the self awareness as far as what you wanted and what the other person needed was definitely self control. you told him you loved him but also knew that you didn’t want to overwhelm so you controlled the love you had . i find that admirable. some people only want to follow their own narrative but don’t realize 2 people are creating the story not just 1
“People get into relationships and they write the finish before they even really begin” So TRUE!!! We focus on social romantic goals rather than each-other and ultimately love never even has a chance to form much less survive.
I think the main reason why this worked is because you two were mature and approached the situation as such. Many of us don't put down boundaries and end up lowering our expectations because we know the person we are with won't pass the test. We fear disappointment. A beautiful story you have. 🙏💖
This was my thought the entire duration of the video. I tried a similar approach in my last "serious dating" and it only made the other person feel that I was either too dense or too cold. So I think one must be lucky to be able to be this sensible and express it with another person.
“People would always ask me ‘do you think you’re going to find somebody because what you do is so intimidating?’ And I always knew that for the right person, it wasn’t going to be intimidating: it was going to be alluring.” I work in 💲3️⃣✖️ Edutainment and have to remind myself of this often. Lots of successful women have this experience. Great reminder Shan. 💕
Same! My boyfriend/father of my son works as a videographer for boudoir/nude. At first it was confusing/weird but he taught me that work is work. Now I’ve become more open and comfortable in my sexuality. It’s a great feeling to not be judged by someone you love
i’m not done watching but i just have to say every time you and jared have a sit down conversation it is honestly so heartwarming and it inspires me. and i constantly think this is what i want to have such an honest transparent relationship. Beautiful.
Jared's explanation of how he admires your openness about sex made me cry. You're such a strong woman, he nailed it on the head. He was also very accurate and gentle explaining the other side of women and sexuality, the fear behind it almost. It was very appreciated and as someone who is on the fear side still, I could take all that in and heal from the words. He is doing a great job explaining sexuality in such a caring open way as you do. Your guys are great. MUCH Love.
The piece of your love story that I take for myself is the clear and honest expression of your needs, emotions, and boundaries. I really believe if I can apply that to every relationship, I’ll have an amazing love story of my own
this was very illuminating. it confirms my belief that i had been rushing intimacy and then panicking and then running away. now i'm trying to just go one step at a time and see how it feels, as you said.
This is my favorite video you’ve ever done. SO many important lessons about how to communicate, be on the same page, manage expectations, etc. that I feel like could prevent 99% of issues in relationships of any kind. So good!
I swear, these videos are so eye opening and I love it so much my heart is going to burst from happiness 😭😭😭 I crave honest communication like this so bad. People are so afraid of honesty
First dates are to qualify the other person, like do you want a relationship, do you want to get married, do you want kids - don't waste time with someone who doesn't want what you want - date with purpose and date multiple people!
This is the thing people don't get you date pretty much they get a feel for each other and learn about what each person desires. You learn pretty quickly if you're not compatible with most people in one date some people it takes multiple and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for going on multiple dates with multiple people, just because you're dating does not mean you owe that person anything. courtship and relationships are different. If you feel like they're not make sure you set that boundary from the start. Because you don't want to be in a courtship thinking you're with somebody exclusively and in their head they're like "I'm just talking to you." I feel like too many people make the mistake of not stating whether they want to see each other exclusively during the courtship phase or if they are still allowed to see their options.
@@avirei98 I told the person I was dating that I wanted to see him exclusively and he agreed to do the same. Apparently he was not 100% into it, since he stopped seeing me altogether 2 weeks later, out of the blue. So it's very important that the other party is honest (which I found difficult to understand at the time).
