No matter how you do it, get out of relationships with avoidants. They will lead you on, lie to you, and then betray you. Then they will repeat the cycle with another person. And then another person. And then another person…
I am not familiar with attachment style. All I know is I had what I thought was my forever partner, and after a loving 15month relationship, very little disagreements, many I love you's and daily kisses, she left for a summer job, (we talked about it, I had no problem) 4 months we were going to meet back for a fall road trip in Az. We were living in Hawaii. Contact became weak after a couple weeks, 2 weeks later ghosted and blocked on e mail. No contact now for 7 months, I am totally heartbroke and confused. I have sent 5 letters to Care of her folks, I've had no response. I am 69 years, I have never experienced this, ever. All previous breakup from former girlfriends have been discussed and agreed. Still friends. 😞
Does an avoidant understand or realize the hurt and disappointment they create? The essential few years of destruction of the partners life? Do you think they care? What about the waste and empty space n their's.
I don’t subscribe to no contact as means to get someone to DO anything. Her attachment style is irrelevant. The only question is my boundaries, what I will tolerate. And ghosting, no communication is not something I will tolerate. So after the break up, I cut her off for good. I’ve learned through a mutual friend that she misses me but won’t reach out. I think that’s the best for all involved.
Never reach out first if they dumped you. I did reach out in three months of no contact to be ghosted again. Never reach out first after that, you will get the cold in your face…
Just let the avoidant go! I know it’s hard I’ve been there. They were deeply in love me, opened up to me like they never have with anyone else and validated my feelings often…until we had a slight conflict that triggered them and BOOM they became completely unrecognizable, started leaking confidential stuff I told them to tarnish my reputation and started acting like I abandoned them when they in fact said they were indifferent so I respected myself and walked away loool. Let them go. You’ll cry like hell, mental health will go up and down but you’ll heal. Give yourself the opportunity to actually find the love you desire by getting them out of the way. Also if you think they are the love of your life, they are not! The only reason you always need more of them is because they never give you enough!
Amazing video. A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldn't say it didn't go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isn't always rosy, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other
Really appreciate the fact that you allow each indivual case to be treated differently. Yes avoidant can be differcult to connect with and in some situations they may never reach out , I on my part believe its worth taking the gamble It has been hard but ,when you truly love someone then it makes sense to do all you can if you believe that relationship is worth the hardships .
Well yes they do their challenge whether they can upgrade maintain or downgrade... some are ready to jump on the next bus others are so wary, been hurt that they won't and don't. Been with both flavors😊
I’ve tried to start conversations with my ex. It’s been 2 months since our breakup. He always would reciprocate “I miss you’s” “I’m thinking of you “ etc. anyway, this week I decided to push a bit… and tell him “I believe you want to see me just as much as I want to see you”. Now he stopped replying for the first time. I told him I would step back and he can reach out when and if he wants. All the things you mentioned felt like him, but now idk.
There’s a list out there top 10 things that trigger DA to shut down or discard. One of them is someone saying, I know you better than you know yourself. Apparently this causes them to get mad. So, sounds like what you said. Sounds like that’s how they took it.
Is it the growing closeness that causes an avoidant to almost shut down overnight? My partner realizes his pattern and wishes he was different but no effort to work through the fears together.
If the Avoidant was able to communicate why they run away and cut you off... well that's the point... they don't communicate no contact on their part, they shut down and run away..
I have just gained insight into my avoidance man's psychology. I just want to share it. Also discuss how to share it with him. He is very ill at the moment and I'm not sure what's going to happen and when he'll get better.
What happens if they cut you off completely, after break up via text due to apparent conflict resolution/incompatibility reason. Been nearly 8 weeks NC haven't heard a thing. Female Avoidant, any chance she might initiate contact still or too late? 2nd break up too, all after communication problems that I was all blamed for. Is this a situation where I should try to initiate contact or dont bother?
Shell come back I wouldn’t worry about it. The question is why would you want to keep back with an avoidant? Just come here to cope and then when you’re healed don’t date them again. They don’t bring any value to anyone’s life anyways.
@@marguskiis7711 yeah I agree, don't think she is coming back. Woman have too many options unfortunately. Being in my mid 40's makes it hard for a male as not many options. Iam devastated, was planning on spending the rest of my life with this girl & now I have to try start all over again. I cant be bothered.
Reached out on my DA ex afte 2months of breakup and no contact via test, didn't beg nor sound need, I was like " let's not make pride n ego ruin our beautiful connection" did that cause from these videos they're scared of being open or vulnerable to reach first, so her replied was, there's nothing to work out , she's moved on, that I should do thesame, I now knew she was long gone before the disconnect, and has alot to do do about her not me, and that's final from my side, that was my last shot... you all can blame me for rwaching out like my friends did, but I'm fine... I'm an empath who don't give up easily.
No matter how you do it, get out of relationships with avoidants. They will lead you on, lie to you, and then betray you. Then they will repeat the cycle with another person. And then another person. And then another person…
😢
I am not familiar with attachment style. All I know is I had what I thought was my forever partner, and after a loving 15month relationship, very little disagreements, many I love you's and daily kisses, she left for a summer job, (we talked about it, I had no problem) 4 months we were going to meet back for a fall road trip in Az. We were living in Hawaii. Contact became weak after a couple weeks, 2 weeks later ghosted and blocked on e mail. No contact now for 7 months, I am totally heartbroke and confused. I have sent 5 letters to Care of her folks, I've had no response. I am 69 years, I have never experienced this, ever. All previous breakup from former girlfriends have been discussed and agreed. Still friends. 😞
Does an avoidant understand or realize the hurt and disappointment they create? The essential few years of destruction of the partners life? Do you think they care? What about the waste and empty space n their's.
