see I am not alone. I laughed out loud many times because I could relate so much; someone shaming me with something I disagree with and agree with. You described my actions and feelings perfectly! So many things! Thank you.
I can't work with others if they constantly talk.
Alex Morefield the worst
🤣🤣🤣
I work with a girl that talks constantly and to make things worse, she’s never actually saying anything. If I try to talk, she cuts me off to say what she needs to say. She does it to everyone and she never actually listens to what anyone has to say. It’s awful.
Yeah when people do that now i just say are you gunna keep fucking talking or are you going to let me speak?
True that!
As a fellow INFJ your dialogue was like listening to myself speaking :)
thanks for checking it out :)
Agree!
That's how u know you are one of them. We all need to talk. 🙂
Same here.
You said the perfect amount on everything! Now I understand myself better because everything you said was more me than I think I even knew about myself! Wow...I'm blown away. And somehow it made me realize I'm not alone in the world. Thank you so much you made me feel so relieved that i can, possibly, be understood by someone. Thank you, you beautiful soul! Sincerely, Charissa
This is beautiful! Thank you! As a fellow infj this resonates with me deeply. I’ve had the hardest time explaining my visions and concepts to people. I feel like as a musician I hear things others cannot. It’s isolating. But it’s my intuition.
Your speech patterns, your body language and the way you pause to think, and kind of look at the space as you try to form sentences, and obviously the things you're saying... it really feels like I'm looking at the male equivalent of myself, a sort of a mirror. It's weird, but I kinda appreciate it.
I do this all of the time! I just thought I was weird, which I'm fine with!
Same here, I love this video!
Me too! I feel like he and I would be a perfect couple but wonder is a intj my perfect match??
I literally just thought that, scrolled down and saw your comment. It's really uncanny, especially AS a male INFJ. I've watched a lot of INFJ videos over the years, but Clay is almost the only male RUclipsr that I believe is a real INFJ.
Yes. I can see my own speech
It is so surreal to watch this video and feel like I'm looking in a mirror.
Lmao right dude
You summed this up SO well. Thank you for making this video. All my life has been that scenario of wanting to be heard and seen, and to help others and have that help be valuable and validated.
Another thing that I feel us infjs do that you mentioned about is that sometimes we are able to see through the noise and put the puzzle pieces together towards a goal or solving a problem. And I don't know if its just me but when I tell other people the plan they just stare at me blankly and I realise that I have to piece the puzzle for them, for them to reach the goal because they may not have realised that "path" towards the goal or solving the problem.
INFJs are great at being second in command for a reason. We don’t want the pressure or attention of being first in command but we’re the person behind the scenes doing all the problem solving and supporting them in their lead role
I am an introvert in a sense that I like being alone. I like doing things alone. People have to drag me out of my house so I can go out. But when I'm out, I like to hang out with friends (3 people max) . more than that I start to get quiet again and feel drained. lol. I am very emotional and sensitive BUT I try to rationalize my feelings and I can control my emotions well. I'd rather shut you out completely than have a row with you. I'm not loud or aggressive but I am very assertive of my opinion. Growing up, I was the oddball. People still see me as weird. Not my actions, but the way I think.
Same. U have to really convince me to come out the house a lot of the time and I misunderstand what other people mean a lot. They look at me like wtf why would you think that and I tell them and they're like oh.. I guess I never thought of that
Wow exactly how I feel
Wow. Feel like you wrote that about me
People see me as weird too lol. Because I’m an introvert too but I’m an ISFP and have a crazily chatty online persona. And my art is literally art and books.
I just can’t stop writing fictional books.
@@prettypristinepoetry8984 that's nice. you should publish your stories. :) introverts unite. hehehre. good thing we're introverts during this stay at home policy.
"You're trying, you're trying, you're trying...and all of a sudden-----I'm outa here!!" OMG. I can relate!☆☆☆☆💋
Being 78, with much experience, outer there before anything is said. Always come awake 'instantly'. Eyes open, fully aware.
@@lawrencewillard6370 that is so true. I am 63. I see them coning lol.
I love the way you set up your videos, this one especially, feels like I’m actually sitting across from you in the same room. Even the way the focus slowly shifts in and out is reminiscent of the way I feel when I’m talking or listening to someone in real life lol. Sometimes I accidentally get lost in my own thoughts even though I’m listening when someone’s speaking, and that’s what the focus blur made me think of. Also the framing/setting is just rly nice and comfortable. I’m so glad I found your videos!
Perfectly explained. It's like we're the same core person so crazy!!! I just found this typology stuff now in my 40's and I can't believe how this has led to self acceptance for the first time in my life! You are the first person that I've listened to thus far that has explained being an INFJ perfectly. Thank you 🎉
Oh my gosh, yes! I now know that I am an INFJ. I was labeled as "shy" right through high school. I always felt different from everyone all the time as I grew up and I thought there was something wrong with me. I ended up with depression. I was so confused about everyone around me being so happy in this noisy world. They didn't get tired as quickly as I did around large groups of people or certain people. Knowing myself better now has helped me become soooo happy! I know what I need to do to be emotionally healthy at all times. I don't have to force myself to "fit in" as I was taught to do by my family and school experiences while I was growing up.
Was the depression over after or did it persisted ?
You don’t know what your MBTI is until you complete a legitimate Myers Briggs personality test.
I’ve always felt different. Even when I find a group of people I click well with and that love me, I still don’t feel like I fit in with them. And I always like to know the why of everything. When I was a kid and I got in trouble I always felt like I needed to explain why what I was doing was logical to me. Lol this was a fabulous find.
ha ha.. can relate. i always felt like i needed to explain to my dad why what he was doing was wrong lol. like yelling no get results dumb dumb. lol. reverse lectures. raising my parents. it was so divorced of emotion though. it took time to realize i can just say this affects me or i need this.. that didn't feel like an option growing up, it would have been 'selfish' but now i realize i need those type of more personal,vulnerable expression of boundaries to function.
OMG 😳 that was amazing to see...hear you pin point my character with accuracy. I'm so excited to watch part 2
I so appreciate how observant you are and how up-front, honest and authentic you are.
Everyone thinks, that I'm strong, but i feel so weak, so small, so nothing, when it's about myself. If it's about the others, i can explode to protect them from harmless.
It's like to be the biggest and the smallest at the same time.
To be INFJ.
the same the macro and the micro recognized and contained in the middle/median man. Lol mmmkay?
omg same
Omg that’s how i feel, glad there are same people ❤️
I always feel "the same"
That is extremely true!
Hell hath no fury like an interrupted INFJ.
I'm INFJ, Andi don't mind being interrupted. Now betrayed...
YES
🤣
True in so many ways😂 whether I’m talking,
arguing, working, studying, watching RUclips, etc. I hate being interrupted.
J EV funny, my RUclips name is, Girl, interrupted . Sometimes I need to be interrupted, however. I can get too immersed and have to be pulled away...
This explains a lot. To have come to this knowledge so late…better than never. It resonated so much with how life has gone so far and with what I’ve struggled with recently. That it makes sense now is comforting. The framework it has given me for moving forward is super helpful. Thank you.
Hey I made it to the end! Quite easily I might add. Your sitting on the couch made this video very conversational and I think that’s why I liked it so much to leave a comment. I felt like I was sitting in the same room with you and really enjoyed listening to you describe what it means to be an INFJ and your experiences. Got some very authentic vibes 👌🏻