@@melissa-5670 yea I don’t understand why people can’t be upfront about that. people will be surprised on how far they’d go with that person and how much bs would be cut out of the situation if they just did that one simple thing
I love the fact of writing your own love story as you go. I am guilty of writing an ending before a beginning and obviously it fails everytime. So lessons learned
As an 18 y/o looking to start my life and philosophy on life on the right step I just need a list of every book you’ve read that led you to where you are mentally rn😂
This was the video I needed to see. That quote about healthy intimacy going one step at a time and NOT rushing to the finish line hit me. Something felt a bit off in my last relationship and now I realize it was because I felt like he loved me for the ending, not for the today. Affirms that I made the right choice in breaking it off. Thank you
I love that you two weren’t the “standard” couples goals, but in a way, you all paced and acknowledged your feels that made your relationship and friendship genuine. These examples are also needed, because I feel unconventional and yet trying not to put myself to this “finish line” whenever I date someone.
If you know you want a relationship, not necessarily with the person you're involved with, but you know that you are someone who is not emotionally equip to engage in casual relationships, what is wrong with communicating your intentions with people you begin to become involved with to make sure that you both want the same thing and attempt to protect yourself from people that want to manipulate you and engage in a solely casual relationship with you when they know that is not what you want?
I don’t believe that is what they meant. Some people (me🤫) rush through the first steps of a relationship because they focus on the end goal instead of taking that time to actually get to know their partner as they are now. By doing so, they might end up or stay in the wrong relationship because they have the potential to give us what they want. Yes it is important to be with someone who wants the same things as us in life, but that should not keep us from seeing and loving that person for who they really are.
Wow this video is probably one of the best videos I’ve ever seen on her channel it’s so inspirational and an eye-opener especially on how relationships are now a days I just want to say thank you!!
I always love how you present your videos! You and Jared are both so intelligent and introspective and your story is so unique. I wish you two the best, always! I always love listening to you speak because you’re so good at delivering your messages that even if someone doesn’t agree with you, they gotta at least respect it.
I feel like all relationships should communicate when something feels off, in an honest way. Wanting a person to be consistent and honest is fair. I think the right person listens and adjust as needed. Of course, no titles removes pressure, but their conversation was normal for couples.
If able but like ur page says habits Finding some cool channels and more conversing on yt then usually just watching but ya I half agree with ur points
More of this brilliant content, please! It gives so much depth and insight into relationships and love, and how they creatively form as we grow together with our partner.
Im glad i found this video, I always saw friends with benefits the opposite way Shan talks about it. My logic was, since we're not building towards anything whats the use of talking through stuff? But it does make a lot more sense to talk it out in any kind of relationship...
@Queen queen that may be true but fwb is very risky territory to be in the first place, most especially if you are dealing with men. To forgo communication in that space is to literally play with your life.
@Queen queen Me neither. That’s why I continue to follow Shan’s story because its actually quite amazing to see something so unlikely unfold. This video is actually my favorite so far, with Shan’s confrontation piece and their point on learning from others experiences in love being major gems. So I think it lends to their point that I would never try to recreate or hope for another scenario to achieve what theirs has.
@Queen queen yeah, thats the thing! We should be able to communicate our needs and if it cant be addresed by them, like Shan said, is best for us to part ways
I think you need to be clear and upfront with what you both want in a “Friend’s with benefits” relationship. If “talking through stuff” is not part of the agreement, you can’t expect the other party to want to “talk through stuff”. You cannot change the rules of the game in the middle of the game.
This a great What not to do as a woman in dating.. Ladies we deserve to be loved, cherished, valued and pursued consistently by men… If a man wants to be with you and loves you he will show it with actions and words.. and make you feel safe and certainty in your relationship. You will not find yourself working so hard to make a relationship work!
The part about people writing the ending of their story without being aware of what’s actually going on for them in the moment was very insightful. It’s also very confusing. How do you share some long term goals (wanting to get married, for example) and values with your fwb without making them feel like they have to want the same thing with you? How do you hit the balance between being very in the moment with them and also not compromising on your core values or desires?
A fwb has an expiration date. Once it goes on too long and you try to walk away, it creates so many problems bc the other person won't let go, so it turns into a train wreck.
@@avgwhitegurl6646 yeah, but not in the case of Shan and Jared. So you think they're not a typical fwb scenario or typical fwb couple? Is their communication (the texts) also not typical of fwb? Because the communication is what I liked the most here.
