16 Things to Know Before Dating an INFJ || Response

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  • Опубликовано: 12 май 2018
  • My response to and commentary on the article "16 Things to Know Before Dating an INFJ" by Koty Neelis from Thought Catalog.
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    Link to article: thoughtcatalog.com/koty-neeli...
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    #INFJ #MBTI #16Personalities

Комментарии • 3,3 тыс.

  • @FrankJames
    @FrankJames  5 лет назад +195

    🔴 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ ruclips.net/video/AwATt5_nXNM/видео.html ⭐

    • @YourWingmam
      @YourWingmam 5 лет назад +6

      Frank James I. Get. Youuuu. (Or is it you get me? 🤔)
      P.S. Just found your channel and have 10 (cough 20) of your videos saved to watch
      P.P.S. OMG is OCD and INFJ trait??
      (P.P.P.S. I felt the need to have 3 post scripts)

    • @tektonik7466
      @tektonik7466 5 лет назад

      Hey Frank loving your content. I know you play guitar as do i and i'm a big Prince fan and i can see you love the Beatles as do i seeing your Strawberry Fields analysis (however you're wrong George is the best Beatle). Just wondering if you knew much Prince and could give input on him as i think he is the most classic INFJ artist if you look into him and his lyrics and maybe not the persona he projects. Two for starters would be Condition of the Heart and Tambourine, (Beatlesish) there are many more but if you're not a fan then no worries.

    • @hungercat5070
      @hungercat5070 4 года назад

      I love your content, this falls all in place to me, hahaha.

    • @SV-xo3rt
      @SV-xo3rt 4 года назад +1

      What if it is not a gentle kick but a very strong kick or blow on our reality and feeling... I can not except it.... Because they do not want to talk about it for a very long time even if I ask for a million times and blow up suddenly into my face..... How am I supposed to process or except it and I know that person is not INFJ like me.....
      Saying that I am being selfish when I am trying to be nice even if I just want to be alone and not talk to anyone, ever them.... Still I am because I think I have to because that is what that makes them happy even if it makes me miserable.... That person is not making me feel comfortable and I am afraid to talk about it because it may hurt their feelings..... They think I am shutting them out just because I feel I need some time and I try to push it but I some time want to feel fine just to be okay and not pressured....... I feel very pressured.......

    • @nosaizekor8389
      @nosaizekor8389 4 года назад

      Frank James What if an infj partner had compassion towards mother nature creatures and someone who is adventurous and kind to animals someone who is well mannered

  • @korezine3854
    @korezine3854 6 лет назад +7186

    I'm always like, "I feel so lonely, I need a boyfriend" but then when somebody displays even the slightest bit of interest on me, I go full on philosophising if I really want a boyfriend, why I'm lonely, the root cause of my loneliness, if I only like the idea of love, that it's not the perfect time etc etc

    • @meri_ami
      @meri_ami 6 лет назад +266

      and then i remember that loving bts and yoongi is enough for me, then i shut down that person, and watch a bunch of bangtan videos, then i'll feel lonely again cuz probably i will never love a real person as much as i love them , and the cycle restart ( sorry i made it to a joke but it's partially true lol )

    • @korezine3854
      @korezine3854 6 лет назад +30

      meriem elf Ayeee I feel u sis! *sigh*

    • @meri_ami
      @meri_ami 6 лет назад +16

      zrcjin hehehe but still, loving them gives me life so, yeaah .. 💜
      actually i was watching your channel and it's soooo beautiful, i love it 💜💜💜💜

    • @simranlageju
      @simranlageju 6 лет назад +3

      ahahah so true

    • @JonasAnandaKristiansson
      @JonasAnandaKristiansson 6 лет назад +12

      Hahaha, that is so fucking me! :)

  • @JohnnyLaw-on2bn
    @JohnnyLaw-on2bn 6 лет назад +3004

    "Too weird to live, too rare to die."

    • @alexw2154
      @alexw2154 6 лет назад +93

      JohnnyLaw0516 Today I actually said I don't feel like I belong in this world, but... I'm still here.... so? Lol

    • @alFaCentauri16
      @alFaCentauri16 6 лет назад +77

      Alex W
      I always felt like I didn't belong to this word either... It's such a strange feeling.

    • @ImTheAllyDo
      @ImTheAllyDo 6 лет назад +10

      Fear and Loathing! One my fav quotes! LMAO! 😎 (My other one was the psychology of normal speeders... "This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you! He WILL follow!" 🤣

    • @anitadoraagocs6442
      @anitadoraagocs6442 5 лет назад +23

      "I am too big to hide, too tall to lie
      Too heavy to fly, too strange to die"

    • @vanityamesz
      @vanityamesz 5 лет назад +1

      Hahahahahhahaha

  • @ninjinczn5577
    @ninjinczn5577 3 года назад +719

    I don't like to be touchy or clingy with people. But deep down I know that I'm gon be super clingy with the person that I truly like.

  • @Fern635
    @Fern635 4 года назад +1344

    "We'll martyr ourselves for you, and then wonder why you don't give the same treatment back to us"
    I felt that so hard 😂😭

  • @audemoon3720
    @audemoon3720 4 года назад +2987

    Me an INFJ: Dont study people too much.
    also me : spends hours staying quiet and noticing every detail.

    • @MRSLALA77
      @MRSLALA77 4 года назад +9

      Audemoon yes. Sooooo true

    • @LazuliRose
      @LazuliRose 4 года назад +20

      Don't stay quiet its out biggest weakness and it is to become our biggest strength to tell all of our mind

    • @Aloeveraaaaaa
      @Aloeveraaaaaa 4 года назад +3

      I hate it ! Haha :’(

    • @jonahlevi3178
      @jonahlevi3178 4 года назад +7

      just be friendly and put yourself out there so people get an idea of what youre thinking

    • @morsillom12
      @morsillom12 4 года назад +2

      well...my person is attacked by this content.

  • @annievaconlon3234
    @annievaconlon3234 4 года назад +2749

    “INFJS have the potential to be very extroverted introverts” . I think about this all the time.

    • @bumbygrl
      @bumbygrl 4 года назад +222

      This is so true, and I love that description. My true self is extremely deeply introverted, but I have these moments where I can work a room, or have people thinking I'm bright and bubbly and outgoing.

    • @TheCoella
      @TheCoella 4 года назад +18

      homewithtina Yes! I'm glad I'm not the only one.😅

    • @viannapettis5011
      @viannapettis5011 4 года назад +28

      Yessss this stuck out to me too! I always have trouble answering the question of whether I’m introverted or extroverted. Lol!

    • @ashleyhunter2156
      @ashleyhunter2156 4 года назад +29

      im literally 49% E and 51% I

    • @annievaconlon3234
      @annievaconlon3234 4 года назад

      homewithtina me too!

  • @WillBlacksilver
    @WillBlacksilver 3 года назад +384

    As an INFJ, a scary thing about me(us?) is that I sometimes replay memories, (minority report style), find clues, pick up on things I didn't before...
    Out of no where...
    "WTF... that S.O.B!! So that's what he was trying to do!"

    • @karliannewhittington887
      @karliannewhittington887 2 года назад +6

      Lol yep! Me too ha ha

    • @cara.leo_
      @cara.leo_ 2 года назад +4

      Yes! Same

    • @marytickel6820
      @marytickel6820 2 года назад +3

      Word for word!

    • @merryg.7347
      @merryg.7347 Год назад +9

      I think Frank mentions that in one video. Is like we pay a lot of attention on the little cues of somebody'Ss non-verbal language, for example. Try to understand the meaning of every little detail and there's just so much information that we simply don't cover it all. But we want to, and our brain goes that direction. So we end up (always) finding new info to meditate about. And the torture never stops...

    • @jamlaw
      @jamlaw Год назад +3

      AhhhhhHahahaa yes omg. I scour the backlogs to see if I missed something when I feel awful or confused about a situation. I have to say, I'm thinking now maybe that makes it worse. 😆 Maybe better to trust the immediate intution or interpretation rather than add to it later.

  • @purplefairy9636
    @purplefairy9636 4 года назад +262

    INFJ: Always fascinated and trying best to make relationships
    Also INFJ: Being Left alone because they think that we are a weird

  • @sammysamangel8086
    @sammysamangel8086 5 лет назад +2360

    ‘We’re loyal and give you too many chances and then one day we’re just gone, you’re dead to us’ definition of my life...

    • @angelssoler4525
      @angelssoler4525 4 года назад +21

      Why this happen to us? :( Idk what's happening in my romantic life but I think I can't love someone longer is so sad:(

    • @SummeRain783
      @SummeRain783 4 года назад +30

      Makes me almost never want to get into a relationship 😭

    • @katrinalee5810
      @katrinalee5810 4 года назад +22

      Yes also as an INFP not J I gave too many chances in a extremely toxic marriage and in the end all of my youth is gone to someone who didn’t deserve my love. I’m just sad I didn’t leave earlier for my life and my children who also have life lasting trauma from it. Do I have a chance at a happy relationship in the future. I don’t know because I also think one minute how my very core person would love to love again but the next minute I think I will probably be happier alone.

    • @troytempest290
      @troytempest290 4 года назад +1

      Truth.

