Actions: Attending to How Rejection Affects Your Actions

Attending to your actions is an important part of increasing your compassionate self-awareness, a skill that can help you overcome your sensitivity to rejection. Learn more by reading Bouncing Back from Rejection: Build the Resilience You Need to Get Back Up When Life Knocks You Down.
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Making change through compassionate self-awareness

[@sjacpswbs03162005]

I know it's unrealistic for people, but when I lash out I need people to fight against that to validate me for some reason. I need someone to say those feelings aren't true, but I need them to say it. I can't accept people giving up. I'm kind of at a loss really. I can never accept I'm wrong about these things myself (I've been proven too many times I'm right about people's feelings about me).

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

As you have no doubt found, needing others to respond in some particular way when you last out will repeatedly leave you disappointed or upset. An alternative that is more likely to help you feel better and have better relationships is to learn to change how you related to yourself (from I can't help it to I can learn to respond differently) and to others (from I need you to act this particular way to I can understand how what I'm doing affects you, understand your experience, and work with you to meet both of our needs). Learning to do this does take work and involves personal healing. My videos can give you some ideas about this work. You might also check out the compassionate self-awareness page of my website. drbecker-phelps.com/home/csa/

[@Waitukubuli]

Your videos and books are so helpful. Some of the best content on this subject. You are making a difference, Dr. B-P!

[@LeslieBeckerPhelpsPhD]

Thanks! I really appreciate you letting me know :)