@@anelessel I'm not really sure they were fwb from their description, but more let's see where it goes. One or two months in they are saying I love you?? That's not fwb.
Oof that whole piece in confrontation being inevitable was 1. Enlightening and 2. A reality check with myself. Thanks for the amazing content as always 😄
I really appreciate this video. I’m currently navigating the friends with benefits/situationship space from detachment while also being aware of what I like and don’t like and communicating that.
This video made me realize that maybe I am in love with the future I have made up about my lover. Something felt off, but I didn't know what. We live in different countries so we don't see each other as often, so we decided to not put a label on our relationship. I am happy with this decision, however I do feel that sometimes I am controlling my feelings too, just because I feel that he doesn't let me love him, and that I do not have the right to feel certain things just because we're not in a committed relationship. I can't thank you enough for making this video, and also for talking about how different people will experience different things. With social media, it's hard to not try to accomplish what others have, especially when looking at romantic relationships. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that my romantic relationships do not have to be a copy of what I see around me. It's a struggle, but videos like these make me come closer to the acceptance and understanding that I need.
I can't find the right wording for this. But the way you and Jared create sponsored content is amazing. It never feels unnatural or "cheap" if that makes sense.
This is just an absolutely wonderful video that I needed very much. I've been in therapy for a little bit over a year now and my self awareness is growing steadily. Actually very rapidly and I've found out that I''m so scared of confrontations that I break down to just confront something of/with myself, my own self destructive behavior. In relationships this gets only worse since I'm a well trained mediator and avoid conflicts at all costs, the main cost being my sanity. As the conflicts I avoid play out in my head, I create my own versions of a person I supposedly love until I can't differentiate my illusions vs what's real. I look at other love stories or other people's opinions as solutions, not inspiration. I am all over the place, everywhere and anywhere except right here, with the person I supposedly want to commit to until the end of my days. Understanding myself is the first step, being able to express my needs and worries in a constructive manner is something I haven't had the guts to do for 27 years now. I'm still trying to grasp how confronting someone is just a way of communicating and that anger is a normal emotion that shouldn't be feared. And your video just gave me another boost to believe in myself and my growth in communicating. Thank you so much
I actually watched video earlier and spent a whole day doing other things but HAD to come back to say this. I loved the insight that you gave us with those text messages. Not that I EVER had a reason not to believe you, but seeing you demonstrate that same type of communication with Jared all those years ago really shows everrryone you really been practicing what your preach from time. It makes me excited that I can potentially do the same as I’ve been learning for you and Jared for years. Most love to You both
This is just an assumption but I think it worked because you're both securely attached?? Or you healed your attachment trauma. I think that makes a difference EVEN if the relationship is casual.
To me it’s sounds like she’s FA and he’s DA, I’m FA myself and I can relate to confrontation in head and blowing up in the end. And He’s DA, when mentioned about saying No to every major stage in their breakthrough, the inconsistent texts and etc. The difference here is healthy boundaries. They def became secure through setting them because It worked for the main their differences. Remember him saying conversational and not confrontational.
@@Akayemiix3 They healed their attachment issues through boundaries then. Normally unhealed FA and DA relationship would have crashed and burned and would not have this much clear communication
Thank you so much for this! This gives me more reason to self reflect and figure out how I move in relationships. Even the point of creating your own love story and not trying to create the ending but creating as you go! Man! Wooh! *SNAPS FOR ALL THE KIDS*
I think the reason this worked out is not because you called him out but because you made him feel good all the time. Even your " calling out" texts were very positive and made him feel great. You were so good at communicating.
I am late but I am SO happy to have found your page. The birth control video brought me here. I LOVE how open you are, you have truly inspired me today.
a relationship isn't the only "good" ending for a fwb. it just ending can be a good end too, if it's what suits the people involved more. friends too. and if someone starts to develop romantic feelings and not the other person, then there can be "good endings" as well. that's what so great about knowing how to know and manage your feelings (not repress them) & how to communicate.