@@geekt 🥲
it takes an intelligent person to navigate a relationship with an avoidant. it's not for most people.
I don’t subscribe to no contact as means to get someone to DO anything. Her attachment style is irrelevant. The only question is my boundaries, what I will tolerate. And ghosting, no communication is not something I will tolerate. So after the break up, I cut her off for good. I’ve learned through a mutual friend that she misses me but won’t reach out. I think that’s the best for all involved.
Never reach out first if they dumped you. I did reach out in three months of no contact to be ghosted again. Never reach out first after that, you will get the cold in your face…
Just let the avoidant go! I know it’s hard I’ve been there. They were deeply in love me, opened up to me like they never have with anyone else and validated my feelings often…until we had a slight conflict that triggered them and BOOM they became completely unrecognizable, started leaking confidential stuff I told them to tarnish my reputation and started acting like I abandoned them when they in fact said they were indifferent so I respected myself and walked away loool.
Let them go. You’ll cry like hell, mental health will go up and down but you’ll heal. Give yourself the opportunity to actually find the love you desire by getting them out of the way.
Also if you think they are the love of your life, they are not! The only reason you always need more of them is because they never give you enough!
Amazing video. A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldn't say it didn't go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isn't always rosy, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other
Aww ☺️ I’ve never heard of a success story! Thanks for posting. Gives me somewhat of a hope.
Really appreciate the fact that you allow each indivual case to be treated differently. Yes avoidant can be differcult to connect with and in some situations they may never reach out , I on my part believe its worth taking the gamble It has been hard but ,when you truly love someone then it makes sense to do all you can if you believe that relationship is worth the hardships .
They don't communicate and start to look to meet their needs with someone else! Don't fall for this shit.
Women just find another man and thats it.
Well yes they do their challenge whether they can upgrade maintain or downgrade... some are ready to jump on the next bus others are so wary, been hurt that they won't and don't. Been with both flavors😊
Fun 🎉🎉🎉ur hair
Aw thanks! ☺️
I’ve tried to start conversations with my ex. It’s been 2 months since our breakup. He always would reciprocate “I miss you’s” “I’m thinking of you “ etc. anyway, this week I decided to push a bit… and tell him “I believe you want to see me just as much as I want to see you”. Now he stopped replying for the first time. I told him I would step back and he can reach out when and if he wants. All the things you mentioned felt like him, but now idk.
There’s a list out there top 10 things that trigger DA to shut down or discard. One of them is someone saying, I know you better than you know yourself. Apparently this causes them to get mad. So, sounds like what you said. Sounds like that’s how they took it.
@@cecilang9721 lmao honestly I give up at this point
@@cecilang9721 where can I find that list tho
Is it the growing closeness that causes an avoidant to almost shut down overnight? My partner realizes his pattern and wishes he was different but no effort to work through the fears together.
Yes. The closeness brings connection. The connection is what triggers them to run away... that's why they do situations hips...
@@bruceboyer8187hips? Not sure I understand 🤍
If the Avoidant was able to communicate why they run away and cut you off... well that's the point... they don't communicate no contact on their part, they shut down and run away..
....they don't really give you a choice....
Do you do email advice? I can't afford to pay your fees for one hour.
Same 🤍
I can afford part of the cost for an email reply
I have just gained insight into my avoidance man's psychology. I just want to share it. Also discuss how to share it with him. He is very ill at the moment and I'm not sure what's going to happen and when he'll get better.
@@rednvocal I hope she answers you and can help you out! If you feel comfortable sharing it heat maybe we all can help 🤍
If you tell em the doors open and the lights are on then they can either return or they don't
Perfect scenario for breadcrumbs
What happens if they cut you off completely, after break up via text due to apparent conflict resolution/incompatibility reason. Been nearly 8 weeks NC haven't heard a thing. Female Avoidant, any chance she might initiate contact still or too late? 2nd break up too, all after communication problems that I was all blamed for. Is this a situation where I should try to initiate contact or dont bother?
Shell come back I wouldn’t worry about it. The question is why would you want to keep back with an avoidant? Just come here to cope and then when you’re healed don’t date them again. They don’t bring any value to anyone’s life anyways.
@@djcapela women usually do not come back, they just move on.
@@djcapela Love the part of: just come here to heal. That’s so true. Some good RUclips content on the matter really helps.
@@marguskiis7711 Depends.
@@marguskiis7711 yeah I agree, don't think she is coming back. Woman have too many options unfortunately. Being in my mid 40's makes it hard for a male as not many options. Iam devastated, was planning on spending the rest of my life with this girl & now I have to try start all over again. I cant be bothered.
Reached out on my DA ex afte 2months of breakup and no contact via test, didn't beg nor sound need, I was like " let's not make pride n ego ruin our beautiful connection" did that cause from these videos they're scared of being open or vulnerable to reach first, so her replied was, there's nothing to work out , she's moved on, that I should do thesame, I now knew she was long gone before the disconnect, and has alot to do do about her not me, and that's final from my side, that was my last shot... you all can blame me for rwaching out like my friends did, but I'm fine... I'm an empath who don't give up easily.