    • @meowcatlover783
      @meowcatlover783 4 года назад +1

      sammysamangel did this to my ex

  • @lechatlola
    @lechatlola 5 лет назад +1126

    INFJ here laughing at how accurate this is.

  • @kao6234
    @kao6234 4 года назад +574

    It's almost scary being an INFJ if you actually think about it, since we see so many patterns and small things that it's kind of hard to not see when a relationship is going downhill, and you just have to wait for it to happen because cutting someone off prematurely because of the possibility of getting hurt doesn't make sense to anyone else, and sometimes something small changes it all. It's like sitting in the same room as a time bomb that sometimes fixes itself just before the explosion

    • @sherrybeasley3904
      @sherrybeasley3904 3 года назад +21

      Exactly! The moment carefully chosen, the perfect moment, the opportunity presents itself and then you go BOOM! Very messy business, but rewarding outcomes. Ha ha ha!

    • @dezraz9868
      @dezraz9868 3 года назад +21

      Yup. I had to wait to break up with my ex bf, because I already knew it was gonna go downhill, it was torture and I don't want to deal with that again.

    • @Yianiz
      @Yianiz 2 года назад +9

      this is me now, I can feel my engagement going downhill but I am doing my best at waiting. Waiting for my fiance to give up so he won't get hurt so much and his relatives won't get hurt too by me. most of the times I say to myself I'm such a cold hearted b!+ch.. but I am also suffering everyday. I do hope that if it is really meant to end may the universe act on it fast. I'm so tiiired of tending someone else's emotions.

    • @kao6234
      @kao6234 2 года назад +4

      @@Yianiz im sorry that youre dealing with that :/ I don't know the situation, so I know this might not apply but just keep it in mind! Communication always makes it easier, even if it's really scary and draining. If you genuinely want to be with him, I think it's worth talking about and working out!! But if it's something that isn't working out for you, I hope it becomes much less of a burden to you soon. Lots of good luck and hugs

    • @link_team3855
      @link_team3855 2 года назад +2

      truthly, i can usually only ever get a decent guess at the very beginning. After that, i am very, very, lost. the small details i can find, putting them together, not really.

  • @rebeccasperring1747
    @rebeccasperring1747 3 года назад +174

    Frank: “you’re good at pretending to be normal”
    Me: yup. Totally normal.

    • @leagueofshadows
      @leagueofshadows 2 года назад +1

      Lol I just imagined Frank Grimes talking to Homer Simpson. "Yeah... perfectly normal here boyo" 😂😂😂🤣

    • @pinkymermaid9967
      @pinkymermaid9967 Месяц назад

      I sounded desperate to the person that was my friend-crush.

  • @rebeccastafford8487
    @rebeccastafford8487 6 лет назад +2364

    There should be support groups for single INFJ's...

    • @emina77
      @emina77 5 лет назад +10

      Maybe there’s on facebook?

    • @joshuawolfert439
      @joshuawolfert439 5 лет назад +94

      isn't that what this video is? feels good to be understood even though it's hard to explain. Frank is spot-on.

    • @John-ih7gp
      @John-ih7gp 5 лет назад +6

      @@emina77 We should make one!

    • @SchmeesCrotchFruit
      @SchmeesCrotchFruit 5 лет назад +23

      OMG! I laughed so hard in agreement!

    • @umairjaiswal5020
      @umairjaiswal5020 5 лет назад

      Yeah man

  • @arielc5007
    @arielc5007 6 лет назад +2127

    Bruh, ENTP here and you guys honestly scare me with your feels. It's a powerful and mystical thing that drives me crazy. I'm spending half my life in a dazed state because I don't know what the heck I'm feeling, and then one of you comes up to me, straightens me out, pats me on the head, and sticks a lollipop in my pocket that is the color of self awareness.

    • @bonezbaaaby
      @bonezbaaaby 6 лет назад +49

      Ariel C AHHHHHHH ENTP here as well. HAHAHA

    • @tessagee
      @tessagee 6 лет назад +51

      Lmfaooo i just heard this in my sisters voice (shes entp) love you guys!

    • @Eliszzyy
      @Eliszzyy 6 лет назад +15

      MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA this is awesome!!

    • @barbiejirickova9674
      @barbiejirickova9674 6 лет назад +24

      Sounds like something my boyfriend would say! x'D Love your comment!

    • @anamariak7757
      @anamariak7757 5 лет назад +32

      I have been told that by an ENTP!!!😂 he even said he was scared as well

  • @spiderdude2099
    @spiderdude2099 4 года назад +93

    As an INFJ, people revealing their life stories to me after knowing them for approximately 17 seconds is my kink...

  • @AnaLu07
    @AnaLu07 4 года назад +663

    I'm an INFJ and i'm a hopless romantic!!I imagine my future relationship as a movie,having deep feelings,getting flowers,kissing on the rain,talking for hours in a cafe...
    Is this an INFJ thing?

    • @stevienguyen2047
      @stevienguyen2047 4 года назад +135

      Not exclusively but I would say so. We romanticize everything and picture “love” really “cinematically”. At least I do.

    • @stefgoh6160
      @stefgoh6160 4 года назад +55

      & get v disappointed when it doesn’t pan out tt way in the end. The story of my life.

    • @itswickedsweet4409
      @itswickedsweet4409 3 года назад +27

      Yup, dealing with the difference between expectations and reality 😂

    • @biankaszilagyi9810
      @biankaszilagyi9810 3 года назад +3

      no.

    • @loveviakada8223
      @loveviakada8223 3 года назад +4

      For me yep!! 😩😩

  • @anaballadare9769
    @anaballadare9769 4 года назад +1443

    “So basically on our first date, we see 30 years into the future “ ☠️☠️☠️☠️omggggggggg meeeeeeee

    • @chiaramaffei3739
      @chiaramaffei3739 4 года назад +15

      LMAOOOO STOP PLS

    • @iamsofchik
      @iamsofchik 4 года назад +6

      Ugh so true

    • @mariareeves1343
      @mariareeves1343 4 года назад +53

      Like if you can’t see them in your future at all, why waste your time? If you do see them, it’s too quick too soon.

    • @amenyeeagel7936
      @amenyeeagel7936 4 года назад +4

      that is so me lol

    • @wafflecools5626
      @wafflecools5626 4 года назад +3

      Yes indeed.

  • @user-fw1bm8qg5y
    @user-fw1bm8qg5y 5 лет назад +550

    The problem being introverted that there is no polite way to saying "i love you but I'm tired to being with you right now". I want someone can share my entire life with who will leave me alone sometimes when i recharge my energy.

    • @nicoleashlee1740
      @nicoleashlee1740 4 года назад +40

      You'd be surprised that a fair amount of people take that well. My partner is an INTJ and we LOVE our alone time.
      I think the first step is educating people in your life about introversion. All my friends know I love them, and I get to a point where I need to not be around people. Anyone. They understand

    • @gabriellastauffer
      @gabriellastauffer 4 года назад +12

      i find great strength in wording my hangout rejections with friends. it ISNT rude to say “no thank you, i don’t want to go to starbucks” it’s just honesty. some people feel offended because they add “with you” at the end, but it’s not the case and over time people recognize the kindness within that.

    • @s.v.gadder1443
      @s.v.gadder1443 4 года назад +2

      right

    • @azraqonita1025
      @azraqonita1025 4 года назад +1

      s a m e

    • @SummeRain783
      @SummeRain783 4 года назад +2

      I know, I confuse so many people, even myself 😭

  • @jojolame699
    @jojolame699 3 года назад +62

    "We have a very sensitive BS detector"
    My BS detector: He ain't bullshitting

  • @jennaray4174
    @jennaray4174 4 года назад +143

    So...anyone get weary when your BS meter is pingin' and everyone else is like " wow.. you're harsh, you're negative, you're judgemental"!
    Then...boom!..it becomes apparent your intuition was spot on and the same people say "omg...who knew that person was so evil & manipulative??!".
    "Slowly raises hand* ✋
    -sigh-

    • @ashleysteele9385
      @ashleysteele9385 3 года назад +5

      Same same same. Recently had that feeling and I sooo hope I'm wrong. I do not want any harm done to my loved one. I just hope I'm mistaken

    • @tinaperez7393
      @tinaperez7393 3 года назад +6

      YES. I can spot a snake in the grass a mile away. But you gotta keep it to yourself and keep your powder dry. Unless someone asks who will genuinely listen or you can ask pointed questions to get others to come to the same conclusions / awareness.
      I also remind myself that my intuition is only intuition and can be wrong. So I keep an open mind, know my impressions are only impressions and might need more data and proof, etc etc. but I stay wary and alert. I guess the lesson is to know ones instincts could be incorrect but that doesn't mean we should dismiss them. Our b.s. detectors are very valuable. Stay open mind as is practical, but also stay alert, wary and don't forget what you've noticed and picked up on.
      I feel like INFJs are the detectives of the world and social situations.

    • @sherrybeasley3904
      @sherrybeasley3904 3 года назад

      Amen! Still waiting for my kids to WAKE THE F UP! I have been wearing the scapegoat label and the negative label for my whole life. But no more! Not now that I know what this fellow has exposed. I am so grateful to him!