SUCH a great vieo shan! i love that you guys bring a totally different perspective that we often forget about - bringing attention to the honest, raw, real experience that society often skews. thank you guys for having these great conversations and sharing valuable nuggets of wisdom :)
Hugs loves and many blessings too you and your Beautiful family ❤ Your baby is such a beautiful princess...I adore watching y'all and I also learn a lot from u..Thanks ShanBooty and hubby
I'm new ish here so I haven't seen your jubilee interview but I'm going to go watch that now and find out more about how you both met. My partner is transitioning & while we have been together for 7 years there is a lot that's changing emotionally so I've been trying to find more advice on relationship communication. This helped!
Im completely stuck between admiring the openness of your relationship and praying for that so much in my own life and nitpicking and looking for the faults in these kinds of conversations because I don't know how much of it might be real and the rest a mirage. Either way thank you for the view into a small spectrum of your love language and sustainability
I enjoyed this conversation so much. I can relate... and this gives me some language to communicate my boundaries and manage my expectations effectively.
I picked up so many gems from this video! Thank you for the amazing insight and transparency you two shared in this video! I had to watch a few times so I didn’t miss anything! You gave me an idea of how to present to my fwb (that may be going in a relationship direction) on how I don’t want to pressure him to text me if he’s too busy! This will help me as well so I’m not blowin up on him when I don’t hear from him!
the self awareness as far as what you wanted and what the other person needed was definitely self control. you told him you loved him but also knew that you didn’t want to overwhelm so you controlled the love you had . i find that admirable. some people only want to follow their own narrative but don’t realize 2 people are creating the story not just 1
Yes to all of this!
Viviana you said it WAYYYYYYYYY better and more concisely than we did. This is beautifully put thank you
no thank you! i’m just here listening and learning ❤️
Girl, you are wise.
@@vivianabbyx3 nah, you are contributing too, don't sell yourself and your skills short!
/some Scandinavian white guy
“People get into relationships and they write the finish before they even really begin”
So TRUE!!! We focus on social romantic goals rather than each-other and ultimately love never even has a chance to form much less survive.
THAT PART !!!
Meee!! Not so the social goals. Just not being present and always like “oh when we live together or when we get married” just always in the future
It’s the self awareness, emotional intelligence, communication, maturity, patience and vulnerability for me!
So apt!
This is how my future self!!!
The maturity in this video is LOUD. Love it.
completely random but we would love a house tour
I think the main reason why this worked is because you two were mature and approached the situation as such. Many of us don't put down boundaries and end up lowering our expectations because we know the person we are with won't pass the test. We fear disappointment. A beautiful story you have. 🙏💖
This was my thought the entire duration of the video.
I tried a similar approach in my last "serious dating" and it only made the other person feel that I was either too dense or too cold. So I think one must be lucky to be able to be this sensible and express it with another person.
Lmfaoo the screensaver is everything😂
“People would always ask me ‘do you think you’re going to find somebody because what you do is so intimidating?’ And I always knew that for the right person, it wasn’t going to be intimidating: it was going to be alluring.”
I work in 💲3️⃣✖️ Edutainment and have to remind myself of this often. Lots of successful women have this experience. Great reminder Shan. 💕
Same! My boyfriend/father of my son works as a videographer for boudoir/nude. At first it was confusing/weird but he taught me that work is work. Now I’ve become more open and comfortable in my sexuality. It’s a great feeling to not be judged by someone you love
Totally agree with Shan! The right person is coming. Wishing you the very best 💝
What did she work in before that involved a lot of sex ???
"Ppl get into relationships and write the finish before they even begin."
"Or they force a story line and force everything in the middle and with you, we wrote the story as we went."
Still watching but Shan GIRL! You look so goodddd, the hair is everything🔥
Stop messing wit my wife
you are both so emotionally and sexually intelligent i love that. really opens up my eyes to learn more about those types of things.
i’m not done watching but i just have to say every time you and jared have a sit down conversation it is honestly so heartwarming and it inspires me. and i constantly think this is what i want to have such an honest transparent relationship. Beautiful.
Jared's explanation of how he admires your openness about sex made me cry. You're such a strong woman, he nailed it on the head. He was also very accurate and gentle explaining the other side of women and sexuality, the fear behind it almost. It was very appreciated and as someone who is on the fear side still, I could take all that in and heal from the words. He is doing a great job explaining sexuality in such a caring open way as you do. Your guys are great. MUCH Love.
So why are you crying?
The piece of your love story that I take for myself is the clear and honest expression of your needs, emotions, and boundaries. I really believe if I can apply that to every relationship, I’ll have an amazing love story of my own
this was very illuminating. it confirms my belief that i had been rushing intimacy and then panicking and then running away. now i'm trying to just go one step at a time and see how it feels, as you said.
The way they communicate in a mature way is so refreshing. Sometimes it feels me and my SO a speak diff languages
ever since Shan had her kid, she's been extra funny. Having babies makes you funny, confirmed. have kids for the lol's 😂
🤣🤣 noted
She has always been funny and kinda mercurial
It's true in reality. That's why they day late pregnancy makes you younger....its simply bc of all the comedy
I was aware the circumstance of inconsistent reward would make me fall faster for you...
Such an insightful remark
This is my favorite video you’ve ever done. SO many important lessons about how to communicate, be on the same page, manage expectations, etc. that I feel like could prevent 99% of issues in relationships of any kind. So good!
I swear, these videos are so eye opening and I love it so much my heart is going to burst from happiness 😭😭😭 I crave honest communication like this so bad. People are so afraid of honesty
Yeah, especially the vast majority of men 🙄
@@nadinegomez8858 it's both sides.
U crave this type of thing then u gotta look for feminine Men and u gotta have the masculine energy she is exuding ,u will end up happily ever after!
If a guy wants to he makes time. Period
First dates are to qualify the other person, like do you want a relationship, do you want to get married, do you want kids - don't waste time with someone who doesn't want what you want - date with purpose and date multiple people!
This is the thing people don't get you date pretty much they get a feel for each other and learn about what each person desires. You learn pretty quickly if you're not compatible with most people in one date some people it takes multiple and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for going on multiple dates with multiple people, just because you're dating does not mean you owe that person anything.
courtship and relationships are different.
If you feel like they're not make sure you set that boundary from the start. Because you don't want to be in a courtship thinking you're with somebody exclusively and in their head they're like "I'm just talking to you." I feel like too many people make the mistake of not stating whether they want to see each other exclusively during the courtship phase or if they are still allowed to see their options.
Seems sensible, and yet I still can't wrap my mind around dating culture
@@avirei98 I told the person I was dating that I wanted to see him exclusively and he agreed to do the same. Apparently he was not 100% into it, since he stopped seeing me altogether 2 weeks later, out of the blue.
So it's very important that the other party is honest (which I found difficult to understand at the time).
@@melissa-5670 yea I don’t understand why people can’t be upfront about that. people will be surprised on how far they’d go with that person and how much bs would be cut out of the situation if they just did that one simple thing
@@melissa-5670 that human beings for you. Relationships are complex.
I love how open you are with eachother. These open and honest conversations you have had throughout your relationship is so raw and very admirable.
Removing the “fwb” and open relationships...I like her message...her message works the same for people not turned on with sharing...old mindsets!!!
I love the fact of writing your own love story as you go. I am guilty of writing an ending before a beginning and obviously it fails everytime. So lessons learned
This is a perfect example of two people who are of one heartbeat. That's how it feels listening to you two
Shan patting herself on the back - YES, Shan. Your communication seemed so on point!
As an 18 y/o looking to start my life and philosophy on life on the right step I just need a list of every book you’ve read that led you to where you are mentally rn😂
I just reached the end and heard the recommendations. I’m sold.