    • @marenhumblebee2736
      @marenhumblebee2736 3 года назад +1

      Yeah nobody is ever going to thank you for having known better all along... story of my life

    • @sonofhibbs4425
      @sonofhibbs4425 2 года назад +1

      There are way too many times I could’ve stated “told you so!”, but chose not to say anything and be taken as that kind of an asshat. Even though I was right, I’m certain it would not have flown over well. I used to call it Brainy Smurf moments.

  • @summercupcakes6
    @summercupcakes6 4 года назад +2050

    finding these infj videos has made me feel so much less alone in the world i've always thought something was wrong with me because it seemed like i didnt process things like others around me did or was too anxious and cautious about talking and just seeing these explanations and how others are the same makes me feel so good

  • @asmaemansori5047
    @asmaemansori5047 5 лет назад +847

    I think that I have what I call " the busy syndrome " that makes me always feel busy and don't have time to be in a relationship even if I'm spending my days just sitting in a corner listening to music 😂😂

    • @khyati7733
      @khyati7733 4 года назад +3

      Sammmmeee

    • @amenyeeagel7936
      @amenyeeagel7936 4 года назад +6

      lol I like that name" the busy syndrome"😂

    • @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS
      @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS 4 года назад +8

      Oh my goodness, isn't doing nothing sitting in a corner the greatest! Laughing at myself.

    • @joanneenaje4800
      @joanneenaje4800 4 года назад

      Omg, same!

    • @brip799
      @brip799 4 года назад +30

      That makes sense to me lol We're busy in our heads all the time! I have lists to make, planning to do, figuring out the meaning of life and why I'm here HA

  • @ceemurray5626
    @ceemurray5626 3 года назад +255

    Note: Understand that an INFJ (female at least) wants someone to LEARN her as much as they want to LEARN you.
    This has always been a problem in my previous relationships. I'd spend all this time wanting to understand how their mind works, what their body language means, their tiny little cues, etc. I've never once met someone who have even half the cares or depth, which always ends up disappointing -_-

    • @NazarofGod
      @NazarofGod 2 года назад +20

      You just articulated what I went thru this week. A male friend made a silly comment and I spent the weekend analyzing how little he knew of me (in 5 months) to make such an insane implication about me. I blocked him without notice.
      But yeah, I was disappointed that he barely took time to learn about me just as I was learning about him.
      And that's what I desire, someone to learn me and understand me just as I do them (albeit they'll do it to lesser degree than my INFJ self)

    • @thatquietkid144
      @thatquietkid144 2 года назад +2

      Yeah, that's one of the reason why I ended my previous relationship lol.

    • @merryg.7347
      @merryg.7347 Год назад +2

      I feel u

    • @EMichaelBall
      @EMichaelBall 8 месяцев назад

      1. It’s difficult for a man to understand a woman to begin with. Donovan Sharpe and Greg Adams come closest, but they’re very cynical.
      2. Throw in INFJ characteristics in, and it becomes even more difficult. I’ve been studying infj channels a lot, and I’m not sure I’m at 100% speed (I’m an INTP), but I have some better understanding. But I also know that genetic, subconscious, hypergamous female nature runs underneath the INFJ consciousness stack. Fundamentally, we guys have to account for two distinct, opposite personalities that can come out at any time, including possible fits or irrational anger. With INFJ ladies, this duality gets even more polarized, and I’ve noticed that sigma INFJ’s can have a horrendous temper.
      3. TLDR: We can’t know who you are, because you don’t even _really_ know who you’ll be at a given moment.

    • @jey.bee_
      @jey.bee_ 7 месяцев назад

      omfg stop this is soo accurate. my boyfriend is bad at communicating his thoughts and feelings and it triggers me so much but i am always trying so hard to ask him things or describing him things in such a way that he understands and responds to me the way i expect him to but nah. it's exhausting tbh and i'm done asking him things in a fun or elaborative manner.

  • @amsaric
    @amsaric 4 года назад +50

    And this is why the ENFP is the INFJ’s perfect match because all of these points actually feel quite naturally complementary to me. They balance each other out in some areas and they’re both so invested and generous with their affection that they keep each other from getting burned out. The energy thing as well: ENFPs are often bubbly and uplifting, but interestingly are the most introverted of the extroverts and need to be alone to unwind. Man, the more I learn about INFJs, the more I see how an INFJ is exactly the kind of person I can easily fall in love with.

  • @OplulentCreator
    @OplulentCreator 6 лет назад +947

    INFJs are all about WORTH. Whether it's relationships or material possessions.
    Quality, never quantity, is the number one concern in our decision to invest our time, energy, or money.
    This is why we don't like to be pressured into superficial friendships/socializing.

    • @nureyamiller7914
      @nureyamiller7914 6 лет назад +25

      Thank you.... this is probably why I dropped out of my sorority, felt pressured to conform to something that meant nothing to me.

    • @Freespiritedqueen
      @Freespiritedqueen 5 лет назад +3

      @Sammie R..I love you guys, an ENFP! I am all about it worth and self-love too.

    • @melmittelsteadt7560
      @melmittelsteadt7560 5 лет назад +11

      superficial-ism is the WORST.

    • @rebekah1216
      @rebekah1216 5 лет назад +24

      Exacty! I got fired from both little caesars and slim chickens for make too "high quality pizzas and desserts" i cared too much about the customer recognizing my 5 star cheese pizza im a quarter of a star restaurant! LMFAO!-

    • @rebekah1216
      @rebekah1216 5 лет назад +2

      My bailbondsmen has since made me realize my worth... to the tune of $3,800.65.....a truly quality number, at that. Ha ha.

  • @LatIenws
    @LatIenws 5 лет назад +258

    We think we want to date... But then it's like wow wow wow hold up. Let me calculate our success rate.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  5 лет назад +45

      i know, right xD

    • @abdulmohrram3634
      @abdulmohrram3634 4 года назад +6

      Ahaha this one is jokes , to true XD

    • @meggiezee3
      @meggiezee3 3 года назад +15

      or we'll be in a relationship, and something slightly bad will happen and we'll calculate the success rate immediately, only to turn back to immediate never-ending love if something good happens with that relationship. ...or is this just me? lol.

  • @LadyFlorinaC
    @LadyFlorinaC 2 года назад +86

    I’m an INTJ engaged to an INFJ. We only dated 2 weekends and then we moved together! Since the first date we were talking about future, making plans, designing the ideal bathroom 🤷🏻‍♀️ and everything went according to the plan!
    INFJs are pure treasure!

    • @K9amilo90
      @K9amilo90 2 года назад +6

      wow so fast

    • @jerrimenard3092
      @jerrimenard3092 Год назад +4

      Now that is called U-Hauling.

    • @xloraline
      @xloraline 11 месяцев назад

      how is it now?

    • @LadyFlorinaC
      @LadyFlorinaC 11 месяцев назад +10

      @@xloraline 8 year relationship in February ☺️

    • @LadyFlorinaC
      @LadyFlorinaC 8 месяцев назад

      @@jerrimenard3092 that is called "Knowing what you want"

  • @lav3399
    @lav3399 4 года назад +29

    "we often imagine ourselves surrounded by really nice things in future" i-

  • @SuperTurtlebee
    @SuperTurtlebee 5 лет назад +853

    "Number 7: They'll always be able to pick up when you're lying or being deceptive."
    HELL YES. BUT SOMETIMES WE'LL IGNORE IT OR JUSTIFY IT IN OUR MIND, especially if we started really liking you.

    • @angelssoler4525
      @angelssoler4525 4 года назад +13

      I am not agree at all with this point because I'm too innocent and I always trust people

    • @stevienguyen2047
      @stevienguyen2047 4 года назад +19

      One time I had a conversation with a girl at work who has a huge crush on me, I could easily spot her lies (saying stuff just to agree) but I ignored them because I knew she liked me lol

    • @mxwitcher
      @mxwitcher 4 года назад +3

      @@stevienguyen2047 same, but with a boy (he even told me he have a serious mental disorder just to get through something when he lies, forgetting I study psycology) and I just justified it for weeks just because he likes me

    • @catstrawford
      @catstrawford 4 года назад +4

      Is it justifying it though, or is it more like understanding? If you guys are identifying the thought pattern of this person and their reasons for lying, but you can still objectively know they are lying, isn't that understanding vs justifying?
      ENFP.

    • @SuperTurtlebee
      @SuperTurtlebee 4 года назад +9

      @@catstrawford personally, it's justifying. Not all lies are understandable or acceptable. But we make an alibi out of it inside us.

  • @Aggiemcdee
    @Aggiemcdee 6 лет назад +989

    I'm an ENFP that has been in a relationship with an INFJ for 17 years!
    I watch your videos because I am endlessly fascinated by my husband and after all these years I am still learning and navigating the strange and deep waters of that type!
    I want to tell you INFJ's out there that are looking for a meaningful relationship that it's ok to be a little bit picky (but be patient and give people a chance to get to know you). There are people out there that will love and appreciate your uniqueness, and embrace all your weird and quirky ways.
    That introverted intuition is simply magnetic and the way you care and give so much of yourselves is not taken for granted. My INFJ is my rock and earthly guardian angel. We have our difficult times but we learn to communicate and forgive and fight on the same team.
    So my advice to you INFJ's is, find someone that will challenge you a bit (sometimes you need a little push out of your shells), but still accepts you for who you are at the end of the day. You are perfect the way you are!

    • @stevenbakos
      @stevenbakos 6 лет назад +16

      Aggiemcdee a million times yes to this!!! 👍🏻👍🏻

    • @alymaes7169
      @alymaes7169 6 лет назад +48

      Haha i am an INFJ dating an ENFP for nearly 6 years now! It is amazing how our opposites balance out. It was really rocky the first two years dating but noe it is the best thing i could ever hope for. Congrats on 17 years

    • @FreyaGem
      @FreyaGem 6 лет назад +16

      Beautiful statement and advice, thank you Aggiemcdee!

    • @Aggiemcdee
      @Aggiemcdee 6 лет назад +24

      getting introverts to open up seems to be my mission and passion in life :D Especially the intuitive types, it's very rewarding!

    • @joy8389
      @joy8389 6 лет назад +16

      I am an ENFP who’s is about to get back together with my ex who is an INFJ! I have so much hope for this relationship! We seem to be two sides to the same coin! I am also very fascinated and intrigued by her! I’m excited for the future!

  • @mothmaru
    @mothmaru 4 года назад +64

    When a guy has gained my trust enough, if I start to catch feelings and start seeing him as a potential partner, I drop itty bitty little hints that go unnoticed and proceed to silently stress and make myself sick for the next year about being too forward.

  • @princessjupita
    @princessjupita 3 года назад +77

    Infj here! Always was a late bloomer, had my first kiss at age 23 because as a young girl I always imagined it would happen with a certain atmosphere including me being under a starry night sky. Everytime there was a potential first kiss coming but not under my pictured setting, I blocked it at all costs, and never did anything to influence the setting to my taste, I just somehow believed it would magically happen. Eventually got my wish. My first kiss was outside during a breezy night, under a beautiful starry sky and all. Worth it? Yes! Now I have already pictured my first time on my wedding night, how I would be carried by my man, how it will all go down and some other tmi details. Guess who's still a 33 year old virgin lol.

    • @Elovexxx
      @Elovexxx 2 года назад +6

      That’s cool

    • @manarmeziani857
      @manarmeziani857 Год назад +2

      Sad tbh

    • @princessjupita
      @princessjupita Год назад +13

      @@manarmeziani857 to you maybe. To me, it's a beautiful life!

    • @pl1763
      @pl1763 6 месяцев назад

      I literally could have written this😊

    • @S4KuR4Ch4N
      @S4KuR4Ch4N 6 месяцев назад

      Omfg I think the same 😂😂😂 I also think of a kiss in a certain setting with a certain mood lol 😂😂😂 and I know when the other wants to kiss and want to prevent it if it's not the perfect setting I had imagined.... same for when I'll get proposed... kinda weird if you think about it 😂

  • @corinthians-L
    @corinthians-L 6 лет назад +146

    “...They are going to hide it for a while and the weirdness will come out of nowhere.” Lolll

    • @jasonliss3173
      @jasonliss3173 5 лет назад +1

      So me. In every relationship I've been in.. most the times though, shes already in love with me when it happens. Lol

  • @hollyjones3245
    @hollyjones3245 6 лет назад +444

    PDA is a way of drawing attention to yourself, which we hate!

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  6 лет назад +17

      Yup

    • @IM-vj9tb
      @IM-vj9tb 5 лет назад +20

      INFJ here and I enjoy pda because it allows my brain to actually enjoy the moment. And the love and empathy melts me.

    • @angel_cat
      @angel_cat 5 лет назад +8

      Ian McLaughlin You’re INFJ but you prefer PDA? Interesting! I would have thought it was more of an INFP thing. I’m INFP & sometimes think I might like the attention. But i later regret things i thought i’d enjoy attention for. I was looking at differences between INFP and INFJ, because recent tests put me into INFP but previously was also routed to INFJ. But I think i am an INFJ-wannabe. I like INFJs but I’m always scared that the few INFJ peeps that I like to be around don’t really like to be around me. INFJs are very aware of their environment and it is really nice.

    • @belindamarcou573
      @belindamarcou573 5 лет назад +4

      Amen! My bf whistles at me if he drops me off somewhere as I'm walking away, I physically cringe every time! Lol

    • @emilys5014
      @emilys5014 5 лет назад +8

      I only like it if it's like a place with very little people and only holding hands, hugging or quick kisses nothing too extra

  • @mini_camping
    @mini_camping 4 года назад +55

    it is so weird, I just recently discovered that I'm an INFJ and before that I've spent YEARS to get to know myself and understand my personality, questioning why I'm behaving the way i do sometimes and this dude describes me within 12 minutes. it is uncomfortably comforting how on point this video is

  • @GodsGadfly
    @GodsGadfly 4 года назад +45

    As a Catholic INFJ, I can see being a nun as a good vocation. 😊 Lots of time to meditate, highly planned life with a strong chance of the to-do list being done, with a strong purpose in accord with my beliefs.

    • @sonofhibbs4425
      @sonofhibbs4425 2 года назад +4

      Infj female here- almost became a nun…would have excelled at it except I couldn’t serve a corrupt hierarchy. Nope nope nope..would never work. Ideally, what you think is a nuns life sounds right up one’s alley, but seeing what you’re actually dealing with, it’s a whole different ballgame. The meditation time is dictated by someone else. It is not dictated by when you want or feel the need to meditate. High stress levels from superiors, especially if they want you to lie or cover up some sort of wrong-doing by higher-ups. You MUST obey, or get disciplined or kicked out. A good religious would speak out in a loving way, put their neck on the line. But that sort wouldn’t ever be admitted now a days or last long anyways.

    • @sophiagomez5619
      @sophiagomez5619 Год назад +5

      Sorry that’s been your experience, but I don’t think there’s corruption in every monastery. Leadership varies from place to place. But yeah it’s expected that your life is dictated by someone else. If you life in cloistered life that’s kinda what you sign up for.

    • @natashasharik2067
      @natashasharik2067 Год назад +2

      Orthodox Christian INFJ, have also considered the monastic life.

  • @aaronasmus284
    @aaronasmus284 5 лет назад +436

    Dude, that whole projecting into the future bit was right on. Sometimes I'm like wtf am i doing? All she did was smile at me and there is no way i should be imagining what type of a wedding she would like. Insane.

    • @VyNguyen-dp7we
      @VyNguyen-dp7we 4 года назад +33

      That's so cute though. Just our ways of figuring out people, making assumptions about them.

    • @yem1122
      @yem1122 3 года назад +18

      I do it all the time and I find it awkward 😭 it takes one deep meaningful conversation with me and I’ll start imagining our life together

    • @sarahw3055
      @sarahw3055 3 года назад +9

      First date and I’m already thinking.... okay lace or satin?

    • @andreamelissa2330
      @andreamelissa2330 3 года назад +1

      @@yem1122 Same

    • @andreeaursula
      @andreeaursula 2 года назад

      By doing that help to anticipate what type of person u and the girl are too

  • @ashleylynn5115
    @ashleylynn5115 4 года назад +340

    "the weirdness will come out of nowhere" I just snorted laughing. My fiance can attest to this.

    • @robhartshorn6823
      @robhartshorn6823 3 года назад +3

      Rotfl at this comment

    • @fayssal7655
      @fayssal7655 3 года назад +1

      What kind of weirdness?

    • @skullecho16
      @skullecho16 3 года назад +2

      @@fayssal7655 your natural self.

    • @bennybronco76
      @bennybronco76 3 года назад +1

      I don't like to say weird....but a "peculiar" people.

    • @omarra6781
      @omarra6781 2 года назад +1

      I laughed out loud at this because it's so true. At 54 I've given up trying to be "normal". I just flat out tell people ahead of time I'm an oddball. Some people really seem to enjoy it, though. I think because at this point in my life I'm not being forced to fit into spaces that don't work, with people that don't mesh, so I'm free to find others who appreciate my weirdness.

  • @htebazilemoon
    @htebazilemoon 4 года назад +170

    I’m INFJ and I love PDA. From my significant other. Actually, I just love affection in general from them. Everyone else don’t touch me.
    To clarify: holding hands, touching as we pass, hugs, forehead kisses, sweet meaningful kisses.. Not being fondled or made out with 😖 although, a random butt grab ever so often makes me blush in a good way lol 😳

    • @slavomiraschneidereit6762
      @slavomiraschneidereit6762 4 года назад +15

      Same, im so comfortable with my hubby and i have no problem to even cuddle in public (not in a weird way 😅) but ive always hated to touch (or be touched by) another ppl, even family members 😲

    • @noligirl1
      @noligirl1 4 года назад +15

      Me too. Nobody touch me please it feels like electric shock. Except one special guy. Love to hold babies tho.

    • @Artistic_CMR
      @Artistic_CMR 4 года назад +15

      I'm absolutely the same way as an INFJ. If it's the person I'm in love with, everything you wrote. Everyone else if they so much as tap my leg or shoulder to get my attention I've jumped and it feels like an electric shock. Even with my family I'm not very physically affectionate at all. At most I do the one armed hug. lol I don't even know why. I love my family...but it's different...somehow.