Time is what will teach you
This was the video I needed to see. That quote about healthy intimacy going one step at a time and NOT rushing to the finish line hit me. Something felt a bit off in my last relationship and now I realize it was because I felt like he loved me for the ending, not for the today. Affirms that I made the right choice in breaking it off. Thank you
Hey first call out message to him was so respectful and mature. Lovely couple honestly
This Whole conversation was Everything 😌
I was hollering at the screensaver lmaooooooo
Shan is an essay type girl lol I love it
such an intelligent and beautiful couple :’) happy main character energy x2! been taking little pieces of inspiration from your story for a while
I love how transparent you are about your life love you girl
Shanbooty your articulation and communication is so admirable.
I love when you two do videos like this ❤️🥰
I love that you two weren’t the “standard” couples goals, but in a way, you all paced and acknowledged your feels that made your relationship and friendship genuine. These examples are also needed, because I feel unconventional and yet trying not to put myself to this “finish line” whenever I date someone.
If you know you want a relationship, not necessarily with the person you're involved with, but you know that you are someone who is not emotionally equip to engage in casual relationships, what is wrong with communicating your intentions with people you begin to become involved with to make sure that you both want the same thing and attempt to protect yourself from people that want to manipulate you and engage in a solely casual relationship with you when they know that is not what you want?
I don’t believe that is what they meant. Some people (me🤫) rush through the first steps of a relationship because they focus on the end goal instead of taking that time to actually get to know their partner as they are now. By doing so, they might end up or stay in the wrong relationship because they have the potential to give us what they want. Yes it is important to be with someone who wants the same things as us in life, but that should not keep us from seeing and loving that person for who they really are.
I learned a lot about myself through this conversation. Thanks to you for being so open, honest and transparent.
Wow this video is probably one of the best videos I’ve ever seen on her channel it’s so inspirational and an eye-opener especially on how relationships are now a days I just want to say thank you!!
I always love how you present your videos! You and Jared are both so intelligent and introspective and your story is so unique. I wish you two the best, always! I always love listening to you speak because you’re so good at delivering your messages that even if someone doesn’t agree with you, they gotta at least respect it.
I feel like all relationships should communicate when something feels off, in an honest way. Wanting a person to be consistent and honest is fair. I think the right person listens and adjust as needed. Of course, no titles removes pressure, but their conversation was normal for couples.
If able but like ur page says habits
Finding some cool channels and more conversing on yt then usually just watching but ya I half agree with ur points
Lol to the screensaver! 🤣
I love both of you guys being open before and still at this point. Thank you for others. 🤗❤️
More of this brilliant content, please! It gives so much depth and insight into relationships and love, and how they creatively form as we grow together with our partner.
This open dialogue is dope! Relationship goals. 🗣
Im glad i found this video, I always saw friends with benefits the opposite way Shan talks about it. My logic was, since we're not building towards anything whats the use of talking through stuff? But it does make a lot more sense to talk it out in any kind of relationship...
@Queen queen that may be true but fwb is very risky territory to be in the first place, most especially if you are dealing with men. To forgo communication in that space is to literally play with your life.
@Queen queen Me neither. That’s why I continue to follow Shan’s story because its actually quite amazing to see something so unlikely unfold. This video is actually my favorite so far, with Shan’s confrontation piece and their point on learning from others experiences in love being major gems. So I think it lends to their point that I would never try to recreate or hope for another scenario to achieve what theirs has.
@Queen queen yeah, thats the thing! We should be able to communicate our needs and if it cant be addresed by them, like Shan said, is best for us to part ways
You know, instead of us putting up with men's behaviour
I think you need to be clear and upfront with what you both want in a “Friend’s with benefits” relationship. If “talking through stuff” is not part of the agreement, you can’t expect the other party to want to “talk through stuff”. You cannot change the rules of the game in the middle of the game.
This a great What not to do as a woman in dating.. Ladies we deserve to be loved, cherished, valued and pursued consistently by men…
If a man wants to be with you and loves you he will show it with actions and words.. and make you feel safe and certainty in your relationship. You will not find yourself working so hard to make a relationship work!
Working hard is a bad sign........
The awareness but also transparency here is everything
I'm happy to have a positive and healthy relathionship to learn from
I’m a fan of both of you ! The communication between you 2 since day 1 is something to take notes from !