    • @peggyesterhuizen4207
      @peggyesterhuizen4207 4 года назад +4

      Yeah. Re PDA: I love doing it, but its understated and subtle like hooking my finger around his pinky; for me this is an expression of intense emotion and I can do it anywhere in front of anyone

    • @astoldbynickgerr
      @astoldbynickgerr 3 года назад

      I don’t think I could hold hands with someone in public 🙈

  • @BurnedTrashcan
    @BurnedTrashcan 4 года назад +21

    I think our disinterest in PDA comes from the fact that when we're affectionate we're giving all of our senses to that other person. Doing so in public takes away from us being able to watch/read everything else around us.

  • @meganpoff5555
    @meganpoff5555 4 года назад +364

    The first casual relationship I had, we ended up getting married! 🤣

    • @LillithElaina
      @LillithElaina 4 года назад +19

      Ahahahah that's awesome ! 😂

    • @silvergreylion
      @silvergreylion 4 года назад +2

      Heheh, Oops! 8)

    • @gulzoramirzaeva544
      @gulzoramirzaeva544 4 года назад +8

      That's so sweet

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 3 года назад +7

      That's not casual lol

    • @link_team3855
      @link_team3855 2 года назад +7

      ...Yeah. thats... oddly not surpriseing. Probably cause i've allways figured that when your LOOKING for love you will find it absolutely nowhere. Once you finally lost ALL hope of finding it, you find yourself in a void staring at that one person you used to be looking for. Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  • @evegreenification
    @evegreenification 6 лет назад +106

    “We’ll listen alright. Don’t take it for granted, man” exactly

  • @leonardo.olivet
    @leonardo.olivet 3 года назад +28

    "We've got this crazy good imaginations that are better than the real world wich is probably why you'll end up leaving us."
    I can relate to that. I've lost three intimate long term relationships because of that. I was even diagnosed with maladaptive daydreaming.

  • @CindyrellaOG
    @CindyrellaOG 4 года назад +73

    INFJ here and I just found you. Loveeee your videos 💕

  • @thatpiedpiper
    @thatpiedpiper 6 лет назад +368

    The whole us not being able to open up is so frustrating at times. I want people to understand me better but then I feel like I'm saying too much and then possibly creating a detrimental image of myself. And even so there's other reasons for holding back that I don't even understand. Even with close friends I'll hold back at times. Its very contradictive.

    • @itsgoodtobegood
      @itsgoodtobegood 6 лет назад +42

      Omg I so agree with you.. It's insanely frustrating. Just like you said, I want to open up, but when I do, I want to get all of that back afterward because to me it feels like it's still not what I wanted to express. It's like I can't catch the whole essence of myself to express to other people. And when I share little snippets, people don't get the entire picture and I can feel them getting the wrong idea about me

    • @thatpiedpiper
      @thatpiedpiper 6 лет назад +5

      Lana I You put it in much better words than I did. I feel you.

    • @macalab.3539
      @macalab.3539 6 лет назад

      I'm the same way

    • @RM-qq5rj
      @RM-qq5rj 6 лет назад +6

      me too. I recently opened up to someone after a looong time of not doing that and it sure backfired and they judged and rejected me and got the wrong idea about me apparently because i couldn't properly capture the essence of myself to show them. it's been a big mess. and I keep thinking they wouldn't even know any of this and be able to judge me based on it if I hadn't told them. they would have gone on thinking I was just like their original perception of me. I'm my own worst enemy. I had hope they'd understand or want to be around to learn more but I scared them off with the depth and complexity of my emotions and thoughts, I guess. too intense, too much for others. I'd rather be alone than keep going through this kind of stuff over and over again. it's too hard and too draining and just reconfirms my fears.

    • @WoahSoSa
      @WoahSoSa 6 лет назад +5

      I agree this is true I feel like we just have so much to say when we do open up it just doesn’t come out right. Sometimes certain words can’t even describe what we feel or think in the moment so it comes out wrong.

  • @Bochanable
    @Bochanable 5 лет назад +152

    I’m at the point in life that I am comfortable in my own skin FINALLY. So I need deep intimacy, intelligent conversations and emotional vibrancy. Without it, I will continue on my journey solo.

  • @ariadnarivas260
    @ariadnarivas260 4 года назад +11

    As an INFJ, I found this pretty accurate that's scary.

  • @winstonchurchill624
    @winstonchurchill624 4 года назад +11

    I can 100% relate to the thing about pretty much completely opening up to new people, but then being distant to people who I’ve known for a long time. To me I think about it as almost trying to keep up an image to people who I’ve known for a long time. This is why I struggle to open up with my friends about how I am extremely depressed and desperately need help.

  • @sugarwookiee
    @sugarwookiee 6 лет назад +197

    "The Door Fling Wide Open to a Stranger" is quite possibly the best thing I've ever heard. 😂
    I'm glad you addressed that because it's one area where I've felt like I was dichotomous. On one hand I don't tend to trust people very easily and keep a lot to myself. But then randomly I'll meet one person I click with and vomit the entire contents of my brain onto their lap. I haven't really seen any other INFJs mention this being a thing.

    • @JSluzewski
      @JSluzewski 4 года назад +12

      Totally agree! I feel like this could be a whole separate video and I thought it was just me (versus an INFJ thing)! I think we sometimes click with someone on such an energetic level that we act in a complete opposite way towards that person than we normally do with others (in terms of being really open immediately with one specific person). I’ve never been able to explain why!

    • @jenniemashburn8037
      @jenniemashburn8037 4 года назад +2

      YES! I have been so confused by this.

    • @JSluzewski
      @JSluzewski 4 года назад +2

      @@jenniemashburn8037 SAME! It doesn't make any sense.. hahah.

    • @nou8888
      @nou8888 4 года назад +7

      Yeah,. An infp and one of my close friends is an Infj. The first time I saw her, I just somehow knew I'd like her and we clicked and became friends almost immediately. Then the next day she called me crying and told me her whole life story. I didn't mind since I like listening to people and helping them, but it was a little overwhelming tbh. Also, sometimes I get scared you guys will hurt yourselves and never tell your friends because you don't want to "bother" them :/

    • @nou8888
      @nou8888 4 года назад +4

      Also, how come sometimes Infj hide everything, even from their best friends? Like, my best friend is and Infj(most of my friends are), but she never told me she was being hurt until years later. Kinda scared me tbh. All I want to do is help. Any advice?

  • @BigBabyBri
    @BigBabyBri 4 года назад +223

    “They sometimes forget to take care of themselves”
    Me an injf: packing because I move tomorrow, just got off of work, has a cold, has to go to other job in a hour, Eats one meal a day, and has not been able to wash my hair....I’ll get it together it’s fine lol

    • @michaelzell5905
      @michaelzell5905 4 года назад +40

      Too hungry to sleep, too tired to eat.

    • @sherrybeasley3904
      @sherrybeasley3904 3 года назад +6

      Oh, honey, I am 68 and am now just learning what I thought was wrong with me by other people's observations if NOT wrong with me but very right, thanks to this website! Please, please, invest in yourself! Take care of you! Down the road, way down the road, at my age, I am just learning the value of that and today strengthened my knowledge of myself so I can make better plans to care for myself. I live alone now and really enjoy my freedom! I paint!

    • @haleydoe2279
      @haleydoe2279 3 года назад +3

      It's 4am, I made 3 meals this evening:
      We're going vegan soon, I made vegan nachos. I took them out of the oven and realized I would need to make more food to feed 3 boys.
      I made sloppy Joe's and tater tots to help get rid of existing animal products. My youngest doesn't like Sloppy Joe's, so he had Mac and cheese.
      We binged the Mandalorian and I wrote 17 pages in my journal with a five page to do list.
      It is 4am and I'm finally eating a few biscuits I made for breakfast tomorrow morning. I was super hungry. I do this several times a week and do not even notice because "busy". My body is screaming.

    • @Limette454
      @Limette454 2 года назад

      Yeah, but that happens to me too, and I'm an Infp. And that "barely hanging on" often gives me an Adrenalin-rush. And I always thought that chaotic energy was an infp thing.

  • @fire.works.
    @fire.works. 2 года назад +9

    As a INFJ myself I've always felt weird but proud of being able to analyze someone in a split second. I honestly cannot imagine myself without being able to think the way I do, I use it so much to direct conversations, and to make the person I'm talking to feel as comfortable as possible. I've felt weird at times because whenever I explain my thought process I actually realize how intricate and how complicated my thought process is.
    Which is both cool and also makes my head hurt at times.

  • @RockBoBsteRMusic
    @RockBoBsteRMusic 9 месяцев назад +3

    People don't believe me when i say I can always tell when someone is lying.
    Even when I don't even understand why i think someone is lying. There is just a feeling there, and my brain goes over details over and over until it figures it out, sometimes even subconsciously.

  • @melissawalker4093
    @melissawalker4093 5 лет назад +63

    I am an ISTJ married to an INFJ. My husband is the most amazing man, I wish that he knew how amazing he is.

    • @bennybronco76
      @bennybronco76 3 года назад +3

      Make sure you tell him that and show it. It will go a long way. We often feel unappreciated. We will literally die to defend those we love and are close to us.

  • @xXRubella666Xx
    @xXRubella666Xx 6 лет назад +344

    YES, forever martyring myself and then becoming resentful when nobody does it for me. I don't understand it at all and it just makes me think they don't care for me the way I care for them, and then I get REALLY petty and decide to punish them by refusing to help at a time when they really need it. Which is stupid, because I don't even get any satisfaction out of it! I just end up suffering more because their plight bothers my Fe!!!

    • @blesskarmel
      @blesskarmel 5 лет назад +5

      Woa, so true for me too..

    • @arty9035
      @arty9035 5 лет назад +3

      I related to this comment so much.

    • @katiebrown7617
      @katiebrown7617 5 лет назад +3

      So relatable

    • @lalim499
      @lalim499 5 лет назад

      This is exactly what I go through at work everyday!

    • @Ryeuken
      @Ryeuken 5 лет назад

      TOO accurate!

  • @mercurymay39
    @mercurymay39 4 года назад +11

    "Good at pretending to be normal." I feel this so hard. Also everything else said in the video.

  • @PrishuDairy
    @PrishuDairy 4 года назад +4

    "They're gonna hide it for a while and then the weirdness will come out of nowhere suddenly." Lol relatable 🤣

  • @dyahrahayupradita80
    @dyahrahayupradita80 5 лет назад +88

    "yeah, we're very loyal. but that doesn't mean it to take advantage of them. jerk" SAY IT OUT LOUD TO PEOPLE AT THE BACK! 👏👏👏

    • @mirrorball1
      @mirrorball1 3 года назад +1

      say it loud so that my ex hears it

  • @kathrynemalfa3946
    @kathrynemalfa3946 6 лет назад +163

    One of the things I've realized, in dating, is that my intuition is usually spot on. I think the biggest reason for me, personally, that I've door slammed another person, is that Ive given someone the benefit of the doubt against my intuition and allowed myself to ignore a lie. Then, I become angry with myself and it becomes this entire inner turmoil, that results in blocked numbers and me never really explaining to them what they did to cause it all. I just disappear, for "no reason," in their eyes. In reality, it's usually a really large reason, that they're just not aware I have any idea about. Such is life.
    Dating is hard.

    • @vonnyrachelcaroline8565
      @vonnyrachelcaroline8565 6 лет назад +5

      Kathryne Malfa omg that's really me. I never thought anyone will do that

    • @FreyaGem
      @FreyaGem 6 лет назад +18

      UGH- how many times I have had people say that I pulled back for “no reason”- there is always a reason, and normally a series of them that leads up to the ultimate door slam. Even when I have used all the eloquence and clarity I can muster to explain to someone why I left or need to leave, they still don’t get it, and write it off as being for some other reason that’s more convenient for their worldview. Dating is, in a word, ridiculous. Most of the time.

    • @miravaldis2890
      @miravaldis2890 6 лет назад +8

      I have also experienced something similar. While I typically trust my intuition in my day-to-day life, I find it particularly difficult to trust my intuition in a romantic relationship context. For me, I think this is a result of being involved in an abusive romantic relationship where "gaslighting" was used quite frequently by ex. Essentially, I was manipulated enough to where I could not trust my intuition and I have since found it to be really hard to trust my intuition in these kind of contexts. However, being self aware is key. I've found it helpful to confide in friends when these conflicting emotions arise.

    • @991828374655
      @991828374655 6 лет назад +1

      So then why don't you explain this huge reason to the other person? Understanding would help both of you with the pain, I'd think.
      (Just happened to me with my ex best infj friend - refuses to give me at least a reason to help me grow (I'm an ENFP and would for sure be willing to change negative behaviour) and continues to live in her own self-defensive wold)
      I realize this may sound offending to you, I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention :D

    • @DiamondsRexpensive
      @DiamondsRexpensive 6 лет назад +2

      Good question, but do you know something? Most people don't want to change. Most people are content being themselves, so why should we bother?

  • @unknownsyllable1325
    @unknownsyllable1325 3 года назад +46

    As an INFJ, I broke up with my first boyfriend for the sole purpose of him wanting to keep our relationship a secret. I just don’t get the point if no one knows.

    • @zoraidacastro5403
      @zoraidacastro5403 2 года назад +2

      Narc

    • @elenachristian9860
      @elenachristian9860 2 года назад +26

      That's an extremely good reason for ANYONE to end a relationship.

    • @busubalang2361
      @busubalang2361 Год назад +1

      If he didn't tell any reason behind it then it was a right decision.

  • @archanatomachang7395
    @archanatomachang7395 Год назад +7

    "Go easy on me, love. My heart is fragile when it's you. And it has always been you(the one who breaks, rips my heart). You are my peace but you're also a war, my shelter also a storm, my light also a darkness.
    Love, I will be of the opinion that we will endure thru', together...
    "I have loved you and did not cheat you once; even in my thoughts..."
    Mr.INTP, don't make me regret, please!
    -Your's INFJ

  • @wintersstar5830
    @wintersstar5830 4 года назад +254

    I feel like I'm from another planet all the time. Like I wanna go home!

    • @jamuna8288
      @jamuna8288 4 года назад +4

      Xactly😂

    • @fifia4618
      @fifia4618 4 года назад +4

      lmaoo yess.

    • @zews9292
      @zews9292 4 года назад +25

      Let's just invade into a Swedish village near the forest and make our own country full of INFJs.
      Lmao, I can imagine us 24/7 examining each other like lizards.

    • @muhammedhatem9690
      @muhammedhatem9690 4 года назад +1

      But you're already in bed .. AT HOME

    • @TheUnknown-vg1zx
      @TheUnknown-vg1zx 4 года назад +1

      @@zews9292 Oh my God how the world would change

  • @justbelievelt21
    @justbelievelt21 5 лет назад +456

    Timestamps:
    1) @0:29 if you're looking for a temporary romance with them they wont even bother
    2) @1:15 they sometimes forget to take care of themselves
    3) @1:43 theyll always be thinking of the next fun date
    4)@2:46 ppl who like labels and designer things are offputting to INFJs
    5) @4:03 INFJs can be loyal to a fault/door slam
    6) @4:27 INFJs can be very strange ppl
    7) @4:58 they can always pick up on when you're lying or being deceptive
    8) @6:11 INFJs love to help ppl especially someone they're dating
    9) @6:26 sometimes it's hard for INFJs to open up
    10) @7:12 they dont enjoy PDA
    11) @7:43 never pressure them to socialize and make more friends
    12) @8:42 they are extremely future oriented especially in relationships
    13) @9:30 INFJs can be easily affected to the energy around them
    14) @10:02 they will rarely initiate anything
    15) @11:15 if it seems like they're off in a different world its because they are
    16) @11:32 theyll always be down to listen to what you have to say

  • @luzcille1274
    @luzcille1274 3 года назад +7

    "socialize more" ugh I can hear my parents. I super hate socializing especially with relatives. My most hated occasion is family reunion.

    • @mfme5715
      @mfme5715 3 года назад

      Same here it gets me anxious.
      -An ENTJ lol.

  • @ProbablyCancelledPod
    @ProbablyCancelledPod 4 года назад +45

    I found out 8 years ago that I score as an infj and I found it to be one of the most liberating things I've ever experienced. I love these communities where we can get together and feel NORMAL with other infj company. I also have many infj friends in real life which helps a lot, too. Thank you for creating this space. I think you do it very well and you are a gifted communicator/teacher (go figure). I also really enjoy the glimpses of your humor that you throw in at times. It reminds me of myself and it always makes me genuinely laugh. Thanks, Frank, for doing all of this research and making these videos for us.
    Ps, I know you did a book rec in another video so I wanted to give you another recommendation... it's called The Spell of the Sensuous. Maybe you've already read it. I found it really beautiful and inspiring.

    • @fifia4618
      @fifia4618 4 года назад +4

      right lmao. I was like why they hell am I like this and started thinking I had autism or something for a sec but now I know that I belong to the most legendary type I finally love myself and all my little quirks haha

    • @jamlaw
      @jamlaw Год назад

      @@fifia4618 yes! Was just watching videos last night about BPD and then started thinking...hmm it sounds a lot like INFJ though 😆

  • @vierblith4150
    @vierblith4150 6 лет назад +215

    The "door fling wide open" for me is a sign that I like someone. Because I don't open up to just anyone, if I opened up to a person, then that means I chose that person.
    And energyyyy. I get easily dragged by a person's energy, especially if I really liked that person because I'm usually hyperaware of the person.

    • @cheeseebun
      @cheeseebun 6 лет назад +2

      🙆 s a m e

    • @lorenren8100
      @lorenren8100 6 лет назад +8

      me too completely. it's always such a tragedy when the person I choose ends up disappointing or hurting me.

    • @CrescentCrystalRising
      @CrescentCrystalRising 6 лет назад

      So true! I've been going through this exact thing lately.

    • @sabbyjb7565
      @sabbyjb7565 5 лет назад

      " I chose that person" lol yaaassss!!!!

  • @gracevillanueva149
    @gracevillanueva149 5 лет назад +204

    'And then one day, we're gone. You're dead to us'. Wow. It is like you've been in my head 😂

    • @Faithandlove24
      @Faithandlove24 4 года назад +1

      This is definitely me..