The part about people writing the ending of their story without being aware of what’s actually going on for them in the moment was very insightful. It’s also very confusing. How do you share some long term goals (wanting to get married, for example) and values with your fwb without making them feel like they have to want the same thing with you? How do you hit the balance between being very in the moment with them and also not compromising on your core values or desires?
I had the same question
A fwb has an expiration date. Once it goes on too long and you try to walk away, it creates so many problems bc the other person won't let go, so it turns into a train wreck.
Such a great question...
@@avgwhitegurl6646 yeah, but not in the case of Shan and Jared. So you think they're not a typical fwb scenario or typical fwb couple? Is their communication (the texts) also not typical of fwb? Because the communication is what I liked the most here.
@@anelessel I'm not really sure they were fwb from their description, but more let's see where it goes. One or two months in they are saying I love you?? That's not fwb.
I love you guys REAL ASS conversations, they are very helpful and informative. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 💪🏽❤️☺️
Oof that whole piece in confrontation being inevitable was 1. Enlightening and 2. A reality check with myself. Thanks for the amazing content as always 😄
Y'all so grown!! Blessings to both of you.
I really appreciate this video. I’m currently navigating the friends with benefits/situationship space from detachment while also being aware of what I like and don’t like and communicating that.
This is so relevant for me... by far my favorite vid right now.
This video made me realize that maybe I am in love with the future I have made up about my lover. Something felt off, but I didn't know what. We live in different countries so we don't see each other as often, so we decided to not put a label on our relationship. I am happy with this decision, however I do feel that sometimes I am controlling my feelings too, just because I feel that he doesn't let me love him, and that I do not have the right to feel certain things just because we're not in a committed relationship.
I can't thank you enough for making this video, and also for talking about how different people will experience different things. With social media, it's hard to not try to accomplish what others have, especially when looking at romantic relationships. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that my romantic relationships do not have to be a copy of what I see around me. It's a struggle, but videos like these make me come closer to the acceptance and understanding that I need.
I can't find the right wording for this. But the way you and Jared create sponsored content is amazing. It never feels unnatural or "cheap" if that makes sense.
I’m so in awe of the truth with which you communicate with one another ✨
This is just an absolutely wonderful video that I needed very much. I've been in therapy for a little bit over a year now and my self awareness is growing steadily. Actually very rapidly and I've found out that I''m so scared of confrontations that I break down to just confront something of/with myself, my own self destructive behavior. In relationships this gets only worse since I'm a well trained mediator and avoid conflicts at all costs, the main cost being my sanity. As the conflicts I avoid play out in my head, I create my own versions of a person I supposedly love until I can't differentiate my illusions vs what's real. I look at other love stories or other people's opinions as solutions, not inspiration. I am all over the place, everywhere and anywhere except right here, with the person I supposedly want to commit to until the end of my days. Understanding myself is the first step, being able to express my needs and worries in a constructive manner is something I haven't had the guts to do for 27 years now. I'm still trying to grasp how confronting someone is just a way of communicating and that anger is a normal emotion that shouldn't be feared. And your video just gave me another boost to believe in myself and my growth in communicating. Thank you so much
I actually watched video earlier and spent a whole day doing other things but HAD to come back to say this. I loved the insight that you gave us with those text messages. Not that I EVER had a reason not to believe you, but seeing you demonstrate that same type of communication with Jared all those years ago really shows everrryone you really been practicing what your preach from time. It makes me excited that I can potentially do the same as I’ve been learning for you and Jared for years. Most love to You both
This is just an assumption but I think it worked because you're both securely attached?? Or you healed your attachment trauma. I think that makes a difference EVEN if the relationship is casual.
They both loyal
To me it’s sounds like she’s FA and he’s DA, I’m FA myself and I can relate to confrontation in head and blowing up in the end. And He’s DA, when mentioned about saying No to every major stage in their breakthrough, the inconsistent texts and etc. The difference here is healthy boundaries. They def became secure through setting them because It worked for the main their differences. Remember him saying conversational and not confrontational.