    • @bidakimi
      @bidakimi 4 года назад +1

      True! I just don't know how to express to them that I'm done with you verbally but easier to cut them off and gone. 😂

    • @saying...
      @saying... 4 года назад +5

      Happens only when a person has been certified an asshole by our conscience. I don't like hurting people but I completely shut off the toxic ones.

    • @sherrybeasley3904
      @sherrybeasley3904 3 года назад

      @@saying... Three psychopathic husband all acted wonderful and in love with me and then the second you are alone with them, WHAMY! Don't like hurting folks but then the toxic ones have NO FEELINGS. I have had to wrap my head around that and it took me years. But now I understand and yes, all have been shut off!

  • @4snailssake
    @4snailssake 3 года назад +16

    im infp and i relate to a lot of these, not ones centered around extraverted feeling
    - the sensitive bs detector
    -imagining myself surrounded by nice things
    -long time to open up, or open up to a stranger
    -door slam
    -encouragement to socialize
    -projecting into future
    -can sense others feelings (not feel what you feel)
    -listen well to understand everything about you

    • @WynneL
      @WynneL Год назад +1

      Same! I do think there's a lot of overlap. Which makes sense, y'know; three out of four letters are the same, but still.

    • @4snailssake
      @4snailssake Год назад

      @@WynneL Definitely overlap! Thanks for bringing me back to this video! It's cool to see a window into my thoughts 2 years ago haha. I've found that I do have extraverted feeling around my boyfriend (all over the spectrum healthy and unhealthy emotional expression), but no one else. Maybe youve experienced something similar?

  • @idalvaro6309
    @idalvaro6309 4 года назад +61

    I feel the door swing wide open is because some of us are social scientists at heart. We try weird stuff and see the reaction in people.
    When we're done with the experiment, we kind of check the results. If people like it, is like a jackpot for us. If they don't, then we shell. And since we've the BS detector, it's very accurate and we know it.
    In my case, it happens when I'm in a good mood and feeling adventurous, perhaps my batteries are at full

    • @slavomiraschneidereit6762
      @slavomiraschneidereit6762 4 года назад +4

      Omg, I do the same! I am so curious about other ppls reaction. It shows me, who is actually thinking and who can react appropriatly or at least if they recognize what i am doing 🤩

    • @slavomiraschneidereit6762
      @slavomiraschneidereit6762 4 года назад +4

      But i also have to be in a good mood for it, another way, i just dont bother.

    • @itswickedsweet4409
      @itswickedsweet4409 3 года назад +1

      If I say something off the wall and they don't respond, I know they are not of my tribe. If they go along with the 'skit' I'm like, You're my best friend forever, forever, forever...

    • @jamlaw
      @jamlaw Год назад

      Oh so true!!

    • @jamlaw
      @jamlaw Год назад

      I have trouble when I get mixed results and im like bouncing back and forth from my shell, not sure if the person is worth it or I just need more time to assess. Anyone else get like this?

  • @Al3xM3dina
    @Al3xM3dina 5 лет назад +114

    “It’s a real treat, dating an INFJ.” 🥴😁😂. Amen!!!

    • @robhartshorn6823
      @robhartshorn6823 3 года назад

      I was laughing so hard at this.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂😄😄😄

  • @bassclefpaco
    @bassclefpaco 6 лет назад +406

    Dude, your videos are like the monologue in my head. It's surreal. I was laughing out loud at times during this video recalling some of these exact situations in my own life. What a mess... hahaha. Oh well. The videos are great!

    • @JohnnyLaw-on2bn
      @JohnnyLaw-on2bn 6 лет назад +18

      Brandon Johnson isn't it strange? I just stumbled on these the other day and most of the videos I'm laughing at the almost scary reflection of my life in what he's talking about. Very cool to not feel like you're a total basket case for once lol

    • @Tanagra180
      @Tanagra180 6 лет назад +1

      Ditto! Lots of LOLs.

    • @harrietpennington2944
      @harrietpennington2944 6 лет назад +2

      OMG, me too! Laughing out loud, GIDDY, in fact! My first time listening to this guy! I love him!

    • @nureyamiller7914
      @nureyamiller7914 6 лет назад +1

      SAME HAHAHA this is very comforting

    • @sharinimurugesan1406
      @sharinimurugesan1406 5 лет назад

      That’s exactly what im thinking right now.

  • @theotherkangaroo
    @theotherkangaroo 2 года назад +6

    An INFJ wife married to an ISTJ husband for over 30 years now. We were really fortunate to meet each other early in life to have time to deepen our connection. Having been through various stages in life & now learning about the MBTI, I appreciate that both what we have in common & how we complement each other works 😀

  • @ebonyjoyboss1070
    @ebonyjoyboss1070 4 года назад +31

    I love ❤️ this guy❣️
    I feel so understood ❣️
    He totally gets me 🤸🏾‍♂️❣️🤩

  • @savannafleeman542
    @savannafleeman542 6 лет назад +53

    People have always called me weird because I was never into the dating scene, if I sensed I couldn't connect deeply with a person I wouldn't bother

    • @ASJacob
      @ASJacob 5 лет назад +2

      I've been labeled as a player, and yet after all my break ups, I end upset and the person who leaves, ends up with someone else soon while I'm doing inner work and healing.
      It sucks being a hopeless romantic too. What a curse!
      I just got out of a "situation ship" with someone who told me that she'd destroy me if she couldn't have me. That really scared me and made me feel like an object!

    • @john_carter8243
      @john_carter8243 5 лет назад +1

      you are weird

    • @yvonned.5824
      @yvonned.5824 4 года назад

      Same, girl.

  • @seneca-3092
    @seneca-3092 5 лет назад +94

    “Perfectionist paralysis” I love that!

    • @stephanvillavicencio5679
      @stephanvillavicencio5679 4 года назад +6

      Ugh. One of the reasons people say "I'm slow" and have a hard time to get up in the morning. But if I run and pray in the morning, it helps me get up and be ready for anything!

    • @rawanx_x
      @rawanx_x 4 года назад +1

      Stephan Villavicencio I have the same problem as an INFP im literally paralyzed because I’m trying to do everything perfectly

    • @itswickedsweet4409
      @itswickedsweet4409 3 года назад

      Yesss

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 3 года назад

      Rules my liiifffeeee 😭

  • @MrBug-qp1zz
    @MrBug-qp1zz 3 года назад +2

    ENFP here,I love INFJs so much,they're the only type that can keep me grounded while I feel loved at the same time🥰

  • @bananabreadloaf
    @bananabreadloaf 3 года назад +5

    I don’t know about anyone else, but the reason I have done the door fling wide open and then become more closed off, is because I close off for fear of not being accepted, for being afraid I’ll lose that person if I keep that door so wide open, that they will look inside and run away screaming. I’ve alienated a few too many friends by opening up too much and then they leave. So for me closing back up isn’t a fear of commitment, but a fear of being too vulnerable and giving the other person a reason to reject me.

    • @bygraceonly182
      @bygraceonly182 3 года назад

      Amen to that. When someone says “we’re going to be best friends!” Part of me wants to say “Yay! OK!!!!” But I’ve been burned badly enough that my friend-o-meter is all out of wack. Too much... too little...? Ak!! Who knows 🤷‍♀️

  • @ktrkradio
    @ktrkradio 5 лет назад +103

    You are so dead on man..Laughing and laughing...Discovered I was an infj after taking test..Turning 50 in September damn I wished I would of known this in my twenties!

    • @bellesuot
      @bellesuot 4 года назад +2

      I’m 20 and I dont understand myself sometimes lol

    • @robertacarina
      @robertacarina 3 года назад +1

      @@bellesuot same at 25

    • @yuVal_2609
      @yuVal_2609 3 года назад +1

      I’ll be 18 in less then 2 weeks✨

    • @robhartshorn6823
      @robhartshorn6823 3 года назад +1

      I was laughing so hard through this, so true.

    • @ashleysheree2406
      @ashleysheree2406 3 года назад +1

      I’m 30 and wish I knew this sooner. It would have saved me so much time and energy.

  • @kiritik
    @kiritik 6 лет назад +162

    I used to idealize my love interests too much. Now I cannot stand anyone. I am in a phase that I don’t want to be intimate with anyone. As I got older It becomes very hard for me to get new people in my life.

    • @Ginger7024
      @Ginger7024 5 лет назад +2

      kiritik ditto....so many people are toxic to me....I have been the door mat....played the fool.....I am not a saint....had a colorful past-I think I am unusual for even one of us INFJs I was the smoker in high school hanging out with those on track for prison, but in AP classes....shit-I’m a female Lip from Shameless in the form of a female INFJ....🙄

    • @nilak.s617
      @nilak.s617 5 лет назад +2

      Story of my life.

    • @vl2663
      @vl2663 4 года назад

      RUclips Veterinarian i didn’t hang out with extremely bad influences in HS but for whatever reason I did always want to be a part of “that” crowd. However, my friend group then still had a bad influence on me as I began skipping classes a lot and ultimately had to go to summer school to make up for the year. Idk it’s weird but I think INFJ’s are fascinated by bad people lol. At least I am, I tend to be fascinated by those certain types of people who have that “no fucks given” mentality and they just seem so confident and do whatever they want. My best friend back then was introverted but she seemed to have a bit of that attitude which really made me admire her. Sadly her and most of my friend group turned out to be manipulative and narcissistic

    • @vl2663
      @vl2663 4 года назад

      Ginger Ann im an INFJ too and I feel that I am similar to you. It’s like I want to be bad even though I’m too emotional and high moral for me to be that lol. Idk if that’s how it is for you. But I usually become fascinated by those types of people who seem really confident and look like they don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of them. They usually tend to be troublesome though and when I’ve gotten in trouble in the past it’s usually because I was around those types of people lol

  • @Yab0yblue__
    @Yab0yblue__ 4 года назад +8

    It feels good to be understood. And knowing there are others out there just like me who are odd and quirky

  • @hannorhunt6070
    @hannorhunt6070 4 года назад +51

    My relationship as an infp with my infj friends be like:
    Me: I care for you
    Them: I CARE FOR YOU MORE
    Me: I LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU
    Them: I WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR YOU
    Me: I WOULD DIE FOR YOU FIRST
    *Both screaming*

  • @RegencyLady-ho2ik
    @RegencyLady-ho2ik 5 лет назад +171

    When it comes to a relationship I want a true bond and companionship and love, I don't want casual relationships or hook ups. I truly desire love and a life long relationship with the same person
    And I feel strange, I don't like alcohol, I don't like clubbing or parties. I am a novelist so I'm never not thinking about stories I'm coming up with.

    • @wintersstar5830
      @wintersstar5830 4 года назад +7

      You just described me. Very weird and accurate.

    • @MirkwoodCrow
      @MirkwoodCrow 4 года назад +5

      You are me, like seriously, these are exactly my thoughts and I'm just so lost and... Never had a boyfriend or even a first kiss with 22 because I feel like it has to be special

    • @korneliakaracs9816
      @korneliakaracs9816 4 года назад +1

      @@MirkwoodCrow As an INFJ, my advice is not to wait for long, or else you will remain alone. Which can be also nice, but...A single 38-yr old INFJ

    • @MirkwoodCrow
      @MirkwoodCrow 4 года назад +5

      @@korneliakaracs9816 That's a stupid advice. What should I do? Jump on the next guy I see on the street? Never read something so stupid. I want my partner to meet my high expectations. And if that's not possible, then I'd rather be alone forever

  • @dustinneathery9492
    @dustinneathery9492 5 лет назад +42

    It's surreal reading other INFJ comments :o
    I thought I was an anomaly...
    feels good to know *there are* people like me in this world

  • @peggyporter2135
    @peggyporter2135 4 года назад +6

    I needed to hear that bit about being loyal and abusing my good nature and always assuming I'll just keep on taking it until one day -- I don't. I was feeling a bit guilty about disappearing, but it's been five years now and I haven't known peaceful contentment before like this. Thank you. No more guilt on my part.

  • @OriolesPhillies
    @OriolesPhillies 4 года назад +2

    I have been watching your videos for a little while now. Thank you, Frank, for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights. You seem speaking for me. I have taken the MBTI test a few times over a course of 7+ years, just to minimize the effect of biases that can come with any self-report tests. Every time, the result said I was an INFJ. This makes sense - I grew up not feeling 'right' and that I was so different from others I couldn't relate to anyone around me. I got older and felt comfortable with myself, accepting that I will not be able to be a social butterfly and have been very judgmental and guarded. I've felt so overwhelmed when other people are around me and giving me 'bad vibes.' I sometimes just need to shut down completely because negative energy affects me so much. I know I have pushed away many people because I couldn't stand them and judged them so quickly. The part where you were discussing INFJ's fine-tuned BS-Detector resonated with me so strongly. That's the most common BS I find in others that has turned me off and sometimes made me angry, especially when the BS is in the words and actions of someone I trusted and respected deeply. It takes a lot for me to trust someone, and it feels like everything is falling apart when I see lies and dishonesty in them. It's hurtful - not only to others but to myself.

  • @jpinkerton0531
    @jpinkerton0531 6 лет назад +57

    I thought I was the only psycho that gets more distant as time goes on... what the hell IS THAT? There's kind of a freedom in recognizing personality type tendencies in ourselves. Reading more about my type, watching videos such as yours, and developing a deeper understanding of the things that I do is the first step in working on what I don't necessarily love.
    As a fellow INFJ, it's important to me to let you know your videos are helpful. The subtle hilarity is appreciated, too.

  • @shainakambo8999
    @shainakambo8999 6 лет назад +57

    Frank, you are awfully self-aware for someone who struggles with anxiety and esteem issues. Makes you think that self-awareness is just the first step/foundation vs. the solution.

  • @dianavogel4741
    @dianavogel4741 4 года назад +7

    watching this as an ENFP I think in falling in love with INFJs

  • @zsssolt152
    @zsssolt152 4 года назад

    I just stumbled upon this channel, and all I want to say, I am so grateful. I knew I'm and INFJ before, but I didn't really looked up what it really meant. I've always felt like an outcast, I had no girlfriend and only one or two of the good friend kind. In these videos you like talking about me, and giving me a blueprint of myself which I can relate. It's like seeing into a mirror of my heart. Thank you so much, now I fell more confident than ever, and I understand my relationships much more!

  • @clancyandruby
    @clancyandruby 4 года назад +52

    My twin sister and I are both INFJ's, and when we need to "recharge" but don't want to be alone, we have an anti-social social day together that involves very little talking and mostly just... being. I love anti-social social time; it's the best! 😊

    • @kristenfoster2271
      @kristenfoster2271 2 года назад +3

      I love the people in my life that I can spend alone together time with.

  • @ashamazon2262
    @ashamazon2262 6 лет назад +273

    I would add to the INFJ becomes more of a shell in a relationship if the other person doesn’t give a compelling reason for the INFJ to continue being open or doesn’t provide a sense of security/safety or share a vision of the future etc. I suppose those are all tall orders. Just my take!

  • @koveredincake
    @koveredincake 2 года назад +2

    This was beautiful. This response not only made me feel special but also pretty damn extraordinary. ❤️

  • @azsuehayes
    @azsuehayes 2 месяца назад

    I'm happy grandma on the Frank train, thank you! You absolutely nail this personality, I was typed and relate to it, especially you!! Blessings to you🙌🏼❤🤗

  • @katherinekelly6432
    @katherinekelly6432 6 лет назад +30

    Life touches to deeply for a INFJ to be casual about life experiences that touch deeply.

  • @michelletorres018
    @michelletorres018 5 лет назад +46

    It’s amazing how we are the most outgoing, loopy, adventurous and laidback relationship types ONCE a person passes our trust test. They don’t pay attention to our blunt, subtle or hidden secretive ways to reveal what we want and need, SO why share our authenticity? It’s no wonder others move on. They either obsessively love us, or, just aren’t into us- yet know we are very special and deserving. Meanwhile, we don’t show any response while they walk away. We can shrug 🤷‍♀️ our shoulders and say, “okay. Bye” and easily move on, which in turn pisses some off. They spiral into drama mode, to prove to others and themselves we were the cause, or the weird one...trying to get some type of reaction out of us to validate their delusions & lies. It’s definitely on my list of “something a guy should know before dating me. I will bow out gracefully and it will be as if I never existed.” Crickets 🦗 crickets 🦗

  • @smat7388
    @smat7388 4 года назад +5

    I’m a Leo and an INFJ-T. Ok, this is definitely me. It’s odd to me how accurate this is.

  • @sonofhibbs4425
    @sonofhibbs4425 2 года назад +1

    This was so spot on, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  • @texmom4697
    @texmom4697 6 лет назад +120

    When I first started hanging out here, I thought I was an INJF because I tested that way. But after super analyzing all of my functions, I’ve finally figured out that I’m an INFP. And I just want to say that INFJ or INFP, you are my people now and I just can’t quit you.

    • @FrankJames
      @FrankJames  6 лет назад +26

      Well I keep trying to get you to quit, but oh well.

    • @texmom4697
      @texmom4697 6 лет назад +7

      Frank James 😂

    • @wheresmymandala1967
      @wheresmymandala1967 6 лет назад +7

      Bec Wakefield, Frank James - There is *nothing* like an introverted sense of humor! Simply remarkable! 🙌

    • @hannekevisser416
      @hannekevisser416 6 лет назад +4

      Where’s My Mandala It’s a rare and beautiful thing. I think we should keep it to ourselves. hehe

    • @crshia
      @crshia 6 лет назад +8

      my brother's an INFP, and I'm INFJ. Whenever the world doesn't understand, I give him a call. Please don't quit us.

  • @cassia2399
    @cassia2399 6 лет назад +45

    "INFJ Door Fling Wide Open to a Stranger." Ha! I've done that. It goes without regret. That stranger can leave me. I don't care, we didn't have a connection. But I was able to speak my mind to someone without all the barriers I put in place for others who never break them down.

  • @joyceadlaw6807
    @joyceadlaw6807 10 месяцев назад +1

    I am INFJ and I want to why do we have a tendency to hold back when we are close to do something that is epic that blow everyone’s minds.