@@Akayemiix3 They healed their attachment issues through boundaries then. Normally unhealed FA and DA relationship would have crashed and burned and would not have this much clear communication
You guys actually make me look forward to dating.
Thank you so much for this! This gives me more reason to self reflect and figure out how I move in relationships. Even the point of creating your own love story and not trying to create the ending but creating as you go! Man! Wooh! *SNAPS FOR ALL THE KIDS*
I love this entire conversation 💯 thank you both for sharing!
I love how transparent you guys are 💕
You guys are some actual grownups having grown conversations and I appreciate that.
The screensaver 😂😂😂😭
I am so happy to see this video watch it twice I’m ready to try something different now thank you for sharing
Just love your relationship 😍 it's everything I want
I think the reason this worked out is not because you called him out but because you made him feel good all the time. Even your " calling out" texts were very positive and made him feel great. You were so good at communicating.
I love their hair...gaud damn
I am finally early and not weeks late lol... That Screensaver lmao. I love this... the past conversations you guys had were pretty awesome damn.
I am late but I am SO happy to have found your page. The birth control video brought me here. I LOVE how open you are, you have truly inspired me today.
Such a beautiful conversation!!
Wow a couple that uses condoms 😱
This is amazing and hardly ever heard of, thank you for normalizing it 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
But not every fwb ends this good like that
Most don't
a relationship isn't the only "good" ending for a fwb. it just ending can be a good end too, if it's what suits the people involved more. friends too. and if someone starts to develop romantic feelings and not the other person, then there can be "good endings" as well. that's what so great about knowing how to know and manage your feelings (not repress them) & how to communicate.
Thank you 4 this gem 💜
I remember that rough patch with the bed bugs... so glad you got through that 💛
SUCH a great vieo shan! i love that you guys bring a totally different perspective that we often forget about - bringing attention to the honest, raw, real experience that society often skews. thank you guys for having these great conversations and sharing valuable nuggets of wisdom :)
They are so great. I just found this channel and I can’t stop watching 😊
Hugs loves and many blessings too you and your Beautiful family ❤ Your baby is such a beautiful princess...I adore watching y'all and I also learn a lot from u..Thanks ShanBooty and hubby
This is great--but WHY would you invite someone over when you have bed bugs?! ....they spread easily. But I love y'alls love.
I'm new ish here so I haven't seen your jubilee interview but I'm going to go watch that now and find out more about how you both met. My partner is transitioning & while we have been together for 7 years there is a lot that's changing emotionally so I've been trying to find more advice on relationship communication. This helped!
I’m glad y’all are together 🔥
This conversation 🤌🤌✨️
Please do more videos like these about your past and how y’all grow together and communicated
Eros means desire, not love. But through Eros u can find Devine love
i love this!! thank you so much for sharing your communication style with us. super appreciated
This video a beautiful gem that one could learn alot from applause 👏 🙌
Ugh love these conversation type videos with you and Jared.
Literally where do you buy your clothes I'm OBSESSED with those pants
Im completely stuck between admiring the openness of your relationship and praying for that so much in my own life and nitpicking and looking for the faults in these kinds of conversations because I don't know how much of it might be real and the rest a mirage. Either way thank you for the view into a small spectrum of your love language and sustainability
I personally felt that everything was real and extremely rare :o
I enjoyed this conversation so much. I can relate... and this gives me some language to communicate my boundaries and manage my expectations effectively.
Or people assume if you’re one thing you like other shit. But I love yall!!!! So happy I found you guys!!!!!
Omg so good!! The end of this convo was golden
I picked up so many gems from this video! Thank you for the amazing insight and transparency you two shared in this video! I had to watch a few times so I didn’t miss anything! You gave me an idea of how to present to my fwb (that may be going in a relationship direction) on how I don’t want to pressure him to text me if he’s too busy! This will help me as well so I’m not blowin up on him when I don’t hear from him!
Omg!!! This is so eye opening and the stuff you said is so true. Thank you!!❤️
His voice tho 😍😍😍